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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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[Kim] Think Richard O'Sullivan.
[Rab] None the wiser. I kept thinking of Gilbert O'Sullivan and it put me off.
Right, er, Chatsworth, or Lanhydrock maybe.
New game idea/request
Can we have a banter game of some kind?
Well, I wouldn't contribute to it.
Oh dear
Having instigated this, I feel responsible - and I certainly don't want blood on my hands if the game slots vanish entirely again =(
However, I've not really got any ideas. Except, well... I've seen an online game called NationStates where one runs a country via its inner workings. So I wondered if perhaps we could invent the continent of Morningtonia, each stake a claim to some land and then see how our national/international diplomacy skills are... and hope that the answer to the question "When does the game end?" isn't necessarily "NUCLEAR WAR!"
On second thoughts:
... I'd like to suggest a game called "Lead Balloon".
New game idea
Cat chess? This rules variant is slightly different from the last one I saw, but looks promising.
[Tuj] A game of Morningtonian Government sounds like fun to me.
New Games
I like both ideas that don't involve cat chess. I don't understand how Cat Chess would work. Bantering would be my vote if it is an ether/ore choice.
New Games
Have you noticed that there isn't a single game of "Mornington Crescent" in play on this server. Why don't we start one of those?
How do you play that then, Kim?
Blasphemy, apostasy, iconoclasm etc.
I dont' think MC itself works very well here. It really has to be played live so that the players can display all the mock-gravity and in-depth knowledge of arcane rules that this involves. It's a performance, really, and needs rather good actors.
Then maybe a game of 'Dress Rehearsal Mornington Crescent' will show what sheer hard work has to go into putting on a slick performance in the Game itself? I'm thinking this might give us an insight into the director's final, fraught instructions, the referee's frantic consultations with the rule book(s) and the performers' last-minute nerves showing through.
and then
Game slot still available, of the suggestions go along with pen.
Dusted the cob webs off the BBQ over the weekend. My only quibble was the sausages, those from the local butcher cooked a treat but the Walls sausages almost went up in flames they were spitting so much fat.
[Rosie] A lot of the games are like that -- improv theatre, really. Take a look at the yorkives link on the front page here and contemplate the glories of the past, when MC was the main game played.
Talking of which. Is this someone we know?
Ah, just seen it's CANCELLED - but I guess the question still stands...
(rab) Do you really need to ask that?
[rab] Yep, that's us. All things considered, just as well we cancelled (a couple of months back) as only one song is yet complete, and we keep going back to the synopsis and tweaking. Should show up next year in the form of a reading or full production, hopefully. We're devoting tomorrow to completing a 10 minute extract which will be done this year at Theatre 503 in London, then podcast as an audio-format musical.
Good luck. If you do ever come up to Edinburgh be sure to drop me a line so we can catch up over an IPA or something.
[rab] Coincidentally, I'll be teaching a course on the IPA next semester.
[rab, Néa] aɪd lʌv ə bɪə
Projoy's post
What do all the little squares mean?
(rab, Néa) Isopropyl alcohol is not good for you.
squarelets
[SM] They mean your browser isn't rendering International Phonetic Alphabet symbols
[Rosie] Any chance you can get the rain to stop? It's started leaking into our flat. Roofers have been called but they're a bit busy today.
Rain
(rab) Edinburgh, yes? It'll gradually peter out but Saturday afternoon brings another dollop. Hope you can get it done before then. This used to happen at work rather a lot so we set up an indoor raingauge network.
More rain
(rab) It was wet day even for Scotland with 40 mm in parts of Edinburgh, according to this. Edinburgh's mean annual rainfall is actually considerably less than mine in the dripping wet Surrey uplands. (680 mm vs 815 mm)
I suppose if you get 6% (21 days' worth) of your annual average rainfall on one day you can expect problems. Two surprising things about Edinburgh -it's further west than you think (more so than Bristol) and not as wet as you think. Paisley (just to the west of Glasgow) has twice as much rain as Edinburgh.
[Rosie] Rest assured, the men are up there now tying the chimney down. It needs to resurfaced or something, which means we need to get somewhere between 7 and 10 neighbours to contribute to the costs. Oh what fun!
(rab) What fun indeed! Glad it's never happened to me (yet). More rain Saturday but fairly routine stuff.
it is a-raining not in Tokyo
It has been pissing down (scientific term) here in Brussels for as long as memory serves. I drove the new Alfa to Cologne on Friday and visibility in the rain was worse than in a carwash. Don't you just love summer in Northern Europe?
Niederschlage
(ISP) The official term is AFPD. Take heart; this is a bad summer by most standards and least it's better than winter.
Smug
It has been a lot better over here than up north this summer. We have avoided rain for the most part (apart from 72mm in 4 hours the Sunday before last). It's looking a bit iffy for the rest of the week, though.
Deperately trying to think of something other than the weather to talk about
Does anyone here like cold tea? I do.
Cold tea
Yes, especially with ice and a slice of lemon or a sprig of mint.
Iced tea, yes. Hot tea gone cold: URHGURHUGHHUHYYEEAEAUURK.
I generally don't drink tea, but regularly drink hot coffee gone cold, and occasionally iced coffee. I hasten to add that if I had milk in my coffee, I would, in all probability, drink it neither iced nor gone-cold.
(Softers, Graham III) No, I meant tea gone cold. Great! Coffee gone cold is just as good. I make a virtue of necessity because having brewed it I get on with doing something and forget about the drink.
Cold tea
Well, I drink tea and coffee without milk anyway.
Once I have made myself a cup of tea, I'll drink it all, even if it has gone cold. Coffee less so. I love iced tea, and iced coffee, and make both at home in the summer. If I'm at home, I put milk in tea and coffee. If I'm in Holland, I'll drink them without milk.
Milk
Milk! Foul substance that from bovine teats expressed
For infant calves, man steals for ends perverse
Drinking that infant nourishment, whose end
Ends crated in the dark before the knife
Cuts short -- but to pick up the thread again --
Vile stuff for human stomach never meant
That rots i' the open air in scant three days
Else churned to yellow grease; or rotted more
With fungus mingled in ten thousand ways
Until it stinks like to the arse of Hades
   -- contd. p. 94
Re: Milk
Yeah, what Raak said!
What, no cheese?
Panna cotta, custard, Yorkshire puddings, macaroni cheese, icecream, buttered toast, cappucino, parsley sauce... [Phil, Raak] I don't believe you.
[pen] I was with you all the way until you mentioned parsley sauce, whereupon Raak suddenly started to make more sense.
[CdM] OK. Switch that to 'peppercorn sauce' for your rib-eye steak.
[pen] Well, I don't like milk, custard, panna cotta or cappucino; but the others are nice.
Lait, leche, llaeth etc
(Phil) What do you put on your cornflakes/shredded wheat/weetabix? Not syrup, I hope.
[Rosie] As a result, I very rarely eat breakfast cereals. If I do, the milk needs to be as fresh and cold as possible.
[Rosie] I put canned fruit on my muesli. If I ate porridge, which I don't, I'd make it with water.
Dairy products
I stopped taking milk in tea and coffee as a result of trying to reduce my cholesterol count. I like milk and cheese and all the things pen listed, so tea and coffee without milk keeps the intake down without too much pain.
Anyone who was a child in the late '40's will have had it drummed into them the milk was a Good Thing (free at school, off the ration) and as far as I'm concerned it still is, within limits. Nothing could beat slurping the cream off the top of the bottle, and still can't. Fortunately, at the moment I don't have a cat, which would obviously have first shout.
Showing my age
Free school milk nearly put me off milk for life. In summer it was stacked in the playground in the sun for a couple of hours before we got it, so it was always warm and slightly off.
I now only drink skimmed when I have a choice - full cream just tastes greasy to me. However I still eat too much cheese and use plenty of whole milk & cream in cooking.
I went off milk somewhere between 14 and 18, I reckon. I used to drink loads of it before then. The thought of the cream off the top of the bottle makes me feel queasy these days. Oh, and please don't even mention the "straight from the cow" option - yuk!
We have a cat but he doesn't like milk, or cheese, strangely. First cat I've known not to like either or both. We had school milk in the 50s, in 1/3 pint bottles, and a choice of orange juice (which I preferred) and then Jersey milk was very creamy (it's not now due to over processing). I can remember the milkman delivering the milk in churns and filling up a jug my mother used to leave on the doorstep. I think they introduced bottles in about 1956. Then bottles were replaced by humbug shaped Tetra Paks in about 1967.
(Software) Cats shouldn't have milk too often but binge-licking every now and again won't do any harm. Cats are also useful for hoovering up bits of chicken off the floor.
[Rosie] There is nothing useful a cat can do that a labrador and a mousetrap can't.
[Phil] Possibly true, but with a cat you don't have to keep careful track of which one you are petting.
[Rosie] Our cat won't eat cooked chicken either. [CdM} Another advantage of cats is that they don't need to be exercised or groomed regularly.
Ours occasionally comes along and licks the milk at the bottom of our muesli bowls. And she's much better at dealing with the mice than the traps. She also spends a lot of time sitting on the internet, acting as some kind of firewall I think.
[Rosie] True. But Phil might point out that the same is true of mousetraps.
We've recently discovered that there are at least two other cats in the building, which could be why we saw a flurry of mouse activity before we got ours.
I have just discovered that our cat likes icecream. As regards chasing mice he is a pacifist. The other day he was seen lying in our garden with a dormouse nibbling a fallen apple about 30cm from his nose.
My cat presented me with a very much alive and wriggling mouse yesterday. It was a great big ferocious critter, probably weighing well over a quarter of an ounce.
moustory
[Simons] And then? What happened next?
Well, I managed to catch it, then popped it in a cardboard box for an hour or so to give it a chance to calm down, then let it go, ready for the cat to catch at some other time.
(SM) The cat is turning into an angler, then?
random, catless
*complains about the cold*
Frigidity
(flerdle) Me too. It's a lousy August here. The temperature is staying mostly below 20 and my home-made sundial is getting very little exercise.
[Rosie] Your sundial doesn't enable you to dial up any sun?
Springy steps
As August fades into the past the promise of a new season is enticing my olfactory senses from their hibernation. A pleasant hour and a half of practice at my local bowling club (after which I was accepted as a member of the Hat-Wearing-Volvo-Driving Geriatric Club) combined with a beautiful and warm day (maximum 18.9ºC) has contrived an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity within the castle known as 'Dujon's Folly'. Oh, happy days.
Dial-up radiaton
(pen) Fat chance. I spent a long time getting all the geometry right (it's on a wall) but little chance of testing it. People on the weather newsgroup with actual sun-measuring equipment say that it the dullest August for a long time and scarcely better than January. That's when they're not hurling miss-spelt abuse at each other and generally acting like ****s, ****s and ****s, even. What gets into people? This is a haven of well-mannered sanity.
Putting a spell on you
[Rosie] Can I assume you misspelled misspell on purpose?
What do we think about that university lecturer's suggestion that the 20 most common spelling mistakes should be accepted as variant spellings? (For examples and the lecturer's argument, see article on Times Higher Education website.)
(Knobbly) Did you mean the "miss" or the "spelt"? The latter is an approved form in my C.O.D. 1964. Maybe the "miss" ought to have only one "s". As to the university lecturer, he is either playing Devil's Advocate, a posh way of saying "taking the piss", or is pretty comprehensively ignorant of language. His ideas have been well rebutted in the replies on the site. I see he's a professor of criminology. I'd lock him up and throw the key away. Know what I mean, guv?
(Rosie) Yes, I meant the "miss". One s from the prefix mis- and the other which was already on the beginning of the verb.
Meteorological irony
The air above about 3000 feet the last few days is very warm and dry and if the cloud disappeared the temperature would shoot up rapidly to about 28°C. But the lower layer of air is cool and moist and cloud can't penetrate the warm air, being cooler and therefore denser. So if the upper air were cooler there'd be some chance of the cloud being carried upwards and evaporating and we'd have a warm, sunny day. Maybe not 28°C but at least 23°C. BTW the sudden rise of temperature as you go up above about 3000 feet (in this case) is called an inversion and is a common feature. In Siberia in winter it can be as much as 25 degC warmer aloft than at the surface, say -20° compared with -45°.
Bah!
I'm working from home on a Saturday, trying to get stuff done before going on holiday for two weeks in a fortnight's time. But it's an opportunity to go through my CD collection one-by-one as I work. I hadn't unpacked them since I moved here almost a year ago. Right now: CD 3 of the complete collection of Vaughan Williams symphonies.
Blah!
I turned 50 while on holiday last week. I find it oddly liberating. Can anyone tell me why this is?
[Kim] It's because you know that your next birthday won't be your sixtieth :0(.
[Kim] Because you have realised that, despite the trepidation and build-up, you don't actually feel any different?
I ended up working most of Sunday too. And it rained. What a write-off of a weekend. Never mind. All of this will soon be over.
*complains about the cold. Again.*
Happy Birthday, Kim. 50 isn't that old. Not a lot you can do about it, anyway, other than walk in front of a bus beforehand (too late now).
Silver surfers
(Software) Neither will mine.
Shameless self-promotion, cross-posted at other sites
There's another beer and music festival this weekend at philspub
Re: trumpet blowing
Love to come, but ...
Since it has been so quiet here for so long, may I just say, a propos of nothing except general boasting, that I have just scored 227 in a single scrabble move? Thank you.
[CdM] Wow! How?
(CdM) Is that possible? 227 is a prime number and I thought scores were always multiplied by various factors rather than added. Apart from that, v good.
[Rosie] Presumably it was 59 tripled plus the bonus 50 for using all 7 letter from the rack.
I thought you'd never ask
[Phil, Rosie] The word was EQUISETA, played across two triple word scores on an existing Q, and also making the words ET and SWING. The letters in EQUISETA have a total value of 18 (including the double letter score on the I), which when twice tripled gives 162. ET contributed another 6 points (because it was also on a triple word), and SWING contributed another 9. That plus the 50 point bonus gives 227. (Note, by the way, that the tiles in my hand were worth a grand total of 7 points.)

It was a very high scoring game: my opponent got 417 points and still lost by over 100.
I think CdM has stunned us all into silence with that accomplishment. In other news, I'm about to jet off for two weeks with the windy miller, taking in a road trip to Turin to visit a friend. On Monday, I am working 'from home' to finish off a press campaign (look out for Ancient Tree Hunt news about the 'Acorns to Ancients' seed collecting month hitting a local newspaper near you). And also,if anyone fancies a bosky trip to Hainault, there's a forest festival taking place in Hainault Forest from September 21 onwards - Speed Dating walks in the woods, anyone? Alternatively, learn woodland management, take part in forest art sessions, or take a guided 'Silent Walk' to listen to the sounds of the forest. If I wasn't elsewhere,. I'd go myself.
Well, you live and learn.. "Bosky" is definitely a word I'll endeavour to add to my everyday vocabulary.
To the woods!
(Phil) I'm surprised you didn't know it already, man of your calibre. I came across it as a teenager though I admit it's not used much.
[Rosie] When it comes to expanding my vocab, I'm all ears - which explains why I got called Wingnut at school, incidentally.
A propos of nothing...
Doubt if there's a game in this, but things have been quiet in here just lately, but I as wondering how high one could count with film/book names, particularly using just ordinals, rather than cardinals.. Starting with "First Among Equals".
Forty-Second Street?
The Third Man (oblig)
Born on the Fourth of July
The Fifth Element
The Sixth Sense
The Inn of the Seventh Happiness
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Right up to the minute, we have The Eighth Wonder
The Ninth Gate
The Tenth Man (3.33 times more oblig than previously)
The Eleventh Hour
Twelfth Night: Or What You Will.
Apollo 13
Sticking to the ordinals concept
Friday the 13th
The Magnificent Seven
going in sequence after all:
15 Minutes
Pay Attention please
[Software] We're looking for ordinal numbers here, so the next one is Fifteenth
Mind you I think we must be getting close to the limit
The Fifteenth. (But I admit that I have started cheating now.)
[INJ/CdM] I have cheated this morning and discovered that the lowest ordinal for which there is not a non-TV, feature-length film is 31st!
I have a couple in mind for later on, but I looked up 14th. On the other hand Phil's original suggestion included books, and I don't see why we should exclude made-for-TV films as long as they're feature length (say 80 mins minimum). I'm surprised at 31st not being there though as the last day of 7 months and last day of the year.
Further cheating
And when I do look I discover I actually did know a book with 31st in the title - annoying, that.
Ancient film
Knuckles rapped but - Quartorze Juliette
Ok, so Phil needs to fill in the blanks from 16th to 30th, then we have INJ's, then this.
Then something with 33rd, then Miracle on 34th Street.
[Projoy] Done
[Software] I'll say, I wouldn't stand for that kind of spelling from one of my students.
[nights] Nonono, it's a sort of French Kind Hearts and Coronets, in which Mme Binoche plays fourteen different roles.
[CdM] I see. I'm still not impressed though, Juliette Binoche is bad enough when she's just playing one role, let alone fourteen.
Quiet in here.
For the benefit of Ms Pitstop
I saw my first F1 race last night. It was rather fun in a loud fast car sort of way.
Noisy cars
[CdM] Ah - beat me to it. I was just going to ask if you'd watched it, and if not, if it had had an impact on your night.
[Phil] I saw the race from a slightly unusual vantage point. Because the race went by Singapore's business district, a number of offices with good views hosted parties, and we were invited to one of those. I was a bit sceptical beforehand, but it was actually really cool: an excellent birds-eye view of about one third of the track. A group of us also went downstairs for a while in the middle of the race, where we couldn't see much but could certainly hear it. This way of watching the race also had a couple of other advantages: food and wine; and access to television coverage. Given that I don't really follow F1 that closely, I liked being able to hear commentary while watching. I'm sure that being trackside would be a different experience, but I'm not sure I would have gotten so much out of it. All in all, a fun evening.
[CdM] Ah, but did you see where the race was won and lost: i.e. in the Ferrari Pit?
[CdM] I've heard trackside isn't so great, especially if you don't speak the local lingo. A friend of mine was phoned by someone at Spa to find out who had won the grand prix he'd just been watching, as he couldn't find out at the track.
Trackside at the British Grand Prix a few years ago, we were given little radios with earphones to get the trackside commentary, which was excellent. It's a lot more exciting close up - especially in the wet...
Shame about Dress Rehearsal. Never mind though, eh. Anyone have any ideas for new games?
I've just had one. An idea. Condensed books? Summarise the plot of a book in a particularly glib fashion, much like "So the Danish guy dies".
New games
(nights) Good idea, not that I'd be the star contributor.
New Game
[nights] I think something similar has been done somewhere before - but it could be anywhere in the last 12 years, so I'm certainly up for a new version.
New Game
I am an occasional contributor to, but mostly an amused reader of the "Ridiculously Easy Poetry" game currently being played in another place. Certain opening lines seem to come up quite frequently, sometimes involving fleas. I wonder whether a poetry-based "hillocks" game would be enjoyable for a while ("If I should die and go to Innisfree"). Any thoughts?
[nights] We definitely played that game a couple of years ago -- iirc it involved three-word and then two-word summaries. That doesn't mean we couldn't resurrect it, of course.
[Kim] I like that idea...
[CdM] I think that was "Butler Did It" and it was more than a couple of years ago. :)
Well, as the consensus seems positive, I'll create the game.
Me, too.
Who's a hillock?
I don't understand. Boo hoo hoo. What's the point of the new poetry game?
What a Hillock
Don't cry... "Wuthering Hillocks" is a game which aims to ease the poverty of the TV, film and book industries by suggesting inexpensive remakes of old hits, for example "One walked round the cuckoo's nest" or "Who wants to be a milliner?". I'm guessing that the first lines in the new game should be cheap versions of fine famous poetry. Is that it nights? As for the point of it, well...
Never Mind The Hillocks
[BL] Nothing to do with me, squire. I think Kim is the man (or possibly woman, but I think man) you need.
Oh yes...
I read back as far as "I'll create the game..." above... So - Kim?
Hillocks for the uninitiated
Yes, blamelewis has it right. "When hillocks collide" was an early-ish game on MCiOS and was set in the genre of film. It basically describes the scene of an accident. The film version generated such classics as "The Man Who Wasn't There Who Knew The Man Who Shot The Man Who Fell to Earth in Iron Mask With Two Brains", "One Million Years in Tibet" and "Sink the Titanic!". I mused idly that one could do something like that with well-known lines from poetry, hence "If I should die and go to Innisfree". I hadn't really thought about a ruleset, but perhaps there should be a minimum of two lines and no maximum, the metre of the first line should determine the metre of subsequent lines, rhyme is nice, but not essential. Is that enough to be going on with, folks?
*sigh*
It's a lovely day. I wish I'd got washing out on the line.
Behold!
(pen)

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty. (Wordsworth).

Earth has not anything to show more fair
Any more fares?
Any more fares?(Flanders & Swann)
My wife has been cleverly filtering the (snail) mail the last week so I ended up thinking the only people who had remembered my Birthday were the TV Licensing people.
rabturous
Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday to Rab!
Additionally, does anyone have anything fun planned for the weekend?
Habby Pirthday, rab!
[nights] No.
I'm being taken out tonight for a mystery meal. I think.
[rab] Taken all the labels off your tin cans, have you? ;) Slightly belated returns from here too!
[Tuj] Ah, what we used to call The Fabulous Mystery Dining Experience, back when I lived in halls. These days, if I cook out of cans, I'm sneered at by all the French people I know.
(nights) Not surprised; you're supposed to put it in a saucepan. :-)
I planted trees today. And then went dancing. All in all, quite satisfying.
Why on earth would anyone ever want three differently-coloured phones on their desk?
To match their handbag on any particular day, of course. (Well, if Posh can buy cars to match her clothes....)
Phones
If it was good enough for Reginald Perrin...
More Phones
...and a fantastic Pete & Dud sketch...
Seasonal update
It's blissfully cold this morning. Very refreshing.
I'm just glad the wind's dropped. The sign on the front of our local Post Office blew off when we were out yesterday (but, luckily, not right in front of the building).
[rab] It's probably a sign.
[Kim] No, it was a sign.
Just had the following train announcement: "Please note it is illegal to play pre-recorded music of popular music artists on trains or at stations because we do not hold a performing rights licence". Not simply because it annoys the crap out of everyone.
[rab] That leaves you clear to broadcast the back catalogue of any unpopular music artist...
muzak
(rab) I wonder if that applies to shops. I hope so.
Muzak
Unfortunately, most places, including my butcher, fork out for the PRS (aka thieving bastards) licence. The butcher, since you ask, has a radio playing, hence he needs the PRS licence.
The PRS
(Phil) I don't see why musicians shouldn't be paid for any public performance though I don't know the scale of charges. Yes, I am in the MU. I would have thought you would have been more put out by the cost of a music licence from the local council, for which you receive bugger all except a piece of paper and a bill.
"Music Licence from the Council"
No such thing any more. It all comes in the premises licence these days, thankfully.
Pub bore
(Phil) Ah! Didn't know that. But does it cost more if you are licensed for music or are all premises licensed thus?

On a different subject what do you think of the practice of discretionary closing times?, i.e. the pub will stay open the advertised extra half hour if the manager thinks it worth it on any particular evening. To me it's wanting to have your cake and eat it, or less formally, taking the piss. If you're in the pub you don't know how fast to drink or whether to have another half, say, or if arriving late, as I often do, whether the pub will be open or not. To be on the safe side I will be assuming that the place will be closed at all times, as are many of my mates. There's quite a good choice in Carshalton and I wonder if the new manager knows that. He will soon.

[Rosie] Here in Embra there's been 'late' opening for quite some time, which means most pubs close variously between 12 and 1am, and a few staying open to 3 (or 4 during the Festival). It's generally been accepted that if a place is rather quiet, it might close early, but that it's good etiquette for the staff to go round about half-an-hour beforehand to let you know that this is likely to happen, and to suggest venues that are likely to be open later. Seemed to work rather well. (I say 'seemed', as my late-night drinking days are largely behind me now).
I'm bored
I've stopped opening emails today. They've all been boring so far this morning - or have been asking me to do things I don't have time for, so I thought I'd save myself the hassle and stop opening them altogether. People will soon get the point and stop sending them.
pubs
(rab) That's reasonable if the hours are as late as that but my "local" is merely extending from 11 to 1130, and on Sundays from 1030 to 11, each night at the manager's discretion. For a "regular" that won't do because one of the points about a favourite pub is its predictablity. This seems a blundering accountant-driven policy or maybe the manager's just a lazy arsehole. We are taking punitive action.
I don't know why, but when I'm in a different timezone, I feel normal rules don't apply.

Los geht's

Anyone care for a mug of kitten?
[Knobbly] Milk no sugar please.
Black with ginger please.
Variable opening
[Rosie] I believe I've spoken on this matter on another site, but the crux of the matter is that I'm with you on this one. My pub is licensed until 1am on friday and saturday, but I close at 12. Customers need consistency, and they need to know where they stand. On very rare occasions, I will stay open until 1am, but that is for the likes of our football team's annual prizegiving, and they all know in advance. They tend to leave about 12.30 anyway though. If the pub has 50 customers one friday night and you stay open the extra 30 minutes, what happens next week when there are 45 customers. You make yourself an immediate target for bickering. If you going to take punitive action, may I suggest you let the gaffer know before you do so, as he may not notice. He also might be more likely to change his ways in advance of losing custom.
[Rosie] Your other question. No, there is no variation in cost that tallies with what your licensable activities are. You do, though, open yourself up to a much bigger can of worms in the matter of your neighbours and their potential objections.
Chucking-out time
(Phil) I think the manager may have seen sense, though not through customer persuasion AFAIK, because there is now a completely new regime after less than a fortnight of this arbitrary stuff and the pub now has a 24-hr licence all week and is advertised (in the bar) as being open from midday to 11.30 a.m., the half-hour closed being apparently to put a few things in order each day. There is no mention of management discretion on the notice. Does this mean I can stay there drinking, probably alone, until 4 in the morning (say)? What on earth is the point of that because Carshalton is not exactly Soho. I'd like to know what's going on but the barman (not the manager) couldn't help, or wouldn't.
[Rosie] Have you been in the bar since Monday then?
(Phil) Sanity has prevailed with the appearance of yet another regime in which closing time is 1130 (pm) except Friday and Saturday which are midnight and Sundays which are 11 pm. These are modest extensions to the original times. The manager could have kept his itchy fingers off the keyboard and printer until he'd made his mind up but all's well that ends well.
(pen) Shurrup. Wha' if I 'ave? :-)
Hours and Hours
Over here one has to move pub to get different closing times, it's all according to the type of licence issued, i.e. whether or not the licensee is able to have live music. Very strange but one gets used to it.
Hmm, looks like this site is about to become target for a lorryload of spam. Will need to think about tightening up the security I guess.
In the meantime, you might want to check the status of our latest building project.
[rab] Nice lav ;o)
[pen] That one's on its way out. The new one is sitting in a box in the spare bedroom.
[Rosie] Glad to hear you have stability again.
zbchk bnud
maith fthmri fuqv ktndamcs yetxq latids umgjkyftd
So nice to see we have visitors from another galaxy.
I thought it was one of us posting from a palm raspberry thing straight after emerging from the dentist's surgery.
(pen) :-)
Ching
Nice dusting of snow this morning, oddly, more in front of than out the back of the block.
Noting a slot and the date, does anyone have any inspiration for an advent-themed game of MC?
[Tuj] Done. Can you wait up until midnight to make your move? Sorry if that was a bit rude...
[pen] I knew someone would be able to hatch my half-idea =) thank you!
[Tuj] You're going to have to wait another day for a morsel of chocolate. Softers just got today's.
Odd Problem
Sorry to interrupt, but I need to get a message through to rab and the firewall here is stopping me posting to OMC/N&Q at the moment. I'm seeing a nod problem with the index page here at MC5. The names and moves displayed on it are not the same as those showing last in the games themselves. Is anyone else seeing this, or is this confined to my proxied-by-idiots world? Am I living in pre-cached hell again?
All looks fine here, Stevie.
Looks like a caching problem at your end, but I've resynched the index with the game data anyway.
Chocolate covered cache. Ooh!
[rab] *sighs* Okay. I'll resign myself to never seeing the site in it's real state then.
I could try adding the appropriate http header to try and request a non-cache.
OK
See if that works.
Cache Deals Only
[rab] Seems to have fixed it for now. Clever, you.
It's almost a week since anyone said anything, so I'll break the silence. I think I've moved into the 'finishing off projects' phase at work before my last day in the office on 23 December. How strange this is...
Not at all unusual if you are a proper professional, pen, which I assume you are.
I'm definitely demob happy now. I'm finishing off other people's jobs and bringing mince pies into work. I don't even like mince pies that much.
It gets very quiet in here over the weekend. Does that imply that most of mc5s posts are posted when the poster ought to be working?
[Knobbly] I am shocked, shocked to hear such a suggestion!
[knobbers] How very dare you??!!
I'd really like to express my hurt at the suggestion but, since I'm at work at the moment, I can't.
[Knobbly] Now look what you've done! Everyone is too ashamed to play any more. There has hardly been a move in any game for two days.
Shhh! Some of us have work to do, keep the noise down.
BOO! .....apologises to neighbours.....
Chirp
We've had a lot of dealings with tradesmen recently. None of them too disastrous (although there is still one job outstanding in the bathroom, scheduled for 8am tomorrow). But when something really good happens, I get so pleased. Our roofer was scheduled to check a few things out tomorrow morning in advance of the down-tools period (I had visions of a waterfall coming though the extractor fan on Christmas day). He phoned me up just now saying "I'm in the area, shall I come now?"; leapt onto the roof, found everything that was wrong with it and told me it would be thirty-five quid to fix. It was done in about the time it took me to get to the cashpoint and back.

Oh, and when I told him that one of his rivals told us we needed a whole new roof, he looked at me like I was mad and said, "Nah... this one will last about 20 years".

[rab] Is your bathroom fixed now?
This is my last day at work...
Woken by the telephone at ten o'clock this morning. Augh! The four best hours of the day lost in slumber, never to return! Oh well, I doubt if anyone else is at work today.
[Raak] I'm trying to plan a night off on Jan 2nd. It looks like it might work -)
[Raak] I'm still at work... Can't afford any time off, as I need all my leave for the imminent arrival of a new addition to the family. So I'll take this opportunity to wish a Merry Crimbo to everyone at MC5!
Merries
Happy wotsit. I'm obliged by the cult of Jobs to tell you this comes via my Father's iPhone.
Happinesses
Phew, Christmas successfully accomplished in the traditional manner. The Windy Miller is, this moment, accompanying the AA man in their attempts to get the car started, in anticipation of driving back to the Netherlands tomorrow. I have a chicken curry simmering on the hob, and was until a few moments ago, studying a book of Heath Robinson illustrations. Next, we will play with the new kitchen-windowsill weather monitoring station and see if we can't find out how to turn the outside temperature up a bit.
(pen) Move here. You may "glow" a little.
twelve days of Christmas
Monday, 2 December - the third consecutive day with a visit from the AA man. Today, they are taking the car away to a garage to be fixed. The advantage is that I get to spend extra time with the Windy Miller (we went to the cinema to see Australia last night - our first-ever cinema date. Marvellous cinematography, probably a lot of it CGI, but sh*t writing - maudlin, predictable and worst of all, it had Nicole Kidman in it). The disadvantage is that he is getting impatient as he has work to do back at home.
this year
I'm packing, and moving. Moving and packing. Eek!
[pen] You have my deepest empathy.
[CdM] Ignore Pen, it may not be great, but her way of seeing Australia is a lot less bother than yours.
[pen] It's a new beginning - sounds exciting. I enjoyed my 2 years in the Netherlands and would probably have stayed longer except for my ex.
epjlqroab nfpaub
hajoqpr budr znbq zoaidfeum cbrglknov mtsjiaex bveowfzyt
My heavens he's found me - anyone available to give me a lift to Bletchley?
Very cryptic, Duj :o)
I wonder if epjlqroab nfpaub is the same person as zbchk bnud from back in November?
[Knobbly] Don't be ridiculous, the names are completely different from each other.
Moving day T-3
I have two chairs and one lamp left. Everything else has been sold or is in boxes. Even my bed will sell on Ebay today, and a mate with a garage will sell my car for me. Lummy.
So you weren't joking when you said you were leaving, pen. :o)
Holland
[penelope] Where will you be living? Will you be using only public transport once you move? I've never been to Holland but I understand they have invested heavily in public transportation.
dead game?
Has Film Club run it's course, or does someone else want to suggest a new subject for it?
Public???
[SM] Public transport? Heavens no. I will be riding a stately omafiets, a birthday present from my schatje molenaar.
omafiets
[penelope] Would that be a bicycle, horse, moped or skateboard?
It's a 'granny bike' - big wheels, sprung seat, upright handlebars, luggage rack and shopping panniers, enormously comfortable and particularly suited for flat places.
Fietspads
[pen] In my my experience the wind always blows in you face whichever way you are cycling in Holland, making the traditional bikes hard work.
[Softers] Yup. But mine's aluminium so pretty light. And the wind blows against you wherever you cycle in Lincolnshire too, so that's nothing new.
Velocity vectors
(Softers, pen) The only possible conclusions are that either there is no wind in Holland, Lindsey and Kesteven or that you never cycle at less than about 50 mph. Impressive.
Bike
[penelope] The sprung seat is particularly suited to flat places? :)

Does this bicycle come with one of those teardrop-shaped "Pifo" electric horns that were so popular the last time I rode a bike?
biiiii-cycle
[Sierra Mike] I like this. It works very, very well.
[flerdle] Nice one. I read the linked article, then took a mouthfull of hot coffee just as I got to the bit about "30 blasts from one pumping-up". I immediately pictured Inspector Clouseau, in disguise, madly pumping as he cycled toward a pedestrian crowd (the parrot-inflation bit in the "Salty Swedish Sea Captain From The Salty Sea" scene is one of my favourite Sellars moments).

I'm probably going to need a new workstation keyboard now.
I've been a fan of Matthew Somerville's alternative front-end to the National Rail website for quite some time, traintimes.org.uk, on the grounds that it works better than the real one. He's recently added a live train map, and I particularly like the description of how it works:
Live departure data is fetched from the National Rail website, much like my timetable site, and then it does a bit of maths and magic.
Blowin' in the wind
*blushing* I drove the windy miller to his usual Saturday leading the volunteers and various lads at the mill this morning (practising driving (a) on the wrong side of the road and (b) on the wrong side of the car) but we were a bit later than his normal arrival time. You can see the mill from some way off because of the flat landscape, and when we were about half a mile away, the WM could see the sails were already turning and exclaimed: 'There are flags on the sails!'. As we got closer, we realised what they were. There was a Dutch tricolour on one sail, and a Union flag on the opposite one (bought specially off t'internet). And there were muffins and stroopwafels to have with coffee there this morning. Then I came home, made soup, tidied up a bit, and watched Alec Guinness in Cromwell on BBC 2 which you can get here. Bloody marvellous :o).
Arrivals
[pen] Yay!
*fancies a stroopwafel - all of a sudden*
Welkom
[pen] Nice. Watch out for the speed cameras ;o). The cable channels carry only the BBC (for copyright reasons, apparently) but if you live near the coast you can get all the UK channels (analogue ones, only probably) on an aerial.
[penelope] Happiness to you.
Thanks all :o)
Back to the mill tonight - it's floodlit farming night, so farms and mills on the island of Hoekshe Waard (that's this one) will be floodlit for busloads of sightseers to tour.
This morning's trip to the small supermarket lead me past two market-stall type vans in the main street of this large village/small town. One was a cheesemonger, on whose stall I spotted a small solitary block of English cheddar, bright orange and tightly encased in plastic, amongst the big wheels of Dutch cheese and the small morsels of some of the better-known French cheeses. There are so many good British cheeses, but none of them are known here. Hardly any of them are known behind the counters of Tesco either, but that's a different problem. *goes to chivvy up the British Cheese Marketing people*.
Cheesy lines
[pen] Perhaps if you polish off the advent chocs we could have a game writing slogans for cheese!
mmmm, cheese...
gah
I was putting together my advent chocolate feast when my internet connection broke - actually the wind dropped on the windy miller's wifi network. So if anyone can polish off the chocolates and start on the cheese, they'd be welcome to do it.
Pilgrimage
BTW, there will be a Pilgrimage in London on Feb 14th, if anyone's interested.
[penelope] eat local food - the world will thank you for it much later.
[Phil] I do, mostly - the potatoes here are particularly good, they actually taste of potato. But if they're going to import some cheese from the UK, you'd think they'd cart the good stuff about, not the orange plastic-wrapped-in-plastic stuff, wouldn't you? They seem to manage to bring in some decent French cheese.
Cheese
[Pen] Actually, the Dutch tend to like their plasticky orange cheeses - Edam and Gouda being cases in point - but some of the smoky varieties are very nice, and you should be able to get tastier Boerenkaas and goat cheeses if you look hard enough. I don't know where your windmill is but I assume there isn't an English shop round the corner. Are there no local farmers who make their own? Have you tried whingeing to Windy? On an unrelated note, are you coming to Othello? I can put you up...
Good try
[IS,P!] I'm almost ashamed to admit it, and please don't take it personally, but theatre ain't my bag. I struggle to appreciate drama and hardly watch films - Jan and I went to the cinema for the first time together in December, two years after we met. Sooo I will leave an Othello seat for someone who will appreciate it more.Perhaps we should have a Brussels Sprouting Pilg at some point though.
*has just google-mapped peneloopij's woonplaats*
Pilgrimage
[SM] Is that for people who don't have anything else to do on Valentines Day?
Slogans for cheese?
And now there's a new game slot, shall we start a Cheesy slogans game?
[Kim] What else might one have to do on Valentine's Day?
Cheese
[pen] I remember being aghast in a supermarket in Perigord (admittedly in a fairly ex-pat-filled town), and seeing Red Leicester amongst the French cheeses. Especially galling was the £11 per kg price tag!
a nice bit of...
[Phil] That's marketing for you! I'd like some jong Lincolnshire Poacher, voor mij.
[Phil] French Cheese. Galling. I get that.
I like all cheeses, but some better than others, obviously.
[Softers] Have left a question for you in AVMA - I assumed you would be looking in there. Perhaps a reply in here might be best, if that's OK with you. [ Then all will be revealed :-)]
[Soft] Ah - I've just seen it. Thanks. The reason I asked - have to go to St Helier to do some work in early Feb and thought it might be nice to connect. But as you're not there ....
:-(
3rd time lucky
Potty mouth? You ARE in Jersey, then?
St Helier
[Chalks] Yes, I am here, well I work in St Helier and live just outside. When you over?
[Softers] Any chance of you emailing? k/e/davenport/@/// gmail.com [sans hyphens - natch] :)
Well?
We're all dying to know - did Softers email Chalky? Will the Jerseypilg go ahead? Find out in next week's episode of... Chat
*chuckles*
[peneloopij] He did. It may.
In the meantime...
Sunny and very cold today in Zuid Holland. We may even yet go for a bike ride. I have no idea what my windy miller is doing downstairs while I'm upstairs trying to write something, but it sounds like he's reorganisisng something and I'm afraid to go and look.
Windy Miller
[Pen] Please tell me he has a blue coat, a red necktie and a brown upturned-flowerpot hat...
As You Like It
[IS,P!] why certainly. He has a blue coat, red neckerchief and a brown upturned-flowerpot hat. The coat and neckerchief are in the laundry basket waiting to be ironed, but he keeps the hat in the car.
You don't press his hat?
Good grief, woman, what are you thinking about? Everyone from where I came from has a flat hat (they, the wearers, are said to also have whippets and cobblestones and ghosts, but that's just not true). Even I have one! (pictures available at £150 each, on request - and after a full security cheque (price to be negotiated)).
Highly Rural
It seems to me that Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cutherbert, Dibble and Grubb will be getting jealous of all this attention.
Clarification required
[Dujon] You have one what? Ghost? Cobblestone? Whippet?
And anyway we'll have the RSPCA round to you for ironing your whippets.
You don't need to iron a flat hat - the incessant beating of the rain on it will do that for you.
Just so you know, reading this conversation is like looking at a Dali painting to me. Every time I think I'm getting the drift of it, one of the pieces flops over and makes a shape like an elephant (or a swan).
hatters
[Duj] it's not a flat hat - we're talking about the traditional attire of windy miller, the hat is upturned-flower-pot shaped. The landscape here in South Holland is flat. I can see how you got confused.
[pen] Wait. You are ironing the landscape?
[CdM] A man knocked at my door and asked if I wanted my garden landscaped. I don't think my neighbours would appreciate me turning my portrait garden sideways.
[Phil] proper lol and in the office too.
Well, well, well
I suppose that the next you lot will tell me is you don't launder your money. Honestly! What are Great Britain and the Nederlands coming to? Whatever, I bet it's a bit warmer here (excluding the Mint investigations) than it is at your picturesque location. Na, Na, Na Na Ner.       ;-)
Sweat, y'bugger
(Duj) You're welcome to 39°C with high humidity. 39°F would do me OK at the moment. There was a foot of snow here on Monday morning and still about half that even now.
Life threatening thingiwhatsits
Rosie, that is not funny. ;-) So it was you who peeked at my weather site from an area somewhere near London. You can keep your snow as I'm just hoping my air conditioning unit keeps running. Today (Saturday) should be fine - sort of - but tomorrow I fear. 47ºC is most definitely not going to be fun.
(Dujon) It would seem to be a good day to hang out the washing around here. I doubt if you'll get a true 47°C though Melbourne might. The cool change could be quite something. I'll keep an eye on it.
By contrast
(Duj) To cool off try this rather agreeable city.
Newsflash
I rudely interrupt to bring you the essential news that at 23.09 today I will be exactly* 1/3rd century old. Oh, and it's snowing.

* Subject to how one chooses to define of 'exact'

Optimist
As a special not-birthday treat, my wife took me to the optometrists. He (the optometrist, not my wife) said my prescription had changed "a little bit", but when I compared the two sets of numbers I could detect no correlation between them whatsoever.
[Rab] Were you wearing glasses at the time?
Ageism
(rab) Date of birth 9 Oct 1975 at 5 a.m. then? I have taken a century as 36524.25 days. On 18 July this year at 6 pm I shall be two-thirds of a century old. On 23 July last year I was twice as old as you. I do like faffing about with a calculator.
Rosie old chap, too much time on your hands? Very good though!
Tempus ambulat
(Bigsmith) I see mathematics (or arithmetic, which this is) as a recreation. Time to spare? Work out my date of birth. (Don't forget the leap years, all n of them.)
[Rosie] We seem to disagree by a day and an hour, even though I used the same length of a century as you... bother.
[Rosie] You're not the only one... a good friend of mine (and a Cambridge Maths graduate) recently delighted to inform me I was 7884 days old. Not long 'til the big 8000!
(rab) 10th October then? My mistake. But I don't see how I can be an hour out because 36524.25/3=12174.75 exactly. So we have to subtract 0.75 day (18 hr) from the time you gave initially, making it 5.09 a.m. I called it 5 a.m. because we're not shot from guns exactly. My double-your-age date is wrong, too. It should be 31 Aug 08 at 6 pm, if you were born at 6 a.m. 10/10/75.
Rosie's date of birth
17 November 1942 (n = 17).
[Rosie] Did you take daylight saving time into account?
uohrixg yzrqmefdx
bvkj kqna hojxkmtd uzrltjvx ityksr owucr nxdawbgvc
(rab) No. I will have no truck with such arbitrary adjustments in my sophisticated numerical analyses :-). You are right, of course, provided you were born in Britain, or possibly Spain or some West African countries.
(Bigsmith) And so are you. (6 pm, they tell me).
Accuracy
[uohrixg yzrqmefdx] That, good sir, was jolly close, as I believe even Rosie would acknowledge. I do think though that you have missed by a bit. Rosie does not live 'south of the border' and nor does he live so far west of the meridian.
I would give you 'bvyk anq.s and ityksr+polar co-ordinates' when related to the orbit of Triton as seen from Earth.
[Rosie] 6 pm aye? Then by applying the Euclidian theory of longitudinal drift to a trans-Mercator projection I determine that that would have been in Crowborough, Sussex.
(Bigsmith) Correct yet again. Amazing. Would have been Purley (nudge, nudge) but for the war. The OS Grid is a Transverse Mercator projection BTW. Very gudermannian. (Dujon) 0° 03' 36.8" W. Can't be too accurate; don't want to go in the wrong house.
[Rosie] Bugger, I thought I'd made it up! I remember we have discussed things map-wise before. I do enjoy a good OS map so it must have been subconcious. WildpantsMC may be long gone but the player profiles page is still on-line and easy to search.

That's how I know about your London Welsh parents!
Apologies for my recent absence
I can proudly announce the arrival on planet Earth of Maxwell Theodore Stanley Kirby!
MTSK
Hullo Max.
Maxwell - he'll be a demon at physics. Congratulations. Hope all are well.
(Bigsmith) I thought that's where you must have got it. Still up, is it? I haven't looked for years.
as per MCiOS
Welcome Max!!
Ex Libri Bardus
Are we done? Does anyone have a good idea with which to replace it?
[SM] Bear in mind there's been an open game slot beneath it for quite some time now. Ideas and energy seem somewhat lacking in the Morniverse lately.
Bent Saws
Don't count your chickens before the fat lady sings.
Unused Games
[Tuj] I was under the impression that there was some sort of inner council that came up with games and were the only ones able to make them. I should add that I don't have any good game ideas with which to replace Ex Libri Bardus, I was just thinking that it was looking a bit threadbare, and that my last few moves in it missed the point so widely that the sooner they were hidden in the archive the better. I don't know what I was thinking when I made them (he said in his best "Kryten" voice).
Bent Saws
[Software] That sounds like something Marlon from The Perishers would say. I like it.
I've done the honours for Ex Libri.
Max
Cheers for the good wishes, folks - pictures are up on my Facebook!
Mad Max
[Uncle Korky] Congratulations and felicitations to all. I haven't gone a-facebooking as a picture does not always tell a thousand words. The question, therefore, is, "is he smart?"
Bent Saws
Where there's muck, there's hope. Let's have a go. [UK] Congratulations to you on the arrival of Maxwell. A silver hammer is in the post.
Bent Saws
A jolly good idea and I like the game name too. Let lightning strike while the iron's hot.
Bent Saws
Raak, I loved your "bank" saw. It's (not) funny because it's true.
Sponsored silence
OK, it's been silent for a week... someone say something!
oblig.
something
Not that I'm proposing any changes, but I wonder if games would become more or less active if they weren't stamped with the date and time of the last move. Less active is my guess.
Max
[Dujon] Can't vouch for smart, yet, but I'd like to think there's potential! [Kim] Ta muchly!
ONe week later
Bright and cold here (can also be said for me as well as the weather) and today I am going to take to the road. Enough of nerves, I've just got to drive. But after 25 years of driving on the other side of the road, and the other side of the car, it's all a bit weird.
Left Hooker
Hi pen, hold your breath and prepare for a few rapped knuckles on you left hand! You'll get used to it quicker than you think. Just watch out for those nasty entry/exit points that the Clogs like so much, you find yourself merging with traffic entering the motorway as you are trying to leave. Very unnerving the first time.
The bit that un-nerves me is the crossroads with no marked priority here in the village - like a US 4-way stop. I struggle to use those to turn left across oncoming traffic and end up lurching about.
Technical writing test
Changing the subject just a little, I've got a job interview tomorrow for a tech writer role. And they've given me a little test document to polish. It contains a clever twist on bad documentation technique I've not seen before: 'Note how Figure 1 does not show the following....'

I just love that. Specially creating a diagram that doesn't show the thing you want to highlight. Hats off to 'em. I'm just hoping this document was intentionally altered to make a harder test. But in these cases there's always the risk that a legitimate document really was genuinely that badly-written. Still, if so, at least I'll have plenty of rewriting work to do.

This page was NOT intentionally left blank, comes to mind :o).
This Page Intentionally Blank
[Software] TPILB has a very good pedigree. It was used extensively in the 1970s when replacement pages for technical manuals had only half the content of the original, resulting in one blank side right where everyone had hitherto been used to finding text. It was a way of avoiding the (then) expensive customer service calls about non-existent missing text that went nowhere. It also meant that the original contents page would still work, mostly, as the page numbering wasn't screwed up by the change. The only alternative would be to reprint the entire chapter from the change onward which would likely prove to be prohibitively expensive. These days, one often sees such material reproduced either electronically, which makes no sense, or on single-sided copies of the original material, which makes sense but is still odd when you come across it.
Tech Speak
[SM] I know, I'm an engineer and at one point in my distant past was responsible for the printing and distribution of technical manual updates (on a subcontract). It still bemuses the uninitiated though.
You Tech the High Road
Ah! Reminds me when I was a technical author myself. I can still take a 20-year-old New World gas cooker to pieces... Just don't ask me to put it together again when I've drawn the pictures.
[Software] Sorry for lecturing the knowledgable.
I think it's spring.
[penelope] Are you loving Holland? Are the tulips growing yet? Have you been overrun by clog-wearing mice?
[SM] Starting to withstand/endure/cope with Holland rather than like it or love it. Still not quite sure what I'm doing here... The tulips are just poking their leaves through in the garden (we're further south than the main tulip-growing areas - there are mostly pear and apple orchards and celeriac fields here), and there are precious few mice, or even rabbits. Apparently the water table is too high for them to dig warrens. But there are lots of hares, herons, some large bird of prey that I have yet to identify, kingfishers (ijsvogels - I've also realised I have a whole new vocabulary of wildlife to learn) and the most interefered-with trees I have ever seen in my life. There is not one tree here that has been allowed to grow accoring to its natural form. Every single tree has been either trimmed, clipped, pollarded, coppiced, brashed or felled. Tree-fiddling is the national obsession.
Clogland
You'll grow to love the place, pen. The south is a bit severe, the Dutch reclaimed most of the land so they do what they like with it. I lived in Nord Holland which is a bit less over-cultivated and the trees are allowed to do tree things, to a degree anyway. I lived in a town called Huizen, my garden used to back on the Ijsselmeer but it is now about 1km away!
[Softers] I take it all back. The invitation to an interview for a promising job which was issued and then witdrawn has been issued again. I'm hopeful once more. More on this later...
Expansionism
[Software] Those Dutch hey? Having given up their world exploits they are now about to invade the Channel by stealth. I shall now make a concerted effort to monitor the Indian and Pacific Oceans; the thought of the whole of Huizen sneaking across to reclaim Van Deimen's Land has my kernees kernocking.
[Dujon] We in Britain have a cunning plan to foil the Dutch takeover by stealth of the North Sea. As they gradually move out to rebuild the land bridge we are simultaneously moving the coast of East Anglia inland. By the time the Dutch catch us up we’ll all be in Dublin.
[penelope] I expect Software is right and that once the fast-relocation shellshock has worn off, the ground turns colours other than brown and you have gainful employment you will wonder why you didn't move years ago.
(INJ) Coastal erosion will see to that anyway, so they say.
Those Darn Dikes
[ImNotJohn] This plan will play merry hell with the old Risk and Diplomacy games. I expect after-market stickers will be available for pre-game coastline reconfiguration.
* waves from Santa Fe *
*twiddles thumbs*
I had an interview yesterday, and did a looong written test today, by email. Now I'm anxiously waiting to hear if I've got a fantastic three-day a week, English speaking/writing job at the university that pays as much as my five-day-a-week not-for-profit job did back in Blighty...
Mmmm. Part-time.
Huisvrouw
I can see you getting used to the lifestyle in Clogland, pen.
Mmmmm....five-day-a-week.
And the rest of the time, I am...
Housework, looking after the windy miller (who does 5 x 12 hour days and all day Saturday at the mill), and some freelance work... Pah!
(pen) 60 hours a week sounds like trubble at mill.
[Rosie] Sounds like a part-time job to me :( *(moan, moan, bleat, whinge etc etc etc ad nauseam until someone points out I chose to do this for a living, and that I get to live in a pub)*
[Phil] Presumably you also have the option to hire someone so that you work fewer hours, but with obvious consequences for your finances.
Welcome to London Heathrow, The World's Most Miserable Airport. I've just been biometrised and hassled at security despite the fact I've been in secure areas for the last twelve hours.
[rab] Yes I could pay someone to some some of the stuff I do. But they wouldn't do it as well as I do. If they did, I wouldn't able to afford them. Also, I enjoy 95% of what I do - especially the quality control :-)
[Phil] I hear you. The windy miller is the same - he takes huge pride in the work that he does (construction project management - and this one is a HUGE project) but being on site to make sure things happen on schedule takes its toll and he's usually too exhausted to do anything on Sunday - which is the only day we have at home together. So much for moving here to spend more time together. Part of my 'job' at the moment is taking care of him, as much as he'll let me. *sigh*
*was in England for three days and thought it was lovely*
* was on Iona and Colonsay for four days and thought they were lovely *
*was in East Grinstead for two hours and thought it was awful*
*is envious of rab*
*was in the Crowne Plaza Buckingham Gate for 2 hours and it was so dull we moved to the Holiday Inn, Oxford Street*
*was at home*
*thought, therefore was*
[CdM] Was what? ;o)
(pen) Cogitavit ergo erat. I dunno.
*just got a phone call telling her she's got the job*
[pen] Congratulations!
*Thought that congratulations were due to Penelope*
*just got a phone call from Job*
belen
Well done.
*Has an idea for a game*
Called "News has come to Harvard": we make up new elements for the periodic table and provide hilarious, surreal or topical explanations of their nature and purpose. Eg:

Excusium: constituent element in whitewash. Frequently used by politicians.

Any support?

rab's phonecall
Is that Job of Old Testament fame?
[Kim] I see! Good title, tidy idea. One on board =)
[Tuj] Thanks. Any against? Where should I slot it?
Luminous silly Kates
(Kim) Go ahead.
Thanks. No slots currently available here or anywhere else. Has "Bent Saws" reached its proverbial, do you think?
Outage
Hello there. I'm going to be taking the site down for a short while for an upgrade.
Outrage
Let's see if that has worked? It seems I've even stopped the galloping slashes this time!
Just saw the Elements game. There is a site that I had bookmarked and only deleted on Friday which is very enjoyable. Apparently now been published as a book - http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm - Molecules with Silly Names. Some of them were featured on QI a few years ago.
jdf397dhf
aaaa525zzz
Shh! It's fallen asleep.
shavonda@hotmail.com
suck all the channel on tv sucks badly
Parse the preceding sentence, thoughtfully provided by someone.
Actually, I think the real problem with TV is that most of the channels suck quite well.
Suck all. The channel on TV sucks badly.
It's the voice from the future. When interactive TV is the norm a lonely politician's husband has to get a 'helping hand' when the signal gets a bit fuzzy.
Suck! All the channel on TV sucks. Badly.

There's usually suck all on TV worth watching anyway.
Speaking of which, ten days without a move suggests that UK GAZETEER FILM CLUB might have outlived its span. Does anyone have a suggestion for another one?
Six word stories?
"Six word stories?" Simons suggested. Silence.

(No, really, I'd be up for that.)

Six word stories
I was about to suggest that
Six Word Stories
How does it go?
You tell a story in six
Damn! Bad planning on my part
With a short preface (say "Story One", and so on) this could be hatched inside the Eight Moves Game, giving it a kick up the jacksy also.
I love the idea of 'Precisely Eight Words' being bent to stories. I may try that, even if it's not an official diversion... Also, I had an idea the other day for a one-line-at-a-time Gilbert & Sullivan play. Ambitious, but not impossible. Thought I'd run it up the flagpole of the collective.
Good news, bad news.
Hello there. The good news is that the company that provides the disk space and bandwidth this site needs to function is upgrading the capacity of both of them this afternoon, at no charge. The bad news is that this necessitates a change of IP address (the server will be moving from Edinburgh to London).

What this means in practice is that after 4pm BST today, some of you will see the old version, and some of you the new. You'll be able to tell the difference, because you won't be able to post to the old one. It typically takes about 24hours, maybe longer, for the process to complete. Restarting your browser/computer/modem may (or may not) help - it depends on where the old IP addresses are being cached.

Don't be perturbed if the site fails to load for a bit.
Back up
Right, this is back up, but you can only get here if you know how to get here.
First!
Er, second, then
In the medals!
*sour*
Yes, you can tell it's London-hosted now. It just feels so much more... familiar.
(Pj) Aye. Mebbe.
[Projoy] A euphemism for contemptuous?
But is it Sarf of the river, in which case no-one will visit it outside the hours of daylight?
It'll soon be wanting a little cottage in the country for weekends though...
I see the spammers have found the film club - perhaps this is indeed a good point to pull the plug on it.
Eight word stories.
If this is proposed as a new game (perhaps to replace the Film Club) then may I suggest a title?
"A man was born; he lived, then died."
A novel in 6 words
If it's going to be eight words, then I'll post my favourite 6-worder here (not mine but can't remember who did write it - though Orson Welles is the name in my head):
For sale: baby shoes, never worn.
[INJ] Hemingway.
Another game idea
Tarol Hunt (of goblinscomic.com) has been writing nonsense Twitters, usually of the form 'If I ...' Some of these are worthy of Jack Handy himself: "If I was stung by a bee, it'd better not be a laser bee because those guys are puuuuuure laser." Can we have a go? "If I was a caveman, I probably wouldn't ever say 'Yabba Dabba Doo' unless I was being deeply ironic."
"If I was going to speak, I'd try to be there to hear it. It'd be a pity to miss one after all these years."
this week...
I can't believe no-one has anything to say for a whole weekend! So this week, I'm going to post something in here every day. Monday: Whit Monday public holiday here in the Netherlands, so I'm accompanying the Windy Miller (a veteran of four well-executed restorations of stationary engines - portable and wheelbarrow-sized sources of farmyard power, some of which are almost 100-years old) to the largest exhibition of stationary engines in the country, in Eindhoven. I will come back smelling of kerosene, a bit sunburnt and a bit sooty. In return, I get a day's outing somewhere cultural. I'm lining up the Vermeer exhibition at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam, and a Tennyson Society thing in England next week.
Eindhoven
[pen] I don't expect that you'll have time to visit the Philips Museum while you are there, but it is worth a shot. No holiday here, that was last week in secular UK. I spent a surprisingly dry and sunny weekend in west Wales, even managed an afternoon on the beach, though the sun failed to hit my Channel Island hardened skin.
Hols
I've been in Scotland for a week, with no access (although I was told that wi-fi at Boat of Garten post office cost 'buttons'). 5 days of mostly showery weather and then a stunning day on Friday, so I left the ladies to go cycling in Abernethy Forest and walked into the heart of the Cairngorms (Loch Avon via the top of Bynack Mor). I now have a nicely-burnt left side to my face - the perils of a circular walk.
Unhols
On the Costa Brava for three days last week, attending a conference held at a hotel on the beach. Wednesday was free, so a colleague and I drove up to see Cadaqués. Came home with a developing cough that took out most of the weekend.
Yet another Game idea - well not really
Some herbert has put something in Carpe Diem - Fish of the Day. It was a good game that ended five years ago and could be worth restarting. Any takers?
[Raak] Not swiney cough, one hopes?
[Rosie] Agree - a cracking game which generated huge chuckleness way back then. I have a hunch that it was the game that spawned Breadmaster's legendary " For pity's sake child ..." and then something about tying down the moons of Jupiter. Anyway, my friend, just thought I'd point out that the same game is currently steaming along in OrangeMC under the title Ubersetzen Sie (add umlaut to first letter) - but if one don't play in there - the information I have imparted is rather irrelevant. :)
(Chalky) Let's continue with it on Orange, then, which frankly I'd forgotten about.
[Chalky] No *cough* fever, so *cough* *cough* hopefu*cough*lly not. *cough* *cough* *cough*
Tuesday's events
Tuesday... hmmm... work. Gridlock traffic getting into and out of Rotterdam, too much good coffee trying to stay awake through meetings, and an hour and a half of ironing when I finally got home. Wednesday? Gridlocked traffic again this morning - a 34km drive took an hour and ten minutes, not enough breakfast (have already made a start on my packed lunch an it's only 09.40) but there's the prospect of a proper English haircut with a proper English hairdresser in England on Saturday morning (it means I can actually ask for the haircut I want, rather than have the one the Dutch dameskappers want to give me) so anything is bearable this week. Even another 3mph crawl home this evening.
Saw Holland (well, bits of it) on the TV last night in an advert. It looked frenetic.

(penelope, Re: Ironing) Can't you just feed the clothes through the millstone?
ironmilling
[SM] Nice idea, but the milling faces of millstones are designed for cutting and shearing the grains, not merely crushing them, so you'd have to piece together the shreds of clothing afterwards. More trouble than it's worth really. The drive home this evening was only 45 minutes - the best time for a week now. Some bits of Holland are frenetic. Luckily, I live in a nice rural bit :o)
freneticism
(pen) I thought the Dutch were sort of stoic.
[Rosie] Yeah, but they drive ruthlessly on the motorways in their Calvinistic rush to be at home being stoic.
Green ironing
What you need is not a grain mill, but an olive press. Of course it would be hard to get the oil stains out afterwards, but you could definitely get a good crease in those underpants. That would have the additional advantage of being drivable by donkey-power, so you could iron on a windless day.
donkeyfarts
[INJ] I don't understand how you can control the donkey's flatulence so accurately.
Donkey Flatulence
(penelope) I think you just have to stop them eating the mashed olives.
* waves from Haifa *
* waves from Rehovot *
mashed olives
All the more for me. *parp* Oh, I beg your pardon.
That small interval has probably cleared the air. Is anyone left standing?
*parp* That's the last one, I promise.
*Has just got the hang of doing that small writing everyone else does, as opposed to this one which isn't quite as small*... Just thought I'd mention.
[Simons Mith] Was Silveo the bloke who fell under a bus whilst wearing clean underpants? ;)
HTML stuff
(Knobbly, and any others) This is still standing, courtesy of Dr Qu+xum at the University of Pittsburgh, and is the fount of all knowledge.
* waves from Aberdeen *
*waves from Hamsey Green*
It's a wonderful little place, full of houses and things.
*waves from West End Live 7 hours ago*
*waves from Zuid Holland*
Flat and slightly rainy this morning, but still very green and pleasant.
* Waves from his office *
Another week begins, nothing particularly pleasant to report.
*Waves from Barking*
...or perhaps he's drowning...
paging Mr Raak, paging Mr Raak
Please proceed to the AVMA game, where a task is waiting for you.
I think CdM broke the tannoy with that announcement. No-one has said anything since.
Quite quiet.
Something for the weekend.
In the tradition of this place, may I announce that I am going to the Derbyshire County Show on Sunday - usually good fun and only 30 minutes' walk away. Tickets already bought, so let's hope the weather holds.
iets voor het weekend
I am doing the usual this weekend; to the mill tomorrow morning, hanging about, drinking coffee, but remarkably there's no laundry to do as I made a sustained affort during the week to get it all out of the way. I have even stowed away the washing line. On Sunday, I'd like to go for a bike ride [destinatioin: ice cream] but it's a bit weather dependent.
phom ja yuu tii meuang thai wan sao wan athit nii
*hanging out in Thailand*
Please take a moment to mourn with me the passing of a true star, a consummate performer, an icon who shot to fame in the 1970's, became a pin-up for a generation and who touched the groins of millions of young boys around the world. Rest in peace, Farrah Fawcett.
(Kim) Was she a tap dancer?
* waves from Bremen *
Very foggy here in Zuid Holland this morning. The splendid view of downtown Rotterdam from my office window is quite obscured.
foggy
[pen] same here and very hot and humid. Promising a nice sunny day later, pity I'm in the office :o(.
Expecting the first thunderstorm (in Nederlands 'onweer' - unweather, like 'onkruid' is un-plant or un-herb, ie a weed) about 4pm this afternoon. I can't wait! It was 22 degrees overnight here, more than I would like to get accustomed to.
muggy
Unpleasant in the Midlands today. 10/10 cloud, humid, occasional spits of rain, but not enough for the plants. It's Mrs INJ's fault, she's going to a barbecue tonight.
humid
Well, a few days ago I was in mid 30s and humid; and now I'm back in Melbourne where it's much the same, except in Fahrenheit.
tithes
(INJ) Ten tenths? When I was in the Met Office in the '60's some of the old farts would occasionally let slip a phrase like that but it's been eighths (oktas) for over 50 years largely because it can be coded as a single digit for transmission. (9 = sky obscured by fog or heavy snow, BTW). Thank You For Making Me Feel Young.
gratitude
Hello, England. Thank you for everything. Love, U.S.A.
Is it fireworks night already even?
Sorry. Cup of tea anyone?
Cordiality
(Juxt) OK. Thanks for giving us jazz. And Tom & Jerry.
(Duj) The only piece of Australiana I have is a home-made boomerang (Specifications in New Scientist 1974.) It's big and doesn't half go but has to be thrown left-handed. They're not symmetrical.
Charlie Drake
[Rosie] I have found that turning them upside down usually helps. Then again I'm no expert any more than I'm a left handed sort of a bloke. Keep in mind, Rosie, that the heavier boomerangs were not designed to return but to stay in the air long enough to knock the noggins of the target.
* Waves from Ambleside *
[rab] Didn't realize the lakes were so stormy ;o)
*Hail to you all from Surrey*
Not too nice down here either. (Softers) Good science.
Zero degrees here. *throws snowball at morniverse*
(CdM) Where are you at the moment?
[Rosie] -37.15; 146.43
*sends birthday cake to Zuid Holland*
*receives grease-stained envelope containing strange hard lump in the post* ;o)
* blows candle out before putting in envelope addresses to Zuid Holland*
Coordinates
(CdM) Not surprised it's snowy up Mount Buller. An assumption, of course, because you have quite unforgivably omitted the ρ-coordinate, which I take to be 6378137 + 1805 m. Greetings, anyway, from 51.32; -0.06, 6378306 m.
The what now?
So "on the surface of the earth" is not the default, then. :-)
3-dimensionality and further pedantry
(CdM) Yeah, OK. Equally, I have committed the unpardonable sin of assuming the earth's radius is constant at all latitudes, which is not true. The polar radius is 21.4 km less than the equatorial radius. It's uphill to the equator.
was in Newcastle but isn't any more.
[Knobbly] Ditto
*waves from a day off - at long last*
*was in Snowdonia but has now returned home*
*belated wave from Llanberis*
* Future wave from Wiltshire *
I'll be off line for a week.
[Phil] Isn't that odd? I was there to sing in a concert in The Sage. I don't suppose you were too...
[Knobbly] Alas, The Sage wasn't built when I was there. I left in 1977 :-(
[Phil] Ah... I got the wrong end of the thingummy.
[Knobbly] ...which I deliberately proffered to you. Apols for a cheap stunt :-)
(Phil) Cunning, too.
*waves from Strasbourg*
* waves from Stroud *
cross-posted
Impromptu mini-virtual pilg in the MCiOS chat room a little while ago was greatly enjoyed by flerdle, nfras, Néa, nat and, briefly, Phil. These last two days I seem to have been able to "stay alive" in there for hours at a time (not zombie-ify like it used to - losing the connection somehow), so why not drop in, hang around for a while and see who turns up?

nfras mentioned that monday and thursday evenings (our times - about 11am UK time in summer) are likely for him, and I can try that too. UK nights, late, might be a possibility in the winter. Doesn't have to be formal, or lots of people. Suggest-o-matic!

[flerdle] Was that a specific invitation to nights and me? :-)
You probly think this song is about you...
[Uncle Korky] The more the merrier! :-)
[UK] First time I read "UK" in flerdle's post I thought of you rather than the country I'm in - the rampant effect of context I assume!
[Tuj] Similarly, I wondered what flerdle might want with me late, possibly in the winter. Moving swiftly along.
It seems MCiOS is down.
[Rosie] It was probably asleep like everyone else at that time of night ;o)
I went to MC5 today; it was shut.
It's up but I rarely go there anyway.
Is everyone on holiday? Everyone here in NL is on hols - there's no traffic on the motorways and I can leave home for work 20 minutes later than normal. But the weather here has been lovely (if a little hot at times) and the mosquito population is thriving in the dykes :o(
Factory holidays, love 'em. When I lived in Hilversum it was the same. I was required to take only 2 weeks during July/August which meant that trips to the coast were really easy on the weekends.
Back at work
Well - I've been on holiday for 11 days, but nothing's changed. Can I go away again?
[INJ] If when you come back your desk is still there, then it's a result. Quit complaining.
Yes, but
[Softers] I was borrowing a desk when I went on holiday. I came back to find everyone else had moved to a different building, but my monitor and docking station hadn't been moved. I don't know if that's a result or not - given that something usually gets lost if you let 'facilities' move it for you.
And furthermore
(Softers) I always regard it as a result if on returning to my car after the pub I find it is still there. On only one occasion has this not been the case and it was recovered about 6 hours later with a seriously damaged steering lock.
[INJ] That little remark is a great example of life mimicking art - have you seen the film 'Office Space'? Just beware when your desk is moved to the basement.
Or the men's room.
pssst... anyone here?
Not me...
...busy listening to the cricket.
Ah, it's finished now. I'm here then. Anyone else?
I am but I'm just about to go out for a summer evening walk. And maybe a beer on the way back.
Back now. What have I missed?
*Waves from Thun*
[Kim] Don't fall off any Alps.

I haven't been abroad for years and years. Which is green of me, I suppose, but dull.

lPTVUPFN
Hi! RjdBkz
Just back from the North York Moors - staying in a cottage belonging to friends. End of a multiply-gated track a mile from the road, no phone, no TV, nearest pub or shops half an hour away. No choice but to relax.
*down from alps*
This is just to say that, if anyone has any new game ideas, I am not averse to the closure of the Harvard game. A month has passed since any new elements were discovered there. Some clever person might come up with an element that incorporates the winning move.
New Game
"Late For The Ball"? I always enjoyed that on "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".
North York Moors
[ImNotJohn] Batteries went dead in the old PPS then?
Can I just say that the Tesco's 'Three Bean Salad' represents excellent value for money? The one I just ate contained more like two hundred beans in it rather than just three.
Whereas I just had Thousand Island dressing on my salad and there wasn't a single island in it as far as I could tell.
[SMs] Skim-reading I thought Sierra Mike had quadruple-posted! But you both made me smile.
Server issues
Hello there. I'm occasionally finding that this site doesn't load - I get a 'cannot connect to the website' message (or 'connection refused'), despite the fact that as far as I know, the server is running properly at the remote end. This has happened to me from two different networks, so I'd be interested to know if anyone else is experiencing this before I investigate further. It's quite sporadic, so you may not notice anything amiss.
Connection refused
I'm seeing it. About 15% of the time, at a guess.
Me too.
Right - that points to some kind of server problem.
I've seen it as well, in the last week.
Me too, occasionally, recently.
Support tell me it should now be fixed. Let me know if it happens again.
No problem this morning. I'm here, aren't I?
Not bitter
I've got a bottle of Angostura bitters. With roughly four dashes used so far, which leaves about a millennium's supply remaining. Does anyone actually use this stuff?? If so, what for? And how often? I'm wondering if Mr Angostura and company have a real racket going here, or if they're actually doing themselves a disservice by selling their customers centuries worth of their product in a single hit. Perhaps their sales would be better if they sold it in the same size bottle as, say, Tabasco or something. Just idle speculation as the chat here seems otherwise quiet…
(SM) It's like pepper. Get a jar of it and it lasts for ever. I had a girlfriend who was very keen on the said bitters whereas I preferred bitter. I had a sip of her drink once - it was vile.
[SM] Have you got a bottle of gin handy? Add a couple of dashes to a G & T and you get pink gin. Used to be very popular in the '60s when I used to work behind a bar.
Pink gin
Gin could be arranged, although it's not something I normally drink. But plainly I could buy a couple of crates of gin and the bitters would still outlast them. And a bottle of gin would lakst me 3-6 months. Y'know, I was viewing using up this bottle of bitters as a challenge, but unless I really go for it, which is sort of cheating, I don't think I'm going to manage it in my remaining lifespan.
Pink gin and water is also nice. 2 or 3 drops added to a ginger beer is one of my favourite very, very low alcohol drinks. Oh, and one of the several versions of rock shandy is 50/50 ginger ale and soda water, with a few drops of bitters.
A bit of searching and I've found culinary uses at this site
Bitters added to lemonade cuts some of the sweetness and makes a nice summer garden drink.
gin clear
Is it any good for cleaning shower heads?
[pen] Only if it can dissolve the dead spiders.
That 'Shakespeare in Crescent' game we've just had brought to our notice was pretty good. We must do that again.
[Simons Mith] When I was a student, one of the drinks of choice at the time was a long vodka which consisted of a few drops of bitters smeared round a highball glass, ice, a shot of vodka, a dash of lime and topped up with soda water. A bit girly but very drinkable.
Poncy booze
(nfras) How does that help achieve the main objective of student drinking which is to get pissed as quickly and cheaply as possible, then as now?
[INJ] I'll second anything in iambic pentameter!
[Rosie] Well, it's a cheap drink. No charge for bitters or soda, normally. When my dad was in the Royal Navy, it was traditional for midshipmen, and some other low-ranking officers, to drink pink gin, as all you paid for was the gin - hence it was the cheapest drink in the Officers' Mess - because midshipmen were so lowly paid.
(Phil) Didn't they have grog? Maybe not often enough. When I was a student we only drank spirits if we were deliberately trying to get as pissed as possible because in those days a shot of spirits was nearly twice the price of a pint of beer. In today's money I'd estimate the prices as £2 and £3.50.
When I was at Uni (mid-late 90s) my University Union used to do a happy hour. 50p a pint (the usual price at the time in a pub was £1-£1.25 depending on the brand). At about quarter to seven you'd see the bar packed with students buying 4 or 6 pints at a time. They would take them back to their table and drink them over the next couple of hours. You might think that the beer tasted awful after sitting in a glass for over an hour, and you'd be right. But it was cheap.
[Rosie] Yes, they did have rum until July 1970 (one eighth of a pint per day), which I think was issued as two-water grog (watered-down 2 parts water to 1 part rum). Pusser's Rum has been made since about 1980 to the old Admiralty recipe and a donation goes to the Royal Navy Sailor's Fund from every bottle sold. I have some of the blue label, bottled at 54%abv, and it's quite a fierce nip if you don't water it down at all.
However, when the officers gathered for a social in their mess, the poor midshipmen (officer cadets, essentially) would have to join in, and behave like an officer, while on a phenomenally meagre wage, hence the most popular cheap, "sophisticated" drink for them (i.e. not neat spirits or beer) was pink gin.
Naval drinks
[Phil] You may have just enlightened me. I've heard my father (who was in the Navy), talk about 'Pussers Kai'. I thought, in the context, it was cocoa with a slug of rum. This now looks likely and a quick google supports that. However this was a long time before 1980.
According to a relative, the grog ration, at least for the CPOs, was issued as a mess bar credit in the 60s and 70s.
"Mug of Kye, Sir?"
[INJ] Ah, Kye (the spelling I've grown up with)! I've found some web sites that describe it as thick cocoa made with condensed milk, but according to my RN dad, it was cocoa made with water and no milk at all. As he's a hardy soul, that's still how my dad makes cocoa. It takes some getting used to, but it's OK.
Did the disappearance from the Tube Map of the River Thames pass unnoticed within the Morningverse?
[Kim] Why do you think it was re-instated so quickly? Of course Boris took the credit, but we have our people in the right places.
It is believed that the disappearance was as as a result of a misfiled email from one of CAMREC's more obscure sub-committees which was looking at the possible effects of global warming on the great game. That, together with an excess of zeal in the TfL publications department caused this somewhat embarrassing episode.
No long-term harm done, although there has been an official protest against the result of the Harlesden MCC vs Leytonstone Strilers 3rd Division top of the table clash on Tuesday evening. Rodney (Bridges Up!) Spurlington, lost his board 3 clash against the up-and-coming Shane Clotswold and blamed it on an inability to use the tactic which earned him his nickname. This one could run and run.
CAMREC?
I googled CAMREC but nothing I got there deciphered the acronym in a meaningful context (which I assume is involved with games of Mornington Crescent). Could someone let me in on what it stands for? I very rarely get to listen to I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, so if I'm asking about something well-known I apologise for not having the faintest. Thanks.
What is CAMREC
[SM] You need the Encylopaedia Morningtonia
*waves from Vancouver*. Where I have been talking about eggs. As one does.
[CdM] Olé
Or, to steal a prior joke of Dan's, perhaps that should have been *huevos from Vancouver*
(CdM) Can't follow that. Nor, it seems, can anyone else as it has now been a week.
To be fair, Rosie, I've been away!! I feels sometimes I chitter incessantly on here...
I was thinking of a new game: Wizards' Duel. You have two teams of wizards. In order to make a move you must change shape into a creature or thing that beats, defeats or otherwise trumps whetever the other side has just changed into. So you might get a sequence like

Wizards: Elephant
Witches: Mouse
Wizards: Cat
Witches: Dog
Wizards: B - A - T - H
Witches: Telephone

at which point I have to admit I'm stumped so presumably the witches win that round. We'd have to kill off news Has Come to Harvard, but I believe that game's only hanging on while we await a replacement anyway.

[SM] Done.
[pen] Anywhere nice/interesting?
Normandie sur mer
[Softers] Down the coast - eating our way around Normandy! Marvellous thank you - perfect weather too.
[pen] Watch out for those dodgy moules ;o)
Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like seafood? I love fish, but if it comes out of the sea it's got to have a backbone if I'm going to eat it. The windy miller is the same. I wish I did like seafood, because so many other people seem to enjoy it so much.
[pen] My reaction to mussels is a reboot of the digestive system from both ends. Fish that looks like fish is fine, and prawns and shrimps are ok, but I'm wary of anything else from the sea. I wonder what these are like to eat?
[pen] Shame, the French love their moule et frites and it is standard fare everywhere.
Marine mouthfuls
(pen, Raak) With you on that. I'd rather eat Co-op Fish Fingers, let alone the real thing, than fancy stuff you have to pick at. What other people like doesn't bother me; I'm not a social eater, or a particularly elegant one.
Something fishy
[Raak & penelope & Software] I have tried eating (or swallowing) oysters but, regrettably, have yet to manage ingesting one. The same applies to asparagus. I suspect that it's something to do with the smell of them but have no solid evidence to support the hypothesis.
[Rosie] Whilst I do like fish meals, at least the ones I cook myself, I find they become cold long before I've managed to scoff the lot. When it comes to fine-boned fish I tend to your approach as it really is, unless one is starving, not worth the effort.
[All] Don't get me started on calamari. Maybe it is my aging teeth or the manner in which the samples to which I have been subjected have been cooked, but I'd rather try to eat a standard primary school 'rubber'.
Swimmingly
[Duj] Ditto calamari. It's just fried rubber bands, innit? And Aspragus... anything that makes your wee smell so bad can't be good for you, can it? Sadly, the Dutch here go a bundle over it, and I have to eat it to be polite. What's worse, they like the fat, white ones that have lived in the dark (like forced rhubarb), which are bigger than the small green shoots you get in Engeland.
Rhubarb, on the other hand, treated the proper way (plenty of sugar, and paired with either ginger or strawberries) is yummy. Fooled, crumbled or just stewed.
Stinky wee
[pen] Asparagus does have that strange effect but it is delicious. But I am with you all the way with rhubarb as long as there is cream, ice cream (the Belgian/Dutch way) or custard.
I have eaten plenty of asparagus, but I don't sniff my wee, so I've never noticed the oft-claimed effect.
Calamari (or squid, if we're not going to be all precious about it) is blummin' gorgeous in my opinion. Deep fried in a light batter (50/50 self-rasing and cornflour), it should be light and lovely. If it's rubbery it has been over-cooked.
I've had oysters, but I'm not as impressed as I thought I ought to be. Sweetbreads though are another contentious foodstuff that I love.
I have seen oysters eaten, whole and raw. That's quite enough for me.
Oysters
Are overrated in my opinion. Back in the 19th century they were poor peoples food.
I'm with Phil on this. Asparagus - delicious when fresh and in season (and the after-odour isn't that unpleasant or strong IMO). Calamari - rubbery = overcooked, properly cooked and fresh they almost melt and taste lovely. Oysters - nice - taste of the sea - but too expensive for what they are. In fact I like most molluscs and crustacea (though it's hard to do much with whelks).
We need to take some lessons from the chinese - Sour is as good a flavour as sweet and slimy is as good a mouth sensation as crunchy - just different.
[INJ] Have you tried sour beers (i.e. Belgian Lambics)? Fantastic once you eradicate the "beer shouldn't be sour" conditioning from your head.
Aerial oxidation
(Phil) How does that differ in principle from eradicating the "butter shouldn't be rancid" conditioning from your head? Sour beer tastes awful, like vinegar, which is what it is, at least partly.
[Rosie] Start with something like Hoegarden which is a wheat beer and has a slightly sour note. It's made with a sort of wheat porridge that gives it a great cloudy appearance and the orange and cardamon notes give it a spicy aroma. Once you have developed a taste for that the leap to things like the Lambics is not so great.
[Phil et al] I am rather partial to Franziskaner on a warm day. This is a wheat beer with an interesting smoky flavour. In fact around Munich there are many microbreweries that offer similar smoky beers.
Purveyors of sour beer
[Phil] I don't think I've tried Lambics. I've had plenty of wheat beers, including Hoegaarden and don't mind the slight sour edge to them. Whether I'd like anything further down that line will have to be determined by experiment.
BTW if you're ever in Derby you might like to visit what used to be a fairly unpleasant and run-down pub called 'The Royal Standard', now taken over by CAMRA and revived as The Brewery Tap. At quiet times they do a 'tasting tray' consisting of 3 or 4 different beers - about 1/3 pint of each.
On which thought, will you be serving in 2/3 pint measures?
[Rosie] Think of sour sweets, like fizzy-cola-bottle-type things. Or a really crisp granny smith apple. That sort of sour, not vinegar. I have a few bottles of Mort Subite Gueuze (which is a fairly easy entry point to the world of lambics) lying around, and may have one with my dinner tonight, now that my mind is on the subject.
[Software] Have you ever tried the Bamberg-brewed Schlenkerla Rauchbier. "Smoky" would be a massive understatement for it. Again, a shocking flavour and aroma at first, but it is truly wonderful once you get past that.
[CdM] A pub run by CAMRA? I shudder to think. It reminds me of the car that Homer Simpson designed.
More seriously, I hope their tasting tray is exactly a third of a pint of each (unlike the glasses CAMRA provided at the Derby beer festival, and at least one other I know of, where the third-pint line was at 0.3pints, instead of 0.33pints, meaning CAMRA themselves were selling 10% short measures). And I shan't be bothering with stocking 2/3pt glasses, if the legislation ever comes in. I don't do 1/3pt at present anyway, but 2/3 just seems silly to me.
(Phil) Aye, mebbe. I've had sour beer once or twice, the difference being it had gone off as opposed to being deliberately sour.
[Phil] I've not tried the Bamberg but it sounds interesting. Why does the government not grasp the bull by the horns and dump all imperial measures for good and just get on with what was started half-heartedly 40 years ago.
[Software] If we abandon the pint, what measures would you permit, or would you allow any size measure to be used?
[Phil] 25cl, 33cl, 50cl 1l
Hello again everybody. Turns out that I'd totally forgotten how to operate a keyboard. How are we all?
[INJ] I can appreciate your thinking, although I think a litre is a bit big for responsible consumption of draught beer. I don't want the law to change for a few reasons. One of which is that I seem resistant to change in general and I "like" pints. Also, I'll (probably) have to re-stock all my beer glasses, which could cost me over 500 quid.
It's currently a little frustrating that I can't sell a pint or half-pint of lemonade. I can sell a "large" or "small" lemonade, in pint and half-pint glasses. Or I can sell "568ml" or "284ml" in the same glasses. As far as I know, only beer, cider and milk can be legally be sold in pints in the UK, although there is no such restriction throughout the rest of Europe, where it is perfectly legal to use Imperial measures for anything.
Curiously "shandy and any other beverage of which beer is a constituent part" counts as beer for the Weights and Measures (Beer and Cider) Act 1998. So anything with a bit of draught beer in it, should be served in thirds or multiples of halves. How odd. I have in mind things like the Irish method of serving a Black Russian (with a Guinness head on it). Sorry, I've started thinking out loud now.
How rude
[nights] Hi ! :-)
[Phil] I did not say abandon the pint glass in pubs, the continentals do use them but you never actually get a pint in them - they do like their froth. What I was alluding to was the indecision of whether we are a metric or imperial nation. At the moment it is a=half cocked with some things sold in imperial and some in metric (metric martyrs in the marketplace for example). There needs to be clear leadership. As for selling liquids in taverns the UK still has a half-cocked approach. Spirits are metric; beer is imperial. While I agree that spirits should be sold in standard sizes (many continentals have a relaxed view on what constitutes a measure) I think that draught beer could be sold in whatever size glass that the licensee chooses - provided that it is priced accordingly and clearly stated.
Softers) Uniformity of units is not necessary except to the tidy-minded. All you need to know is what you're getting and for all users to be familiar with those units. A pub that sold beer in metric units would very likely lose a lot of customers. If it is not necessary to change it is necessary not to change. A pint glass of whatever style is a very familiar object (shut up at the back). This keeps people happier except for the aforesaid tidy-minded commitee members and they are very few in number. Actually we should use cubic attoparsecs (19.34 to the pint).
I've written about this before, but beer sizes in Australia are weird and wonderful.
In Melbourne the standard drink is a pot, which is 285ml. In Sydney this same measure is called a middy, in Hobart a ten and in Darwin a handle, while in Adelaide it is called a schooner (or even an up-sized schooner as the old schooner was 255ml or 9 fl oz), however, asking for a schooner in any other city will get you 425ml. If you want 425ml in Adelaide you will need to ask for a pint, but if you ask for a pint in any other city you get 570ml. To get this size of drink in Adelaide you need to ask for an Imperial Pint. In Darwin and north Queensland (where men are men and sheep are worried) you also get a 7, which is 200ml (probably because a small measure of beer stays cold, while a big beer goes warm over time - not because they like drinking girl sizes).
It makes travelling in Australia more adventurous.
Physics
(nfras) How can a small measure stay colder for longer than a large one? It doesn't; you drink it quicker. The small Queensland measures wouldn't go down too well in Carshalton (London Borough of Sutton) where not only are men men but women are as well.
[Rosie] He didn't say it stays colder for longer. He said it "stays cold" -- presumably for the period while you're drinking it. And there's no assumption that you drink it quicker; you drink it at the same rate :-) </outpedanting>
Blinks
[Phil] Is it really true that our friends on the continent can use imperial measures? I'd not heard that before, but I can believe it on the general observation that UK governments tend to believe that they must follow EU rules, whereas other European governments (notably France and Germany) know that nothing bad will happen if they don't.
I saw the moons of Jupiter last night, and very nice they were too - four of them, strung out in a line... didn't appear to be tied down at all...
[rab] It is UK legislation that has specifically outlawed imperial measures. There is no specific EU legislation to the same effect. So it is not the case that France and Germany et al have not applied EU legislation to the same extent as the UK, but that we have created extra legislation to deal with our own indecision.
This is what I have been told by someone I believe. I await correction though :-)
Pint
[Rosie] It would make no difference if beer were sold in either provided they were uniform and priced pro rata. Anyway, it would give unscrupulous barmen/maids the opportunity to short measure even more. [Phil/Rosie] my rant was about the indecision of government to go properly metric. Selling beer is pretty small beer (if you excuse the pun) it is the other nonsense that gets to me. Supermarket solids packaged in metric, liquid sold in imperial; Petrol sold in litres; building standards metric, distances measured in miles; temperature still given in Fahrenheit as well as Centigrade; metric taught at school and public weighing machines in imperial (my son was taught metric at school and does not understand pounds and ounces); the list of confusion goes on.
Furlong/elephant/fortnight
(Softers) Internally, railways still use chains and I don't mean the bit joining old loose-coupled goods wagons. I think we should remain Imperial because the words are part of the language and culture. Sixteen tonnes and what do you get? Deserved mockery.
[Software] Deep down, I know that standardisation is right, but I just simply love old Imperial measures (and coinage). A friend of mine who runs a flower wholesale outlet spent an entire day last week quoting all prices in old money, for fun. He didn't restrict himself to pounds, shillings and pence, oh no...tanners, florins, guineas, crowns, half-crowns and farthings were all brought into play. It made his day go by much faster.
There's a wonderful list of unusual units of measurement at one of my favourite websites, Phrontistery, which includes the dalton, the darcy, the footlambert and the face-cord. For sheer frivolity, I try to incorporate some of the words from that site into conversation, so I think it's quite easy to see why I want to cling on to Imperial measures.
The sins of omission
(Phil) What about the threepenny bit, everyone's favourite coin in those days? There's even a building named after it.
My thrupence-worth
My infant school, which was attached to the junior school I also attended (built in the 60s, I think) had a hall shaped like a 'thrupenny bit' and was known locally, for a time as 'The Thrupenny Bit School' to differentiate it from the junior school buildings, although there's no reference to it on Google, as far as I can find. It was Lacey Gardens Infant School, if anyone is interested...
[Rosie/Phil] Despite over two centuries of metrication the French still use old measures if you are worried about their eradication from the culture. They often use puce for inch, livre for pound (weight) and of course the demi for a half (pint).
[Software] Indeed, on a few occasions in France I've forgotten about that and have asked for a demi when I wanted a half-litre of beer.
(Softers) I know. Did you mean pouce? :-)
[Rosie] Oui.
Threp'ny Bit
[penelope] A pre WWII threepenny bit, or a post-blackout one?
Dodecagons
(SM) Few people, even of my age, have seen the silver threepenny bit. I was once given one as change by a bus conductor about 1953 but had to spend it to get home, or walk two miles. I have found another one (1920) in my heap of old coins. They're tiddlers, 5/8" across. The chunky version was around in 1940, as I have one, and two more from the sixties. They're nice. Equivalent in the fifties to about 30p in today's money.
Ag 3d
My mum used to have a few for sprinkling in the Christmas pud; although I can't remember ever seeing them in circulation. Here in the Channel Islands we had our own 3d bits. In Guernsey they were nickel silver with a scalloped edge and in Jersey they were round. The latter reason was why we never had 3d slots on our pay-on-answer paypghones.
Another broken tooth
I can just recall the silver threepenny bit in the Christmas pudding, but I think they'd all been lost by my adolescence. I don't know about the buying power of the dodecagonal version, but I can remember being able to buy a poke of chips for 3d around 1960.
In my young days...
In 1960, 3d was the standard child fare on an Edinburgh bus, 6d for adults. I remember my grandmother once showed me a silver thruppence, but I don't remember what it looked like. But here's a site with more info.
Boose fare? Ye 'ad boose fare?
I'm pretty sure I remember seeing a silver 1.25p piece when I was very young, but I don't think we still had them for the Christmas pudding. I expect INJ had eaten them all.
CdM, you just made milk come out of my nose. I wouldn't have minded so much, but some of the cornflakes I was eating as I read took the same route.
[SM] I'm re-assured that you were eating cornflakes at the time. I'd be worried if this was a phenomenon that could occur spontaneously.
*wanders out into the back garden with a book and a drink*
Finally, we are getting some warm weather. Well, warmish: 21°. Yay sun.
Autumnal evening classes...
My first Dutch lesson tonight, with a new teacher. This batch should be more effective than the first lot, which I did when I was still in England and not hearing Dutch every day.
(pen) How are your gghhhutterals?
gggghhhastly
[Rosie] Loosening up nicely. All I need really is a heavy cold.
A propos something else, I think I just persuaded the global director of Shell to stand in front of my video camera and give me his opinion on ethical management. My job amazes me sometimes.
(pen) Do they give you a Welsh primer? If you can pronounce Machynlleth correctly you will have problem with any language anywhere in the known Universe, except possibly Xhosa and Scouse.
Cockup
"problem" = "no problem"
prrrroblems
[Rosie] The trouble with Machynlleth (with the lisping 'L' like Sister Wendy's, is that right?) is there is no R in it. In Dutch, the Gs are gagging, as are the aitches, the Rs are rolled, the emphasis comes just about every other syllable and there are usually at least five syllables per word. Nouns like 'verzekering' (insurance, with the emphasis on the 'zek', pron. 'zay') are compounded from all kinds of words mulched together. It all takes an awful lot of effort for a poor Anglo-Saxon speaking accustomed to putting together one syllable at a time.
cok op
speaking = speaker, toch?
Gegokoop
[pen] When I worked in Hilversum my team leader used to speak Dutch with a Cockney accent. He got by, though - even married a nice Dutch lady.
(pen) Maybe Welsh not the best idea, then, though the gutturals are splendid. Try chwech ( = six). Vowel is "ä." The Welsh "r" and the breathy unvoiced "rh" are rolled but too short and front-of mouth for Dutch, if my hearing is correct. Isn't the Dutch "v" often pronounced "f"? In Welsh the "f" is always pronounced "v". Not much help there, then.
Couldn't hear any double-L in Sister Wendy's speech. It's a non-plosive hiss from the sides of the tongue about halfway back ("voiceless lateral fricative" apparently). Don't spoil it by following it with an ordinary "L". Dead easy. :-)
*wipes keyboard with damp cloth*
Blimey!
This old place still exists. Horrah!
Hail Boolbar!
[Boolbar] Horrah! You're back!
...as you once said yourself!
Sailing
I'm sailing over to the UK on Sunday night - hurrah! I love sleeping on ships.
Rotterdam-Harwich? Hope its not rough ;o)
[Softers] Rotterdam-Hull. Some parts of Hull are very rough indeed, but I shall keep the car doors locked when I disembark ;o)
enough silence
I know it was a terrible joke, but three days of silent protest is enough. I'm sorry, OK?
Forgiven
Not your fault I sure, pen ;o)
hasn't thought of anything witty and amusing to add to any games recently.
*waves from England, for a change*
Had a surprisingly calm North Sea crossing last night, despite driving to the port in gales and lashing rain. The geordies complaining this morning that 'the curtains were moving' made me giggle though.
[Knobbly] I know the feeling!
[pen] Welcome back! Hope we've managed to keep it much as you left it.
Calm Nordsee Crossing?
[pen] Shurely an oxymoron?
Meteorological orthodoxy
(Softers) Can happen, like a dry day in Blaenau Ffestiniog.
Timing
ticker ticker Timex
[Rab] Good, bad or indifferent?
Time
Aren't all the electronics made in the same place now anyway?
[rab] What's the secret of good comedy?
[CdM] Is this a reverse chat game now?
I was wondering earlier what a game of Reverse Reverse MC would look like. Any thoughts?
Anybody got any new game ideas? Tuj?
[Raak] Good to see you back. i was just thinking today that you hadn't posted for a while (whether that "while" is a few days or longer I didn't check, but I was aware that you were missing...).
[CdM] That's odd, I haven't been away much, although by chance I might not have posted on mc5 for a few days.
[CdM] Nearly as good as your waiting for T comment on the MCiOS chat =D
Which reminds me
Not that anyone will will notice... but there will be a brief outage on Thursday night when the Powers That Be perform a memory upgrade ('bout 9ish or thereabouts).
[Raak] Ah well. I guess your contributions are just always so good that even a few days absence is noteworthy!
game idea?
I'd always wanted to try Cheddar Gorge Haiku... perhaps too similar to what we've got going now. I also thought it'd be good fun to write a play one line / stage direction / light cue at a time.
Obviously still too new... What does Simons Mith mean in the limerick game by 'see comments'? Where do I look for comments?
[Knobbly] If you do 'view source', however that works on your particular browser, nested in amongst all the HTML muck you'll see a hidden line 4 and line 5 that occurred to me. Why I didn't use the HIDE tags is beyond me. I must have thought we were temporarily back in 1998 or something.
backetry
Back. Ferry apparently headed back towards the English coast in the middle of the night so some poor chap with fits could be helicoptered orf. After all the fuss was over, I got up at 6am and went out on deck with a huge cup of tea and a piece of my mum's neighbour's best fruitcake for breakfast expecting to see the lights on Rotterdam and we were still in the middle of the black North Sea. Quelle disappointment. However, all was well. The customs people didn't object to the vintage stationary engine I had stashed in the boot, and the trousers I bought for the windy miller fit like a charm.
Trousers
[penelope] You bribed the customs officers with trousers?
This weekend I will be mostly...
we're leaving the mill on Saturday lunchtime and heading back to Blighty via Dover for a wedding near Bath on Sunday. And then dashing back to NL. This time, the windy miller is coming with me - hurrah!
Huwelijk
Dat is groot. Veilige reis!
OzjYFXdF
Hi! crEgCiaE
Great, now we've got Klingons as well as Dutchmen.
So we have double dutch?
I believe Klingon is actually a 70-30 mix of Polish and 133t-sp33k
Gormless old git
(SM) Can't figure out what 133t-sp33k is. Something to do with teaspoons, 133 of them?
[Rosie] Something along those lines. And good afternoon everybody.
It's a count of the average number of grains of demerara sugar. 133 teaspoons hold 33,000. Obvious really.
That's a mere 225 grains per teaspoon, which doesn't seem quite enough. It all depends on de size of dem grains. Is there an EU standard?
It's a level teaspoonful.
That means about 22 mg per grain, which is probably about right. If it were cyanide or nicotine you be approximately 50% dead.
[Rosie] Interesting coincidence, work today has had a similar effect on me.
*waved from Palma de Mallorca, message delayed in transmission*
It was surprisingly nice there.
I hestitate to mention it...
... but here in sunny Strasbourg, Christmas is upon us, with the opening of the annual Christmas markets. How are things looking elsewhere in the Morniverse?
Bah humbug... or pepernoten
Here in the Netherlands, Sintaklaas (December 5) is more important than Christmas. His arrival from Spain, as documented on national TV, was dogged by bad weather, but he is already out and about with his blacked-out moorish assistants, strangely all called Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) and gathering information about how good the children have been. Children leave their shoes out overnight in the hope of having them filled with sweets (snoepjes) if they've been good, and a lump of coal is they haven't. Traditional sweets are particular to Dutch tastes - pepernoten which looks like earwax and tastes of aniseed, and strange crunchy things that look like dog meal and taste of aniseed. I'm not fond of aniseed...
Pelargonia
I made some pelargonium cuttings earlier in the year - far more than I could ever possibly use. Enough to start a small nursery, in point of fact. And of course, as I didn't really care whether they lived or died, most of the little blighters have survived. So what shall I do with 'em all now? I've got dozens and dozens! Any suggestions? Anyone want a few pot plants?
Oh, they're Mabel Grey. Small, pretty purple flowers, but their main schtick is that their leaves smell of lemon sherbert.
gerania
[Simons] Give them away as Christmas presents or let a a charity market stall sell them? I'd have a few for my purple patch - they sound nice.
OK, it just took me about 45 minutes to cross the city centre on my bike, versus the usual 15. The markets are beginning to annoy me.
(nights) Which city? Truro? Los Angeles?
[Rosie] Strasbourg, capital of overpriced tat - at the moment at least. Oh, the tourists.
Invading markets
[nights] I shouldn't worry too much, at least not just yet. I think the plan is to do England first.
Blue geese
[Simons Mith] I knew it. I knew all that money and time wasn't being expended for the simple reason of spreading holiday cheer and joy.
Surfing archives elsewhere...
Next time there's a slot open, I vote we use the team colours option for a game of "Eamon the Chivalrous".
[Tuj] What's that, then?
Such a ladies' man, so he is.
(nights) Good question. I Think We Should Be Told.
A rather schizophrenic MC variant I noticed high up the lists in the archives at MCiOS and Orange. And I'm very much a fan of the team colour options rab gave us.
[Eamon the Chivalrous] I like it, a lot.
quietly now... someone might be reading this
*whispers* It's my last official day in the office before Crimbo. I'm only coming in tomorrow (a 70km round trip, btw) to collect my Christmas box! Below freezing all day today in Rotterdam. Nearly -5C this morning as I got into the car - and surprisingly as I reached the campus too.
Brass Monkey
Chilly this morning although no frost, the air was surprisingly dry and pretty well no wind here on the island. I think it felt colder yesterday because of the wind chill. [pen] if you are on yers 'ols you can maybe squeeze in some practice for the canal skating ;0)
More brass monkey
It's been snowing here since 11.30 a.m. and has just about stopped now. Total less than an inch. Temperature zero and last night it went down to -7°. (Top right-hand bit of Surrey).
We had a high of -1 here in Strasbourg, and a few snowflakes. Météo France are promising a lot of snow this weekend, but frankly, I don't trust any organisation that insists its name is written in print in ALL CAPS.
Happiness is
[Rosie] Twenty minutes ago the temperature at my humpy was 40.3ºC. It has now dropped by nearly a degree. I'm ever so happy. ;)
Megathermality
(Dujon) You're welcome to that even though I see from the latest Richmond AFB METAR that the humidity is quite low. Highest ever (i.e. since 1983) at Hughes Hall is 35.9°C, 10 Aug '03. Interesting, but I are a sweaty little f****r and don't want too much of it. 30°C is all right every now and then but we haven't even reached that in the last 3 years.
[Rosie] I assume you'll have got the snowshoes out to ensure that you get snowed in at the pub, rather than at the Hughes residence tonight, what with 20cm forecast for your area.
Bah! Its rain again today here. Still chilly, though.
A light covering of snow here, but a very slow thaw at between 0 and +1C. Grey and overcast though, so useless for taking photos. More snow later!
variable
It was 39°C here yesterday. I did not sweat, but many others on the trams looked very hot and bothered. Now it is 15°C and raining.

The last few days can be seen here (it refreshes and will scroll off in a couple of days).

(INJ) I'm just beginning to think they've overdone it for this particular area because the wind is too northerly whereas it needs to be north-east for us to get a good dumping when the snow is generated by convection over the North Sea, which is still surprisingly warm. East Anglia and north Kent will get it but I'm probably just too far west, even allowing for the altitude (560 ft). Verification time (as they call it) will be tomorrow afternoon. There won't be much after that.
Snow
3 inches so far and not much more to come, I reckon. The newsgroup (uk.sci.weather) are absolutely wetting themselves but many of them seem to have little other life than weather + computers.
No relevance, I just really quite liked this sentence.
The visiting fans were aghast when she blatantly snorted a powdery substance up her nose and nearly cause a large scale riot but although she stopped play and quickly looked in her rule-book, just because an uppity linesman stated that Thomas Cech definitely was offside, an official spokesman snorted and stated sarcastically that such a strange combination of circumstances would hardly explain how the former mistress of the Compte de Bergerac was magnificent but forever embarrassed that her sinuous proboscis protruded into the area.
I thought it was supposed to be summer
I caught the Great Melbourne Run on Sky Sports last night in my hotel room. I'd rather be in Leeds - torrential rain and a grey sky down there, when we'd had mostly cold & clear.
Oh, and about 2 inches of snow in the evening and overnight - roads clear, pavements tricky.
it sneeuwt
-4°C outside the house and -6°C outside the village, plus a couple of inches of snow. It all looks very nice indeed.
After a 20 minute flurry yesterday which left very unrealistic-looking white powder on my garden, which melted a bit, then froze solid, it's snowing again now. It's settling nicely too. Lovely weather for the funeral party who will be arriving in 90 minutes
[Phil] Yes, if one of them were to fall and hurt themselves it would cast a bit of a gloom across the proceedings.
Verification time
3 inches of snow (8 cm). Rainfall equivalent 8.3 mm after I'd melted and measured it. This is just slightly more than the normal amount for such a depth. In February I got 28 cm (11") snow from 21.3 mm rainfall equivalent.
(INJ) You are a very naughty boy.
[INJ] One of the funeral (cremation) party commented that at least the departed ended the day warmer than they did. He didn't say this to the bereaved family though.
It's snowing again in Leicester, with plenty forecast (or not, depending on whose forecast you believe) overnight.
Here for the duration
6 inches of snow since last night - Coniston in the Southern Lake District.
I haven't brought my power supply for my laptop, so this is probably my last communication for a week. I'll therefore be the first to say Merry Christmas to all of you. Have a really good break and may you all receive what you would have hoped for.
Well, the snow didn't arrive. So we have now had the sum total of about half an inch over a period of 3 days. We do have very, very icy roads though, so at least I can have some fun.
(Phil) Handbrake turns at your age? I dunno.
(INJ) Cheers, and may your stocking contain an adaptor.
I sent a card to my newsagent for delivering my paper every day, having all the stuff I want etc etc. But I'd bought the card there. Is there a term for this?
[Rosie] Yes - agedness.
[Rosie] Driving is one of the few pleasures left in my life....
Donuts (or doughnuts)
It appears that many regions of the U.K. are experiencing rather cold weather. As I type there is a cyclone banging around and about the northwestern bit of Australia. Now, just about anyone who lives here would tell you that Marble Bar is hot and could possibly be nominated as the hottest location in the country. The said cyclone has just clipped Marble Bar.
So I had a little bit of a look at Marble Bar. Even though I live here and know its reputation I didn't know this little bit of information relative to the town.
"It is known as 'the hottest town in Australia' a fact which is still recorded by the Guinness Book of Records. For 161 consecutive days to 20 April 1924 the temperature in the town never dropped below 100°F (37.8°C)."
I do so hope that that bit of trivia will make you feel a wee bit warmer. ;(
(Dujon) Doesn't the record actually say that the maximum temperature each day reached 100°F for 161 consecutive days. I can't believe that it stayed above 100°F all night, every night. That has happened very occasionally in the Sahara (and probably elsewhere) in high summer but is very rare.
At the moment a temperature of 5°C would be nice. It hasn't been that high since last Sunday week and it's been down to -7°. White Christmas? No thank you. That white stuff is cold and stops you getting about.
Bing Crosby
[Rosie] As usual here in the channel we have missed the worst of it. A sprinkling last Thursday which caused mayhem on the roads and now the sun is shining and its about 7C.
Yeah. White (near-)Christmases aren't all they're cracked up to be. Though we've had some crunchy goodness here, so I've not been sliding around too much on it.
[Rosie] Possibly so, but I don't really know and thus accept the data. In Dec./Jan. 1988/9 or thereabouts I spent four or five weeks in a place called Hillston. That was a dreadful period. At a guess I'd say that I experienced 14 days of overnight temperature above 100ºF. I shall check and report back should I find any objective observations.
Desert songs
(Dujon) I looked at OZBOM, an excellent site, and it confirmed that it was the maxima that were all over 100°F. I suspect the minima were mostly 25° to 30°. In the last few years Adelaide has had a record high minimum of 34°C. To get a minimum of 100°F (37.8°C) you really need quite a stiff breeze to stop the lowest layers cooling and becoming decoupled from the circulation. You get a sandstorm thrown in for good measure, of course. The only place that doesn't seem to need this condition is Death Valley, where there have been several well-authenticated instances of the night minimum being above 110°F. Glad I'm not the weather observer there, or in Ojmjakon, Siberia, January mean -50°C. Yes, fifty. Wrap up well, as my Mum used to say.
the season
Festive Fun wishes to all x
No sweat
[Rosie] Thank you. I must have missed that information, thanks for the clarification. As far as wrapping up well is concerned your Mum's advice sounds like it should have been originally decreed by one of those pesky Yorkshire men (before they subsisted on gravel, of course). ;)
Happy Christmas, whether you believe in anything or not. I like Dec 25th - probably my happiest day of the year.
Merry Christmas from your friends in the States. Today in Seattle (where it is still the 24th for another few hours) the weather was truly lovely - a Christmas oddity since we usually receive rain every December.
Thanks for inventing MC, and then for letting us with no Tubes play too. =)
Ching
Merry Chingmas!
Happy Non-Demominational Generic Winter Season Festival, everyone. (I'm told Hannukah is still on back order.)
Hakunnah? True, there's none in the shops here either, SM. I blame the Buying Department.
Looking back, if that was my happiest day of the year, the rest must be bloody miserable.
Wow!
Well - the finest winter week I've had in Britain for many a year. Most days crisp and clear, some snowfall most nights to top up any thaw and to keep it all looking nice. Plenty of fairly low-level walks with stunning views of the Lake District tops. It was real picture postcards stuff. Temperatures at valley floor level 0-2 during the day going down to -4 or -5 overnight. Got up to about 500m one day but just too much snow - breaking trail and post-holing to mid-thigh has me knackered after about 10 minutes these days.
A recommendation: try the Church House Inn in Torver - 5 locally brewed real ales and a chef who really knows how to cook.
[INJ] Sounds wonderful. I've just caught Julia whatserface doing one of Wainwright's walks on the BBC this mrorning - in summer, I presume - and I can imagine it was an uplifting Xmas week for you. Here in Zuid Holland, we're back to the dim, dank 2-degrees-and-withering-damp weather that eats your core. Yuk.
Happy New Year
Farewell the noughties, hail the new and sparkling teens.
(Softers) Well, at least the sun has come out. Well, I presume it's the sun.
I take it all back. Minus 5 degrees, dry, cold and clear-ish, with plenty of snow at ours, much less in the centre of Rotterdam and mostly clear roads. There was a lovely red sunrise this morning as I drove (late) to work because the car needed scraping free of ice a second time after the windy miller did it for me earlier. And a lovely street party last night with the neighbours - pea soup, rokeworst, rum punch and a brazier. And a enlarged version of a board+puck game similar to shove-ha'penny, at which I did not suck. Hurrah!
If anyone's interested - it's not gone above zero here in Strasbourg since I got back, heavy snow and wind shut the trams down for a bit on Friday night, and everyone's just getting on with their lives. It doesn't, however, stop me cursing the security guard at work's name up and down when he won't open the building at 7h45 instead of 8h. Grr.
[nights] Getting on with it? Whatever next!
[nights] Let's all sing together, shall we: "Jobsworth, jobsworth, it's more than me jobsworth". Blimey where did I drag that one up from.
"I don't care, rain or snow,
Whatever you want, the answer's no."
Is that as old as TW3 - I have an image of Lance Percival singing it.
I always thought it was a Jeremy Taylor song; certainly I remember him singing it, and I always assumed he wrote it. Now I must go to the google.
Looks like you're right, but that's not the context in which I remember it. It's definitely in black and white in my memory.
[IS,P] Did you spend any time in South Africa?
Whoever sang it, I would love to teach it to the people of France. However I've yet to find a good translation for "jobsworth". But yes, people are just dealing with the cold - the phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On" seems apposite.
Jobsworth
Looks like it's probably 'That's Life' I remember it from.
The Jobsworth Song
I don't know that song, but in my head as I read the words they fitted themselves to the tune of christmas carol 'Torches'.
Hellooooo?
It's been very quiet in here for the past week.
Oh sorry. I had the volume turned right down :o(
*speechless*
Warning, sports joke
[pen] You are Daryl Harper and I claim my 5 rand.
*gazes upwards at sports joke flying overhead, out of reach*
Howzat!
I think if you consider, you'll
Find that the game called Wizards' Duel
Has joined the choir invisibule -
In other words, it's dead.

It's not too much to do with me -
I've played but intermittently -
So would anybody mind if we
Played something else instead?
Not in the least. And an extra point for rhyming.
I was at a Burns supper on Saturday night at which the songs were accompanied by mandolin and musical saw. Not quite as silly as swanee kazoo but an interesting combination nonetheless.
[rab] There's evidence that it was 'cutting edge' music in the heyday of the mandolin.
Bugger. Missed Burns Night. Always meant to go to one of them.
We hae meat an' we can eat
[Projoy] It's not too late. Burns Night is tonight - Rab is obviously not a true Scotsman if he's prepared to go to a supper on the wrong day just because it's the weekend (unless he's going to another tonight).
We'll be having our regular 'confuse-a-foreigner' night tonight with guests from Spain, Germany and China. This is one of the times when my Scottish blood, through the maternal line, takes precedence over the Welsh, on the paternal side.
Alas, philspub is acting as a neutral venue for a skittles cup semi-final tonight, for which no supper is required. Any other week, and I'd've been able to do haggis for the skittles supper.
I suspect I might cook some tonight anyway, and have a small glass of whisky (Scapa 1993 is looking very inviting) to wash it down.
Malt Teasers
I suspect I'll be having a Ledaig 1990 before bedtime.
[INJ] Hate to disappoint you, but I am not in any reasonable sense a Scotsman.
Well, Burns Night was a non-event here. I did however have my birthday party. Involving a cake made of marshmallows, and being spanked for my years in the middle of a rowdy bar at 1am. It was great!
Age-related corporal punishment
They were all oldies, were they? Serves you right, young man. :-)
Worse, they were from the south. They have strange ways, down there.
I'm enjoying the new Cat on a Warm Tin Roof game (being a fan of the various film clubs). However, I was wondering if it was worth having an entry convention to differentiate between films, books, & songs... I was thinking - keep films in bold, books in italics, and songs in quote marks?
[Uncle Korky] I don't see the point in doing that. Am I missing something?
[UK] It's all that most of us can do to even post in the right game most of the time. I think you'd be asking way too much of us. :-)
Eh, if you're posting something unusually obscure, just post a hint as well. Besides, what typographic notation would we use for plays, musicals, etc.?
balloon.a.down.lead.like.goes.idea
[UK] Is your idea based on some local government entry convention/system/policy - ie. why do something once when you can employ three people to do it in triplicate? :)


[On the plus side - at least it blew away the tumbleweed in here]
Everything in its place
I'm sure we can work out a comprehensive notation system. Things like poems in UPPER CASE(unless they're by e e cummings) etc.
Clearly we need to start a notation game to sort out these little stylistic niggles before the new process is formally adopted.
Although, if we do that, we're going to need meta-notation to distinguish between styles proposed, under consideration, accepted and rejected. [Chalks] That's why we need a committee, of course; if you start doing this sort of thing properly it's bound to turn out to be more complicated than one head can contain.
I nominate Chalky to be on the ad hoc search committee charged with finding a steering committee to oversee the establishment of a notation game.
But surely we need to agree on the nomination procedures first?
[rab] Agreed, as long as we don't make things needlessly bureaucratic.
OK then, so I suggest the usual: each candidate will need the backing of twenty (20) signatures. In the event of more than one nomination, we'll need to instigate an election process. Obviously, the most sensible way to do this is a two-round procedure, where we use a single-transferrable vote to whittle down to two candidates, and a second round to decide the final victor. We will of course need to do this for each committee post, but it's a pretty straightforward procedure, so won't be much hassle to implement.
[rab] You start :o)
[pen] No can do - as maintainer of this site, it would open up a massive conflict of interest and leave me open to prosecution by the EU, probably.
*Resolves not to post anything stupid in future*
[Korks] Please do. Post, that is. Not 'not post'.
:):)
I wish I hadn't said that
[UK] I've made that resolution about once a week since debuting on the morniverse. Hasn't worked yet.
(INJ) Still doesn't work, does it. :-) Debuting??? Go on; it's a wind-up.
Daybooing
[Rosie] It's a tricky one, isn't it? It ought to be OK as a word, but I'm unhappy with all ways of pronouncing it.
verbing weirds nouns
I see what you've done there. Avoid 'debuting' at all costs. You can only 'make a debut'.
(INJ, pen) - I think I'd prefer deb-yewing with the accent on the first syllable. It'll turn up on Five Live now you've let it out of the bag.
While we're on the subject, how do people pronounce "valeting"?
deb-OO-ing
I would not say it, but if pushed, after thinking for a while: val-AY-ing or perhaps VAL-ay-ing.

Ugly.

[Flerdle] The common pronunciation I hear is 'VAL-ett-ing', at least when you're talking about car cleaning. Not heard it for being a gentleman's gentleman.
On a similar basis, I'm looking forward with relish to the challenges of gerunding "ballet", "fracas", "wii", "Playdoh" and "adieu"
(I've often thought the word "Boeing" looked rather awkward for related morphological/phonological tension reasons).
Ah, another good one to add to the list above would be "algebra".
I do have a fondness for the (not terribly prevalent, but permitted) alternative spelling of "queuing" that keeps the "e", resulting in "queueing"; a whopping 5 consecutive vowels.
Semi-tangentially
I seem to recall reading a newspaper article about an RSI-like injury that had been christened "wiiitis".
[INJ] That reminds me that "buffet" is pronounced "boo-fay" except when referring to catering provision on British trains, where it's "buff-it".
[rab] Really? I beg to differ. "Buff-it" would only be used by me as a verb relating to what strong winds can do to a person.
Buff, Eh?
[Rab] Not to mention the notices on the cross-channel ferries which say: 'To the buffet/Au Snack-bar'
aye, buff, ay!
Saying "boof-ay" here would get you strange looks.
(and that's for any pronunciation of "oo")
[flerdle] even "stool"?
I thought girls had "boof ay's" in the '60s.
(Phil) When you've polished your nice brass beer pump don't you then buff it for that extra gleam?
[Phil] Especially!
[Rosie] No. I have staff to do that for me :)
[flerdle] how are you pronouncing the "boof" of "boof-ay"? Like "boo" or "book"?
actually, it's Smörgåsbord
Either works just as badly - as I said. It's always "buff-ay" here unless you're over 80 and posh or putting it on. Buff as in huff, puff, stuff and, um, buff.
Snoo
I don't think we've had a week without at least a small covering of the white stuff since before Christmas. Most weeks, it has been topped up at least twice, but mostly melts away before the next lot comes. Gah.
(pen) - Are you bemoaning the fact that it doesn't stay or that it's there at all? With me it would be the latter. Cold, messy and stops you getting about. This view doesn't go down well with the weather newsgroups but they're mainly inhabited by 13-yr-olds, it seems to me, even if their actual age is over four thimes that. Roll on summer. Then they'll start throwing their toys about because they haven't got their promised thunderstorms.
[Rosie] That it's *still* coming. It started snowing this morning when I was eating breakfast. By the time I got in the car to drive to work, it was white over again. And then there was a snowstorm for an hour or so at mid-day. I have to concede that the roads have been fine though.
(pen) - Nothing mild in the next week but no ferocious cold either. Just well, crap, really. Haven't seen the sun for ages or much of the night sky.
Zonne
[Rosie] Poor you. Seeing the sun from time to time *does* make a difference. It was sunny this morning, and it was an incredibly cold but incredibly sunny day last Friday, when a friend visiting from England and my sister-in-law drove down to Belgium to see an exhibition of hellebores (surprisingly interesting - and incredibly fragrant) and took two walks - first through an arboretum deep in sunlit snow but full of colourful flowering witch-hazels, and secondly across a brilliantly sunny heath, covered in about 6" of snow, when I nearly froze my face off. And the stars last night were quite incredible too. Minus 3.5C this morning. Light ice on the car. No traffic - school holidays - hurrah!
Oh, and there were two storks sitting in a rudimentary stork's nest on a stork's nest pole alongside the road as I drove into work this morning. Perhaps they can see spring coming from that height.
feeling the need..
To dispel any ugly thoughts about stork baggage, no, I'm not.
[Penlope] Oh, poor you. ;)
Well, that thought certainly shut us all up!
[INJ] Don't let it. As I tried to say on Facebook (for those what do it) I'm much better Professional Uncle material than I am parent material. Besides, kids are so annoying, and so expensive. I just got a fresh bit of freelance work in, and celebrated by buying a new handbag. Now is that responsible parent-like behaviour?
Uncle pen
The mind boggles. BTW My mum had a nice handbag and we were still fed.
A thought of more than 8 words
Somehow, CdM continues to make splendid contributions to the 8-word game despite belligerently flouting the laws. Top Crescenteering.
[Tuj] Thank you. My greater pride, however, is that I just provoked pen into a rules violation.
Well done all of you.
Pride comes...
[CdM] as a fallen dish, left cold. Or something. ;o)
breaking the silence
SIX degrees on the way to work this morning. All the ice has disappeared from the water in the canals. Meanwhile, in Vancouver, NL's golden boy Sven Kramer (one gold medal under his belt already) was mislead by his coach as to when to change lanes in the speed skating, and lost a second gold medal in speed skating last night. The whole country is gutted this morning.
kiddiwinki
[pen] Professional Uncle? Is there something you are not telling us?
Losing a gold medal
[Penolope] How can you lose a gold medal on a skating rink, never mind two? Perhaps he needs a tighter belt or a better piece of string. On a more serious note: How can an experienced competitor get it so wrong and then blame his coach?
Sorry, penelope, it weren't deliberate like. :(
It's amazed me how little the French seem to care about the Olympics. But then we have political problems to worry about - oh, no, wait, that was the Netherlands too!
voting
Yep - a tumultuous week here in the flat country. I get to vote in local elections here next week, which will be interesting. But I've also made sure I can vote in the UK elections. Hurrah!
Jesus HUGHES
(Ping INJ) - One of the answers (correctly given) in last Monday's University Challange was "Anarcho-Syndicalism".
[Mono] Ditto here. It feels a little immoral being registered in two countries, but I wanted so much to vote for our regional council. We're also battening down the hatches because according to Météo-France, "WE'RE ALL DOOOMED!"
Yoo-hoo!
Anyone about?
Bum. The windy miller and I didn't vote - we were sitting drinking coffee in a very genteel Dutch front parlour, looking over a stadhuis and a canal and talking about planning issues and weather lore.
Windy
No not the Miller, pen. Just bloody windy. Cold too. Brrr! Bring on Spring.
Coming out of London City Airport the other day, I was intrigued by two large signs instructing pilots to "CAUTION YOUR BLAST". Obviously this was the first thing I typed into Google when I got home, and it brought up many webpages with people asking what it meant. The answer I like best is the one that says it means not to accelerate too rapidly going onto the runway because you run the risk of blowing the ground crew over in the process.
(rab) How do you caution a blast? Do you say "OK, blast, you've committed an offence but we've decided not to prosecute this time provided you admit culpability"? Why don't these buggers speak English?
I think it might be due to limited sign space. I trust the interpretation of the message is part of a pilot's training, as being a native English speaker won't even help you with this one.
[rab] The turning points at LCY are very tight, and I suppose it must be to remind pilots to be wary of where their blast is directed.
This video shows an example of people not cautioning the blast of a Airbus 340, where the pilot has no choice of where to direct his full throttle "blast".
It'd be interesting to collect signs that don't entirely say what they mean. The only two I can think of are "Blind Summit" in the UK, which means "there's something you need to be ready for beyond the crest of this hill; such as a single-track bridge, an abrupt curve or a yak crossing, but we're not telling"; and one you often see when exiting tunnels in the US, which just says "Lights". It's reminding you that you might have left your headlights on when leaving the tunnel but presumably they don't want to say "Turn your lights off now" for fear people would obey it at night.
(Dan) There was a (maybe apocryphal) example of that at a level crossing in Yorkshire where it said "Wait while red light shows" in case there's another train coming in the opposite direction. But there were cases where motorists stopped at a green light because colloquially the sign means "Wait until the red light shows". There are so many ways of rephrasing it but they missed them all.
[rab] I had exactly the same reaction when I last went through there.
Weather
Foul weather here last night, our coastal roads were closed because of the high tide overspill during the rush hour, resulting chaos. Very windy and torrential rain at times. So much for BST!
(Softers) I see you've still got a nice bracing force 6-7 with a few hail showers. It'll calm down pretty soon, though. And don't forget that but for the clocks you'd have got them an hour earlier. Not everything is bad.
Ten, long days and a lot of chocolate eggs
So has everyone finished their chocolate stash? The windy miller and I have resorted to buying the half-price leftover Easter Eggs in the supermarket - cappucino flavoured mini-eggs for me.
Any plans for the weekend? We'll go out to Willemstad (look it up on google maps - the town's fortifications are shaped like Lisa Simpson's hair) for coffee and appeltaart tonight, and the windy miller will have a trappist beer or two. Other than that... I have no idea.
chocolate? what chocolate?
I had a Lindt mini egg. As I've all but wiped saturated fat out of my diet since about a month ago, the pleasure of eating it was overwhelmed by the disappointment that I had given in and eaten it. I'm enjoying getting into the jeans that I kept for 2 years in the hope that I'd fit into them again some day though.
[Phil] Now I feel fat and guilty. Cheers. ;o)
Trappist beer?
(pen) If anything loosens the tongue......
[Rosie] I imagine the brewers' taste testing sessions were conducted behind locked doors, and not everything was written down...
[pen] Soz, that wasn't my intention :-(
Html..
Hey guys, don't mean to butt in, or anything, but how do you do all the html thingies for the posts? I can do bold, italics and line spaces, but how do you do the other things. Please can someone help?
all the right moves ..
[FGZstar] Go to main menu page - bottom right you'll see 'settings - info' - press info :)
(FGZstar) Unfortunately, "info" links to a website (Dr Qu+xum, a former Morniverser) that is no longer there. Here are a few you might like:
hr = a page-wide grey underline
sup = superscript, sub = subscript
p = paragraph (adds an extra line space)
font size="x" where x can go from -2 to +2.
strike = a line through the text
href="url"> any message</a> for an external link.
There is loads more which you can Google. Go for the simplest stuff or you'll end up learning the entirety of Hungarian literature when all you want is to ask for the loo.
Cockup
Before "href" insert <a
As an alternative to monkeying with the font size, you can use <small> </small> and <big> </big> tags.
HTML Primer
I have a saved copy of DrQu+xum's helpful primer stashed away somewhere. I'll dig it out and make it available online again.
primed
Might be simplest to host it here if you find it. Whatever, I'll update the link if the source material can be tracked down.
Okay, here goes!

fraser+info2=success!

Thanks, guys! I seem to be cured of my affliction!

Dr Q
(INJ) Bugger me, it's still there. Why couldn't I get it earlier?
hmmm
[FGZstar] Curiously enough - I had a hunch you might demonstrate your new found prowess. All power to you :)
more html queries
Okay, now that I have the basics, I would like some direction in terms of photos. Can i put in the file ref of my memory card or temp storage device and it will upload, or do I need to keep the file in permanent storage on the computer?
[FGZstar] There's no uploading to this site, and unless your computer is running a web server and is online all the time, a picture stored on it won't be visible anywhere else. You would need to upload the picture to somewhere of your own on the web, and link to it from here.
There are sites like Photobucket that will allow you to do that. (Although I think that one's owned by Rupert Murdoch, so you may have philosophical objections to using it). ImageShack is another.
(Raak, rab) Can I do that with Flickr? My God, you're all doomed.
If it's on Flickr, or Zooomr, or anywhere else, you can link it here. Whether you should...
[Raak] Nice panoramic - but a bit sticky-outy to the right. Where be it?
(Chalky) Click on it and you'll find it's probably not far from Naarj.
[Chalky] The view from my office window (carefully zoomed and cropped to avoid the concrete). Doesn't stick out on my screen. :-)
One day, I'll put up a pic from my office window - downtown Rotterdam, skyscrapers, splendid bridges and all. One the other hand, from my home office (the spare room) I can see the sails of a windmill, a thatched barn, and the village hall. And a load of very, very ordinary houses, all very close together.
What about Facebook? I've got some pretty panoramics pics i've taken over my travels, I'll put some up soon, or I'll link to my facebook for any other FB members out there
Yay! It works!

Now the challenge: Name that location
[FGZ*] Bryce3D?
The shape of the bay looks a bit like Rio.
Nope. I'll tell you that it's in Asia.
Hmmm... That looks like a fair-sized city -- and I have been to a lot of cities in Asia but don't recognise this one. I don't think it's Hong Kong. But there are a lot of large cities in China that I've never seen, so I wonder if it might be one of those. I'm also a bit bemused by what is in the left of the picture: a rollercoaster???
Yep, it's the run-away mine train at a theme park which I visited. Sadly this particular roller coaster was closed for maintenance on the day. It looks like fun, too.
Ah, ok. It is HK Disneyland, looking over Discovery Bay. I've never been to that part of HK.
[CdM] You are soooo close, but no cigar. You are certainly right in half of your answer.
All praise to the Google
OK, got it. Ocean Park in Hong Kong. Haven't been to that part of HK either. Things about the Disneyland guess didn't quite seem right, looking at Google maps, but I assumed it was just something odd about the angle of the picture that I couldn't quite work out.

What kind of cigar do I get?
Here you go, it's cuban.
'Cuban'?
[FGZ] No it's not, it's cylindrical.
A week is a long time in politics. It's a long time in a queue for a Bucks Fizz reunion ticket too.
Q
[Phil] About 8 days too long in my view.
Before today there was 9-day hiatus in this very game. Quite inexcusable.
I suppose everyone just cleared out to avoid the cigar smoke...
Do other people agree that "Change Just One Thing" has become a bit stale? It was very fun for a while, but we don't seem to have found any interesting way to develop the game.
I wuld agree with that, when I suggested a sentence change I waited 2 weeks to get no answer, so I changed it anyway. Any suggestions for a new game?
June so soon?
This month's conversation will mostly be... contributuons please
British Airways
Why is it that British Airways can't agree with their crew long enough to avoid strike action? I just hope they don't branch out into brewery tours...
Particle physics?
[pen] Contributuons? Some sort of elementary particle I'm guessing.
Yes.
'Yes' and 'No' are the most basic particles known as contributuons.
Contributuons are not entirely stable. They are sometimes known to decay into mehons, particularly nowadays when enthusiasm is so often considered passé.
We must all don HAZMAT suits immediately, as prolonged exposure to contributuons can cause long term healf effects.
H & S
(FGZS) Er, no "h" in healf, BTW. Talking of which, why does anyone working outside seem to have to wear a high-vis jacket? Will it be compulsory for everyone? Should I wear one as a pedestrian? At a recent football match it took six big blokes and a woman, all with this ludicrous garb, to carry an injured footballer off the pitch on a stretcher. You could almost feel the self-importance oozing from the telly screen. After all, this was football, a Very Serious Matter. Come on, you Blues! (whoops).
A high-vis jacket makes a very effective Cloak of Invisibility (I am told) if you want to explore somewhere outside that you're not supposed to be.
(Raak) Mm, I hadn't thought of that. Could be useful for committing gross trespass in railway tunnels. (I have actually done that). It's a bit like donning police uniform without the risk of committing the serious offence of impersonating a police officer. One could get a hard hat as well and be pretty well untouchable. The more I think about it the better it gets. You could give one as a Christmas present to someone with low self-esteem but obviously they would find it difficult to adopt the swagger. Let us raise a glass to The Law of Unintended Consequences.
DayGlo
It is now compulsory to carry hi-viz jackets in cars when driving in France. Not just for the driver either, one for each seat and they cannot be stored in the boot.
[Rosie] Are you sure they weren't just wearing your away kit of a couple of seasons ago? ;)
(Softers) That sounds most un-French unless I've misjudged the place. Where are you supposed to store them? When is it compulsory to wear them, and if it isn't, what are they for?
(Tuj) Yes, not good, was it.
[SW] Surely that would be almost as effective as the swiss needing compulsory lifejackets in their cars. I think it's just an excuse for the Gendarmerie to nick any english folks who haven't been told yet!
Upon reading some risk assessments once, I was surprised to learn that we were required to carry throwlines when within 1KM of water.
(various) What's the chance of losing the will to live while reading a Risk Assessment? Shouldn't there be a Risk Assessment before one does this kind of thing?
Re: DayGlo
[Rosie] On autoroutes and main roads with hard shoulders. No guidance on storage, sadly. We keep them in the glove box. [FGZs] Not quite; the Swiss do have a few lakes.
On a completely unrelated note...
I am currently in Heathrow T5 awaiting a flight home to Edinburgh as the last leg of my 10 month world tour, and would you beleive it! BA have let me into their lounge. Free internet and free food! OMG!!!!!!!
BA Executive Club
[FGZs] Let you in for free? That can only mean bad news.
BAa baa black sheep
[FGZ] On my last trip via T5 I found I was able to pick up the free BA signal in the Wetherspoons. Don't know if they've noticed since then (or perhaps they simply don't care).
BA Club (not too sure about executive)
[SW] Well, apparently my round the world ticket was changed in nature when the person I spoke to put me on a new flight back to Edinburgh becuase the other one was cancelled (strike). It then became what is called a full fare ticket, which as well as being fully flexible, also lets you into the executive lounge. It was brill. Especially the fully open bar, where the spirits and wine and beers were just sitting for you to help yourself. And the sarnies were lovely too. Especially the cvaviar and foie gras on rye...
cvaviar?
Kevaviar. Yum. ;o)
I'm inburgering - I knew the back roads around the polder to avoid the hold-ups caused by a very slow double-portokabin being carried precariously on a tractor and trailer along the main road into the village last night. Hurrah! That's no mean feat when you consider that all the dyke roads look the same (raised above the fields, lined with alder trees and dotted with houses) and there are no hills or big landmarks to orientate yourself.
Clogland
[pen] Yes, disorientating isn't it? When I worked in Hilversum we used to play cricket in a field on the way to Utrecht somewhere. I could never find my way to it on my own.
Cvaviar
I will have you know that cvaviar is a russian term, meaning shrimp or prawns. Also, the Foie Gras mentioned was actually foie gras flavoured spread. BA's not that good, or they'd be able to pay their staff a decent wage, and not have a strike.
I'm new to this place, but it looks interesting
Is there an overview of the games?
Games overview
[Kage] Greetings! 'Games overview' - er, sort of. If you click on the 'Bushy Tailed' link you'll see an archive of all the old games played in the past that have now finished. That gives a good selection of the sort of word games and other random improvisational stuff we play here. The live games are the dozen or so displayed on the main page, of which this game, 'The Banter Page' is one. Then there's more silliness at the 'mcios' and 'orange' links lurking in the bottom left portion of the main page.

The idea of these is sites is to post a comment/move in whatever games take your fancy, then come back later to see what others have added. The pace is sedate - you get a few new moves on each site each day. It's a bit like Twitter in that respect, I suppose.

As far as how to play individual games, well that varies. The simplest are games like the limerick or haiku games, where you just post the next line to a limerick or haiku (OK, they're senryu really, usually with a comic tone). In most other games we're just making things up as we go along.

Are you familiar with I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue? This site is a web-based version of this long-running comedy radio show. We try to play most of the games they play on ISIHAC, and invent our own in the same style. That's what this site – and Orange and MCiOS contain.

indeed
Hello new chaps. It's just a case of slotting in and playing a line you think might be funny/constructive/setting up a killer of an ending. I think there's a lot to be said for generous play (eschewing the laughs for one line in order to allow the biggest laugh with the next player's line) and we haven't seen so much of it recently - I guess because Facebook is stealing everyone's attention and the moves don't come as fast as they used to. (Jeez, I've been playing here for 12 years!!!)
In other matters, writing for work is the last thing I feel like doing today. I've been asked to write a news article and there are so many stipulations and limitations in it that the commissioner might as well write it herself. Pah. Grump.
Article
[Pen] OK, I bet you £5 you can't work the word 'armadillo' into it.
[Simons] You're right. I can't get the word armadillo into it. Can you send the five quid by paypal?
Silly
What do you get if you cross a vibrator with a lizard?
Hidden textAn armadildo.
Braaaaiiiinnnnsss
Can I just say that I finding the ongoing MC5 Zombie carnival to be at least as entertaining as the Festival of Crescent at dunx.org? I now have a chance to play in Ex Libri Bardus which I didn't take up at the time.
Bushy Tailed?
Where did all the games in the bushy tailed come from? I've never seen any of them until they turned up there. Am I miising something? All I can see are the bright eyed and the bushy tailed. Are there more?
Yes - click the 'See more' button!
[SM] You think we should all start playing the old games again then? The idea of a Zombie Festival of Crescent does rather tickle me.
So, when is rab's birthday then? Seems like the date for the zombie fest. (Actually, it should probably be his deathday (i.e., pre-anniversaries of his death), but that's tougher to work out.)
NO IT'S NOT.
You do the math!
[CdM] This year, as it happens, on a somewhat numerically pleasing day. Certainly cause for some kind of celebration.
September 8? October 10?
October 20th?
Tennis
[CdM] Second time lucky.
I'm not understanding the attempt at concurrent cheddars in the 8 words room. I think I'll just wait for someone braver than me to work out how to play, and join in later.
[Knobbly] Now I'm with you.
Cheddars in parallel
(Knobbly, Tuj) Eight cheddars run concurrently. The first eight entries are the first lines of eight cheddars on eight different subjects. The next eight entries are the second lines of these eight cheddars and so on until, well, we'll think about that. Ideally it needs eight different contributors or there could be confusion. Thus Softers and I have done our first lines and eagerly await your respective contributions and those of others.
I haven't a clue
Listening to the first episode I've ever heard of "I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue."
[Rosie] Ta. Can't always explain what's going on in eight words I guess! I'll confess my original idea was that the first move would contain eight first words of eight cheddars, the next move the second word of each, and so on. So we'll get round to that when this comes to a natural conclusion, I guess.
(Tuj) I have a feeling this is going to go on a bit; we're still waiting for four first lines. Oh well.
(KagShuk) Few would admit to that. Well done. Pity you never heard Humphrey Lyttleton as chairman but Jack Dee is a good replacement.
Cheddars
Interestingly, the first three in the 8 word game can be read together or each could be the start of one.
in case Tuj stumbles in here...
Happy Birthday, Sir
football
wot a load of guff --i would sooner nail my arse to the floor than sit and watch a game.
Nailing one's arse to the floor
[gillo] I like the sentiment, but now I'm wondering about the logistics. I suppose you'd have to sit on the floor with legs out straight and then put the nails in diagonally from each side. Aim from just the middle of the frontmost parts of your rear jeans pockets to come out through the bottom middle of each pocket. You'd need to use at least 6" nails as well, I'd think, and I doubt you'd get a very strong attachment. I did try doing a little ASCII diagram but I couldn't get it to convey what I wanted.
Mon the Germans!!!!
I think we should have a poems parody game - don't think I can start it, can I?
I think that I shall never see
A purple cow that looks like thee
This poem is a pure mess
With lots of regards to Gilet Burgess.
That 70s Game
Took a gander and was appalled, appalled I say, to see no one had posted "Goodieeeeeees! Goody goody yum yum". Words fail me.
Game slot
We havn't played T.L.A. for a while. Any support for a themed version? Eg: M.U.G. - Most Under-achieving Goalkeeper - a World Cup T.L.A.
T.L.A.
W.A.S.I.
(What A Spiffing Idea - bit of a PG Wodehouse one, that.)
buzz! Penelope used four letters.
I think the Cat on a Warm Tin Roof is probably done to a turn by now. Perhaps it would make a good candidate for replacement by T.L.A.
How about a game of Fictional MC, where all the stations played in the game are fictional, and the player have to assign each station a place on the tube map as they give it's name. It may be inspired by a fictional work, or jut completely made up by the player. It could possibly replace Cat on a Warm Tin Roof. Of course, MC would stay as the winner, because it's quite irreplaceable in my mind. Any thoughts?
Morningside Castle
[FGZ] I think that's an excellent idea. Sort of a bit like Boardman's, but hopefully without getting as silly as Boardman's often does.
Actually, have had thoughts of changing the winner to Aldwych, since it's appeared on screen a lot, in various guises.
A week has gone by since...
It's all very well everyone being too polite to say anything, but it does get slightly tedious. Or are you all on summer hols? Next week, the windy miller and I will be mostly noodling around the north of England along Hadrian's wall, and visiting friends that I haven't seen for far too long. Can't wait!
Shhhhh! You'll wake them up
I think it's a matter of momentum and critical mass. The more people there are contributing to a site the more others are prompted to do so. I tend to skim looking for updated games and probably only review the whole morniverse about once a fortnight. We need to start an argument - that's always good for pulling people in.
I'm working in Newcastle this week, but next week I'll probably be in Leeds, so no chance of viewing some of the remarkable sights in the evening on Newcastle Quays together I'm afraid.
Very well then
[INJ] Really, that's the kind of stupid comment that could only have been made by someone who thinks speed limits should by higher, hates winter, is opposed to summer time, likes vuvuzelas, is a language fascist, supports Manchester United, and thinks Tom Baker was the best Doctor Who.
See petard - hoist by.
Well, your failure to proof-read your entry just demonstrates your lack of intellectual rigour and means I can dismiss your comment as unworthy of response.
Wait a minute! Tom Baker? I'll see you outside!
Can't you two boys play nicely?
(CdM) I, er, sort of prefer summer. Don't hit me, please, pretty please. *suddenly remembers who he is* When did you last experience a winter, anyway?
That's more like it
Scrap!
Fight, fight, fight!
Come on over here, CdM. Oh, you are? Sorry.
Vuvuzelas are one of modern music's most wonderful inventions and those that play them the musicians of the future. Who could ever forget the marvellous interplay of the long and short horns, the seemingly random effects produced by the instruments' flats, sharps and true tonal quality as exhibited recently in the various cities of the South African Republic? Sit down sir, with an open mind, and listen.
Every orchestra should have at least 1000 in its wind section.
[Rosie] I'm in the middle of winter right now!
Winter, Hah! It's not winter if you can go outside with fewer than three layers on.
Grim op north
[INJ] Dunno what you are talking about. The temperature has rarely dipped below 15C (day and night) for the last two months down here :o).
Grim down south
(CdM) - Yurss.
(Duj) Many big clubs here have already banned them. Health and Safety can occasionally be useful.
[Rosie] It does get nippy here and there down here. Charlotte Pass recorded -20° C a few days ago.       ;)
(Duj) - Well it would; it's 6000 feet up in a valley. According to an admittedly pretty crap source Sydney Airport has never recorded a frost though I imagine things get a little more parky where you are. English record is -26.1° (Harper Adams College, Newport, Salop, 10 Jan 82). The record for SE England is probably -21° at Bodiam, Sussex, Jan 1940. At Maison Rosie it's -12.9° on 10 Feb 86. Feeble! Even sodding Gatwick Airport has done better than that, as it often does. *sobs*.
Sitting on the Fence...
I am native to the UK, but I spent most of the last year in NZ, so missed the worst winter ever (thank god), and got a suntan instead. It was to my dismay, however, that I returned to find my mum had a better tan than me. Bloody global warming.
On a completely unrelated note...
How does one define next day delivery?
One more thing...
Since when did the Circle line become a spiral?
Next Day Delivery
Is an additional charge for the same poor service.
Monotonically decreasing radii vectores
(FGZstar) - Eh? Please explain.
Disappearing into a black hole
It was about 4-6 months ago. I commented on it in another place.
[Rosie] Trains now run from Hammersmith and then effectively transfer from the H&C to the circle. I don't know what proportion do that and whether they can go round a few times and then escape out to Barking. It's been the subject of frantic discussions at CAMREC.
NDD
[Software] Spot on. I bought some shoes and paid for Next day delivery, and had them delivered 5 days later. I was furious.
The Cir- er.. Spiral Line
I think they run from Hammersmith to Edgware Road via the circle, then back the other way. I will be down in London (hopefully) later in the week, so I shall report back when I know more. I only realised when I looked at the tube map the other day.
The 'Lasso Line'
It is all explained here.
Next Day
[FGZ] It is never worth it. I bought a TV (using my online trade account) to be delivered to my son. I was offered "Next Day" at £12.99 but went for the free option. It was delivered the next day.
(Softers) Ah! It is all so clear to me now.
(INJ) Oh, that CAMREC.
Overground
Has anyone else been on the new Overground trains yet? I think they should make the tube trains with interconnecting carriages too. It would save everyone ending up in the one carriage.
Who has to work to make money
I've got to write tons of articles in August so I can make money. While I like writing, the amount I need to write is not fun. I get page view bonus, too - quite like a salesman gets commission - and I'm also trying to hit a million page views, so if you don't mind, would you view my articles?
Who lives in Lake Charles, LA, USA . . .
*is happy*
Sorry, I've not been around for a while and I must have missed the arrival of KagomeShuko. If I didn't know better I'd think it was spam. But obviously a regular poster who usually makes witty and urbane comments.
In the spirit of shameless self promotion, can I maybe try to direct you to my blog?
who doesn't have to work to get money
The state pays me to be alive, along with a number of other age-related concessions. Also, I get a useful pension from BP.
who lives in Warlingham, Surrey, UK
*is smug*
[FGZStar] In the spirit of shameless self-intoxication, can I direct you to buy me a pint?
Who needs to buy.
[Sierra Mike] I will happily give you this virtual pint of tapwater.
[FGZstar] If you're heading out of Sydney or down to Melbourne or Canberra announce it on the Pilg page on Orange as PaulWay is in Canberra, flerdle, CdM and I are in Melbourne and I think someone's in the Blue Mountains.
Bugger, just realised you're already off in the land of the long white bodies, I mean cloud.
Oh, really?
Strange you should think that, as I'm actually back home in the UK (The blog's a bit out of date, needs updating)
a very pleasant chap.
[nfras] Our mountain man of mystery would be Dujon; he doesn't travel, so PaulWay and I verified he exists by going to Blaxland ourselves in December 2003; one of the first antipopilgs. It might even have been the first antipopilg.
That's flerdle on the right (as you view the image) and me on the left. PaulWay declined the offer of inclusion (he was too busy programming his brand new all-singing all-dancing MP3 player).
As you can see my 'pleasant chap' (thanks flerdle) reputation came from my inability to keep up my head and thus was forced to address my witticisms to the beer drenched table at which we sat. Incidentally, the drink that flerdle had before her at that moment was not coffee. ;)
Yes, couldn't recall if it was Dujon or Dunx and didn't want to cause anyone offence.
Really, truly, ridgy didge?
Was it really 2003, flerdle? I suppose it must have been as I have brown hair in that photograph. I now look more like a polar bear rather than the grizzly that I presented as in those days. *sobs*
Proof of existence
(flerdle) Oh, he exists all right - I've spoken to him on the phone, would you believe. A charming fellow but with a poor sense of timing - it was about 3.45 a.m. here but we yakked away for over half an hour. Must've cost him a fortune. One of only three Morniversers I've actually spoken to.
So is anyone but me actually in the UK?
[FGZ*] I was, but I'm not now.
(FGZstar) - Yes, me, hence Duj's phone bill.
[FGZstar) I am, more or less indefinitely.
Who just made a new website with the help of Giertrud
Please, go take a look at www.everlastinglight.tk and let me know what you think!
[KS] I think it needs some extracts and perhaps some sample illustrations, and maybe you should say which age range each book is aimed at. And it also desperately needs a professional portrait picture of you, the author. At first glance (and that's all you get from any web-user visiting your pages for the first time - I think the patience limit is less than 7 seconds, isn't it?) there's not enough information there to make the books appealing and make me want to buy them.
Right now it won't load for me...
You need to lighten up the background, as the text is hard to read, and change the font to being bigger and more interesting, as the current font is a bit dull. May I suggest Verdana or maybe even Arial, although as it's for children's books, maybe Comic Sans would be more appropriate. Also rethink the logo as it doesn't really jump out at you. I'll try and have a go later and if it looks good I'll upload it onto the web and post it here for you.
[FGZStar] I'm in Leicester. At Phil's pub.
I knew that one. What happened to your web page, anyway? It's coming up account suspended
rooly trooly 2003
Sorry, bit late, but [nfras] Don't worry, Dunx and Dan are always getting mixed up Elsewhere. Some people doubt that there are more than about three people actually here at all.

Actually in the photo I linked to above that's Dujon on the left, me wallaby in the middle and PaulWay dressed in a rather fetching shade of blue in the background (sorry about the poor light, you might not have seen him properly). I have met many people in the Morniverse, but not Rosie (or Dan or Dunx).

Closing time
(Phil) - FGZstar is right. I can't get the website. Wotchoobinuptu?
Furry animals
(flerdle) - Erm, all I can see is two wallabies, one central and bright, the other to the left and dark. Am I being a bit slow or has there been a cockup?
The Morniversers I have actually met are Software and Chalky, and v. good company they are.
[Rosie] The one on the left is, I was assured, a bear, albeit with a pointy nose. PaulWay is rather tall and rectangular, with a slight metallic undercoat.
it's his car's Empeg player
The physical reality
(flerdle) Ah! I'd best say nothing. These, BTW are me, separated by a mere 60 years. Control yourself, woman. :-)
indeed
[Rosie] Awww. By the way, you might like to see the next photo too (no. 9). I only appear in ap12 :-)
High altitude bees
[Rosie] Good Lord. Why is your beehive so high off the ground? ;o)
(flerdle) Only No. 8 comes up. To get the rest I have to alter the address each time.
(pen) Surrey slugs are the most voracious creatures known to man and try to eat the thermometers.
everlasting light
[KS] Echoing what the others have said - though I don't have a problem with the logo. It's not really clear whether it's up and running yet - if this is just a mock-up then I think you need to say so. If not then it needs more than 2 books (that's all I found at any rate). The warning around the young adult books looks a bit nannyish without any books to link it to. However the main problem at the moment is the legibility - it's not easy to read and there isn't anything that jumps out to make you want to dig deeper. Best of luck with the venture.
Logo
Here is a basic mock-up for the Logo
[KS] I still can't get it to load. Not sure if it is a browser compatibility issue; I've tried both safari and firefox on a mac.
pics
[Rosie] That's right, it's just a photo not a html page with arrows and such. There is an index somewhere, but my website is pretty disorganised right now.
still looking for any website suggestions
The site is up and running, but I only have two books published at the moment, so the website is still a work in progress.
still looking for any website suggestions
The site is up and running, but I only have two books published at the moment, so the website is still a work in progress.
Who has just done some updates to the webpage
1) Pictures will have to wait until I can get them done. 2) Books waiting to be added. 3)Besides those two things, does it look better now?
re FGZstar
Can't see the picture. Told me I was not authorized to see it.
re FGZstar
Can't see the picture. Told me I was not authorized to see it.
Should Work Now
with appreciation to FGZstar
Thanks, but the logo at the top is based on the publishing logo on the back of the books. Take a look at the "peek inside" and go to the very last page: Amazon Link Here
[KS] Are you the author, proofreader, publisher, retailer and website designer? If so, to be honest, I don't think you're doing any of those 5 things very well. I just skimmed through the opening pages of Ace's Adventures and, apart from the black dog scenario being rather old hat (and unsound
Hidden textif everything was pure black, even in daylight, the dog would not show up against a black background
), the introduction page has at least two errors: comma instead of period at end of first paragraph; "answer" instead of "answered" in paragraph 3. I'd also prefer "different from" to "different than", but I'm English and picky.

Even with my love of sub-clauses and punctuation, "With this book, you, too, can be a mystery solver!" just seems too much - especially for a back cover that is supposed to grab people's attention.

Sorry to sound harsh, but my suggestion is that you should send your two books to professional publishers, with an open and optimistic mind. Take on board their comments, because they really do know what sells, and how to sell it.

Now that's what I call a speeding fine.
You can afford it.
(INJ) It would be interesting to what his income was, and the formula for calculating his fine.
A mere bagatelle
[Rosie] I read it as 300 x his daily income of £2166 based on a speed of 300kph (but I assume there would be some sort of graduated calculation before you got to 1 days income per kph)
not suspicious at all
I do like the speed camera's cunning disguise.
A fine country
In New Zealand they hide behind trees and around corners with unmarked vans.
Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...
[INJ] I agree with your expressed sentiment. In New South Wales, where I live, the R.T.A. (Roads and Traffic Authority) erect huge signs by the roadside announcing that there is a fixed 'speed camera' ahead. People still get caught travelling above the designated speed limit. Really, how stupid can some people be?
There are constant 'Letters to the Editor' in newspapers declaiming speeding fines as 'revenue raisers' and that for some obscure reason the writer feels that a fine for exceeding a speed limit is some form of tax.
There is a simple answer isn't there?
Whoa!
(INJ) If the fine is proportional to the speed this would mean someone on £100 a day (fairly modest by Swiss standards) who exceeded a limit of (say) 120 kph by 10kph would get a fine of £13,000, which is absurd. Even if the fine is only proportional to the excess it's still £1000 for a fairly minor infringement.
The actual fine is so huge that either his income is much higher than £2166 a day or some other formula is used. Logically, it ought to be proportional to the square of the speed minus the square of the speed limit thus giving the excess braking distance. Doing this, one finds

fine = 0.004 x daily income x (V2 - V2lim) with V in kph

But applying this to the ordinary geezer on £100 a day doing 130 kph in a 120 kph limit gives, coincidentally, the same £1000 as before. Maybe it's proprtional to the cube of fourth power of the speed or possibly to income above a certain level. But then if you were poor you'd have no fine at all. I can't make sense of it It's all bollocks and obviously quite beyond the innumerates at the Grauniad, a paper I read BTW.
(Duj) Of course there is and they never catch me despite a tendency to leg it. But it depends on the fine. Speeding on a motorway (say 85 mph instead of 70) is hardly arson, rape and bloody murder, except maybe in Switzerland, a very well-ordered country.

Haven't I anything better to do? Well, just tonight, no, alas.

[Rosie] You may not know that you have to pay an annual tax in order to be allowed to drive on motorways in Switzerland at all, even if you are only passing through the country. Also, it's very hard to get in and out of Switzerland without using a stretch of motorway. Cunning, eh!
Swizz swizz
[Phil] Yeah - the payment covers January to December rather than a rolling 12-month period from the date of purchase, so if you buy it in October you've been done out of two-thirds of the benefits already, and the sticker they give you to show you've paid the highway robbery tax doesn't peel off either. Hmmph.
(Phil, pen) What a horrible little place, and in so many other ways as well.
Oh, I quite liked it...once I learnt to love efficiency.
Helvetia
[Phil] Your previous: Even Steve McQueen found out that, and he was only riding a motorcycle.
You have to hand it to the Swiss
Cunning, hiding the speed camera inside a perfectly innocuous six-foot tall, four foot wide block of Emmenthal.
[SM] Speeding cheese???
[Pen] The holes are crafted to give extra downforce.
Cheese
[penelope] You didn't follow the link ImNotJohn posted?
*grooooghyere*
[SM] I know the story, was just trying to paint a different picture. I think English cheeses are faster. At least one English cheese can travel at the speed of sound; Macheddar.
(pen) But only Brie-fly. Now look what you've started.
Maybe I'll sit and watch with a pint of Wensleyd-ale!
[penelope] Gouda you top that!?
I'm a sympathetic listener - camembert your soul to me.
Well, if one can't unburden on a rock like you, Rosie, what's a roquefort?
You can Comté me out.
Come, come, Softers. You could be a little friendleerdammer than that.
Oh Software's all right, providing you approach him caerphilly.
Yes but pen -- manchegoes on a bit.
Yes, but his views are similar to mine; Edamplify them, having grater loquaciousness.
I think we should all just chalk this one down to experience.
Hmmm, you lot are starting to get my goat.
Well, there's stiltons of cheese puns to get through!
Are you sure, because I'm at a complete g-lous-cester
Actually, I've decided I'm enjoying this little vignottes.
Cheese attributes
It needs a game. Biscuits for Cheese, anyone? And then when the cheeseboard is empty, other grocery items. *rubs hands gleefully at the thought of punnage*
That's a gouda Idea, but my cheeseboard is running out of content already
Wendy said pizza retard.
May I remind you that a rolling stone gathers no mozzarella.
Have we processed far enough on this one?
Microsoft would not tolerate further cheese-related punnery - but Applewood.
[Phil] MS were always a bit primula and proper like that.
[Rab] Absolutely, I rang them up to complain, but the lady I spoke to just made fun of me, the laughing cow!
I'll tried to give them a babybel on skype, but the computer gave me a BSoD (Blue Stilton of Death).
[rab] Sorry it took me so long to respond, but I was watching some Danish Blue!
[Phil] Whilst downing a yarg of ale as well, I'd wager.
[rab] Wise words, sir! Wiser than a Derby Sage.
[Phil] Well, a sage should know his Kraft.
I think this is starting to seem a bit cheesy!
[FGZStar] No whey! That same thought occurd to me as well.
who thinks she needs to find a clever Brit who wants to move to America to marry
When I was a little girl, my mom worked with ribbons and I'd wear them in my hair. Surprisingly, my friend would ask, what's the Beaufort.
Who is already married and has no particular wish to move to America
At the risk of getting onto a more serious plane I do remember going into a Delicatessen in Georgetown (a suburb of Washington DC, for non-US readers) and seeing a cheese labelled as Double Gloucester - the English version of Cheddar!
Next to it was one labelled as Low-fat Single Gloucester!
[INJ] That would be a cheese plane, then? They do exist, mainly to take molecule-thin slices of rubbery Dutch cheese of the right size to fit on a piece of bread. BTW, what's a cheese molecule properly called? I genuinely don't know. Cheesium?
(pen) There's every molecule under the sun in cheese (maybe not uranium hexafluoride) and some of them are quite big, like vegetable fats (50-55 carbons). On the other hand some are quite small and volatile like butyric acid, the smelly feet pong.
I want to know if at about 4pm, we can sit down and Havarti.
Thinks ImNotJohn is clever, but didn't say it was him who she wanted to marry
Oh, so we are on to chemistry puns, or cheese and chemistry puns? Cheesemestry?
Mercaptan's Log - Stardate 28810 :- Uhura is still banging them out, the dirty cow.
Ooh, spooky. I think you need to take a look on orange MC, Rosie.
cheeseshop
[INJ] I just saw a cheese here advertised as a "Goats' Milk Chevre".
(FGZs) Point me a little more specifically. I can't find any reference to farting there.
My location has nothing to do with farting.
Spot the difference...
Well, I wouldn't want to try getting around London with this. How many changes can you spot? (Comparison with the real one is cheating)
Easy, easy!
There are no stations, no lines, no key, no river.
Do I win?
Are you having trouble viewing the map? It's definitely there.
[FGZ] I like the idea of leaving it mostly correct with just a few subversive entries.
I suppose I did get a bit carried away, especially with the Jubilee line..
I can see it fine now - don't know what happened before.
Now working on another one, which includes all disused stations and proposed extensions (except fleet line). Any ideas about what to do with the white city area? It's a bit of a mess.
who knows nothing about the London Underground other than the funny black circle sign
Would need to be maps of Lake Charles for me. Then, I don't even know if I'd notice many things. I can get lost in my own city. I know I'm good. Why, thank you!
Tube Map
iirc somewhere in the ether there is a tube map where you have to drag and drop ALL the station names into their correct places. fictifino where...
Drunk Map
I think that I might try putting together a tube map with all the stations replaced with drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic). My thoughts so far is that the overground could be beer, and the circle line could be mixers, with possibly the jubilee as high proof alcohol. All of the connecting stations would be cocktails, and the others brand names. I think maybe the W&C would be just cocktails, and maybe the circle line as whisky.
Who wants to share more fun with people
I think many of you would love the site www.sporcle.com I love playing there and there are some people that complain about a few things being too U.S. Centric . . . so y'all could make a good balance most likely if you make quizzes!
*waves from Vilnius*
Yay! My Morphsuit has arrived!
[FGZstar] Pictures! Better yet, wear it to a pilg (see Orange game) and I'll try to resist the temptation to superglue the zipper shut.
BQULrfMYJfYgdDG
E93S6T hop hey la la ley http://avtozastivxux.sweb.wankah.cz
I'm not going to that URL, I might end up talking like him.
Don't Be Surly
And a jaunty "hop hey la la ley" to you to, Mr., Mrs. or Ms. XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg.
XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg
[SM] I did a quick Google search for the name 'XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg', and nothing came up. On the other hand, if you remove the 'cg' from the end, you have slightly better luck. This leads me to suspect that Mr, Mrs or Mz XhL FMG IvY vcDqu (whose homepage is here) may be operating under a (frankly, rather transparent) pseudonym.
Now Wash Your Hands Please
[SM] I followed your links and now I feel dirty.
translation
It does read a lot better if you feed it through Google translate.
Gibberish
Well, in most language options at least one recognizable word appears. I have noted sleep, even and Hugo after a few tries.
Ffolineb
Translating into Welsh provides only one phrase I recognised, viz Ysgol gynradd Gymraeg = Welsh primary school, and there is commendable gender agreement. That's what it's all about, then.
Who doesn't want to be a spammer . . .
None of that makes any sense to me . . . I'm just sad that no more people seem to be playing my Literary Rhyme Time quiz (or rating or nominating it . . . hint, hint). I took my time thinking of clever clues for that quiz! See? http://www.sporcle.com/games/kagomeshuko/literaryrhymetime Er, does HTML work . . . Quiz is here
Quiz site
I did look, and got about a third, (and saved a cached copy of the quiz) but I'm not really interested in registering. So I'm an invisible quiz-taker, and I suspect I'm not alone in this. The other thing is, as you said earlier, all the quizzes are mostly US-centric and yes, while it would be nice to make it more international, I feel rather too outnumbered by all the US guys to make any perceptible difference. Sorry.

Haven't got 'John's Stinky White Vegetables', because I can't think of a suitable literary surname, but I suspect you should be ashamed of yourself for that one.

Somewhere on my hard disk I've got a punny work-in-progress quiz a bit like this one of yours. Mine contains entries such as 'many-sized virtue' - 'paragon'. 'King's son publishes' - 'prints'. Some need more work, like that 'paragon' one. The clue doesn't fit the answer very closely.

[SM]
Hidden textBunyan
[K] I enjoyed the quiz, and got 15, which I thought was not too bad for the time limit
Hidden textwould have been 16 if I had been able to spell 'Malory' correctly; *hangs head in shame*
.
GQfQKSGtdcrLDjEcxtc
1EEjv2 hi all ?heey ? messus mangle
I think Simons Mith is the one to answer you there, sHEvKENZEyy. I believe he studied that very subject at university.
Have we all been shamed into silence?
[pen] Excellent! I don't have any good pics of myself to hand to try, but here's something appropriate.
who is thoroughly confused by pen's link
What's going on there?
[KS] I believe that is penelope herself in the picture (and a rather good picture it is too).
Another picture, that is, not another picture of penelope.
Posters
[aak] Thangyew. A friend of mine took it, insiting that it was homework for a portrait photography course she was doing. I was leaning inside her old garden shed holding two foil reflectors in outstretched arms. The wonders of photography, eh? But it'll do for my next book jacket, heheh!
Posters
Interesting in that Raak's is actually Raak.
[ISP] Well spotted! I am in fact a 28-year-old woman with a shaved head except for a tightly woven topknot and massively muscled shoulders and arms. Beware my biceps, for they can crack walnuts.
[Raak] I'd always thought you were in your 30s. Strange how things get confused :)
[Phil] It's a hard life as a Balkan mercenary.
This weekend, I am mostly...
catching up with a schoolfriend who is making the trip from Galway. I still find it staggering that I have had some friends for more than 30 years. Tomorrow, I have earmarked picking sloes and making sloe gin as one of our principal activities, and I notice that it's going to piss it down with rain. *rse. On Sunday (when it will also piss it down with rain), we will make an early start to the Vogelmaarkt in Antwerp so we can breakfast on pieces of fried fish known as kibbeling (yum) and waffles as big as our heads covered in chocolate and whipped cream, before watching the live kitchen gadget demonstrations, marvelling at the Moroccan spice stalls and buying trinkets and savouries according to our whim. (Is 'whim' like 'sheep' in that the plural is the same as the singular?)
Colloquial inconsistency
(pen) Shurely if you can say "piss" you can say "arse"? I know I can, and in style. I think the plural of "whim" is boring old "whims" and of "sheep", "sheeps". Just ask a Frenchman.
Old mate
(pen) I have a friend (whom I have seen recently) of 57 years' acquaintance. Is this a greater proportion of my life than 30 years is of yours? Come on, have to hurry you.
Quite so
Like Rosie I have a friend that I first met at primary school, so that is also 57 years, and I am younger than Rosie.
old acquaintance
I am 44 and married the person I sat next to in Infant School.
posters
I seem to have missed the boat a bit, but I've stil created an advert
Fail
[FGZ] Hmm. well done on the typography etc, but really, swearing? Do you really need to?
FGZStar's Poster
That went over my head I'm afraid.
The plurals of words . . .
are sheep for sheep and fish or fishes for fish. Sheeps is only a form of a verb. Sheeps means grazes. Yes, the plural of "whim" is boring old "whims." However,there is "cacti" and "cactuses." Even more fun is that there is "octopi," "octopuses," and "octopodes." More plurals fun: rhinoceroses, rhinoceri, rhinocerotes.
Yes, I'm afraid I also fond FGZstar's poster both meaningless and mildly offensive.
[Plural] I still occasionally come across people who insist "data" can only be a plural. Funny that they don't make the same fuss about "agenda".
[INJ/SM] I presume it was intended as the opposite of the magnificent "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters of the Second World War.
Kornfläken
(ISP) I think "data" can be both but I agree that to insist that it is always plural is pretentious and a bit annoying, a bit like government propagandums.
(Phil) Don't quite remember 'em, but if you say so. :-)
[Phil] Thanks. I'm not overly conversant with WWII UK memes unfortunately. In fact, Mr. Chad (known elsewhere as Kilroy) is the sum total of my knowledge of the matter. Or was, since I now know something else thanks to you and FGZStar.
I recognised the reference to 'Keep Calm and Carry On' - available on mugs near you - but still don't see what FGZstar means. I'm happy to accept that it's just a generational thing.
About datum and agendum
Datum and agendum are singular. One singular piece of data and one singular thing to do, rather than a list. The minute it is two (or more) they become data and agenda. So, "What's on the agenda?" is correct being people are going to expect more than one item. If I say the only thing on the agenda is the meeting, that's wrong, it's the agendum. Yes, I am just being a grammar nazi. I don't really care that much about those words.
To more interesting topics, like how this forum works
I'm trying to do the hidden words thing.
Hidden textIs this how I hide words?
Wow! I must be smart!
I figured that out!
Hidden textI must be smart!
At least, that is not when trying to make text small.
[INJ} I am given to understand by today's youth that "to bail" would indicate giving up in a dramatic way. It would appear to come from "bailing out (of an aeroplane)". Incidentally, "Keep Calm and Carry On" is available on a mug in my own kitchen.
agendum?
[Kagome...] If you have a lst of things to be done (from the latin gerundive), or an agenda, and it only contains one item, it is still a list of things to be done. So I disagree, and would say that an agenda for a meeting is always an agenda, regardless of how many items are on it. More specifically, each item on an agenda would be an agendum.
[Kag] And you got the singular of Nazi wrong too; it's Nazus. :-)
[Phil] I have it on very good authority that each thing on an agenda is an itum.
with an upside-down crown
[Phil] I have a "Keep Calm and Carry On" t-shirt. frogstar has one that says "Now Panic and Freak Out". To date I don't think we've worn them at the same time.
[KS] A datum is a data point and so is a count noun with a plural of data. However data meaning information is a mass noun and takes a singular agreement.
Everybody Keep Calm
The whole 'Just Bail' Idea related to something one of the guys I know from my accommodation, who once said 'let's just bail' at a party, and so it stuck, and got written on a large board and put in the window. It was then at a recent poster sale that we saw a 'keep calm' poster, and decided to change it. It was initially going to be 'Just Bail', but this would not fit with the whole idea of an odd number of lines, so the expletive got added. We are now planning on getting the poster printed up at A2 or A1 size, and put on the kitchen wall.
Now Carry On...
I have now had a tinker with the old photoshop, and have made something else. Hopefully you'll all find this one more to your liking.
Whoops!
Ignore the above. This is actually the link.
[FGZ] You want to put up that helpful new tube map you've been working on...
bailing
And I thought that bailing, or bailing out, was a nautical term . . .
US Politics
So if Obama bailed out the banks, does that mean he dumped all the water out of them?
Damn Yankees
I believe that in the form stated it is more a metaphor for removing someone from the tender mercies of the law by posting a bond so that they don't have to sit in a cell until they are called to answer for their deeds. Of course, the financial "experts" behind the whole meltdown will never be called to answer for their deeds, so it all metaphorically falls apart. Rather like The Bailout.
Baling out
This is enlightening: bale or bail
Wouldn't "Bale Out" be some sort of harvest-related activity, possibly taking place in WWII and involving steam tractors and Land Girls?
Bale Out
And I thought it would be taking blocks of hay out of the barn.
The Phrase Finder
The phrase finder site is great! It is often a start for my research on the origins of phrases when I write that type of article, and often quoted as the source as many sources are mentioned on the pages.
Keep calm and swear your head off
I was at Liverpool Street station at the weekend, and was mildly shocked (although not, being me, actually offended) to walk past a (shut) kiosk proudly displaying a greetings card with the message "KEEP CALM AND FUCK OFF" to any and all passers by. I suspect that Mary Whitehouse would not have approved...
[jim] I suspect you are right. Nothing good ever came of telling that lady to keep calm.
Acronym
Yes, I believe she formed a campaign originally entitled Clean Up National Television.
Acronyms
TLA has just been closed. Any ideas for a new game?
Anything like a poetry parody game?
I think that I shall never see
A purple cow that looks like thee
This poem is a pure mess
With lots of apologies to Gilet Burgess.
*controversial* a game of Mornington Crescent perhaps?
MC game
Well, we could... Could someone just go over the rules quickly? It's been so long.
Tongue in Cheek
[KagomeShuko] See: The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

Though to be fair I saw no problem with your mother's snoring since it followed the same beat as my favourite limerick by Spike Milligan:
Things that go bump in the night
Should really not give one a fright
It's the hole in each ear
Which lets in the fear
That, and the absence of light


If we've got to the point where people would object to Spike if he were to post that, we are in trouble.
If we've got to the point where Spike posts that, then the dead are walking the earth and we have greater worries than scansion.
True. :/
Post-Hallowe'en
Is it just me who uses the apostrophe there?
[Pen] Surely it should be 'Hallow'e'en'
erm...
Missing S & missing V? Perhaps. But it's deffo not the way Hallmark spell it.
[Pen] I was starting from 'All Hallows Eve' but then had to account for the final 'n' so I've taken Halloween to be an abbreviated form of 'All Hallows Eventide'.
[penelope] You've missed the apostrophe from penelop'
[Phil] I've missed a lot of things in my time. *sigh*
I'd be grateful for more movers and shakers in the limericks game please - to set good examples of rhyming and scansion to those perhaps less accustomed to the sound and feel of a good limerick, and perhaps also to show Marc that there are other subjects apart from sex to be limericked, and repeated references tend to make people drift away from the game.
[Pen] That's unfair to Marc. You have to go back over 20 screens and 50-100 moves to see the last time he tried anything even remotely naughty. And he got told off last time as well. By you...
hmmm
Really? Apologies if it seemed unjust - but I have that impression. I will try to adjust my stance.
I'm with Pen
Though not, perhaps, in singling out Marc. I think there have a few too many somewhat coarse limericks across all the servers recently. We need a few rules of thumb here like:
- First lines ending 'Phuket' (or Nantucket, etc.) are never going to be funny
- Filth is always funnier if it's not signalled in advance.
Add your own.
(INJ) I agree more or less with your filth stance though if someone puts up an obviously dirty first line there is a strong temptation to carry on with the bawdiness. Unexpected filth is much funnier; years ago on PantsMC I put up the innocent first line:
"There was a young fellow from Streatham strettum", which was followed by
"Who chewed off his bollocks and ate 'em"
Aha, I thought, this is good.
The worst thing about too many of the current limericks is the lack of rhythm. I look at them and groan and think "Why bother?"
Da diddly diddly dum
(INJ, Rosie et al.) Agreeing with the aforementioned points of lax scansion and over-active glands; but I would add that limericks which start with an obvious hope that they'll end up coarsely can be funny when subsequent moves elegantly sidestep it.
However, everything in moderation...
sidestepping
I like the sidestepping thing. It seems particularly English and I find I use it a lot here - especially as I'm in the lavisicous hotbed of the Netherlands and sometimes pretending to be more archetypally (sp?) English than I actually am seems to be the only way to avoid lowering myself to their standards. Oh. That means I am very English after all, doesn't it?
(And that rumour about the Dutch being liberal and easy-going? Don't believe a word of it. Most of them are Calvinists. It's a more conservative and male-dominated business and academic environment than any I have encountered before.
*waves from Leipzig*
With regards to Nantucket
I do have to say that there is a funny and not at all dirty limerick. If you'll take a look here. (Yes, I know there is a misspelled word. It was posted more than two years ago.
I always want to rhyme bucket and Nantucket with Kirby Puckett.
Guess who's back...
In response to Simon's Mith, who asked for the tube map a while back, It will be posted when I can find that pesky link (I think it's down the back of the sofa somewhere). I am also now working at an anagram Europe map, which may be posted soon.
Jellied Eel
Does anybody eat that? One time I thought I saw somebody write "Jelly Diel." I don't know if they were ignorant or joking.
[KS] I've eaten it - nice taste, slightly odd texture. Eels used to be a very important part of people's diet in the South and East of England. Like oysters it's had a bit of an up and down ride in terms of prestige.
Eels are now endangered in the UK. There's a big tradition of eating them here in the Netherlands too ('paling'), especially smoked, but the flavour is a bit too strong for me. I suppose I'd eat them if I was absolutely starving and there was nothing else.
The Eastenders used to love their jellied eels and mash in the old days. I have eaten it down Petticoat Lane back in the '60s.
My dad loves jellied eels, still eats them. In fact, only last week on the Hairy Bikers show they had jellied eels.
I've had smoked eel, thinly sliced on canapés at a provincial art gallery (which I've just realised sounds a bit like the start of an Alan Bennett monologue). Very nice, IMHO. Also, I seem to remember smoked eel paté, but I can't remember when or where. I don't remember disliking it though.
Never tried 'em
Jellied Eels
They don't sound appetizing to me (of course, I don't/can't eat seafood - most of it, just the smell of it cooking, makes me sick to my stomach). I think the person who used "Jelly diel" thought it was some sort of pastry come to think of it.
Deels
Had eel for lunch today (in Bruges and in a virulent green sauce), partly prompted by this discussion. I enjoyed it. I also really enjoyed Bruges, which I was visiting for the first time - what a gorgeous town!
Kicking up my eels
Best eel I ever had was in Tokyo, many years ago now, at a dedicated unagi restaurant. Very good indeed. (Also, I fell instantly in love with my server, who looked like a young Susan Sarandon.)
*eels over*
I have not tried eel, as far as I know, but given my general dislike of eating animals aquatic, there is a good chance I would not like it. That said, it would very much depend on how it is done.
Eelsprit d'elverscalier
I should have said "Ead over eels" rather than "Kicking up my eels".
Jampanese Language
I am wondering if jellied eels would be "Unagi Zerī" in Japanese, or perhaps they use "Jam" and it'd be "Unagi Jamu." Just don't get in a jam confusing unagi and usagi. Two very different animals!
Prezzies
I didn't get any eels for my birthday, thankfully!
*wears 'igh 'eels*
So has anyone got snow yet?
A few flurries in Leeds yesterday - just cold (about -2) & sunny at the moment.
big fat raindrops though
[penelope] Not here, alas.
Roll on global warming!
Snow yesterday evening and thick snow this morning, but not enough to lie.
[Raak] Oh I dunno. I'll lie at the drop of a hat.
'igh 'eels
Come on pen, you are a girl, you can always wear high heels whether or not there is snow.
It's snowing in Edinburgh! And just in time, as they've just finished building Christmas!
[FGZ] Shedding it down now.
Sunday lunchtime in Zuid Holland
Still below zero, still sunny, still no snow...
Parky
(pen) Same as here. The weather newsgroup are absolutely out of their prams because it's cold and there's NO SNOW. I sometime wonder about the company I keep. There's at least another week of this Siberian NW Russian stuff.
We woke up to an inch or so of snow on Friday morning. A lot of it is still around. Our little back roads are like ice rinks :-(
We must have had about 6-8 inches since last night. The buses continue to run (albeit stopping short of some of the further-flung places). I look forward to one flake falling within the M25 later in the week and the end of the universe being declared by the media, again.
State of Emergency
(rab) Not a whole flake, shurely? We had a little here tonight, well within the noisy racetrack/car park, and I have had a level 16" (39 cm) in the back garden (14 Jan 1987). Your point is well made, though.
*sigh*
Minus 3, overcast, dry. Still no snow in Zuid Holland.
The walk to work was a bit treacherous, mostly cos the road in runs east-west with a hill to the south, so when it snows it doesn't melt. Poor motorist being dug out of a turning into it. Heavy dumpage as we speak.
Unseasonal snow
We even had snow here on the island which caused the usual chaos. I understand that the Isle of Donkies had it worst (being so much further north) and its airport remains closed again today because of frozen snow. We had to do without UK papers this weekend because of the weather. No crossword - bah!
Where are you, Softers? I forget - sorry
[Software] *taps the internet*
Where am I?
A familiar question, especially after a night on the tiles. In the deep south, Jersey.
Mass panic alert
There were 7 inches of Snow in Edinburgh. The capital city of Scotland went completely to shit today because of a little bit of snow. Schools closed, traffic halted, train service gone haywire. Oh, but on a happy note, the deadline for my Art and Design portfolio got moved back a day! Happy times!
There seems to be this curious attitude in Britain that everywhere else handles an unexpected dump of snow better. It's simply not true. Stevie might like to inform you about how badly they seem to handle it in the US and from experience, they don't handle it at all well in Russia. People are just generally less inclined to whine about it in other places, or you just don't hear about it in the UK. It's like me being asked by my family and friends how I handle the heat in Australia. The answer - same as the Aussies: I close the curtains and stay inside with the air-conditioning running full bore.
[FGZ] Respectfully, I beg to differ. This is the most snow I've seen in a major UK urban area, and people seem to be handling it pretty well as far as I can tell. Driving is extremely difficult. A colleague of mine who lives in a cul-de-sac in Newington said that someone drove into it by accident on Sunday, and it took them 45 minutes to get out again (with help from the local residents). Another was unable to drive her car into her garage and has had to abandon it in front of a "Do not park in front of this notice" notice at work, because the car parks on campus are inaccessible. The fact that buses are running at all - albeit sporadically and with some diversions - is pretty impressive in my opinion.

Closing schools seems like a ludicrous overreaction, but actually it's pretty sensible. On the one hand it reduces pressure on the buses and the roads in general. On the other there is also the chance (admittedly more so in rural areas) that conditions could worsen and the kids wouldn't be able to get home and would have to stay at school overnight. This happened at my old school (albeit after I left) and it sounded like a bloody nightmare for all concerned. And, of course, teachers don't always live in the catchment areas of the school (can't afford to if it's a good one) so they'd be short-staffed as well.

But, hey, ho, as long as it allows you to hand in something late without incurring a penalty, then that's ok.

Snow point in whining
[nfras] In the U.S., the degree of coping-with-winter is highly variable. As you'd expect, it depends on what the particular place is used to. I've lived in Michigan, where they handle (normal) snowfall easily and as a matter of course. The salt trucks are out, the plows are out, and the roads are generally cleared pretty easily and efficiently. I've also lived in Virginia, which was a very different story. And of course that makes sense -- a city in Virginia, which gets one major snowfall every couple of years, is not going to have an army of snowplows on hand to cope with that. And neither they should. Same goes for Edinburgh.
Leeds, which is where I'm working at the moment, has about 3cms of snow in the centre and maybe up to 10 in higher, outlying areas. I lived here in the 70s and 80s and this is well within the norms for the city of those days at least. There are a few individual cases of people having problems, but basically the city is coping fine with all public transport running as normal.
Turns out that the Embra experience depends on where you are in the city. I swung into town earlier and was surprised at how little snow there was. You need to head south beyond the railway line to see the real stuff. A colleague who lives a few hundred yards south of me showed me a picture of his house taken earlier today, with about a foot (or more) of snow on his wheelie bin. I guess the closer you get to the sea, the less snow there will be. Take a trip down to Blackford or the Braids if you can as it's really spectacular. A very impressive igloo has been built by the campus bus stop. I've got pictures which I'll share next time I'm near my USB cable.
What campus? I know there's a half finished igloo by the ECA, because it was the architecture students that built it.
KB
Here's an igloo, agnother igloo
Here's what it looks like in the Deep South if you can't get there.
Tierra Nevada del Sur
(rab) Too right. Ten inches level depth in my back garden. Nothing moves, especially me, except to measure the bloody stuff. I've no tea and I bet the Co-op hasn't got any either
[Rosie] Given your inordinate mastery of all things meteorological, why didn't you stock up?
(Phil) Your commendation is noted and appreciated but it should not be assumed that such sagacity extends to other areas of life. Actually, I didn't believe it would be anything like as bad because the Met Office has cried wolf on numerous occasions. In this case, they were right but a slight change in the wind direction would have meant the snow would have either landed somewhere else or hardly anywhere. As it turned out it was just right for this area to get a dumping. There's very little in the west of Surrey or north of the Thames. I won't be going out tonight; too many steep hills between here and the pub and I'm far too old for heroics.
tea-mergency
[Rosie] I have stock! There are three boxes of proper English tea in the cellar. I can post one over...
[Rosie] I have friends in Chaldon who will have plenty in store. Do you have a team of trained homing huskies?
(pen) The Co-op had oodles of their routine non-posh tea. All is well.
(INJ) This road, the quickest route, would probably be closed even to huskies.
The photo in the above link doesn't do justice to the steepness of the hill. To the left of the camera the road is essentially level and the part of the hill shown is about 1 in 5, steepening further down. Approaching it in a car the road seems to go over the edge of a cliff. I think the reason is due to the use of a fairly wide-angle lens, which always has this effect. Using a long lens you can make even a railway gradient look insurmountable.
royal tea
[Rosie] Thanks goodness. I love the Co-op, especially since they revamped themselves. Their 'Indian Prince' tea makes a wonderful, ordinary cuppa and is as good as anything Twinings makes.
'eels or, uh, 'ills
What's a hill? j/k . . . where I live is very flat, but I've seen much steeper!
steep hills
If you ride an adult trike down a really steep hill, you can go really fast.
(KS, G) England is surprisingly hilly, though mostly on a small scale. Wales and Scotland are seriously hilly, mountainous in places, and any level piece of land is occupied by a rugby or football pitch. The hill in the picture drops 250 ft in about 1/3 mile so your trike had better have good brakes.
(pen) Your Cop-op sounds a good deal classier than mine but I can walk there, which gets one off one's bum if nothing else.
A good cuppa after a walk
[Rosie] Splendid. There's nothing better after a walk to buy teabags - a good cuppa.
Midweekery
So. No news really. Grey and gloomy and only just below freezing here. We could do with a sparkling winter day, I reckon.
'Ot innit?
Above freezing overnight last night. A positively balmy 5° walking in to work. A little sheen of water over the still glassy ice on the pavements.
Scorchio!
5°C here too, and 3°C overnight - feels positively balmy. I didn't even wear gloves this morning! We didn't have as much snow as the UK, so our pavements are now mostly clear. The ditches are still filled with billowing drifts though.
Weather
Our weather is crazy. It's been from -1.6666666666666667C (29F) at the lowest on some days and today the high was around 21.666666666666668C (71F)!
I tried to guess the temperature in Celsius and my guess was a tiny bit high, but I ended up saying that I was a bit high.
She just might be . . . though I don't know on what. Helium, maybe? But most likely, sugar.
It seems that the snow has finally cleared! Shame, because it means there is not chance of my looming examination being postponed. I suppose I should do at least some revision, then!
Recurring nightmares
(KS) Not enough 6's. :-)
Court in the act
I was in court today, and I realized that (with the possible exception of a wedding I once attended), this was a first for me. Let me hasten to add that I was not there for any bad reason. It wasn't even to contest the $60 ticket I got for jaywalking last week.
Balls in court
I've been a number of times; and on each occasion I've been sent away because nothing was actually happening.
Serial offender
Two appearances in magistrates courts (Oxted 1978, Croydon 1987) for Driving with Undue Care and Attention. First one, guilty - quite a big fine, second one - Case Dismissed, cockup on the part of the then-new Crown Prosecution Service. My cousin, a solicitor now retired said that if you saw the shambles that is the back office of most police stations you'd wonder how they ever manage to prosecute anybody.
Young and Offensive
I have never been in court, though that may be likely to change if they ever find out who did poke Camilla with that stick at the student protests.
[Cross-posted in other places] Anybody want a single ticket to the recording of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, this Saturday (18th Dec) in Crawley? Cost price £9. email phil at philspub dot co dot uk. First come first served.
ISIHAC
[Phil] Damn it! That date is my sister's birthday. Sorry, old chap, but the £9 must remain in my wallet.
Numbers
666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 . . . is that enough, [Rosie]?
I'm too sexy for my math
I found that last post very sixy.
I found it really annoying ;^)
Blind drunk. At 7.30pm. For shame. Bloody students.
Let me correct that
Blind Drunk. At 7.30am. For shame. Bloody lecturers.
Moderation in all things, dammit
Mellow. At 1230 am. For shame. Drink-driving laws.
(KagShuk) Well, not really, but a commendable effort. Try these: 142857 X 7, 25641 X 39, 1369863 X 73.
Rosie surely knows this, but it's fun to multiply 142857 by all sorts of numbers. For the geeks among us.
Court in the act
I've been in court lots of times. I was the court reporter in our local magistrates court for about a year. Wonderful job - like watching a whole day of soap operas. There was the woman fined for keeping Shetland ponies in her kitchen, the father fined for punching the upstart who copped a feel of his teenage daughter at her birthday party, the businessman who bought his way out of a driving ban by paying a huge fine, but wore Tweety-Pie socks under his sober business suit... all recorded in detail.
I haven't had a drink since a glass of red wine last Monday. It's about time... (it's a bad idea to drink when I'm cooking - things tend to go wrong - and I cook every night.)
Who does have a calculator on her computer
I could do those math problems by hand, but it'd take too long before I head off to bed, so the computer calculator is it.
142857x7=999999, 25641x39=999999, 1369863x73=99999999

A bunch of nines . . . how about a bunch of bananas?
Quiet
Hello? Anybody there?
Currently trundling through a landscape that looks like an infrared photograph. All the green stuff is completely white. No snow but the thickest frost I've ever seen.
shush - I'm hoovering
Currently blasting through the going-away-for-Christmas-but-bringing-back-friends-for-New-Year cleaning. Veeeerrrryyy slow thaw going on, but it's good to know that it's warm enough for the salt and grit on the roads to work.
Merry Christmas!
HC
Have a good one
[KS] I assume Niblet Woofles is the one in the middle, holding Valerie Bridget and Briana.
no people, two dogs
Santa in middle. White and tan dog (as reindeer) is Niblet. Black and tan dog (as Santa) is Woofles. Valerie, Bridget, and Briana are not in the picture.
I'm back
My absence was enforced by 'the weather'. A couple of weeks ago a small but nasty storm decided to travel across my little bit of territory. In the process of doing so it deposited about 75mm of rain and hailstorms the size of a florin in about half of an hour. Regrettably it also targeted me with lots of high voltage sparkly things. The aftermath was somewhat sobering, even though I was quite sober at the time. At two in the afternoon it became as dark as it was at eight that evening (I checked) and then IT happened. Casualties so far have all been computer related/connected. Computer: fried; hard drives: fried; back ups: fried; UPS: fried; modem: fried; router: fried; weather station: suspect (i.e. yet to be proven).
Oddly enough - and I'm assuming that the telephone line was the ingress for this devilish behaviour - the two telephone lines and the various devices attached survived unscathed. Even the ADSL filters exhibit normal behaviour. The circuit breaker in the 'fuse box' dropped out and, at least to date, no other damage seems to have been inflicted.
I am now using a new bright and shiny computer thingy (I hope that my insurance company will come to the party else I'll be skint).
Circumstance now dictates the use of Windows 7 (although I suppose I could install my original XP) which, despite all the media praise, I find rather odd. Is it possible that I am becoming a Luddite?
(Dujon) That sounds pretty dreadful and ironically it's the kind of weather that I like. If not the telephone line could it have been caused by an induced current from a nearby bolt of lightning. Was your house nearly struck, for instance? Some people I know disconnect everything computer-related if there's a storm about, something I regard as a bit chicken, like hiding under the table, but it might have worked. I don't know. It wouldn't have made any difference if the damage was caused by induced currents.
Meanwhile, we've had the coldest December for over a century but it's now slowly relenting and it felt positively balmy outside tonight with a temperature of 2°C and light rain. It should get a bit milder still in the next few days but the average will still be below 0°C, over 5° below what it should be. Good riddance to December, as ever. Gloomy, cold and miserable with the steaming dog-turd of Christmas as seasoning. Let's do a restart and have a new year.
Oddly, despite the temperature having risen 10°ree;C in the past week, it actually feels colder in my flat now than it did then. I suspect that a number of people in the other flats are away and we're not getting the benefit of their heating. Also ours was just left on a 'stop the pipes from freezing' setting while we were away, and I think it's taking some time to warm the walls back up. Beautiful old stone buildings - donchalove'em? And we're moving into a bigger one!
Grumbling and bumbling
[Rosie] Induced currents? I would say that that is quite probable. The circuit breaker dropping out also indicates either some imbalance in the power circuit or an outright over-current surge. I suspect both. The weather station seems to be defunct - in the sense that it's not reporting any wind data and will not 'talk' to the computer via its com port. The anemometer is, of course, well above the roof (it is 12 metres above ground level).
[rab] I understand your coolness. When Mrs Duj and I bought the property in which we now reside it had been unoccupied for three or four months. Unlike your own home ours is just a simple brick and timber construction and would not, I assume, have the same heat sink properties as a stone building. In our case the house can still be cool but simply living in the place makes it far more comfortable than it was when it was deserted.
Happy new year to all!
Happy New Year!!!
It's 1/1/11!!!
That's 1derful!
1-dering in, late as usual
Happy New Year, everyone. So far so good - friends over for dinner on NYE, followed by fireworks just outside the house - as did everyone else in the street. Together, they all made a fantastic display. And last night, an authentic Chinese meal, made by one of our lovely houseguests, who brought a box of cooking kit with her on the ferry over from England so she could cook for us. Five dishes... and all of it scrumptious. I cooked the rice - and made some strawberry ripple icecream with the last of last summer's strawberries from the freezer. Roll on spring...
erm... hullo?
Anyone home? Me again... first day back in the office for me this morning (it means leaving home before the sun is up, but I caught sunrise along the motorway - most spectacularly red for half a minute or so before the partial eclipse which made it all dark again) and apart from my PC forgetting to show me the server where all my work is stored, I think everything is exactly as I left it, almost three weeks ago. So... how was it for you?
yep, everything in my office is exactly as I left it last night :-)
S'allright for you
Not all of us can find a full-time job! (and I had to forego a week's leave in October because of a magazine deadline and add the days off onto my Xmas leave - which did rankle a bit as I was denied an autumn trip to England!)
It's still a Bank Holiday here!
No Uni until next week. Bloody lazy are us students. I decided to take a trip to London. Will be visiting a certain crescent, although will avoid the transport museum, as it is overpriced.
Ice Cream
Do strawberries have nipples? BTW I didn't know banks could go on holiday.
Is there something catching?
If there's something catching, I think I need to stay away from these forums and Gier's posts. They are quite crazy!
Isn't it lovely and warm today! 12.3 degrees already, and it's not even 11am :-)
coatless
I went out on an errand without a coat this morning. 10C here in Zuid Holland - balmy!
Sick
I have been knocked sideways by the 'flu. Lying in bed MCing on my mobile.p
[Software] Is a 'mobile p' the same as a gazunder?
Yes
Saw Spamalot tonight
Software, did you eat any Spam while sick?
Spam
[Giertrud] Never touch the nasty stuff. I saw Spamalot on Broadway in one of the pre-opening shows. Got real cheap tickets and had a great time!
Burns night tonight - hope you're all practising your 'Address to a Haggis'.
I forgot. I was shopping for shoes on Ebay. I haven't yet seen a haggis on sale in the Netherlands.
[Pen] It's OK, there's still time to go out and kill a sheep.
I tried vegetarian haggis last night, which was nicer than I feared. Might try the real thing next year.
Sheepwise
[INJ] They only keep'em as pets here. I can't actually buy lamb in our local supermarket. Fools...
[Pen] Easier to catch one then.
Weekending. Belated Christmas gift giving at sister-in-laws this evening.
Weekendingagain
Has no-one really had anything to say in the past week? Hmmph! Not much to report here and no real plans for the weekend - but a MAHOOSSIVE basket of ironing to do.
Ironing
That's what rugby matches on the TV are for.
What???
And make it more of a chore than it needs to be? I'd prefer a spaghetti western or WW2 film...
Ironing your hand
Nah, sport's more efficient to iron to. You can hear from the commentary whether it's a bit you really want to be watching and if you miss anything significant they'll almost certainly repeat it.
Ironing?
Ironing? What's that? In the states, it's the Super Bowl this weekend. Lots of handegg.
Super Bowl
Mmm . . . sounds like it could hold a lot of pretzels.
Sunnink to say
(pen) I'm building a telescope. It has a 5" lens that someone gave me but of course you have to mount it, as Andy Gray would say.
The weather is lovely here, now that it has stopped raining. For the moment.
summink to say
Im just going to say something so KagomeShuko's portrait of Father Christmas finally disappears off the top of the page.
This may involve gratuitous line breaks

or even spurious paragraph breaks
but who cares?
In other news, it's fair in Rotterdam this morning - sunny, blue skies, 8C, and the hellebore in the garden is about to bloom - for the first time in 2 years.

Hooray!
It worked!
Hellebore
Now you can go fishing by crushing the hellebore and throwing into a pool. I am unreliably informed this will 'stun' the fish.
A quick bit of market research. If you went into a cafe/bar at lunchtime for a panini, what filling would you want?
Paninos
If I went in just once then probably something in the Ham & Cheese line - if I went in regularly I'd want a selection. Last Saturday Mrs INJ and I shared a Mushroom and Gorgonzola and a Tuna Melt.
[Phil] Generally, anything containing no cheese and not full of glop. Sweet Chilli Chicken, Ham and Piccalilli and Smoked Mackerel and Salad are the things I've had recently at a cafe I often go to for lunch at the weekend. The Ham (when they have it) is proper ham, of course, not vacuum-packed water-filled slices of reconstituted mechanically recovered meat. The Piccalilli might also have been homemade, not poured from a jar of clonmult.
Toasted Salad?
[Raak] Salad in a panini? I assume that Phil's intending these to be served hot, whereas your suggestions sound like excellent sandwich fillings.
Lifficles
Marvellous Raak. I love the "BECCLES (pl. n.) The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemployed guerrilla dentist." It reminds me of two things about my younger sister. She had a throry that you only get those buttons in bacon when there's a Labour government. She also had a lot of difficulty one weekend evening in the pub (many years ago, of course) when a handsome young man told he he was an 'armydentist'. She tried to fasten the two words together, like 'taxidermist', and couldn't understand what the job was.
Re; panini ham'n'cheese is the default filling, but I'd also go for perhaps hot roast beef with wholegrain mustard, and the smoked mackerel sounds good too. Can you lift the lid afterwards to stuff some watercress in?
Some colleagues of mine had to go on a trip to Flums (a town somewhere in darkest Switzerland) recently. The name seemed horribly familiar for some reason, but I couldn't think why I might ever have heard of the place. Eventually I tracked it down to the Meaning of Liff. FLUMS: Women who only talk to each other at parties.
Panini
Interesting from the responses I've had so far, here and elsewhere, that no-one has suggested anything vaguely Italian (with the exception of funghi con gorgonzola).
[INJ] Now I think of it, the Smoked Mackerel one was an untoasted baguette, but the Sweet Chilli Chicken is a toasted panini, and includes some lettucey things and chopped gherkins.
UN-Italian panini
[Phil] I suspect it's because the Italians would never take cheap bread and squish it between hot plates to make it palatable, let alone consider it a delicacy. It's a rather recent lunch-comestible-vendor's invention.
[pen] Neither would my favorite Norwich café. Only the best ciabatta!
panino
[rab] thank you

[Phil] Brie, bacon and tomato is a personal fave when I'm feeling evil.
[pen] I used to get my lunchtime panino/i in a food court in Dublin, cooked by Italians. They had a choice of 4 each day, and were various combinations of parma ham, bresaola, aubergine, olives, mozzarella, basil, pesto, sundried tomato etc. Always delicious, and great with a large espresso.
in Dublin, cooked by Italians...
[Phil] If I was feeling mean, I'd point out that you may have just described immigrants selling a bastardised version of what Dubliners might consider foreign food. But I'm not. I'm just hungry. It's the last of the proper British pork chops tonight (ie more than 4mm thick), when the windy miller finally gets home.
Anything that doesn't involve potatoes and/or coleslaw counts as foreign food in Ireland :-)
The reason I asked in the first place is that I have a "Panini Grill" which does great toasted sandwiches, but I want to take advantage of the lunchtime panini market. My personal preference for fillings seems to be miles away from what other people want/expect, for which information I'm very grateful.
Market Research
[Phil] I'd suggest going round a few of your local coffee shops just before lunch time and see what they have most of on their shelves. You can be sure they've done the research. The only difference about your trade is that you could probably go a little dryer and saltier.
Mind you this definitely sounds like 'teaching your grandmother'.
[INJ] This assumes that supply = demand. There are at least two canteens that I've encountered that would run out of certain things very quickly on a daily basis and never increase their order of those things. You could even ask 'Do you have any more X?' and they would say 'No, they always sell out really quickly'...
Results of Panini Research
[Phil] Geez, Phil, are you running a pub or trying to make your eatery some sort of 'up-market' restaurant with fancy names for ordinary dishes? Surely a panino is just a bread roll into which, like a couple of bread slices, you can insert anything you damn well like? What's wrong with marketing a 'Salad Roll' or an 'Egg and Bacon Roll'?
[Dujon] In order: Yes and no; yes; and nothing. I just found the article interesting
I'm revamping my menu, with an eye on relaunching the food side of the business to create some lunchtime trade in the area. Everyone's feedback has been very useful. We already do sandwiches and toasted sandwiches, but I've found that people charge a bit more for something that doesn't come in traditional English white or brown bread; more importantly, people seem willing to pay a bit more, for something that doesn't really cost any extra to produce if it's in, say, ciabatta rather than two slices of fantastic, locally baked bread.
Rolling over
[Phil] Sorry if I sounded a bit abrupt.
I do understand your viewpoint and, if that's what your customers want and are prepared to pay for, then I wish you all the best. You wouldn't be a businessman if you didn't explore all avenues in order to satisfy your clients. I like your comment on locally baked bread. Around my neck of the woods we have a plethora of bread varieties marketed in bulk to those of us who see bread as a staple. It's probably a couple of decades ago now, but at that time I noticed a severe decline in the quality of bread on offer. After testing just about every 'brand' available I gave up on bread for a goodly time (they all tasted 'plasticy' to me). I'm a slow learner and not very observant at times, Phil, but then I realised that there is a small local bakery in our small local shopping area which is a mere 400 metres from Maison Dujon. My bread now comes exclusively from that wee shop.
I suppose I'm saying that fresh is good. Do you intend to bake your own stock - or can you coerce one of your local bakeries into doing so? Ullage is always a problem when it comes to perishables so I'd guess you'd have to build in a wastage factor when pricing each product.
Between them, Greggs and Tesco have all but killed the traditional baker in the UK, so loaves that actually taste of something are now 'premium products' with price tags to match. See, for example, this place that opened round the corner from the flat we just moved out of.
[Dujon] The other issue is price. The large, white tin loaves that I get from the bakery are £1.54, from which I can get about 5 sandwiches per loaf. I can buy frozen ciabatta for approx 30p each. I do like the thought of the local baker making my bread, but I'd need to be doing serious volumes for them to make something specially for me, I'd imagine. Maybe when I've a few minutes on monday I'll have a natter with them.
if only
Don't get me started on bread. There are two sorts of supermarket bread here - the 'baked elsewhere' kind, which is passable, and the 'baked-off in-store', which is good if you eat it within 20 minutes. After that, it doesn't even make good toast - it's way too dry. But we also have two bakers in the village - one of them is excellent, if you like a proper wholemeal loaf - which we do. Sadly our breadmachine is a little under-used, although I do a lot of other baking. If I can stand to have the kitchen full of smoke, home-made naan bread is a real treat.
bread.
I'm not bread's biggest fan. As a student, I find a loaf too big, as I'll buy it when I fancy toast, and then come back to it a few days later to find it completely unusable. I wish they would do mini mini loaves, with 6 slices each.
[FGZstar] If you're only using it for toast then freeze what you dont use - already sliced. Most toasters will toast it ok from frozen. When working away from home I make bread on Friday or Saturday and then slice whatever's left after the weekend and freeze it for Mrs INJ to use, a slice at a time, during the week.
I suppose, but it seems whenever I consider that, I suddenly will find myself wanting a bacon sandwich, and having no unfrozen bread.
You can toast from frozen in less time than it takes to grill bacon - but it would take a little longer to just thaw the bread, unless you use a microwave.
mmmmbacon
Freeze a loaf in pairs of slices? Then you can hammer them (in pairs) into the toaster slot and put it on the 'barely stiffened up' setting to *just* thaw it to the perfect state for wrapping around your bacon sandwich.
I freeze thinly sliced granary loaves from a good local baker, and I generally find I can 'peel off' individual slices whenever I need to, although I do sometimes need to use a knife to split them apart. Individual slices defrost in around 20-30 minutes if you just separate them and lay them out on a plate, and 30 seconds in a toaster does the trick too. The key part of my technique is using thin-sliced brown bread which lets me split slices off while the loaf is still frozen solid - but if you can find bread like that it does save the faff of splitting it into sections before freezing.
Strange bread rituals
I keep bread (from Waitrose, Sainsbury, or the baker up the road) in the fridge, and it stays as fresh as when it was bought. Why are people keepng it in the freezer?
Freezing
1. That way it keeps for weeks if necessary.
2. Not enough spare room in the fridge!
What INJ said. I/we usually use about 1/3 to 1/2 of a loaf while it's fresh, then after a couple of days freeze the rest and eat it gradually, interspersed with other varieties of bread. We seem to have a reasonable variety of good bread here, although it IS expensive. As long as the loaf wasn't squished, the slices snap apart fine, and can be toasted from frozen or a tiny zap in the microwave if you don't want to wait a few minutes for the slices to thaw naturally. I have a bread machine and make about a loaf a month or two, usually when it can be taken to family sunday lunch, because it does not keep as well as store bought and I find it very difficult to slice a loaf myself, so the slices are too large

In other news, I think our summer might be over already. not that we really had much of one, but still, it was warm for a couple of days there.

I buy a loaf of bread every day, more or less. The hardest problem with making it last is not eating it :-)
I freeze my bread which works fine for us. We buy a toast sliced wholemeal or granary bloomer or raised tin made by a local artisan baker. We mostly use it for toast although I sneak the odd sandwich. I find that this quality product, cost about £1.40, freezes much better than factory bread.
I buy bread about once a week. None of it comes wrapped in plastic. There's only me eating it, but I eat a lot of bread, so it does occupy quite a lot of space in the fridge. I also got a panini press a few months ago, which is excellent for a warm meal when I can't be bothered actually cooking.
All the king's horses...
Went on holiday in December. Had an accident. Broke my back. Spent 2 weeks in Swiss hospital. Came home. Had operation. Back at work now. 'S'life, innit?
[Kim] Ouch! Trust it will all heal completely.
Walls and falls
[Kim] That'll teach you, old egg. I do hope that you're not now wheelchair bound. If not then a couple of months and the surgeons' knives have served you extraordinarily well. Good luck.
[Kim] Yes, ouch. Poor you.
echte grijp
Aye, best wishes Kim. As an aside, I've just seen real flu for the first time - the windy miller is just starting to pick up a little after three days of eating nothing, drinking very little and being unable to move out of bed. He ate half a strawberry this afternoon. It's terrifying.
urgh.
[Kim] oh my. I hope you make a swift and full recovery.
[penelope] Yes, it is; I'm sure you're keeping a close eye on him, and I hope he recovers soon. I've only had it once, and that is more than enough. I lost about three weeks in a haze of coughing, vomiting and other unpleasantness. I had a lot in reserve so wasn't worried about not eating :o) .
Seasonal 'flu
[pen] My sympathies to the windy miller. I caught the 'flu for the first time in about 40 years and it completely floored me. I am just beginning to get back to normal now. I have had more days off work sick this year than in the previous 10. On the up side I have lost nearly a stone (6.5kg in netherlandsspeak) which has a beneficial effect on revitalizing my wardrobe!
Thanks all. Today might be the day he actually eats something other than chicken broth or yogurt. Luckily I only work part-time and I can spend some time at home. And the washing machine is now mended... a household of flu and having to wash things by hand for two weeks wasn't much fun.
Happy birthday, Chalky!
:-)
Belated
Hi Chalks, how goes it with you? Any sign of revitalizing your visit?
got a new mobile...
Hurrah! MC5 works on my mobile! Android rocks.
Though it seems the preview makes a full post impossible...it won't go after that...and the whoops button is missing...
aha
Got the previews back...still no whoops.
[pen] However, I advise that he does not eat any chicken yogurt.
Chicken... yoghurt?
Off-hand, I can't think of any circumstances where eating chicken yoghurt would be a good idea.
Mmmm.. Chicken...
I anticipate cooking chicken in yoghurt within the next 3 days. Nicer than just cream in a sort of supreme-ish using up roast chicken leftovers dish.
Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant
Rabbits
Down the pub tonight, Rosie?
Oooh, yeah. Grilled chicken (in cubes, on a wooden skewer) marinaded in spices, yogurt and lime juice, served with a satay sauce... I think that's one for when the windy miller has his appetite back.
(Softers) Of course - life goes on as normal. Not sure where to park the dragon. The former licensee, a young woman from New Romney, is the only purely English person I have met who can pronounce the Welsh "ll" properly. She'd lived in S Wales for a short time. All you need is to have heard it.
I think Uncle Korky has just won the Holiday Anagrams game.
(INJ) Yes, best yet provided it comes from his own head, though the previous one, from Softers, gave me the best guffaw.
Anagrams
Apols for multi-posting. Got carried away.
Downton Crescent
Sorry about the outage there (not that anyone will have noticed) - major system upgrade.
Me again
It's the end of the working week for me, and the beginning of Pig Week. Does anyone have plans for the weekend?
The windy miller is slowly getting back to form, and we will be going to the mill together tomorrow morning - for the first time in three weeks. Not sure what we'll do in the afternoon. The weekend will also include laundry and ironing. And possibly a bastardised version of Robert Carrier's Normandy pheasant, using Dutch cooking pears instead of apples.
Off up to Leeds for a friend's birthday party on Saturday and staying over. Unfortunately it's fancy dress, themed on 'Songs from the Shows' (she's keen on amateur operatics). So we're in 'South Pacific' mode, though Mrs INJ insists on wearing another skirt below the grass one and didn't seem at all impressed by my idea of a coconut shell bikini.
coconots
Well, they're not exactly short of food-miles are they? Perhaps Mrs INJ was thinking of something grown a bit more locally. Swedes, perhaps.
[INJ] I'm sure you'd look rather fetching in one.
[pen] Long weekend here, working part of it, mooching around catching up on sleep otherwise, hoorah! And I got a haircut today. Ever so much fun to be had.
Well, that was nice
Excellent time had by all - reunion with a lot of old (in both senses) walking friends. On the costume front - we looked pretty good, but were upstaged by Sally Bowles.
Meltdown
Anyone got shares in British Energy or EDF?
[pen] What happens in Pig Week?
Pig week
[Tuj] Ask Projoy. It's more a Facebook Thing...
say nothing, do nothing
It's actually a quote from The Specials. But what song, guys and gals?
specialist
Not a challenge these days with Google, pen.
Pieces of eight
Softers, you're mistaking this unlimited chat thingy with the eight words pages! As they said, the lunatics are taking over the asylum.
Asylum seeking
[pen] sorry, didn't realize I had limited it.
slow talking
Anyone got any news? I'm having a slow morning. I might go into the office this afternoon (magazine deadline coming up, profs to interview tomorrow and Monday and I ought to at least try to sound intelligent), am thinking about how to approach a new one-day-a-week role I've been given (which means the windy miller and I can afford to have a cleaner - hurrah!) and am looking forward to visiting Blighty over Easter - a long-overdue visit, postponed because of the windy miller's illness.
no news is good news
[penelope] Not really. The weather is pleasant here and a few weeks ago I planted a vege garden. Tonight is cool and clear, but I'm not away from the city, so I can't see many stars.
Why is it that no-one will believe that I have actually sprained my ankle on April Fool's Day. It's not a joke, and certainly no laughing matter.
Ouch!
I believe you. If it's a proper sprain, not just a bad twist or wrench, then it can be worse than breaking it, as tendon typically won't heal as well or as quickly as bone.
twenty bloody degrees
I object, I object, I object - it's 20C here this afternoon, yet only the 2nd April. That's just not right. My blood's not yet adjusted to warmer temperatures, and I'm all pink in the face.
Thermal responses
(pen) That's because you're a lady. Gentlemen, such as myself, merely perspire without the attendant rubicundity. Only horses sweat.
panic over
[Rosie] Back down to 13 degrees today. And the windy miller and I gambled on the 10% chance of no rain - so went to Antwerp to shop at the Sunday market - and won. And saw English morris dancers holding up very well in proper clogs against some nancy German upstarts who were all wearing white sneakers. Lightweights.
Hot, hot, hot
According to our local met office today is an April record on the rock of 20.7C. It certainly was nice strolling around at lunchtime.
It's warm but very windy here. We had to tape a bit of cardboard over a fireplace to prevent the cat from climbing up the chimney (as an interim measure before we get our hands on a fireguard). The way it's flexing in the wind really does bring home how silly an idea a fireplace is if you care about keeping any warm air in a room!
(Softers) 20.9°C in the grounds of Plas Huws, an approximately once-a-year event (for April). You wanna live somewhere warmer.
(rab) Can't fault your reasoning, even if you had a fire, but there is the trouser-singeing radiation.
27°C in Melbourne yesterday. About the same today. Parents fly out to Perth and thence back to Scotland tomorrow. Sister and family arrive on Tuesday. 2am arrival, bloody inconsiderate if you ask me.
Upstage
[Rosie] The late news reported a peak of 22.8C.
Got sunburn yesterday in London
(G III) As it's only early April you must have been exposing parts of the body on which the sun don't normally shine, and if you got away with it, good for you.
Train clocks (long)
I've no idea where to put this, so here'll do. Perusing the Evening Standard on my way over to my current temporary place of residence, I espied a full-page advertisement for a 'Flying Scotsman clock'. This appeared to be a combined exercise in kitsch, model railways and clockmaking, and all credit to the company concerned for coming up with the idea. For just five low payments of £24.99 this superb work could be yours, or mine, or someone else's.

Now, two things struck me about this edifice. The first thing was that it included a circular track upon which a model Flying Scotsman train would appear at hourly intervals to mark the passage of time. All well and good. But curiously, not only was the track circular, but the model locomotives and carriages that used it were themselves curiously (but clearly necessarily) banana-shaped. I've never seen this in any full-sized item of rolling stock, and I was consequently surprised that such a deviation from reality was considered acceptable in the model. I wondered to myself whether the model was OO-gauge, because I think I'd quite like to own a banana-shaped locomotive, even if it could only go round corners of a tightly-prescribed radius. Impractical even on the smallest layout, but unarguably entertaining. I also wondered whether these remarkable machines were available in right-handed variants too.

The second thing that struck me was that this clock-making company was making (or, at least, expects to make) enough profit from these devices to justify putting a full-page advertisement in a high-circulation newspaper. Now, assuming the cost to manufacture one of these clocks is in the region of 20–30 pounds, that still requires quite a lot of people willing to shell out for one before the cost of a full-page spread (a few grand, I suspect) justifies itself. So who are these train-, clock- and kitsch-loving individuals, and how many of them are out there running loose?? I think we should be told.

Whoops
Went to the shopping centre to buy some stuff for the BoRiS and came back with an iPhone. Had a look at one of those Android jobbies too but was more impressed with the iPhone than I anticipated.
Win!
Picked the National winner and Mrs Software had the second. Celebrations over the weekend.
Friday Friday Friday
Busy busy busy... if I work all day tomorrow from home, I should get through enough work to be able to catch the ferry to Blighty on Wednesday evening to go and have fish and chips with my mum.
Now where pen?
Please tell me...using this map. http://www.anagramtubemap.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
No fair...I had to look of the doddery lady question's answer to post!
(Giertrud) Blighty is a very old affectionate slang term for Britain and has a sense of "home".
oh!
Then...all of that ... and more.
[Simons Mith] Never underestimate the propensity of the great unwashed to spend their money on tat. Take for example this wonderful Priness Diana Porcelain Baby Doll. Surely the work of a demented mind. Or perhaps you'd like to see a Wall Mounted Motorbike Cuckoo clock. This was advertised in my free monthly RACV magazine and gave me a chuckle. It makes me wonder what sort of operation is required to completely remove someone's sense of taste. But it must be cheap.
gopping
[nfras] *bokes*
Filing from Provence
[Pen] Did you also always read the warning sign as saying 'Thonk Boke'?
[INJ] erm... not that I can remember. Here we have 'Gordels om, ook in achterin'. So belt up.
BTW, what are you doing having a Fling in Provence? Does Mrs INJ know?
Shrinking violet
I am dieting. Just so you know. Day 2...
Not fade away
Have you bought the dress already?
[Softers] Part 1 is 'one-size-fits-all' and has been reserved at the Posh Frock Shop. (That's a completely unhelpful description - in fact it's a rather fabulous and very expensive Japanese jacket.) My mum is using her pensioner's bus pass to travel to buy it later this week. Part 2 will be made to measure.
it can't be just me, can it?
Isn't it a bit quiet around here? Are you all busy or what?
Writing my CV
'Tis a little on the quiet side this week.
Shhhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet.
Grading exams
F, F, F, F minus, F, F minus, F plus, F, F, F, F, F plus, F minusminus, F minus, F minus, F, F, F minus...
Showing off
(Phil) 105 what?
[CdM] Sounds like you might need to widen your scale a bit...

Yesterday I embarked on a 12 hour round trip to be asked three questions by a US visa official. The good news is that the visa is approved, so I don't have to return with any additional documentation which is a relief, as the train fare to London is not cheap.

Meanwhile we're just waiting for rab Jr to arrive. Some friends of ours were three months early which has put the wind up us...

[Rosie] 105 lies to help me get a job.
The land of the free...
[rab] what's the point of the Edinburgh consulate?
Pointiness
Emergency passports for US citizens. My wife needed one once, so the proximity was very handy.
(Phil) A purveyor of that which cheers? Best of luck, whatever you do. Out-of-work is not good for anyone and it's happened to me three times.
[Rosie, Phil] Out-of-work has been happening to me for 3 years now, and boy is it ever getting the better of my sanity.
Hidden textWibble

Maybe I should try the lying...
C (Lie) V
[Knobbers] Why not? I'm sure lots of people do.
Statement contrary to reality
I wouldn't. Particularly as anyone who's any good as a wordsmith can use the truth to say what they want without actually needing to lie.
it's on the noticeboard...
I feel fairly confident that no-one will make any objections to the notice of impending marriage between the windy miller and me, which for the next three weeks will be pinned on the noticeboard, almost behind the filing cabinet, in the inner porch of the back door of the British Consulate in Amsterdam. You have to speak through the intercom to the grumpy security guard at the front door, and again at the back door intercom to get in there, so I doubt you'll get in anyway. I took a friend with me to Amsterdam today, and she had to wait on the street until I complained to the consul officer, and he sent the guard out to bring her in.
I would protest in the strongest terms, if I had good reason, and/or could be bothered...so feel free, and go ahead!
Beware of the Leopard
[Pen] Congratulations. Break a leg, as I think they say in Belgium :-)
It should be banned
I trust it's written in English, translated from the Dutch via Estonian, Kurdish, American Sign Language and Xhosa. That sounds like a good excuse for a gin.
chin chin
[INJ] Indeed. Cheers. :o)
(pen) Never tried it - there aren't enough saints to choose from. Works for some and I hope it does for you.
the knot
Congrats is the usual thing. I tried it once, but the wheels fell off after a while, didn't stop me doing it again though, but that was for pension reasons.
[Softers] This is like getting my first car at the age of 46. Although, of course, I actually passed my driving test at 17 and bought my first car at 23. And somewhere halfway through that analogy, it stopped working. I'm marrying the windy miller for his money and for the free flour.
(pen) Not going Dutch, then. :-)
Free flour?
[pen] sounds like a grind...
Impending connubial arrangement
Congratulations. I think our intention to submit appeared on a scrolltext screensaver in the waiting room of the registry office.
New wardrobe
Thanks all. We may even start booking things this week, if the windy miller gets his finger out. In other news, there's a fairly important event at the university today, and I wanted to look a bit smarter than usual. I had to root through the wardrobe to find a suit that wasn't too big this morning... this diet business appears to be working.
[pen] congrats on the gradual "vanishing lady" trick.
Wham spam thank you mam
Looks like this site is currently the victim of an automated spam attack. I may have to temporarily disable posting at short notice while I introduce a countermeasure. Apologies if that's the case.
Mr Fixit?
Let's see if that's worked...
Seems to have
You will understand if I don't reveal precisely what I've done to stem the flow... but as at MCiOS you may be asked a simple question from time to time. Don't take offence if this happens to you.
http://xkcd.com/810/
Having seen the posts before they were wiped I thought they might be taking the first baby steps towards xkcd #810. A good few years to go yet, though.
Looks like I'm encookied already, eh?
Which reminds me...
... I should check that those who aren't can still gain entry if they are legitimate.
Good
That worked!
cookies?
No thanks - I'm on a diet. 7kg lost so far.
Whereas I appear to have put on a stone. I'm holding out a vague hope that it's just my not-very-accurate scales.
stoney ground
[SM] I can heartily recommend Slimming World. It's effective, and it's a very healthy way of eating (and supposed to educate you away from the way of eating that made you fat in the first place). I haven't felt as well as this for yonks. If you can't bear to go to a club meeting (too many echoes of 'The League of Gentlemen' and their sketches of the victimisation at the Fat Club meetings) then do it online, and join the Facebook Group that acts as an online meeting.
Bit of Dust
[penelope] Was it not Little Britain that did the Slimming Club, I though League of Gentlemen was the Dole office meetings.
Fat chance
[FGZa] I stand corrected. Fat, unemployed... the two go together in that kind of world. *ducks*
Why did you duck?
[FGZ*] Avoiding the sail of a windmill.
And the sale of a windmill, one would hope, to say nothing of a funeral. Don't try to be La Doña Quixote, pen.
uncapitalised
Luckily we don't own any windmills - most of them are owned by charitable foundations. There are only a few privately-owned and commerically run mills in NL, and usually they have to diversify to make ends meet - shops, tea rooms and cafes etc. However, there is a large consulation project sponsored by the province to come up with new ideas to make mills less reliant on public money, of which there is less and less available. By the way.
lack of capital
[pen] belt tightening is endemic. Thanks to the banks everybody is now poor while they continue dishing out obscene bonuses.
Something I've never seen explained is what happened to all the money. Bonuses are measured in millions, while the losses are measured in billions, so while one can object to the bonuses for other reasons, that isn't where the money went. It was lost by being lent for mortgages to people who never paid it back, and who spent it on buying houses, so presumably construction firms and property developers got the bulk of it. Who owns those? The banks?
rab jr
Our little boy came kicking and screaming into the world at 3.41 this morning. In honour of MC regular _tim_, we've called him Underscore. Have yet to be given the spec sheet, but from what I remember he's about average in size and weight. Mother and baby (and father, for that matter) all a bit shattered and overwhelmed by the experience, but doing well. Should you feel the need to goo, drop me an email and I'll send a pic once everyone's presentable.
Congratulations!
[Rab] Marvellous news! Best wishes to all involved. Now - get some sleep while you still can. I understand it can be in scarce supply.
(rab) Congratulations to all. I'm sure he'll pass his QA inspection. Investor in People really works, doesn't it?
(Raak) Good question. One answer could be that the money didn't exist in the first place, as your answer sort of implies.
_Rablet_
Congratulations. And thanks for an excuse to do some head-wetting.
rabbit
Congrats, rab! Treasure the early years, before he discovers DH loops!
Congratulations!
Er, that says it all, really.
Congratulation, rab! And belatedly to penelope. What is the world coming to? People getting married and popping sprogs and living happily ever after?
Well done, rab and Mrs rab. As pen says, get some sleep now. Lots. When the young one gets home you won't get much. Ever again. Seriously. But very worth it :)
That was an unfortunate typo. I'm sure rab and pen deserve more than one congratulation. Take as many as you like, I have a whole box here.
Well played rab and Mrs rab and a big welcome to Master _Underscore_
(Chalky) Hello. :-)
*waves from Eastern France* I'm still here, although I've forgotten almost all of my HTML skills, so expect really off moves from me for a while as I get my arm in.
[rab] A little late to the party, but congratulations!
[nights] How far east? I'm somewhere in the vicintiy of D*sn*yland this weekend, driving a van, for charity.
[Phil] About as far east as you can get - Strasbourg. What kind of a charity takes a van to D*sn*yland? Sounds like a charity I'd like.
deep freeze frustration.
Good morning campers. For two mornings running, I have pulled out of the freezer the less-than-successful vegetarian curry to defrost (unsuccessful because the broccoli in it didn't behave very well, not because it's vegetarian, and pulled out of the freezer because the tubs are unidentified, but we only find out when we get home from work. D'oh!), disappointing the windy miller, who gets very short-tempered when he's hungry. So I'm trying to get back into his good books with pork chops and mushrooms tonight. The curry has gone on the compost.
broccoli + freezer = difficult. I seem to remember that to freeze anything with broccoli in, you barely need to cook it at all, as it'll get all the cooking it needs when you reheat it.
Food wastage.
[Pen] That'll teach you. Just label it properly. Simples!
I always do, where 'always' has a value that has been known to exceed 50%.
[pen] Broccoli curry? Not sure I'd be keen on that. I discovered a great YouTube channel some months back that is full of great vegetarian Indian dishes. http://www.manjulaskitchen.com
As we say here in Oz, she's daggy, but the recipes are great.
Bloemkool curry
[nfras] As a brassica, it was OK when freshly cooked - as is cauliflower curry - in fact the two were mixed. But it doesn't like being frozen. I should have known better. Last night's pork chops were great though. And thanks for the curry link - will give it a whizz.
I miss having a freezer. These days I bulk cook on a Sunday when I have time, and eat it for Monday and Tuesday as well. Veggie chilli works really well that way, especially with a slug of bourbon.
[nights] I haven't had a microwave for over 3 months now, and don't miss it. Don't really use our freezer either, for that matter as we tend to cook and eat, and then eat until it's finished :)
[pen] Ahh, that's where you have me. Broccoli I love, could eat it every day and would probably try a broccoli curry (broccoli pakora is very nice). I understand that some people eat cauliflower in the same way that I understand that some people like other people to wee on them. If that floats your boat, fine, just don't expect me to participate. Mrs nfras tries to poison me every now and then by hiding it in mashed potato and hoping I won't notice. I do.
Incidentally, at the last mini-Melbourne Antipopilg we discussed the pronounciation of broccoli, specifically the last vowel sound. I use "brocco-lee" whereas I often hear the locals saying "brocco-lie".
[nfras] Where I live the last syllable is usually, but not universally, pronounced with the short 'i'. By that I mean that the 'li' bit of it agrees with 'bit' and 'it'.
I've often heard it pronounced as if it were this place. Goes with batt'ry, which one hears rather too often.
[Rosie] I've seen it written the same way. By greengrocers.
I can never spell it either. I have no excuses - it's my favourite vegetable also, and it's also spelt the same in French, so I'm pretty much stuck either way.
Spelling? Why not singing?
[nfras], [Dujon], [Rosie],[Raak], and [nights], why spell it when you can sing it? Do you know of this song?
Just remember. . .
Brits readily occupy cable cars on London's island. And you need this song, too.
Broc
"Brocco-lie" is a very common pronunciation in Leicester. And it drives me up the wall. That and "straight-the-way" instead of "straightaway". Arrgghh!
brits grits
It's Britons. People from that island are called Britons. Not Brits - that was a word invented by lazy tabloid journalists and it makes me cringe everytime I hear it.
(Kag) V good. I actually LOL'ed.
(pen) I think it's an American invention, not a tabloid one, though the latter (and many others) have picked it up. I'll use it when Americans start to regard it as cool to refer to themselves as Yanks.
lighten up, guv
[Rosie] Was it light when you posted that at 03.58 on the shortest night?
(pen) Probably, a bit. I've just put up new curtains to eliminate the horrible possibility of knowing. I'm a very naughty boy.
Ah, the days are getting longer...
[CdM] Ah yes, but are the nips getting bigger?
Britophile
[pen] Me, I like the abbreviation. :-)
Well, Midsummer went off without a hitch here, as it coincides with the annual Fête de la Musique. Lots of bands in the street, lots of alcohol consumed, lots of people absent at work the next day. Brilliant.
brile
[CdM] You're an economist. You like everything cut.
Has everyone had a nice weekend?
Something for the weekend
Saturday at a friend's 80th birthday party with excellent food and much music - impromptu and prepared - the majority of the guests were capable of sight-reading so we had a choir of about 40 in his (very large) garden.
Sunday at the Derbyshire County show - walking distance for us. A scorcher - drinks and ice-creams doing a roaring trade, but some pretty hot-looking sheep and bad-tempered cattle.
Friday at Hyde Park for great gig. Saturday was a wander around Windsor Castle (blagged a free ticket for daughter as she sang in the chapel there last year and didn't have time to do the tour). Sunday was a day of rest.
Tweaked a few pins and did a little repair work on the piano here. Perspired freely. Replaced lost fluid with a modest quantity of an available product, even at one in the morning. Was informed that the price difference between weak and strong beers as purchased by the pub is much greater than the difference in price at the bar. "Sensible" drinkers are subsidising piss-heads as it makes business sense.
(INJ) Hot-looking sheep? Please do not feed the Welsh jokes.
We managed a trip to the museum to meet some friends, and a pub lunch. Were very proud to have successfully left the house for an extended period. However, _ has been a bit unsettled since, so perhaps the experience left him in a state of shock.
His first decent excursion and you take him to a place full of dead things and then subject him to a pub? No wonder he's a bit grumpy. Poor _. ;)
Hot
Maximum temperature today (Monday) in the grounds of Maison Rosie was 30.7°C and pretty humid with it. Even more unusual was the previous night's minimum of 19.3°C, a record for June in nearly 30 years and nearly a record for any month. Bit sweaty during band rehearsal. Tuesday cooler and Wednesday cooler still, which is boring, but at least you feel less knackered,
And now, the weather
It depends on who you ask, but here in the European Capital of Traffic Jams that Don't Move At All, it was 36ishC yesterday, and 23 overnight. Sleep is but a distant memory, and I content myself with the fact that today I get to teach in an airconditioned conference room...
(nights) Paris, I presume.
[nights] (Maybe I already knew this, and I have forgotten.) What do you teach?
weather or not
[Rosie et al] We had this yesterday afternoon; it was quite spectacular.
[Rosie] Actually Strasbourg - like Paris, but smaller and much nicer.

[CdM] English as a Foreign Concept for business - so instead of "Brian is in the kitchen", it's "Mr Smith is in the conference room". And it's finally cooled down...
Antwarp
I was in Antwerp on Tuesday, here (very, very impressive building) where it was 36 or 37C. To my Former-flatmate-from-Hertfordshire-days-visiting-from-New-Zealand, the heat, after flying in from wintry Wellington, floored her. It almost floored me too. But the thunderstorms that night were spectacular. I've just put her on a train to Amsterdam (I can now drive round Rotterdam without getting lost, hurrah!), and today it's a very fresh and pleasant 20C.
[pen] Same here. Hoorah for continental microclimates!
Whoops, I think I pressed the wrong button and deleted everyone else. Forever alone.
where's the button for the restore point?
Back in the office after a week off. The nice thing is I nowhave the desk next to the window, so I have a view of the Erasmusbrug, the Willemsbrug, the old railway bridge AND the Unilever glass box among the skyscrapers of Rotterdam. Quaite naice.
Rooms with a view
Penelope, that reminds of my office of a few years (too many) ago. The fact that I was a significant contributor to the design layout of the place has nothing to do with this, of course. The department of the organisation in which I worked was situated on the 20th floor of a building which itself was positioned on a relatively high point of the City of Sydney. The windows rose from thigh height to the ceiling. The view took in the top of the Harbour Bridge, the buildings of the main CBD and then a panoramic sweep of Sydney Harbour (Port Jackson) all the way out to the harbour's heads. It really hurt, but I had to turn my back on it else I'd have done sweet nothing in the way of work.
Laundry
What do you lot do while doing laundry? I'm experimenting with brainstorming the week to come in a notebook while my smalls go around and around and around, and it works well.
Well, nights, I find that doing laundry is an exercise in concentration. Firstly it's getting the right temperature of the water in the copper. Then there's the right balance of water to cloth to consider. After that it's what, if any, domestic aids - such as soap - might be required. After those it becomes necessary to move the wooden dowel I use for agitation in such a manner as to effect the most efficient cleaning whirls and swirls. Whilst doing the latter my mind drifts to the mangling and then the efficacy of hanging the final product right-way-up or up-side-down. Laundry, nights, is an art and is not something that should be taken lightly. Anyway, your notebook will get wet.
[nights] I mostly sleep, having put the machine on to run overnight.
(Dujon) Do you have a coal fire under the copper or are you still using eucalyptus logs? Soda is very good, isn't it? I prefer wooden pegs, or pigs as they call them in NZ (and SA, it seems).
[Rosie] Gerroff! The wood of the eucalypti beneath the copper? That's reserved for the hot water heater and bushfires. Blimey, you Britons aren't half backward. Soda? Indeed; a tablespoon of bi-carb goes a long way when washing. Pegs/pigs/pugs around this wee bit of territory are not my responsibility but I do find that the plastic (non gypsy supplied) tend to snap all too often after being subjected to sunlight.
Being serious for a moment: Should I be required to buy a scuttleworth of coal for the fireplace that I don't have I have no idea as to where I might buy it.
Ash Google
[Dujon] That's what Google is for. Or, as it used to be called, the Yellow Pages. Or the small ads in the back of your local newspaper. Or ask at any house with a smoking chimney.
I am now virtually convinced that e-technology is ringing the death knell of common sense and 'nouse'
Trying to raise the pH
(Dujon) Bicarb's no good - you want proper soda, Na2CO3. Alkaline enough to dissolve aluminium. Try it in a saucepan with a bit of heat. It'll fizz nicely. Don't do it for too long or the pan will have a hole in its bottom which is all very well for us humans but not cooking vessels. As for coal, this can be obtained from any of Britain's many preserved steam railways and is of a quality high enough to be burned at the ferocious rate required in a locomotive firebox. Or you could get it direct from Poland as we don't have any mines left. About £80 a ton. With you on pegs. Use wooden dolly pegs; they last for ever.
(pen) esp. satnav. Recently someone was given several column-inches in the Grauniad Technology Section to describe how inadequate the device was because it had got her lost driving from Wolverhampton to Stoke and she nearly landed up in Shrewsbury. If that had happened to me I'd have kept very quiet about it, not wishing to appear a complete tosser, but you know what people are like these days. I won't say any more because I can get really sarky.
MapNav
Quite. I always like to have a lookie at a map before I set off, so at least I am informed about the route/heading/places en route. People who blindly trust a SatNav are eejuts.
Technology
When I taught engineering at night school I always told students that they had to know the answer before using a calculator. They used to laugh at this but I used to point out that you first had to estimate the decimal place otherwise the calculator answer could be orders of magnitude out. This principle applies to all technology, it is useful for accuracy but you need to know what you are doing before starting.
[penelope] Around my neck of the woods it would be hard to find a house with a chimney, never mind one with a proper coal burning hearth an 'ob and a couple of hunting dogs to keep one's feet warm. A few decades ago oil burners were all the rage but the cost of fuel seems to have put those foul things to rest - even the use of the common wood burning heaters seem to be well and truly on the decline. After your comment (mine was meant to be light hearted) I did look at Google and my local paper's classified advertisements. Unfortunately my common sense and nous came to naught. Should I ever need a scuttleworth of coal I shall be trawling the local railway lines for inadvertent sullage. :)
sullage
[Dujon] Apologies, I didn't mean my comment to sound so brusque, but where on earth do you live, you poor coal-less thing?!?! Next point: I don't think you mean 'sullage', unless you're burning cowpats and horse dung...
*chuckles*
No, penelope, I didn't. It was a slip of the brain or fingers. Please read the word as 'ullage'. On the coal question: Australia exports huge amounts of coal and uses various grades of coal in its power stations but I can quite honestly say that in my fifty-odd year sojourn in this country I have never seen coal being burned domestically. It sounds odd, but it's true, although it's impossible for me to say that it doesn't happen.
Sad about Hershey's practices
I am sad about Hershey's practices. I just found out that they source their cocoa from cacao farms that use slave labor. Children are sold to farmers, never paid, are beaten . . . Mars and Nestle are not great, either. However, they promised to stop these practices by 2020. Cadbury for you brits is fine, but Hershey's distributes it in the United States.
Chocolate is evil
[Kaggers] I suppose this is why it's important to check that Incidentally, we're Britons, not 'brits', pfffft. (And Norwegians, Australians, and residents of just about every country in between those two.)
*has made a move in every game*
Too much maybe?
Yeah.
O-Kaaaaaay

*slopes off*
seldom chalked
[Chalks] It's not as if you do it every day, or even every week. Welcome back, missus!
*waves from Bristol*
"white horses from Westbury"
[ChalkyPhilCdMIrach] Does anyone who contributed a line to the riddle glow-worm know what the answer was? I can only find one word that seems to satisfy all clues, are there others?
Hidden textI can only find 'nerd'.
[Knobbly] That was all I found. I'd been staring at line 1 wanting to make the answer "Néa" but couldn't conjure a line 2 which would squeeze two accented words in.
[Knobbly] So it would seem.
Hidden text"neon" would have been possible, prior to line 4
. A little apt, I suppose?
I didn't think of Néa when I posted Line 3 (I should have), so i was aiming for NERD at that point -- because, as Phil said, it seemed fitting.
Missed the riddle
I read the glow worms, but I missed the riddle. All this "line 1" talk is making me think poetry. I think you Britons *rolls eyes at self* might like this poem of mine: Bigfoot's Love Slave.
the KS poem
Gosh. I clicked. Powerful ending.
Making my name show on everything in the first box.
*foils Giertrud's diabolical plan*
T-11
Back in NL. I have been hen-partied. :o/
Girly-do
I do hope you maintained your cool and didn't wear any fairy wings, pen.
more girly goings-on...
[Softers] No way. We had a very sophisticated evening in a Greek restaurant, not even any plate-smashing. And today, my department at work threw a bash for me too - with a water-taxi down the Oude Maas to the Hotel New York in Rotterdam for afternoon tea, and back again. The weather cleared up spectacularly and it was wonderful. The poor old windy miller didn't get supper cooked for him tonight - I was still stuffed! (But I did cycle to the Chinese takeaway for him)
Weekendings
Saw the Staffordshire Hoard (or at least some of the finer pieces) on Saturday at Lichfield Cathedral - remarkable for its quality (gold filigree and cloisonné work, etc.). There's a moment in the video presentation where one of the experts says: "We get asked if this is the largest Anglo-Saxon treasure hoard ever found - it's the ONLY Anglo-Saxon treasure hoard ever found". Also went to Wightwick (pronounced 'wittik') Manor, possibly the best William Morris house in the country. Morris never saw it, but it was entirely furnished from Morris's shop in Oxford Street by the Mander family of Mander's Paints.
Also had a quick look at CdM's childhood home.
Hoardings
[INJ] I'd love to see that. The hoard, not CdM's childhood home - I doubt it even has a blue plaque, does it?
Remove that plaque
[Pen] Not any more, it hasn't.
Week's ages
A week since the last post - anyone got anything interesting to report? This morning, I'm going to take my camera down to the windy miller's (non-functioning) mill at Maasdam, and take photos. One of his apprentices spent four days creating decorations for it for our wedding; buntings, 6ft carved initials painted red, and carved intertwined wedding rings, all strung between the tips of the sails and floodlit. He took us out to see it the night before we got married. *beams*
Long weekend
As usual at this time of year, spent in a friend's cottage in the North York Moors. Almost didn't make it along the track on Friday after torrential rain. After that fine walking in forest and over the largest expanse of heather moorland in the world - all bright purple and with a glorious sweet scent. Cold and windy, mind you.
[INJ] Excellent. A week on Sat, I'm off to Wensleydale, to play in the Hardraw Scaur Brass Band Contest. Also spending a week in Swaledale for half-term. Can't wait to get back up to North Yorkshire :-)
Cheese please
*yearns for a proper bit of Wensleydale* God I miss English cheese.
Cracking cheese Grommit
Ah, yes. The clog stuff is a bit waxy. Great for using one of those cheese slicers that they love, though.
waxy rubber and no taste
Dutch cheese - always highly spoken of, but as far as I can make out (and I may have said this before elsewhere), there are only three varieties. However you can have them at any age you like. But until they get a couple of years old, there's no real taste, and no texture. And you can't grate it - ever. I think it's a bit arse-about-elbow to design the cheese to suit the cheese slicer, isn't it? And the cheese slicer/cheese scraper/cheese plane only works for about 40% of the truckle - it doesn't work once to get towards the edges of the cheese. Surprisingly inefficient for the Dutch. Rant over. Now bring me some proper cheese, please.
Pass the Dutch-cheese on the left-hand side
[pen] At least it's lower in fat than cheddar et al.
alert: not at all posh sense of taste and style
[pen] agreed about the slicer. Mine seem to go mad towards the edge; I'd thought it was just me.

My taste in cheese is not so sophisticated. *prepares for ostracism*. I don't like camembert or brie or veiny or runny or very hard very smelly cheese. I do like what is sold here as "Dutch smoked", whether it has anything to do with the Netherlands I'm not sure. Thinking about it, liking it might, in part, be due to growing up with Kraft processed cheddar (in the blue cardboard box, doesn't need refrigeration), which it does bear a passing resemblance to in texture. Not sure if that product ever got to the UK, i think it was a US thing that turned up here in the 40s or 50s. I haven't eaten the stuff for decades, I found a tin of it in Oman but wasn't game to actually eat more than a small wedge to confirm its identity.

Anyway, crumbly feta (not smooth, yuk) is good. A nice cottage cheese sometimes finds its way into my diet. Cheddar, well, what is sold here as cheddar, no idea if it is or not, is my main cheese, in a lower fat variety, not because I'm a low fat fanatic, but because this particular one just seems to be less greasy, especially when melted or grilled where it turns out beautifully, compared to some others.

And i will fight even my best friends and relations for haloumi. You have been warned :o)

Do me a haloumi
[flerdle] Just buy double the amount. I like mine grilled with a sprinkling of fresh chopped mint and freshly-ground black pepper.
Grilled is obligatory, but you can keep the mint.
Nooooo, it's mine, all mine, i tell you.
feeding frenzy
Damn you. Now I'm checking out sausages punt en el and slavering over my desk. The sausagepalace is only about 7km from the windy miller's office. I can see I'll have to make a visit. (And then probably hate them and end up making my own with the new KitchenAid mixer-with-meat-grinder-attachment-and-sausage-stuffer-thingamebob that is about to be purchased with the wedding present money.)
It pains me...
I love cheese. Almost all varieties (only one I can think of that I don't like is cottage cheese). I like hard, soft, creamy, waxy, crumbly, mild, mature, sharp, sweet, blue, goat's, ewe's, cow's, flavoured and so on. Love 'em all.
However, I am on a self-imposed low saturated fat diet, so the only cheese I eat now (other than for a very rare treat) is low-fat cream cheese. Then again, I loved smoking, but I don't do that any more either.
Wearing kilts on ankles is now fashionable
Went to my first pub games last night (Sept. 7 - USA/Central time) so, like um, what 2am Friday for Brits? I forget . . .
Brit Food
It was at a Celtic Pub. I also had Bangers and Mash there. Different.
Fashion advice
[KS] Kilts on ankles is fashionable? That would be one kilt per ankle I assume. That's a new one on me. On the other hand, kilts round ankles......
tartanankles
I'm trying to think of a kilt pun, but I'm failing.
[pen] It's for the best, the community frowns on puns here. Tell a bad one and you might get kilt.
[pen] I think Tuj may try to get a monopoly on the kilt puns, but I'll try to make sure he doesn't hog manay of them.
It's poor 'uns that we really frown upon.
You can make them more presentable by tartan them up.
Yes, kilts on ankles
It was from a game, basically "pin the tail on the donkey." It was "tape the kilt on the Scotsman, though." I ended up putting it on his ankle! I think a kilt on each ankle would be pretty cool - new fashion instead of bell bottoms!
PUNishment
As for puns, I have the BEST pun ever, but you have to know technical terms about the Christan fish and Swedish/Norwegian/ (thus, unfortunately sometimes) Lutheran cuisine.
Puns
I know an absolutely filthy pun in French. Only works in French though.
Does the pun involve a pullover, perchance?
[SM] Indeed :)
Puns and French
My pun does not involve a pullover and is in English. I might be able to read the French one, might not. I need to brush up on my French.
French puns
[Phil] So it's not the one about the vicar, the bicycle and the scouring powder?
Flappy
I don't know if a technical issue with my hosts has affected this site but if you have noticed any outages it's due to "severe flapping of HSRP on customer vlans". I thought I should pass that on.
HSRP?
Huge Sheets of Rubberised Paper.
Surely they shouldn't be sending data around in vans these days.
Highly Spiced Rice Pudding?
streaking by
[CdM] I read that as 'High Speed Rice Pudding'. The pudding-mistakes compound themselves because I read Rab's post thinking of a Dutch dessert called 'vla' (basically cold custard), and a Limburgse tart called 'vlai'. And I'm bloomin' hungry this morning.
[INJ] Do not underestimate the bandwidth of a transit van full of DAT tapes.
(Packet rate's lousy though.)
[Simons] Reminds me of A Fire Upon the Deep, where the protagonists get transport on a spaceship whose "cargo" is a one-third xor of a one-time pad.
Desserts
Oh, come on, I know y'all are just PUDDING on a show of your favorite puns!
I read "vla" as "via" and thought of a company called Viasat and thus, thought of pudding being sent through outer space.
[Kag] And what if I gave a tart response denying that claim? ...Oh, bugger.
Sticky end to pudding puns
Well that ended very messily, didn't it? Is anythinjg nice happening this weekend? I have to admit, I'm bored, bored, bored, this weekend and not even entertained by the thought that I can actually hang washing outside today. Roll on work on Monday.
slow weekend.
[pen] No work for me for quite a while, either domestic or paid; I'll be lucky to know what day it is. But anyway, people visiting, catching up on reading, and finishing decorating my crutches.
Spent Friday to Sunday in the South-West supporting 'The Prince's Trust Wild UK Challenge' sponsored by Capgemini. I took part last year but once was enough. So 3 days of camping, manning checkpoints, lugging gear around and clapping and cheering. A successful event - plenty of money raised and only 2 competitors hospitalised after coming off bikes (neither seriously injured).
[flerdle] Well, that sounds like a plan that takes into account the circumstances. I hope it mends like what it's supposed to.
Well, my weekend improved. Making something always improves my mood, so the construction of seven jars of marmalade before breakfast on Sunday, followed by a couple of hours out on the bikes with the windy miller in the glorious late-summer weather did wonders. Today, I'm not officially at work, so plan to splend some time writing up a review of the one-day course on writing for SEO (last Friday, Utrecht), an hour getting a bit further with writing up a report from the mini-conference/debate on private equity (last Thursday night, Amsterdam), and three hours ironing (my living room, in front of the TV, tonight.)
[pen] Quite right: who'd want a wrinkly living room?
To be filed under "Fire, baptisms thereof"
Well, I just did my first ever TV interview. Live. On national TV.
[CdM] Did it go well? Is there somewhere online one might be able to see it?
[flerdle] Please explain how you will be decorating your crutch? While you were in getting the leg fixed did you have some more intimate operations performed? Perhaps a spot of vagazzling? Oh, sorry, plural, my mistake, carry on. Coat!
[Phil] Thanks for asking. I guess it went OK, given that they have asked me back. On the other hand, I really don't want to become a pundit. On the other other hand, the pen-equivalent at my institution is constantly pushing me to do this sort of stuff. Can it be seen online? I certainly hope not. :-)
penequivalent
I don't do PR anymore! I'm just English Editor.... and I sneak in marketing advice at the same time.
cooking
I want to write a cookbook. Of course, all my measures are American. I wonder if I should find British equivalents and published a British edition, too.
What size are your cups?
[KS] If you want to publish in the UK (and this will probably also be the case for places like Australia), you'll certainly have to change the measurements, but you should also get someone to check over the names of ingredients and their availability as well as possible substitutes unless you want to confine your readership to people who live in the major English cities. For example, I live in a small city of about 250,000 people with all the major supermarket chains but the nearest source of buckwheat flour for me would be a 90 minutes round trip.
It's a source of constant irritation to me that any internet search for a recipe draws you to lists of ingredients in US imperial units, mostly because I can never remember what a cup is. One gotcha to be aware of is that US pints are smaller than UK pints (16floz instead of 20floz).

For ingredient substitutions my procedure is the following. First, look for something in your cupboard that you think tastes like the missing ingredient. If that fails, look for something that looks like the missing ingredient. If even that fails, look for something that sounds like the missing ingredient.

My gelignite-based desserts have made many a dinner party go with a bang. (Although they do have the advantage of being strictly vegetarian).

One size fits all
[KS] don't change the measurements! Just include imperial and metric along with US cup measurements... Lots of recipe books and websites do this. Then you only have to produce one version.
[INJ] Try your local windmill for buckwheat. Alternatively, I can bring you 5kg next Saturday. The buckwheat is free but it'll cost you merely the price of the ferry ticket.
buckwheat
[Pen] That's the distance to the watermill who make the flour I usually use for breadmaking. I can buy the normal white, wholemeal and malted grain from my local butchers, but more specialist stuff is only sold at the mill.
sorry for not looking in here earlier
I meant to add...
[INJ] Doesn't your mill supply any other shops? Poor you. I think even though I complain about the paucity of food here, (no big chunks of meat, for a start - there's nothing to roast in this bit of the Netherlands) I can actually get a lot of local produce, and just have to cut my culinary cloth accordingly.
*waves from Beijing*
[Pen] It might do, but I haven't found it yet.
This weekend, I am mostly...
making sandwiches to feed 50 new volunteers at three windmills on the island. I volunteer that I am a complete idiot.
Never volunteer
[pen] You must be using yards of Edam and spek.
[Softers] Metres. There's still several decimetres of it left in the fridge, dammit. Tasteless cheese. But no-one can say I'm not inburgering into my new life here.
MKS
[pen] as an engineer I seriously slipped up there.
Plea
I posted this on MCIOS as well: Anyone in the Morniverse know of a suitable family for an Italian language student in or near Hastings? She is a charming young lady mid 20s and she stayed with Mrs Software and I for a month this summer.
finding ingredients
[rab] finding ingredients that way sounds dangerous. Taste? I can see how that would work. However, looking alike, I think could get really confusing! My sister says I should give this link to show how that could be dangerous. Though, I'm not sure that you'd have a lot of these in your house. Now, I just need to find the metric equivalents to US - I'm sure they're online - just gotta get going in a bit. I'll bother y'all about ingredients over times, maybe ;) I don't think I'll be using too much different, though - baking powder, sugar, flour, salt, pepper, garlic powder, butter . . . things off the top of my head that I'll be using at times.
gelignite
I hope no one had too much of a fire in their belly...
Is it me?
Am I being over-sensitive, or has the tone of the Limerick Game taken a slide down a particularly sexist hill this week? Kagome Shuko provided a dreadful first line, so I *ahem* said something. And now I find the next line refers to 'a prude'. I don't think I'm being a prude, but I do like to see standards maintained, and I think there are plenty of alternatives first lines that don't include referring to women with tits like melons. That's not a limerick I would enjoy contributing to. And I'm sure some of the chaps here similarly would avoid contributing to limericks about everyman's small cocks, erectile dysfunction and disappointing conjugal performance - and all the other male foibles and deficiences. The MC community has never felt the need to scrape the bottom of this particular barrel before (although there are plenty of other barrels that everyone enjoys delving deep into), so why now?
By limerick standards our output is exceptionally clean. I think the occasional dive into the depths of depravity is necessary and indeed unavoidable. Citations:

[1.] The lim'rick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

[2.] Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw, describing the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity.

That said, I don't think an excess of filth, whether or not it's folklorically accurate, is particularly funny either. One, or, perhaps I should say 'the MC community' needs mostly clean stuff to throw the filth into sharper relief. So I think my conclusion is to bring on the odd willy joke, and not to start complaining until we've had several in succession.

[Pen] I was about to agree wholeheartedly (and indeed KS's first line was singularly juvenile), but I went to the game and in fact there aren't any crude limericks currently on the top page. So, although I agree with your sentiment, you may actually be overstating the issue. Actually, I think we went through a dip into the area where saucy starts bordering on filthy a couple of weeks ago and have climbed out again.
continuing
Maybe you're influenced by the output on MCiOS - but I wouldn't class any of the currently visible lot as more than saucy.
Addendum
Also, I don't actually think tits do like melons.
I'm with penelope in this instance. That line was pathetic, and completely out of keeping with the tone of the website.
More generally [SM] I believe your example #1 shows the type of limerick many of us prefer. The form may have its root in ribaldry, but there's a clear market for amusing rhymes and syllabic dexterity rather than innuendo.
*waves from Strasbourg* Well, I've emerged victorious from my part 1 exams - what are we all up to this weekend?
Weekend
I'll be drumming at this event on Saturday. Have spent this morning sanding down a batch of new bachi.
My son turns 16 tomorrow ("arrrghhh, not more fireworks, Dad!!!!"). Having family & friends round on Sunday to celebrate. Can't do tomorrow as it's the school open day.
Next Friday is more interesting, as I'll be playing The Last Post, alone, at Beaumont Leys Shopping Centre (which covers 7 acres (2.8ha), as I presume you've never been). Never played it in public before, so I'm somewhat "bricking it".
I'm 6 hours behind...
Happy Guy Fawkes Day/Night!
breaking radio silence
Making an official request for a new round of Clerihew poems. Always liked the metrical freedom they afforded me as a rookie MC'er.
Come rhyme with me
[Juxtapose] Given the glacial pace of game turnover here, I feel obliged to point you gently in the direction of a Clerihew game currently taking place over at Orange.
slow madness
You know you've been in a brace for too long when you reach for the velcro strap to haul your other (unbound, uninjured) leg around too.

Only two more days, i hope.

Fingers crossed for you, flerdle.
Fingers also crossed, flerdle.

Things are incredibly dangerous around here - a thick fog has enveloped the city and driving is an exciting adventure in remembering which is your exit as the signs have disappeared in the mist. Oh well.
run away
I'm free! FREE! Ahahahahahah!

Oh sh!t. I have no muscle now. *crumples*

Good news
[Flerdle] Just get started on going for walks to build it up. When you're no longer walking in a circle, you're better.
lol - genuinely :)
mijn ook. Ik lollt. Oooh... converting txt-speak into Dutch is fun!
[pen] share the joke.
I make that either:
'Me too, I lol'd' or
'My Orang Utan is slumped in his chair'
[Softers] the Dutch have a fairly regular set of verb endings, and have co-opted quite a few English words, which they adapt by tampering with the verb endings. So, you'll get something like 'Checken' - to check; Ik checkt, u checkd, etc. And 'Springen' - to jump. Although I was disappointed to learn that they hadn't bothered to co-opt 'trampolinen' - to jump on a trampoline. Ik trampolint would be very useful, I thought.
[INJ] Correct.
[pen] Of course my experience of Dutch predates txtpraat.
French has done the same thing, except worse. They don't just text LOL, and write G instead of j'ai, they say LOL in conversation. No sign of 'j'ai LOLé' for the moment, but it's only a matter of time until I see my nieces again.
it's all gone, gone, gone...
It's sop foggy here in Rotterdam this morning that from the window of my 6th floor office, I can see nothing but mist. But I can hear the pile-driver thud-thud-thudding away on the building site in the middle of campus.
Over to the weather where you are
Getting weathered on near Southampton. Walked from the hotel to the office (through woods) and in half an hour got a sharp shower, mist, a beautiful sunrise and mirky greyness. Plus a couple of roe deer - always a bonus.
Weather eye
It is bright and sunny here, 15C. :o)
Max 14.0°C here and sunny. The sky is still clear (8.15 pm) and it's only gone down to about 9° so no excuse not to get the telescope out, though I'm sure I can find one.
The snowheads on the weather group have gone very sulky and are reduced to looking at charts 16 days ahead which everyone (including the snowfreaks) knows should be labelled "For entertainment only". Ho ho, hee hee.
33°C and humid is forecast for the day. Currently very sultry (the weather, not me).
Not quite so warm a forecast for Dujon's place. About 30°C today. Tomorrow though is different. 36°C is the current guess. I do hope that the BoM is wrong.
Megathermality
(Dujon) Hmm, 36° is a bit much. It exceeds my record by the smallest possible amount. (10 Aug 03). Last December 36°F (2C) would have been a bonus. (Monthly mean 0.1°C, should be just over 5°).
Yes, when I moved down here I was somewhat unaccustomed to the heat. My first day of 42°C was somewhat of a revelation. When the wind blows it's a bit like living in a hairdryer. Still, it's a fairly dry heat in Melbourne, not like that nasty humid heat you get in the tropics.
[nfras] Indeed. I vividly remember 43+ degrees combined with gale force winds as something I had never encountered before. 43 degrees, been there done that. Gale force winds, likewise. The two together -- a completely new meteorological experience.
[CdM] Presumably you'd have a wind warming factor, so that 43 degrees in a wind feels as hot as 50?
Further megathermality
(Raak, CdM) It's the wet-bulb temperature that counts. This is the temperature of a wet or moist surface, lowered by evaporation of water or in this case sweat. I know that the hot blast from the interior is very dry and the wet-bulb could be as low as 20° if the humidity is about say 10%. So the stronger the wind the cooler you'll feel. My guess is that those conditions are far from intolerable. Was that actually the case?
Sweating
[Rosie] Yes and No. Remember that it's relative humidity that is normally quoted. Then there is the problem of how much an individual sweats and thus the effectiveness of its cooling. Perhaps this is why some people enjoy warm weather whilst others find it uncomfortable.
I cannot speak for others but in my case when it becomes really hot and the relative humidity is high (say, over 20%) my sweat pores open and drench me in my own perspiration but affords no relief.
dry good, wet bad
[Rosie] Yesterday I went for an experimental hop around town and it was fine. Very pleasant in fact. Then again I don't perspire much, and have a famously warped sense of temperature. The wind was strong enough to affect how easy it was for me in my somewhat delicate state to move about (out at Tulla it seems to have measured a constant 40-50km/h all day; in the city it was all over the place). Temp was 34°C with rel hum of 23% and "wet bulb depression" according to the BoM of 14 - so i suppose that made it a nice 20°C day.
[flerdle] Wet Bulb Depression? Sounds like what happens when you have a nurse take your temperature.
Staying out of the kitchen
(flerdle) Those figures all tie up according to my Tables of everything to do with meteorology. It seems to me that the climate of Melbourne is mostly rather bland and pleasant but every now and then someone leaves the oven door open and SE Australia gets scorched but that's probably preferable to the constant high humidity of somehwere near the equator even if the the temperature rarely rises above about 33°. Power to yer lallies, BTW. Kangaroo motion sounds hard work.
Antipodes
In just over a week Mrs Software and I will be landing in Melbourne. We plan a trip along the coast to Narooma to meet an old coleague and then Sydney where we fly to NZ for my daughter's wedding. so lets hope the weather is up to speed by then.
[Software] When do you arrive? And are you staying in Melbourne for any period of time? Because if so we should definitely organise a meeting in your honour. I think flerdle is game to walk just about anywhere now.
[Softers, CdM] I concur.
Will only be in Melbourne briefly as we are heading down the coast to Warrnambool. Sadly we have planned a tight schedule visiting relatives and friends so on this occasion it may not be possible. But as I now have a daughter down under this will not be my last trip!
NZ is not Down Under. It is Under And To The Right of Down Under, but close enough. :)
(nfras) Shurely it's even more Down Under than Australia from a UK point of view.
Uhhh
I am a straight female, just so y'all know.
Rectilinearity
(KagShu) No-one has suspected otherwise, though it must be said that many men, including this one, appreciate a modest degree of curvature.
Okay, I was just confused by some comments I saw earlier while I was MIA - writing for NaNoWriMo.
[KS] Ah, OK. I thought I had missed something. :)
I was pretty sure you were female but admit that sexual orientation hadn't crossed my mind.
Reminds me of an interesting (well it is to me) story. When I was in high school we had a mock exam in English. I was talking to one of the teachers afterwards about the two examples given in one question. Both were travel pieces, neither was attributed. My teacher explained that almost everyone had identified the writer of the first piece as a male and the second as a female. Neither piece had anything that clearly identified the gender of the author. The funny thing was the writer of the first piece was male, and the writer of the second was female, and they were both written by the same person. The journalist had undergone a sex change between writing the two articles (there was a gap of about 5 years between them) but somehow most people had picked up a difference in the way each article was written. Spooky!
[KS] Those of us who went to your book website some time ago had guessed at the gender (either that or your parents really didn't like you!). Sexual orientation has never been an issue in the morniverse as far as I can tell.
He, she or it
(KS) It's been obvious to me almost from the word go that you were female, just as I reckon it's equally obvious that I am not. Gay or straight, nobody's bothered here.
No way!
Rosie's a bloke? Well, stone me!
[Phil] we all wondered why you had been flirting with him for so long.
(INJ) Chalky sussed me out immediately, years ago. But like me he's pretty astute.
No way!
Rosie's astute? Well, stone me!
(nfras) Hmm, not quite astute enough to be absolutely certain that you got my joke. Grovelling apols if you did. This is getting so elliptical it's in danger of disappearing up its own latus rectum.
Rosie's a stoat? Blimey, my whole world is crumbling sound me!
Well, there you go Philippa, it just shows you shouldn't jump to conclusions.
What a silly old gal I am. "sound" should have read "around".
[Rosie] The joke was received and understood, as I hope mine was :)
I forget that I've known some of you lot for nearly 13 years, and what might appear plain as day to me is unfathomable to others. (THIRTEEN years???!!!)
Spanning-tree topology change
Those of you who noticed Friday evening's outage (I certainly didn't) will be reassured to know that it was "triggered by a spanning-tree topology change [creating] a broadcast storm". I presume this refers to platform alterations on the Circle Line prompting unladylike outbursts from Samantha.
(nfras) I may have underestimated your sense of humour. The thing is, I have actually met Chalky. (Shut up at the back)
(rab) A spanning-tree is clearly a reference to an old-style wooden railway sleeper. There's been some re-ballasting and realignment of the track and one of the permanent way gang, in defiance of regulations, has put it on Twitter.
[pen] only 13 years? Newbie! ;-)
[Rosie] My sense of humour is childish, absurdust and crude. Much like me really. I hope to meet a bunch of you when I am next back in the Old Country, depending on when that is. I tried to get to see Phil last time I was over but the god of the M6 is a cruel and jealous god and sent plagues of cones, jams and Eddie Stobart to confound me.
(nfras) Well, that's the M6 for you. The deity of the B269 is much more benign, and I live just off it.
But seriously, folks...
[pen] It is rather daunting isn't it. I've been doing this online since 1995. It's strange that the number of contributors has stayed fairly stable over the years, as if the world of MC can only sustain a certain number of people. I was looking at the Yorkives the other day, trying to find my first contribution. Brought back many memories, many of which I can't even remember.
[Phil] Didn't you know there's a one-in, one-out policy? Now, if you could start to think about making a move now please, ...
has met quite a few Morniversers . . .
... most of whom might discern the subtle difference between 'quite a lot of' [which I'd originally typed] and 'quite a few'.
[rab] There can't be a one-in, one-out policy. If the gestalt entity that is Uncle Korky/INJ/CdM/Dujon left, it would take time to invent new personae. Stevie would have a fit.
[rab] I think you've terrified everyone into silence, too afraid to stick their heads above the parapet and say anything in case anyone remembers how long they've been here, and 'isn't it time you made room for someone new?'.
I think I must be approaching my 10th anniversary, but I could be out by a couple of years either way.
Very little of the threatened snow in southern England - so no excuse for leaving early for my 4 hour drive home.
Threatened snow? Haven't seen/read/heard a forecast for two days. Must update myself.
Niviation
An inch of snow here this morning. It settled on the grass and even on the side roads for a time.
Just wind, rain and 2.5C here in Rotterdam. And final day in the office before January - hurrah!
Tauranga
I cane to NZ for my daughter's wedding equipped for sun and sand, however I need an umbrella and gumboots.
Florida
Pleasant and sunny down here in Florida. And I've been here about 14 years I think.
Clarification
Er, when I say "here" I don't mean Florida. I mean here.
Heisenberg
(CdM) Could you move around a bit, preferably completely at random and as fast as possible. Then we will know your location to a greater degree of accuracy than currently specified.
He already does
[Rosie] I don't think that works for molecules of CdM. On the other hand, the speed of a flerdle is highly dependent on slope, being relatively speedy now along a flat, perfectly horizontal surface and very much slower on any inclination or declination, whereas say a rock or a basketball shows very different behaviour.

Oh, and *waves from sunny Brisbane*

(flerdle) Are you saying that cadmium-containg alloys are beyond the laws of physics? Outrageous! Don't tell Uri Geller, whatever you do. May your mobility on inclined planes rapidly approach the norm.
talking of Uri Geller and planes...
Uri Geller sat three seats in front of me and my mother on a flight from Venice to the UK. I watched the rivets and joins of the wings and fuselage very carefully during the entire flight. (Stranegly enough, Jude Law sat in front of us on the flight out. He's much smaller than you think.)
Not the size you thought
I flew with the late lamented Phil Linott on the little 40-seater from Dublin to Leeds once. He was very tall - pushing 2m, I reckon.
Orthography
(pen) Stranegly sounds like a small village in Scotland. Hard luck. :-)
(INJ) Two miles? Yeah, that's big, too big, obviously.
[Rosie] I've just moved rapidly to Tennessee, if that helps. Drove up through an impressive storm, as well. Hearing the tornado sirens wailing as we were driving was a little unnerving.
very tropical
It is pouring rain this evening here (in Brisbane still) but, unusually, there is no lightning/thunder at all.
Vorticity
(CdM) I thought you were somewhere round there. I'm envious of your vigorous local convective activity. All we get here is mist, drizzle and general gloom. It's mild (10°) much to the disgust of the snowfreaks, but they're either weird or bonkers.
[Rosie] Have you seen the W Yorkshire lenticular cloud photos doing the rounds today?
Altocumulus lenticularis
(Phil) I certainly have - brilliant. We don't get 'em round here because the hills aren't high enough. You should see the ones they get in New Zealand and in the USA in the lee of The Rockies. More envy. :-(
Land of the long white cloud
[Rosie] Sadly I have seen many of them though it is midsummer here. Oh, well, now it is Christmas.
Land of extensive featureless stratus giving slight drizzle
(Softers) At least you can see the sides and ends.
Land of - what now?
What ends? We saw no ends on our Christmas eve and day. Very wet, windy, and uncomfortable.
singing
I saw the clouds on Christmas day, their old familiar shades of gray, the raindrops fell and I could tell the weather was so dreary, hey.
[KS, G] Where was that?
lenticular loomers
I saw something approaching lenticular cloudage a couple of days after Christmas, over the Lincolnshire wolds - a splendid sight, but I don't think it would have lenticulated fully. Now, back in, the Netherlands, it's drizzling heavily, grey, it's already getting dark, and sounds like a war zone out there as the village boys have been setting off their Belgian firecrackers all day, and the farm boys have been filling old milk churns with carbide bomblets and shooting the lids off across the fields. One way of seeing out the old year, I suppose. The windy miller and I are planning a quiet night in with a couple of slow-cooked lamb shanks and a bottle of wine.
Cloudage?? Oh, pen, pleeeze! Even the most anorakky weather nut doesn't talk like that. Did it give rainage, which went down the drainage? Or was it snowage, so your car needed towage? <rapper>

Good to hear that Dutch boys are allowed out, unsupervised, to be a little naughty.

clearage
It was a totally clear night here after a hot and almost completely cloud-free day - something of a rarity here. I did not bother going in to town for the fireworks, but watched a very decent display from the back yard. They seemed to be coming from the general direction of a local school and went on for a very long time. A licence is needed to even obtain fireworks here, let alone let them off, though some people manage it anyway.

Apparently the Arts Centre spire caught fire. Whoops.

Happy New Year to the collective mc5ers.
verbage
[Rosie] I'm not playing with words as a weather nut, I'm playing with words as a word nut. So there. *raspberry* *winkage*
BTW
HNY all.
Oh, go on then
[pen] Happy new year, but as a fellow word nut, I wonder why you don't abhor the current lazy vogue for "-age" creations, spewing spurious neologisms all over the place. *winkage continued*
Umbrage
(pen) Ah, "Raspberry". That was the whole family's nickname for my piano teacher when I was a child. Little could she have imagined that I would be blowing the said fruit down a 9-ft tube 30 years later. Real name Doris Austin (Miss). Always going on about my fingerage and phrasage. A bit fierce but good. Not one to indulge in winkage, as you can imagine.
usage
.. not even a spot of badinage?
Carthage
(Carthage?) I remember talking a load of -age badinage with a wordy friend some time around 1998, but don't recall seeing much of it since then. We also had a go at adding '-ster' on the end of evey word. That was fun too. But I don't like Dutch enough to have fun with the national habit of making a diminutive out of everything to informalise it; bier > biertje, jongen >jongetje, bord > bordtje. (Beer, lad and plate, respectivly.)
BTW Chalks, what are you doing up so early? (Or so late?)
Cobblers!
[pen] is Schoenlappertje a diminutive term for a cobbler? All I know is that it's a blummin' good non-sweet, blackcurrant beer.
I need to set fire to a Manchester suburb
....Wantage of Burnage. Boo-boom!
[Phil] Yus, it is. I took the 'tje' off it and ran it through Googletranslate, then the Brain of Google told me it was cobblers.
[pen] Smashing. If you see a bottle, I'd thoroughly recommend buying and drinking it.
Pilgrimage
Following suggestions at MC in Outerspace, would a Saturday in March be suitable for an MCPilg in London? Do see the discussion in the Pilgrim Game on Orange-age
Location
I live in Lake Charles, LA, USA.
ages and ages . . .
You know, like Ron on Kim Possible would say "snackage." I guess you could say on Friday I got my "concertage" on? Or is that my "nerdage" for the band Lost And Found?
Pilg
[KS] Yes, you'd probably have to make a full weekend of it. Still, I'm sure accommodation could be arranged.
Angels
KS] Yes, feel free to combine it with a longer visit to our fair shores.
Hang on Guys, I've just had this great idea! LAPilg?
(INJ) LA is an awful long way for Ms Shuko.
Geographically challenged
Ah, Yes. Still, it's not a bad idea.
[INJ] I think what you wanted to propose was NOPilg. I might sign up for that one!
Or maybe La Pilg (or should I say le pélérinage)
LAPilg
INJ's idea for a Pilg in Louisiana sounds great for Ms Shuko - a bit far for the rest of us though...
You know you're getting old when...
you're filling out a form online that requires your date of birth and when you click the drop-down box to bring up your year of birth you have to scroll down to find it.....
Kim, you're catching up. When I click on those things I get a depth reading. 6' is becoming uncomfortably close. :)
dob
I was filling in one that offered me the opportunity to say I was born in 1900!
I still love web forms that insist on postcodes for (republic of) Irish addresses. I know of a few parcels that have arrived at Irish houses addressed to, e.g. Mr M O'Donnell, 10 Ardan Bothar an Glas, Drogheda, Co Louth, Sorry Mr Postman, Amazon wouldn't let me order this unless I had a postcode.
[Phil] Even worse are forms that insist on only allowing US Zip Codes. Or only allowing US states, even though you have selected a country other than the US.
(nfras) I've never found that, and I've bought quite a bit of stuff from the USA (music, books). In fact the last order they sent twice. Anybody want a copy of the conductor score for The Chicken, arr. Kriss Berg?
postcode
Phil] I'm surprised that the phrase fitted in the postcode box!
[nfras] which reminds me that many Irish people I know have put 90210 in the postcode section :-)
[Merlyn] Even stupider are the web form designers that don't limit the number of characters.
Yes, if I am ever going to be in the UK, I'd let you know. Though, I don't know if I'll ever be. New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Alexandria, Metairie - all places in LA that are "close enough" for me. Shreveport and Monroe are a little far, but doable. Texas - Houston, Beaumont, Orange. Far, but doable - Seguin, New Braunfels, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Ft. Worth. . .
I've sometimes seen the addresses things that can be irritating toanybody. Yep, even sometimes to us in the US. I tell things that I don't live in the Ukraine. Silly forms. However, it's not usually those for me. It's those CAPTCHAs. I've had one in Greek, one we think was in something like Urdo or Arabic . . . some others with weird symbols.
Did you know there's a country with a name that states a fact about weather? ********************** Ukraine ************************* Get it? UK Rain E (rainy)
Compulsory fields
The field that irks me when compulsory is that of "County", for counties in the sense implied by the form ceased to exist in Scotland in the 70s, and Edinburgh is one of those places (like Manchester) where the city and county are much the same thing. Or, to put it another way, they lie within Unitary Authority Areas of the same name. So in the box I'm often reduced to writing "Scotland", when they let me get away with that, or "Midlothian" when they force a choice. Perhaps in the future I should paste in what I've written here...

I'm sure I've told the story before of how my credit card company managed to have my address as being in "Manchester, Lancashire, Lancashire". When I moved to Edinburgh, it changes to "Edinburgh, Midlothian, Lancashire"...

Pilgrimage
Pilgrimage in London proposed for 24th March. See discussion here: http://www.dunx.org/cgi-bin/forum?forum=game00074&displayStyle=york&tail=40#bottom
Please keep all discussion on the Orange site to avoid cross posting confusion
that doesn't mean...
You can all talk about other things here, you know! How was your week?
Hard - preparing documents for government officials :(
Next week, I start my new job though :)
New Jobber
[Phil] excellent!
My week started in England with shopping and the best fish and chips for lunch in Cleethorpes on Monday, sailed across the North Sea at night (failed to see the Northern Lights despite peering out from the deck at nearly midnight), busy time at work (wrote loads, organised a reception for the sustainability team at the business school). Now: finishing off more loads of writing, and trying to plan ahead.
Started a blog. It's under my Second Life identity, though, so no-one need try looking for it.
My week
Very very tough, for reasons that I'm not going to get into. But, on the bright side, not quite as tough as the week before.
[Raak] Is that a slog?
[Phil] Ha ha, yes, a SLog, hopefully not a slog! Just a few snaps of places in SL so far.
Travelogue
Back after a fortnight in Ethiopia, where Mrs INJ and I had wanted to go for years. A fascinating place – the oldest continuously Christian country in the world and the only African country never to be colonised (the Italians never subdued it in the 1930s). It has a fascinating culture with a history mixed with legend. This is the country of the Queen of Sheba, who was seduced by Solomon and whose son Menelik is said to have brought the Ark of the Covenant back from Israel. It is the country of the Axumite civilisation whose trade reached as far away as West Africa, Zanzibar, Sri Lanka and the Caucasus (as well as possibly supplying some of the ‘Nubian’ pharaohs) and who raised huge pillars over their tombs (the great stele in Axum is believed to be the tallest monolith ever made – although it probably fell and broke almost immediately after it had been erected). It is a country with a tradition of building churches and monasteries in the most inaccessible places; culminating in the rock-cut churches of Lalibela, created by cutting down into the solid rock from above – if they had been in Europe they would have been as well-known as Notre Dame.
It is intensely Christian for the most part; you have to have a reasonable knowledge of Christian tradition to get the most from the cultural aspects of the country. We went for Timkat – the major festival, which is at Epiphany in the Coptic/Julian calendar and celebrates both the adoration of the Magi and Christ’s baptism with mass-participation parades, street celebrations and young adult baptism. And yet it is tolerant of other faiths – there is a significant muslim minority (10%+) and a few Rastafarians and others and no obvious conflict.
It also has magnificent and varied scenery with mountains, lakes, rivers with spectacular waterfalls (the Tissisat falls on the Blue Nile share the meaning of their name with the local name for the Victoria Falls – Mosi oa Tunya, or ‘the smoke that thunders’) and vast empty depressions where rivers disappear into salt pans. The birdlife is still abundant and varied, although much of the larger wildlife is under threat from a large population with a tradition of hunting.
The downsides? Tourist infrastructure isn’t great – hotels have irregular water and electricity, roads are mostly poor (and occasionally atrocious), there is poverty, though no famine at the moment after a very good harvest – much earlier famine was caused by difficulties in distributing food rather than an absolute lack of it. The food is OK, especially if you like injira, the staple bread substitute, which bears a certain resemblance to cold wet flannel IMO.
Oh, and as a bonus, we went to a resort owned by Haile Gabreselassie and he was there, so we got to have a chat and a photo-opportunity.
If you aren’t too insistent on comfort, then go if you get the chance.
[INJ] Really interesting, thanks for sharing.
[Tuj]Indeed.
Meteorology
Solid steady snow in Derby now. Started with light and gentle about 3pm - now big wetter flakes - could be interesting if it keeps up overnight.
Had a choir concert last night - everyone got there fine, but I think nearly half the choir couldn't get home.
singing to stay cheerful
[Knobbers] Yikes.
[INJ] it's 'only' -4C here today. (I know Néa will better this statistic). Yesterday was the most startlingly clear, bright, cold chilly day I have seen since I was in Vermont in January 1988. I put some photos on my Facebook page, if you can see that. We had a couple of inches of powdery snow on Friday afternoon, but early yesterday morning it was -12C (according to the ladies in the bakery, who were in at 5am), rising to -10C by the time the windy miller and I headed out to his mill, and brilliantly sunny - one of those winter days when you get a big and welcome dose of sunlight. Random banks of fog drifting around the area added a thick and sparkling rime to the the lines of pollard willows and alders lining the dikes on our route there. The water container inside the mill was frozen - it was -8C in there. It was a truly spectacular weather day.
Super!
Apologies for writing like Jilly Cooper. I'm having the equivalent of a guilty McDonald's hamburger and reading her latest paperback at the moment.
[pen] yeah :-)
Cold
Just about to go and have a teleconference with our Ukrainian development team. They were reporting -30 last week, but then Kiev does have a bit of a heat island effect.
It's like a clean scene from Alien!
I do hope Raak is not on of those SLers who has to have an SL wife give SL birth! I saw a video of that and the baby came straigh out of the stomach . . . something very disturbing about that!
random
Was that really Raak? Perhaps he's having an out-of-body experience.
[!Raak] 'Ere, oo are you?
[pen] The whole point of SL is to have out-of-body experiences, I think. I suspect that SLRaak has somehow got free and is posting here along with RLRaak. But, in this virtual space (where we can't see the giveaway goatee) how will we be able to tell them apart?
Daaahn-da-dun-dun... Daaahn-da-dun-dun-DAAAAH
SL Raak isn't called Raak, of course. I think of her as an imaginary version of myself.
[Raak] So do I.
Hidden textJust typing that gave me the creeps
She has a male shape and skin as well, but rarely wears them.
Well, that brought the conversation to a standstill
Going out to bang a few drums shortly, then various errands and home. Snow and ice is still lying here and there but the roads are all clear.
clear roads
The roads are clear here too. It's bluddy cold though. I saw a small car (one of the 'moped cars' with a teeny engine that requires no proper driving licence) driving across the ice on the dog-leg shaped dead-end remnant of river called the Binnenmaas by the mill this morning. And a quad-bike doing power-slides and throwing up powdered snow on the ice too.
Ice and thickness
[Pen] This is a serious question as frozen rivers are a rarity where I live. How do the drivers of such vehicles (or even skaters and skiers for that matter) know that the ice is sufficient to carry their distributed weight? It sound rather fraught to me.
Sluggish
[Duj] The stretch of water I refer to *was* a river but became a lake in the 13th century when the intrepid Dutch diverted the flow of the Maas at this point into another channel to improve its navigability. It could be considered a small lake now, although it also acts as a reservoir for water pumped out of the polder on its way to the river proper. So, all these 'frozen rivers' are actually frozen lakes and canals, where water can stand still for long periods, allowing it to freeze. As to the thickness of the ice, the Dutch are very organised about this kind of thing. Every stretch of water, it seems, has an 'icemaster' who will measure the thickness and deem it fit for skating. The Dutch rarely do things independently; they love to do everything together, so there aren't a lot of daredevils going it alone in defying the icemaster. And they are aware of where the water is deep or not deep - falling through the ice into shallow water is acceptable, it seems. As for me, I discovered the other night that years and years of being warned not to go onto dangerous British ice have left me with a terror of walking on even the safest Dutch ice. That's another activity that the windy miller will have to do without me. :o/
In other news, I have been measured up for sunglasses at the opticians, and have bought a pair of summer shoes on Ebay - ones that I was dithering about in a high street shop last summer, but have found at one-third of the price on Ebay. Now, if the temperature would just lift above freezing for the first time in a fortnight...
It's that thing again
It just started snowing again. Arse.
A man of little trust
[Penelope] Thanks. From memory of my short time in England falling through the ice did my shoes and confidence little good. Perhaps I was a sook? I'm off now to my local bottle shop (off licence) to purchase my week's vittles. I might wobble a bit but I'm confident that I will not sink. ;)
6C
Blimey, it's hot.
Nearly a week has passed again. Apparently it's going to be scorchio on Thursday in the UK.
reduced to weather updates
[Phil] Indeed. If it carries on like this, I'll be getting the box of summer clothes out of the attic.
Is spring springing?
It has warmed up to double figures on the rock, hopefully no more hard frosts - which will encourage the bloody grass to grow.
Then you'll be moaning about mowing the stuff! :)
It's more than three years since I was responsible for a lawn. I'm not sure if I miss it or not. The house we currently live in is a bit weird and unfriendly as far as outside space is concerned. The gravelled space in the back yard is designed to be looked at rather than walked on or used; I think the person who designed it wouldn't make the same design again.
I'm sure I don't miss it. We finally took out our front lawn last year and did fun things involving boulders and native plants what have various qualities such as being interesting looking year round. I also dug out swathes of the back yard and planted a soil-improving winter crop and will be attempting some vegetable gardening this year. The purist in me wants to do it without spending as much on soil amendments as the veg would have cost in the market. The neighbor's massive fir tree dropping needles all over doesn't do wonders for the pH, so I will probably have to do something.
[Dan] Stevie probably has a chainsaw you can borrow.
Water, water everywhere
This comment will only interest those of us who live in the land of drought and flooding plains.
Warragamba dam, built to act as a reservoir for Sydney's drinking water rather than a flood mitigation device, is almost at a level that will trigger the spillways to do their job. To the best of my knowledge the last time this happened was in about 1998. Given that I don't live down stream of the dam I really shouldn't start singing 'Oh, happy days', but I will. :)
[Dujon] You could sell some to the SE of England.
[INJ] It'd make a change. The spillways have in fact been actuated and the additional water added to the Nepean/Hawkesbury river system has submerged bridges and brought about the expected flooding - minor at this stage.
water water water water water
[Dujon] Hoping you haven't been washed off your mountain up there. Looks dreadful.
Wobblies
[flerdle] No, m'dear, although the world did seem to move yesterday when I was nowhere near the kitchen table! I think though that it was but the garbage truck doing its rounds. ;)
That could have been a summer's day
Shorts and T-shirt today and mowing the lawn for the first time.
A slightly silly pondering
Over any given year where I live there must be thousands of birds fly over, take up temporary digs whilst migrating or live within a territory they have staked out in which my humble plot of land exists. Why do dead birds not litter my land and the local parks? Cockatoos are blessed with long lives whilst the smaller birds such as finches and wrens are supposed to be relatively short lived (they were when I used to breed them.) Over the last ten years I have seen two (2) deceased avians. One was a parrot in the local park and the other a juvenile butcher bird which I witnessed being attacked by other local birds.
Why is it so? Are there places scattered around the world where birds go to die? Is there an ornithologist in the house?
A couple of thoughts from an ameteur birder (but not an ornithologist, still less a twitcher). The ones flying over are pretty healthy, as are the ones you see staking out territories. Ill and infirm birds will tend to hide where predators can't see them, such as in thick undergrowth. Also dead birds don't tend to last long. Generally predator birds and rodents dispose of them quickly. They also decompose very quickly, bones and all, as the bones are mostly pretty fragile. Having said that, I reckon to find 3 or 4 dead birds a year in my ordinary suburban garden, and that doesn't count the drifts of feathers left when our local sparrowhawk has caught another little bird too intent on one of our feeders to keep a proper look out.
Salient points, INJ, I have no doubt. Ants too can do a very efficient demolition job on a carcass, but I doubt (in fact would reject) the idea that bird feathers are nutriment for scavengers. The reason for that attitude is that individual feathers, presumably resulting from natural 'moulting', are common and most certainly not a part of a drift of feathers produced by either direct attack or the efforts of scavengers. Who hasn't come across a particularly attractive feather from time to time and wondered what type of bird lost it?
[Dujon] Indeed, I'm sure that in your neck of the woods ants will be particularly efficient at cleaning up. I agree feathers are a bit different, but they must be destroyed fairly quickly if only because otherwise we'd be up to our necks in them. Also they are pretty much pure keratin which, despite its toughness, is none the less protein and so crying out to be recycled. I'm now into speculation, but I would suspect insects & bugs are likely to be the cleaning crew and will reprocess the feathers into chitin etc.
Surely there's someone in the morniverse who can add a bit more scientific rigour at this point.
All I know is...
Big fleas have little fleas,
Upon their backs to bite 'em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas,
and so, ad infinitum.
The_Siphonaptera
Back biting
[pen] My old dad used to recite that one to me..
Dad chat
[Softers] Mine too. Is it a dad thing?
When dads recite cute poems
To their children oh so clever
They then recite them to their own
And on and on for ever.
Ditties not deadies
[p,S & P] Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your most edifying contributions. ;)
We didn't rehearse it, honest
[Duj] Graag gedaan. I love the collective brain of this place.
My pleasure, ma'am
So do I, though it's often somewhat of the variety known as scatter.
Poems
Poems I learned when I was little were "Eletelephony," "Ooey Gooey," and "A Peanut Sat on a Rail Road Track." The one my Daddy really liked to recite was "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts."
My Silly Poem
I enjoy all this doggerel
As much as tasty custard
I like to read the silly words
That [Pen] and [Dujon] mustered.
More dad pomes ...
If all the world were apple pie
And all the sea were ink
And all the trees were bread and cheese
What would we have to drink?
Pedigree doggerel
I find it all so flattering
That you so like that poem
But this could take a battering
If scoured with fine-toothed comb.
How about...
how about a new game (to replace the terminally ill holiday anagrams) in which we can record the wonderful aphorisms passed on by our parents (whether in verse or prose). It might make a useful repository of knowledge. Or it might not.
One favourite from my dad is "If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had eggs."
Worth a try.
[Phil] +1 for that.
*approves*
It's a tough job
Just come back from a long weekend in Reims, tasting champagne, partly paid for by Mrs INJ's sister as a joint significant birthday present (late for her, early for me). Just got to arrange the party now!
How awful for you
[INJ] Think of the headaches and the expense...!!
Just got back from a weekend with my mum in England. I did the 'SH' of POSH with a forced upgrade on the ferry to England - I had to take an outside 5-berth cabin with double bed, bigger bathroom and satellite TV as a solo occupant instead of an inside cabin with 2 bunkbeds, no TV and cubicle bathroom. As I'd had a v. busy day at work with no time for lunch, I celebrated with steak, chips and a huge glass of red wine in the brasserie on board, and woke up just as we were sailing into the Humber past Spurn Point lighthouse. *sigh*
It's lovely to see that we still have stoics contributing to the site. 8-)
Death of Games wanted
I just tried to end the Holiday Anagrams game, but the usual didn't work.
Chain pulled
[Raak] I've put it out of its misery, which - thanks to the miracles of modern technology - I did from the comfort of the toilet, appropriatly enough.
Anaphorisms
[Phil] Go for it, while there's a slot.
this weekend I will be mostly
Cleaning cupboards, laundrifying (it's a good drying day) and cursing the internet radio as it keeps cutting out during the best bits.
is it just me?
I've just discovered (via AVMA) that there is a good chance that cfm is female. That led me to wonder to myself: why/how do I create mental images of MCers, based purely on their posts on this site (and others)? And why do I oh-so-frequently turn out to be wrong?
[Phil] Absoliutely - Uncle Korky had me fooled for a long time with the name and the false whiskers, and there aren't that many Philippas around either.
Also, if you follow CdM's 'helpful reference' on AVMA you'll see that the question of cfm's gender may not be resolved.
Gender bending
It is amazing how often first impressions can be wrong. I wonder if some in the Morniverse deliberately conceal their true gender/sex whichever applies?
[INJ] Indeed, hence my "good chance" comment. I don't actually make assumptions, as far as I'm aware, but I do have a "mind's eye" that seems to kick in subconsciously. Call it a woman's intuition if you will.
*smiles androgynously*
*thought irach and cfm were one and the same* :-)
Test
Things seem to be 'working' after an upgrade, but I got enough error messages I'm a bit uncertain. At least I remembered to not have the magic quotes thing turn itself back on.
Oh good.
Things indeed weren't 'working', but now they are. Apologies for any inconvenience etc.
apols not needed
[rab] Grateful thanks that the site is here at all - it's somewhere for me to come when I'm trying to avoid converting a 'stream of consciousness' from the Dean into something approaching an introduction for the latest issue of the alumni mag. Inspiration needed - and I'm sure I'll find it by writing limericks and doggerel.
7 days of silence
Well, that was an interesting couple of days. I may have found a house to move to, 5 miles from work, and a school for the kids to go to, which lies 80% of the way to work. It also happens to have had the 2nd best A-level results in the country for a state school last year. Lots of forms to fill in now :-(
Formation
[Phil] Jolly good. Here in NL, house prices are dropping (9% this year, apparently, but they are grossly over-priced) and the windy miller is getting busier and busier. Also, I get a permanent work contract this summer (after 3 years of one-year contracts) which makes it easier for us to get a mortgage. I may have a new house with a BATH and a DISHWASHER by the end of the year!
[pen] If only I could get a mortgage :( It's rental for us for a while yet.
What I did this weekend
In gratitude for all the tens of thousands of pounds worth of business I've put their way over the years, Marriott Hotels gave me a couple of tickets to the London Sevens Rugby at Twickenham on Sunday. I'd just like to say that the 15 minutes in which Fiji demolished the All-Blacks was the most exciting bit of rugby I've ever watched.
A picking of the collective mornibrain
Is anyone here particularly knowledgeable about Venice? MsCdM, MsCdM junior and I are going to a conference in Florence at the end of next month, and we are then planning also to visit Venice. The only places I have been in Italy are Rome and Turin, so I am interested in any recommendations -- if anyone has specific hotels they could recommend, that would be particularly useful. We're happy to pay for location and comfort (up to a point; we are certainly not looking for recommendations to 5 star hotels).
Travel advisor
I stopped at the Hotel Al Sole on the Fondamenta Minotta which is walking distance from the station. It was some years ago but it was good and relatively cheap (nothing is cheap in Venice). There was a family run restaurant a couple of doors away which was one of the best around we discovered having eaten elsewhere.
tripping
We stayed in a cheap place in San Polo, so no help with accommodation here :-) . We had little idea and didn't mind the adventure so turned up and booked a place at the visitor booth at the station. But I've generally found when planning trips that online accommodation sites are fine to give an idea of what's around, and perhaps get a good deal. Anywhere in Santa Croce, San Polo or San Marco will put you in the thick of things and be easily accessible from the station, especially if you travel light like I do. The train from Florence is very quick and regular, so no problem getting there and back, we stayed for two nights coming from our Florence base and that did not feel too short a time, but it would have been good to stay a little longer since we accidentally turned up during the Biennale! The city is very tiny and easy to get around on foot or by vaporetto.
splish splash
[pen] We just moved (see MCiOS for details) and I am pleased to report it has a good bath - but I'm sure it's easier to get your bath fix by going to the UK than visiting us :-) .
Wet feet
[Flerdle] Thanks for the offer. My nearest alternative is only 20 miles away, so I'm afraid your offer of hot water comes some way down the list at present. Who's to say wherther or not things will change?
[CdM] When my mum and I 'did' Venice, we stayed in Treviso - a pleasant enough town a couple of stops up the railway line, and travelled in to Venice by train (it's a spectacular approach across the water - and stepping out of the 1940s railway station into 16th century venice took our breath away). This gave us the advantage of not having to pay Venice prices for hotels, nor for dinner (if we chose not to). I'd echo Flerdle's advice - read the 'traveller reviews' on TripAdvisor or Expedia.
just 7 days...
So much has changed since last friday, not least of which is the weather in the UK, accompanied by about 3 inches of grass growth in my back garden. Also, it looks likely that I shall be taking on the rental of a house "down south" (roughly here) in about 2 weeks. Subject to rustling up a load of money ...
Sarf of the M4
[Phil] It's bloody lovely round there. I worked near Ramsbury for a while, and at Hopgrass Farm on the A4 just outside Hungerford for a bit too. (Used to be owned by Johnny Morris, apparently, and I didn't know at the time, but my dad was friends with his son at Art School in the late 50s-early 60s and stayed with the Morrises at Lambourn. JM also used to own The Pelican, the pub at Froxfield on the A4 (my favourite road ever). The windy miller & I stayed there a couple of years ago. They didn't seem too bothered by the rain coming through the roof.) Anyway - good luck with the move. I hope you like it down there as much as I did.
(Phil, pen) If you go shopping in Hungerford go in the morning because it's murder in the afternoon.
That's awful, Rosie. Literally. I was working in the Savernake Forest that day.
It is amazing how the word "Hungerford" is etched into our minds. We found it hard to consider any houses that were up for rent there, simply because it would remind us of that every single day. turns out that the house we're going for is technically in Little Hungerford, but that was subsumed into Hermitage as house-building filled in the gaps between villages.
Port Arthur was creepy enough already, and then...
How horrible.
I had not heard of that, probably because ten days earlier was Hoddle Street, which is just a short drive from here. He wiles away his time in prison working out ways to continue his career as a vexatious litigant, thereby popping up in the vews often enough to keep the wound from fully healing. Parole in 2014? Somehow I think not.
Vhat would be news, vbviously.
(Chalky) You strike me as an unlikely lumberjack. The admittedly awful joke was very current at the time, as these things are.
I cycled 100 miles yesterday. Wall-clock time 8h32, time in motion (what my bike computer records) 6h58m54. Free beer at the end, then collapsed in a heap.
(Raak) V good. How many times round the cathedral was that?
MmmmmMMMmmMMmmmMmmmmm.....free beer :-) Well done, sir!
[Rosie] Just once, via the north Norfolk coast. It's surprising how many hills there are in England's flat bits.
[Raak] The merest mention of N Norfolk always makes me think of Hunstanton and twitch inwardly - the most confusing and disturbing place I've ever been to.
[Raak] Well done! So you'll be out here for Around the Bay, then?
[Phil] Knowing "Sunny Hunny" well, I can see why you think it disturbing, but why confusing? [Raak] Well done! I am exhausted just thinking about it.
I've just discovered they had photo points set up, taking pictures of everyone. [flerdle] There's a small matter of a 10,000 mile ride to get there.
[Boolbar] I tend to know more or less which direction I am facing, which my family discovered recently when I stopped in mid-conversation, looked around the room and said "Sorry, I just couldn't work out which way was south for a moment". Hunstanton threw me, as I wasn't concentrating, but knew I was in Norfolk for two days. Therefore I got a bit startle by seeing the sun setting over the sea as I looked out from the shore. It took me a while to get my head round it, but it continued to freak me out for the rest of the day. And still does, to be honest.
East Is East
[Phil] Oh I see. Hunstanton drives you around the bend. :)
that'd be good training, then...
[Raak] If you start soon, you'd easily get here in time for next year's :-)
Peering in
Just received an email from the hosting people. My interpretation of their breathless gobbledygook is that you may discern slightly slower page loading than normal. Can't say I've noticed.
I saw a Google Car today, with the giant golfball of cameras pointing in all directions mounted on top. It drove right into the private parking area behind my house, and out again. So I might at some point see myself on Google Street View. I wonder how slickly automated their process is. Is the Car continuously uploading everything, which is then processed into Street View images in seconds?
Just had a look on Google Maps, and their current picture of the scene is from 2008. So, four years to revisit a tiny private entrance in a suburb of a small town. There must be some interesting estimate to be made from that of how many miles of road there are in the world, or how many Google Cars there are.
For the record, I really like Hunstanton - site of many a good family holiday!
Hunstanton hinders chat
[UK] that really did it, didn't it? More than a week with nowt to say. For the record, I really like Mablethorpe. Sunny here in Rotterdam today, but cool. Or cold.
Norfolk enchants
[pen] I know! What happened there?! Never been to Mablethorpe myself. If we're tipping the nod to UK holiday resorts, I'm going to endorse Barmouth, and see how long this kills the conversation for!
Dorset does it
Rather partial to a long weekend in Lyme Regis myself.
Just come back from a long weekend in Pembrokeshire. I'd put a few votes in for St David's/Whitesands.
Europie (pronounced YORRuhpee) beach on the Isle of Lewis gets a big vote from me - in fact, pretty much any beach on the Outer Hebrides.
Barmouth/Y Bermo
(Uncle K) Got sunburnt there as a small boy on holiday in 1947, so I was told but can't actually remember.
[Phil] I spent a week on Lewis/Harris one June. Glorious white sand beaches with not a soul in sight for miles and a temperature of about 10.
Gecko surprise
Yesterday, Sunday, my wife and I involved ourselves in a clean up of our garage and workshop. This sudden activity was a result of the local council announcing a 'collection' day, which involves the collection of all and any junk which won't fit into the normal bin - at no charge. It also brings out the scavengers among our population (the first five or six articles we took up to the road were gone within five minutes.)
That's the background. One of the later jobs was to move a dilapidated old cupboard/drawer combination from the workshop. My wife did the initial moving of the thing - it was surprisingly heavy for its size - from its position against the brick wall against which it stood. Me, being the lazy sod that I am, was 'having a rest' and a restorative dose of wine. She popped up into my quiet place and informed me that behind the cupboard was living a gecko. Naturally I did the reverse pop and ambled down the stairs to have a dekko. She was right but at the same time wrong. There were three leaf-tailed geckos clinging grimly to the brickwork. Supposedly these wee attractive reptiles are common in this neck of the woods but because of their superb camouflage are rarely noticed. The interesting part of this rather long post is that they were of three different colours. One was grey, one was a mid to dark green and the last a very dark chocolate colour. The latter could have been a very dark green; I'm sure that I'm a bit colour blind in the green/brown range when it comes to the darker shades, particularly in poor light.
I have done a bit of a search on the 'Net but cannot find anything that might indicate that geckos are like chameleons - in the sense of adapting their colouring to the background. Is there a herpetologist in the house?
Prochain station, Château d'Eau!
Here's the thing. Mlle nights and I were watching television a few nights ago, when she turned to me and said "You know, it's the oddest thing. When I was in Paris last week, there were a load of British people on the métro."

"Of course there were, dear, there's British people everywhere."

"Yes, but it was at Château d'Eau, they all seemed quite over excited, and there's nothing remotely interesting there. Do you think it had anything to do with that silly game you play with the Tube?"

And so, I'm back. How is everyone?
Those long, lonely nights
[nights] Good to see you! I am led to wonder: has anyone really gone on a Château d'Eau Pilg? And what do everyone else's significant others think/know of MCing?
Water Castles
I'll admit to getting off the rame at Château d'Eau and then getting on the next one, just in order to say I'd been there.
Mrs INJ just seems to go along with MCing with a 'well, it means he doesn't go out drinking or womanising'* resignation. However, when driving in France we do mark the water towers on a 0-4 stars scale.
*This is almost always true
Another silent week in MC5-land. What-ho, chaps!
No News = Good news?
Well, the weather is iffy but at least Murray is grinding on at Wimbledon. Is that worth mentioning?
Oh, I say, what a volleh!
(Softers) I suppose so but I prefer to watch the ladies. All that grumble and grunt.
G + G
You can get grunt from engines. And I am willing to grumble for a very small fee, without the bother of travelling to Wimbledon. BTW, My mum has gone to watch the tennis today. C'mon Tim! (oblig.)
Where does all the ruddy dust come from? is a depressing and never-ending task to keep shifting it from places where I don't want it to places where I don't care about it.
so soggy
We had a full sunny day here today. It's almost a shock to the system.
(pen) Where indeed? The answer, I fear is mostly our own bodies. And the Sahara.
(flerdle) Didn't know you were over here. :-)
*announces cake break*
Gelukkige Verjaardag Penelopij!
HBTY HBTY HBDP HBTY
Today is also Teddy Bears' Picnic Day. So two reasons to celebrate!
wringing out the teddy bears
[All] Cheers. I've got a massive craving for cake this week... huge wodges of it (and seconds), mostly chocolate, but the occasional coffee and walnut. I made scones last night (on my birthday) as it was all I had time for (and there was new jam), but I think the baking of a full-blown coffee and walnut cake is called for this weekend. Not sure if I have any cake tins anymore - I remember one lot went rusty and had to be binned, and I can't remember if I bought any more.
late as usual
[pen] Happy Yesterday!
proost!
Een beetje laat.
The cake is a lie.
real cake
It's reality here, Phil. This wet weekend has been officially declared the penelope cake festival extension. I've found my cake tins (thankfully not yet rusty) and will be turning the mixer all the way up to 11.
*originally typed 'cake tines' and wondered if there was a Freudian reason behind my thoughts of the large amount of cake that you'd need a tractor to shift.*
alter-ego
I've just been spooked to see someone using my real name to play a move in the limericks game - and had to check the time stamp to make sure it wasn't me. (It wasn't, unless I was sleep-surfing last night)
Are you sure?
[Pen] When I saw the name on the front screen I assumed it was you in a (very) late night unguarded moment.
(pen) You would never use such clunking scansion. Would you? Not all God's children got rhythm.
me again, given the lack of activity here
Can I have another go at the sodding O'Limp-dicks, or at least the media coverage thereof? Well, I'm going to any way. The first five pages of the Grauniad, supposedly a thinking person's paper, were devoted to the activities of a load over-muscled herberts and herbertines doing stupid boring things. The entirety of BBC1 output is devoted to this nonsense and the drains have overflowed into BBC2 to the extent that University Challenge, an antidote to this brain-numbing bollocks, seems to have been suspended, to be replaced by the displaced EastEnders, an everyday story of thickos buggering up their lives, and which seems to amuse the dimwits. Will we win any medals, gold, silver, bronze, cast iron, medium manganese steel, cupro-nickel, duralumin, bakelite, neoprene, mahogany? Please Do Not Ask This Question As A Hailstorm Of Profanity Often Gives Offence.
[Rosie] I'm one of the people that's delighted to have something worth watching on TV for a change. I'm also starting to enjoy sports I've not really watched before (basketball, volleyball etc) and am rather proud of the improvements the British contestants (I refuse to use the ghastly "Team GB" tag) have made, men's gymnastics being a prime example. I find most sport lacks any thrill these days, but I always really enjoy the Olympics.
I'd compete for a bakelite medal. In ambling, perhaps.
(Phil) But for the media overkill I, like most people I know, would be simply indifferent to the whole thing and just ignore it. But the entire front and subsequent eight pages of the Grauniad, of all papers, plus the Olympic supplement, are devoted to these activities. They are about to receive an abusive email and I imagine it won't be the only one, not by a long chalk. They won't print it, but they'll know what I think.
[Rosie] Ah, I avoid all that kind of annoyance by never buying a newspaper. The radio, the internet, and my lovely internet friends keep me pretty well informed. The last of those providing the most balanced view, especially when averaged out (my Facebook friends range from Radical Stalinist to White Van Man).
The above is untrue
I apologise for my over-generalisation. I do buy local newspapers when I'm on holiday, especially in France.
(Phil) I don't get a newspaper for news but more for views and opinions and to get ideas from. News, I find, is best from Radio 4. I might just about persuade myself to switch on the telly if there are things like floods or other mayhem.
Anyone else feel that the Film Club game may have run its course?
[UK] Fine with me to kill it.
Film Club
And me, for what it's worth, being no good at it.
Wow!
I've been enjoying the Olympics hugely (helped by the fact that I'm between assignments and so have more time). So I would like to record that I feel privileged to have watched arguably the greatest race in the history of athletics. The mens 800m had not only a world record, but also every athlete in the race recorded the fastest ever time for someone finishing in that position in a race. Quite astonishing. Move over Mr Bolt.
And also
In addition, every athlete recorded either a world record, a national record or a personal best.
Film Club
As much as I love Film Club, it has tailed off, and I think we've used virtually every available category over the past few years.

Could we perhaps replace it with a variant...? How about a round of Benefit Gigs, where we select an appropriate topic, and have to suggest the bands / artistes on the line-up?
...tumbleweed...
Well, this has obviously been another of my infamous conversation-killers! Alternatively, I don't recall seeing a game anywhere where players could showcase whole limericks - any interest in that?
(UK) Not a bad idea. Any subject. Discreet filth allowed. Off you go!
[Rosie] Thanks! At least one supported for Limerick Showcase - anyone care to kill Film Club? (Any last objections, speak now!)
I say kill the film club. But then I don't think I have voting rights any more, as I do tend to forget to pop by.

This time due to moving house - the last flat leaked, from the roof and the bathroom wall. I am fairly handy, as blokes go, but that was beyond my capabilities.

In other news, how's the weather? Strasbourg is melting. Literally melting. Every summer this happens, we get a huge heatwave and everyone panics. IBut I can't hear them from inside this fridge.
Alsatian quasi-megathermality
(nights) Strasbourg therefore consists of what we chemists call a "low-melting solid". May I be a little less than gobsmacked by your 32°C with low-moderate humidity given that it's been nearly 30°C here in the grounds of Plas Huws?
[Rosie] Oh very well. It just seems hotter because of people's reaction to news of the heatwave. I got text messages saying "Best of luck!" Luck with what? I don't understand.
Another sweaty one here today with some rather feeble apologetic thunder. I see Strasbourg is even hotter and more humid than yesterday. Er, bonne chance.
Lived up to expectations, certainly. But fortunately my client had the air con on. The good news is, it's finally raining! Hooray!
luckily we have our feet in the water here in NL
It was 34.5C on Saturday afternoon here in Zuid Holland; only 32C on Sunday afternoon, and a positively chilly 27C yesterday. No significant rain yet, dammit. We swam in the river on Sunday morning - it was the nicest open-water swim I've ever had.
boing
The first tentative whiffs of spring here today, and a very pleasant change it has been. After 7-10 years of drought, this has been a return to the olden-days of very wet winters. Do not like those. But today was lovely, at least the bits that I ventured outside in.

Mind you it will probably be washed away in more downpours next week, if the gales don't do the job first. *glum*

Differences
[flerdle] Perhaps at your place it's been a normal wet winter. My own castle has found a normal dry winter, although June and July were reasonably damp (75 & 15 mm respectively). So far August has produced not a drip nor a drop of precipitation - our last rain was on 24 July (1.8mm.) Even with the winds we have had the late wattles are flowering nicely making wonderful yellow splotches along the street scape. Spring is just around the corner . . . hurrah!
So what was the last good meal you had at a restaurant?
I'll have the...
A couple of weeks ago, on a very hot Friday evening when the back of the house (and therefore the kitchen) was too hot to be able to do any cooking, the windy miller and I went out to our favourite local restaurant, the Drie Linden. I had a bloody lovely chunk of grilled cod fillet in a mustard sauce. We sat outside on the back terrace, looking north over the fields of our island, Hoeksche Waard. There were half a dozen hares jumping around in the adjacent field, a kids' end-of-summer camp bonfire in the middle distance, and the flaming stacks and chimneys of the Shell Pernis Refinery at Europoort in the far distance. We're going there again tonight, because it's our first wedding anniversary today :oD
This evening, I will be mostly eating...
Last night I had the trout. It was even better than the cod, although I wish the chef had seasoned and buttered the inside of the fish - the part I was going to eat - rather than the skin, which is the part that I didn't eat.
A reasonable creme brulee afterwards - but unremarkable. And a good cup of coffee. The windy miller and I are going to look at a house for sale three doors away from this restaurant. If we buy it, we won't be able to afford to go and eat there any more.
Happy anniversary then, penelope!
[pen] Seconding what nights said, in memory of the passing of the old dating updates posted to the Morniverse =)
Ta v much
I've only just beginning to realise what I have missed out on during my singleton's life. We're going to a 45th anniversary party of some friends on Sunday - if the windy miller and I get to that anniverary, we'll be in our mid-90s.
Couples
[pen] You are forgetting that there is always the spectre of divorce. That can make a big dent in your finances, wreck your social circle, raid your pension and alienate some or all of your children and it may not be your fault. It is always nice to see couples that have made it, though.
spectres?
I don't believe in ghosts. Besides, our social circles are in two different countries, our finances are divisible, our pensions are separate, we don't have kids. And we don't intend to.
Choices
[pen] you have it covered, then. Nevertheless, separate finance and pensions are not immune from vindictive ex-wives (or husbands for that matter) when it gets to court.
T'weather
Bit chillier here today. Supposed to get warmer for the weekend, so that's OK
whither t'weather?
I saw that England had got noticeably cooler over the past couple of days. Temperatures are still holding up on this side of the Narrow Sea. 13C this morning, blustery, showers expected. Must.... buy... thermals....
Plans for t'weekend?
Daughter has first practice with new church choir tonight. Royal Berkshire County Show tomorrow :-)
between friday and monday, showers predicted, predictably.
I will scorekeep at a roller derby bout. The rest of the time I will be ill. *koff, gasp*

I am so sick of the rain here. Just go away.

Friday to Monday
I will sleep, do laundry, and cook a free-range French chicken that is taking up too much space in the freezer.
weekend
I will head down the allotment and see if I can dig over and compost another vegetable bed or two ready for the winter planting. And, weather permitting, cut the grass.
that reminds me
I might try planting some late purple sprouting broccoli. I've been told I may get a small crop in March if I do it now - and they won't be prone to the caterpillars that ate the whole bloody lot that I planted in June.
work tomorrow :(
I am very glad it was a drier weekend than I thought it would be. I managed to plant out some of the seedlings, now that it is warmer and the sun is actually getting to the vege patch (small back yard, high fences). The challenge will be keeping the slugs and snails at bay, I think, and stopping the blackbirds from ploughing up the entire bed.
Yorkshiremen
You're lucky. Last May, we scarified the lawn, hollow-tined it, fertilised it and overseeded it. Then we went for a three week holiday, expecting to find the grass knee deep when we got back. It didn't rain. We returned to find bare earth and a bevy of portly pigeons.
There's Something About West Berkshire
Is anyone else in England feeling like they're heading back towards drought? I think it's only rained twice in the last 3 weeks, since I fed my lawn. I'll probably get the sprinkler out tomorrow, it's getting so bad.
There's also something about north-east Surrey
(Phil) Only 4.7 mm rain this month (average 66). Good - don't have to cut the grass so often. I do nothing to encourage the growth of anything in my garden whatsoever. The only things I apply are shears, secateurs and ripsaws, having a hedge and a number of bushes. The idea of watering the grass is to me as absurd as leaving stuff out for the dear foxes. 2003 was a good summer, hot and dry and everything went straw-like with great cracks in the "lawn". Boo to gardening! My garden is actually quite tidy, believe it or not.
Labouring the point
No danger of drought after the wettest summer for ages. There was a "hosepipe" ban here until the middle of April. What is a hosepipe? Some people got ever so upset but what do they expect if they leave water out to dry on the grass.
[Rosie] I'm not so keen on the rest of the gardening malarkey, but I do like my stripy lawn, cut with a 50 year old mower.
Mom's memorial service
Went out and did stuff with friends today after mom's memorial service...she had died on the 15th...
[Giertrud] I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. Keep doing the stuff with friends. And keep coming here.
ty penelope
(Giertrude) As pen says, keep and value your friends but on the other hand don't pretend nothing has changed. You may find yourself more at home with one or two new people. My mother was widowed for 27 years and had to find a few new activities and friends which she did successfully. We can all do it and I wish you all strength.
to Giertrud
Sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. It is surprising how much we do either for, or because of, or by reference to our mothers and the loss of that key reference point throws our lives off balance for a while. You will recover that equilibrium over time. Until then, focus on what is necessary for you and for those you love, take comfort from the familiar (Glow-worms!) and try not to dwell on the loss.
10 days with no conversation! Time to break the ice.
Is it that cold where you are, Phil?
I feel like a sonnet
We haven't had a general poetry game for a while. At the moment there's just Wretchedly Difficult Poetry and Slightly Less Wretchedly Difficult Poetry, both at Orange, taking about a year per poem. Shall I compare us to a plate of eels?
[Software] It was, until this evening when we got our central heating fixed - oh frabjous day!
fish's off, dear
[Raak] Better that than a surfeit of lampreys.
You look like a sonnet
[Raak] Aren't Glo-worms and Limericks enough for you?
[Kim] Ok, but apart from the glow-worms and limericks...and haiku...
We could come up with a poetry form that combines all three ... the glimmeraiku ...
haikimerworm
[Jim] Now you're being ridiculous.
can't keep me away
[Cross-post] There is a somewhat late notice proposal for pilg-type goodness up at Orange, do drop in and say hello.
I have combined the glow-worm and haiku
The last three lines of this verse
Form a nice haiku
By using five-seven-five
As they always do

Also, it's instructional... :]
Season of . . .
Fog, actually. A rather warm and very wet one for the last 24 hours or so. Not terribly thick; I can see about 250 yd. It's low cloud, because places like Heathrow and Gatwick have only got a bit of mist. The air above the fog is even warmer and if it were to clear the temperature would shoot up to over 20°C in no time. It may happen tomorrow.
Fog
It didn't. It was just more fog, not terribly thick but we've now had 52 hours of it and everything is dripping. Previously invisible cobwebs are everywhere. Down at the pub, being 400 ft lower, they wonder what I'm on about. They always wonder what I'm on about.
Webs
I've noticed all the cobwebs as well. Usually I notice them when they wrap around my face and a spider clings to my nose. Now I can duck. Speaking of spiders, they have released these nearby.
Clouds of spiders
[Rosie] Still got your head in the clouds? At your age? Really! ;)
[Boolbar] That's a lovely photograph of surface tension at work. I wonder what the author of the article meant by "8cm long". Usually I describe spider size by the distance across the legs with a further comment about the paps to tip of the abdomen dimension if appropriate. Have you come across one yet?
Apparently there are about 1014 spiders on the earth which is about 20,000 for each and every one of us. That's quite a few decent meals. Well, meals.
[Dujon] Other sources suggest it is 8cm leg span. I haven't measured but I'm sure we get the odd house spider around that size.
[Rosie] 1014. Now that's what I call a world wide web!
[Boolbar] *groan*
Microthermality
Saturday was the coldest October day in 30 years' recording in the grounds of Plas Rhosi. Max temperature 6.0°C with a nice fresh northerly wind and showers. Delightful. Tonight the wind has died down and there's a brilliant night sky and frost. The grass, over the squelchy mud underneath, has that "crisper whisper" as you walk on it. Screen temperature -1.3°C.
Spring forward, fall back
How virtuous I felt this morning, getting up by BST, while gentlemen in England still abed took putting back the clocks as an excuse to stay in bed an hour longer, instead of an opportunity to fill an extra unforgiving hour with sixty minutes worth of noodling on the Internet.
[Rosie] It was certainly parky up on the Ridgeway at 8am. Car's thermometer said zero, but the wind in our faces certainly made it feel much colder. The visibility reminded me of Switzerland though - could see all the way to the horizon :-)
Ridgeway? That's something the cloggies can only dream of
Here, even the motorway run-up to a big bridge slows 'em down. Dutch drivers have no idea what to do in order to climb a hill without causing a traffic jam.
(pen) Are there any words in Dutch for a hill, mountain, slope etc? Probably about one-tenth of the number in Welsh.
Hilly
I parked nose-in on my little parking pull-in last night, which is on something like a 12% slope, leaving the front of the car rather higher than the rear. I had to free-wheel back out and get on the level before the engine would start. Not doing that again with a low petrol tank.
it's all the same to them
[Rosie] Heuvel for hill, helling for slope, and berg for mountain. No mention of bluffs, cliffs, butte, downs. (Although duine for dune). My knowledge of Dutch is not encyclopaedic, but they very rarely get mentioned. Here, the kids go toboganning down the edges of the dijks (they don't all end in water - some have fields/houses/roads on both sides); maximum run = about 15 metres max.
(pen) Houses on both sides? I thought the purpose of a dyke/dijk was to hold back water in emergency so isn't that a bit like building houses on the beach? Have I got his right? As to hilly words, I imagine Afrikaans must have a few because South Africa is pretty steep at the edges.
(Phil) Must have been very low. But how did you get up there in the first place?
[Rosie] It's just a little pull-in, about 50% longer than my car, but is rather a steep slope up to the garage (which I don't use...for the car). I think that's only about the 5th time I've gone in nose first in the 5 months I've been parking there. It might have been coincidence that the engine wouldn't fire until I was on the level, as the tank still has enough about 3 gallons in (approx)
Anyone in London on saturday?
*Cross-post alert*
Just a nudge that there is a get-together this Saturday afternoon in London. Details on the Pilgrim page at Orange
sacrificial houses
[Rosie] There's a concept of sacrificial land - the water is going to come up 'so far' but no further. I think the same is thought of some of the houses. Besides, the flood would only reach the bottom half of your house where the washing machine, bikes and canoes are kept. The living room and kitchen are usually at the same level as the road running along the top of the dyke.
The Cruel Sea
(pen) Ah! The Dutch must be a stoic lot. I'm happy on my hill but ironically a few million years ago it was a beach, which accounts for the deposits of rounded pebbles a couple of miles away, the so-called Blackheath Beds.
back at my desk
There's thick and dull fog obscuring the whole of Rotterdam from my 6th floor office window this morning. Yet as I drove off the ferry which arrived in Rotterdam from Blighty this morning, I was almost blinded by the sun shining into the off-ramp. Oh well. Never mind. The eggs, sausage and bacon on board this morning was very nice.
coincidental food
No fog here, but I do have egg, sausage and bacon on some bread, which I find tastier than a board.
Calling a plate a plate by any other name would taste as tasty
Funnily enough, 'plate' in Dutch is 'bord'.
egging on
Oh come on everyone... don't make the whole front page look like it's 'me, me, me'. Say something!
something (oblig.)
semi thong (anag.)
sunnink, quelquechose, rhywbeth. sorry no Dutch.
Summink in Dutch
iets
qqch in french textspeak.
I made a collection of Christmassy snowglobes over the last week of evenings. But they're virtual ones in an online world, so probably none of you can see them.
No snow
[Raak] I don't believe you.

Snow falls endlessly
On the night before Christmas
In the toy village.

In the snowy fort
No soldiers patrol the walls
Are they all on leave?

Snow on online pines
If no-one logs in to see
Did the snowflake fall?
Haikusnowsterisers
[Raak] They are lovely. Did you get much appreciation for them - virtual or otherwise - in your online world?
[pen] They went down quite well when I presented them at a Show & Tell event last Sunday. There's a couple of these every week in SL, where builders show off the new things they've built.

Presents! All for me?
Take as many as you like
They're copiable.
stunned into silence
I had no idea that sort of stuff went on. Anyway... Any other news from anyone? Or do I have to tell you about my weekend again?
nothing in particular
This year I will not be making plum jam - thank goodness. Moving to a new (old) house has meant there are no fruit trees, other than the ubiquitous lemon, but the vege plot is much better here, even if it is tiny, about 1.5m x 2m. The soil probably has some deficiencies, but without time to check, I simply dug it over, planted a bunch of things and hoped for the best. During winter it gets almost no sun, but the late spring and summer are very good, at least so far. Anyway, I am growing a strawberry (one tiny plant), zucchinis, black cherry tomatoes, three types of beans, chives, spring onions, basil, and capsicum, which is the smallest at the moment, but still looks hopeful. Because it got hot quickly the pak choy and kailaan broccoli didn't survive (they bolted and were eaten by bugs), sadly, but everything else is going completely bonkers. The basil doubled in size overnight and leaving a zucchini overnight before picking meant it was suddenly half a kilo.
oh, I forgot the stuff that was growing there beforehand. There is a lavender bush which sort of hangs over the side of the garden, and a geranium which I'd prefer to pull out since it tends to overshadow the chives and things down one end, but it adds pretty colour in winter so I'm just keeping it trimmed for the time being. And there is mint around some edges and behind the lemon tree, and parsley growing wild in a patch to one side. Oh, and the silverbeet, of course, which came up by itself. That should probably be classified as a weed, but it makes very good "spinach" and cheese pie. Next season I will probably remove that particular plant and replace it with some coloured varieties.
plub jab
[flerdle] another new garden? Gosh. How splendid - ours is as barren as barren can be right now. We're just heading into the really cold season, with frost every night and snowy mornings every now and again. And I'm thinking about what can be easily uprooted and moved as we're seriously house-hunting in January. The only thing I'm bothered about are my roses, my hazel (grown from a nut found in a French hedgerow while picnicking in Normandy), my raspberries...
Plants that get away.
Flerdle, watch that mint! Some varieties (don't ask me which) can escape the confines of an in-ground plot and run rampant around the whole garden. Experience informs me that, should that happen, it's one heck of a task to get rid of it from the areas in which it is not welcome; a bit like some bamboo and cannas.
Fight!
What Dujon said. I am still waiting to see who will win out of the rampaging mint and the roving bamboo.
plotting in the plot
[Dujon] Oh, I'm definitely aware of the potential invasiveness of mint! It was all overr the place here, but now that it has been removed from the vege plot and banished to the bits we don't care about -- behind the lemon tree, over in the corner, and next to some of the border rocks-- it is actually looking a lot happier and healthier, and it's not regrown in the bits we do care about (unlike the grass, which is much more tenacious). frogstar likes to use mint for tea. I think the stuff is vile.

Bamboo, Annerley(Brisbane), circa 1995. The horror.

Containing the menace.
Oh, I like mint, flerdle, although I can't remember ever having mint tea. In the days prior to the realisation that it had designs for the taking over of Maison Dujon - well, its garden - I used to occasionally pluck a leaf and roll it between my hands. Lovely. No more though as there is no mint in the 'new' place. Should we decide to again grow some it will be confined to some sort of box arrangement with no opportunity to hit the ground running.
Am late for you, but not here.
Merry Christmas!
Happy Humbug!
[Giertrud] It wasn't late for me. Where is home for you? I have this vague sense it is in the South...
Festive perineum
Hello. Apols for radio silence. With the little 'un I don't get much time for frivolities, or MC, these days. Had a good Christmas and am now stuck in Southampton airport toilet. Best wishes for the new year.
Calories: 500,000. Windmills: 1
Happy belated Christmas all. One English windmill visited today. Drank tea out of bone china and ate cake. Came away with three kinds of flour, a whole cheese and a jar of jam. We are rich indeed.
Happy new year everyone.
HNY
Happy New Year all.
(UK, pen) Could be, when it finally gets going.
up and at 'em
[Rosie] this is the first work morning of the year. I was up before 7, it's still ruddy dark, and after two and a half weeks off, it is taking a bit of effort! Any road, the year is underway. HNY.
Hangover holiday
North of the border we get today as a holiday too as a means to recover from Hogmanay. Personally I'm glad New Year's Day is over - I always have a really heavy-duty Sunday afternoon back-to-school feeling on 1st jan.
I'm back at work today. Not quite sure what to do.
Ditto
What am I doing here?
Mind the 150-year gap!
[Cross-posted] Next week, 9th January is a rather important date. Any plans?
one more time
Blow. That should have included a link. Sorry this is in its raw form: http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/25979. aspx
I have just tried describing MC and the Morniverse to my new Dutch/American colleague. She needed to rush out to make tea before I had finished..
Our awful little secret
(pen) I even have trouble explaining it to blokes down the pub, some of whom are highly hedjumacated. I'd say you were very brave.
melting
38°C at 9pm here. Toasty.
first proper hot day, 41.1C at 6:17pm
... and 34.5 at 12:15am. It is dry heat, as usual, so not particularly uncomfortable with a fan. And I have an ice pack on my foot after tripping over the base of some mobile street/shop signage this afternoon too. Ow.
The heat of battle
[flerdle] You have my sympathy. Overnight temperatures like that are terribly enervating. Even here we are facing a few days of 'orrible 'eat. Fortunately we have an air conditioner installed; damn the cost of running it, I'll face that consequence later. As I type it's day time and just turning to 32ºC. Given the forecast I fear for my sanity and worry significantly about arsonists.
Sweat, y'buggas
(Dujon) What you need is this. Somewhat easier are the conditions at Hughes Hall; thin fog (just below cloud base), 6.5°C. Not bad for January. It's never failed to go below 20°C at night here. I noticed Melbourne had a quite dramatic change yesterday but there seems no immediate relief in your area.
If only I could fly
[Rosie] Fortunately I live to the east of the Great Dividing Range. Even so it's often seven or eight degrees warmer here than it is in Sydney itself (taking the BoM site at the airport as a reference). Yesterday produced some high readings in the west but, as flerdle mentioned, it is more often than not a 'dry' heat in those areas.
I have not listened to the news this morning but yesterday Tasmania and Victoria were suffering terribly from bushfires. Given my location I am, so far, happy that apart from re-packing our photographs and important papers into a suitcase for easy evacuation there has been no immediate threat.
[flerdle] Where are you, you world flitting butterfly?
[Dujon] Back in Melbourne. The cool change that Rosie mentioned came through here noticeably at about 2-2:30am Saturday, and yesterday was lovely. Today is pleasant too. Tomorrow should be up to 38, then down again to the low 20s. Then up again... This is very normal here, but it plays havoc with my sinuses.
I surmised such was the case, flerdle, but knowing you you could have been just about anywhere it was hot. Fortunately we've been spared extreme temperatures here (I saw that somewhere in the state managed 46ºC the other day. Phew!). Our friendly BoM though is promising 43º tomorrow (Tuesday). We'll see.
Winds from the desert and the Antarctic
[Rosie] Dramatic changes are quite common in Melbourne. In mid-December I was out at 5pm and the temperature was about 34, iirc. As I walked home I noticed a distinctly chilly wind; by 5:45 the temperature was 22. (flerdle may remember the temperatures more accurately than I do!)
an hour pleasantly spent
I spent longer than I had intended reading the Pea and Honey Recipes game last night - right from the beginning. From it, I can trace (in my case) two job moves and two house moves, a new relationship and a marriage. And it's bloody good quality. Some of it is even excellent. *rejoins game with renewed vigour*
Hot
(Duj, flerdle, CdM) The heatwave is noteworthy enough to have a summary here. It's not a heatwave, of course; it's a heatwave event.
Preparing for the next 'event'
Ah, the dear old BoM. I am not denigrating the organisation, in fact if I could give it some sort of collective hug for the information it supplies so freely I would. Whilst the data included in your link are interesting I found the text a little 'non-BoM' style. By the way, Chez Dujon recorded a pretty normal summer temperature of but 37.9ºC yesterday, although some of the more coastal (offical) sites reported around and about the 43º forecast.
Offical is not a new word.
*sighs and blames the heat*
One's extremities
(Duj) I think OZBOM is pretty good, one of the best national services.
37.9°C normal? Hmm, I'd guess your mean max in January is just below 30°C. I shall retaliate with a -9.2°C max on 12 Jan 1987. Sunny all day; it was weird.
Your 30ºC is probably a pretty good estimate. The 37.9ºC I experienced yesterday is, nevertheless, not some sort of extraordinary event - after all it's only just over the old 'ton', a not unexpected event here. Your minus readings you can, like many in North America, Siberia and such high latitude places, keep to yourself.
[To the rest of you] Sorry about the weather stuff.
Look away NOW
(Dujon) Your 37.9 is about the same as me getting 30; it happens about once a year. The UK record is 38.1 (10 Aug 2003) and the RosieRecord a paltry 35.9, same day.
The minus 9.2 was what statisticians may well call a "different population". I've had a number between -5 and -6 but this was lower than I'd thought I'd ever see here.
You wouldn't like this place.
Boy scouts
No more than I'd take a holiday here, Rosie. ;)
Anyway, some time this afternoon or, more probably tomorrow's morn, I shall have to climb yet again on to my roof and clear off all the leaf litter and branches that have been deposited there since the last time I undertook the task. It seems that we are due for another blast of hot and dry air in a couple or three days so to fail to do so could well be construed by some to be a form of criminal negligence.
(Duj) You won't be having a bonfire, then. I shouldn't.
Vostok leaves me speechless even as a weather nut. But Jakutsk is a sizeable city and quite a nice one. The current fog has lasted about 10 days, the temperature falling slowly all the time. The city causes the fog.
New Year New Games
Can we resolve to kill games off with greater assiduity this year? I think higher turnover would be a good thing.
Indeed. * rushes off with a gleeful glint in her eye.*
Sun rises. Sun sets.
Tuesday already? How did that happen.
Bloody freezing
Fog all day at Plas Huws and a max temp of -1°C. An odd phenomenon and the reverse of what is usually seen is that the hoar frost (possibly rime) deposit is confined to the tops of hedges and bushes and there's none on the grass or on my car. I put this down to heat from the ground. Nothing else would seem to explain it.
(Jakutsk update) They still have fog, as they have had since before the New Year. The temperature is about -46°C and goes up and down a degree or two independently of time of day but more in response (probably) to the presence or absence of high cloud, which you can't see anyway ("sky obscured"). The sun does its best but at this time of year 4 degrees from the Arctic Circle it may as well not bother. No wind to speak of; they're probably breathing the same shitty air they were at Christmas.
Out in the sticks here in Berkshire, I don't think we got above -2C, and didn't witness any of the sunny spells suggested by the BBC's local weather site; just a mid-grey blanket of cloud all day.
-9C driving through patches of fog just before sunrise this morning, brilliant sunshine all day but below freezing because the consistency of snow on the ground is unchanged (although I was indoors all day) and now -8.5C through patchy fog all the way home. A clear view of the newish moon above. Lekker weer. (and a reasonably enjoyable Dutch lesson this evening - bonus!)
That's Rotterdam and the countryside to the south of the city, for dem dat don't know.
Weather report
40.7 at 17:30
In pounds, shilling, and pence
that's over 105
The trees have seen a ghost
-12C this morn, and my car tried to overheat when stuck in a queue.
(Boolbar) They all do. I'm no fan of radiators.
Striking off at a tangent. My daughter would like to know why household radiators are so called, when they should really be "convectors" ?
The Loughborough mega-event
Mrs INJ was woken up by our local earthquake (a whole 2.9 on the Richter scale). I slept through it.
Earthquake
My god, the weight of snow blanketing the country must now be so thick it's beginning to distort the Earth's very crust!
Appreciably less effort has gone into clearing roads of snow in the midlands compared to previous years. I blame the bankers.
Three things I am grateful for, in the snowy conditions.
  1. I only live 5 miles from work, along gritted roads
  2. West Berks council are well-funded and efficient
  3. 5 or 6 young men that were pushing every car out of the village I work in on Friday morning, when the MD decreed we could go home. They were cheerfully jogging down the hill, pushing a car up it until they got some grip near the top, waving them on their way, and jogging back down again. I'd buy them a pint if I knew who they were.
(Phil) Not having to go to work is also very useful. But band rehearsal was cancelled tonite which I thought was feeble.
Jakutsk update - the fog has just cleared for the first time this year and they have a balmy -32° with light snow.
[Rosie] I did continue to work from home for most of the rest of the day. In theory I could probably work from home every day, and pop in for the odd meeting - maybe once a week for an hour.
harvest
Just made zucchini chutney. Yum.
[flerdle] And now you've made me crave Brie - yum!
Weather news
Interesting weather day today, with no warming forecast in the daylight hours. The 7am temperature was 27, and the hourly forecasts indicate a monotonically declining temperature until 5am tomorrow, when the temperature is forecast to be 13. I haven't checked over night data, but I suspect there has also been a monotonic decline for the last 12 hours or so, from yesterday's high of around 39. If I'm right and the forecast is right, that suggests we will have eventually have seen declining temperatures for about 36 hours straight.
Down and down
(CdM) Er, where are you? I presume Melbourne or thereabouts. That must be very unusual given that it's summer and the sun tends to come out and ruin the "monotony". In the winter, at least here, the temperature can be very steady, day and night, if it's cloudy. In February 1985 there was a very nearly monotonic decline for 90 hours from 9.8 to -5.7 with just a couple of short spells when it went up 0.1 to 0.2 deg. The wind was ENE throughout and there was cloud, then rain, then sleet then snow.
Helo clouds helo sky
Lots of wonderful weather rushing into Zuid Holland from the North Sea today - hail and snow showers with sun. I have no idea how cold it is out there - have barely moved 30m from my desk all day.
Horseburgers
Thankfully I avoid processed food as far as is possible. I have eaten horse in the past while in France. Tastes much like beef to me. Still, it is fraud if not anything else, passing off food as beef. Bound to bugger up brand image, though. C'est la vie.
Labelling
I might have eaten horse in Malta, where they do. At a café, I had a baguette curiously labelled as "meat and salad". But it could just as easily have been beef. So there's the answer: just label things as "meat (produce of more than one species)", and add disclaimers like "prepared in a facility where horsemeat may be processed". Then the meat wholesalers can do their deals with the Romanian mafia above board. Come to think of it, Indian restaurants in the UK often list their curry options as chicken, prawns, or meat. I'd always assumed it was because there's something of a taboo against eating cows in India, but perhaps their "meat" doesn't come from cows.
Is it lamb?
This all reminds me of this story about the lack of lamb in lamb curries (and kebabs).
Service
Hello. Just a heads-up that this site will go down for an hour or two on the night of the 1st March, as the physical hardware is moving to a new home. Not that anyone will notice, but I just thought I'd mention it.
(rab) Blimey, there's posh. I didn't understand a word of it. Thanks for your efforts, as ever.
I don't understand it either but I get these hilariously breathless emails from time to time about technical incidents, the impact of which is always minimal.
Don't worry, Rosie, rab, like the Mayans, talks in mysterious ways.
Bright thing in sky
It's been up to over 15° here and very nice too except that I now have no excuse whatever for not doing a bit of gardening. In parts of Yorkshire and near the east coast it's stayed below 3°. That's spring for you. Of course it were always below -20° when ah were a lad.
Wether
Weather or not
We've had a couple of nice sunny days over here on the rock but now it is starting to cloud over again, I suspect that we shall soon get the forecast rain. It has been dry for 10 days - fantastic, even managed to mow the lawn this morning.
After dropping the daughter off in Reading at 7pm tonight, I appear to have no plans for the weekend - for the first time in absolutely yonks. Of course, the watching of rugby on TV will take place. Anyone doing anything interesting?
One more room to paint in the new house, then get the professional in to do hall stairs & landing (not all this weekend!)
Then it's get the current main dwelling ready to sell. That's my weekends for the next month.
Unseasonableness
This is the foulest March day I can remember. Snow showers, strong NE'ly wind, temperature a steady -2°C.
(Softers) I see Jersey Airport is now closed due to snow. You're cut off unless you fancy the ferry with a gale in the Channel. Not too warm either.
Your missing degrees? We got 'em
37 here.
Isolation
[Rosie] Yes, a friend is stranded in Portsmouth awaiting the departure of the conventional ferry. The airport is still closed till tomorrow, probably. 0C as I write, still snowing though forecast to stop soon. Hopefully it will warm up in the next 24 hours and normality will resume.
Busy? That's not half of it
Yesterday, I did my first Dutch Reformed Church funeral (my husband's 91-year old aunt - the last of the generation of my parents-in-law. The aunt was the only one of that generation that I ever met). Please make sure that there is wine or whisky at my funeral. A funeral and a burial without cheer is a very sombre and long affair indeed. And for God's sake, don't let that preacher in.
After that, I managed two hours' of frantic work back at the office.
Then I did an hour-and-a-half hour written Dutch exam (Niveau 2.1 - pre-intermediate, apparently). I don't expect 100%, but I do expect a pass.
And then I went to a wedding party, drank two glasses of red wine on an empty stomach and spoke the best Dutch of my life to people that I actually know here now.
Brilliant.
Hollandaise
(pen) Niveau 2.1? Are you sure it was Dutch? :-)
gestolen worden
The Dutch stole a lot of words from French. That's one of them.
Renewed acquaintance
Hello again to the good people of mc5! I return after an absence of several years, as prolonged underemployment has left me eager for intellectually stimulating entertainments. I hope you are all doing well!
Welcome back, Q.
Intellectual? Patronising, paternalistic, priggish, puerile, pathetic (and, no doubt, many other words beginning with Tuj's favorite letter) probably - but intellectual it isn't. Even I am tolerated! Perhaps you are the one to raise the bar?       ;)
Thanks, Dujon!
How about "pseudo-intellectual"? That should satisfy your terms and Tuj's preferences simultaneously!
Perfect.
Finally, back . . .
I had to be away from here for a long time. My Mama passed away in September and I just couldn't handle doing many of the things I used to do. I know that my Mama didn't get many of these things (only a few of the Glowworms and Limericks made her laugh at times). However, it was just difficult. Giertrude is my sister and we lost our Daddy back in 2008.
Glad to see all three of you back. It brightened up my day to see an absent name returning, and three back at once is a treat. Sorry to both about the sad personal news.
three?
I had been back briefly before but [ah...accidental alliteration] not recently. And now the third may Quendalon and on...
[kagomeshuko/Giertrud] A bit late to be saying sorry to hear that, but still true. The pain of losing your parents never really gets better, but the bad periods become less frequent over time (at least in my experience).
NotJohn, thanks. Yeah, it has been a difficult time. Missing my Daddy got easier and easier, remembering that he wanted me to have a good life. It was very difficult with my Mama because it turned into me always having to take care of her . . . and the doctors never listening to any of my wants and/or suggestions. It was a terrible experience leading up to her passing and has obviously taken a good deal to get better . . . and there are definitely still issues.
Sorrysorry
Apols for outage. Disk filled up. Deleted a big file for now, but I'm going to have to work out where the biggest offender is.
Shutting down a city for a day in order to catch a dangerous fugitive? Maybe that is justified. Shutting down a city for a day in order to fail to catch a dangerous fugitive? I think that is officially a victory for the terrorists.
Of course, I may have spoken too soon. It wouldn't be the first time. :-) But the post above was written just after the official word was "Lock down is over and we think the suspect is still in Massachusetts".
(CdM) Yes, 1-0 to the bomber. It's a ludicrous and hysterical reaction. I don't remember this country having a collective nervous breakdown when the IRA were killing people with their bombs in the 70's and 80's. This view wouldn't go down too well in Boston, of course, where they are more Irish than the Irish.
[Rosie] I've been having disturbing thoughts along those lines all weekend, and wondering how much Boston collectively donated to Noraid back in the day.
[Phil] I've had thoughts along those lines - the proportion of the Northern Irish population killed in Omagh was greater than the proportion of the US population killed at 9/11 so would Britain have been justified in launching missiles at Boston? (Of course in parallel with that thought I would vote for the unification of Ireland under the right conditions.)
(Phil) Probably quite a lot though to be fair the average donor may not have known what proportion, if any, went to the IRA. But the organisers certainly must have done. Nobody likes to talk about this, do they?
Yank reaction
[Rosie] They were less hysterical this time than after 9/11 though. So progress of a sort.
(SM) Given the respective number of deaths I'd say rather the opposite and it's all a bit dear-old-lady-has-seen-a-spider. At least we haven't seen an arbitrary country bombed yet.
[Rosie] Apart from America itself, bdum tish!
Tacet tutti
Weep, John Cage.
Nearly managed a month.
For those not following the 8 words game, I saw a hoopoe in my garden in Derbyshire last Sunday. I know enough about birds; a. to recognise it instantly and b. to know it was rare. The hoopoe is a frequent visitor to Southern England but that is the extreme limit of its normal range.
I reported it to the County Bird Recorder of the BTO (British Trust for Ornithology) – he asked me to fill in a ‘rare bird sighting’ form and told me it was the 35th record in Derbyshire and the first for over 2 years.
So, what constitutes a ‘sighting’? Primarily it needs to be accepted by the rare birds committee who make a decision whether to accept it. The criteria vary depending on the bird and the spotter. In my case, although I’m an RSPB member, they won’t have heard of me and wouldn’t take my word for it. if we were talking about some odd little brown warbler, unless it was confirmed by someone acknowledged as an expert. However a hoopoe is extremely distinctive and I have multiple very good photos, so in this case confirmation should not be required. Similarly a pragmatic view will be taken as to whether a number of sightings some time apart should be taken as being one or more individual birds.
Historically records are based on photos, then before that on birds trapped or shot or reported by acknowledged experts – it can get a bit vague, but they go back to the 18th century.
Bring back shooting as the only acceptable form of identification. Everything was better in the old days.
What's hit's history, what's missed's mystery.
[NJ] Thanks. It was the last question I was most interested in. What, in the idealised bird-spotting world, is a sighting supposed to represent? I think you are saying that, ideally, one sighting should equal a particular individual bird -- so if two different individuals spot the same bird on two different days (assuming you could tell, somehow), then that would count as one sighting, not two. Is that right?
Basically, yes. But, of course these records relate to areas; so, if my hoopoe had flown 10 miles East then it might have then also entered the records in Nottinghamshire, even if a series of sightings along its path showed that it was almost certainly the same bird. It's certainly very common for one person to sight a rarity and the next day dozens of twitchers (not birders) will turn up because they want it on their personal tick list. However they wouldn't regard that as a new sighting. It's not clear-cut.
[NJ] That comment took me right back to this classic sequence of Doonesbury.
[CdM] Enjoyed that.
Ignoring Doonesbury, and focussing on the more cerebral Peanuts, surely Woodstock was originally a (snake-eating - hoorah!) Secretary Bird?
Model R-75 raygun

I have just acquired this magnificent objet for a few quid at a flea market. It practically begs to be picked up and fondled, and then pointed at someone. This is a view of the barrel. Any guesses as to what it is? Clue: it is not a toy gun, real gun, or stage prop. A pair of cables running out of the grip attach to a standard 20MW DeLameter powerpack are terminated with alligator clips.

Beth yw hwn?
Windscreen de-icer, paint scorcher for DIY car paint jobs? Bang bang you're hot.
Maybe this should be in AVMA. [Rosie] Not a stripper of ice, paint, or clothes.
My guess, sir, would be a common garden variety of timing light (automotive for the use of).
It is undoubtedly a
Hidden textstroboscopic gun for timing something. If you hadn't said alligator clips I'd be on firmer ground in saying it's for timing car engines, but the chances are this originally came with other bits and pieces to make it do its job. The side view had me ready to call "Taser", but the lens is a giveaway. I think.
[Dujon, Stevie] Exactly so. One cable has two clips that go to the battery, the other has one clip that goes somewhere to pick up the high voltage spark and trigger the xenon flash tube. I'm thinking of pulling the innards out and replacing them with some sort of sound and light generator.
[Raak] So, you misled everyone by lying (by omission) about the cables! Now I'm in two minds whether to tell you that the third lead goes into the cap for sparkplug number 1. In fact, I think I won't. Nor will I mention the long metal electrode you need to attach to the sparkplug so you can connect the dizzy and the raygun of soon to be chewed-up-in-the-fan fingers.
At least this is a conversation . . .
Why is it that men these days don't know what a conversation is? Seriously, I just had this exchange on Plenty of Fish:

averageGiJoe
hi?

KagomeShuko
hi?

averageGiJoe
u have nice tittys

KagomeShuko
That's not a very polite conversation. Do you know the art of conversation at all?

averageGiJoe
yes gimmie ur num ill txt u

KagomeShuko
That's not the art of conversation. You don't understand at all.
[K] How do you know it was a man?

All right, all right, never mind. :-)
Been there, done that
[KShuko] hmmm. Sounds horribly familiar. As it turns out, I met my husband in a chatroom - and the first people to come and stay with me when I moved to the Netherlands to live with him were other friends that I also met in that chatroom. There are loons online, same as there are loons in real life.
[penelope] Are you telling me that the secret to your heart was not a box of chocolates delivered at great personal risk directly to your boudoir at dead of night, but a coarse posting to a social website appreciating your chest bumps? I wish I'd known that before climbing on that bloody dirt bike (and up the trellis).
[KagomeShuko] Here, want these chocolates? I've got a warehouse full of 'em.
no message
[TMIB] The boxes of chocolates - each and every one of them - were a huge treat. But you never stayed to chat. I don't know if you realise this but a seductive gift without the accompanying conversation is also doomed to fail. I may even have been as disappointed as KagomeShuko was with the chest-bump conversationalist.
I say this every summer, but...
Hello again all. Nice to see you all! I should like to go on record and state that la famille des nuits (as we are now known) is NEVER EVER MOVING HOUSE AGAIN EVER.
oh, go on...
[Nights] I've moved house (at least 150 miles each time) for the past four job changes; the last time was to the Netherlands (and the real reason was because of moving in with the windy miller). He has never moved house before - ever... we're living in the house where he was born, and we're about to buy a house, probably in the next village. I've been coaching him about it for the past two years, but I still don't know how he'll handle it when we do move. I think I'll just make sure his workshop is set up in the shed and send him in there for an hour or so every day.
moving? doddle!
I only moved 5 miles this time. 12 months ago was 100 miles. 16 months prior to that was 3 miles. 4.5 years prior to that was 7 miles. 2 years prior to that was 6 miles. 6 months prior to that was from Ireland to England, including most stuff going into storage for 3 months - that was the only time we've used a removal company. Each time has been a family of four, plus two dogs. Now I'm half-way through my 5th decade on this orb, I'm starting to see the appeal of e-books.
being a bit chatty for a change
[pen] All fingers crossed that it works out well for you both.
[Phil] Have you moved to *that* place .. y'know .. the house close to the rather fine hostelry that I streetviewed when you mentioned it a while back?

In other news - "we are a grandmother". Or more accurately a Nanna. My second born 22 yr-old and her immensely likeable partner have managed to produce a daughter of such exquisiteness that I'm still choking back the tears of joy.
[Chalky] Indeed. It is exquisitely peaceful, but only 5 minutes' drive to work. I have sat on the patio at 9pm waiting for dusk, because the birds disturb the peace. Oh, and the hostelry is indeed magnificent. The only downside is that there is much grass. I'm about half-way through the first cut, as it was about 8" long in places.
[Chalky] Congratulations! A new person on the planet is always a wonderful occasion.
*<smug>* Amateurs. I upped stakes and moved to America.

*<glum>* All my Anglotat got broken in transit.

Hidden text I wonder if the NSA computer will start a new index on Anglotat?
Ooh, a new Baby Droolbuckets!
[Chalky] Weight? Height? Eyelash length? Eye colour? Tsk. Women!
Anglotatters
[Stevie] Yours must have been cheap stuff then - mine didn't! And besides, my big sister had already moved to the USA 25 years ago. I thought I'd try moving somewhere *where I didn't speak the language*. Yah boo...
No spikka da lingo
(pen) Glasgow? Newcastle? Caernarfon?
[Rosie] If you hadn't added Caernarfon you were going to get e Geordie Handshake ;)
[penelope] Ask Dunx whether he could speak the language when he moved Stateside.
Well, another week has begun with a crash. Literally in our case - someone fell through the ceiling of our office this morning. Guess who's the designated first aider. I am promised the blood will come out of my shirt, or a gift voucher for a new one.
You are lucky, nights, to have met such a generous burglar.
I should have mentioned that the unexpected guest on Monday morning was a contractor... Apologies for the confusion. Apparently he is in hospital but expected to make a full recovery.
Well, our move (c100 miles) is complete now as we've just found the obligatory last box of stuff that we thought had got left on the van (in this case it was actually a bag, not a box). Really, it's all gone pretty well considering how much of a downsizing it's been. I fully expect to get a car in the garage before winter sets in.
Don't go in there...
As a child, I never knew that garages were meant for keeping cars in. Ours was full of easels and canvases, magazines, fishing rods, gardening equipment and a piano. Glad to hear the move went well, NJ. The windy miller and I have just made the first preliminary pre-process, water-testing approaches to buying our first house together. Basically we've identified one we like, and said we'd like to try and buy it.
Congrats to all the movers and *fingers crossed* for penelope that the process runs smoothly. Mrs Phil and I have decided that even if we won the lottery, we would not leave the village we've moved to. It is the most welcoming and calming place either of us has ever lived. Every day feels like we're on holiday.
Wow
[Phil] That sounds really lovely. Congrats!
I agree with pen - well, when don't I - Phil, that sounds idyllic. The nice part about our neighbourhood is that it's exciting and vibrant. Being the only French speakers in our building is a novelty too - I'm learning to curse in Arabic!
jeez, this is boring
Please, someone, kick me up the arse and tell me to get on with editing this piss-boring brochure, taking out all the management b*ll*cks and ambitious flim-flam couched in management-speak. Page 11 of 17 and it is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g...
Oh, get on with it Pen! Well, it's Friday evening, so I hope you got in with it.
I did, thanks. Left at 6.15...
Is there ever a correct answer?
What do you do when you like a guy friend? Tell him or don't? Every bit of advice on the Internet seems to be from women. I've heard that guys like the direct approach.
Hidden textI've known him for over two years, but as far as I knew, he had a girlfriend. He's been coming over on a weekly to mow my lawn, sometimes with one of his friends. We were hanging out afterwards this last time since I offered to buy him something to eat at the place I was going. He thought I knew that he no longer had a girlfriend, but I hadn't heard until he let me know last night during conversation with everyone there (a coffee shop where many people sit and talk together when they end up at that place).
[K] You risk it and ask him out. What's the worst that could happen? You'd be no worse off than you are now (less the uncertainty and a lack of someone to mow the grass). Good luck.
[K] Agreed. As a guy who was initially asked out by his now wife, it's appreciated, as men tend to be oafs that don't know the difference between a girl who is interested in them and a four course dinner for two in a fancy restaurant.
nervous
I have to teach him how to make balloon animals. He is so super sweet and awesome. When I asked if we should meet somewhere, his first response was to meet at a church service that I attend! Then, if for some reason, the service didn't happen (like the one week), to go to his church. The whole devotion to Christ, to me, really matters.
The Heaving MAin
After the shittiest night's sleep for ages, I'm sailing overnight to England tonight and looking forward to being tucked up in my bunk, full of lovely steak and red wine,with my bargain gin and sherry bottles clinking in their bags, by around 8.30pm. But first, team meeting, meeting with the zdean and a bunch of writing up that should have been finished last week. Oops.
It's been a day of accomplishment chez Nights. I went to the dentist for a checkup and came out with a quote for a root canal, went to a client meeting without the client (he got his weeks mixed up), found out we didn't get a contract I was the lead for, and spent an hour and a half in traffic on the way home.

And then made my special tomato sauce for dinner, and opened a bottle of wine. And all is well again in the universe.
Fortunes may dip and rise; unlike this, good perspective can be depended upon. Long may you continue to be thankful for each thing you do have!
That being said, I hope better news isn't too far away for you =)
No balloon animals
Sister and I had a pizza party today. It ended up I didn't have to teach him how to make balloon animals. I didn't end up telling him anything, either. We had a good time talking with the people that came, and then they had to leave, and then he, my sister, and I talked. I learned more about him, anyway. Also, I'm pretty terrible at telling if a guy is flirting. I think we might be flirting with each other, though.
In my experience, flirting is most effectively perceived while one is at the peak of the bell curve of intoxication. Drink too little and your insecurities will interfere with your ability to gauge whether he's flirting; drink too much and you are, well, too drunk to tell.
I second Quendalon's advice. A drink is good to relax you, five is bad because you fall over. If he's flirting with you, great! But you may have to be more direct...
The drinking . . .
I don't drink alcohol. I'm not trying to be a prude about it. I've just never liked the taste of it.
Alcohol
As a large section of my life has been involved in selling alcohol, I must object. Alcohol itself has no flavour or aroma whatsoever (although I would warn that telling a police officer that when they say they can smell alcohol on you through the car window is not a good idea).
I would happily rise to the challenge of finding an alcoholic drink to match any person's taste, scent and aroma preferences.
I would like to add that alcohol is an evil and toxic chemical, and if cannabis had been discovered first, we'd all be sitting around smoking pot in bars, condemning the petty criminals that shoplift to pay back-street dealers to feed their Zinfandel addictions :-)
Alcohol
You can object all you want. However, any time there has been alcohol in a drink, I've been able to taste it. I had a friend who was that way, too. I'd imagine we're in that group of people known as "super tasters."
Still, the guy. I know . . . talk to him already!
I didn't think I was going to see him until tonight.
I'm sitting at my computer this morning and Woofles (my little dog) starts barking. I don't think much at first because I'm used to people riding bikes in this neighborhood. It didn't take long, though, to see that it was the guy! He said he thought he'd come by and mow the lawn a day earlier than usual. After mowing the lawn, I gave him his sunglasses that I had that he forgot at a local coffee shop the other night, and then he said he had to go. Of course, I sat and watched him mow the lawn - I'd be crazy not to want to watch that! What to think . . . I still don't know. I just kept praying right then, too.
I know that the guy I dated in college gave the excuse of having to go on a "beer run" for his step-father-to-be to come see me. He didn't have to come into Lake Charles for that because they well beer out in the little town where he lived.
So, the question is "is he busy tomorrow or was he just doing that because he wanted to stop by to see me?" The stuff greatly confuses me.
The talk . . .
We're just friends. He asked me to go outside and talk with him at the 4th of July party. Sometimes I hate the emotions that come with being a girl because nothing changed between us and yet, it still hurt. It doesn't make sense.
I was okay in a few minutes, though. I just needed to cry and then pray.
My mind keeps wandering and thinking, "Did he say 'not yet' at some point?" I don't think he did, but I kind of stopped completely listening when he said "friends only." I know what whatever is supposed to happen will happen.
He looked snazzy in his tux, though!
Me, Him in a tux
Is this real?
[penelope] Is anything real?
Reality
Yes, this is real. He and I went to a Fourth of July celebration - not together - just at the same place. He's my friend :)
states
Remember, I live in the United States - Louisiana.
[pen] Agreed.
In temembrance
Not sure I can remember, because I didn't know in the first place... anyway. In other (non-non-dating) news, *waves from my sister's new garden furniture*
Well it's another scorcher here in Europaradise. At least that's what the radio would have me believe. In reality, it's quite lovely, and I'm going to sit in the garden with a beer and a book and a little radio playing FIP, possibly the best radio station in the history of all things.
(nights) You've only got 28°C according to my source. Same as Birmingham. A paltry 27° here. Comment dit-on "phewhatascorcha" en français?
"Zut alors, quelle scorcher"?
Taking it up a notch with Fretch (or perhaps Dunch)
Dieu verdomme, il fait mooi weer, n'est ce toch?
(pen) Ace Belgian indeterminacy.
It's going to be nice and sunny and warm, not too hot, for at least a week. Despite the conditions I'm going to get bored. I want one of these. But, like everything else, it won't be the same second time round.
Computers
What's happened to my link? "These" should lead you to:
Sod it, then
Nice to meet you
So, I feel a little shy about asking. But if I were to make my way to London toward the end of August (exact date TBD), would any of you care to meet me for a cocktail?
Cocktails for Several?
I think that could be feasible. I believe someone else is visiting London in August too. See this bookmark
Another go
*shameless self-puffery alert* One of these is what I wanted.
Beeeeer milkshakes!^W^WCocktails
[cfm] Be delighted to.
(cfm) Lunch for two at the Greasy Spoon, Streatham High Road. Tick. Pints of bitter at the Dyson and Duster, Penge, SE 20. Tick. Brandy and cigars at the embassy. Tick. Just not, please God, cocktails. It would be nice to meet you, BTW. :-)
Lettuce after his name
[Rosie] AFRMS? Nice!
(Phil) It's nothing - we're the riff-raff. You get interviewed by a couple of Fellows, or you did 30 years ago when I joined. It doesn't imply current professional involvement and peer approval but has its uses such as access to information and a slight pull in getting something published in the meteorological literature. I'd rather have an MBE like my brother or like a friend of a friend who jealously owns a restored pannier-tank engine at Didcot.(No. 3650). The actual metal-bashers refer to him as "My Bloody Engine".

I should be seeing family around that time so I might be in for a pilg.

Around here, if you don't speak Elsässich, you say "Nan mais quand même fait un putain de chaleur oh, faut qu'on part à la mer tu sais hein". At least, that is what my colleagues have been saying and who am I to disagree.
Langauges
I have no idea what " Elsässich" is. I speak English. I know some French, but haven't truly practiced it in years. I know a few Spanish words and phrases. Then, I know just a tiny bit of German words in phrases. I can speak Pig Latin, does that count?
I had thought that I had mentioned I lived in Louisiana and Giertrud is my sister IRL.
Didcot?
[Rosie] Oooh, Didcot's my nearest town now (just). If you're visiting said friend of friend, give me a shout.
Langauges - for measuring your langs
Elsässich - is it something to do with Alsace-style Germch/Frenman?
[nights] I'm guessing they say "parte" :-)
[cfm] Sadly, I am on the wrong side of the world. I have only ever been to one real London-based pilgrimage.
[K] I think you did mention both those things, yes. At least, those were both things I believed to be true, and it seems unlikely that was just by chance. :-)
[CdM] They do indeed. This is what I get for not having my spellchecker on.
[Kagome/pen] Elsässich, or Alsatian, is a low German dialect spoken in Alsace, generally by the older generations, although it is making a comeback with the support of the region. It's roughly intelligible with Swiss German, and if I concentrate, I can just about understand via my knowledge of German.

In other news, I understand my town is on the news in the UK via some judgement or other being handed down about something in prison? *innocent face
.. is calling the clever brigade
Pleaseplease guess the AVMA
A propos the discussion in Eight Words
... I remember thinking, when the "I'm not wearing any pants" game started, that it would conjure up very different images for Brits (sorry, pen) and Americans. As a Brit who lived a long time in the US, I find myself flipping back and forth, or picturing someone wearing neither pants nor pants.
*excitement plus*
[Nights, Rosie, SM, Phil] Excellent! Presently, all I know is that I have to be in Hamburg on business for a week or so in the second half of August. I'll get back to you when my dates firm up.
[CdM] Sad, indeed. But I am sure whatever side of the world you are on is the right one. :-)
I can't believe it's not hotter
No weather talk?
(pen) I was taught if you can't say anything nice ... say nothing ;)
[pen/Chalky] I think the weather's lovely. I wouldn't mind a bit of a breeze, but high 20s is fine with me. Actually, the garden is starting to suffer a bit, but it'll live.
Three free weeks
From Friday, I've got three weeks off. I'd like the good weather to last a bit longer, but I don't want our beans and tomatoes to perish while we're away for a week or so of that!
Persistence
(pen) The weather charts show no end to this spell, at least not before the charts themselves become pretty meaningless (10 days or so). Hot, but not record-breakingly so, and no rain at all. There might be the odd thunderstorm in N France. I'm getting rather bored with it.
Tis ok
We have a BBQ planned for Saturday, so no doubt the world will end or somesuch.
Mob of moaners! Get outside and wash your cars. :)
What I mentioned
[CdM] I do remember mentioning those things now because I was joking with y'all when y'all mentioned perhaps a get-together and said to hold it in my town! And, that is funny about the pants! The game works either way for it to be completely silly!
I wish the car wasn't in for servicing. Walking 3km from the nearest bus stop and arriving wreathed in sweat is not a good look.
Ot. Innit?
[Raak] I'll take your word for it. I've only been outdoors for about 1 minute so far today.
Boston vacation
Also very hot. Walks along the breezy Charles and doing my laps in salt water unheated pools also brought some relief.
Back at my desk now. I thought I was going to have the week from hell ahead of me--but it looks like there may be some relief from that, too. YAY!
(Raak) Kinot mate. Hottest day at Plas Huws since 2006. 32.2°C top whack. Humid and sweaty but not equatorial levels, nothing like. There was an interesting interlude late last night at Crystal Palace, S. London with light rain, thunder and lightning but the full moon clearly visible. Just heard a faint rumble of thunder here at home (2.57 a.m.). Full moon still visible, illuminating some rather interesting-looking clouds. Things may happen.
[Rosie] I thought of you as 'interesting' clouds approached us last night. Very little rain actually fell though. 32.2C is the "Great Threshold" in my mind, being 90F.
Nanopilgrimage manqué
[cfm] You were in Boston last week?? I was there (well, technically, Cambridge) for a conference. (And yes, it was definitely hot, though I spent most of my time in airconditioned meeting rooms.)
Cruel fate
[CdM] Heartbroken! How I wish you had *waved from Boston*.
HOTTTT
Hot here, too. 91F at the hottest point of the day, or as Google tells me 32.7778C.
Just back from a wedding in Chamonix. Even at that elevation, it was still 30°C and over. On the plus side, the weather was beautiful and the reception lavish. Go to a French wedding, if you're asked. You will not regret it.
[nights] I was paused, very briefly, in Chamonix in July '96. Simply stunning. I keep meaning to go back - in summer, as I'm no skier.
Full route
[nights] In fact, this is the route I took for a day out with my (then) fiancée and 8 month old son in a rented Twingo. The views on the road down to Martigny were phenomenal.
"With robes that gleam with sunny sheen Sweet August doth appear.."
Have just added to two poetry games both presenting 'joy' as their last word ... are we having happy summers?
Is everybody happy?
Yus. And I just had to go and Google to find The Scaffold's 'Today's Monday' song, in which is the line 'Is everybody happy? You bet your life we are' which I have remembered vaguely since my childhood. Thanks!
Happiness?
I'm not too bad - work was way better yesterday than Monday. Tonight I play cricket for my current team for the last time, against my own village team, which I shall be joining after tonight. I think post-match beer may be in evidence, both at the pitch and back in the village.
Eudaimonia
I just got my official redundancy letter, which I've seen coming at least a year out. I'll be taking up a half-time post at a nearby research institute, and with my redundancy payment, my late mother's legacy, and collecting my pension in two years this is not actually a bad thing. In fact, I could have had a full-time post at the research institute, but I decided I couldn't face grinding away at that full time for another three years, and look forward to having the time, as they say, to pursue my own interests.
Should be leaving the bitter misery of over 2 years' unemployment behind me come Monday. Can't wait.
[Tuj] Congratulations and best wishes for a rocking good landing!
Sunday night is bath night
[Tuj] Congrats! I didn't realise you'd had such a struggle. Hope it goes well.
{Raak] Also congrats. That's sounds like a nice way to enjoy working. I have to admit I'm starting to see the advantages of a part-time job, timewise, but the windy miller and I would like to buy a house before the end of the year, so we need to keep working.
[Tuj] May we ask what sort of job? Does it start with a "P"? I've been unemployed twice in the last 10 years, for about 8 months each time, and it's mind-achingly frustrating, so I'd imagine you must be on quite a high!
[Raak] That sounds like a very painless redundancy - congrats :-)
P-rofession
[c,p,P] Ta all =) I did do a course in proof-reading the other year but have yet to make anything of it. The saddle I'm back in is just some customer service, answering emails and phones - but as Phil alluded to, my Monday morning feeling was far from the stereotypical heel-dragging!
[Penelope]
Hidden textFrom memory: Sunday is Prayer Day, Saturday is Payday, Friday is Fish'n'Chips, Thursday is Shepherd's Pie, Wednesday is Roast-a-Beef, Tuesday is Soo-oop, Monday is Washing Day IEHYBYLWA. Didn't know it was a Scaffold Song though

[Raak] That place has definitely gone to the dogs and does not deserve one of such stellar provenance. I'd blame Global Warming but I'm not sure now if it wasn't all made up by ENV.

[Tuj] Congratulations. May it be rewarding in every sense.

You bet
[Stevie] Correct. Now go and find it on YouTube!
Me again - blessings tally
It's Friday, and the beginning of the weekend of our second wedding anniversary. Nice things that have happened or to happen today: it's payday; a professor has replied to my emailed request for information within 24 hours and with lots of information; I have leftover home-made chicken jalfrezi, lentil dahl and basmati rice for lunch; we're going to Antwerp market for breakfast on Sunday morning (fried fish and then waffles as big as my head), and my lovely god-daughter passed the first batch of her GCSEs.
me again (1 week later)
Weekend plans, you lot? I think I might be cycling around the Zeeland countryside in search of blackberries and stunning landscape phtographs with a couple of friends from work. And dodging showers. First; haircut tonight after work, with the girl with the hairdryer tattoo. I think that means she's committed t her career. What about you?
Household drudgery. Walking dogs, laundry, cleaning, cooking, washing up, gardening. Have been invited to a house-warming, but probably won't go. Oh, I need to get a new tyre, that'll be thrilling...
In other words
[Phil] You could summarise my seemingly bucolic list of delights as 'anything except housework'. We all have to wear clean pants, you know, It's just that some of us wash them during the week. Get out and see something new.
My last day of work today
Actually, that was two weeks ago, as I took the rest of the month off as holiday. Bought an iPad while I'm still eligible for educational discount. I'd buy a new Mac as well, as my current desktop can't run the last two versions of OSX, but there will be new models announced later this year. Apple aren't saying when, but it's unlikely to be this month now.
[pen] Just realised I mentioned Mrs Phil's gastroenteritis in another place, not here. Not really able to go anywhere at the mo. Good news is that I can pick blackberries while walking dogs.
Gastroenteritis in another place
[Phil] I hope she's now recovered, and your weekend was fruitful. I have been cycling round the empty lanes in Zeeland, where Google Streeview hasn't even been yet, and foraging blackberries. Planning to do it for the next couple of Saturdays. (The windy miller's mill is on this map - a village called Zonnemaire, and we also look after the teeny one-third scale mill on the harbourside at Brouwershaven).
[pen] She's getting there - managing to spend four hours out of bed for the first time in 12 days is progress.
Blimey
Jeez, must have been TERRIBLE. She'll feel rubbish. Sending best regards for swift improvement.
thanks, pen. On the (further) downside, I took the dogs for a longer walk than normal at the weekend, on a different route, and completely forgot about the blackberries. Still, we have damsons, apples, loganberries and blackberries in the back garden :)
Who? What?
What happened to Cleri Who's who?
moribundity
[Softers] You killed it. Much like the AVMA game.


Only kidding! If there's no action for 3 days - the game will revert to its Flat Footed status. Just click on 'See More'
As for AVMA - perhaps you can find a way to pique the collective interest of participating crescenters? You're in charge.
(Softers, Chalky) Revived by clerihughes, but only by breaking bending the rules.
Well done Rosie.
the original game reviver
[Rosie, Software] The current game of Cleri Who's Who has been in existence for several years ... but then you knew that, yes?
decision time
Should I, or should I not go with the windy miller to his mill in the wilds of Zeeland tomorrow for Open Monuments Day? (Heritage Open day in the UK tomorrow too... have you checked what's open where you are?) It's going to piss with rain. I could usefully take some work to do (extension lead out of the mill into the car where I sit in comfort with my laptop and without the distraction of the internet) and I'd take some sausages to cook, and probably stuff to make pancakes too. I could go blackberry picking on the bike if there's a break in the weather. The alternative is cleaning the loo and doing the laundry at home alone.
I think I've just answered my own question.
(Chalky) I did indeed, m'dear. Re-reviver, perhaps.
[penelope] Hope you went. Glad we were of help.
[Rosie] Credit where it's due, eh? ;)
on yer bike
[Chalks] I did indeed go. And it was lovely. I put a photo on Facebook - so you can see where I was cycling. The loo got cleaned anyway. The weather's been very showery ever since.
[pen] Yes - saw the photo. 'Bout the time I was in league with the freeway :-)
Heel bon
I'm loving the Franglais limerick that's waiting for a conclusion on another page. The windy miller and I have found that we understand each other very well when we speak a mixture of Dutch and French (my Dutch being terrible and my French being O level circa 1981 and about the same standard as his). Is this Francerlandse? Nederlais? Dutchglais or Frutch?
Ce limérique-là
(pen) Tu l'aimais encore? I dun me best.
Encore, plus le petit dejeuner
Just back from a romantic short séjour in the Ardennes. All languages work there - at least all the ones that I know - English, Dutch and French. Trouble is, you're not supposed to use them all at once, in one sentence, when speaking to other people. Oh well. But the wine was bloody nice (and the foie gras too, if I'm allowed to mention it).
(pen) Course y'are, duck.
Tonight: staying late to sit in on a student mentors' coaching session (for alumni who have volunteered to act as mentors to current students). Will be writing article about it later. Free dinner.
"Free dinner" - a wonderful combination of words! I shall be enjoying free food and drink on Sunday at our village cricket club's season finale, whatever the weather. I might even bowl an over, if my withered achilles will take the strain.
Monday Monday
Morning all. Weekend reports please: Phil, did you get your overs in? Or did your achilles put paid to everything but sitting in the pavilion scarfing sarnies? *ducks*.
'Free dinner' was actuially a sandwich on tough French bread. Ruinous for my teeth as well as my gut. Bleurgh.
The weekend
I didn't bowl, and would have batted, had our previous batsman got out at least one ball earlier. I did consume plenty of ale, and far too much barbecue though :)
Five times the Friday fun
Getting girded up to cover an afternoon-long conference in central Rotterdam. Preparing to take notes to write it up three different ways for various outlets, plus another two other reports to come out of it. Five times the fun from just one afternoon...
Work fun
I have fire extinguisher training this afternoon, in which we will actually get to set off fire extinguishers in the car park! Can I grow up by this afternoon? I doubt it.
[Phil] When I got a keycard to the research institute that I spend some of my time at, there was "fire training". It was "That's a fire extinguisher." That was enough to tick the checkbox on the form.
How'd it go, Phil? Still foaming at the mouth?
I'm a firestarter, a twisted firestarter....
Well, I managed the improbable, and learnt a useful lesson in the process. I managed to restart an extinguished newspaper fire with a water fire extinguisher.
Splendid!
[Phil] You could be onto a winner.
[pen] Just call me Charlie McGee!
Wikipedia, wikipedia...
Had to google that name, Phil! Never read any Stephen King, never go to the cinema either!
So what else is banter-worthy this week? I've been to London for a day and a half (as I have posted in another place) and I've got two big deadlines in the next 10 days. Or possibly three. I have started a new tradition of Saturday afternoon cycle rides around 'our corner' of Zeeland (where the windy miller's mill is) which I'm enjoying more and more. I rarely see a car or anyone else. It's utterly silent and empty - fields, dykes, birds - and that's about it, so I just take my camera. I'm intending to keep it up through the winter (there's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes) so now I have announced it to you lot, you can egg me on.
ride, penelope, ride
[pen] I had to google it too, having read the book at least 20 years ago.
I managed to hit one deadline last friday, and look likely to hit another one tomorrow, which is to have two massive catalogues on CD, and get them to the duplicator's shop for midday. If I achieve that, I can have monday off :-)
Holidays
I've just booked my remaining vacations days, to use them up before the end of the year. Two short holidays in November, and not one single working Monday in December!
Deadlines
I wish I had the bravado to quote Douglas Adams to my boss
Hidden text"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by"
. However, my determination to hit this one led to my first all-nighter for a long time. Admittedly, I did sleep from 5am to 6am, but I did have two programs running at the time.
Head desk
Phil! Phil! Wake up!
Last all-nighter I did was at some rally or other in about 1999, in Scotland, in another life. I ate sooo much cake trying to stay awake.
grrrrr
Despite my best efforts, I think we're not going to have this ready for midday. Just sitting here watching processes thrashing away in my task manager, wishing my processor was more powerful. Fingers crossed that it saves this time!
I think this definitely needs to be added to my "Murtaugh List", named after Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon films, as in "I'm getting too old for this s**t".
Breathing space
Deadline is now 3.30pm - hurry up, computer!
Dreadlines
*grooogh* Three days until the dreadline for the alumni magazine. Still two features to write - and the letter from the dean. I'm not so much his ghost writer, but more in spiritual possession of his soul.
school, school, school, school . . .
I have three English classes - American Literature, British Literature, and Shakespeare. i've not been thrilled with some of the Brit Lit and others I've loved. However, I LOVED the assignment for Friday! We had to read Edward Lear's "The Jumblies" and some of his Limericks then Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" and Humpty Dumpty's explanation of it.
*waves from Lincolnshire*
*waves back from West Berks*
Distinctly unwell, but hoping to get Brownie points from boss for working from home instead of just phoning in sick.
feeling any better Phil?
I've spent the week off, mooching around my home town, having a lovely time. I've bought a map of the county dated 1796, researched and downloaded a font contemporaneous to the map so I can label it authentically, and taken it to be mounted and framed sympathetically. and I've made my mum a birthday cake. We're off out for Fish and chips in Cleethorpes tonight to celebrate!
(pen) Fish and Chips in Cleethorpes? As I have remarked earlier, I fought you was one o' vem posh birds. However no-one who likes maps (or fish and chips) can be all bad. I have finally put together a contour map of the entire North Downs, 15 m interval, 1: 80,000 scale. 6 ft 6 in by 1 ft 6 in.
maptastic
[Rosie] How did you make it? from noining up exisitng maps, or drawing it yourself?
What's mildly inneresting about the 1796 mapofLincs is the plethora of villages in the wolds, presumably full of sheep farmers and shepherds using the recently-completed louth navigation canal to take wool to Louth's famous carpet factory, and also to the coast and by boat to London and Antwerp, and the relatively sparsely populated fens, barely drained, uninhabitable and uncultivateable at that time. And it's hand coloured. Double mount with green inner, and a bevelled oak frame. Nice.
noining?
I wasn't even quick enough to use the 'Whoops!' function. Joining.
Mapa Downium Borealium
(pen) It took ages. Process: Trace 15 m contours from OS 1:25000 maps. Transfer to A4 sheets, stick them all together and ink in the contours. Scan, sheet by sheet in Photoshop and make sure the lines are continuous. Use Paint Bucket to add contour layer colours. Add place and river names. Print out and butt the edges together. Spray with artist's lacquer. Show it to the blokes down the pub. Take it home and stick it on the wall. I wish I had some way of displaying it.
[Rosie] You can get it framed. You should get it framed. all the work was worth it, wosnit?
(pen) I have framed it. Not exactly a craftsman job but it now decorates my bedroom. My cartophilia comes from my Dad who taught geography among other things and left dozens of old OS maps to which I have added quite a number.
Wensdi rambling
So how is everyone? Anyone care to tell us how they intend to address the remainder of the working week? I'm going to attack it, and use all the determination and spunk I can muster to write TWO BORING THINGS that have been sitting on my to-do list for too long. (And sorry, no apologies for using the word 'spunk'! I'm retreating into the 1930s in several respects, not least with my hankering for bread and dripping).
Bread and dripping? Ee' lass, I scoffed chips in gravy last night.
Bread and dripping? That brings back a few memories, penelope. It were a staple at ours in't late '40s and early '50s. Owt that were scrapeable (greaseproof paper an' such) went inter't chip pan. 'Course we din't call it that as we were posh and had 'fried bread'.
Dunkin fries
(Chalky) Oh, how could you? It ruins them. Chipppps should be crissssp.
How am I?
[penelope] I'm ill, again. 102F temperature, dizzy, headaches, snot and catarrh everywhere. The bonus is that I'm losing weight :)
A doctor recommends...
Phil, m'lad you need beefing up. Get some proper beef dripping inside yer. Hope it goes soon. (Colleague whose father is a GP got the 'flu shot on Tuesday evening. She complained of a sore arm yesterday. Today she's off with 'flu symptoms)
Has everybody taken to their beds with influenza?
It's a bit quiet in here.

*pin drops*

I heard that...
Got back to work on Monday, although I still feel like a mucus production line. Got loads of work on though, as I was off for 7 of the previous 10 days. Unfortunately, my boss is off sick now, and the other third of the IT department is on holiday, so I'm the only person available to fix everything (inc hardware - grrrr).
I ain't touching it
I'm not going near the Glow Worms game again until someone gets rid of the one with the badly-metred line about nipples. *blames Software*
[pen] It seems OK to me. Confused.
Addressing the nipple without even a coma
[Phil] I meant it had a typo: you/your. Alternatively 'To you, nipple, I'd be put'. Still weird. Tell me when it's all over.
(pen) The metre's all right - it's just a typo, and a fairly common one.
[penelope] You can come out now.

[Rosie] A common typo? I would challenge that statement - if only because I'm in the mood to challenge pretty much everything this morning ... (insert winky face)
To put it another way - why do we have the 'preview' function' or indeed the 'whoops' escape if not to eradicate such monstrosities? < mode= really going over the top now >
Nobody expects the Monstrous Regiment!
Least of all the Spaniels!
12 minutes, a new record
The time I have just observed a group of three adults, two babies, and a toddler take in a cafe, from their first getting-up-to-go movements to actually getting out of the front door. The previous record was 10 minutes, taken by two women, a baby, and an enormous quantity of shopping.
Today is my Birthday!
thanks to time zones....
...in that case it probably still is for nearly another 10 hours. So Happy Birthday Giertrud :-)
Thanks!!
HBTY Giertrud
Try to keep growing old for as long as possible.
-
%aThis website is great 6cd8212ffc3e2c1f993c2a3d5054d176
Yeah
it is, isn't it?
Hurrah!
Ther evenings will start drawing out in less than a week, at least at this latitude, 51° 19' 06"N. This cannot be too soon.
[Rosie] Spoilsport!
brighter later
[Rosie] Goodie. Ta for that bit of news.
Last time in a long time
A counting date ... 11/12/13 .... It was in November for us who write the month first though...
Dates - USA style
(Giertrude) Surely you have 12/13/14?
Dates . . .
Yes, [Rosie], we had that. We've had a lot of neat dates so far this century. 1/2/3
2/3/4
3/4/5
4/5/6
5/6/7
6/7/8
7/8/9
8/9/10
10/11/12
11/12/13
The Theatre!
Two more performances of "Irving Berlin's White Christmas" for me. The last performance day and cast party will be bittersweet.
about blummin' time too
Only four more working days until the Xmas hols. Next Saturday the windy miller's mill is the starting point for the torchlit midwinterday four-course gastrotour of the tiny village in Zeeland. i'll be serving gluhwijn from the workbench, under a canopy of 200 fairy lights, as they light the torches at sunset (which is about 4pm here). And on Sunday, we're heading over to Blighty for the week.
three more days...
Three more days at work (after this afternoon - although we're halfway through the afternoon so it's mattering less and less) until Friday night's dinner with the windy miller's company (in real life, he runs a construction project management company and employs three people. I have to be the boss's wife...), Saturday's midwinter sunset torch-lit procession around the village on Zonnemaire in Zeeland where the windy miller's mill is. And on Sunday, we depart for Blighty on the ferry to Dover, heading for some friends in Guildford for our first overnight stop. Can't wait.
2.5 more days
After today, I have the aforementioned 2.5 working days this year. Then friday night is the company christmas do, with 63 in attendance - plus these chaps providing entertainment. Plus Mrs Phil & I have been given free B&B at the hotel too. I'm genuinely looking forward to it, which is most out-of-character.
2.5 more days
Haven't posted my Christmas cards yet. And there are some I haven't written yet either. The ones that are ready to go are in a big bag in the car. I'm hoping to get to the post office (stationed in our local village supermarket) tonight.
That's it! I'm leaving!
In an hour or so, I will no longer need to waste so much time in here because I'm heading out for a week-and-a-half off. I'll try and pop in from time to time though. Try and keep up the chatter yourselves, eh?
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas (eve)!
A very Merry Christmas to all at MC5!
Ditto
Ditto
Ditto.
Season's Greetings
Happy Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah Day everyone, and Allah bless us, one and all!
Yes, I'm still here
Hope your Christmases went well and the new year is suitably novel.
Oh, it's you
Indeed. Which novel should we aim to replicate in 2014? HNY, you lot.
Happy New Year!
(Stevie) Thank you for waiting till midnight GMT.
I've started the New Year with bungling and ranting. TYpical.
Pour décourager les autres
(pen) Keep it up. Eliminate the crap. BTW You've made a TYpo. :-)
Watching the defectives
Bungling and rating? Could be ... *wink*
gravity
*drops*
[pen] Burgling and panting?
Dear Scansion Police
Anonymous defamation is simply pathetic. Even if it were justified criticism, which it isn't, posting it anonymously is the behaviour of a half-baked, duplicitous, weak-minded troll.
The chippy misfit
(Phil) He's probably getting at me, for reasons best known to himself, and has hijacked a limerick to do so. Not good. Probably thinks this site cliquey but too dim to realise that firstly, it isn't, and secondly, if he thinks it is then all he needs do to join the clique is simply not be an arsehole. The wit, widsom and wordplay of all is welcomed, as has been proved dozens of times with newcomers.
Wittering, as only I can
Jeez it's tedious doing HTML.in here on an iPhone. *tap tap tappity tap*
East or West Wittering
The capital "P" is no disguise - we know you're in there. Hurry up - I'm dying.
Capital
[Rosie] I laughed out loud. But now I've got to grips with the titchy keyboard on this eyephone, I'm back to my normal self.
foggiest
So... Thursday, eh? And what has the week delivered for you lot? For me: I've finally finished all the satsumas in the house. I'm going to buy some more in a minute from the new supermarket on the university campus. It's a hard habit to break, two per day since November... Exciting times.
I finished up the week by watching penguins emerge from the ocean.
Beat that
[CdM] a penguin automat? I finished the week in the greengrocer's, being reminded that I needed potatoes. I love independent shops.
[CdM] Don't be ridiculous. Amphibians emerged from the oceans, had dinosaur babies who laid penguin eggs. Read a book!
[Dan] I've just reread my bible*, and it says no such thing. In fact it has very little discussion of penguins at all.

[flerdle] I think Coles' and Woolworth's online shopping could probably do that for you as well. And it would save all the pesky hanging around, chatting, making friends and so on.**

*Full disclosure: I do not actually own a bible.
**cf. Sirius Cybercorp.
Store names
If you said "Cole's" in the U.S., we'd assume it was Kohl's.
[CdM] It's better in the original Greek anyway.
[CdM] I think the delivery charge to the Netherlands would be a little steep though, wouldn't it?
[pen] For the first time in my life I live walking distance from a greengrocer, and it really changes things. Also many other things, including a fish market and a bakery, most of which are even closer and all of which have appeared since we moved into the neighborhood. I may not have to emigrate after all.
preëmpt-o-matic
*waits for CdM to say "I thought in the U.S. 'walking distance' means it's in your garage"*
Hmmm, the flerdle/pen conflation. Muss less common than Dan/Dunx
"Muss"?
Muss try harder
I need celery, radishes and apples. And onions. Anyone fancy a stroll to the groentenwinkel?
[pen] I'm afraid I'm not able to walk across oceans, nor swim them even if Google says I should be able to do such a thing.
despite staying late at work, the shop was still just open at 7 when i got there. I was probably their last customer of the day. Now to make that celery soup...
I love radishes. Much underrated.
I discovered king oyster mushrooms the other day, on a market stall. Never knew they existed. Truly, the earth continues to bring forth wonders.
Mushrooms
[Raak] Though art indeed brave if though tasteth of that most vile fruit of the ground, harvested by the light of the New Moon by debased and foul Tcho-Tchos, who tear them from the curséd soil of Leng - which lieth not fully in this Universe, but doth straddle other, forbidden dimensions across which stride Those Who Shudde Notte Bee, in whose footprints sprout these fungi thou doth prize so highly.
me too
I'm not a fan of mushrooms either.
No Entry
Can't seem to get anything into MCiOS, any game. Anybody else having problems?
[Rosie] Is working for me.
(Raak) Works OK now.
Curioser and curioser
There seems to be some sort of caching problem. I can post there fine, but when I get to the page I posted to from the main page, the post doesn't appear. But if I post again, all the posts show up. It's like the moves are being made properly, but the front page links are pointing to a stale cache.
catching up
Not fond of mushrooms. Or stale caches.
stale mushrooms
I'm not fond of mushrooms either. I wonder if the cache is a good place to grow them - it seems dark and undisturbed in there.
Mushrooms
I like much-maligned mushrooms. Yumptious!
(Phil) Yeah, they're great. I had some with a couple of lamb chops last night.
(Raak) I've noticed that too.
[Phil] When a recipe calls for much-maligned mushrooms, how long should I malign them for?
Mushrooms
[Dan] I generally start with disparaging remarks about the overall quality of their gills, then move on to more targeted insults on the subject of stem length and cap diameter.
That takes from between 2 to four minutes.
Mushrooms
[Dan] With all due respect to Stevie, I'd consider his mushrooms to be simply "maligned", not "much-maligned". I can't repeat here the sort of language I use in their presence, but it makes them sweat like an onion.
F****** mushrooms
(Phil) You don't know how many other people malign mushrooms, or with what intensity. That, of course applies to mushrooms in general, not necessarily Stevie's. On the other hand, Stevie's mushroms may have a flea in their ear from those condemned to pick them.
Not that keen on mushrooms, meself. The taste is OK, but I really don't like the texture.In other news, we don't got flooding yet, nor that much snow. UPdates, Rosie?
(pen) No flooding? Of course not - you take it seriously over there, as you have to. I'd be very surprised if you got any snow but you'll get a load more rain and wind Wednesday and Saturday just as we will and probably worse.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning how to dance in the rain"
... one of my favourite mottos brought to life by "Flippin' Floods in Salisbury"
It's getting rather breezy here, and the school has sent out an email warning that they might have to close if all three routes into the village get flooded.
Nothing yet
Nothing has happened here yet. I have just waved off my dear colleague as she's flying to City Airport this evening (she gets to go to the London training day tomorrow that I wanted to go to but there's only budget for one of us - even though we both need the skills) and I didn't want to tell her there may be turburence*.
*Turburence is what we have called it in our family ever since my parents were warned about it on a flight back from Japan via Hong Kong in 1993.
British Literature is . . . uh???
British Literature is just fine, really. It's the fact that we were in the medieval period that made it so difficult to read. I couldn't understand all that Middle English. The stories were fun when told in modern English. We just had our first test this past Wednesday. I think I did fine.
Chaucer doth tweet
[KS] Do you Twitter? Try following Chaucer on Twitter for a feel of how Middle English works in the modern world. And it's pretty funny too. There's a whole community of Middle English tweeters out there.
Short week
Only four days in the loathsome office this week. Catching the Eurostar to London on Friday morning (Rosendaal>Brussels>London St P) for a wedding on Saturday. Can't wait!
Zzzzz
Awake for 26.5 hours and counting. Probably still at least an hour till I am united with a bed. And it's bloody cold here too (-12C).
Where the hell are you?
Hello Rab! Where are you? Doing the Iditerod race?
Nowt so glamorous
I'm in Denver, at a ridiculously large conference. Just reading the list of session titles makes me want to have a lie down.
Conferences and their ilk.
Unless such things were local I used to delegate our attendance to a staff member. "Here, Fred, there's a do on down in Melbourne. I'd like you to attend (it'll be good experience for you). Knock up a report and get it to me within the week will you?"
I'm afraid that banging around the country with all the bother of transport etc. has never appealed to me. Others seemed to love it. Maybe they saw it as some sort of status thing rather than a tedious chore. That's not a criticism of your winging your way around the world, rab, just a personal opinion of a bloke who could get out of attending the blasted things.
Not at all
In my line of work, the main reason for these things is so that people remember you still exist. If I could do this without 19hr journeys and leaving my family for a week, I would. People sometimes say "you're being paid to do it so quit your moaning" but my view is that travel is a perk only if it's (a) to places you actually want to go and (b) with people you actually want to go with. Work trips rarely count. (That said I do have some good mates at work and sometimes I get to go to agreeable places like Amsterdam or Vienna with them. I tend to be less fastidious about keeping my receipts on such occasions.)
This is getting silly
The A22 is still closed for 3 miles and a further road off it is now closed as workmen with pumps, pipes and sandbags etc try to contain the stream occupying it. Another few weeks, I reckon. Also the water level at this place is now threatening the roads on both sides.
let me out
Back at work after six days of feeling distinctly under par (and a cancelled trip to London for a wedding, boo hoo). Can anyone persuade me of the benefits of being in the office working through a MASSIVE inbox on a beautiful spring day like today?
Bright side?
Reduced risk of early hayfever?
Annual income......
(pen) Pays the bills.
[penelope] Reduced risk of being mistaken for Lindsey Lohan and being crushed by a mob of crazed paparazzi?
Yay!
I have a game in the Google Play store, and it's ad-supported so it's FREE!

Floored!

himpressive
[Giertrud] Cool. I went over for a peek, but will leave it for others to download and play.
In other news... it's another warm and sunny day here in NL. If my Fashion Phenology project is to be relied upon as an indicator of seasonal drift and an early spring, then yesterday's spotting of a woman wearing a pair of white jeans, and today's observation of a student in teeshirt, shorts and sneakers on campus must be recorded. And here is as good a place as any. Have any other Crescenters seen spurious signs of spring?
As of yesterday afternoon, my lawns have stripes.
There's been a strange yellow ball in the sky a lot of the time in the past few days.
[Phil, Raak] This...means something.
But what could it mean?
Yellow balls cause stripes?
talking of exceptional quality...
The pea & honey recipes have been splendid of late. Witty and clever. And they rhyme and scan too. Coo.
[Phil] Yesyesyes, but were UFOs involved?
[Stevie] No, I identified them all as alien spaceships.
Vernal illusions
(pen, penpenult.) It is spring. Must be - there was a frost here last night but now it's a nice 17°C.
Aww pen :(
http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/03/13/the-predictive-results-for-typing-county-into-google/
If we don't shout about it, no-one will come and spoil it.
[Giertrud]
1. Do you always believe what The Poke Says?
2. The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway
3. It's unscientific.
4. Get orf my laaand.
5. Google doesn't cover Wales.
the sprungness of spring
I have stopped wearing bicycle goggles to keep the cold wind out of my eyes, and started wearing them to keep the insects out of my eyes.
(pen) re no. 5 - Thank God for that. (from the Ghetto)
(Giertrud) There y'are - we're the wittiest nation on earth.
(Raak) But does the cold night air know this?
[Pen] Somewhat topically, I had a strange impulse to apply those responses to Tony Benn's five questions to power:

What power have you got?
Do you always believe what The Poke Says?

"Where did you get it from?
The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway

In whose interests do you use it?
It's unscientific.

To whom are you accountable?
Get orf my laaand.

How do we get rid of you?
Google doesn't cover Wales.

I don't know about you but I think that works perfectly.
1. Do you always believe what The Poke Says?
no, I just thought it was silly.
2. The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway
It can be fun to see what comes up, especially when the name also applies to something else.
3. It's unscientific.
duh.
4. Get orf my laaand.
whyyyyyyy?
5. Google doesn't cover Wales.
Try telling that to Google The Powers That Be! (If you told me Bing didn't cover Wales, I'd be more likely to believe it.)
Y Gwgl
(Giertrude) Hmm, maybe they aren't such bastards after all. Should be Gŵgl, of course, but the title won't accept the HTML.
Even with an English International Keyboard setting---but copy-paste worked! "Gŵgl"
I still can't get those characters up there! Only copy-paste works.
Time for some more banter
Does no-one have any more banter? Tonight I have served a late curry to the very busy windy miller, made his sandwiches for tomorrow, watched a lot of lambs being born and slapped about on the telly, tried to catch up with the strategies of William and Eleanor of Aquitaine, and washed up. Tomorrow I will try to write some sense, then dine at the university before attending a marketing masterclass, hoping to learn something. And then it's Friday.
Bantering
Should we now start calling you 'Wednesday's Child', penelope?
Being called a child of any description would be nice.Sadly it's not true. But talking of times gone past, I did make contact yesterday with two people that I hadn't spoken to for almost 20 years; both I met during formative experiences. One I worked with very early in my first newspaper job (which I didn't start unti I was 30, having had another kind of career before that) and one who organised a road trip to the Arctic Circle and beyond that made me realise that I can't bear very much heat on a summer holiday. That realisation has saved me weeks, if not months, of expensive uncomfortableness.
Friday banter
I went to a marketing masterclass last night, all about how to make social media go viral. Turns out that it's an art not a science, and that you can measure and analyse it all you like and be none the wiser, except knowing that you must 'light a lot of fires' and then 'use the right seeding nodes' to get anything that spreads. Oh, and before any of that, have a great product and hire GREAT creatives. </ marketing discussion>
In other news, I have just done a phone interview, bought birthday chocolates for my sister in VT, USA and am looking forward to Lincolnshire plum bread and Lincolnshire Red cheese [special imports] for Breakfast #2 at my desk. Happy Friday, crescenters.
Gobbledegook
I'm worried about you, pen, you're showing distinct signs of succumbing to marketing bollockspeak. And don't let anything go viral; let it stay bacterial and be amenable to antibiotics. Boo-boom.
Re : Gobbledook
Hear bl@@dy hear. I wish to G@d that "social media" had never crawled out from under the carpet.  My status message on Skype says 'I don't have a "mood message", a "wall", or any other so-called "social networking" nonsense -- I have a life !'.
Mood mode
[Neophyte] Got it, dear. But you don't boycott it? On the other hand, I live in a different country ( with a different language) to all of my family and the vast majority of my friends. I work in an international environment which relies on it. My view is the opposite of yours. Oh, and I also have a life.
Re : Mood mode
[Pen] Yes, I boycott it completely. A binding vow of total lifelong abstinence from Twitter, Facebook, and all of their their ilk, and Linkedln only for professional contacts. I am also extremely intolerant, and shout "f*** Twitter" whenever someone on Radio 4 tells me how to contact the programme through that obscene medium. And a similar reaction whenever I read a newspaper article that cites anything containing commercial-at and hash prefixes.
Alexander Graham Bell refused to have a telephone in his workroom so he would not be interrupted. Disliking a new medium of communication is not new.
Hyperconnectivity
My mobile is permanently switched off and nobody, except my next of kin, knows the number. Speak to the answerphone if it's important. When I'm out I'm not at rhe office. Like McCavity I'm just not there. The mobile is for me to ring the RAC if the car conks out.
As for Twatter and F*ckbook nobody expects me to be there so I'm not. Anything significant from it will in the papers/on the radio. I wouldn't say I would never use them but at the moment I simply can't see the point. Let others spout their banalities or make fools of themselves. (Just going to update my MCiOS status).
I never get calls on my mobile either. I use it if the car breaks down (which it never has, yet, touch wood), to find out who has the keys to the mill (and how far away from home they have driven before they remembered they forgot them) and to find out what time the windy miller will be home for dinner so I can time the rice. Occasionally I also use it for shouting at cold callers.
My mobile is largely an SMS-powered remote control for my daughter, and an alarm clock. It's paid for by work, but doesn't scroll up, due to dilapidation.
[Rosie] Outside the MCverse I've never adopted social networking in any substantial way, for reasons of privacy and compartmentalization; it always comes down to an insuperable dichotomy: nothing I could post to the whole world is worth posting, anything worth posting is something for which I'd trim the recipient list first. I've a number of chats of between three to six participants on the go in Skype, some of years standing, but their membership is kind of arrived at kind of organically -- or perhaps the word I want is empirically: each came to exist because it did and has lasted because it has.
(all) This site (and a couple of associated sites) is the nearest I want to get to social networking.
Asocial
[Rosie] Honoured! Any Saharan sand-related weather details for us? I have the dust on my car in NL (but the countryside is dry and they're working on the fields non-stop at the mo*, so it could be North African dust or it could be Zuid Hollandsche dust)
*it smells of cow poo everywhere
(pen) The dust comes down with the rain but you only notice it if the rain is very light as it was here early Monday morning. There was so much dust on my car I actually had to wash it, an event of some rarity. Your car dust must be Saharan. It's been a bit breezy there recently and the atmosphere is highly convective, i.e. it's hot and rises rapidly and the upper winds have brought the dust over Europe. It's a fairly common event but the upper winds have to be right for us to experience it and some light rain helps bring it down.
Cow poo is the least offensive poo smell there is, at least to my nose - I rather like it but then I was an industrial chemist.
the hidden past
[Rosie] Oh I dunno. I find the rather sweet and cloying smell of human primary sludge as it enters the treatment works brings back good memories. For seven years after graduating, I worked as a laboratory technician analysing effluent of all kinds - from abattoirs, vegetable processing, and over one whole summer primary sludge during a BOC trial at what was then the UK's largest sewage treatment works just outside Norwich. My laboratory that summer was a caravan. My samples were mostly black and stinky.
This country usually smells of either poo or celery. Mostly.
I was noticeably hazy yesterday, and people have been mentioning itchy throats etc. I a totally unrelated development, I put new wiper blades on my car yesterday, and the difference in visibility is remarkable!
PS, the own brand sets from Halfords would have been £30 for all three. Ordered Bosch wipers from Euro Car Parts, with free 3 day delivery - £17 the lot. Hence, or otherwise, Halfords is a rip-off!
What ho, wipers!
How are the wipers doing, Phil?
(pen, Phil) Belgium's the place for Wipers. Boo-boom
[pen] Oh, the wipers are glorious. It's like wearing reading glasses for he first time!
[Rosie] Oh dear :)
[penelope] You worked at Trowse Beach? Awesome.
Bits 'n' Bobs
[Phil) Your comment re wipers:
Some many years ago I owned a A.H.Sprite. It was modified. It had a habit of breaking half-shafts every now and then. Fortunately a fellow car club member alerted me to the fact that the half-shaft for the Sprite was the same as that for the A30 (well, I think it was the A30 - memory is a tenuous thing). Anyway, I rang the local supplier and checked the price and obtained the BMC part number for the A30 item. A day or two later I attended the parts place and asked for the price of a Sprite half-shaft and, for future reference, its part number. The two part numbers were identical. The Sprite part was nigh on twice that of that for the A30. Caveat Emptor.
Trowse rings smely bells
[Stevie] That's it.Trowse. And stayed for a couple of months during the week in a lovely ivy-covered and tiny hotel somewhere near Loddon that I can't find on Google Earth. Monsieur le Patron was a Cypriot who used to bring me tea in bed in the mornings.
procrastination was ever the thief of time
I'm trying to write a new standfirst for my article in the next issue of the alumni magazine. It's tough. So I'm faffing about in here instead.
Faff away
(pen) We should be flattered that you have considered deriving inspiration from our musings. Er, what's a standfirst? Is it the head of the queue at a bus-stop or sunnink?
[penelope] And why do the Dutch have a magazine just for aluminium formulations?
unalloyed enjoyment
Standfirst = the meaty chunk of text at the top of the page that gets you salivating to read the whole article.
It's a magazine for all the alumnuses/alumnas/alumni (I try very hard to stop people calling them 'alums') that I hoik together twice a year. Some very clever freelancers write the three or four tricky articles, under the direction of our managing editor, but I write one or two, and pull together all the news pages, and the message from the Dean (in my guise of professorial ventriloquist). It takes bloody ages.
Smugness
Now using my wireless raspberry Pi to make posts. It's triffic. A linux computer no bigger than a packet of fags. The cables take up more room.

The GUI is still flaky though.

raspberries
[Stevie] Impressive. I've never even seen one.
[pen] Are you hinting that the "message from the Dean" is — gasp! — not all his own work?
shhhhh...
I did actually get a list of bullet points to compose into a message this time.
This week, I am mostly writing parts of a booklet to accompany a new professor's inaugural lecture in June. It helps that I find the subject interesting.
May I?
Going to view a house this afternoon. I'd buy it if only for the delphiniums in the garden and the uninterupted view out of the kitchen window across fields, rows of aspens, willows and alders, countryside and rivers to Europoort and the Pernis oil refinery and its flare stacks on the south bank of the Maas/Rijn (Meuse/Rhine), but the windy miller might take a bit more persuading. As many of you know, every time I moved jobs, I moved house (and usually at least 150 miles). He has never moved. Ever. This might be an interesting experience.
aspens!?
I'm glad there are no aspens here. They're so damnably noisy! :)
there are some things...
Blimey I love bacon sandwiches and tea. Sunday breakfast.
I am distressing un-British in my concept of the perfect breakfast. Coffee, really good bread, cold meat/dry sausage, cheese/cream cheese. Optional glass of red wine if it's a late breakfast.
Almost needless to say, I haven't had that breakfast for about 18 years now.
*distressingly
[Phil] Counter with Eggs, Sausage and cheddar on a croissant. Alternatively, four link sausages on a buttered bagel with HP sauce. Dammit, now I'm drooling all down me shirt.
[penelope] Your description of the view cued (unfairly) the following in Mr Brain:
Oh I often take these night-shift walks when the foreman's not around
Turn my back on the cooling stacks and make for open ground
Way out beyond the tank farm fence where the gas flare makes no sound
I forget the stink and I often think back to that eastern town.

Stan Rogers.

Which comes from Northwest Passage, his last and best album.
View the music
[Stevie] Ah.
As it happened, the estate agency used a very talented photographer, and the house was disappointing on many levels, not least the many levels (steps up and down into EVERY room, despite being re-built ten years ago or so). And the spiral staircase was wound so tight it could have fitted into a submarine. Imagine carrying laundry baskets up and down that! So we're re-thinking. And looking at another one in similar location (sans view of the refinery), a better aspect to the garden, but which is the current owners' unfinished project. We were hoping not to have to take on a project, but as the windy miller is a construction project manager by trade and we can't find the ready-to-move-into house that we were hoping for, it seems daft not to take advantage of his talents.
In other news, it's raining.
I always wanted a house with a spiral staircase after seeing The Haunting of Hill House, but in real life they are too narrow for my manly frame.
Viral spiral pancake trial
[Phil] Then unwind the DNA a bit - you can have them as shallow and broad as you like. That's why I was so disappointed that the odd couple selling the house we looked at had decided that no-one with feet larger than size three - and certainly no-one ever carrying a basket of laundry - was every going to attempt to go upstairs.
Mill News In other news, it's national mills weekend in the UK and in the Netherlands this weekend. Can I recommend that you make an effort to visit your local mill, take the tour and buy some flour or a tea towel? (And then go home and make scones, obviously - I can send you a very easy recipe in Dutch or English if you like.) The windy miller's mill (De Korenbloem (Cornflower) in Zonnemaire, Zeeland, if anyone's interested) will be open all day, and the chef from the local restaurant (De Ouwe Smisse - a fab place where all the meat, fish and lobsters are cooked on an open fire) will be making pancakes for visitors in the mill. I think I will be washer-up for the day.
{Stevie] penelope thinks you should unwind the DNA a bit - you can have them as shallow and broad as you like. That's why she was so disappointed that the odd couple selling the house they looked at had decided that no-one with feet larger than size three - and certainly no-one ever carrying a basket of laundry - was ever going to attempt to go upstairs.
Spiral staircases
As a committed fan of staircases (I was looking at stairporn.org yet again on my lunch break yesterday) and a pedant, I would be much happier if they were called "helical staircases", unless the radius does actually increase or decrease as one climbs.
Mill Day - didn't he write bassoon studies?
Alas, there are no working mills in Berkshire.
I hear voices echoing everything I say
*boggles*
Thanks Phil...
Journalese
(Phil) Nonsense! Didn't you know that when "costs are spiralling" they're going up. :-)
Limerick Day
Apparently it is limerick day . . . well, unless in it no longer May 12 where you live . . . But it is here, so, hmmm . . . I shall create a limerick A woman who knew she was blue Said, " 'ello, how do you do?" The children all ran As fast as a van Making her cry, "Oh, boo hoo." I know, it's not great. But, it was quick and fun.
These stupid made-up holidays
I wish were a long-dead past phase.
Every day a new thing!
What will next Tuesday bring
That will fail to amuse or amaze?
Silly Holidays
May 19th is "Boy's Club Day" May 20th is "Be a Millionaire Day" and "Pick Strawberries Day"
It's also Real Bread Week, Gluten-free Week, and National Doughnut Week in the UK. They need to get co-ordinated.
COMBINE ALL THE THINGS!!!!
It's Real Gluten Free Doughnut-Bread Week!!!
Ack
*acks*
I announce The back door is back on and properly sealed to the house with glue that stinks of vinegar but the wooden frame still needs painting and I need some new aluminium screws before I can rehang the storm-door day.
(Stevie) Acetic acid as a solvent should not be allowed - it pongs.
I think it's used as an inhibitor to the setting process more than a solvent, but I agree with you on the niff. The small screw-cap versions are easier to use, less niffy and they stay useable after opening longer than the big tubes used in caulking guns even though they work out three to four times as expensive.
CH3COOH
You may be right; I thought it was just a diluent for benzoyl peroxide. The neat stuff would be a bit hairy, like most peroxides. Bang, Bang!
Egad! You mean I now have an exploding back door?
Hidden text7 seconds of recorded laughter
Must've been exciting to be developing caulk. And those break'n'shake glowsticks - they use acetic acid as a moderator to prevent catastrophic exothermic excursion.

Real science should occasionally explode violently, as I explained to my chemistry teacher.

Woof
(Stevie) Yeah, but not too often and not too big. A work colleague was severely burnt (20%, months off work) after an ether vapour explosion set off by an open tin of lithium aluminium hydride falling into a bucket of water. I'm glad I was in the office.
DIY cascade in the limerick game
Oh yeah...
In other news, it's raining.
Funny, that
It's raining again. In the meantime, we've had a splendidly lovely weekend. (But it was too windy on Saturday to ride me bike, dang)
FFS pen, swear properly. Rain here, too, all day. Temperature 12. Stirring stuff and if anything it's going to get worse tomorrow.
40 mile bike ride in the sun yesterday. 100 miles next weekend.
This sounds so wrong . . .
I don't think it is what she meant, but a friend wrote, " Actually, if you look on the agent orange information sheet it does list illnesses is children."
[KS] Quite so. Other peoples' kids make me sick.
Weekending, anyone?
Weather should be nice this weekend - and friends from England might drop by at the mill. And tonight we're going to the DIY store to buy a new nozzle thingy for the kitchen mixer tap, and possible some screenwash for the car too. Can't wait!
Looking forward to having short grass again tomorrow, although it's going to be an long slog getting there, with 14 days' growth to deal with. I might even give he barbecue a spring clean too. Who knows, I may even take the tree cuttings to the tip at last.
[Phil] A trip to the tip? *jealous* It just doesn't happen here the same way - it's so organised and everything gets taken away. When I was a kid, the tip was a landfill site (actually, that sounds - and is - dreadful) in an old chalk quarry a mile or so out of the town. There was salvage and reclaimed stuff to buy from the backs of various containers - my father often came home with bits of fishing rods from which he would create new fishing rods. We were never allowed to buy anything.
Nice tip
Our tip is just outside Wallingford. Well, it's not ours actually, it's Oxfordshire's, but it's the nearest, and is rather cute and scenic.
[penelope] Your last two sentences, on first reading, had me envisioning a family life predicated on wombling. I realized that you meant that you weren't allowed to buy anything from the tip only after that movie had run to conclusion.
Perhaps more damning, I saw the young penelope as a sort of infant version of Edna the Inebriate Woman wombling across a huge pile of rubbish in a mac with a string belt.
That easn't me
[Stevie] that wasn't me, although when I was a kid there was a scary and batty old woman who lived in a caravan at the tip. She had been a well-educated governess who had worked for some grand European families. Didn't stop her from spitting at cars in town though.
[penelope] Millennium hand and shrimp!
Shut up at the back
So ... if no-one has anything better to do this midsummer's weekend, then come to the village of Zonnemaire in Zeeland where my husband (the windy miller) will be running the mill from 10.00 tomorrow morning Saturday, until 16.00 on Sunday afternoon. ('Free running only - the stones are not yet properly fettled for grinding flour) I will endeavour to have coffee on the go at all times, and it may well be possible to partake of a pancake at 03.00 if you so desire. Other than that, I'll be either sitting in the shade with a laptop writing up a wonderful conference over the past 2 days (Look for the Erasmus Energy Forum), or out on a bike ride, or painting my toenails, or asleep in the car.
penelope said 'fettled' *snigger*.
arr, you've got to give the stones a good fettling afore ye can set them to proper milling
I was going to post a URL to an absolutely rivetting account of improving and modernising the fettling of iron castings in Indian foundries, but it seems that mc5 isn't supporting links.
nowt up wi' fettling
I've used the verb 'to fettle' since I was a pony-mad child, and through my career in international motorsport, which spanned more than a decade. I'm now scared of googling for the definition.
Fettling a fine word
Don't worry, Penelope, I understand perfectly. My little sports car sometimes needs a bit of fettling. Some of that I do myself but mostly, because I don't have the equipment, it goes somewhere where it can be fettled by experts. Perhaps there is some sort of salacious meaning in Stevie's world but, like you, I'm not prepared to check. :)
fettling at fifty
It's the windy miller's 50th birthday this October. My plan is to have his replica Lotus Super7 (which has been stored in a potato warehouse somewhere in our village for at least 7 years - I have never seen it) fettled and back on the road so we can drive to his 50th birthday party in it. I think I've just found someone who can do it for us. Now all I need is the key to the potato warehouse.
fettling?
As a Geordie, "fettle" has a different usage for me. For example "what fettle the day?", meaning "how are you doing today?" and "in good fettle" meaning "in good form/condition" (e.g. Alan Shearer was in good fettle the day he scored a 2nd half hat-trick against Leicester, to win 4-3). I suppose it's quite similar, but I'd not realised it could be used as a verb before.
verbing nouns
There are quite a few nouns that can be verbed, but some that should never undergo that treatment ('leverage', for one). In my job (mostly editing/using English written by non-native speakers) I often find myself making changes that insert the verb of a noun - and I guess it's because it's easy to gather a vocabulary of nouns in a foreign language, but less easy to know which of them can be verbed. From my experience anyway.
Some people get bent out of shape about the "modern" habit of "verbing nouns". I have my own list of hates as you all know, but I had a think about this one, concluded the practice was a *lot* older than anyone usually credits and crossed it off my list.
[pen] KAR120C?
KAR120C
What's that then? (I'm asking you before I ask Google)
KAR120C
The number plate on the eponymous Prisoner's Lotus Super7.
A man of good taste
[Pen] Your windy miller has just shot up my list of admirable Hollanders. Seven years in storage, even with all those eyes watching, is rather off-putting so he drops one position. My car is a similar type. Down here they carry the generic name of 'Clubmans'. Mine is a locally built unit marketed as a 'PRB'.
Not as stupid as I look
[Dujon] Why do you think I married him? ;o)
Personalised plates
If I had the money, I'd buy BDR 529
(Phil) Er, don't geddit. 529 is the square of 23 as any fule kno, and txtspk for 8.55. My own very costly favourite would be I TCH, obviously.
Left a bit, right a bit
[Rosie] You'd avoid 1 TCH I presume?
*forgets to wave from Amsterdam*
NCC-1701
I always wanted a 3rd gen Hiace registered as "Galileo".
[Rosie] The Bluesmobile, as driven by Elwood Blues. The number is actually a reference to the Black Diamond Riders, a bike club in Toronto (home town of Dan Aykroyd), whose clubhouse was at 529 Jarvis St.
[Rosie] N 1 TBN is owned by Chris Jeans, who was head of brass at my kids' old school. He was the guy who played the Flight of the Bumblebee for the Lurpak advert (and was principal 'bone for Grimethorpe, and other bands). His number plate actually has "No. 1 Trombone" in small print at the bottom. He's so modest!
(Phil) I've no doubt he's v good but God, what an egotist. Does someone that good really need to shout so loud?
(pen) I hope you avoided this.
Lord Jeans
Indeed, he does rather rate himself on the web site. He's a much nicer chap in person, although a little Hitchcockesque in his appearance these days!
The denim peer
(Phil) He really does call himself Lord Jeans. Errgh! What an arsehole!
York
(With apologies for cross posting) I find myself and the family in York, the city rather than the former server. I wondered what any Crescenters who know the place might recommend for a family of four children ages 6,9,40 and 41...?
Leveraging your existing vocabulary
[pen] Who says? As Stevie observes, the only thing you achieve with that kind of reactionary thinking is to put yourself on the wrong side of history.   :-)    It's one thing to dislike a usage, or even to shun it in your professional capacity; it is quite another to proscribe it.

A little research suggests that leveraged, at least, has been in established use for more than a century.
(blamelewis) Your parents are scarcely older than my nieces.
Leveraging the ante
[CdM] First, 'levveraging' is so ugly (leeveraging is the lesser of two evils, when uttered) and second, i'm triying to make sure the text is as clear as poss for as many readers of varying fluency (of English and of business jargon, for that's what it is) as poss. There's usually another way to say it. If you want my job, come and try. But for now, I'm in the editor's chair.
Never winter in the Bahamas
[pen] "verbed". You ironied your opening salvo. Well done.
[pen] There is usually another way to say everything. So what? As I said, you're free to make whatever aesthetic judgments you like in your personal or professional capacity. I was merely objecting to your statement that leverage "should never" be used as a verb, even though fluent native English speakers do in fact use it as a verb, and have done so for a long time—in other words, your belief that your particular preference deserves the status of a universal style rule. :-)
Fluent Native English Speakers
Not the Yanks, then.
[CdM] If I wanted to perpetuate the discussion (which I don't - there are much funnier things to talk about), I'd point to the fact that not even Google Chrome's spellchecker recognises 'leveraging'. (Nor does it recognise 'spellchecker' so that's my argument sunked before it's even gottenstarted. So much for trying to stay ahead of the curve when it comes to new languageisms).
Did you hear the first show in the new series of ISIHAC last night? (Now online if you want to catch up)
Oblig. Cross-posting apology
I don't suppose any of you fancy a friendly game of cricket this Sunday afternoon, in idyllic West Berkshire (10 mins from M4 junction 12), versus The Observer. If you, or anyone you know, would like to take part, we have a couple of places available, due to a fixture clash with a 6-a-side tournament. email me at philqjones@carbosynth.com, replacing the q with a dot. ASAP. Cheers.
cricket
Aching from an intense match yesterday. The opposition included a former Middlesex U-19 fast bowler. Very fast! And a former Essex seconds team all-rounder, who hit 139 not out! We are a pub team with an average age of about 45 and I don't think any of us had ever faced such a fast bowler. We tried to bat out for a draw, but failed with 6 overs left once they brought the fast bowler back on against our tail. Most unsporting, what-ho!
Holland?
[penelope, or anyone else] The Dutch football supporters on TV last night appeared to be chanting "Holland! Holland!" That confused me as I thought it as just us that called The Netherlands "Holland". Can someone explain?
[Phil] I think Hollanders call the Netherlands "Holland" for the same reason that Englanders call the UK "England".
Hup Holland Hup!
Because it's football. It's allowed in football apparently, according to Twitter last night while that very boring match was on. 'Holland' (as you probably know) is more accurately North Holland and South Holland, two of the 12 provinces in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. North Holland contains Amsterdam, and the Kingdom of the Netherlands used to be run from Amsterdam - possibly that's it. It's an historical reason.
BTW, Nederlanders call the UK 'Engeland'. All of it. Scotland, Wales and NI too. And on TV news programmes too, probably for exactly the same reasons.
Nederlanders call the UK 'Engeland'
[penelope] By curious coincidence so do Americans. I like encouraging them to say "Wales, England" or "Scotland, England" in their charming accents.
Oh how we laughed...
[Stevie] It works like a charm right up to the point where you try to buy a train ticket to that destination.
(pen) Do you mean to say the Dutch can't pronounce Machynlleth? Whatever next?
[Rosie] Corris Youth Hostel, 1972ish.

Newly arrived party from Oop North: "We just come over th'ill".
Me: Which "thill" was that?
NAPFON: "Cadder Eye-driss"
Me: " It's pronounced 'Cadder ID-riss'. Where did you come from?"
NAPFOM: "Borth! Dornt gu t'Borth!"
Me: "I certainly won't. Where are you headed next?"
NAPFOM: "Muh KIN lith"
Me: "It's pronounced Muh CHIN lith"
NAPFON: "Oh. Right. Ta."
Me: "Don't mention it"

It occurs to me now, having written this down and read it over, that it is just possible that the NAPFON may have misunderstood that last line as a polite response to their thanks, rather than an earnest instruction not to speak the name "Mu CHIN Lith" aloud. Such misunderstandings have been irritatingly frequent in my life.

Scheveningen
I shan't mention it.
Too easy
(pen) "Ch" is guttural and separate from the "s". First "e" short; the others are schwas. Next up - Dwygyfylchi. Dim gŵglio.
Dwygyfylchi
"Diggy-figgy"?
that town on the coast
[Rosie] No. S-[swallow-the-back-of-your-tongue-noise]-ay-ferni-[swallow-the-G]-en. *wink*
(pen) Well, I was nearly right. Nearly, sort of.
(Raak) Close. In Wikipaedia it gives the correct IPA representation then f***s it up completely with an English version and gives the wrong meaning. I don't know what the meaning is except that it's two something-or-others. Dwy ("Doo-ee", but very "back") is the feminine form of dau = "two".

What about Wrotham and Meopham?

Or indeed Gotham and Haugham?
Gotham City
(pen) Goat-em. I knew that anyway but Haugham is a guess. Hoff-em?
'Haffem' - hamlet where me mum and dad lived just before I was born.
So: There was a young lady of Haugham..........
Root-em, Mepp-em, BTW.
New office sport
Bluebottle Tennis. Open the window in your office, and the door at the opposite end of the room. You and your colleague compete to chase the fly out using copies of the alumni magazine and the Annual Report.
Saturday morning giggles
I've just read Phil's brilliant concluder to the latest limerick and laughed out loud. Despite my best efforts to drag the standard down, he's made a classy ending.
Lower the Standard!
[pen] Don't give up!
per severance.
Right folks, the eight-word game is on its last legs. Your suggestions please for something to fill its place. Perchance a Book Club or a Song Book? Or something entirely new? May I suggest 'The Dead Tractor Game' - a brilliant title, but as yet, no strategy, game-plan, purpose or indeed winning move behind it. But I live in the countryside, you know.
I know a joke about someone run over by a tractor... It's not very good. This will, of course, not stop me.
I listen to ISIHAC online from the BBC iPlayer in bed as I fall asleep giggling. This week, it has taken me three nights to get to the end of the programme. I'm still not sure whether or not I have heard the end.
Just thought I'd say "hi" to everyone. I've had a quiet couple of weeks off work to help get my head together a bit. It's been a difficult year so far, and I reached a point where I hit a wall, mentally. I couldn't have asked for better weather during the last fortnight, which has certainly helped chill me out a bit. Back to work again today, part-time for a bit, and feeling a bit shaky, but should survive.
[Phil] Just be kind to yourself. Then you can do the same for others. Hope everything's moving in the right direction.
HAppy August
Last day of work before three weeks of holiday, followed by one day back in the office, then four days in Edinburgh for a conference. Not back to work 'proper' until September. Easy life.
[Phil] Just to echo pen's words and wish you a smooth return to work.
ONe week later...
So it's all a bit quiet. Does anyone want any green beans? We have far more than we can eat. I'm going to leave a table of them out on the street for passers-by to take. On a positive note, we're managing to keep up with the tomatoes, because we eat them at EVERY MEAL. *pip*
Tachyveg
How fast are these tomatoes going?
Tomato Zoom
We've been away for two weeks and got back this morning, Luckily, it has been SO RAINY at home that the tomato plants are still producing. And so are the courgette plants. Does anyone want a marrow?
Edinburgh-bound
I'm in Edinburgh from Tuesday until Friday afternoon, conferencing. Is anyone about? Rab?
*waves from Edinburgh*
*waves from Rotterdam a week later* I've been travelling for so long now, I can't even remember the way around my own kitchen. I'm looking forward to just being at home for a bit. And BTW, I saw His Maj the King of the Netherlands yesterday at the university's official opening of the academic year. And I had a hand in the speech of the retor magnificus too. He wasn't boo-ed off, which was a relief.
I have just seen the Prints of Whales at the Fitzwilliam Museum. I said to hm, "Still not king?", no that doesn't work unless you read it aloud. Prints. Of Whales. Really.
[Raak] I was going to follow up with a song title to do with Diana worrying about Charles' erectile dysfunction, but thought better of it.
Buggerbuggerbugger
[pen] Sorry. I've been neglecting these parts somewhat recently. For about the last three years in fact. I was vaguely aware a visit was imminent. Annoyed at missing it. Poo.
flying scotsvisit
[Rab] No worries. I'm sure we'll path crosses again before too long.
In other news, there has been a British-registered car parked in the driveway of the recently-sold house on the corner for three days now, and the lights in the house are burning in the evenings. I'm trying to keep the kitchen door open when The Archers' theme tune is playing, to give them 'the signal'. Did any of you lot know that an invasion had been planned? This is *so* exciting.
The British neighbours
They have not responded to the 'Barwick Green' signal yet. I actually dreamt I met them last night - and didn't like them. Do I sound obsessed? What I absolutely mustn't do is go round, knock on the door and introduce myself. That would be so not English - they might take me for a foreigner.
Why not take them a lump of coal? You don't have to treat them as Southern English people?
On the other hand, they might be Dutch expats who have returned home.
The suspense is killing me. There's also a Dutch registered car there now. I think Phil might be right. What's wrong with staying in the UK???!
[pen] pots and kettles spring to mind...
Windmills
Incidentally, I discovered on Sunday that I'm only a 30 minute drive from this windmill
Barrel distortion
(Phil) I thought the earth was flat. Well, you know what I mean.
Putting the sails back on
[Phil] Splendid. Great photos too.
Greetins, ye pasty-faced landlubbers.
And what be it to ye, Stevie, y'old brigand?
Arr, Ahoy Black Phil! An I see ye have a firkin o' rum with ye.
Blast! Me cognomen fell of me postin, so it did! Yarr! Me cognomenclature be awash! To the bilge pumps me hearties!
Seven Days and a a bottle of rum
So do y'reckon he's dead, Cap'n? He's been in the cells for a week now and never shouted for any food nor beer...
In other words, no-one has said owt for a week. I'll break the silence. We've bought a house. It only took us three years to find one. I'm thinking of crowd-funding it.
Service announcement
Just to let you know I'm in the process of migrating to a new server, so there will be a short period sometime in the next week or so where you won't be able to post.
Curious...
I seem to have broken the Whoops! button, without having actually done anything. Very odd. Must investigate.
*Shouts down into the cellar where the meter box is* Are you alright in there rab?
Ah, I'd better not post this, then.
Aha
Turns out I just needed to resynch the index. As Neneh Cherry very nearly once sang.
The new server is ready and waiting; I have requested the swap-over to take place on Wednesday. Since this doesn't involve any changes to DNS, everyone should be working with the same copy, but this version will go read-only before this happens so that no moves get lost as the database copy takes place.
Welcome to our new home!
What time is it?
Any better?
Is it properly insulated?
[rab] It looks just the same as the last one. Am I missing something?
No
It's just that all the existing code and database has been moved to a new machine. So it should look exactly the same. Except it's probably about time I did another revamp, if only I had any time to do anything at all, these days.
*is happy that everything looks as it should* I've been out there. It's not pretty. Gawd bless you Morniverse.
Long term parking.
The card-reader car park barriers on campus failed as I was going through them this morning, and I had to wait while they re-booted the system before the barrier lifted and I could get in. When I swiped my card (they charge 1 euro 75 a day for parking, the swines) it showed I had a credit of 9,999 euros on my card. It should be about 37 euros. I wonder...
A week is a long time in Mronington Crescent
Last night in Ikea, the windy miller and I bought two plastic storage boxes, and four new sheets for all the guest beds we're going to have. Looks like the moving process has actually started. *gulp*
[pen] How many self-invited guests will you be able to house?
[Phil] Three standing, two sitting down.
Oops, my mistake - that's the configuration of the gents in the pub. Ummm.. two spare double bedrooms. I aim to have a single in one of those too. Give us a few months to get sorted out, then bring any or all of the Phillettes to sample the beers just over the border in Belgium and see the windy miller's mill in Zeeland.
I'm going in, I may be some time...
While all you Blighty-bound Crescenters are internetless because of the storm, I'm going to make a move in EVERY game. Watch me...
Storm?
What storm?
Storm
Arghsplutterkoffkoffglug! Up scope!

Did someone lose a storm, 'cos I've got one here I don't need.

So you are to blame for that sneaky redirect in the weather coding. Shame on you!
three weeks to go
We move in three weeks. Eeeek. When should I start packing do you think?
Packing it.
You should already be under way, penelope. Having moved a few times yourself you should be aware of that. First are the non-essentials - the things you can do without for a few weeks. Then there's the bits and pieces you dither over - if you are dithering then pack it. The aim is to have everything bundled up or boxed by two days before the move. Keep a couple of plates and a few pieces of cutlery plus bedding and clothing to get you through; these can be bundled up and tossed into the car boot along with any food you are taking with you when you leave. Remember that unpacking can be as much work (if not more) than stowing your stuff so label clearly what's in the boxes as it'll save you lots of time at the other end. Bon voyage. :)
[pen] ASAP, basically. We've moved in 1998, 2000, 2003 (twice), 2004, 2006, 2011, 2012, 2013. It doesn't get easier, as we have more stuff every time we move, but we are better at it. Twice we've done it at a week's notice, which adds to the fun!
I suspect your move might be harder than most due to it being the Windy Miller's first, so good luck!
A moveable feast
[Phil, Duj] I think you're both right. I moved in 1997, 1998 (twice), 1999, 2007 and 2009. I may have forgotten how much I hate it, but I'm so looking forward to the new house. It'll be good in the end. It's perhaps 15 or 16 rungs up the property ladder from our tired old terraced house. Now... how to transplant the sapling hazelnut tree grown from a nut found under a hedge during a picnic while on holiday in Brittany which is hanging onto its leaves. I'm going to start digging a ring around the roots - a bit deeper every few days - so that we can lift it in a couple of weeks.
The tree
Does the new place have more storage space / shed space? if so, you can't go wrong :)
treensplantation
[penelope] good luck with that. Expect the wretched thing to go into shock for two years anyway.
Hard to say about the storage thing. It has fewer cupboards, but more rooms, and it has hidey-holes in the 'berging', the Toblerone-shaped spaces over the eaves created by bedrooms up in the roof. But I'm aware that if I shove box after box into the berging spaces, they might be shuffled so far away from the access hatches that I'll never see them again, and neither will anyone else until the house is eventually demolished. (Oh no. I've just put into words the fear that will become my house-moving nightmare for the next 6 months.) There's also a garage under the house and a big (and properly roofed) space under the massive deck. This morning I gave ALL my money to the solicitor; I don't have a running-away fund any more. Eeek.
[penelope] When facing the same situation (Mrs Stevie packs her ever-growing collection of Xmas Tree Tat into the 'berging' on our hours) I seriously considered installing a small tramway like that used to ferry prisoners through Tom, Dick and Harry.

You could make the rails from wooden 1x1 screwed to plywood bed and run the trucks between them rather in the manner of the Montreal Metro. You make the trucks from plywood or MDF with large non-swivel castors mounted on for wheels. The furthest one away has a stout rope attached to it. To load tat into berging simply add a truck, then pile on tat. When it is full, push the truck down the track and add another. To retrieve tat, pull on the rope to bring trucks back up the line.

Mind you don't make your house fall on its side with all the weight though. You may need to counterbalance the house with lead shot in the gutters.

[penelope] Though you might need to brace the gutters with long poles to prevent them tearing off the house too.
Sounds like a good excuse for flying buttresses to me.
I'm laughing out loud because lead shot has been illegal for years, and we'd only need to weight the house down on one side, because the other side is build off the edge of the dijk. (ie the front door is at road level, but the back door is a floor below, at the bottom of the dijk).
[penelope] *sighs* it is only called lead shot. It is made from less politically harmful materials now to avoid unnecessary hysteria in the unchemist poplace.
Hidden text The only non-fish lethalities ever sustained by lead shot would appear to involve a delivery system based on gunpowder or nitrocellulose and a stout metal tube through which to guide the said lead shot to the lethalee at high speed. The danger posed by lead in massive form has always been more to the politicians than to the public. The only person to have died from a non-paint lead-involved non-shooting in New York was, I believe, a child killed by a falling sash weight. It is left as an exercise for the reader to calculate the cost benefits involved in this nonsense.
I have to say that joining the EC has made of England a land of scaredy-cat weenie runaway sissies. I was lectured last month by someone in the UK offended that I had the audacity to suggest on a forum using acetone as a cleaner for metal, and last year was taken to task for my Hitler-like suggestion that brake fluid would fetch paint off plastic quite effectively.
I clean my glasses with whiteboard cleaner, AKA Isopropyl Alcohol, largely because it's provided free at work. It works a treat. I've been toying with taking it home to try removing some stubborn chewing gum.
Plumbic indiscretions
(Stevie) Yes, metallic lead is not a hazard. My mains water comes through several feet of lead pipe. I've just made a little counterweight for my trombone out of lead from an old car battery which involved melting it and bashing it into shape. It's worth not ingesting lead compunds though and the banning of tetraethyl lead from petrol was a good thing.
I wouldnt't say it was joining the EU that has made us so risk-averse; they have just added an extra layer of absurdity to a process that started about 30 years ago in which we decided to become princesses, or as I prefer it, spoilt wankers. Acetone, BTW is one of the least toxic organic chemicals, comparable with ethanol, i.e you can drink it, preferably diluted.
Apologies
Ummm, that last post from Stevie was from me, and was supposed to be addressed to Stevie. I claim tiredness as my excuse.
Apologies
Umm, that last post from Phil was from me, and was supposed to be addressed to Phil. I claim tiredness as my excuse. *wink*
(Phil, aka Stevie) IPA (chemists' term for isopropyl alcohol) won't shift chewing gum. That stuff is little better than an organic version of Blu-Tak, i.e. resistant to almost anything. Try a blowlamp. This post is from penelope, who has broadened her portfolio, as they say.
Broadened her what?
Actually, for choongum, rub with icecubes until cold and brittle, then take a bloody great hammer and chisel to it.
Bubblegum will often yield to a stint in the deep freeze. Oh, penelope already said that. To keep with the theme of chemical application: Try pouring a little liquid nitrogen on the bubblegum (and anything else your scientific interest in catastrophic failure under cryogenic shock lights upon - pens, fruit esp. grapes, and rubber gloves are classic favorites) and carefully prying it off. Use At Own Risk - not responsible for shattered glasses, pullovers, cricket bats, shoe-soles or whatever.
Weak end
Working my last afternoon before a bunch o' weeks off. I'll be packing boxes, chucking stuff out and MOVING HOUSE! I'm back in the office for three days in the middle before we actually get the keys, but I'm not going to tell anyone about that because I don't want any distractions from writing the Annual Report.If they know I'm here, they send me work to do.
Jolly good limerick...
(Phil) Would you mind if I borrowed your limerick (appropriately cited of course)? The one that begins 'The choirmaster asked for staccato'... I think it would amuse people if placed in the members' newsletter of the choir I'm in.
Limerick snaffling...
[Knobbly] Not at all. I'd be honoured :)
No postings from Penelope. I wonder if she is crouched in her new basement hiding from the vengeful revenant of Bonkers the Clown (aka the Straight-Razor Fiend of Chipperfield's) while clouds of flies spell "GET OUT" on the windows?
Not sure what all that was about...
I'm surrounded by boxes. That's all. We get the keys on Friday 14 November. Please don't tell me tales about scary clowns...
Mrs Stevie and I spent a weekend in a hotel recently on account of it being our 27th wedding anniversary. I suggested we mark the Chateau Stevie bathroom mirror with the words "GET OUT" in soap so it would show up when the Stevieling had a shower. We decided that it would be too mean to scare her this way, as she has a very active imagination. We were split over the alternate plan of writing "CLEAN YOUR ROOM" on the mirror though.
Soap for Windows
[Stevie] So what did you write on the mirror in the end? (And congrats on your anniversary)
Nothing, of course. I'd never do anything to scare her without being there to make it all better afterward (or give her someone to yell at, which amounts to the same thing). I just fake being mean.
(pen) And polish for Google Chrome?
Polish/polish?
The language or to make it shiny?
(Giertrud) The shiny stuff. I wouldn't use lower case for a language though I suppose the French do.
We moved house!
It's bloomin lovely! But... we have two wifi networks, neither of which reach into our bedroom, so I can't listen to Radio 4 in bed any more. Boo.
Luxury! I dream of a house so big that two wifi networks still can't reach all of it! I don't know the technicalities, but is there some sort of relay device that would extend the range?
WDS
...is the buzzword. But Dan is probably yer man for this sort of thing as he always seems to come up with the best solution first time.
[rab] What a nice thing to say. [pen] Depends on the character of the problem. If I were in a big old house with thick old building materials I'd consider powerline adapter/access points, which would obviate the wiring problem and the signal-blocking walls problem and let you put wifi whereever you need it. It's also worth looking at whether the access points you have are up-to-date, as powerful/sensitive as they might be and reasonably sited to where you actually want them, and move/replace as appropriate. I just put in this model, originally intending to mount it in the ceiling central to the house -- there are generally fewer things to get in the way and absorb signal higher up -- but as it's a bungalow it's reaching everything quite well just sitting on a desk in the basement. What's nice about this one is that it projects signal in all directions including above and below, so it's ideal for placing in a ground floor ceiling of a two storey house. But again, I don't know what exactly what problem we're solving here.
I should have mentioned that yes, there are range extenders and they're probably fine, I just have no experience with them because they annoy the purist in me - one radio hop to the wired network ought to be enough for anyone. Plain repeaters are inexpensive and you can just stick one in, but effectively halve your wireless bandwidth. WDS by contrast is a relatively expensive technology which would require you to start from scratch and buy all the units from a single vendor. Again, I'd start by looking at the placement and performance of the ones you have.

And congratulations on moving in! When's the NetherPilg?

Ah yes
I'd forgotten about Powerline.
Crossed wires
Yes, the power line systems work, but . . .
Beware if you have two or three phases for the house supply. It'll most likely cause much frustration should each end of the supposed circuit be on different phases.
Well, I said I'd consider it, there's quite a bit that can go wrong with them; they work best on the same circuit which might rule them out for a given installation; some stop working while an unshielded motor is running, such as a paper shredder or sink disposal or some below-spec appliance. It's usually good to buy from a business with a 30-day unconditional return policy so you can try these things out.

Before going that way the first thing to try is to just move your existing APs, try different channels, fiddling with the antennae, and then move on to testing out more powerful units. Newer 802.11ac units like the one I linked have multiple antennas and beamforming technology and are pretty good at getting a stable connection through walls. That one's Power over Ethernet as well so you don't to position it near a mains socket, though that raises the cost a little more since you need an injector to supply current. (Note also if you ever buy PoE network gear always use an injector that the manufacturer has tested, not whatever's cheap.)

baffled by the science of it
Erm... it's a new house, and has a concrete structure, so there's at least 2 concrete walls/floors between the router (at dijk/road level) and the bedroom (lower floor). I guess we'll have the same problem when I get my top floor office working too. We've got one of the powerline adapter/access points, but I think it's too far away from the router - I need to use another socket. I'll start moving it about later this week when I get time. I don't need an enormous amount of bandwidth downstairs - I only listen to the radio in headphones in bed, that's all. Thanks for all the thinking.... I'll relay it to my technical consultant (aka the windy miller)
I always think new houses should have some accommodation for adding and updating the wiring. I just added ethernet ports in the bedrooms and it was a real pain doing it in a non-destructive, not-unsightly way in this 1915 house. Still don't have a neat way to do it in the living room but since the lazy slobs who installed cable TV for a previous owner just did it by drilling a hole in the hardwood floor, for now I just repurposed that. It's ugly but it's under a cabinet so I can ignore it.
Speaking as a hardwood floor driller of yore, sometimes it is the only way short of removing an entire wall and who needs the walls out at Christmas? The good thing about hardwood is it also comes in dowel form so a hole is only there until the wall has to come out anyway.
But if you don't take the wall out at Christmas how do you get the tree in? I hope you're not suggesting lowering it through the hole in the roof, as that would entail making the hole needlessly large; normally said hole only has to accommodate the tree's upper span.
There Was I, A-Drillin' This 'Ole
And just to show me, today I was required to drill one(1) hole in the exposed soleplate of the living room wall so I could finally address the "no ground connection" issue in the sockets we plan on plugging the brand-new, Mrs Stevie for the use of, 48 inch wide flat screen "smart" TV into.
Hidden textI wonder if that was why the old Philips 27 inch CRT had a bendy picture all these years; do TV electric gubbins use the ground as a reference of some sort? I dunno. At least we no longer have a current carrying ground now I got the supply upgraded and a proper ground installed. The old ground strap used to work loose from the water pipes and it looked like we had an arc welder running down there. What?

Having made several careful calculations and measurements I sat on the basement stairs, carefully located the groundless cable with Mr Hand and felt the extra-long electrician's drill-bit into place (no line of sight, you see) and by dint of swearing and sheer stick-toitiveness I punched a 5/16ths hole one quarter inch away from the skirting board straight through our hardwood floor. Extra poignancy was lent to this fiasco by my only discovering the fact after feeding four feet of wire through the hole and wondering where it was all going as I couldn't see it in the hole I made in the stairwell wall to do all the wire-fu where no-one would see it. I could hear the wire scratching at the wall but couldn't find it through my access hole (which was perfectly aligned with the junction boxes, so one in the win column even if swamped by the floods of incompetence happening all around me).

The anti-handiman spirits are clearly in your pocket Dan. Well played, sir. Well played.

Now, having run sixty feet of green-clad wire from the socket back to the power distribution center

Hidden textI could have lazed-out and run three feet of wire to the nearest circuit with a ground, but then I'd have disconnected that circuit at some point in the future when I'd long forgotten about the TV socket and that would be a juicing waiting in ambush the next time I fiddled with the TV hookup
I'm off out dowel shopping.
'Andy [Mac]Dowel[l]
Clearly the answer is to manufacture flooring with a regular pattern of what appear to be little round inlays but which are in fact pre-installed dowels; when you need a hole you just tap one out.
(Stevie) "Dowel shopping" sounds like a euphemism for some dubious activity. Don't do it.
And the Flat Screen TV c/w HD cable TV hookup and integration into the WiFi has Mrs Stevie smiling and heaping me with compliments and thank-yous in between bouts of binge Netflix-ing.
Next up: re-introducing surround-sound via the miracle of the wireless soundbar and removing to another place of the DVD player that opens only to close before you can load or unload a disc.
[Dan Re: Pre-made knockouts in the floor] Where's the fun in that? More to the point, where's the clear opportunity to deploy The Rule? Admittedly, this time all I got out of it was a couple of new spiral saw bits "needed" to saw out the hole in the sheetrock (actually, I should pull the 66s and 99s on account of me not being able to come up with an alternative method of cutting such a close-fitting hole without serious danger of cutting the cable too. (A lie, I have a small circular saw made out of an angle grinder that would have done almost as good a job while at the same time posing perhaps the greatest hazard to the user I have ever personally seen in a commercially available tool, and that includes the gas-powered chain-saw mounted on a ten foot pole and that never-to-be-sufficiently-damned McCulloch weed-wacker))
If your new TV supports HDMI-CEC it should work well with your Raspberry Pi. I paid more than the price of a Pi just for a CEC dongle for my XBMC box, but boy is it nice, you can use the TV remote for everything and let all the others moulder in a drawer. (You can sort of achieve the same result with a smartphone or tablet, but then you have to use separate apps for the TV and XBMC, the Viera app is pants, and it's really unhandy to slide between screens to get to the various controls.) It helps if your soundbar is also CEC compatible and connected to the ARC port. It means I can turn off the TV and just listen to music streams on the sound bar. (For that I do need to use the tablet or phone.)

Now if only my supposedly fanless HTPC actually ran stably without a fan. Fear to click: my USB fan hack. (The two sticky-up things to the right are external antennas I bodged onto it because the factory wifi was rubbish and if I'm going to have a Linux box next to a window I'll make it an access point so I can listen to streaming radio while snipping things in the garden.)

eh?
Ehndeed.
Sorry, should have prefaced that with "[Stevie]".
[Dan] I was lost at "dowel" ;-)
Integrated System Blues
Well, I need something. The Vizio soundbar has it's own remote (intended to be used to configure it before the Vizio TV remote takes control and of greatest use to turn down the stupid levels of "awesome" factory configured into the sub-woofer) is pathetic and doesn't match the aesthetics of the black-with-colored-buttons of the Sony kit (TV and Disc Player) or the Cablevision (A silver ST:TNG phaser-like affair needed to change the cable channels). I finally got the Sony TV remote to control the soundbar, then realized I needed the cable remote to do that, but in making it recognize the telly (so the on/off button would work) ended up not being able to mute the television sound so it doesn't f*ck-up the surround sound panorama.

It is all very trying and a big argument in favor of buying all one manufacturer's kit (the disc player instantly integrated remote-wise with the telly).

The best picture seems to be with Blu-Ray discs, which look staggeringly good, followed by Netflix and other HD netty content, then HD cable and other signals a distant last place. The picture from all the non-disc sources seems (to me) to have the actors standing like cutouts in front of the backdrop. This is probably a matter of dialing down some factory preset. All the preset "modes" I found were eye-hurtingly bad; too bright (refelcting surfaces flared like Novae), too red, cartoonish sharpness etc. Once I killed the red by about 50%, made the sharpness a tad higher and knocked the shine off it all looked very nice indeed.

Everyone else in the extended family (who are all HD ents veterans) will probably feel the picture isn't colorful enough, but as I said to Mrs Stevie, I can't watch a face that has livid blotches all over it so I'd be grateful if she'd move out of my eye-line so I could see the screen to adjust it.

I was also mizled over the wireless bit of the soundbar, which was only between the sub-woofer and the bar, not to each of the satellite speakers as I had been led to believe.

I imagine watching me trying to buy all this stuff was very like watching the sketch from Not the 9 O'Clock News where Mel Smith tries to buy a gramophone and Rowan Atkinson tries not to sell him one.

What have I started?
Our telly has a "store display mode" which I think just means an obnoxiously bright picture. The thing about this is that, in principle, it is activated by drilling down about eight levels of menus. However there appears to be an undocumented shortcut that is trivial for a three-year old to activate. I wish I knew what it was, and whether this shortcut also deactivates it, because the menus that take you there are all obscurely named and give you the impression you're going to get it to self-destruct.
While we're on the subject...
I'm thinking of getting a new TV to replace my ancient CRT, maybe in the post-pre-Christmas sales. However, my needs are rather specialised. I have no aerial, satellite, cable, or indeed a TV licence, and don't need any of these, as I only use it for watching DVDs. I'd like to also be able to watch video streamed from any of my computers or coming from the internet. What's the simplest way of enabling that, given that the desktop machine is upstairs and the TV is downstairs? Ideally I'd be able to sit downstairs and tap on my iPad or MacBook Pro to make TV stuff happen. Would it just be a matter of having a TV with a wifi connection (do TVs have wifi these days?) and setting it up as a second screen on my laptop (can laptops mount extra displays over wifi?)? Or something else?
In My Recently Experienced Opinion
Smart TV. Switch it on, acquaint it with your network password, wait five minutes while it updates its firmware and Bob's your uncle.

Of course, you'll have to fiddle with the levels to make it look right, but it's pretty much an out of the box and up-and-running experience for something with a computer inside it.

The important thing then becomes how many HDMI holes it has in the back vs. the number of cables you want feeding the thing.

Which in your case is one, but I'd demand two just in case you ever decide you'd like cable TV or whatever.

Cables
The ideal number of cables is zero, but I see there are such things as wifi to HDMI convertors. Presumably these do what the name suggests? A lot of them seem to be tied to specific services.
[Raak] Given that you use OSX and iOS devices I suggest you get the most basic TV that has the picture size and quality you like, and an Apple TV. In addition to having far more and better apps than a 'Smart TV', it will stream pretty much anything from your phone, iPad and Macs.

The trouble with Smart TVs is that they can be pretty poorly maintained when it comes to software updates; a year or two in and they're basically abandonware. The only thing I use mine for (app-wise) is Netflix, because all my servers and things are Linux-based and can't do DRM. And the Netflix app is terrible.

If my home setup were Apple centric (and I didn't develop this sort of thing for fun and profit), the Apple TV would be all I'd get.

[Dan] I've wondered from time to time what the Apple TV is. It looks like the way to go. That will bring to a total of 6 the number of Apple things-with-computers-inside I have.
Having made that endorsement I have to add that every individual option has limitations. Apple TV's is that they have a slightly more old-skool than average walled-garden approach, and their app selection is consequently limited. For example, because they have their own digital video store, they don't support any competing online video rentals like Amazon, for example. But if you want that there's a pretty easy workaround: install the Amazon Instant Video app on your iPad and then stream it to the Apple TV via Airplay.

The reason I recommend it is because you'll be able to access all your content from your various computers -- certainly anything that can be put in iTunes, and that includes movies you rip yourself with third party software like handbrake or source in other ways we won't go into -- and anything that it doesn't provide an app for you can fling at it from one of those devices. And it does have the characteristic Apple virtue that what it does have is less broken than everybody else.

[Dan] I've heard other people talk about Chromecast, and I have even less idea what this does than an Apple TV. Does it play nice with iDevices? Is it any good?and err indeed what does it do? The website is a bit vague
[rab] It's a web streamer you control with an Android device or (to some extent) a chromebook or the chrome browser. Essentially most things you can do on your Android device you can 'cast' to your TV. It's a bit like a dumber Apple TV, one that doesn't have its own onboard apps but just plays what some other device sends it (or tells it to play -- the distinction is blurred).

Depending on whether the app's media type and location is supported by Chromecast, the 'source' device may actually be doing the work of fetching and rendering the material and 'casting' the A/V output to Chromecast, but commonly it's just sending the URL and various tokens and chromecast is doing the actual fetching/decoding.

It's similar to having an Airplay-only device on your TV; bearing in mind that they are similar protocols but not the same nor interchangeable. Its main disadvantage is that it can't play content that's local to your network, so if you have your own movies and things you have to play them on your device and screencast it to chromecast. Which may or may not be well supported and look decent. For several good reasons I'd rather tell the TV-attached gizmo "play this file, which you can find over on that computer", than tie up some other device playing it and throwing the video to the TV. You can do the latter with Apple TV as well, but the thing is you don't have to, at least for any content that's supported by iTunes.

For balance
There's a metric shedload of other ways to do this sort of thing, with various amounts of overlap and wheel reinvention. The Apple TV approach is one I recommend for someone who's already pretty invested in the Apple ecosystem. It's probably the quickest route to maximum versatility without going to a lot of expense or trouble. If you don't have least one iDevice and/or don't want to use iTunes for your local media, getting as complete a solution can be a little more complicated, though not necessarily more expensive and there are a few reasons why it might be worth the trouble.
[Raak] Sorry, I could have sworn I read your post as saying you intended to connect a disc player. Ignore HDMI cabling entirely.
[Stevie] I thought TVs all ran over HDMI these days? I do have a DVD player (other than my computers), but it and the TV are both so old they use SCART.
[Raak] You said you were going with a network-to-TV model. A smart TV will hunt for your network, ask for a password and then present you with whatever app-based interface it uses so you can start consuming content. No wires other than the power cable. You want to push a signal in over a wire, HDMI is the best way (but not usually the only way on a decent TV). You want to take the sound to somewhere it sounds decent (thin tellies mean small speakers, no resonant cavity and crappy sound) use an optical link (over a cable) to a soundbar for the most compact solution. You can buy a receiver later if you decide you need better sound.
I use wired ethernet for my smugsmart TV; no point in saturating the wireless network on a fixed device if you already have an ethernet drop nearby. It came with a separate WiFi USB dongle, which I repurposed on another machine after discovering it was a rather nice dual-band device based on the Atheros chipset. Netflix is all I use the TV's 'smart'ness for; I have played round with using it as a DLNA client but it's not nearly as nice as using the XBMC box.

I ended up buying a matched soundbar from the same vendor (Panasonic Viera), one that uses HDMI and connects to the ARC-enabled port on the TV, which means basically all three gizmos (HTPC+CEC running XBMC, TV and soundbar) can be controlled with just the TV remote. It also means if I turn off the TV and just use the HTPC/XBMC + soundbar for music, the xbmc mobile app can control the speaker volume.

It's all basically as straightforward and usable as it can get. If I were going to buy a Smart TV again I might get a Samsung or Vizio, as there's a Plex app available for both. Which is a whole nother topic. (I don't use Plex myself but it's what I'd recommend to pretty much anyone I didn't recommend Apple TV to, i.e. someone who doesn't have a houseful of predominantly Apple goodies already.)

[Dan] Yeah, but you are clever.

I avoided the price-attractive Vizio after reading a large number of reviews of later models that suffer from persistent random reboot issues. No point in a smart TV that can't be a TV reliably IMO. The picture on my Father-in-Law's Samsung (dumb) TV is outstanding.

I went Sony only because I have a good experience with Sony products, their tech support was rated higher than everyone else's and they offer four HDMI inputs to everyone else's two. It seemed to me that I'd be bunging wires into it from all over the place and better to find I had too many sockets than too few. I'm also familiar with the Sony video family "quirks" and it seemed likely I would have a better time getting the clown out of the picture.

[Stevie] FWIW I think the Plex client is available for Sony TVs as well. What I'm thinking there is that if a chap wanted to get by with just his smart tv plus whatever PC or file server somewhere in the house had all his own perfectly legal, honest media, putting the Plex server software on that PC or NAS would spackle over the crevices. Notably by providing a transcoding DLNA server, because smart TVs usually only handle certain formats and packages.

I think it's better to go with the direct-connected HTPC because transcode-network-decode-display is a lot more bother than just decode-display; but not having a HTPC would be attractive if your Smart TV was actually smart enough to do everything you want, and playing local media in whatever format is a major sticking point.

A New Era In TV Ents
I've been binge-watching the US version of House of Cards and although I loved the original I can't for the life of me understand the vitriolic hate for this one I've heard and read. It is gripping, reasonably faithful in it's plot elements while moving the story believably into the quite different American political model. Kevin Stacy is a very worthy Francis Underwood. Sorry non-lovers, I think the show is well written, well cast and gripping even though I've seen the story once (or thrice) before.
I started a game. If it doesn't seem like a winner, please kill it with my blessing.
Do not feed hallucinogens to the alligators
I just did a Google search for 'do not feed', and got '...hallucinogens to the alligators' as the third result. Now I naturally want to know, why not?
(SM) 'Cos they'll snap your hand off as they go for it. They'll pop anything, those buggers. Helps them alligate, I'm told.
I'm not a big fan of alligation while under the influence of mind-altering drugs.
John Cleese is currently pushing his memoir here and, being the darling of everyone in the media, is popping up all over the place.

Yesterday he was being interviewed on NPR as I was driving home and the interviewer asked about the difference between what people, upon recognizing him, were likely to shout to him in America as opposed to the UK.

His answer was interesting but too long to go into here. It did, however, include a snippet that might allow for much japing should one of us encounter the great man in the future.

He said that often, people would make reference to sketches that he couldn't remember participating in, and he would just smile and nod and say something neutrally agreeable to fake it.

So the next time you see John Cleese, get close, make yourself known (this may involve acting as I know none of you would never slip into nudge-nudge, wink-wink territory normally, being too cool for that nonsense, but the payoff for doing so will, er, pay off) and say something like: "What about that time you were the astronaut lost among the vikings, who all turned out to be women? Talk about funny! I only saw it on DVD, and they blanked the punchline. What was it you said right at the end there, when "Mrs" Eric the Viking Idle showed you "her" buttocks and demanded an autograph?"

I forgot to mention that Cleese claims that the central theme to his work, his personal vision of what makes things funny, is the exasperated lack of understanding of the person trapped in a farcical situation. The parrot shop sketch was his illustration of the point. This is your chance to bring this home.
The hour by hour BBC weather forecast today shows the temperature due to rise from 8º at 11am steadily upwards to 12º at 5am tomorrow. Similar trend for Cambridge and London. How does the temperature keep on rising overnight?
The sun catches fire sometime in the early hours of the morning and rises in the sky, heating the earth. This was explained over at MCiOS I think, a few years ago. At around noon the sun goes "off the boil", the cooling air around it ceases to support its weight and it slowly crashes into the sea for the night. Can't remember who originally explained this. Might have been CdM or Breadmaster. Whoever it was clarified in one paragraph something that so-called "scientists" have failed to explain clearly during my entire life.
Christmas stuff
Don't worry, Raak, it's just Santa breaking in a couple of new reindeer for the Christmas Eve run. :)
Hot nights
(Raak) It happens quite a lot in the UK and higher latutudes. Warm air is being wafted in and its warmth easily obliterates the feeble solar effect at this time of year. There is also no heat loss by radiation with this sort of thing because these airstreams are always cloudy.
I once read something to the effect that the apparent diameter of the sun's disk is just about the same as the light curvature due atmospheric refraction (or is it gravity-bending? that sounds unlikely) when it reaches you at a tangent; with the net effect being that when the sun's disk just touches the horizon it's "really" entirely below it. And it's by this means we know that, like the light in your refrigerator when you close the door, the sun doesn't go out when it falls below the world's edge and everything you've been told otherwise is a damned lie.
[Dan] Take it up with CdM or Breadmaster. But before you do, consider: wouldn't your "width" theory mean that you'd be forever smashing the fridge light bulb in the door? Something about that doesn't ring true.
Can't help I'm afraid but do have a very Happy Christmas wherever you are. _, who is now 3, is already as manic as can be. Not sure how to burn off his energy...
(Dan) True. If you see the sun on the horizon it is geometrically just below it. It adds a few minutes to daylight at each end. It's refraction (strictly, differential refraction) not gravity-bending which would need a mind-bogglingly dense earth. On Venus the refraction is so large the horizon is above horizontal and it looks as if you're living in a bowl. A hot one, 460°C. No oxygen. Occasional showers of sulphuric acid.
(rab) See MCIOS, FUQs.
(Dan, Stevie) Nor the light in the boot of your car.
wearing him out
[rab] Isn't there a version of those ball-throwing arm extensions for dogs that you can get for kids? Alternatively, send him off to an aunt and uncle for the afternoon.
Merry Xmas, all.
Unfortunately the only aunt-uncle combo is based in NZ, so it'd be more than an afternoon...
energetic child
AFAIR playgrounds are good. Choose one with a convenient bench from which to watch. Or join in if you're not self conscious. Something requiring concentration, like Lego can be surprisingly tiring. The best thing is to forget your boring adult lifestyle and simply play all day.
[penelope] I looked everywhere but found no trace of these canine-oriented ball-atlatls you steered rab toward. How would the dog wield such a thing anyway, absent opposable thumbs? What rab needs is a keen, ankle-nipping bull terrier. Half an hour of being chased around the park by the dog will tire the child out nicely, and give him or her a healthy respect for vicious dogs.
Of course, if the dog is too keen there is a chance the plan will backfire as the dog chases you instead of the child.
To help prevent this possibility, soak the child's shoes in bacon grease before releasing the terrier.

Also, to minimize the risk of vigorous shoe-licking instead of ankle-nipping, thrash the dog soundly for five minutes a day with a side of bacon.

This sort of preparation escalation is why children should be avoided in the first place, of course.
kidavoidance
[Stevie] We have managed to do that. We are, however, expert in Unclage and Auntage, with the proviso that the assorted nephews, nieces, godchildren and fledged apprentices repay us by taking us for interesting outings when we are elderly.
monotonic temperatures
[Raak, a while back] Here in Melbourne a couple of years ago we had something like 40 hours (maybe more) of declining temperatures. I forget the details, but it was in the high 30s in the afternoon of Day 1, fell through the night, through all of Day 2, and through the following night. Only in the morning of Day 3 did the temperature start to rise again.
Colder and colder
(CdM) Interesting and unusual that the temperature fell throughout day 2. The wind must have gone from northerly round to south-westerly, but rather gradually.
(pen) Pah! I'm a great-uncle three times over. Avunculissimus!
Inconvenience Snow
Started snowing this morning, around 8-ish. Stopped now (10:20 local time). About 2-3 inches of annoyance scattered all over the place.
(Stevie) I find snow meteorologically interesting but in all other respects a pain in the arse. The roads round here are at full capacity anyway and the slightest disruption (a couple of inches) causes vehicular constipation of a high order. Nothing moves.
Banteration
I say, I say, I say. How about a new game to chivvy things up? A doggerel rhyming doodah? One of those complicated-johnnies that followed a limping pattern? Or maybe a songbook? Ferchrissakes, something, please! I'm really bored in the office this week.
From Dunx's Game Ideas Game
I had a squiz through the Game Ideas Game at Orange-MC, and quite liked this one:
From an idea by one of the Minecraft crew at Mojang:
Epic Job Titles: Fireman, policeman, accountant. These are bland job titles. Why not be an BATTLER OF THE INFERNO instead?
Shall we give that a go?
Truth Director & Exposer (editor & proofreader)
[Simons] Yep.
I have just been out to see Comet Lovejoy.
(Raak) Did you see it? Optical aid? They've never interested me much - I prefer looking at the planets.
Yes, with binoculars. No chance of naked eye with the Moon so close. Even with binoculars, it was just a faint fuzzy blob, no tail visible. I'm assuming it was Lovejoy and not some boring nebula, as it was in the right general area.
(Raak) Not a sky in the cloud, as they say, here at the moment. We've had a bit of snow, not much.
sky
I'm pleasd to report the new house has great potential for skywatching. It's clear tonight and the sky is full of stars. But it's too bloomin' cold to stand out there and look. We have snow every two days and it's been hovering around freezing all week, but sunny, which is nice.
[penelope] That should have gone: "I'm pleased to report that the new house has great potential for skywatching ... on account of there being no roof to speak of on it. Handyman Special indeed."
great potential for skywatching suggests a real estate agent dictionary game.
Seconded
[Stevie] Yes!
Wish me luck.
I've got my annual appraisal in 10 minutes. The process is appalingly oblique and I think I'm supposed to want a promotion. Actually, I'd just like to get more skilled at the job I already do. I don't want to manage anyone. HR stinks.
I hope you came out feeling better than when you went in, penelope.
Managing your staff is fun. All the really difficult problems end up in your lap; lots of coffee (black two sugars) maintains your energy and keeps your brain sharp as well as causing palpitations; sleepless nights and constant worrying about everything and anything prepare you for the worst the world can throw at you; 80% of your time will be spent on trivial staff problems and internecine politics; 10% will involve pointless meetings - internal and external; that leaves 10% for 'proper' work, the stuff that matters. But wait, there's more. Managers don't get paid overtime so are expected to take work home for their attention at night and weekends.
Yes, penelope, I've lived in that world and it's not one which I would like to re-visit. Don't get me wrong though as it was exciting at the time. :)
management schmanagement
[Duj] Thanks for that. In fact it went OK. He's 'pleased'. But it's just such a time-consuming process, and most of it seems to be to give the HR department something to do. (It was only last year that they gave us an online system for booking holiday time - until then we were crossing out squares on big sheets of brown card.)
On the plus side, I'm just about to send in a nomination for our alumni magazine (for what I am editor - not managing editor, mind - but editor - finding the pictures, making sure there's enough news to fill the empty pages left when one of the big star interviews pulls out etc) in the university marketing world's 'academy awards' (Oh how I laughed). I've written most of it already - quite impressed that I only have to add our names to it and get it in the post. Fingers crossed.
Is it spring yet?
I'm still wearing thermal socks.
Not here it ain't
[penelope] Six inches of inconvenience all over the place again this morning. We went out to a friend's house for dinner yesterday and drove back through the snowstorm. I thought that was bad. Almost hit a car when the Steviemobile refused to stop and the car was accelerating between brake pulses - dunno why, could have been a mat caught on the gas pedal or I could have had my foot partially on it I guess, didn't feel like it but it has happened once before that my shoe has hung up on the velocitator and caused imminent trouser spoilage. Luckily I managed to shift into neutral so the brakes could stand a fighting chance of stopping us, which they did. Fortunately the Stevieling had shoveled out the drive before we got home, which is why you have kids in New York.

But all that paled into insignificance next to the drive to work, when I was caught behind two count-em two Toyota RAV4 4x4 Osamamobiles which were such a great option for the snow the drivers wouldn't assay more than 18 miles an hour the entire trip. The Steviemobile is front wheel drive and has traction control and is - yesterday's little moment of terror notwithstanding - great in the snow. I honestly wonder why anyone would buy one of those ugly 4x4 gas-guzzling monstrosities when there is such a better option available that costs about half the price and comes with a SULEV engine to boot.

Bright sunshine here, when it isn't raining. 60 mile bike ride last Sunday. The crosswinds were murder, though.
Snowing. Again.
Scorcher
It's sunny, and 10C (50F). We might have to cut the grass soon.
Gardening
I looked out of the window today and thought "time to get mowing again". It's come round so quickly, but on the plus side: stripes :-)
Griped publicly on Twitter about all the ridiculous Friday the 13th twaddle on official Dutch motoring and weather Twitter accounts today. Then colleague shunts car on the way to work. I put it down to the Dutch being really shitty and impatient drivers who do not understand the wave mechanics of a column of slow-moving traffic. Science wins.
Crash course in quantum mechanics
(pen) If Dutch cars are governed by the laws of wave mechanics they must equally be subject to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and if they know where they are they've simply no idea how fast they're going. An accurate speedo though simply means the satnav won't work and they could be anywhere, Rotterdam, Novosibirsk, Betws-y-coed etc. Science doesn't just win, it tramples you to death.
Where am I, SatNav?
If the answer is 'I don't know', then you're still in the multi-storey carpark. Don't expect any clues about which exit to use to get out to get on the way to your destination. (By the way, don't call it a SatNav in the Netherlands. They have no idea what you're talking about. You have to call it a Tomtom.)
My starter for 10
SO how was everyone's weekend? And what does the week ahead have in store? (Me: deadlines, uncontrolled deadlines, and scheduled ones too)
I attended an online conference about virtual worlds, in a virtual world. I also filed a return for Corporation Tax, for a company that probably shouldn't be set up as the sort of company that pays CT.
There was lots of rugby excitement on Saturday. Three decent walks in the last 3 days (5, 7 and 5 miles respectively). I was given a deadline yesterday morning of "today", which I managed to push back to "tomorrow", which is now today. This is the first time the deadline has been mentioned for work I started 3 or 4 weeks ago. I still have probably 10-16 hours' processing time to complete this morning. Bloody stupid way to communicate deadlines, IMHO.
deaderlings
[Phi;] We've got something similar. We know they knew about it 10 days ago, but only approached us yesterday with incomplete information and a very short deadline during a week when we're trying to finish the alumni magazine. And it's for a commercially valuable product... that they have known about for 10 days. *headdesk*
I'd love the time to walk in the evenings. I managed it a lot last year (only half an hour three times a week and a bike ride on Saturdays) but haven't done it since we moved. Do you take a torch and the dog?
Work Idiocy
Monday So this guy at work ccs me on an E-Mail about how he has gotten permission from one of my 3 bosses to task me to write a script to clean up a filesystem based on some XML that arrives in-theater. Easy-peasy, done.

Tuesday He ccs me on the tail end of an E-Mail chain, the bit where he volunteers me to start programming some ill-defined event-driven horseshirt fired up by a piece of software everyone hates. I point out that the script to be run from the time-based scheduler is simple and moreover, done, although I haven't actually been asked by the aforementioned boss to do the job, that I have no wish to become entwined in the ongoing trainwreck of the software he wants me to start looking at and perhaps I'll just hand off he script to the user department and let them worry the details.

Wednesday another e-mail claiming that whhat is equired is much more complex than a simple script. We do the pantomime "Oh yes/no it is/isn't" thing for a bit. He tells me that he wants a different filesystem cleaning than the one he asked for, and that since it is part of a system I help manage I should just do it.

I refer him to the original mail, point out that the filesystem he's now talking about *is* auto-managed by the software and that the filesystem that keeps filling up with crap and that the users cannot keep down to a managable size is external to our software, was set up by the user for some arcane purpose that even they don't really understand or have any sort of plan for and that's what I was asked to fix and what I have actually, indeed, fixed.

I tell him if he really wants to do what he's asking for today (as opposed to what he wanted on Monday) that the lead time will likely be months and moreover I'll need a proper requirements document stating definitively what needs doing to what for which reason. However, if he really needs his disk to stop overflowing because Irving cannot clean up the crap his team creates, I have a script to do that which has been running in emulation since Monday and even incorporates a bullshirt mail requirement that was snuck in Tuesday.

I'm out tomorrow so a doctor can electrocute me in the name of science. I wonder what Friday will bring?

[pen] I hear all your lights went out in a collapse of civilization in a World Gone Mad. Hope you are unaffected by the imminent breakdown of society and outbreak of cannibalism.
[penelop:] Walking in the dark is wonderful. Last night I went out at 8:50, got back at 10:10 after a 4 mile stroll. I should add that public roads do not a good night-time walk make. I do take a torch and dogs, but there was enough moonlight to render the torch unnecessary for half the walk. I am lucky that I live in the middle of a 'dark-sky' area, which makes night-time wandering more pleasant.
IN the dark
[Stevie] It was Amsterdam where the lights went out - we were fine in Rotterdam and the restaurant menus are still without human flesh.
[Phil] I've been planning my routes. I want some flashy lights for my sleeves, but there's a nice square route around the back of the house - around a complete polder, on dijks all the way - for long summer evenings, and a route around the village for winter ones. It comes back past the chip shop.
[pen] "Chjip shop", surely?
(Stevie) You've got the i and j the wrong way round. You'd better hide from pen - she is mightier than the sword. I'm a bit pissed, actually, and had better go to bed before the bloody sun comes up.
Vampire beer, I presume?
[Rosie] How's the head? And what was the occasions?
[Stevie] Chips is patat in the Netherlands. Not a drop of malt vinegar to be seen anywhere near them, though (nor in the supermarket, come to think of it). But the chip shop is on the dijk, if that makes you happy to have the i-j-k all together in a word. And our address has 'dijk' in it - ours is the first house (a new one, on an old plot) on an old dijk.
The J
[pen, Rosie] No, I was riffing on the apparent fact that in Dutch the letter "j" is pronounced like a "y" (as in Esperanto) and on pen's use of the Dutch spelling of "dyke". In my head the pronunciation "chyip shop" (which is how most English speakers actually say the word in my hearing) became rendered as chjip shop for the 'Allo 'Allo Win.

Putting the j after the i would make the word "chiyp shop", which I can't pronounce yet after five minutes trying without it going "cheep shop", which would be right for Italy but not Holland.

By pure coincidence, I am less than an hour from departing to "The Chip Shop", a UK-style pub on Atlantic Avenue.

The Chip Shop
Which, since it is the heart of Brooklyn, should be spelled "da chip shop". If it were on Lon Gylund it would be "da chip shawp".
Sodding Chipbury
(Stevie) Ah, most erudite. In Scotland, of course, it would be "chups", possibly wuth a wee bi' a "fush" though more likely a Mars Bar.
Incipient alcoholism
(pen) Not really pissed, just a bit loose. Occasion? Hadn't been to the pub for three days, Boozing at home on your own is not actually all that fun.
Chups
Fush and chups in Scotland, or 'feesh and cheeps' according to an Iranian family friend many years ago. We still call them that now. Jeez, I miss feesh and cheeps.
You wanna da fresh an cheep?
When I first came to the usa I lived in Westbury and often ate in The Harvest Diner. I noticed that during the summer all the waiters spoke with Brummie accents and asked one about it. He told me they were all relatives of the owner, who had started his life in the food service trade in a place I wouldn't have I heard of.

Which turned out to be a fish and chip shop less than a mile from my parent's house in Coventry.

Chips
[Stevie] Not Earlsdon, by any chance?
[Phil] No. We lived in Whitmore Park. About here. Track down Chesholme Road (north-wards, downhill) from Rotherham Road to that first cross, which is the rear access entry. We lived on the bottom right corner.
I think it's something to do with age and the approach of a milestone birthday (I was in my thirties when I started in here, y'know). I've sent more critical emails, tweets and FB messages this week than ever before in my life, and some of them were not received well. Too bad. You put it out there on social media , so don't be surprised when it gets a response. I ain't stopping now. That's why the fact that I'm consistently pissed off at someone who is relentlessly unfunny, unskilled and unrhyming and relentlessly sexist in the Limericks game has finally surfaced. I'm not sorry.
Big hug for penelope...
...because I know it will irk you to know that you mistyped "misogynistic".
never irked
[Phil] I'm merely pleased that I allowed you to exercise your inner pedant. :o)
[pen] Bit early in your span for a mid-life crisis innit? Carry on at this rate and you'll either be on serious medication or be in politics by the time you are 35. Nothing on the web is worth a ventricle or major blood-vessel in your head.
Phil has an inner pedant as well??
[CdM] Hahahahaaa! :)
Something that tickled me
I discovered this sentence in a discussion on ending sentences with prepositions. I hope to use it some day.
"What did you bring that book I didn't want to be read to out of up for? "
Can be improved on
(Phil) The book is about Australia, so between up and for insert about Down Under.
[Rosie] Applause.
correction?
[Rosie] shouldn't that go between of and up?
Erratum
(Phil) Yes.
Very nice, but...
...expect Phil's inner pedant to show up any day now to point out that, technically, "Down Under" is a noun phrase rather than a pair of prepositions.
Well, at first I was going to suggest that "down" isn't a preposition, but changed my mind. Both my inner and outer pedants are happily turning a blind eye to the capital letters of "Down" and "Under" too :)
(Phil) I didn't want to arouse the Wrath of Dujon or that of any other Strines.
(CdM) Course it's a noun phrase, my exopedant tells me. The medial- and endo- backups needed no invoking.
The Wrath of Dujon sounds like a title of a Doctor Who from the early Pertwee era. :-)
The Wrath of Dujon
[CdM] I like it, hope they recover the tapes one day. Or it might have been a working title for the second Star Trek movie...
Kirk: "Duuuuuuuujonnnnnn!"
peers around the door
Anyone home?
Quick, while no-one's here...
Palindromes
Oh dear, thanks to the 8 word game, I have a new hobby. I didn't need another one. This morning's effort doesn't make a lot of sense, but I think it could, with a bit of work....
Re-vent some racist sin at a Syria hero. My latino gets EU quest, e.g. on Italy. More hairy satanists. I care most? Never!
more....
I heard a tale recently that Drew Barrymore was asking Johnny Depp about the rumours that Nick Saban, the Alabama football coach, was a fully inducted member of the Mafia, and was operating under an assumed name.
"Drat! Saban a made man, eh? Depp? Answer!" Drew snapped.
He named a man. A bastard!
Anyone rising to the challenge?
I may create a new game on another server in which to write palindromes, but in the meantime, here's another:
Pist now. It's a free beer. Fasting is a sign it's a free beer fast. I won't sip.
Sorry, Phil. Not clever enough for that sort of thing. Well done, btw.
[Phil] O no. O no. O no. O no. Not on. O no. O no. O no. O no.
Sorry, CdM
Conversation between secret agent and Q, when the agent refuses to sign for his new vehicle:
"One man sub? Autogyro?"
"Mr Armory got u a bus. Name?"
"No!"
Q now briefs by SMS?
[Stevie] Yes, m8.
Sorry
As I appear to have killed the chat with palindromes, I take them all back.
[Phil] That last one didn't work. It was gibberish when read backwards.
Scheming bitch
I've just bought a calculator, a rather posh quasi-vintage Hewlett-Packard with RPN, and along with a guide in English is one in French. A calculator in French is une calculatrice which makes the noun obviously feminine but makes the object itself sound feminine as well. To English ears the word sounds like "calculatress" cognate with words like actress, manageress, temptress, goddess etc. A computer though, is un ordinateur not une ordinatrice. Maybe that reflects its attraction for nerds, almost exclusively male.
A calculatrice suggests an intelligent cockatrice to me. Beware the hidden key combination that unleashes its deadly stare.
Briana is Giertrud
Briana: Once there was a sailor Who sailed the seven seas On a ship called the limburger Me: It was stinky cheese! (beat) What do you expect when you say something like that?
The deadly stare
(Raak) It already has one - the display. It's horrible, characters far too narrow and they've re-inserted the crossbar in the noughts which is simply taking retro too far. A bit like fitting coupling rods to an electric locomotive.
Shall we dance?
(Kagome Shuko) Looking at the Games list I'd say we were the only two people in the building.
*drops pin*
Oooooh! Something shiny!
Theatre, Theatre . . .
I have lots of stuff coming up . . . been busy with my theatre stuff mainly, BUT on Tuesday night (Central time) Giertrud and I will be seeing Weird Al in concert!!!
Here, though, game in here, why not?
Add, please . . . Inappropriate Audition Songs . . . Hi, I'll be auditioning for the part of Bruce the Shark in Finding Nemo and I'll be singing "Blood in the Water" from Legally Blonde: The Musical. Annnnd . . . go!!!
Procrastination was ever the thief of time
I am procrastinating like a pro this afternoon, even with a full list of tasks to complete at work. I think I blew all my brain's synapses this morning on a four-hour proof-reading blitz (which needed 10 hours but didn't get it. I guessed that if my eagle eyes didn't spot it on a speed-read, then Joe Average's eyes wouldn't spot it on a normal read-through either.)

Didn't I once read somewhere that fatty food is essential for brain function? Does that mean I can legitimately have cake and chips as part of my recovery?

(pen) You can have chips. Then you can have cake and a cuppa. But not cake and chips. Even I wouldn't do that.
I used to do proof-reading in the Met Office and quite often this would involve reading it out, with punctuation marks, font styles etc, to a colleague who would have another copy. You could put deliberate mistakes in to see if he was still awake. It was technical stuff, published by HMSO and had to be spot on.
Limericks
When I first found this place, everybody was so good at limericks. Have we really forgotten the rhyming pattern and rhythm of limericks? These are the general rules of limericks.
Limerick rules
[KS] That's a rather restrictive definition of Limericks, IMHO. One is not restricted to anapests. Iambs can also be used within a line, as well as in the first foot of each line.
I think it's nice, but not a necessity, that lines 1, 2 and 5 should match. Ditto for 3 and 4.
Also, their 2nd example ("the LIMerick packs LAUGHS anaTOmical") is appalling, as most people I know pronounce "Limerick" as three syllables.
It's worse than that
If you accept that site's made-up rule that 1, 2, and 5 must match in structure, then you have to read the first line of that first limerick as "The LiMErick packs LAUGHS anaTOmical". The second limerick they quote also violates the rule that same rule, while the third limerick rhymes details with emails and females, thus revealing that they don't understand feminine rhymes. All in all, that page is a total fail.
And now...
So does anyone have any news? I've got a university friend + partner coming for the weekend. From England to the Netherlands. On motorbikes. We met in 1985. :o)
News? You want news?!
Ummm, not a lot really, other than what has been declared in "another place". A friend of mine is very p***ed off that today's Tilehurst Festival has been cancelled, due to bad weather. He found out today, despite the decision being made yesterday. He had taken on extra staff to run his cider bar there, and had loaded all the cider on his van at 6am. It's not even raining here, 10 miles away.
Rainy Day Decider.
Bummer, Phil. Here, it's getting clammier and more overcast as we anticipate another humdinger of a belt of thunderstorms passing over at about 4 o'clock (which reminds me - I need to get the washing in). Last night's four-hour lightning and thunder display was incredible - flashes every second or so from all around, torrential rain and hailstorms (although no golf-ball-sized hailstones here to damage the cars as there were in other places in NL). I'm working from home today. It's sluggish, frankly.
three weeks later...
Morning all. Was that heat really three weeks ago? I'm waiting for the thermostat to ping the central heating into action - and making a mental note to get some warmer clothes out of storage. Anyone doing anything interesting this weekend?
[pen] Mrs Phil is planning to watch Dr Who with our grandson on Saturday - which depends on him being permitted to come home from the neonatal unit tomorrow! *fingers crossed*
[pen] After spending today driving a quad bike around Paros, I'll be travelling home over the weekend after a week and a half in the Cyclades. I had a round-numbered birthday in the process.
[Raak] A good friend of mine is in Paros right now. Did you see her?
[CdM] That is quite possible. How would I tell? In the next twenty minutes, before my ferry leaves.
My weekenderation is galleryficating the new house
After 10 months in the new house, we finally put up the first picture rail last night. Today, I'm going to unpack the prints, maps, photographs and paintings I have been collecting over the past 6+ years (some of them were secret purchases and I have spent a ruddy fortune on mounting and framing) in anticipation of having a nice house to hang them in, and the time has come!
Identification problem
[Raak] Well, I assume that she would have been wearing a locket containing a photograph of me, because I assume that is true of all of my female acquaintances.* You know, something along these lines.

*
Hidden text(Actually, I suppose that should be more like 98% of my female acquaintances and 5% of my male acquaintances.)
I must be back in England
I have just seen a gentleman wearing a tweed jacket and a deerstalker cycle past my house. Santorini and Paros were wonderful.
I must be in the Netherlands
A truck pulled into the university just in front of me this morning, but stopped in advance of the car-park barrier. I drove around him, and in my rear view mirror I saw the driver's legs emerge as he jumped down from the cab - he was wearing yellow wooden clogs.
I must be Bill Tidy
(pen) Did he then do a dance?
Do you think it's time to choose a vice-winner in AVMA?
How I spent last night
Photographing this:


Click for bigger.

(Raak) V good. What instrument did you use and at what point in the eclipse was it?
Pentax K-50, with a Russian-made 1000mm catadioptric lens. This was at 03:27, shortly before the most total coverage. I have a few more pics on Facebook. I bought the camera in rather a hurry for this — on Sunday, in fact. It was the only one in the shop that would attach to the Pentax mount on the lens without an adaptor. The body is pillar box red. At least I'll always know which camera is mine. I previously used the lens with a Ricoh film camera for the total eclipse in 1999.
This is what I saw
[Raak] This was precisely the time I woke up and went for a pee and peered out through the bedroom curtains (although it was 04.27 here). I saw this! I stared long and hard, fixing the image in my mind's eye. Over the farmland at the back of our house, it was so still, so starry, so other-worldly. Beautiful photo.
The photo looks markedly different from what I saw at the time through 12 x 40 binocs and with the naked eye. The contrast in the photo is much greater and the moon far redder. I saw a dull yellow-orange moon that was just a little brighter on one side. The eclipse was some way off symmetrical.
It would be interesting to know the exposure, f-number and ISO setting. It would be even more interesting to be on the moon and see the earth with its bright ring.
[Rosie] 1 second exposure, ISO 800. The exif data reports the f-number as 0, which probably means it doesn't know. There's no aperture adjustment or designation on the lens. The lens is 1000mm, but the image is substantially larger on this camera than on my Ricoh KR-10, so the effective focal length may be longer. The original picture is very dim, and the above was derived from the RAW+ file by level correction. The exif reports that auto white balance was on, but I'm not sure if that applies to RAW data or just the JPG, which was too noisy to be useful. Also, the eye doesn't see colours so intensely in the dark, so even a perfectly accurate photograph may look more intense than the reality in the light of day. What would you have seen through binoculars of the same magnification but much larger aperture?
Optical aids
I've looked at a lunar eclipse through my telescope in the past and the moon looks a gloomy translucent orange. The focal length of this home-made contraption is 1276 mm (50.24 in.) and the mirror diameter is 8.3 in. so it's about f/6. With a one-inch eyepiece the magnification is about 50. The moon's diameter was 1776 arcsec which would give an image at the prime focus of 0.43" or 11 mm but it's not adapted for photography so I didn't get it out this time.
If the aperture of the binocs were greatly increased there would be little improvement because then the size of the exit pupil would exceed that of the eye pupil and light would be wasted. You can't increase the surface brightness (per unit area) of any extended object whatever telescope you use visually, but photgraphically that's obviously not the case. The binocs make the moon bigger and easier to study but the surface light variations are the same as with the naked eye.
moonstruck
Innit autumnal?
Autumnatic response.
(pen) Yeah. Trouble is, it's autumn.
[Raak] Dropping in here for the first time in a few weeks, so only just saw your picture. That's stunning.
Anyone about?
Very quiet, innit? Weekend a mere two days away - so what's everyone doing?
Somnolence
(pen) Good question. Both MCiOS and this place seem to have gone to sleep. Where's Gusset Login? I reckon I've won AVMA.
I've just remembered I have a three day weekend. I booked Monday off to use up my annual leave allowance. I'll probably just catch up on toilet cleaning.
(Pen) You sure know how to enjoy yourself...
[Knobbers] Actually it wasn't so bad. The toilets still need cleaning, because instead I went for a long bike ride in the still and sunny weather. We live in the countryside and there are no hills here in the Netherlands so it was lovely.
Cherrapunji Schmerrapunji
Some place in the Lake District has had 358 mm (just over 14") of rain in the last 24 hrs. Provisionally this is a British record. More later!
Floods etc.
Record confirmed. It was at Honister Pass or thereabouts, an Environment Agency gauge.
Sogginess
[Rosie] Cripes. *moves clothes upstairs from below-dijk-level-bedroom*
Happy Parsnips
So it turns out that a risotto is quite a common solution to the post-Christmas veg surplus problem.

Hello, everyone, by the way. Glad to see this place is still going, and that nothing's broken. I've had to do some behind-the-scenes tweaking as it turns out the venerable database library that this whole thing sits on will disappear when I come to upgrade the server OS, so perhaps things will break now. I'm a bit scared when I discover files that haven't been touched for nearly 10 years...

Merry Christmas rab. I hope all is well with Mrs rab and the rabling.
Happy 28th December from me too. BTW, a pilgrimage has been mooted - see the Dunxatorium for the proposed dates.
Happy New Year all. Hope you all have a happy, healthy and peaceful 2016. Got a houseful just settling into the first of the 'Back to the Future' trilogy (I won the box set and a hoodie from the University of Lincoln Facebook page - the big imposter that I am). Hoping for volunteer potato peelers in an hour or so - they will be rewarded with garlic bread, because it's a long time until dinner.
Astonishment
(pen) You won a hoodie? New toyboy then. :-)
Happy New Year, even though I am some hours behind!
Hoodie you think you are?
[Rosie] Nah, just the garment. I don't think the yobbish type wear university hoodies do they?
Depends. Red or blue brick?
Here at the university where where I work, they have made a feature of grey concrete tower blocks. Two buildings of 17 floors and a bunch of others averaging 10 floors clad in concrete biscuit, concrete flaps and concrete-and-glass. It makes looking out nice. Looking in, it looks horrid.
Made it to Thursday
Only more sodding morning 40km commute on wet and windy Dutch motorways bothered by tailgating idiots (which have been Belgian over the past two mornings) and hindered by crashes between those who are too selfish to use indicators or too self-absorbed to keep a packed column of traffic moving by driving SLOWLY and steadily (not by speeding to the back of the queue and stopping dead) or to realise that to join a column of traffic you have to match its speed - it doesn't have to let you in. Out of the seven drives either to or from work this week, only one has been smooth and approximately on time. Every other journey has been held up by stupid accidents. *whinge whinge whinge*
Traffic
[penelope] The moronic desire to get up to highway speed after merging into heavy traffic rates as my number one road rage inducer. I was, of course, spoiled by learning to do high speed merges on the excellently provisioned motorway entrance ramps, and vaguely remember public information commercials on how to merge on motorways. I firmly belive that whatever good road habits my generation have were inculcated by such ubiquitous repetitive TV-served indoctrination.

Dip, don't dazzle. Wear something white at night. Remember to use the Green Cross Code. Regginald Molehusband.

Breaking news
I live south of Rotterdam. One of two motorways heading south from Rotterdam (to Breda and Antwerp, respectively) is, this afternoon, sodding closed again because of a sodding accident. Therefore everyone uses the other sodding motorway. Therefore I can't get on either route south at all, therefore I can't go home until about 7pm when the road is opened again and the jams have dispersed. That makes 87% of journeys this week hindered by idiot drivers crashing into one another. My rage levels are approaching critical.
All white on the night
We had snow here Saturday night, not a lot, an inch and a half and all gone by Sunday afternoon. In beautiful downtown Carshalton it was rain because of the altitude difference, about 450 ft.
Is it okay if I write things like this?
Is it okay
to write like
this?
[Rosie] Ditto. Our village had a sprinkling of snow. Next village east had none, but they're on the Thames, and we're 340ft above them.
@Gietrud

If rtl text works (doesn't here, I admit), that's probably easier.

[Giertrud] I cracked my head on the wall behind the monitor trying to read that. What are you trying to say, dear?
siht ekil gnitirw
!t'nia ti ylreporp pu ti kram nac uoy sselnu toN .oN
Well thank goodness January is nearly over. We've* had miserable news, miserable things have happened, and the weather's been miserable. February is a change, a lot shorter, and comes immediately before March. And I'm heading back to England at the end of Feb for a week with my mum. We're going to explore for grave goods, old things, shopping, good food and wine in Gloucestershire & Monmouthshire. Any recommendations?

* I mean 'we the public of whatever country you're in'

recommendations
[pen] When exploring for grave goods, you need to make sure there is not too much moonlight, that you have good shovels, and the cemetery does not have CCTV security.

(Also, my January was excellent. Perhaps that's the Southern Hemisphere for you. Doing almost no work definitely helped as well.)
a bag marked 'swag'
[CdM] How many cemeteries do you know that have CCTV?
[pen] I thought everywhere in Britain was now blanketed by multiple CCTV cameras.
[CdM] You ain't seen me, right?

(Actually, you won't have seen me on British CCTV. I don't live there.)

Breaking the silence
We're going tractor shopping this weekend. The windy miller wants a vintage tractor to use to power the millstones when there's no wind. Probably a Fergie. Cool huh?
Tractorated.
Got it. A 70-year old tractor in working order. I've never part-owned a tractor before.
Strange attractor
(pen) Pardon my utter ignorance and lack of imagination but how can a tractor power the millstones? Are you going to heave the sails round with it? I'm trying to visualise the setup. You/he could use a diesel generator.
Tractor-assisted Milling
Tsk! It's very simple: You position the tractor appropriately, chock the front wheels securely, and lash it firmly to the windmill superstructure as a backup. Then you jack up the tractor on one side, remove the elevated large rear wheel and fit a tyreless rim in its place.

Once that's done you run a special canvas belt around the hub of the windmill's blades and over the rimless wheel, now doing duty as a pulley. You start the tractor and place a block of concrete or a spare anvil on the brake for the wheel still on the ground, stick the tractor in gear and engage the clutch.

It's then a simple matter of slowly unjacking the tractor until adequate tension on the belt is achieved for the windmill's vanes to begin turning.

(Stevie) Ah!
*drops by with some birthday biscotti*
[Stevie] very close. But you put the sails out of gear and just use the PTO to drive the millstones using the mill's external driveshaft - you know, that thing at incovenient head-height with head-dents in it that sticks out of the outside wall. I can actually drive under it when I do a circuit of the mill to park because I don't have a Land Rover Discovery. The windy miller is currently saving up old socks to tie together to make the drive belt.
[cfm] I hope there's coffee too - you can break your teeth on those things and we're all getting on a bit in here.
Is it someone's birthday?
Gobachev Sings Tractor! Turnip! Buttocks!
Well, one could do it that way I suppose.
Look!
http://mentalfloss.com/article/76561/massive-bouncy-castle-grownups-opened-london
A novel experience
I am being headhunted, for the first time. It would mean a doubling of salary (quadrupling if you take into account that it's full-time and I currently work half time), and a move to civilisation. I won't mention the company, but their top people include several eminent mathematicians and scientists. I'm uncertain about exactly what the job involves, though, and whatever it is, whether I can do it, and well enough to justify the salary. It's also a startup, so I'd have to think about the chances of actually seeing that salary. On the other hand, my accumulated pile of cash plus pension is probably enough to see me out, so I can afford to take risks.

It's the "move to civilisation" part that I'm most attracted by. Let's just say, an intellectually renowned location about half way between where I am and that great metropolis of which it is said that he who tires of it is tired of life.

[Raak] You scored a job in Thetford? Sweet!
Go for it!
[Raak] Congratulations. And go for it!*


*Acceptance of Liability: The foregoing advice is offered without knowledge of (a) the recpient's personal circumstances or preferences or (b) the full and detailed terms of the employment opportunity. The Recipient acknowledges that, should he choose to follow said advice, he does so entirely at his own risk, and absolves the Profferer of any legal responsibility for resultant bankruptcy, misery, and homelessness.
(Raak) So Cambridge United are looking yet again for a manager. Don't touch it. Er, congrats BTW.
Just to clarify, it's just been an initial contact so far. I'm still researching whatever I can find out about the company and what I would actually be doing.
The successful candidate will be tasked with defending company assets in "Awesomeville", our corporate Minecraft world. Must have own pixelated sword.
perishing
Morning folks. Monday morning, wall-to-wall blue skies, a brisk breeze and less than 2C. Two cups of coffee on my desk. Invigorating.
invigorating
A veil of thin stuff high up that I think Rosie would identify as cirrus, but the sun is blazing through it, for a summery 6°C best contemplated from indoors. Still waiting to hear from the city of perspiring dreams whether they're still interested, now they've had time to look up all my papers (and everything else I've ever done online).
[Raak] exciting! But how will you still listen to Alan Partridge on Radio Norwich if you move away?
[pen] There are four radio stations in the world: Radio 3, Radio 4, World Service, and Popular Music. I only listen to the first three.
If you're into canapes that are on the turn, then we've hit the motherlode.*
[Raak] In my house (where it has taken some dedication to find BBC radio stations what with being in another country and everything) Radio 4 as default, Radio 4 Extra sometimes, Radio 3 in headphones at work when I'm not getting on well with writing and also when I'm working at home alone in the house, it's on in the kitchen. I had a short wave radio and used to get the World Service sometimes, but it has even disappeared from that too, hasn't it?
Oh, and Radio 4 on Long Wave in the car on the 40km commute to and from work. It reaches as far as Rotterdam.
*Quote from the Alan Partridge film, Alpha Papa, which I know I will enjoy watching several more times.
I've never been able to get much of anything on shortwave. I remember in my teens listening to World Service on 648 kHz on a home-built radio (Philips Electronic Engineer kit). I could only get the signal in the evenings. The 648 kHz frequency stopped some years back, so I get it on digital now, and online, 24 hours a day. But have you noticed how everything sounds so much more authoritative on medium wave? I remember once listening to the World Service in the early morning, and then turning over to Radio 4 on FM, and thinking how much more solid and reliable the World Service newsreaders sounded. Then I realised I was listening to the same programme on both channels.
Only ever listen to NPR these days. They pimp the BBC World Service sometimes, usually late at night and for a tiny bit each morning.
Confessions of a pleb
(Raak) There's Five Live, on which I listen to a lot of footy but you'd have to threaten me with waterboarding to get me to listen to anything else on that ghastly down-market crap-hole. Otherwise it's 4 or 3. Has to be. BTW it was cirrus - you could see it on satellite pics.
I can also get BBC RAdio Kent on Medium Wave in the car. I'm about to change my car - and I'm dreading getting a car with a radio that doesn't have Long Wave, which is probably going to be the case. If so I'll have to find R4 on t'internet 3G on me phone and plug it into the car's Aux socket
(pen) Unlikely it won't have Long Wave. My banger, a 2002 Peugeot 206, has got it.
Longer
[Rosie] The tendency is for them not to have it now. They have FM, MW and DAB, but no LW. The windy miller's car radio is like that. (for me, it would be reason enough not to buy it...)
Oh well
The company I mentioned earlier has decided to proceed with other candidates, as the recruiter diplomatically put it. Well, it was pleasant to daydream about for a couple of weeks.
[Raak] Their loss. Time to retire to your secret base at the centre of the Earth to plot world domination and vengeance.
Wait for them to topple
[Raak] Wait for the candidate-in-front-of-you's spouse to declare they are moving to another country because he/she has just won a new post there, and then expect the (only slightly apologetic) call back. That's what happened to me.
Cross-posting) Breaking silence to announce that I have finally secured a ticket for a recording of ISIHAC! If anyone else is going to Southend on July 4th, I'll see you there!
May Day
Well, a week after May Day to be precise. We have a lovely burst of late spring heat here in the Netherlands - It's 26C, full sun, light breezes.... And excitement of excitements, the new antique tractor arrives tomorrow.
Enjoy it while you can, penelope, you never know what's about to come over the horizon..
(Dujon) Great shot. Is that in Oz?
owd cloud
[Dujon] Splendid!
[Rosie] Yes. It's a cell approaching from the west - which most storms here do. The shot was taken by my son earlier this year from farther up the mountains from me at around and about the 3,000ft level.
[penelope] I'm glad you liked it. I shall pass on your comment.
Oz
What is it about photos from dahn ander that makes them look so good? A friend just emigrated with family to Sydney and keeps posting pics of wonderful landscapes, exotic wildfowl etc. I've only ever done two days in Melbourne which according to Sydneyites is a near-death experience, so I can't comment.
Green cast
[Bismarck] It's envy.
(Bismarck) Probably the fact that the sun is "always" out and the air is very clean except when there's desert dust.
Ooh err
Summat happened. My finely penned post previewed but disappeared on submission. I'll post again when I have time.
Living dangerously
I have to confess, or brag, that I still listen almost exclusively to Radio 1. Some songs I don't like (e.g. the current number 1), but I'm forever finding new bands and new sounds/styles that I really like. Anyone for Babymetal, the foremost J-Pop/Death metal crossover?
What?
(Phil) How could you? This is what you want.
[Phil] I am now imagining cosplaying as one of the Babymetal girls.
Thanks, Rosie! Another 45 minutes 'wasted'. ;)
All things bright and beautiful
[Bismarck] Many visitors and photographers remark on Australia's "light". The country on three sides is surrounded by lots and lots of water and much of the 'centre' is desert, so Rosie could be right about the clean air.
Exotic flora and fauna? They are to you, but badgers and squirrels are to Australian residents. I used to live about 3Km from my current residence where, particularly in dry periods, kangaroos (probably wallabies) would come out of the bushland next door and wander the streets; you won't find that in all places, though. Likewise with our avian population. Flocks of &$)@&! very noisy sulphur crested cockatoos; parrots; wrens; finches; kookaburras; butcher birds; bower birds (we have a bower in our front garden); whip birds - and quite a few more are regular visitors.
Landscapes are there and it's a largish country so subjects are there for the taking in all their variety. I love this place - I have lived here now for nigh on 61 years so am probably biassed - but make no claims as to its being better than any other country. After all this is a wonderful world (thanks, Louis) and beauty is everywhere if you look, even in England, the country of my birth.;)
Big band etc
[Rosie] Re: your suggestion. Fun to play I'd imagine, but I find it rather dull to listen to these days. Ditto for jazz in general, and anything in which soloists get applauded during the piece. I also don't like most opera; lots of choral music; most "rock" music; especially prog rock; Bon Jovi et al; most musicals.... Actually, I hadn't realised how long the list is, given the amount of music I do like.
[follow-up] All that said, I only like about 6 of the current Top 40 singles.
[Phil] I don't know anything in the top 40 any more. Even I'm surprised by the speed at which this descent into fogeydom has happened. Or perhaps I'm perceiving it the wrong way - perhaps it's the music in the charts that's rubbish and not worth listening to any more. What exacerbates this is
a) Dutch pop music is utterly dire - plaintive autotuned adolescents singing formulaic songs written by someone else. So I don't listen to any lowland stations (except sometimes a Belgian one called 'Nostalgie')
b) I can receive only a very small number of UK radio stations in the car. Absolute Radio plays the same sings as it did in 2004 (when indie-type guitar-based pop music was quite good). Otherwise it's music-free BBC Radio Kent, BBC Five Live or Smooth - which plays almost exclusively music from the US - and I don't understand why.
c) I'm an old fogey.
[pen] If that's the definiton of fogeydom, I ascended to it at about the age of 20... but in fariness I suppose one person's 'formulaic' is another's 'inspired'.
Has anyone been through the full thought experiment of selecting one's own 8 tracks to be stranded on a desert island with?
Fogeydom
(Tuj) 25 in my case. As for Desert Island Discs I'd put a little late 50's pop, a little folk, quite a bit of mainstream jazz and Big Band and some piano pieces by Beethoven and Chopin. Is one allowed non-musical items? If so, I'd include Derek and Clive, top-notch taboo-busting filth. Luxury items a piano and and endless supply of fags.
!fogey
Mrs Phil & I had a moment a year or two ago when we suddenly realised that we might be embarrassing our children (now aged 20 & 18) by knowing about (and critiquing) the likes of Tinie Tempah, Skepta, Clean Bandit, Royal Blood, Slaves etc etc etc, and also listening to R1 in the car while carrying them and their friends. So we asked them. It turns out we couldn't be further from the truth. We are the envy of their friends, who are sick of their parents listening to Heart / Smooth / Classic FM and saying "all modern pop music sounds the same" etc. Which was nice.
I'm very proud to have introduced my children to Clean Bandit, Fidlar, Slaves and Mumford & Sons. I've also fleshed out their musical knowledge with Art of Noise, Bowie, Prince, James Brown, The Colourfield, Coldplay, Faithless and a load of others beyond and between.
I don't go much for all this modern music by the likes of Beethoven and Brahms. Music reached its peak 400 years ago.
Just rediscovering Jethro Tull and filling in the holes in the collection. That follows an intense two and a half month voyage of discovery with Glass Hammer that cost me deep in t' purse. Before Xmas I was collecting and discovering Muse after catching a performance on TV. Before that it was Tangerine Dream on account of all the advice to do so I got. In 1974. And interlaced through it all was an increasing interest in movie soundtracks. The one for The Way is a particularly good find.
Musing
[Stevie] I liked Muse - thinking of them as a 'Queen for the noughties' and went as far as forking out for a ticket to see them at Wembley in 2007 when I still lived close by. And now? I can't tell which song is which. They play fabulously at live shows though. Great performances.
Agree about the Muse comments. The last album was derailed by the absurd drill sergeant ranting parts. But when they are good they are excellent. Glass Hammer are a bit of a puzzler. Chronometree is absolutely hysterical and musically brilliant (a prog-rock concept album about a guy who detects messages in his favorite prog-rock albums teling him to form a cult and await the aliens in a field at which point ... ) and they have a rabid following of prog-crazed "real Glass Hammer" fans, yet of the, what, fifteen albums they put out the first half dozen were completely different to each other and ran the gamut of concept story rock albums drawn from the Mabinogion to a live folk concert recorded in The Prancing Pony. I love that. But the rabids want them to sound like Yes 2.0 all the time.
I never had a Radio 1 period, and it's been largely Radio 3 and my own MP3 collection for the last decade or so. There's the annual pantomime as a quick reference guide to the year's most popular bubblegum songs, and Eurovision for... god knows what.
Muse-ic
The whole Phil clan are Muse fans. We saw their previous tour (about 4 years ago?) at the Arsenal stadium, and it was phenomenal. I know people who made it to this year's O2 show who say it was even better. We pretty much permanently have at least one Muse CD in the car at any one time, and I spent the whole of SUnday's cricket match with various snippets from Origin of Symmetry running around inside my head. It's hard to play a safe forward defensive with Megalomania on the brain.
*stumbles upon an old bookmark*

Hello, world!
Hello, nights! Haven't seen you for days.
[Muse] I've seen Muse four times live. The first was just after the first album release and was without any mega-screens, UFOs, mass crowds etc. To be honest I got bored of them, but the first few albums remain great. [Modern Music] Although I buy modern albums I suspect that they won't be popular with the kids. The latest by Joanna Newsom, Swans, 7shades, PJ Harvey and Katzenjammer have all been making my Mini vibrate recently.
Muse? I've moved on. Star Trek and The Martian soundtracks at work, Van der Graaf Generator on the trains.
(Stevie) Actually it's a dynamo. It's for the lights, or used to be.
[Rosie] Spelled differently, though I didn't really know that until I looked it up. Perhaps there was one of those shifts in reality where I wake up and find the world is pronouncing a word completely differently than they were the night before.
Don't stand under a tree
Nice thunderstorm tonight as I was driving to the pub. Plenty of cloud-cloud lightning and some forky stuff as well. From an elevated point looking NW I could just see clear sky near the horizon at about 1035 pm. Most unusual and only possible with a high cloud-base, which these storms had. And they were shifting, about 50 mph. All over rather quickly.
Lightning over Antwerp
I stood on our back deck late last night watching the lightning flashes illuminate the clouds towering over Antwerp, about 40km to the south of us. We didn't get a lot of weather action last night, but my colleagues are all suffering from lack of sleep caused by constant thunder and lightning last night. And it's awfully black out today, but still about 22-23C.
So, the Queen introduced a new variety of tea, in honour of today's historic vote. It is, of course, called, "English Brexit". Oh... you ask what ingredients? Leaves. Just Leaves.
(Giertrud) Shaddap. We have just made complete arses of ourselves.
(pen) More thunder yesterday. 9 days this month, a record for Hughes Hall (34 years).
thundering
[Rosie] Probably similar here. I'm getting fitter dashing in and out to rescue the washing on the line.
I am still here
Just about
Better than being incomplete ones, I supposie, Rosie!
(Giertrud) One buttock is OK, two is really good, but three!
Sightings of Rab
[Rab] Hello! Do we all need to renew our Mornington Passports? Will there be restricted access to Crescent markets? Will podumes lose value?
[Pen] Will you decide to be English/Welsh or Dutch?
The behaviour of the Head Brexiteers in the aftermath has suggested an ... interesting (in the Chinese sense) scenario: Trump wins the Presidency (of the USA), decides to resign and walk away leaving us in the hands of whoever his running mate is.

I get the strong impression that all the top politicians who were belly-to-belly shouting "Oh yeah?" at each other a few weeks ago were caught like a young boy telling a teacher his term-long project is well under way when in fact he hasn't actually done any work. By the sixth week the lies can't stop because there is now a malfunctioning mental imperative preventing truth yet the do-no-work stance can't be rejected in favour of a work-like-mad-to-make-up-for-lost-time because the same malfunctioning brain is in charge. Lies and laziness are being rewarded in the short term and lightning might burn down the school before the end of term.

Lies
Continuing to lie until it becomes impossible to back out led to this rather odd, and rather gruesome, news story I spotted a few weeks ago.
Brexiteers
Well, now we have a real need for the HHGttG term "beljam".
Helo clouds helo ski
Yeah, I'm feeling a bit lazy. I'm in the middle of a fortnight off, the windy miller and I noodled around the Ardennes and Luxumbourg for a couple of days (ate and drank too much), and we're expecting The American Niece and her boyf in a couple of days, but I'm still doing the same amount of cooking and cleaning as normal. Have I forgotten how to holiday?
Holidays
[pen] Know what you mean, there's always the idea of doing it better yourself, just not at home, which equates to a holiday. This year went B&B&restauranting with Frau Bismarck, the brother in law and the kids in Brittany, just to make sure that no-one had housework. Normally it's a rental as we have several sprogs and that gets expensive. It cost an arm and a leg but achieved the aim. There had been a plan for an invasion of Prague in rental accommodation for the same price, but wife plus sprogs 1 and 2 refused.
Would you be one of the few Dutch families without a camping car?
pas de camping/geen camping
[Bism] The windy miller refuses to camp. I think he did it wrong (ordinary field, earth closet, insects) when he was about 18 and it put him off for life. I love it, have slept in the car and camped and caravanned everywhere (including the arctic circle) but even though I tell him the secret is air mattresses, a campsite with loos and showers, and a good pub for food nearby, he won't listen. And we don't have kids, so we do hotels.
So today, mid-way through our holiday, I am taking pleasure in jam-making (double batch - he keeps buying plums and strawberries from stalls at the side of the road and not eating them, so they get stashed in the freezer), ironing, and hoovering. I would get bored on a beach or watching the world go by at a pavement cafe, wouldn't I?
Luxuryemburg
[pen] You wouldn't be around Larochette, would you? I remember 2 days there in the main hotel with a bunch of grill/barbecue kiosks along the road which did great meals.
I think it's broken
Or you're all asleep. So what's everyone up to?
Helping to make a drum head about 40 inches across. Another will be made in a few weeks to go on the other side of the drum, which itself is about 40 inches deep.
Odaiko head
Casts a critical musician's eye over this project
Never seen a pizza used for this purpose before. Woodna fought ittaby terribly resonant.
pizza punnery
Can't think of a drumming/pizza pun at all. There must be one!
You need pluck
(pen) Music for strings is occasionally marked pizzacato = cheesily.
His syncopation's a pizza work.
[Raak] Why do you need a 40x40 drum? Are you taking up Taiko or planning to serenade the neighbours with the Dies Irae of the Verdi Requiem? (I ask out of professional curiosity as a percussionist)
[Raak] Will the drum be lit from inside?
[Pablo] I've been playing taiko for about 8 years, and right now I'm in the Swiss mountains at a taiko festival. [Stevie] I will see if I can persuade our Benevolent Leader.
[Raak] That explains that then. Taiko in the Swiss mountains? Bit like gamelan in Siberia innit?
This just in: Swiss budget for avalanche precipitation mortars exausted before winter season starts! Government said to be considering alternative approaches to clearing the ski slopes. Film at eleven.
Apologies
Hello. Just performing a server upgrade.
*taps on the glass*
Rab! Good to see you.
Taps on the glass? How big is it FFS?
Screening visitors
[Rosie] Screen. I mean screen.
The Number of the Beast
Do we need a Prime Minister? I don't see why. A Composite one would be far more multi-faceted.
(pen) You take me far too seriously.
[Rosie] Oh no I don't. ;o)
Keraunophilia
Only a feeble one-rumble-and-a-bit-of-rain here last night. Other places not far away have had exuberant electrical displays, crashing thunder and joyously roaring downpours leading to surface water flooding and hazardous driving conditions south of the M4 corridor. So why not the B269? Come on.
(pen) Thank God for that.
Still no rain.
It's cooled down a bit - now 21C or so and 16 at night (which is nice) but we haven't had any decent rain for about 3-4 weeks. even the promised donder en blixem didn't amount to very much, it seemed to swirl around us but dumped very little rain on us.
And I've got new shoes and a new coat and everything, ready for rain and inclement weather.
The obligatory pirate chat
Thar be not much rain in Beds either me hearties!
Heartiness
Arrr, Cap'n, if it be rainin' in yer bed, yer mun ha' left the porthole open again!
Thunder etc
[Rosie] Yes, it was rather damp in Newbury last Thursday evening. I avoided it by 12 miles or so, but watched the lightning from a distance while nervously walking the dog.
The very slow-moving storm finally reached us about 4am, and continued till nearly 6am. The closest lightning strikes were just under a mile away, but were some of the most powerful I've heard. Fortunately, we live on top of a chalk and flint hill, so it drains very rapidly down to the Thames, so the roads were largely OK by 7.30am.
Storms
[Rosie] A couple of weeks ago there was a "gully washer" in Florida the likes of which the world hasn't seen since Mrs Noah smashed a bottle of Manischewitz across the bow of the ark. It only lasted for about 15 minutes but dumped inches of wet. This isn't super-rare in that neck of the woods, but it has been years since I was caught in such sheer amounts of ruined holiday.

The last time was on the causeway connecting Kennedy Spaceport with the mainland. Sea on both sides and lightning poking it periodically. I turned to Mrs Stevie and said "I know you won't like this, what with the Stevieling being in the car, but we have to let those two people on the motorcycle in or they could be killed". I looked over at the bike to see it laid-down and no sign of the riders. They had taken refuge in the ditch. The alligator-infested ditch, which we had been warned many times to keep clear of on account of hungry alligators of a particularly grumpy disposition. Now that is rain.
Civilised weather
I have a soft spot for the rain in Singapore, which turns up for thirty minutes at carefully defined times of the day. Allows one to plan, don'tcherknow.
[Bism] my recollection was of a rainy season that deserved its name. When were you there?
[Sup] You've unmasked me there, only been there once in February, weather was as I described though.
Having a go on the starting handle
Muttering while observing from some convenient bushes
... fine figure of a woman, fine figure ...
Sputters
Are you all looking at my arse?
The windy miller and I are off to the 24-hour Citroen 2CV race at Spa-Francorchamps on Sunday. What fun. Ages since I've been to any motorsport-related (I use the term advisedly) events. It's been nothing but windmills for the past eight years.
Emerging from posteriororitily-induced hypnosis
(pen) For a short period I drove one of those. They can do 60 on the flat. Handling characteristics of a London bus; power of a Sinclair C5.
Trez Veet Duh Say Vays
I think the ones on the track last week had been pimped. Quite a lot. Great fun, free entry, free grandstand seats, disgusting toilets.
The 2CV has an integral toilet?
2WC
[Stevie] IN the Netherlands they are affectionately known as the Citroen Eend or 'duck'. There's also a brand of toilet cleaner in NL and in the UK called 'Toilet Duck' or 'Toilet Eend'. We are truly going round in circles.
Clogbogs
(pen) I get the impression the Dutch are cheerfully lavatorial. Is that a fair assessment?
[Stevie] Not really, not as much as the British. It's a coincidence about the Duck thing - it's a Europe-wide name for the toilet cleaner because of the shape of the neck of the bottle. Now I'm trying to identify the Dutch sense of humour...
[pen] The boy with his finger in the dike points* the way to the Dutch sense of humour, I think.

* Ahahahahaha
2CV
Not seeing the connection between the bottle-bank on wheels and a duck, myself.
Automotive
Depends on your stance. The Ka was nicknamed "Flea" in Germany (they seem to have an insect fixation), the Multipla was the "coffee pot" in France (probably could be exchanged for one after ten thou miles), not too sure about the resemblance either.
NL-humor
[pen] My recollection of Dutch humour was that they gave you very fair warning of an imminent joke, often some days in advance, allowing one to take cover. Is it still like that?
2CV
Our Finnish friends, who owned an underpowered 2CV, used to refer to it as the 'un cheval'.
appearances can be deceptive
[Superman] I get the 'flea' moniker and the coffee-pot (I'm thinking of a Bialetti stove-top espresso maker - does that make me one of the 'liberal elite'?) but it does take time for objects to earn an affectionate nickname, doesn't it?
And as for slow-simmering Dutch jokes, I haven't actually noticed any, probably because I don't work with enough Dutch people for the technique to gain critical mass. They're not without a sense of humour, but because mine relies on wordplay (most often) then there's a gap that isn't often bridged.
Venereal apparition
Translunary apophthegm
As before
I had asked if anyone had seen Venus low in the SW around sunset but for some reason the question didn't appear. Well? The moon's there now as well.
Venus in Firs
[Rosie] I have seen it peeping through the trees the last few chilly nights.
Armless pursuit
(Boolbar) Bright, innit. You can see it in broad daylight with binocs and even with the naked eye under the most favourable conditions.
Venusian lunacy
Is it the thing shining diretly under the new moon right now? I can see it from the sofa. It's going to be a chilly one tonight.
(pen) It is, or was. The moon moves on, unlike Ars?ne Wenger. Venus gets higher and higher until mid February. Cue UFO reports.
Why has my carefully crafted grave accent come out as a question mark?
Jupiter beaming at me this morning. Still visible as the sun was lurking just over the horizon. [Rosie] Try using the html string &egrave;
[Rosie] I dunno, but I wish you'd stop ending every question with an 'e' sporting a jaunty grave accent.
(Boolbar) Normally alt0232 works but not this time. Something is slightly amiss because on doing "Preview" the text disappeared from the box and after several severe blows with a club hammer this is what came up. ??? lad.
It's done it again. I dunno.
alt0232
[Rosie] I never use that because absent a numeric key pad I have to use the numbers up top and it dun't wurk. Boolbar's suggestion should work as it is broswer rendering character set immune (a quick test: è).
It could be the preview is furging it all up. (quick test with preview: è).
So preview can't bugger up the HTML entity. Let's try with the number (quick test:
Egad!
? j?? ??p? th? ?h?r?ct?r? İ ⱳā?ẗ.
è é ë
These characters created via &egrave; &eacute; &euml;, as recommended by Boolbar.
Lacking content
Testing, testing.
Well, that works, as does the Preview. Let's try this: Tèsting, tèsting. That previews OK but only by using Boolbar's method. On MCIOS both systems work. Why dat den?
MCiOS v mc5
[Rosie] Differences in how the moves are stored I guess. Unicode and code pages are a bugger.
Free lunches
Yesterday's free lunch came with a Christmas box (containing wine and cashew nuts) plus a step-counter that counts randomly but no food because the queues were too long, full of people queuing for their free lunch, and I decided it was a better idea to eat lunch at my desk.
Today's free lunch is hosted by the research institute and is on the 17th floor so at least there'll be a fabulous view while queueing. University life, eh?
Just my view.
Your comment takes me back a bit, penelope. The pinnacle of my banking career was working on the twentieth floor as manager of the customer services department. My office was on the north side of the building - which was situated on one of the high points of Sydney's CBD - and had an absolutely gorgeous outlook across and along Sydney Harbour (Port Jackson) from The Bridge and The Opera House out to the heads. Unfortunately, other than the odd glimpse of the view, it was impossible to properly enjoy it as I was just too busy. :(
Lunch with a view
Today's free lunch had no view (windowless hall), a short speech and very long queues. But an interesting walk there and back that included some of the busy Nieuwe Maas river and the old water tower from 1873. I'm really not in the mood for any more free lunches.
[Duj] Wow.
Viewlessness
Ey up pen, so Dutch architects can deliberately design a building with no windows on the seventeenth floor?
[Bismarck] I think she is cramming in more free lunches than you realise, even though there is no such thing.
forced smile day
So, our Secret santa presents get dished out later today, while we munch on mince pies. Apparently we're supposed to wear Christmas jumpers too. I feel like Marvin today.
Forced jollity
[Phil] I hear you. Ugh. Forced jollity brings out the obstreperous teenager in me.
Lunch Update - There is no free lunch today. I made corned beef and brinjal pickle sandwiches, and I've already eaten half of them (it's 10.30am).
Free lunch anomaly
[Boolbar] I suspect the quantum representation of free lunches permits the improbable occasionally, given the number of lunches consumed daily. Though according to pen normality was restored today.
Today's free lunch
Not so much a free lunch as the promise of cake and coffee during an open afternoon - a 'come and have a look' kind of affair - at the windy miller's business' new offices. Next door to Ikea...
Can I guess where the office furniture came from?
[pen] A flat-packed lunch?
Listening to everyone bitch about unacceptably something free lunches and having to endure the unspeakable horrors of Christmas jollity at work for one day reminds me why I got out while the going was good back in '84. What a bunch of whining whiny whiners.
Open season
[Phil], Secret Santas are agents of the devil. It's OK to impale them, or just any random person if you can't work out who bought you that pair of yellow socks.
Secret Santa
<*mutters*> Yellow toe socks for Bismark. Filled with coal.
whineless
The only problem is all these lunches take time that I don't have. They break my thinking when I could be usefully engaged writing webpages or brochures or news ot other stuff. Luckily it was back to just half an hour today.
OOoh yellow socks filled with coal! Great idea!
[penelope] So don't go. I'm not seeing the problem here.
Yazoooooo
[Stevie] Unthinkable. Awards, year summaries, need to be seen to be joining in, stuff like that.
[penelope] I never do. I've opted out of three "official" parties (all that required cashmoney up front, admittedly - in the USA There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch) this week alone so I can go across town to an English-style boozer instead. If I'm going to spend money it's going on booze'n'pie'n'chips, not soft drinks, canapes and a variety of ethnic foods that I can't bear to even smell let alone eat. And why pretend to like people who have trouble sharing a conference room with one without snarling three hundred and sixty four days of the year?
Damn near missed my "Ten Years In, Congrats You're Vested" certificate ceremony too. Only went to say thanks to and shake the hand of the outgoing deputy commish who got me the gig.
 Merry Christmas everyone at MC
Almost every present I had is either red wine or chocolate. Merry Christmas to you all (hic) and a yummy New Year.
Merry Christmas, though for your time zone I am a bit late.
(Giertrud) Central Standard Time? 6 hours then. The thing about Britain in December, you may or may not know, is the sheer gloom of a cloudy afternoon, i.e. most of them. It can be pretty well dark at 4 pm.
[Rosie] I took it that Giertrude was in fact undead, possibly a Zombie but one shouldn't discount the vampire option just because the fad has faded, and is now ravaging the living in your area.
(Stevie) Nothing ravages Warlingham, not even the Lib Dems.
Happy New Year
Hmmm... odd. Sorry I keep dipping out, I've only just noticed Rosie's comment about accents, and am investigating.
Test
Tést.
T?st.
Aha! Right, I know what to work with...
Tert
Tért
Ok, that looks a little better now. It looks like you can enter fünn¥ chårac†ers right at the kéybøard... although I don't know quite why.

[Rosie] Your question "Why does it work at MCiOS and not here?" has the very simple answer: "Dan is a much better programmer than me."

Gonna try a tert
In this room it's 21°C. The Welsh for Snowdon is Yr Ŵyddfa. Good enough. You're an excellent programmer, rab.
Terting terting
I could do with a holiday. I'm fed up of being on the road to work before the sun even comes up!
Things that are like other things
I have unblocked a drain. The satisfaction of seeing the washbasin suddenly empty freely is curiously alike to that of a really satisfying bowel movement.
Getting things moving
I'm having a clear-out... of the cupboard in my office, which I have never used, but lots of other people have, aince 2007, apparently. It's all going in the bin. My to-do list is limited this week (everyone seems to have taken an extra week off work, and as I'm the one they ask to work on their documents at the final stage then there's a lull until they all come back to work - which, judging by this morning's traffic jams and 20mph average speed on the all-motorway route to work, was this morning. Pffft.
Terminology
don't you mean 30km/h, pen?
Pedantry
32 km/h (approximately).
I mean too bloody slow
Whatevs.
Commuting questions
[pen] Do you car-share? Are you aware of its benefits? Driver or passenger? Would you prefer [Software]or [Rosie]? Are you going my way?
A car-share from nowhere
Whlle the Netherlands is pretty well set up with lots of carpool parking spaces adjacent to nearly every motorway junction, we've chosen to live just out of the usual commuting range for Rotterdam - south of the river, mate. (That's the Haringvliet). Our rural idyll means there's no-one nearby who works where I do, nor the hours I do. In fact, very few people live outside of the city. They think I'm weird.
(Bismarck) Car-sharing is a form of torture. I'd rather travel in a packed rush-hour train where anonymity rules and talking is taboo anyway. But in your own car that cannot hold. Anyone who spoke would be immediately shot. Of course this only applies to work journeys. Anything else - well, jump in.
Well f*ck y** and *v*ry*ne els* on th* ro*d.
I think my swearing at other drivers would quickly put anyone else off car sharing with me. Sometimes even I'm shocked at the foulness of it. The weekly offer in Aldi this week is a dashcam, and I considered buying one for a moment, before realising that it would mean my expletive-laden judgements would be there for all to hear.
Sweary Mary
(pen) My oaths are briefer than yours and I find myself thinking "you use that word too much."
My briefs are oather than yours.
[Rosie] Pants to that.
Dashcam
Why not use a dashcam but speak in mock Russian? Youtoob fail videos are twice as funny with someone shrieking "Smirnoff spetznatz gorky!" just as the four articulated trucks up ahead disintegrate into their component parts and show you that while you thought the traffic was doing around 50mph from the footage it is actually moving somewhere in the region of 110. In deep snow. In a near blizzard.

You could publish the footage as The Perils of Penelope Somewhere In Europe.

Pay per view
[Stevie] What a spiffing idea. I just need some friends to cause distractions along the route to work, thus causing a regular supply of accidents, as you suggest.
Log off
(Stevie) I like the ones where a colossally overloaded trailer of timber starts swinging from side to side then over it goes and the whole f****** issue lands in the ditch. Yes, I too am a time-waster.
(pen - ult) Oather than mine? Shurely not.
Dashing Cam
[pen] I don't see the need to contrive accidents. Annecdotal evidence suggests that the minute you turn on your dashcam some idiot will drive a tank across the highway narrowly missing you, or swerve in front of you with an unfeasible load of matresses and haybales lashed to his roof with lamentably poor knotwork.

Put in a rear dashcam and enjoy the immediate onslaught of cyclclists and motorbikers so caught up in the moment they have forgotten how perspective works.

For a few tens of pounds outlay I can visualize a time when your Yootoob channel brings in six figures from advertising, more than paying for the inevitable dent-knocking-outery and door replacement. Just remember to yell "Kremlin matryoshka gorbachev!" as you weave around the haybales and collide with one of those tricycle ice-cream things and it will all be gravy.

I've been working on an idea to lighten the mood when traffic accidents occur. Nothing sours the situation more than getting punched by an angry person with whom you have just collided at speed. I think the whole mood can be de-escalated by the addition of a proximity-triggered klaxon fitted behind the front grill that can scream "YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaa!" as you swan into a Smart car or someone's BMW and give everyone's airbags and seat-belts a good work-out. I got the idea after listening to I Want My Baby Back from Kenny Everett's World's Worst Record.
Time Wasting
[Rosie] Time spent watching overloaded cranes falling over or trucks drive under an overhead obstruction with the bed raised is not deducted form one's life span. In fact, I encourage such behaviour if only to counter those times spent trying to get a human being to intervene 'twixt you and the government (eg to sell you a new road tax disc) after which one tends to sag against the nearest bar and utter such truisms as "there's four hours I'll never get back".
Accidentally on purpose
Hook up your reversing camera to a large screen attached to the rear windscreen. Should cause endless fun.
Screen test
I'm confused - facing out or facing in?
TWTWTW
What a bloody week. I don't want to look back at it.
Sadism
(Stevie) Is there any life deduction for watching leopards strangle warthogs prior to enjoying a tasty meal or watching hyenas ripping chunks out of a buffalo which only gives up when a considerable part of its inside has been removed. Incidentally, the word warthog looks Welsh to me and I always mutter it to myself as if it were. After all there is a genuine Welsh word arthog (short open "a", lightly trilled "r", "th" as in English) meaning bear-like and with the same figurative meaning as in English, i.e. bad-tempered. The plural of warthog would probably be warthogion though warthogoedd or warthogydd are possibilities. It's unlikely to be regular (warthogau).
Grizzly stuff.
There was nothing banging about Arthog last time I visited (probably early '50s) even vaguely resembling a bear. Perhaps a hill or the (very few) local residents presented a somewhat ursine appearance.
Wouldn't a Warthogion be a collection of Warthog folktales?
Alight here if you can bear it
(Dujon) You must have missed the station which only existed because of the nearby touristy Arthog Hall. There is a steam engine named after it (No. 6993 if you must know) and I suspect the big brass nameplate is hanging up somewhere in the building.
(Stevie) Yeah, I like that.
Station staff
No, I didn't miss the station, Rosie, as that is where I stayed for a week. Well, in the siding, in a camping coach. A staff-controlled single line that wended its way up the valley to who-knows-where, the whistle echoing off and around the hills, a mist hiding the already hidden places; a child's paradise. Geez I'm getting old. ;)
Rosie - how deep'n' desperate is this freezing easterly going to be? Wind is picking up here, and temp is dropping... (according to the neightbour over the road, whose weather station Tweets every couple of hours).
(Dujon) The line went to Dolgellau then up the hill and down again to Bala, Llangollen and joined the main line at Ruabon. Ten-coach holiday trains with two smallish engines laboured mightily up the bank. The line closed in 1965 but parts of it have been reopened under preservation with unrealistically clean shiny engines and a dismal speed restriction (25 mph).
(pen) Deep'n' desperate? Not very. Not for an easterly in February but it'll probably last a week. Not much snow if any. I'm not looking forward to it either.
It couldn't get more miserable here, weatherwise. Deep grey gloom, and temperatures hovering just under freezing. And I think I've just witnessed the stripping of my UK pension by a bunch of unprincipled Westminster turncoats. Bastards the lot of them.
Inclemency, poverty
(pen) Same weather here only one degree warmer. Light drizzle, mist and gloom. Lovely! Bad about your pension. Stay where you are though because 29% of Britons support Trump, further evidence of our widespread knuckle-scraping ignorance. If I were younger I'd seriously consider moving somewhere a little more at ease with itself.
Snow
And lots of it. Stayed home sick. Really sick, but no-one will believe me.
Weather
Howling winds making everyone in the house nervous. Outside the house the wind is picking up too. Still snowing. 7 inches or so so far, but it has drifted halfway up the front door.
Doris
Yesterday's storm was interesting. I took a trip there and back across the Oude Maas river by water taxi at the height of her gustiness. Our original choice of dock was too exposed to wind and waves for it to pick us up safely, so we had to walk a bit further up to a calmer one. Exhilarating.
Nomenclature
How can they call a storm Doris? It's a genteel upper middle-class name from the 20's. My piano teacher as a kid was called Doris, Doris Austin (pron. Awstin). My parents knew a few Dorises - they were awfully nice. The Crystal Palace full-back in the '60's was Martin Hinshelwood, nicknamed Doris. It was not a compliment.
Dorises
I heard they were alphabetically naming them after people in the Met Office. I shall Google.
I've said for years that Doris is a name to strike fear and terror into people, and that it should be moved into rotation in the hurricane name stack soonest. I also disagree vehemently with the practice of naming hurricanes or tropical storms using male names. Male names do not convey the same "get out of Dodge now" subtext that female ones do.
How about using the names of demons? "Storm Demogorgon" has a fine ring to it. Next up will be Eligor, Focalor, and Glasyalabolas.
Demonised
Thing is, [Raak] I'm not familiar with the names of demons (shame on me). Perhaps we could just name them after nasty people? We've missed the opportunity for 'Bannon' but we're in time for storms 'Farage', 'Gove' and 'Hopkins'.
I know that last year's storms were named from suggestions tweeted to the Met Office and Met Eireann, and that they alternated male and female, as do this year's.
Also, does anyone else remember hearing on QI many years ago that Herod's wife was called Doris?
[pen] What on earth do you have against Mary Hopkins?
Up the bum
I've just had a prostate biopsy. Briefly quite painful but better than not having one. It's probably cancerous but can easily be treated. The consultant said that all men of 90 have prostate cancer but they die of something else. I seem to have started a little early, perhaps (74). The treatment was brilliant and prompt, at Mayday Hospital in Croydon. Why don't they get a proper car park? Bastards!
[Rosie] Well... it's absolutely fabulous that they've got you under effective and early surveillance. But I'm so sorry about the car parking, you're probably going to have to use it a few times over the next couple of months. Hope it's bearable.
(pen) I've used the car park twice already; I got a taxi this time because the procedure might have left me feeling a bit vulnerable but the feeling of having been whacked up the bum with a heavy blunt instrument soon wore off. I'm fine today.
No sunshine?
All the best, Rosie, I hope that the biopsy test result comes back with a good prognosis.
(Duj) The consultant said it was actually win-win in that any cancer can be treated and reduction in size quite routine anyway. Having now accepted there's a problem I'm looking forward to the beneficial effects. Less urgency and less getting up in the night. My Dad had his removed in 1968 and it was quite an operation but techniques these days are so much better.
Hello again, all. All the best, Rosie.
Wotcha, nights. Fast path to remission, Rosie.
[Rosie] May your treatment be effective and discomfort-free, and may your parking be abundant. Good luck.
(nights, Stevie, CdM) Thanks very much. It seems that prostate cancer among older men is, if not quite routine, at least quite common and the least harmful of all cancers unless it spreads, which is pretty rare. My cousin had it and died of a stroke, aged 84. The cancer was quite irrelevant.
(CdM) I don't think the treatment will be discomfort-free - may involve a catheter. Parking anywhere in the Greater London area is like the biopsy, a complete pain in the arse.
Best wishes
[Rosie] You have an admirably pragmatic attitude towards illness. I always do the man thing of ignoring a grumble, then eventually get off my arse* to see my GP, who then says "Oh, it's just a virus". Though, of course, one day, it won't be...

*apologies for any insensitive wording...

Has spring sprung?
Is it spring yet? I haven't really noticed a change in temperature - I'm still vested.
Sproing
[pen] Here it's bright as summer, cold as winter. It's spring.
(rab) Tell your GP that rabies is a virus, as are many other lethal lurgies. I know what he means, though.
rabsody
Oh thank goodness this site is back. It was apparently down yesterday, and I thought Scotland had independented without telling anyone.
*Aprils*
Soooo close to finishing writing the twice-yearly alumni magazine and sooo happy about it. On the other hand, I just had to cancel a trip to the UK because of an attack of the you-know-whats.
You-don't-know-whats
Irate tractor drivers? Poisonous micro-bats? Cheesed-off Dutchmen?
Whatever it was, hope they're gone now with no lasting damage.
Shut of the shots
Shot of the shits? Almost, but not quite. Bloody hell. I've lost a few kilos. Am I sure this isn't amoebic dysentery or some Dutch marshland parasitic invasion? No.
Diseasedly
Low-lying coastal delta? Dengue fever for sure. Survival rate is quite good, though.
Which is worse, Dengue fever, or constant campaigning and voting?
Let's vote on that...
Depends on how much pain you have in your cam, I suppose. It also seems to provoke a form of sleeping sickness that makes one have déjà vu nightmares.
Orangery
It's King's Day tomorrow in the Netherlands; a national holiday in every sense of the word. For most Dutch people, it means a feverish plague of orange tat - to wear, eat and wave in the air, a lot of beer, and an all-pervasive soundtrack of oompah bands and bouncy pop tunes played through bad loudspeakers from every village street. (This is my experience of it in the previous 8 years of village life - it may be different elsewhere in the country).
But the windy miller and I will be heading to the windmill in Zeeland. I will take a pile of books, a warm blanket, and a big packet of sausages to cook.
It's cold where you are? So you and the Miller are going to have an under-the-blanket sausage festival up at 'mill? That sounds very sensible under the circumstances.
[Stevie[ I am too shocked to speak.
(As it happens, I made coffee for everyone, sat out in the sun drinking coffee and eating cake, cleaned the lav thoroughly - spider footprints all over the seat - and after a lunch of sausage sarnies, I went to sit in the car to read, and got through two-thirds of Jessica Mitford's autobiography 'Hons and Rebels', including an hour's doze. Lovely.)
Exactly a week later...
My life seems to be all outings and jollies. It isn't - but as it happens I'm catching the ferry back to England tonight, the first time I've been back since last December.
The Crab
Hooray - I will not die of prostate cancer. Just seen a specialist and they have a treatment plan all worked out (catheter not involved). It'll take a couple of years at least but there is a very high probability of then being totally cancer-free. Even if not, it can be monitored and re-treated and represents no danger.
[Rosie] Thank God for that. My grandfather died of it, so I am glad to hear the news. Even if I have never met you in my life, your absence would be more than a passing thing.
Maleness
Good oh, Rosie. Great news, indeed. I hope the treatment isn't too onerous. I'll also have a drink for you this evening. :)
(Bismarck) That's very kind. I'll be quite happy to live another 15 years, being 74, and the doctor I saw earlier today implied very strongly that this business won't affect my longevity. Now, about your smoking, Mr Hughes.

(Dujon) The treatment may involve side-effects (chemo) and later possibly radiotherapy to give it a final bashing on the head. This is a bit more than taking paracetamol but I've found over the years that I seem immune to side effects, never having had any from anything. Let's hope it continues. There is already an improvement from the hormone therapy I'm undergoing - less "urgency" and less getting up during the night and no side effects such as hot flushes or sprouting boobs, which apparently can happen. And how much libido can you lose at my age? Well, a bit, actually, but it must be a serious problem for younger men, whom I do not envy.

Glad to hear that Rosie. These MC sites do come alive due to their inhabitants, so I look forward to many more years of wit 'n' wisdom from yourself (and steam locomotives).

P.S. Why do I still get libido and albedo mixed up?

Rosie
Luck, and no side effects. If you'll take some well-meant advice, keep a few bottles of the otherwise disgusting gatorade at hand during your regimen. I hope you won't need them, but better a couple of bottles you never used than not having none when dehydration hits. There's also something called pedialite over here, used for babies but essentially the same dilute cocktail of electrolytes. Can't get that at the supermarket though.
(Boolbar) Thanks for your concern. re libido/albedo - have you been trying to shag the planet Venus? Bright, isn't it.

(Stevie) I was told about possible dehydration but I think water will do. BTW, what's gatorade? Sounds like something distilled from a bayou.

Nice news
[Rosie] That's the nicest news all week. Lucozade will do the same job as Gatorade, I think, but it won't be so snappy. Ginger ale is marvellous stuff too, especially if the treatment robs you of your appetite.
[Rosie] Very glad to hear that; good luck with the treatments.
(CdM) They will be worse than the disease, which is little more than a nuisance, though not ultimately, needless to say. Thanks for your concern.
Gatorade
Sports drink. Rich in electrolytes. Water may not do, as it is the chemical imbalance that is the problem rather than lack of water. Orange juice is my usual rehydrator of choice but once you are on chemo you may find the taste becomes unpalatable. Hope I'm overstating the case. Speedy recovery at any rate. My Dad underwent the same regimen and he's free umpteen years down the road.
It's the bloody 15th of May!
Morning all. This weekend I have been mostly shouting above the din of a noisy restaurant to translate an entire Dutch menu (a very nice menu actually) to an old schoolfriend and her chap who visited for the weekend (Mauritz in Willemstad) that mader me lose some of my voice, and exploring the Napoleonic fort at the end of our dijk, which is a couple of miles away, but still on the same dijk. Exploring Fort Sabina was like one of those dreams in which you discover another staircase leading to rooms in your house that you never knew were there; it's so close to our house and has such a massive sense of history; it's now given over to nature, wind and water (and a decent cafe selling nice beer).
And what I really meant to say was... it's already halfway through May!
[pen] Halfway? I have a feeling we have another 5 years of May left.
Neighbourliness
The neighbours opposite (overbuurmensen) are gradually removing their kitchen in preparation for a new one going in in a couple of weeks. Today they'll rip out the floor and sloosh in the self-levelling goop, so they're coming over to eat at ours tonight. Salmon and new potatoes.
Can I come too?
[pen] Perhaps a self-levelling chocolate goop for desert?
Self-leveling underfloor goop. Hah. Once they are done they will lay their floor and never be able to get any of their appliances to mate the plumbing without a healthy reservoir of Class Four Words of Power.

The house settles and goes out of square, taking walls and plumbing with it (ironically, the plumbing will be out of plumb). Wheel in new washing machine on nice new level floor and the fun starts. Also, once floor laid, skirting boards may not fit under door frame. I wish everyone the best and as you value your sanity, don't get too close. I'm currently facing a bathroom wall that is now so far away from the frame of the house, the tap stems no longer poke through enough for the taps to be fitted. Oh how I laughed.

tapping
[Stevie] Your house sounds like the spire of that Chesterfield church.
The neighbours' house is a dijk-house; split level with a front door at road level, and storeys above and a storey below which is semi-underground, built into the dyke. Theirs also has constructions built out from the back of the house, on legs.
Ours is a dijkhuis too, but ours is new and built on pilings. Theirs is a hundred years old in parts and not built on pilings. Their front door doesn't fit, they have corridors that run in U-shapes around the building, and there are at least two routes to every room in the house. I'm very fond of them but they have too much stuff and cannot help but buy more.
Thank you for the warning about sanity. I fear you are right.
My internal picture was the spire of Ely Cathedral which was reportedly three feet off the vertical at the tip. Speaking of good intentions gone all tilty while no-one was looking, tomorrow Mrs Stevie leaves for DC and I begin fixing the perambulating fence of not-all-that-windproofness-when-you-get-down-to-it.
Epeeing into the wind
[Stevie] Isn't that fencing the recurring theme of your DIY posts on this website? I remember it from years ago. Perhaps it's time it went - is not even as if you have to keep the Steveling confined any more.
Nope. I value my privacy, such as it is.
Didn't get to fix the fence because of rain and bleeping work.
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it
[Stevie] A noble task! Those swearwords won't censor themselves.
No, that's the noise my computer makes when the remote connection is timing out.
[Stevie] Mark your boundary with a row of nails.  It is said that a tack is the best form of the fence.
Argh! No court in the world would convict me, Boolbar.
Hooray! Them and their clever machines have had a closer look and I have no cancer whatever outside the prostate and so don't need chemo. A very good day. A very good day indeed.
Very good news Rosie.
I bet you feel about twenty years younger, Rosie. Marvellous, marvellous, old chap.
(Stevie,Dujon) Cheers. Thanks. The prostate itself is still cancerous but it's completely under control and the hormone therapy is working, i.e. the wee-wees are faster, less urgent and there's less getting up in the night. Pints of beer are less likely to cause "spillage". This is important, obviously. This treatment is going to have to last some time but has no side-effects apart from the obvious one of loss of libido which is not the worst thing in the world for someone of my age (74) but a slight loss nevertheless. I was told, quite seriously, that every man of 90 has prostate cancer (but dies of something else). Can I hang on to it for 16 years? Some people with more threatening cancer give it a name. Any suggestions? Trump? Ibrahimovic?
Rosie's complaint
Why not call yours a "Corbyn"? After all, although it has dangerous principles it's pacific, looks like it's quite happy in its own allotment, was around for ages before coming to your notice, and you'd be better if once it's gone.
Have a beer from me, for medical reasons.
(Bismarck) It doesn't make much sense to name a malignant growth after something benign, does it?
Chuffed
[Rosie] Glad to hear your good news!
Thanks to all who have wished me well
Weather news - look away NOW
Super thunderstorm at 4.30 pm. AFPD for a few minutes, visibility down to a couple of hundred yards, then some large hail. Large by Met Office definition, i.e >5 mm; this was over twice that. I measured the rain - 12.7 mm in about 7 minutes. Still quite warm and stuffy, and no wind. Some action at last.
The Rosie Prostate Saga
[Rosie] I've been absent from this site for some time. Good Lord, you must've been through the brambles mentally, but very glad to hear that chemo has been dodged. Having lived alongside someone who had every side-effect short of death 3 summers ago, I can assure you that every chemo case avoided is a tremendous bonus!
Best wishes for future beer consumption, although I too side with the quack on the "Now, about the smoking, Mr Hughes...." front. :)
(Phil) Thanks for your thoughts. Beer consumption continues, the only problem ever having been elimination of the processed material and that is a lot better than it was. Apparently I have responded very well to hormone therapy and can now have radiotherapy which should knock it on the head once and for all. This, though, may not be all fun.
Glad to hear things are going well and that it hasn't affected the beer glands. All the best, mate.
In other news
So what's everyone doing tomorrow? An ordinary Wednesday - or is it?
(pen) Not exactly. Another trip to the Marsden, this time for a pre-radiotherapy scan. The treatment proper involves 37 visits. It's about half an hour's drive, depending on traffic but I can pick and choose the time of day which is very useful. The treatment is far worse than the symptoms which are now no more than slight and lends the whole process an air of unreality. But you have to go through with it or things may happen later, you could say. The hospital is brilliant and are confident the treatment will be successful. You're rarely absolutely cured of cancer, of course and checkups will be needed from time to time.
I have been given a booklet about dealing with this particular form of cancer. It's a useful read and there are photos of various smiling late middle-aged and elderly fellows, sometimes with their soulful-looking wives. One of the men is someone I instantly recognised and know quite well, as I do his wife. In the Big Band I used to play in before it packed up he and I were the trombone section. Also, he is a Chelsea supporter. I had no idea he'd had prostate cancer because even though he must now be about 80 he's pretty vigorous and healthy. A good omen, and a small world.
steaming
[Roie] Re: your comment to me in the Pea & Honey game - I've only ridden on two steam trains, one on the NY railway, and one on exhibition on the preserved part of the Louth-Grimsby line. And I have no idea what either of them were. (Didn't comment in the game because it makes the stanzas messy - tidy, tidy, tidy!)
trombonists unite
[And Rosie again] That sounds reasonable. I hope you find a way to deal with the side-effects of the treatment. When you get to be [more than 40] and have done lots of things, it's inevitable that people you know or have known pop up on telly, radio or in print from time to time - the delight is never knowing where or when.
The Beyer-Garratt trombonists
(pen, 1st) I should hope not. Dreadful dirty things. Beyer-Garratts are huge. I wouldn't want to fire one.
(pen, 2nd) It's all been postponed until early September because the prostate has not yet shrunk quite enough with the hormone treatment for it to be bombed with short-wave X-rays. The smaller the better because it lessens harming healthy tissue which causes the side effects. So a quiet life for a bit.
More than 40? Yes, keep going.....
I fully intend to
Spent Sunday (30C in the shade outside, slightly less inside due to judicious management of shade and through draughts) in the biggest of our two attic guest bedrooms, installing bargainous bookcase and linen cupboard (42 euros and 50 euros from the Dutch equivalent of eBay respectively) and emptying (OK, binning the contents of) boxes from the house move two and a half tears ago. I threw out my collected payslips from my last jobs in the UK - one collection going back to 1998, which is about the time I started contributing to the predecessors of this site. Blimey. It was a long, long time ago.
Dear Ms penelope
pursuant to the new post-Brexit changes to the tax code to be enacted next year, all residents of the UK who were employed between the years of 1970 to 2016 must supply proof of adequate withholding during the relevant working years.
Please forward copies of your payslips for the last five years in the UK to HM Ministry of Monetary Annoyance, 10 Nosuch Circle, London W1 ...
That sounds a bit laborious.
Tax-driven
[pen] Still got mine all the way back to year dot. I'm going to keep hold of them, too, as I've lived and worked on local contracts in various countries, so come pension time I have the proof incontrovertible, or at least enough to allow me to litigate from my shack.
BTW, if anyone thinks of saving through one of those Irish life insurance jobs, don't. My one has the same book value as the contributions, and the redemption value exactly two months after the official valuation in April is somehow only 65% of said contributions. Easily the worst investment I have ever made.
Dear Jeremy Taxman
Naff off. I earn euros now, you numpty.
Love
penelope
And following my earlier post...
Friday AND pay day AND temperatures below 25C... happy, happy, happy.
Ex-Pats Hiding Out In Holland Give Inland Revenue The Two Finger Salute!
Dutch Tax Cheats Refuse To Pay Their Share!
"Let Them Eat Chocolate and Tulip Bulbs" Sneer Callous Brexit-Dodgers!
Story on page 5.
You won't want to miss our Page 3 Bird, former Miss Windmill Acet Aldehyde (22).
CH3CHO
Subtle stuff.
nauseous
A surfeit of chocolate-covered tulip bulb fritters, probably.
We've been DUPed - again.
(Softers) Nice one, but I don't think many will be fooled.
Well, you can fool all of the people ......
Outage
Hello. Looks like there was an outage last night. Not entirely sure of the cause - could be as benign as a simple kernel panic but I'll investigate further to check it's nothing more malign.
Are we back yet?
'Kernel panic' sounds like a Face Pyjama. Is it a real thing?
Nope, nothing like that.
Punctuation
I think "expats" is better without a hyphen otherwise it sounds as if the person has somehow metamorphosed from copros bovis and this will simply not do as a chatup line at all, will it, pen?
What do you get if you stand under a cow? A pat on the head.
[Rosie] I have no idea, I'm an immigrant. 'Expats' is a name people give themselves when they're in a state of denial, not really believing the place they have chosen to live is actually 'foreign'.
[pen] Entirely agree.
[penelope, Software] And gifted by others to imply contempt based on the assumption of that very behavior. It's interesting that an Englishman here is often called an "ex-pat" but Hispanic ex-pats are universally "immigrants".
Exile
[penelope et al] Penelope and I are both immigrants and expatriates. I was expatriated forcefully (in the sense of having no choice in the matter) and penelope voluntarily (unless finding a husband in another country is considered an hormonal dictate). Of course the use of the term expat (or ex-pat) is just silly idiomatic waffling. I have heard the term used to describe someone who is working in this country but will, in all likelihood, return 'home' after a time - which is quite the opposite of its true meaning.
[Duj] I'll have you know I tried out lots of potential husbands in the UK, but none of them met the required standard.
Didn't try me!
[pen] or height?
Possessing a windmill could be a criterion, I guess?
Work, Work, Work . . .
Grad school is NOT for the faint of heart . . .
Just popping in to say h'lo
Yes, it's me, sans plus sign (which I dropped ages ago). Good to see MC5 is still alive and well. ????????
Now there's a blast from the past. G'day.
dr q
You're not fooling anyone Raak, which is of course to say "Dunx" impersonating "Software" in his "Dan"-pretending-to-be-"flerdle" persona.

Welcome "back".
Doctor Q! Wotcher, mate. Still at Pittsburgh Uni? Great to hear from you.
So yeah, a few of you know, but not everyone does, so here goes…
My real name is now Gracie Jane; pronouns are she/her. But I'm still in Pittsburgh, and people still call me Quuxum, even IRL.
[Duj] You might be on one of the meds I'm on as well :)
[drgj] Good for you! =) Out of interest, how long do people usually pronounce the "u" sound in "qu...um" for?
[drquuxum] Pleased to meet you, Gracie Jane. Great good luck in your new life.
[drq] Glad to see you back here. The more the merrier. And following on from Tuj, how do you pronounce "quuxum" (in my head it is kw-uck-zum)?
And thinking about it, how is Tuj pronounced?
[Bool] Yup; I usually spell it out as Kwucks-um, or even K????-?m.
Yes, how is Tuj pronounced? Tudge? or as in French "touge"?
"Tuy". That or "Mangrove-Stoat Frog Warbler" depending on where one is pronouncing "Tuj".
The entity known as Tuj
Unpronounceable in this solar system, I have always thought, existing only as a symbolic representation in ASCII of a different existence. 1945166590+22554-171, if your Gödelising is up to it.
Alas, your instantaneous translator is on the blink. "Bismarck" is easily pronounceable in almost every language on Earth.
Hello again
Been tweaking. Hopefully nothing broken...
Rhymes with "smudge" in my head, but YMMV. On this line, there aren't any truly unpronounceables among us, a la Drewsxpa, at present are there?
[rab] You'll ruin your teeth.
Pronunciation
[Tuj] But what would you know.
Mornin' all. Comment ally voos?
Trebonski, as my Dad would have said. Bilingual but French wasn't one of 'em.
dokodo don, dokodo don, dokodo don, dokodo don
Our taiko group played for a friend's wedding yesterday. At the party afterwards, that is, not the ceremony itself. The bride is one of the group, so she was playing with us, with a shoulder-slung drum over her full white wedding rig. Later today I expect to be very happy when the restoration of my Mac from backup completes (touch wood). The disc failed last weekend and I've been poking at the Internet through a variety of letterboxes since. Or maybe I shall be happy in a couple of days. It has just announced, "About 37 hours and 2 minutes remaining."
Happiness is restored, along with the backup.
Backups
37 hours? How much were you recovering?
About 1.75 TB. I got the machine back from Apple yesterday with a new disc, the current OS, and nothing else. I booted it, it saw my Time Capsule, and in just a few clicks and 18 hours, it's back to normal. It reported a transfer rate varying between 8 and 25 MB/second, I'm not sure why it would be that low. My broadband is faster. Maybe I should have remembered to plug in the Ethernet before it started over Wifi.
Was it a Time Machine backup? These are very slow, for some reason.
Having said that I had a backup that ran for a comparable time over USB2 last week. I had resized my hard drive from 3/4 TB to 1TB and told windows to do a backup to the same drive I had used to do the restore from the smaller image. Part of the problem was I forgot to disable Malwarebytes until 24 hours had passed uneventfully (as in the "end of backup" event hadn't fired), but I think that there was some sort of messing around comparing block usage with bit maps too. I should have used a clean USB drive from the get-go.
[rab] The backup was made with Time Machine, but the restore process was handled by the Migration Assistant. Apart from whatever speed issues there may be, it seems to me that Time Machine works the way that all backups should, ever since disks superseded magnetic tape. You aren't limited to just doing a full restore, you can look at the backup and see all the individual files and access them just like they're ordinary files on a disc, which of course they are, not hidden in some opaque archive format. Automatic hourly backups meant that without having to think about it, when the disk failed I lost no data. Do modern backup solutions for other systems provide this level of does-it-right-ness?
Discs haven't superseded mag tape. The cost factor is with the disc, but in streaming mode tape can beat a spinning disc in speed of writes. Not only that, you might be surprised at how robust the tape market has become since defense in depth backup strategies were developed in the wake of cheap,reliable discs. Of course, it is all about to change again as Flash becomes cheaper and more reliable.
Tape me up
If your tape breaks, you can splice it, losing only certain files. Solid state memory and optical disks do not have that option.
[Bismarck] Don't they splice themselves?
Light Show
Spectacular thunderstorm here. Some of the lightning made the scene look like daylight. Not all that much rain, surprisingly.
Electric Light Pourchestra
What Rosie said, but with a very hefty downpour of rain followed by a few hours of drizzle.
[Rakk] My understanding is that discs can recover lost blocks if they are in the right sort of configuration, and Flash has hardware redundancy built-in for its peculiar fail modes, so I guess the answer is "Yesnabe".
But in order to get the sort of speed and reliability from spinning discs that tape offers (in streaming mode - important specific there) you have to "waste" a lot of discs. Personally I think tape is neat just because of the robot silos. Technology should have moving parts to provide visual interest. Today's tech is all solid state in boring boxes. Some years ago I toyed with the idea of using tiny motors like the ones in toy helicopters to drive lightweight gear trains, the whole on an appliqué that could be stuck to a tower casing to make it look like it was doing useful stuff. Might still try that.
[Stevie] So it was you that invented the fidget spinner?
Cumulonimbi
Made it over here late morning, flood-like and loud as anything. Which was fun as I was having a job interview, to which it added some useful absurdity. Didn't manage to use it as a proof of divine support, though.
Thunderstruck
[Bis] I got one of my loveliest-ever jobs during a day or so of deluges and flooding. I even had a refugee friend staying over because his street was flooded - I was reluctant to take him in because I wanted to read-read-read before the interview, but humanity prevailed, and the job was a good fit.
Where's 'over here'?
(pen) Didn't you get any thunder earlier this morning? I know parts of The Netherlands got some tasty stuff. Have a look here to see it as it happens.
Fidgit Spinner
No. If I had, it would glow green and spark as it span.
Job Interview With Weather
You should have calmly placed your smartphone on the table between you and the interviewer and had it play Ride of the Valkyries as the weather crescendoed. If it had been me I would also have thought to wear 15 inch cymbals attached to the inside leg of my trousers at knee-level so I could join in the fun as I interviewed, but that's just me and my over-preparation thing at work.

AS the weather glooms, looms, flashes and crashes about outside, two people sit opposite each other at a table while tinny Wagner belts out of one of the glass slabs on the table..

"What would you say your biggest faults are?"

"WHAT?" syncopated metallic crashes are heard coming from from under the table

"I SAID: WHAT WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BIGGEST FAULTS ARE?"

"MY INCONVENIENT INTROVERSION. ARE WE GOING TO DO THE ONE ABOUT WHICH TREE I WOULD BE NEXT, BECAUSE IF WE ARE THE ANSWER IS THAT ONE OVER THERE."
[Stevie] I've downloaded RotV for future reference, you never know. Didn't get asked what my faults are (there's a Pandora's box...), did you ever support Communism and would you rather plant a tree, cut one down or cut one down and lie about it.
[pen] One linguistic border to the south of you.
Wagnerian Aids To Interviewing During Thunderstorms
and the knee-cymbals?
[Stevie] Still in two minds... Wagner didn't score for knee-cymbals, so it lacks authenticity for the purist, which might count against me if the interviewer knows their stuff.
Answering Rosie, earlier
It was Wednesday, I think, we had very hot thundery weather, torrential storms all around us but only a few hot drops of rain chez windy miller. Thursday - I think the neighbour's weather station recorded more than an inch of rain. It was spectacular.
[Bis] Bonjour. (Not 'ow-do' - hoedoe - as the Brabantsers confusingly say instead of 'bye'.)
(pen) Ah, those weather charts were right, then, though I'm not sure exactly where you are in The Netherlands.
In a thunderous voice
I looked at central Europe on, I think, my Friday. There was a spectacular string of storms in an elbow, almost a right-angle, from north of Hamburg curving down to southwest of Saltzburg then a bit of a gap to western France (SE from Paris) where a smaller but significant area was also producing much electrical activity.
Given that the lightning markers are coloured from white to yellow to orange to three shades of red depending on six 20-minute periods it was a most colourful sight.
[Rosie] South of the Netherlands; the big islands of Zeeland just to the west of us, and to the North, via the big Haringvliet bridge, Rotterdam. We would be able to see the lights of the bridge if it wasn't for our neighbours' house.
Whoops
Saltzburg sb Stuttgart.
Wagner Not Having The Foresight To Score For Knee Cymbals
I see your point, but it would be difficult to answer the interviewer's questions while playing a trombone or french horn. Perhaps you could join in one of the brass parts by playing it on those Irish Armpit-Actuated Bagpipes. Now I think on it, the vigorous Clouseau parrot-inflation arm movements would augment any interview process, thunderstorm or no thunderstorm.
Nowt since July?
So what's everyone been up to? I've had three weeks off - spent 8 days in the UK. Ate fish and chips by the seaside watching the rain and visited the Mary Rose at Portsmouth's Historic Naval Dockyard - the best museum I have ever visited.
re: Nowt since July?
[pen] I just got back from a road trip across the north of Pennsylvania (and a small bit of Western New York). Quite lovely, and I'll be uploading some pictures soon-ish.
Chewing my own leg off so I can escape work and go to Florida for a week.
Legless in Florida
[Stevie] Splendid. I have worked so bloomin' hard this year on supporting my department with all of its projects (*ahem*) that I have been unable to use up my vacation days at the correct rate. So I've had a bit of a session in the working hours part of the SAP platform, which fell over only twice as I tried to use it. As a result I'm having at least a week off per month between now and the end of the year.(Smug, I know, but this is a benefit of being a Dutch university employee).
Hey, August is cool
Warmest day of the month here, 24.5°, which frankly is crap for a highest-in-August and the second worst ever, i.e. post-1983.
(Stevie) Whoa! Have you seen this?
[Rosie] It's that time of year. Time to fire up the genny and clean it's pipes out. Hopefully it either blows itself out or goes someplace else before I have to drive through it in a week and a bit.
Gulf of... Mexico?
I can't help feeling that building a wall in Texas would help stop these foreign storms.
(Bismarck) Some wall.
Officially autumn
So how was everyone's week? And what's planned for the weekend? If I apply myself, I could be making jam for the fourth Sunday in a row - it requires a foraging expedition by cycle from the windy miller's mill tomorrow (but first, the bicycle must be retrieved from another windmill where the apprentice left it a couple of weeks ago). Pffft.
Domestics
My week was good, thanks pen. I'll be making crabapple jelly this weekend
My week sucked balls but tomorrow I plan to vent my spleen by putting three intrepid investigators into the middle of a den of vile cultists doing things so unspeakable to anyone falling into their clutches that the very minds of all will be torn asunder by the mere contemplation of the foul ... but I've said too much. Delta Green day. My favorite day of the month. Crippling SAN loss all round if it all plays out properly.
Jammy jam
Blackberry-picking expedition very successful. I bled only twice. Jamming tomoorow then. And I got a tax rebate. A good weekend so far.
Hmmmm
Sun blacked out; Texas flooded; Los Angeles on fire; N Korea about to launch nuclear missiles. You'd think God was upset with America about something.....
.
.
.
The Russians have planted a flag in this forum. What will you do about it?
Ave Maria.
You've probably spotted by now that I tend only to drop by whenever I fiddle with the server config. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that I'm now running mariadb instead of mysql.
Hello rab
How's tings?
Backatcha
Fine, although it would be nice to create around another 20 hours in the day. Although if that was 20 more hours of being shouted at by the world's loudest six-year old, I might well revise that opinion.
Surely there's a use for loud six-year olds?
Can we not usefully employ the six year old to shout over Nigel Farage or Trump or something?
Fortissimamente
Hexamegaphone.
Portents of Doom
[Phil] Paraphrasing something I just saw on Facebook: If Irma destroys Mar-a-Lago while leaving the rest of Florida unscathed, I will hand in my atheist card.
Urasdfghsfgfk
OS upgraded... is this 'thing' still on?
Another test
Another test
(rab) So you speak Czech?
The Phone Book
For the first time in I don't know how many years, BT have sent me a "phone book". How quaint!
Yeah, we just got one too. Had no idea where to put it.
I put mine in the bin.
When I'm cleaning windows
After three years in this house, I FINALLY found a window cleaner to do the ones I can't reach. You cannot imagine how happy this makes me.
*puzzled* Can't you just tie squeegees and sponges to the windmill blades?
squindmilleegee
[Stevie] We don't live in a windmill. They're too full of machinery - and drafty gaps to ventilate the dust out - for anyone to live in. However, I have often considered how convenient it would be to attached the wet laundry to the sails and have them dried and straightened at the same time. Less ironing to do is always a good thing.
[penelope] *puzzled* But don't all the houses in Holland have windmill sails on them? I'm beginning to think the Junior Boys Bumper Book of Foreign Places (1962 ed) was perhaps less authoritative than I was led to believe by the Raptnuckle Infants School librarian. You'll be telling me next that the skies over Berlin are not darkened by fleets of dirigible warships, waiting for the Next Big One.
I've been about 2/3rds of everywhere, and it was in Utrecht that I realized that Holland is almost certainly a better place to be a human being in than anywhere else I've ever been. One day perhaps I'll even find the words to explain why. I think the words exist but I'm pretty sure they're Dutch.
A belief in the power of gezeligheid and the 'keeping our feet dry' polder model of discussing everything to the nth degree before making a decision (and the ability to have a proper discussion that this necessitates - missing in 'other places' where political point-scoring is seen as winning), probs. Actually, it is pretty organised here. Lots of red tape and regulation, and plenty of tax to pay, but the roads don't have holes, the water stays out, and I can get a next-day appointment with my GP.
If only I could speak better Dutch.
Holland == Heaven On Earth
Notwithstanding the heartbreak of dry-rot in the klompen of course.
Party time
Woo-hoo! Did my usual application for a TV license and was told I now get it free as I was very close to a certain age.
Gratis
It's a good feeling is it not, Rosie. I had the same sensation when I fronted up at the local traffic authority to renew my drivers' licence (5-years and a few bob) and was told that as I had reached 'a certain age' they declined to take my money. I would like to thank the taxpayers of this blessed country for your magnanimity.
We don't have TV taxes here, by the way, although we used to. I think someone in the public service did some number-crunching and found that enforcement didn't really work and that it cost more to try to enforce licensing than the income garnered.
[Rosie] Good News: Free TV. Bad News: TV Programming.
[Stevie] Good News: Everyone can have free TV by not watching TV.
Bad News: If you have one of those globe chairs in the room, the tendency to fill the time by plotting World Domination can consume one.
(Stevie, Raak) All I watch regularly is Match of the Day 1 & 2, HIGNFY and University Challenge. I never watch anything live but record it and play it back about 2 in the morning with a strong cup of coffee or a stiff brandy. That way you can fast-forward through the interviews, which tell you nothing, and the sages on the panel. I reckon that on ITV could watch the entire World Cup in about 20 minutes.
(Dujon) The driving licence for over 70's here is only for 3 years and you have to self-certify that you're fit to drive.
(Stevie) Can't even dominate the sodding back garden.
Self certify
"Are you fit to drive?"
"Yes."
Good News: Plotting world domination can make you an international bestselling novelist.
Bad News. Being an international best-selling novelist didn't do Solzhenitsyn an awful lot of good.
Chain poem
'Twas Brexit, and the slimy Gove / Did gyre and gibber in the halls / All mimsy was that Johnson cove / And the "OUT" maths was balls.

Someone do the next stanza...

[Superman] Nah. This is the chat thread, and you're just wanting to rant poetically. Who knows where it will end? Start a game for it if you really want to. (I do an awful lot of it on Twitter - in fact I troll 'Brexit Central' daily.)
In other news, I have successfully used my Dutch network *smug* to get new tyres installed on the windy miller's 70-year old Fergie tractor, as a birthday present. And the local GP surgery has offered me a Vitamin D shot to counter the winter gloom.
(pen) I like the idea of you trolling the rabid loonies. I hope you're not too rude.
Plans fr the weekend, anyone? I actually don't have any. Which is nice.
This Weekend
Eat. Sleep. Archery. Repeat.
Some alcohol may be involved as well.
[Blob] Archery? I dint no you did that. At targets I presume, rather than rabbits and edibles.
Middle-class darts
[pen] Yes targets. Although I have done field archery shooting at pictures of rabbits and other game.
Oops
Ah. Soz.
The Archers
[Blob] So you and your friends basically spent the entire weekend on your butts?
Buttering up
It's not too early to start discussing plans for the weekend, is it? it's the English Editors' association dinner in Utrecht on Sunday. We'll all be minding our Ps and Qs, obvs.
No butts but...
We tend to call our butts bosses 'round these parts. So after a bad week at work I can enjoy filling my boss full of arrows. As for this weekend I shall be avoiding shopping and will continue to do so until it is safe to venture out in 2018.
Kerrrrching!!
[Boolb] I think I've done all the shopping instead of you.
What the Hallibut?
I doubt Britain will run out of fish puns . . . http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2017/11/18/britains-fish-pun-stocks-critically-endangered/
(KS) There is no Cod but Halibut. I nicked this from the great Steve Bell
Get thee to a fish punnery
OK, save it for a spare game slot, chaps. Or kill one of the slow moving games and raise your fish stocks in there.
In other news, I usually order the fish if I'm eating out. Best dish is mackerel or trout or John Dory grilled over a fire in this restaurant (which although tiny is in the top 500 in the Netherlands). If you plan to go, the windy miller's mill is 500 yards away and is open every Saturday.
sentient websites
The MC5 website just complained that my last post smelled fishy. Incredible.
[pen] It must have been the mention of an open game slot - this isn't the site for that!
Last weekend, at LI Whocon 5, I ran into the son of Patrick Trouton.
miscellaneous
[Tuj] I am shocked!
[Stevie] Who? Was he hurt?
Eel be ok.
Decemberation
Things seemed to have slowed down a bit in here. Are you all sitting on your Christmas puddings, waiting for them to hatch?
Satin tights.
I've had a 2 day cold. Gave me a chance to watch my Wonder Woman box set though. Watching Lynda Carter throwing Nazis around is a strange but delightful pleasure.
T minus three
If all goes to plan, I will lock my office door on Friday afternoon and won't go back until NEXT YEAR. Have just about had it up to here *points to gullet* with ridiculous requests for work, and I found a couple of days holiday going spare. I'm going to take them.
Party pooping
Thursday - Today I am mostly doing parties three and four.
The first party (6th floor potluck on Tues) I managed to avoid although not without being interrogated about my reasons for not wanting to go (umm... you're colleagues, not friends. My time is my own).
Yesterday's lunch party (#2) was actually worth doing - the research institute's awards and nice food.
This lunchtime? Not so good. Quarterly staff update meeting for the whole business school, masquerading as Xmas Lunch. There are never enough dining spaces for everyone (so you have to stand for the whole meeting before they open the buffet) and the queues are enormous. Cannot avoid this one but won't bother with queuing for food. Will head back to my office and buy a sandwich.
Party Four this evening - the windy miller's company do. The company is growing fast, and seems to attract the reformed protestant type, although the WM, like me, doesn't do religion. It's their habit to invite all wives and children, and the Xmas party is now up to about 50 people. Most of them have at least four children each and dress traditionally (you can spot 'em a mile off). I'm usually the only childless woman there, and the only one wearing trousers.
Bah humbug.
Radioactive
9 down, 28 to go. Prostate cancer radiotherapy sessions. Side effects - say no more. But it will work.
Chin up, Rosie. There's a few of us 'old blokes' cheering you on. Your doctor(s) seem, from your past comments, to believe that you have a very good chance of full remission; now that's something for which to look forward.
Cheering you on
[Rosie] Keep up the good work, sir. Let's think laterally. What fun or usefulness can you have with your radioactive (*ahem*) parts? And can we write limericks about them? (The adventures, not the parts).
[Rosie] Canonically, when exposed to radiation, human beings are reported to develop mutant super-powers somehow related to the circumstances and body part that got zapped. I look forward to tales of a mysterious new masked vigilante stalking the streets of London and the incredulous stories told by those foolish enough to cross your path as you flit through the foggy night, fighting crime by means of your awesome new powers.
Prostate power
Thanks, people. (Duj) "Cure" is aimed for and will very likely be achieved. If not the thing will be kept quiet and maybe given another radiative bashing. I won't die of it, but maybe with it. Once a cancer patient of course, always a cancer patient and there'll be regular monitorings every few months. (pen) Let your pen (sic) flourish. Keep it clean. (Stevie) Cum, cum, sir, your imagination is in overdrive. :-)

I'd like to give a word of praise to the hospital which is The Marsden, Sutton. The staff are brilliant. Both patients and staff have a smile for each other. In addition, transport has been arranged which saves shuffling/barging/swearing through heavy suburban traffic.

RIP Heinz Wolff
Much regretted. I hope the funeral directors will challenge well-wishers to find a way of transferring the coffin to the grave from a distance, using only a piece of wood, some cloth, an eggbeater and a long pole.
Rosie - what to look forward to ...
(Blob) I get through too many fags as it is but that can't be the source of my current problem simply because I don't smoke them through my membrum virile, or membrum pretty fucking useless as it is currently. I have discovered yet another recovered prostate cancer survivor, total now four. This was someone I haven't seen since 1963, a very good mate at University.
Merry Christmas
(Giertrud) And to you m'dear. Actually it bores me silly so I'm just going to stew and scoff one choccy after another. There's not even any football - I dunno.
High spot of the day: The soundtrack of my mother in law (deaf as a post) on the phone to my mother (also deaf as a post). Neither could understand what the other was yelling about even when they weren't yelling at the same time and making their phones decide who to give priority to and for how long.
Highlights
Highlight of my day was finding that my sausage rolls were pretty darn good. First time for me, but you can say this for Delia Smith recipes - They work!
Highlight
Nearly being beaten at Triv Purs by my 12-year old nephew. In the end my brother in law beat both of us.
Gasping for air
The barometer here is down to 978 mb, the most interesting thing to have happened round Christmas apart from Mount Mourinho erupting yet again. Ho, ho, ho.
TrivPurs
[pen] Mrs Stevie and I used to be challenged regularly to TP by friends of hers, who gloried in our lack of any sort of knowledge of sports (in which they excelled). In two consecutive games we were first to the middle (me on point with science, geography and history, Mrs Stevie on Arts and Ents) and they chose "sports and leisure" as our game-breaker. Game one the question was "How many men on a cricket team?"

This was doubly funny because all game there had been questions on English history, Science done in England and the Geography of England. Every other question was asked and appended with howls of "Another English question!"

The second game went much like the first, with us romping home and being asked a Sports and Leisure question again: "How many holes in a bowling ball". I laughed so hard I thought I'd pass out.

The next time we got together with that pair we'd been to the UK for a visit and acquired a UK set of TP. We smuggled one box of cards into their American set and they didn't twig why the apparent quota of English questions had doubled until we both cracked up and confessed.

Happy New Year
I really should give this place a spring clean...

The rabling has discovered Monopoly and invented a variety of quantitative easing schemes, including mortgaging his socks.

HNY
[Rab] How old is the rabling now? 35? 36?
In other news, I'm back at work after two and a half weeks off and having a stab at pretending to be an editor. What the heck do I know about copywriting?
Is it lunchtime yet?
Editation
Don't editors just have to dress badly, wear an eyeshade, chew rope cigars and yell at everybody?

Dream job then.

Bonce bashing
Most satisfying. Don't overdo it.
Radiation
[Rosie] It just occurred to me, after watching another Dr Who Xmas special, that there is a slight possibility of not developing mutant super-powers, instead devolving into a revolting blob, retiring inside a giant pimply salt shaker and going homicidal on everyone & his dog.

No sudden urges to hide in a dustbin and kill everyone on the street I hope?

Editation
Dessed badly? Check (I'm still getting dressed in the dark here in the Januarial low countries); wearing eye shadow (not eyeshade, but close enough) - check; chew rope cigars? Eeeuuuuwww. Yelling at everybody - check.
I think I qualify.
[penelope] Do you still get to rip open your office door, wave a fistful of paper in your hand and scream "Stop the Press!", or throw people out of your office, yelling "Either bring me the straight dope on the Mayor and the actress or find another job Kilcullen!"?
Fluorescent naughty bits
(Stevie) No, none of that but don't get too close.
pen is mightier than the sword
[pen] Sounds fun. Maybe before Britain completes economic suicide I should be begging you for a job =)
Apparently my 'serious' demeanour prevents people from calling into the office and asking me to do things for them. I'd call that a result.
[Stevie] I'm not a newspaper or publication editor - I'm an in-house editor, so work on webpages, internal messages, brochures, our own news items. I miss the days of real newspaper work though - two decades ago now, when the most fun was finding puns to put into the reports of garden shed burglaries from the weekly CID briefing at the police station, and deciphering the spidery handwriting on the back of an envelope that had been shoved through our market place office letterbox, describing the weekly meeting of a village branch of the WI. *sigh*
The pay was utter rubbish though.
[pen] I fail to see why any of your description of your actual editing duties precludes the stuff I brought up.
His Girl Friday
That last entry sounds like Stevie calling pen into his office and telling her what's what.
fake news
[Bism] I can assure you that didn't happen. Stevie was too busy shovelling snow back into his neighbour's yard. Or should that be 'neighbor's yard'?
[pen] It should, the gardens in question being in New York.

[Bismarck] I've never warranted more than a cube in my life, and I haven't been in charge of anyone else since 1995, when my pig-headedness when it came to repeatedly requesting training for my staff and in giving them glowing reviews when the richly deserved it ensured I'd never be put into management again.

Never being in charge
[Stevie] Quite. I've never wanted to be a manager - it's just trouble. However, I do want to become more expert at what I do (editing and copywriting). Trouble is, the career progression of most places, including this one, is set up assuming that everyone wants to be a manager. Therefore, I am unable to move up to the next pay grade unless I change my job and move to another department, no matter that I am nine years and umpteen training courses into becoming better at this one. Folly.
I have to take this semester off for financial aid reasons and I should concentrate on my class proposal, but then I get distracted . . . I need to treat this like it is a class and have some self-discipline.
May we know your subject?
Prostrate on the carpet
31 down, 6 to go. I think I'm actually going to miss this routine.
Of course . . .
I'm getting my Master's Degree in Theatre.
Job vacancy
Anyone looking for a job? I'm recruiting for an IT assistant to join me. Need to have good knowledge of databases (Oracle and/or SQL) and programming skills in e.g. VB/C/C++/C# and ideally .NET environment. Salary negotiable, but think along the £50k lines
...
Ah, should mention location - Potters Bar, Herts, UK
February innit
I’m just procrastinating - I should be hoovering.
Sad to be driving New Yorkwards from Florida, where I’ve been lounging around and playing in Diagon Alley in my Slytherin drag.
Note to the LIRR
There is a small group of Confederate flag waving reptiles heading your way. Please, please, prepare - if only for the sake of Stevie, who likes to arrive at work on time and then arrive home in time for his evening meal.
Yours etc.,
Duj
LIRR
59 “we suck” advisory emails from the LIRR since Jan 29th. That’s just the Ronkonkoma branch suckage. 59. Only the LIRR could send “normal service restored” emails and think they were achieving greatness by doing so.
[Stevie] by those statistics, the advisory notes constitute normal service. I have submitted a petition to the MTA that the East Side Access should be opened by you and renamed the "Carpal Tunnel" in your honour, as of the pain and anguish caused by years of commuting.
East Side Access
Another example of wonderful planning. A tunnel between Penn Station and Grand Central Terminal. This will solve ... what exactly? I mean, the choke point in the whole sorry mess is the fact that of the four tunnels under the East River, only two are signaled in both directions allowing for bi-directional travel without the need for time-consuming emergency train orders. One of the two is permanently assigned to Amtrak traffic. The other two tunnels are signaled in one direction only. One is signaled into Manhattan, the other out of it. Thus traffic will be disrupted in 3/4 of the possible tunnel signal outages (since if Amtrak's tunnel is lost, they immediately take possession of the other bi-directional tunnel (which means effectively that the bi-directional tunnel is twice as likely to fail as any of the others from the LIRR point of view.
Hidden textThe utterly stupid part of all this is that the tunnels flooded during superstorm Sandy and the signals had to be replaced using "Obama Dollars". Instead of wiring them properly (as had been known to be needed for at least the 33 years I've been travelling on the LIRR) They put them back the same retarded way they were before the flood happened.

So the extra Grand Central traffic will not only add to the system congestion, it will be f*cked-up by the same tunnel idiocy from which the existing network suffers.
Bring back the staff.
Talking of staff
I'm interviewing a domestic cleaner tomorrow. I'll get my weekends back (but will of course pay for the privilege).
Staffing
[pen] Do they need special qualifications to tackle a windmill?
[pen] I thought y' had ter pay miller fer privilege.
[Bismarck] Just a long squeegee for the sails, I think.
'Squeegee for the sails'
That's a song. Or part of a limerick. Or a concept. Not sure.
[pen] It should be a band name.
[pen] Will the staff have to call you "mill-mistress" or is the proper term of servile respect "madame miller"?
Paying for a clean house is next to godliness
I was 49 when I got my first-ever dishwasher. I am now 52, and have just engaged a cleaner. Why the hell didn't I do this years ago when I could barely afford it? It's unbloomingbelievable what a difference it makes. Now I have time at weekends to go and hoover the windmill.
I used to be a dishwasher, but now I'm single.
Weekenderations.
Weekends are filling up. I can blame the windy miller for most of this. Next weekend is a late Valentine's Day stay at our favourite aubergey kind of place in the Ardennes to eat beautifully prepared wild things and drink a lot of wine before sleeping it off; then the weekend after it's a hotel dinner, bed and breakfast en masse to celebrate my husband's business partner's 10 years in business (with a few other of his colleagues and their wives, who are all a great deal more fastidious about saying grace before and after a meal than we are because most of them come from the Dutch bible belt - this one will be interesting rather than fun), followed by, the next weekend, a few days in Blighty to celebrate Mothers' Day with Mater.
But this next one is empty. And the forecast says it won't rain,. Suggestions?
For the dinner appear in ceremonial garb appropriate for summoning Dagon on the dank shores of Innsmouth. As the others say grace murmer your own favourite lip-sync ("lobster thermidor") until they are done and then "ritualistically" sacrifice a king prawn, scattering the bits onto a side plate before pouring a ring of salt around the rim of the plate. If anyone asks, look startled and murmur "best not talk about it openly under this moon".
Spare time
Hey pen, give me the name of that Ardennes place will you, since it's in my area and I'm looking for a place to take Mrs Bismarck.
For the weekend, take the train first class from Rotterdam to Marseilles.
Ardennes inforrmation
[BIsmarck] It’s here www.lamaisondemaitre.com/english. On me ipad thus no fancy html stuff, sorry. Food excellent, one sitting for dinner, no telly in rooms, excellent walking/hiking country. Will report back after next weekend.
Amused.
[Bismarck] Blooming excellent, it was. Lovely B & B (we got a room with a four poster bed & bathtub), plus aperitifs, amuse bouches, delish three-course dinner (proper cooking innit - posh sauces and all) including wine for each course (they’ll top up your glass if you’re swigging it), came to just over 170 euros. Lovely scenery, lots of snow on the hills up there (it was -5C and bright, bright sunshine when we left there about 10 this morning) and less than half an hour’s drive to the shopping centre just over the border in Luxembourg where there’s dead cheap fags and booze. A litre of Ricard for 14 euros... (we pay 20-ish here in the Netherlands, and no doubt even more in Blighty.)
That was our fourth stay there. Highly recommended.
Pilgrimage
Hello all, on the off chance there's anyone posting here who doesn't visit MCiOS - there's a tentative plan for a Pilgrimage on Sunday 8th April to celebrate the 20th anniversary of that server... This may take the form of a drink in a pub somewhere in the vicinity of the Great Station itself, and general chat and playing of silly games in person... Head to MCiOS for details...
(blamelewis) I really hope to make this one.
[Rosie] It'd be a pleasure to meet you after all this time!
(blamelewis) Reciprocated. You are very kind man. I'll have to get the Choob from Morden. I am transpontine-located, just in snooty Surrey.
Pilgimage
I will have to send a cardboard cut-out. So many of you I haven't met... (I think I first actually pilged in 1999...)
Image of the Pilgr
Anyone got Skype? Pen, Gil and I could maybe make that place in the Ardennes...
I’ve only just seen Bismarck’s post. Hmmm... Where is Gil? I met him at a Euston pilg once and thought he was Blighty-based, but that was nearly 20 years ago, obvs.
in other news, I’m currently making a scarecrow prototype for a village festival in July. It’s my own fault. I came up with the idea and wrote the plan.
*snicker* Total trolling
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGzp-s-xyw4
Pilgrimage
You were missed Rosie... and then commemorated in absentia in the MCiOS limerick game.* Fun was had, we had five ultimately, the perfect Limerick team... Links to photos at MCiOS chat. Two games of MC were played, the first won by Projoy, the second by Simons Mith, with a bit of help from Peter Pan. The second game truly was Mornington Crescent in Outer Space, with moves like "Sea of Tranquility" resulting in an sharp increase of the importance of spin to the plays thereafter... Nice to have seen the folks there, and let's do another one sooner!
*By commemorated, I may mean ribbed...
(blamelewis) See latest in MCiOS Limerick game.
[Rosie] Can you dial up some better weather please?
(pen) I tried but was put on hold. After some Vivaldi a voice advised me to ring in about eight weeks.
[Rosie on hold]
But was your call important to The Voice?
S'OK, we've had a couple of days of hot weather and I have decided I don't like it. You can take it away now.
Michael Fish Replacement Service
(Stevie) Oh, vital, a veritable sine qua non. Without my call the whole organisation would have folded. I wish.
(pen) Hot weather removals are not as straightforward as you might imagine. The First Law of Thermodynamics ensures that. Give me a decent oven cloth and I'll dump it in the sea off Cape Horn.
More weather
Moderately feeble thunderstorm at Plas Huws about 1.15 a.m. It means that ghastly gnome-like little creep Matt Taylor with his weird hybrid accent was right.
Diversion
Three days of thunderstorms have drifted over the country, watering every garden except chez nous. The thundeheads have neatly parted before they reach our house, leaving us dry but giving out tantalising rumbles and flashes audible and visible from the deck.
But this evening might be different...
Even more weather
Good thunderstorm Saturday nite. Nearly continuous lightning (cloud-to-cloud most of it) and a good downpour. More!
Aridicity
I wish, Rosie. Zero precipitation so far this calendar month at Chateau Dujon even though we experienced a couple of dry periods of electrical activity. Perhaps this little note will help in remedying that rather sad situation. Mind you, May is normally dry(ish).
Aqueous perceptions
(Duj) Yeah, I suppose for Aussies rain is generally a Good Thing whereas for us lot it is not. I've never had a rainless month though actually come quite close to it with about 2 mm in a few months in the past. The thing about this May is the warmth and sunshine. Some May days can be 'orrible; I've had two May days in the past when the temperature has failed to reach 7°C and there was a bit of sleet as well.
Up Periscope here at Chez Stevie.
Well, Rosie, my jinx worked. 7.5mm overnight (29/30) put the kybosh on a clean sheet.
(Duj) My sheet has been thoroughly cleaned by yesterday's downpour. Intermittent rain, heavy rain, light rain all day from an utterly featureless sky. It came to 32.2 mm, a May record for Plas Huws.
Weathermen
Eight straight days with a thunderstorm, this is the first without rain. Filled a plant pot to three inches, though uncalibrated. Nice warm weather and I've never seen strawberries so cheap.
(Bismarck) Wherzat den? Netherlands, N Germany?
Belgium, southerly of Pen. It did rain again overnight and then solidly the next day. The weather where I am at the moment shows no sign of rain.
Belgium, southerly of Pen. It did rain again overnight and then solidly the next day. The weather where I am at the moment shows no sign of rain.
Crossposted
Merlyn, are you sending out mails from a yahoo account? Because I got one consisting of a short link. If really sent it and really want me to open the link please resend with a subject and your MC name in the body.
[Bismarck] I've been watching the weather radar and seeing the intense storms drifting northwards from you to us over the past week, but either petering out before they arrive or slipping off course as they cross the rivers. It was mostly hot, or hot and and muggy last week, but there was lots of rain on Friday and much cooler and fresher Saturday/Sunday. Back to 20C and murk today, Monday, first day back after a week off work. *shrugs*
Sparky
(pen) See lightning strokes in real time. Try this
Winders
[Rosie] Oooh. I also use www.buienradar.nl, plus the weather station belonging to the neighbour over the road, which has its own website and tweets - telling me if my washing is getting rained on while I’m 40km away at work.
(pen) And if it is?
[Rosie] This morning, yes. No rain on the rain radar but I forgot to check the drizzle radar.
Back to autumn
This morning's weather, according to Dutch parlance, is 'sour apples' - autumnal weather when it should be summery.
(pen) It will very soon be sunny like it is here, 24°C and a bit of a breeze. Nice.
I expect it is warm in Nice.
Just come back from thereabouts and had rain most of the time, but it was warm rain.
Hot stuff
It got up to 30.2° today in the grounds of Plas Huws. Just after 5 pm a southerly breeze sprang up and the temperature dropped an almost instant 4 degrees. This must be the sea breeze - unusual because it doesn't normally reach this far north.
Here and there and round about
(Rosie) A wee bit different here in my humpy.
If you are interested I've posted a very broad but hardly usable short resume of the last 30-years from my location here
Non-weatherishness
On the (delayed) Paris train, with eight Dutch people in the carriage making enough conversation to invade my noise-cancelling headphones. Jajaja!
It never rains but it drizzles
(Duj) Your annual average in the parched Australian outback is higher than mine in the Elevated Surrey Wetlands, which is 822 mm. (35 yr). But your rain-days are less than 2/3rds of mine. I've never had a rainless month but this June came closest (1.2 mm) which by UK standards is the square root of a mouse's ear'ole. Good; the "lawn" stops growing so less work. Heat Is Work and Work Is Heat and it's quite warm enough.
Wet and dry
True, Rosie, but here it tends to come down in lumps. This, as you well know, results in run-off which is good for the creeks and rivers, but not for much else. Here will be found records for three consecutive years each of which is different. It also, though not deliberately, includes the heaviest rainfall I have recorded over an Australian Meteorological day (0900 to 0900).
Quite lumpy
I see 188 mm in a day. I bet that caused some mayhem. The best I've done is 68 mm but before I started recording there was a case of 175 mm over 2 days (1968) which put half of Surrey under water. We get a different kind of lumpiness, of course, solid cold lumpiness. Biggest level depth here 16" or 39 cm. (1987). Those were the days.
AVMA
I will try to keep up with the AVMA this week. However, I have to write my comp exams for grad school this week, so I may fall behind a bit. I'll make sure to come back after they are all submitted to check on it and that I've answered the questions!
Never liked hosepipes anyway
Last three days minimum 28°C, clouds and even cumulonimbi scudding across the sky, not a drop of rain. Late fruit and veg harvest going to pot.
Hosepipe broken. Send buckets.
32C as I drove home from work yesterday afternoon. Black clouds approached, squally winds sprang up and blew all the windws shut, yet there was only the slightest wetting from rain. What a bleedin' let-down.
Dry windows
Those European cars must be a little different to those we drive over here, penelope. What I find with the storm bit of your comment is that my wife and I, or one of us, race out to bring in the washing - quite unnecessarily. Still, one cannot ignore the lumps - as mentioned to Rosie - so the odds are 'bring it in', regardless.
Blowing hot
[Duj] When it's 31C and bowing a hooley, the washing dries in about 20 minutes.
And yeah - I nonned sequitured on the windows shutting thing - I meant the house windows blew shut.
Just waiting . . .
Just waiting to hear results of my comp exams now. I've still got school work, but it's back to "normal" . . . for grad school.
[K] Hope they went well. What are you studying?
Too darned hot
The temperature in the grounds of Plas Huws has now risen to 33.7°C, no less. I'm not sure why it's nearly 4 degrees warmer than yesterday but I suppose I ought to. Last night on Radio 4 that blithering twat Schaffernaker offered no help, not that he ever does.
To darn dot
I was at the barbers who had the BBC news channel on silent with the subtitles switched on. Apparently it was "the hottest day of beer so far." Oh, and they said "not to leave God in your car."
two barn dot
The car's temp readout yesterday (not up to Rosie's demands for scientific accuracy but it's the best I have on the move) as I drove past Ikea in Rotterdam said 37.5C.
An hour and a half later, we had a squally thunderstorm and it said 20C. Turns out that only the raindrops were cold because the temperature was back up around 30C when the rain stopped. It's currently at [checks neighbour's weather station - Meteo Heijningen' if you're curious] 36C. I'm working at home in front of a big fan. (No, not the windy miller, he's in his air-conditioned office).
Change is coming tomorrow - and we're doing a 24-hour marathon at the mill until Sunday lunchtime. [Molen de Korenbloem on FB if you're curious].
It is 37ºC in my sun-trap of a computer room. I have not ventured out into the furnace the last two days, but thunderstorms are promised for this evening. As is (rather more reliably, I think) a total lunar eclipse. Moonrise 20:48 where I am, during totality, which continues until 22:13, followed by the partial phase until 23:19, which is effectively the end of the show. Astronomers also define the penumbral phase (when the Earth blocks at least one point on the Moon from seeing at least one point on the Sun), which ends at 00:28. More information here.
Still too darned hot
(pen) Was IKEA on fire then? Good. Awful place. There's one in Croydon to which I've been once but never again. Just weird. Your car thermometer's probably not far out. It got up to 37° at Schipol.
We've just had a big thunderstorm. Nice bit of rain (about 10 mm) and the temperature is 18°. That's my drought f*****d, then. Goodbye, drought - 39 days no measurable rain.
(Raak) Thirty seven? Would it be indelicate to enquire as to how you are attired? It's cooler outside y'know. I don't think I'll see the eclipse because there's a skyful of residual medium cloud from the thunderstorms and this sort of stuff takes ages to clear.
(Boolbar) God should be able to withstand the inferno.
[Rosie] Thong and nipple rings. Running shorts. It looks like I won't be able to see the eclipse either, too much cloud. There was the briefest flurry of rain as I went out to hopefully look at the horizon, but no more. The forecast on the BBC is currently saying 100% chance of rain around 11pm. If it does rain properly I shall go out for a cold shower.
(11:57 pm) Well, call that rain? The lightning was quite impressive though, bright flashes diffused by the screen of cloud.
Can't be too careful
(Raak) So you didn't suffer "localised surface water flooding issues" then? Lucky man.
There's another lunar eclipse in 6 months on 21 Jan 2019. 4.41 to 5.43 a.m. 25° altitude in the west. We won't see that one either.
Not even puddles. It's noticeably cooler outside this morning, although my cold water supply is a degree up from yesterday, 23ºC.
Raining moons and thermometers
[moon] We should have had a decent view of the lunar eclipse but, as one of my nieces commented later that morning, "weeks of almost cloudless skies and suddenly the roof of the world is &#@%*! clouded over".
[Rain] It's a problem here as well - lack of rain that is - much of western New South Wales and, thus, most of the state's farmers have received less than 50mm precipitation thus far in 2018. Farms are or have already turning into dust bowls. Livestock is being destroyed by bullet as transport to market cost more than the price available (for those who survive the trip) and the farmers cannot afford the cost of bringing in fodder. It's all very sad.
[ºF/ºC] There is many a million people around the world who welcome you to the world of HEAT. It must have been a terrible shock to many an individual's internal ecosystem, particularly the young, old and frail. I fervently hope that no deaths occurred directly attributed to the heat-wave.
(Raak) Do you make regular readings of your cold water temperature, or is it a built in monitor designed to warn you of freezing water-in-pipes?
[Dujon] I finish every shower by turning the water to cold, and measure the temperature. In winter it was 5ºC, and I could only manage about 40 seconds, but above 20º I can stand in it indefinitely. This is part of following the Wim Hof Method for improving cold resistance.
(Raak) That sounds more like a course in masochism to my mind. Brrr!
studies
I'm studying theatre. As long as I pass my comp exams, I should have my Masters in Theatre sometime in August.
theatre
[KagomeShuko] Seconding the good wishes for the exams - what areas of theatre are you studying? I work in the industry (I design video for shows), and long ago did an MA in Theatre Studies at Glasgow Uni - can't say I was very academically successful but loved the industry enough to forge a career in it! :) (Twenty-five years on no one has *yet* noticed it's a forgery...)
When I am near ter...
[Blamelewis] Isn't ALL of theatre a forgery?
Quote Unquote
Far from it, pen..
In other news, July was the hottest recorded at Plas Huws (since 1983) but only beat July 2006 and July 1983 by the teeniest margin.
Big Data Weather
Looking at this snazzy app that my power company provided me with showing the output of my solar panels, I am wondering if it is possible to extract useful stuff like "it was a nice day" and "this month was hotter than normal". Any suggestions?
I wonder if it is possible to use the app to hack your home network, unlock your IoT front door and stealz your neat stuffs.

Did the panels come with a hideously deformed hunchback assistant to turn them on and off?

Henchhunch
[Stevie] No, you have to provide that yourself - there's a job ad out if you'd like to apply.
HDHBA
I shall have to dig out an email exchange I had in 1999 or thereabouts that revolved around the hiring of HDHBAs to work automatic generator cutover switches enfeebled by Y2K upgrades. I could get a worthwhile TOS post out of it.
Automation alert
(Bismarck) Don't tell the Met Office - they'll get ideas. Nearly all weather observations are now automated; the numbers go automatically into a computer and a forecast is produced. A sort of human may then intervene and tell the awaiting masses it will feel warmer/colder or whatever, this idiot savant having access to the thermal responses of the entire population, ranging from 6-yr-old boys to old dears of 92.
Serendipitous reporting
There's probably been a game like this, but I'd like to suggest a re-run after reading here this comment about Boris Johnson: "It looks to me like he's digging his political grave. It's one to deploy humour and charm and intellect and all these things he has in spades". Anyone interested?
Time is an illusion, summer time doubly so...
Europe is thinking of getting rid of the hour change. It looks like being one of those weird decisions - if voted on before end October, Europe remains on summer time; if after, winter time. Which should we vote for?
Serendipidous
[Bismarck] When Robert Maxwell had disappeared from his yacht, before his body was found, one of his friends was interviewed on the TV and said - utterly without inflection - that "He seemed in a buoyant mood the last time I saw him." I was somewhat delighted...
Totally tropical
At 2 o'clock this morning the temperature in the grounds of Plas Huws was 19.0°C. It's October FFS. About 10 degC above what it should be.
Credence
It can't be global warming because Trump says it's not.
Ad hominem
I read him as saying that it is OK to believe in climate change, as long as you are willing to be blamed for it. To show his acceptance, he is looking for volunteers.
25°C two weeks ago, now it's snowing. Is it going to be a hard winter or a mild winter?
25°C two weeks ago, now it's snowing. Is it going to be a hard winter or a mild winter?
(Bis) I suppose I ought to say something, being ex-Met Office. Well, mild or cold, FIIK.
Come on Rosie, you can do better than that. Where's your experience from previous years, observation of migration patterns of sparrows, wind direction causing bunion growth, modern glaciation etc etc to say nothing of the advanced abacus climate models?
The Met Office's Abba Cuss has been given over to accountancy. Helen Willetts will continue to suppress giggles on Radio 4. Tomasz Schaffernaker will say "cunt" on air and become "A" list. An inch of snow will cause widespread points failures. Points mean derailments. What do points mean?
Belated MHR for Sat. last, Rosie.
(Duj) Many thanks mate. Trombones abundant.
non-sensical riddle
I have a riddle: If you're going down a river at 2MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?
3.
[KagomeShuko] *Holds hands about 3 feet apart* This colour.
(KS) At least 5 foot 8.
[KS] Fish
[KS] If it's the roof of your mouth we're talking about, the answer is to change your brand of pancake mix pronto.
Merry Christmas everyone at MC5
Happy Christmas and especial thanks be unto Rab, Rob, Dan, Dunx, Jim, Rich, Wild Pants, Yoz and all the other hosters of international silliness.
Gratitude
(SM) Hear, hear.
What SM said
Also, what Rosie said.
Christmas isn't over yet!
Merry Christmas, all!!!
I bought this CD by U2, but I want my money back. It never told me how to dismantle an atomic bomb!
Not me
Ha well you'd have thought that a spy plane would know something about it. But on further investigation it's written by a bunch of Irishmen, a nation not known for their atomic status nor for spying prowess.
2019 A day or so ago I wished a friend a happy new year to which he answered "You too."

So I echo his sentiments, late as they are, to all participants in this world of oddness.

Can't stand the pressure
(Dujon) I don't know if this sort of thing happens in Oz but the barometric pressure in the last few days in the UK has been up to 1045 mb but the weather associated with it has been some of the most boring I can remember. Saw the sun today for the first time since Christmas.
It might, Rosie, but an hPa/mb reading above 1040 at Maison Dujon is unusual, although not unheard of. High pressure systems generally produce settled weather and clear skies, but that's not always the case.

Locally we have been having a short spell of hot weather. Rather than fill this space with data, I refer you to this (rather rough) image.

You jammy git
(Duj) Those curves are quite unlike anything I get, quite apart from the warmth. On a fine day here the temperature rises very rapidly to start with then the rate tails off to a fairly smooth maximum apart from the jagged short-period variations of about one degree. What's the "apparent temperature"? It seems to be about 2° above the actual temperature, day and night. I see something rather dramatic happened in the afternoon of the last day. Cool southerlies taking over? I bet you're relieved.
Just a bit of melting chocolate
[Rosie] Apparent Temperature? It's a "feels like" approximation relating to how the human body reacts to current conditions. If you pop off to one of my web sites here and open the INFO section of the menu bar you will find a few other methods of calculating that in the middle "Bio Indexes" [sic] choice.
If you bang around the site you will find other data showing local conditions, current and historical. As far as the temperature curves, yes, it tends to trend to maximum and then descend to minimum readings at a fairly rapid rate, although the falling temperature is generally somewhat slower than the the rising one.
After two days of relatively cool maxima as I type the outside temperature is a little over 31ºC with a projected maximum of or about 35ºC.
Yeah but you're used to it
(Dujon) I've only had two 35's in 36 years, 3 Aug 90 and 10 Aug 03. Highest minimum was 20.0°C, lowest max was something I didn't think was possible, viz -9.2°C and on this day in 1987.
Used and abused via frigidity
(Rosie) -9ºC maximum? Blimey, that is a bit on the parky side. Since I've lived in this part of the country we haven't had a minimum that approaches that level of coolness. I have three Canadian cyberfriends who would giggle at that - one is in Quebec (Montreal) and the other two out west in B.C. where a maximum of -20ºC is apparently a balmy winter's day.
Warlingham, coldest place on the planet
(Duj) It was a sunny day with snow on the ground and a light easterly wind and it just wouldn't warm up. The reason lay in the air above, an import from north-west Russia. Even the high June sun falling on dry ground would have made little impression on that column of frigidity so the January sun slanting in on a snow surface had no chance. AFAIK my recording was the lowest in the country (unofficial) but if there'd been a weather station at the top of the North Downs, nearly 900 ft, it would have been colder still, the opposite of what normally happens when it gets very cold. The temperature was below freezing continuously for 11 days and stayed below -5°C for 3 days. The UK record for a low max is -19°C (Braemar, Scottish Highlands, 10/1/82). Nothing could move; all the diesel had waxed out.
Weather
[Rosie] Extremes like that don't happen here on the rock. Currently 9.6C, forecast minimum 6C. And my wife says it's cold.
La Bête de l'Est
(Softers) I'm sure there have been a few occasions when Jersey has been the hottest place in "Britain", being affected by a hot blast from France.
It's not getting much better *perspires*
(Rosie) Don't expect any short term communication. The BoM forecast for our Penrith. As a rule of thumb knock off 2ºC for Chateau Duj. Image here
As I type it's just after 1430hrs and 38.0ºC outside in the shade.
(Duj) It's about 38°F (3°C) here. The scene is brightened by a couple of inches of snow on the ground and brilliant low sunshine.
Weather
[Rosie] Hottest? Only once or twice ISTR.
Wx the second
(Rosie) For you, sir. Here. It is only January - from Christmas on to the new year it was much the same.
Where is everyone? This is not the weather channel.
[Dujon] I’m in Lithuania for a few days. A concert of Armenian music on folk instruments last night, now seeing the sights of Vilnius before coming home Sunday.
More weather, I'm afraid
Another warm, still, sunny day - up to 16°C in the grounds of Plas Huws and it's still only February. Knowing that March and early April can be utterly foul I'm not looking forward to the end of this spell.
I believe I am having a touch of hay fever. In February! 13°C here, bright sunshine, and promising so for the next few days.
(Temperature estimate from the BBC weather site, not an actual thermometer in my garden.)
(Raak) Assuming you're in Naarj I'd say the temperature was a little higher than that - possibly 15-16°C. Max 15.9° here in the Elevated Surrey Desert.
Even more weather, alas
It's been 18.8°C in the grounds of Plas Huws today, a February record (for here) by some distance, the previous best being 17.0°C in Feb 98. I even had the back door open, unheard of in Feb.
It's summer, that's what it is.
Summer what, Raak?
[Dujon] It's icumen in.
(Duj) It's already come in. 20.8°C here this afternoon. This is higher than the average max for June. You may laugh.
Same in Glasgow, where Gorbals' warming is now obvious.
Why would I laugh, Rosie? If you thought that I might, then I suspect you would break into loud guffaws should I reveal how often the minimum temperature at Castille Duwhan dropped below the freezing point (of water). ;)
If it will make you feel any better it's 11:00 on Wednesday as I type; The outside shade temperature is 22.1ºC. As we use the meteorological seasons in this country, this coming Friday is the first day of our Autumn (as opposed to the equinox on 2019-03-21 08.59 my summer time *bring out George Gershwin or it'll be too late*).
It's grim up north
(Dujon) It freezes overnight here on an average of 39 days a year and stays below freezing all day on 3 days.
Our hot very mild spell has ended. March will probably be 'orrible, wet and cold with an average temperature about 6°C with sleet and floods. (That's not a forecast, it's a miserablism).
Water, water everywhere
I came across this today:

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190310-why-britains-rain-cant-sustain-its-thirst

Is it that serous? It must be admitted that more people means more use of water. Ergo, reduce the population? Stop all immigration? One child per couple? A shower per person per month? Desalinate the Atlantic and the North Sea?

To save you from a cut-and-paste exercise, the link is: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20190310-why-britains-rain-cant-sustain-its-thirst
My apologies for the carelessness.
Dehydration
(Duj) The average annual rainfall here at Hughes Hall since 1983 is 822 mm, considerably more that the 500-600 mentioned in the link for SE England and there is no significant trend over the period. It's not enough partly because a huge amount leaks from the mains and partly because people are extravagant with it, laying it out to dry in the garden for instance. Metering ought to be compulsory.
Metering, leeks etc ;)
Yes, Rosie, metering here is compulsory. In other words you pay for what you use. Then again, my son who lives about a half-hour drive to my west does not have reticulated water - he has a 50,000 litre storage tank system (i.e. water collected from his roof). Many households have the same, regardless of reticulation.

As an aside, I have a solar panel array on my roof, even though I have electricity 'piped' to my residence. It will take some years to pay off the initial investment, but it sure as heck saves me and the grid many KiloWatt hours of usage.

This just in: Solar panels designed to secretly suck power out of the grid during night hours. Power companies implicated in complex billing scam. Film at eleven.
Orlando area Florida fields were awash in solar panels last summer. Everywhere here wasn't an amusement park or timeshare complex, there was a few acres of solar panelage. I even saw an enormous solar panel installation to one side of a development that had yet to break ground as far as housing went.
It's all those condominiums, Stevie. Are you not aware that they soak up all the infrared radiation during the day and, come evening, release the stored energy to heat the beaches?
Pythons
(Duj) penult. Here, we just call it the mains. Quite harmless.
Slithering and Winding
(Rosie) Not to my wallet it isn't.
Prayers, please
I know I've not been here in a long time. Right now, the main reason being my sister Briana (Giertrud here) is in the hospital. I brought her to the doctor on March 25 afraid of signs of concussion and her doctor sent her to the ER. She was sent to a room and a night later went into respiratory distress. She was on a ventilator and sedated for a few days because she had a rare form of pneumonia. The doctor thinks that is gone, but she still can't seem to breathe on her own, her temperature keeps going down and they don't know why, and now, she can't seem to swallow either. We need prayers for the doctors to be able to figure out what is going wrong and know how to fix it and also for Briana to get better.
Oh, when she went into respiratory distress, they sent her to the ICU. They tried sending her to a floor, but her temperature was staying low and she still couldn't breathe. Hopefully things will be better this time, but she does have a nasal cannula and she also has an NG tube feeding her right now.
Ok, we're on it.
[KagomeShuko] That is distressing news. I do hope there is a positive outcome for you both.
(KagomeShuko) I hope they can discover the problem and can fix it not just for her sake but for yours and everyone here.
Giertrud
[KagomeShuko] any updates?
Water, water everywhere
Since about 3 a.m. Monday we've had 3.8 inches of rain here. My gauge nearly overfloweth but not quite. This afternoon it took me over 10 minutes to drive 0.7 mile locally, all in bottom gear, along the mighty B269 which like every other road round here has blocked drains, Surrey CC being too impoverished to clear them.
Pluvation
[Rosie] Tsk. Brexit fever has robbed you of your hard-learned Metric abilities. No longer able to measure things in milli-hogsheads per pascal-coulomb you revert to the anachronistic inches. Good for you. Like putting on an old pair of slippers. Pleasant once you get past the two-bob bit in the lining of the right one.
I shall attempt to have someone record the amount of wet that will fall on us during the Stevielings Open-Air Nuptials in Florida at the end of June. Fearing the worst I have arranged for the congregation to lurk within tent. A tent with no sides so that they will be lured into a false sense of weatherproofing until the winds pick up. Bwa-ha and I might venture an additional "ha" into the bargain.
Heatwave a-coming
Midday 18°C, evening 27°C. Tomorrow and the rest of the week forecast 35°C, and this is only Belgium. Cat dehydrated, am attempting dripfeed with milk.
Heatwave abandoned
(Bismarck) We will miss the heatwave by about two hundred miles (i.e. a meteorological hair's breadth). Shame - I was looking for a genuine excuse not to do much except gawp at thunderstorms.

Is milk the best thing for cats? A lot of people don't seem to think so. Put a dirty old frying pan out in the garden with some water in it - he'll go for it.

[Rosie] The essence of experimentation has the subject's welfare only tangentially in mind.
The milk of human kindness
For cats, Rosie, it is not. I have been advised so over the years by various veterinarians. The cats over those years who deigned to live with us have been offered only water. They drink very little of it. Perhaps they collect enough of the stuff from the food that they eat - or maybe the few shallow trays we keep topped up in the garden for the use of our avian friends.
Beware of the cat
(Dujon) A cat's paw moves faster than light if it means business. Are the little dickies aware of this?
[Dujon] Perhaps they drink very little of it because they keep waiting for the milk!
The defeat of Einstein
[Rosie] Yes they are. In all my time here I have not come across a bundle of feathers in my gardens. Nor has my wife, the gardener of the Dujon Estate. I put down that to the calls some birds make when danger is imminent, particularly from the colloquially named 'Noisy Miner'.

[CdM] Given that most of them there cats lived to seventeen years on average, I have to doubt that supposition. :)

AFPD
Hidden text absolutely fucking pissing down
at Plas Huws 'round midnite. We seem to be under a line of heavy showers. "Hazardous driving conditions" for those who have never driven in rain before.
Happy birthday, "A Sticky End". It is exactly one year since you last had a move played.
[Raak] With good reason, it must be said.
Annual checkin
Hello. Apologies once again for my continuing absence. Yes, there's a been a server upgrade. So you will see some ‘tésting’.

Hmmm... seems to be going a bit too smoothly...

Still here?
It's surprising how much stuff you can delete...
Checking in
*Beep*
Unexpected item in the bagging area
Itemised
[Electronic Voice] Expect the unexpected.
Sticky End
dah dah de dah de dah de dah, da da da da da tissue???
Blank look
[blamelewis] Musical sneezing?
Din B Denby
[blamelewis] Delius with a cold?
Hello, I still exist
[blamelewis] MAP, 0 in Morse code?
(Kn) That's good, but how are your knees?
Hmmm
At first I had no memory of what the hell I was talking about. Troubling. It was a suggested move/rhyme for the moribund Sticky End game.
Hipster
Just been back to Paris, and saw a shop selling quinoa vodka. How hipsterish is that?
Nipster
Just been back to sunny Lincolnshire to visit family and friends and for a project meeting for a new annual festival for which I volunteer my comms expertise (Louth Pie Day, in case you're hungry). As part of that, I met up with the wife of a guy I worked for 7 years after I graduated. Their son and daughter (mere dots when I worked there) are about to set up a VERY Lincolnshire flavoured business.
Potato vodka.
I'm interested to konw what that entails - I hestitated to write 'artisan potato vodka' because I knew some clever bottom would ask me what an artisan potato is.
Slavic booze
(pen) Ferment spuds in a freshly cleaned dustbin. Transfer, using a bucket, to a 50-litre flask and fractionate carefully by distillation. You can make it as strong as you like. No additives allowed. Potatoes are intrinsically artisan as are dustbins and buckets. Note - I have done a fair amount of "bucket chemistry" as it is termed.
Vespula vulgaris
55 years and 4 days on this planet without being stung by bees or wasps, until now. A pesky wasp was hiding in my top.
Wodka
[pen] I thought that *all* vodka is made from potatoes. You use grains, you get whisk(e)y. You use grapes you get brandy. You use spuds you get vodka. You use old tea bags, banana peels or beetroot*, you get what you deserve.

* - As per a bloke on the same corridor in Waveny Terrace as me in my 2nd year at UEA. If it stopped moving, he fermented it and drank the results. Heart of gold. Nerves of steel. Bowels of water.

Manic fermenter
(Stevie) A choleric personality, then?
Not much you can't make booze from if you try hard enough. Elderflower champagne? Actually rather nice if you can do it without exploding bottles everywhere
potato peelings
My first taste of poteen was during the beginning of my second career (in comms) sitting at my desk, offered by my boss. Sadly all I could smell were rotting potato peelings, an odour I'd had a professional interest in since my first career as a lab technician, analysing waste water from veg processing plants.
I guess if you're desperate for a drink then it'll do the job. or you could put it in tea or coffee.
Strange idea of your PR boss coming around with something a) homebrewed b) alcoholic c) of uncertain content and expecting you to drink it - was he an Irishman trying to pick you up?
Sorry, I've been amiss
Sorry that I've been amiss. Things with Briana (Giertrude) haven't been great and I've been job searching. Briana has gone back and forth. They had her eating, but things were getting beyond difficult for me with being a caretaker. I've needed space for years, but I love my sister, so I wouldn't NOT take care of her. They got her into a group home and she's had to be transferred to a different one that is not as close to me as the first one. She was at the first one and eating and she started having problems breathing, so they sent her to the hospital. She had aspiration pneumonia. They did some swallow tests on her and they found that her epiglottis (the part that closes off in your throat so you can swallow without choking on or breathing in your food) isn't working. She has a PEG tube (feeding tube) inserted into her stomach so she can be fed. She needs 24/7 nursing care, so that's why she is now in a different group home, but it's a two hour drive from where I live. She's had to have her dogs given to a foster who is looking for a new home for them. And I'm still job searching. I can't get out to see her if i don't have money.
[KS] Sympathy. You're going through something terrible. I am sorry. Got a fund page we could chip in to?
Sympathy
[KS] 8o(
[KS] So sorry to hear that. I do hope things improve soon for you and your sister, and offer a hug if you are ever in my vicinity.
Funds . . . blech
[Superman] I don't have a fund page. Whenever I have one, people don't tend to chip in - I may get a few dollars here or there, but it's never enough. I hate fund pages by now, partly because of that, but then I learned that they basically run by taking money that is donated because they all take a percentage from what is donated that could be going to the person or people who really do need that money. It's not like a hope thing with Kickstarter. Sadly, things are not going well. She's been admitted to the hospital out where she was. Then she's been released. I've not been given updates like the group home organization promised. I only found out that she had been admitted to the hospital because a nurse called me when Briana (Giertrud) was asking to talk to me.
Weather - others need not read
(Rosie) Rain December 2019 - 0.3mm: Rain 2019 - 500.2mm: Rain Days 2019 - 78. Yesterday 2019-12-31 max temp 43.6ºC (110.5ºF). Phew!
Good day to hang out the washing
(Dujon) Forty-three? Faaaakinell. 8.3° here - rather mild, a bit misty, hardly any wind, boring really. Rainfall 141 mm this month so garden a bit sodden. Swapsies? I hope the inferno is nowhere near you.
The new normal
[Rosie] Temperatures in the mid 40s are rapidly becoming commonplace here. At this point the amount of Australia that has burned is about 44,000 km2. That's more than the area of Switzerland. Or more than two Waleses, if you prefer. Here in Melbourne we have so far been spared any serious impact, but I suspect things are much scarier in Dujon's neck of the woods.
[KS] Sorry to hear that things are so tough for you. Hang in there.
Wrung out?
(Rosie) We're fine at the moment, thanks, other than some pretty severe smoke being intermittently in evidence. That doesn't mean that we are not alert to what is going on around us; the 'local' fires are not all that far from us, and we are practised in packing suitcases and shoving the cat into its carry basket.
(CdM) I don't think your comment regarding the mid-forties becoming more common is true - not here anyway. In fact it's not common to have max. temps. at 40ºC. I shall have to dig into my data base to check that, but I am sure that I am correct.
Degrees of hotth
[Dujon] I'm glad that you are OK (at least for now); I do always keep a particular eye out when fires seem to be approaching your neighbourhood. I should know better than to present to you and Rosie a vague impressionistic generalisation about the weather in the form of a fact-checkable statement! Guilty as charged. I suppose it all depends on your definition of "mid" and "commonplace". :) We do know that Australia has just experienced its hottest year on record and in December experienced the two hottest days on record. We had two days above 40 here in Melbourne last month, and while that's certainly not unprecedented, it's definitely unusual for December.
How warm has it been recently?
(CdM) Fires are more caused by extreme dryness and the density and type of vegetation than by heat alone though of course heat and dryness are often associated. There have been fires in Britain, nearly always in early spring after a very dry winter. This is the problem of using proxies - some are very sensitive to environmental change whereas others have a multitude of causes and may tell you very little. By far the safest assessment is to use measured and quality-controlled data and proper analysis will tell you if anything's happening. (It is. It's getting warmer)
Where have the archives gone?
I clicked the "See More" button on the front page, and only got games up to February 2016.
Fake Views
[Raak] I can see back to 2003. Oh look, The Beige Allegro!
Old games, yes, but it seems recently we've been getting too shy about killing games off. I think all the sites might benefit from greater turnover.
[SM] 'sbeen that way for years, they just tend to dwindle into total inertia. Presumably because no-one feels like sufficiently involved in a given game enough to be the person to end it. I fear there aren't many budding ideas waiting to be started though (I'd love to be wrong).
Not just involvement, it's respect for the denizens of this universe in following their lead. Make it clear that anyone has the right to kill off a game, and that running a new version of an old game us not a problem. Also rules for the bloody ostrich game and Wigwam would be useful.
Can't stand the pressure
Barometers - tap! Mine reads the highest I have ever seen it - 1048 mb. (Dujon) This is one meteorological element in which we beat you hands down. The other one is low pressure. UK record is 925 mb (Scotland of course). I don't think it was caused by global warming, not in 1884, part of a cool stormy decade.
Pressure? What pressure?
Pressure at ours: max was about 1044mb according to my neighbour's weather station. I can see it on the roof opposite from my kitchen window.
(pen) Try the first full page chart here.
Synoptic situations wait for no man or woman
(pen) Too late - you've missed it. There was a 1050 centre over Belgium. A paltry 1047 now.
[Rosie] In NY in the last four days it has been roast city, intolerable heat, sweatbox weather, then snow. It would seem that the weather system hereabouts now functions the same way the pop-o-matic does for certain board games; three numbers the same then one properly random one.
(Stevie) That's North America for you. What you need is an ocean round you - moderation in all things.
[Rosie] I'll have you know I have the same ocean round my part of North America as you do in Standalone Great (Again) Britain. The Long Island Sound is part of the Atlantic doncher know.

I don't mind snow, I just want it to be proper snow, not "here's an inconvenience to bugger up Saturday" snow. There wasn't even enough to make firing up Troll (the Snowblower of Supreme Spiffiness) worthwhile. Too much to shovel manually, though. I used the Toro electric snow broom I had for years before I got serious about snow removal.

Crystalline water substance
(Stevie) Shurely proper snow is not just going to bugger up Saturday but the whole weekend and very likely the LIRR to boot.
a) I use Troll, the Snowblower of Supreme Spiffiness to get rid of it once it stops falling. Two hours tops.

2) Snow on Saturday = shopping trips replaced by marathon Netflix sessions.

þ) LIRR broken? Stay-at-home day!

♣) Monday was a holiday anyway.

(Stevie) Excellent attitude. Similar to my Rain = Don't have to do any gardening.
[Rosie] Florida is cooler than it sometimes is this time of year, but still shirt-sleeve weather to this son o' the Midlands. No rain (yet - like cockroaches, it's always there waiting to make a pleasant time less so). This year we are infested with a band of thoughtless pricks all driving the same model of humongous pick-up (and all bearing New York plates wouldn'tcha know) and parking so inconsiderately that we've had to park several spaces away from our villa. Plenty of space if they'd stop being gits. I saw one of them wander out on Saturday night and almost hurled. Grossly obese with folds of fat tumbling down, it was wearing only a pair of jeans and *they* were at half-mast. Jesus! I've describe things that should not be in my Call of Cthulhu game that were less vomit-inducing.

On the plus side, the Stevieling and Mr Stevieling are thriving as a married couple, so somewhere the balance is in, er, balance. I brought some trains with me this time. British trains! Bit o' cork-faced foamcore, some old set-track from 30 years ago and the Minitrix Britannia will steam again! As will the Farish 97xx, the Dapol 57xx and 14xx and sundry BR diesels in intercity livery. Going to experiment with Peco's uncoupling gadget. It isn't as clever as Kaydee knuckles but the rolling stock is so light I dunno that knuckles would work properly anyway. When working right they allow some eye-popping shunting moves with only one uncoupling magnet. I'll have to seed a yard with Peco uncoupling magnets for a similar flexibility. On the plus side, the Peco device is supposed to work with the dreadful Rapido couplings fitted to the stock.

(Stevie) Magnetic couplings? Blimey, there's posh. Wouldn't last long if a big 28xx got hold of them. BTW I have seen 97xx's at Paddongton. They used to go down the Tube to Moorgate, condensing their exhaust. Horrible to drive; no draught, no steam.

I used to know a barman whose surname was Barrett. Trousers at half-mast I thought of him as Bumcrack Barrett. One of the things about being old is you never need be a fashion victim.

Cockup
That big station I mentioned is Paddington, not Paddongton, which sounds a bit phallic and not something the starchy old GWR would approve of.
[Rosie] Well the results have been mixed. I won't have time to construct the test bed needed for the uncoupling magnet thing. The new Dapol 57xx and the new-then-stored-for-years Dapol 14xx run super smoothly over set-track including a dead-frog point. Astounding for an N scale 0-4-2. The two Dapol prairie tanks run slightly less smoothly, but are still impressive. The Farish 97xx I bought to replace the warping and hideously manufactured one I bought when I was 17 runs impressively smoothly too (and for some reason looks prettier on hte track than any of the other locos, even though the others are manufactured to a finer finish), as does the $20 from eBay class 08. The one I bought for just over 20 quid in '91 will sometimes not run in reverse, so I took the body off to diagnose the issue. During the testing, which did not uncover the problem, the spring from the rear coupler launched itself into oblivion and it seems they are impossible to replace these days. Another success there, then. And the Britannia runs very roughly. I think I will have to strip it down to clean the wiper contacts. It is all very annoying.

I want to do shunting operations with this kit, so I need a reliable coupler that can be remotely uncoupled. I think the kaydee knucles that work so well on US pattern stock won't work on the UK 10ft wheelbase stock because the action is one of lateral force applied by magnets and I think the lightweight UK wagons will simply derail. The Peco device is a metal strip that attaches to the rapido coupler, lifting it when the magnet is energised. Only thing is, they are only guaranteed to work with Peco unsprung couplers. Most of my rolling stock is fitted with sprung couplers.

Oh well.

Pressure
(Rosie) I've not been ignoring you; my Internet connection went walkabout for a couple of weeks. That's 'phone, e-mail - the lot.
As far as pressure is concerned you are quite correct for readings at my humble abode.
Being boring
(Rosie) It's 15:55 as I type - temp = 44.4ºC. Perhaps CdM is right.
(Dujon) Well, it's over 44.4 here. Wait a minute; that's Fahrenheit.
It's been a mild and rather boring January here - mean temperature 6.2, 1.9 above average. BTW the pressure reached 1050 for a few hours in S. Wales on the 19th. (World record is 1084, NW Russia, 31 Dec 1968).
need a job, need a job, need a job . . .
*sigh* I'm so busy job searching. I am a teach on VIPkid, but I can't do the overnights that are required. I tried and it just didn't work for me. I MIGHT be able to do them sometimes, but I definitely couldn't support myself with that job. I really need a job, so prayers, good wishes, good vibes, etc, are definitely appreciated because I need something in my time zone . . . or at least in a U.S. time zone that might just make things a little off. Or a decently paying independent contractor job. The problem is that many of those don't pay decently.
online presence . . . or is that presents?
Does anybody here use Facebook or Instagram? Just curious . ..
[KagomeShuko] Facebook, I've left my account to rot, and I find it increasingly creepy how much it continues to 'follow' me about. A pox on Zuckerberg and all his spawn. Instagram, no. I've got a Nerdica account I've never used and a slight Pluspora presence.
(SM) This (and the Other Place)is the nearest I get to Social Media, though I've had some useful interactions on YouTube comment threads.
Ciara the Storm
Other than the strange name for the storm, most of the footie in B and NL got called off. So far a bit blowy here, but hardly a storm.
Getting quite windy here now. From the Met Office there is what is referred to on my weather group as a "Custard Warning", i.e. areas affected are coloured yellow. On the 0030 Radio 4 forecast Helen Willetts said the storm would be "impactful". Helen, you're a poet. Now sod off and speak English.
Naming storms like this, apart from being cheesy, is meteorologically unsound as they have much less of a singular identity than a tropical hurricane and can split up and do all sorts of funny things.
Gusts over 60 mph here, so far no trees damaged in the area, though elsewhere there has been quite some damage.
From flames to floods
It seems as though your weather is as barmy as ours. After all the hot temperatures and bushfires we have now inundation. Yesteryear we had a total of 500.2mm of rainfall. Less than six weeks into the new year we have already had 534mm of drips and drops on our roof tops.
(Dujon) I had a look at OZBOM, excellent as usual, but it seems I've just missed the action. I find it more difficult to interpret synoptic charts for semi-tropical latitudes than for areas like Britain. Maybe just a case of what you're used to.
Your rainfall of 534 mm in 6 weeks is phenomenal. That's about 13 mm a day,every day. The "best" I've done in that style is 574 mm in three months, winter 2013-14.
Monthly anniversary
(Rosie) Just an update for you. Jan - 95.8mm; Feb - 552.4mm; Mar ro date - 69.5mm; Total for year-to-date 717.7mm.
Stop boasting
(Dujon) February 552 mm. No answer to that. What were temperatures like during your monsoon?
Deflated
Not being boastful, Rosie, just celebrating. To answer your question re February, rain in mm and max temp in brackets ºC:
7th - 73.2 (32.4) ; 8th - 107.6 (35.6) ; 9th - 203.0 (36.7} ; 10th - 49.5 (42.2) ; 13th - 36.4 (31.9)
There were 16 rain days in the 29-day month, so the balance was scattered around the remaining 24 days.
Hot showers
(Dujon) Presumably the temperature was a lot below the maximum each day while the rain was actually falling. Looking at the figures I'd say they were all pretty violent thunderstorms. I'm extremely envious.
Nilpresent
Sorry I keep dipping in and out of this place. I had hoped to join in a bit more after creating a more mobile-friendly skin. You can find it here but be warned. It’s somewhat experimental and plays fast and loose with flex-based layouts, which seem to be supported idiosyncratically across browsers. (My css was never that great anyway). I know for a fact it doesn’t work on Internet Explorer, if anyone actually still uses that, but it seems ok on Firefox, Chrome, Safari etc, as well whatever the latest stock Android browser is (I think).

Give it a whirl, tell me what you think, and if it works for enough people I might make it the default.

Skins
Not exactly the colour scheme I would have chosen, and what is that enormous decorative font? But it works (Samsung phone with Chrome browser). The automatic bold & italic is a major step into the Century of the Fruitbat, thanks!
Technicolor
Not sure it's the colour scheme I would have chosen either :) Being colour blind I always have difficulty choosing colour palettes. Most of the colours came with Bootstrap (which does the responsive mobile goodness), but there are a few that are specific to this site. If you have a css editor extension in your browser, the relevant attributes are the background in the .rab-bg-head, .rab-bg-flip and .rab-bg-flop classes. These cover the bluey tones that appear on the front page, and the top of the game page. The color attribute of .rab-bg-head a, .rab-bg-flip a and .rab-bg-flop a classes controls the colour that the links on the front page appear. If you come up with some better numbers than the ones I did, feel free to share!

The enormous decorative font is called Merienda. Again I can tone down the size if it's too much. (And if it's too much, you should have seen the first one I played with for a while...)

Weirdness
There's something going on here that I don't understand...
Weirditude
Is it to do with having very few cars running, local deliveries available and very few aircraft flying? Yes, as you suspected, you're in a time warp - this is the 1970's again, but this time you're old!
Don't talk to me about old. For blokes, it's the time that every bit of your body starts going stiff except the one bit you actually want to. Call that fair?
Have any of ever you become dog owners for the first time in your 50s? The windy miller and I are both now working at home for the foreseeable, and I anticipate that even after September I'll be working from home quite a bit. We're thinking seriously about it.
A friendly, middle-aged, middle-sized rescue dog of indeterminate breed would do us fine.
Any thoughts?
Who let the dogs in?
[pen] I'd say go for it. The dog will soon have you quickly trained. Alas, I am no longer a dog owner in my 50s, which has set me down the road of possibly looking for another.
Well I'd volunteer for the position myself, but I don't have a waggy enough tail. Go for it.
Aging
[Pablo] I know what you mean. My upper lip is not what it used to be.
Stiffness
(Pablo) Fair? Depends how much you spread your seed earlier. That doesn't include the bedroom floor BTW. Try being 77 and hoping for some gloriously horny old bat to turn up. It can happen.

I'm beginning to notice that the lockdown is having an effect (on me at least) similar to large quantities of alcohol in that inhibition is disappearing. Do other morniversers notice this? Who wants a fuck?

[Rosie] As I understand the Human Condition, everyone wants a fuck, but no-one is willing to give one.
Pwy eisio ffwc
(Stevie) Shurely I at least have indicated my willingness to attempt the required act. Success, of course, cannot be guaranteed.
Still ROFLMAO at your second item. Top drawer.
[Rosie] Er, something about alcohol increasing the desire but decreasing the performance? I believe you can get good beer goggles online these days ;-)
(Pablo) Androgen Deprivation Therapy Is even more effective but I've just come off it after 3 years. Hooray!
[Rosie] Ow! that sounds diabolical
Bollocks, irrelevance of
(Pablo) Doesn't hurt, just reduces the libido (to about zero). Some men sprout tits but fortunately I didn't. A prostate cancer needs male hormone in order to grow. Deprive it and it goes "to sleep" and can then be zapped with radiotherapy. It seems to have worked. Well done the Royal Marsden.
Irrelevant bollocks or not, [Rosie], that's excellent news.
(pen) Tiz, innit. I look forward to putting the improvement into practice.
[Rosie] Good news indeed. Sometimes libido reduction just happens, no drugs needed. Wish it didn't. Or maybe red wine counts as a drug?
(Pablo) I don't expect at my age to go round shafting anything that moves (and certain things that don't) but it's nice to have a bit more energy, you could say.
Prayers if you pray, please
First, Giertrud is in the ICU in the hospital in the city with the nearest hospital to the group home where she has been. Same issues that she's been having and is on oxygen. Was so sick that they thought she was non-verbal when she was admitted.

Second, that I do well with my new job. I REALLY need and am very thankful for it. I pray I do well and I hope it leads into me being able to do something that I really WANT to do. I have a few things and it might just be the company that I need to be with in order to get things going.
[Rosie]
Hidden textRiiiight. So will the pornhub servers be featuring a "Hot'n'Horny Retired Chemist Action" category soon? Will "checking the raingauge" become a Rule-34 meme?
Found my old Mammod traction engine in the basement and decided to fire the old girl up to check she was in good repair after years sitting in a box.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.
(Stevie) Not quite yet. You see, most people think I look about 6O but I know better. Rain-gauge? No activity all month ym Mhlas Huws. Forgotten how to do it. That's another thing.
(KagomeShuko) Best wishes for your new job and for your poor sister.
Decided to use the new Air Fryer to make a hamburger while Mrs Stevie was looking after her mother.

The burns are healing nicely, thank you.

[KagomeShuko] we're on the case.
Burnt hamburgers
Ah, the airfryer. It’s our patriotic duty right now to eat our bodyweight in potatoes every week to save the Dutch potato farmers whose produce is no longer being made into chips and eaten by hordes of diners and visitors. Airfryer chips/frites/frieten/patat every other night, innit?
Chips should be deep fried in beef dripping. There is no argument that can be effective against doing so.
The Flood
Bugger! My May drought has been ruined by a brief shower Saturday lunchtime, amounting to 0.2 mm and therefore counting as a rain day. It still might be my driest month EVER, as people say, the Universe having been created in 1983.
Deadly dripping
[Stevie] I’d like to live a long time AND eat chips. Beef dripping is summingelse, although I’m not too keen on the lingering greasy sensation around the chops afterwards. As my dear daddy used to recite - and humour me here because we grew up 15 miles from Grimsby which had its own fishing port town reputation at the time - :
Little girls from Grimsby
Blue eyes and cherry lips
Every time you kiss them
They taste of fish and chips.
(pen) Nothing wrong with that. Award yourself an LLB, Lincolnshire Lip Balm. Sooooo much nicer than garlicky breath.
[penelope] And your point is? I agree wholeheartedly and unreservedly with Rosie. Watch out for avian pigs.
Lincs Lip Balm
[Rosie] I guffawed! (which looks like it might be a Welsh word but I bet it isn't and now I have to go google its etymology.)
Linguistic indeterminacy
(pen) It does rather, doesn't it, but it's not in my copy of Y Geiriadur Mawr, ("The Big Wordery"). It can join my other favourite warthog. Incidentally arthog literally means bear-like and as in English the sub-text is "grumpy". BTW can't wait to hear you guffaw.
It's awfully quiet in here. Is everyone well?
[pen] The usual ta. My Chambers Dictionary says guffawed is onomatopoeic, disappointingly.
(pen) I'm very well, thanks, but bored stiff. Could do with a bit of conversation.
[pen] Well, how's Project Dog coming along?
Doggone
[Simons] Had two hot leads this week (see what I did there?) but one (Stanbijhoun/Collie cross) was withdrawn from sale and the other (wire-haired fox terrier) was sold before we could go over to see it. We keep searching, and some friends are putting the word out for us too - which might prove more fruitful.
Projects Foo.
Well I have just enacted Project Beer and Project Less Hair, but I really ought to get on with Project Barstools, Project Chair and Project Plates. I have been having a smashing time recently. I should also enact Project Washing Up, but I particularly hate that one. But no space for a dishwasher, unfortunately.

Project Star Wars Rulebook is in the home straight, but that's a marathon, and there's still weeks at least before I'll finish it. Especially as there's content I'd like to farm out into a couple of other books which are barely into draft stage.

thankful for job, but it is very tiring
I am so thankful that I have a job and that I can work from home with this virus being so rampant, and especially now, that the area where I live has one of the highest rates of people infected with the virus (I don't go out and do all that much as it is - I prefer small gathers, but even those are happening much). Anyway, though, this job is tiring. I worked 50+ hours last week. I need to spend some time putting out job proposals when I happen to have time. I'm praying that I can start teaching theatre online somehow - and be paid for it, not just independently.
[KS] How is Giertrud?
Not well
Thanks for asking. She's not doing well. She's still about a three hour drive away from where I am. They want to move her into a nursing home because they said her medical issues are too much for her to go back to the group home. In a way, I think she will be happier, but I also worry about her. She's not supposed to eat anything by mouth, and she is very hard headed about what she wants to do and I worry she'll get a hold of food or the nursing home will make a mistake and give her food and then she'll eventually not make it because somebody won't catch her pneumonia. I'm quite angry at the medical community in Louisiana right now since nobody had actually tried to find what is wrong now and they just keep tossing her from place to place.
Giertrud
8o(
Giertrud
What Stevie emojied.
System update
My usual "system update" check 'post' also for funny stuff
Giertrud
Giertrud called me recently. She is now at the nursing home Legacy in Plaquemine, Louisiana. She sounded much better and much happier than she has been for a long time. She told me that they did a swallow test and that this time it was different as they put a camera up her nose and watched her eat live. She said that they give her a medicine to break up secretions and that it tastes bitter. However, it seems to help. She said that when she eats, they saw that secretions seem to pool in her throat. She told me that they are going to soon try to allow her to eat soft foods for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She's been going to speech and physical therapy and there is somebody who helps her remember how to brush her brush her teeth. She also said that she sleeps sitting up. That might help with the secretions.

We actually talked for over a half hour. I could mainly understand her. The conversation didn't get too repetitive. She's in room 421 and she loves her 420 jokes, so of course she had to say it was a minute past time to smoke marijuana. We mainly talked about the dogs and dogs that we've had. She didn't dwell too much on Krueger and Nala and agreed if she is ever able to come home, small dogs like chihuahuas are much better for her. They at least have to be calmer.

So, I'm praying that she is finally in a place that can help her get better. Who knows what will happen if she gets better, but right now, not much really matters with this virus.

I'm sure the nursing home environment is better for her than the group home. She was actually out in a public area and able to call me.
Giertrud
(KagomeShuko) I wish her the best and I'm sure the whole Morniverse does too. Maybe things are on the up. We all hope so.
(KagomeShuko) That does sound like a positive improvement. My best wishes to you both.
Maybe not so positive, maybe okay
So, it seems like the issue with Giertrud isn't going away. I got a call from the nursing home/rehab facility and they said they were sending Briana to the hospital because it seemed like she aspirated. I don't know what that will mean for her eating. I know she was thrilled to be eating again.
Hurricane Laura
Hey all. So, when they called for the mandatory evacuation from Lake Charles, I picked up a few things and got out. I didn't take time to pack up tons of things. I didn't want to get stuck at home or in traffic. I went north and found myself in West Monroe, Louisiana. I found one single hotel room. It was literally THE hotel with a room vacancy that I could find. Somebody had ended up cancelling that night. So, I had my service dogs, no change of clothes, and my laptop, basically. I had a few other things, but I couldn't pack up everything because of my back problems and not wanting to get stuck in the traffic or in heavy rain. Lake Charles is in awful condition. My house had a tree fall through the roof of the back of my rooms. So, the roof and ceiling is all ruined in two main rooms, maybe a little bathroom, and a little area where a file cabinet can fit. Some people have helped me with donating some money so I could get some clothes and eat and should be able to travel when I check out of the hotel on September 4th. My job is one that I do from home as it is. At first, I thought I wasn't happy with the company, but they have really stepped up. They payed for the hotel from the day Ii checked in and then checking out on the 4th. I will have a host up in Tennessee while Lake Charles and my house are all being repaired. Lake Charles does not have any running water or any electricity. I think it was only one life that the storm, itself, took. I know another one was taken when somebody fell off of a ladder. Most of them seem to end up being because people will get a generator, they won't get a CO alarm, and they will run the generator and they will place it somewhere they think it safe and it may seem so, but CO gas seeps into their house. That's sad and it is sad seeing all of the destruction in my hometown. I know we will rebuild, but it certainly hurts my heart.
Slings and arrows
(KagomeShuko) Life is dealing you some lousy cards just now. At least you have somewhere to stay and don't forget you will always have friends here.
Made it but sad for my city
I made it up to Tennessee. My host will be home this evening. I'm sad for Lake Charles. There are people who rode out the storm. There are people who were only able to leave for a bit while the storm hit and had to go back. They say it will be at least three weeks before electricity is restored to the city. Water is iffy and if people can get water, it is under a boil advisory . . . which, if people have electric stoves, is basically impossible for them . . .
[KagomeShuko] Let's hope this brings out the best in neighbours so they can help each other until things start to get back to normal. A colleague was with her family in Florida and was caught in the storms there a couple of years ago - she blogged in detail and very movingly about the incredible neighbourliness she experienced. I hope that happens for your community.
And don't forget to take good care of yourself too - without feeling guilty. Without that, you can't look after anyone else either.
Across the seas.
Another fortnight, another two weeks working at home, and still no closer to being able to return to the UK for a visit. (Complicated by my UK family's bubble to protect my sister who's about to start chemotherapy to complete her treatment for ovarian cancer - thankfully she should make a full recovery.)
Feeling a bit exiled TBH. Distracting myself by walking the dog loads and have raised 200 quid for Cancer Research as a result - and have lost weight - so it's not all bad.
Sad News
Giertrud passed away today.
[KS] So so sorry to hear that. You're in our thoughts.
[KS] Sad news indeed. I'm sorry for your loss.
[KS] So sorry to hear of your loss. I have just been re-reading some of her contributions here: she will be missed.
[KS] Sincere condolences.
Sorry for your loss. Very sad to hear.
Vale Giertrud.
Chin up, KS, time does heal - as I can verify (my daughter was killed earlier this year in a MVA.) You seem to have had a bad trot of late, so it's time to think positive and take care of the future. Good luck.
[Dujon] Please also accept my deep sympathy; that is just awful to hear.
Thanks, CdM, but I should not have let that slip. Grief is very personal thing, so, please, no more messages, everyone.
That is not to criticise KS as Giertrud was a contributor to the MC community.
After such a period of respectful silence, I propose that we now resume doing what made us all come here in the first place - to celebrate life, intelligence, being funny, and being too-bloody-clever-by-half with words.
You go first.
As the World Turns
I shall, penelope.
See, I've done it.
As the World turns nasty
This is the one place that keeps me sane. That and the piano.
Sanity
For me it's my collection of singing potatoes.
[SM] Are they accompanied by a Maris Piper?
Well they are now...
(Boolbar) V good. But can he do the theme from MASH?
I did wonder what Rosie was doing in the piano.
(Dan) Poking around with a screwdriver, as ever. Got a Yamaha keyboard - no strings attached, and you can play it with the headphones at two in the morning, fortified with a good slug of brandy. Some aspects of life are not bad.
[Rosie] Being able to use headphones is incredibly liberating, isn't it? To say nothing of being able to select from a wide range of voices. Since getting my Yamaha wind midi synth about 15 years ago, my sax has sat in its case, its leather pads slowly turning to stone. Every now and then I think about getting it serviced...
[Rosie] I look forward to the time you will tell us of the triumphant performance of "The Ride of the Valkyries" at 2am, the removing of the headphones to discover the blue flashing lights and banging on the door and the dawning realization that the headphone plug was not pushed all the way into the socket.

Mrs Stevie is an expert at doing this with her iPad so I get to listen to her dreadful musical theatre stuff at full blast because she did not realize that the reduced volume in the headset was due to half the signal still going to the external speakers.

Turn that bloody racket down
(Dan) Play your sax, man. It's not an instrument I can play but picking up the 'bone and giving it a whirl is most satisfying especially if you find something to play along with (stuff on YouTube usually).
(Stevie) I've occasionally forgotten to plug in and muttered to myself "this doesn't sound right" followed by "plug it in, twatface". The neighbours are upstairs, sleeping the sleep of the just, and are not disturbed, so I have ascertained.
[Simons] Do you dance the mashed potato to their tunes? Are they called the Tuber Tunes or Tater Tunes?
Has anyone gained a new skill during enforced home-staying? I've been at home for 7 months now, but worked 40 hours a week throughout.
[pen] I learned the front crawl. Actually, I had a series of lessons before lockdown, and then the pool closed, but since it opened a couple of months ago I've been practising. I can just about do a 25 metre length without stopping. The skill of breathing air and not water is the difficult part.
I've improved my typesetting and CSS skills. And finished (bar user feedback) a writing project that's been lingering for years.
I have had more work to do since I've been working from home. I'm sure my boss thinks I'll go idle otherwise.
Other than that I've learned how to play a few modern board games and apply liquid eyeliner without looking like a ham-fisted goth.
Resonance
I can now reliably get a top D on the 'bone and as a result all the windows in the house are broken.
[Boolbar] Are you interested in roleplaying games? My project was a rewrite of Star Wars 1st Edition D6.
[Simons] I've never tried. As I now live alone I needed something to do in the Covid evenings other than stare at a screen. I've been pitting my wits against various board games' solo modes.
[KagomeShuko] I'm trying to work something round 'Spud-u-kelele' but I haven't managed anything yet
As travel and eating out has been off the table for the past few months I have expanded my cooking horizons by doing a different cuisine each weekend. My youngest is fairly fussy but I've managed to do French, Spanish, Italian, Greek, Israeli, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Brazilian, Jamaican, Southern US. I've learned some new techniques and discovered some great recipes. But the waistline has taken a hammering so the adventurous cooking has stopped for a while.
New Skills?
Nothing thrilling, but I did finally get a job in May. I don't like it, but I've learned how to do the job.
Wait... that's a lot to take in...
Broken windows, liquid eyeliner, breathing water...
I wear far less make-up now BTW. I used to wear it six days a week, now only on Saturdays. I'm saving a ruddy fortune.
Glorious food
[nfras] When you start up again I've got a recommendation for a chicken recipe so simple even I can make it: a Fillipino staple called Chicken Adobo. I do have to admit, there's only about six data points on the entire graph of Things Simons Mith Has Successfully Cooked, but that's one of 'em. It's a really everyday dish, so there are many variant recipes to choose from.
[Simons] I'd love it, thanks. I like to try new foods, even if the youngest can be a pain in the bum when deciding she doesn't like it before she has tasted it.
[KS] Doing a job you don't like is really hard, so I definitely feel for you.
Mrs Nfras decided to try crocheting. She bought the wool and hooks and stuff. Anyone want some second hand wool and crochet hooks?
Chicken Adobo. I think that's the recipe I used, but there's dozens of variants readily findable online. If I did it again I'd try one of the variants that uses ground pepper rather than peppercorns. But the overnight marinade is definitely a bit to keep in. I got the recipe from a Fillipino Google plusser I used to follow, for whom adobo was a much-loved childhood dish.
Hopeless Gardeners' Corner
The past year has allowed me to ignore the garden to a great extent, but being out of work has forced me at least to plan stuff and mow the grass. The Bismarckette decided that this year's project would be tomatoes, and bought a bunch of grow-stuff necessary for the production of the red veggies-fruit-whatever. They were supposed to grow into big, fat tomatoes, but stubbornly refused to get above the smallish size, and the plants tended to brown, apparently due to a lack of calcium in the soil. This was addressed by decorating the soil with crushed eggshells (Bismarckette, success 0/10) and mixing gardeners chalk into the soil (yours truly, success 10/10). The final crop ended up with a unit price of about three quid, which is about par for the course with the Bismarckette's projects.She was then miffed to see that tomato seeds that Mrs Bismarck had thrown around the side of the house had actually grown into two full-scale tomato plants with absolutely no effort.
We've been here for fifteen years and have finally found out what the tree at the bottom of the garden is. The previous owners planted it, but it was in the shade of a massive Leylandii hedge and grew hardly at all. When we chopped the hedge down a couple of years back (as a result of The Neighbour Who Does Not Like Trees invoking a local by-law that no hedge can be more than one metre 50 tall), the tree took off and this year produced eight fruits which on inspection by the health authorities were pronounced to be quinces. Quinces are massive fruits and have a very strong pear-like perfume. Mrs Bismarck has Plans for them, though what remains to be seen.
Funnily enough, The Neighbour Who Does Not Like Trees was hoist by his own petard this year, when the inheritance of the next-door house was sorted out. The old Italian Neighbour Who Grows All His Own Food died at an advanced age last year, and his son of 75 years turned up with wife and dog. It seemed that the laurel hedge forming the border between their gardens was a matter of inches inside the wrong garden (I was called out to verify the position of the boundary markers and swear on oath that the small fence between us was mine, and not his), and he was forced to dig the lot up. They don't joke about property limits around here, I can tell you.
Now I have to research in depth the pruning of quince trees, nut trees, and figs, and also think of something to do with The Shady Patch Where Nothing Grows under The Neighbour Who Doesn't Like Christmas's hedge. Which I did not pay to have trimmed, that did NOT happen.
Skills
I'm one of the lucky ones who (a) still has a secure job and (b) can work from home. But the downside is that the WFH has been much harder work than NWFH, as I have had to adapt a lot of materials and plans for distance/online learning. My video editing skills are improving, but that's about it. Though I have welcomed the opportunity to cook and bake more: those are not new skills for me, but in recent years I had been doing less and less due to being time-poor and having lots of good restaurants and cafés nearby.
Quince Luck
[Bis] wow - a Quince! That's quite a thing to have. They are rare.
A couple or four years ago I did a fruit-tree pruning course with the local protected landscape foundation (in Dutch - I was v proud of myself) and did a few volunteer January pruning sessions in a heritage orchard. The point was to get myself out of the house on January Saturdays and get more involved in Dutch stuff. Anyway. I've successfully pruned our baby fruit trees (they all came from Aldi) and the neighbour's pear tree (which is much bigger and gave a bumper crop as a result - phew). I imagine quinces are similar in that fruit-bearing wood is last summer's growth so you only cut off enough twigs to make sure that every fruit-bearing stick is strong enough to carry the weight and that every twig can see the sun. The Dutch are pretty good at growing fruit, so maybe I've learned the high-production method, but there you go. There'll be videos on YouTube I'm sure. And it's coming up to tree-pruning season - when the trees are dormant and you really don't feel like going outside and stretching up so that your vest becomes untucked, baring your midriff flesh to the elements. Or maybe that's just me. Good luck!
Jobs are unfortunately required
[nfras] I'm at least blessed that I can do thejob as long as I have my laptop, headphones, and WiFi and that it can be done from anywhere with those things.

I work Customer Support or Restaruant Support for Bite Squad - which is a third party food delivery service like Postmates or Dash.

Restaurant support is better than Customer support, but both can get irritating. Customers complaining are the worst, though. There are some that are fine, but plenty that are very rude.
I am in sales, so working from home is not a new habit for me, and for the first time in months I have all of the kids and Mrs Nfras back at school.
My previous company decided to shut down all of APAC on the 1st of April but I was lucky to pick up another job pretty quickly. My previous manager is still not working so things are pretty tough in the job market.
Quince
I thought quince was a made-up thing eaten in medieval banquets like hippogriff or capon. Learn summat every day. Is your tree now a listed structure? Some years ago The Neighbor from Hell broke another of our fences so we decided to replace the lot, had the land re-surveyed and it turned out we owned about 12" of one corner that had been on the other side of the broken fence. Then, he put up chainlink alongside our stockade fence. Why, I'll never know since by code we had to show him the pretty side. Now TNFH periodically trims the honeysuckle that grows between our fences and throws the debris over into our yard, presumably because he has forgotten that we fenced to the property line so the vines are growing on *his* land. Total git.
Quincey moans
(Stevie) I have two quince bushes in my garden and at this time of year they drop their fruit which are yellow and somewhat smaller than a cricket ball. One year I thought I'd have a look at them. They're as hard as nails and if you really chucked one at someone it wouldn't do them a lot of good. Heavy equipment is needed to open one then you find a large cavity full of seeds and a tooth-breaking outer part with a pH of about 0 like conc. sulphuric. I would have more success making jam out of boiled-up breeze blocks than I would out of these buggers.
Man up you blokes
Have any of you participated in the delightful sport of cracking macadamia nuts? This a tough game involving plenty of hilarity for spectators, loads of frustration for the nominated cracker and much exuberance exhibited by all when the aim is achieved.
(Dujon) Macadamia? Isn't that what road surfaces are made from? Not surprising they're hard to crack. Maybe that's a British joke.
Appropriate apparel for the discerning player.
Yeah, Rab! :)
November?
How the hell did that happen? Here I am, sitting in my home office (the top bedroom) eating instant noodles at my desk and working through lunch again as if it was perfectly normal and I had been doing it for for nearly nine months.
Which I have.
Lunch?
Oh, is that why everyone else disappears for an hour and leave me to take all the phone calls...
Instant noodles
[Boolbar] Phone calls? I don't talk to anyone anymore.
[penelope] Good policy. You wouldn't believe how much bollocks people are talking these days.
The Stevieling and Mr Stevieling celebrated their first anniversary in lockdown.

That'll be one to tell the grandchildren, assuming there are still human beans on the planet by then.

Lockdown . . .
I can hardly wait until this pandemimc is over. I know, we can't have a timeline because who knows when it will be over. I still hate this and REALLY want to be able to hug people again.
An Election
People on my street are now out on the walkways in front of their houses making noise with whatever's to hand: pan lids and ladles are popular. Many still in their pyjamas. In the rain, I might add.
(Dan) Glad you live in a civilised place but what about Banjo Crossing, S. Dakota? ©P G Wodehouse.
Wodehouse really is timeless, isn't he? Effortfully, I will be brief: Nothing has changed about the Dakotas.
Boring up here
I'm still in Knoxville and have to head down towards Lake Charles later this week - slowly. There wasn't any celebrating that I know. I wouldn't get into any of the comments on my local news's Facebook post as I heard from others that the crazies were at it again in the comments. They never care about good things and fair things that happen.
positive check-ins
So, peeps, how are you all doing? Same-old here, but still healthy.
My taiko group was just about to restart when the second lockdown came.
I have also been attending life drawing classes online. The classes have been online because of Covid.
Writing, programming badly, cooking slightly more, going out much less (I'm trying to be good). finished a Star Wars ebook a few weeks back, and am waiting for feedback. But it's well over 300 pages so I can't expect instant responses, and I do actually want the feedback before I send it on to someone else who's never seen it before. Stevie's and nfras' comments have been incorporated, but the players from my past Star Wars games haven't come back to me yet.
Personally, I find this *is* a development.
I've got two 'personal development days' to use up this year. They are today and tomorrow. So far today, I have had a bacon sarnie for breakfast, ironed my hair so I don't look like I've given up on my coiffure, arranged the windy miller's and my pyjamas into a comical pose on the bed so it'll make him giggle when he gets home this evening, rearranged the fairy lights in my office, done the crossword, looked at the MOOC I'm supposed to be starting, and lit an incense stick in my home office.
And then I thought 'Oooh, I'll have a look in the Morniverse and remember old times!' So here I am.
Old Times
(pen) I've been visiting some MC Archives in MCiOS and MC5. The early Limerick games, particularly in here, reduced me to tearful laughter - some of it out loud. Mr Chalky was very envious. And I was reminded of Humph's words back in the day: "As we journey through life, discarding baggage along the way, we should keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. It preserves the soul from desiccation."
Old Timers
[Chalks] Silliness and procrastination. I am ace at the latter and refining my skills as we speak. Have just hunted for and found the uncorrupted recording of a lecture my father gave at the Boston Athaneum in 1998. I thought I'd lost it forever.
And silliness? I seriously need to exercise that muscle. Might have to join you back in the archives. Shall we take gin in teacups and crisps with us?
Don't forget your pith helmets, and maps of the Sea of Memes.
(pen and SM) Just lead and I'll follow ..
A pith helmet on a plinth
I just wanted to write a phrase that sounds like it's got lisping in it but that does not actuually contain the potential for lisping.
What time do the archives doors lock tonight? I don't really want to be in there for the whole weekend.
[Raak] Sorry to hear about your taiko class. Nothing like doing some drumming to relieve pent up frustrations, unless you're a professional percussionist, in which case it will be the cause of your frustrations. And especially taiko drumming, which is VERY VERY LOUD. (do not try this at home)
reply to pen's check-in
My sympathy to all of you dealing with new lockdowns. The news here in Melbourne (thus for nfras and myself) is good. We have now officially eliminated the virus in the state of Victoria: we have no active cases and have had no new cases for 30 days. Which is not to say that it won't pop up again, but right now things are starting to feel almost normal here. We paid our dues to get here—two months of one of the strictest lockdowns in the world—but right now I think pretty much all of Melbourne would say it was worth it. South Australia is dealing with a somewhat worrying cluster, but looks like it is getting on top of it.
Ah feck
[CdM] Sounds marvellous. Something to look forward to here. we’re still knuckling down here in the Netherlands and the rate of growth in the second wave is slowing but it’s still growth so there’s no room for complacency. I’m worried by and despairing at the number of nutters and deniers in the comment sections of local newspapers in the UK. I have an ageing and bored mother, and a sister waiting to start a course of chemotherapy there. My sister knows what to do but has a 15-year old son in school . Half measures don’t work.
Swear properly!
(pen) Best wishes for your sister. As for the 15-denier nutters, they are indulging in British exceptionalism, i.e. they are exceptionally bone-headed. This goes a long way to explain why we have Brexit which these dopey muppets will find will do them no good at all.
The Century of the Nutter
The internet is a wonderful tool. It allows speed of communication, opens up a world of possibilities, but has sadly seen the growth of the Dunning-Kruger Effect on a scale unimagined. There is now so much information available to the average person, that many people can now pick their truth and live in ideological echo chambers, untouched by reason and fact.
If the first half of the 20th century was defined by the rise of dictators (Hitler, Mussolini, Tito, Franco, Stalin etc) then the 21st century seems to be the rise of the nutter. Fact-free, self-aggrandising nut jobs who seem to be able to get all the air-time they need to influence the uneducated and angry of the world (Trump, Farage, Johnson etc). As much as they have made life miserable for a whole swathe of people, how much worse would it be if any of them were even vaguely competent?
@#&%***!
[Rosie] I'm pretty good at swearing. I got an award for it in the end-of-year awards when I worked at the Woodland Trust in the UK. The incident involved the PR manager, the HR manager and the head of IT (who apologised to me for his team's office-wide Xmas prank which caused me to swear at the entire IT team by email in the first place.
My sis should make a full recovery after her clean-up chemo, thanks. She had successful surgery for ovarian cancer in August and is waiting to finish the treatment.
[nfras] Exactamundo. Believing consipracy theories that someone is out to get you is much easier than admitting that things are actually shit and are being handled badly by people who should either know better or resign and let someone competent get on with it.
Has that photo of Jennifer Aniston disappeared into the Last 100 Moves yet?
bar stewards
(pen) Nah.
Cake for breakfast here. Walnut actually.
Cakeism
[Chalks] Flippin' heck. I had a poached egg. I plan a fish finger sandwich for lunch though - after the lunchtime half-hour dog walk in gloomy windy misty 2C I'll need it.
Upwardly mobile
[pen] Any particular reason we need to send Jen up the page?
Below the Line
[Tuj] Just sick of seeing her! (And secretly jealous because I could never work out how to post a photo in here).
nudge nudge wink wink
(Tuj) Jen will be in 'Expose More' or 'Expose All' in 10 or so moves ...
posting pictures
It's similar to a hyperlink, but you use <img src="http://website.com/imageurl.jpg" alt="A picture from the internet" width="640" height="480" />

You can get away without the width, height, alt text and trailing slash but they're nice to have, and watch out for accidentally posting a page-filler sized image. If the file you want to link to doesn't end in gif, jpg, jpeg, png or possibly webp it may not work. And some dumb web sites will occasionally post a jpg file but name it as png or something, which is another rake in the grass to be aware of. It usually works anyway, but it's kinda rude, and always makes me question the competence of whoever put the image up in the first place. And it's easy to get caught out in turn because one usually trusts file extensions to be correct. The concept of a file extension isn't that difficult to grasp, although MS have been valiantly trying to obfuscate it for everybody for years.

If you post a file link (.zip, .jpg, .md, anything) inside an <a href="...> you get a clickable download instead of a web page opening.

Finding the right URL for the image tends to be fiddlier these days. Right-clicking and choosing 'open image in new window', or 'copy link to image' may be needed. And some image links will will broken by the remote server if you attempt to reshare them. It was simple, once upon a time. Then techies, marketing, sales, the bean-counters - people, basically - got to it, and we ended up with the current mess.

(SM) Thanks for that - I, like pen, have no idea how to get a pic in here. Do I take it that the pic must come from the Internet? What if I want to post one of my own from say, My Pictures?
(pen) I am heartened to hear of your Profanity Award.
Pictures from da intarwebz
[Rosie] No, needs to be a publicly accessible location, somewhere available even when your computer is switched off. Somewhere that begins http, basically. Linking to third parties is unreliable - look at one of the old caption competition games to see how many links still survive. The ideal is some area of the web that you control. Most reliable is your own web site, or at least your own blog, image-sharing site or whatever, even if hosted by a third party.
Archive hole! Attn, rab: help!
Oh no, the malign influence of the Podume of Infinite Darkness is spreading!! After taking a big chunk out of the middle of the Dunx archive, it's spread here, and has eaten everything from early 2106 onwards.
You say that, but...
[SM] I think... I think there just haven't been any games created here since 2016 :(
[pen] Ah yeah, it can be irksome to notice something travelling slowly up a chat page! I must have forgotten that since starting to use the 'End' key. I only asked to help nudge her along, and now we learned some HTML, which is nice.
I have a few photos on Flickr and Dropbox but how do you get to them? No idea. I'd like to shut down both accounts but how do you do that? No idea. Fuck these sites, fuck them. No pics from me - too fucking complicated.
Catch 22
Well if you could post a link to them, I could use one as an example. But if you can get that far you probably wouldn't need the help any more.
[pen] Or you can just view the source code and copy it. Like this:
Creating games . . .
I somehow got that "I'm wearing no pants" game started years ago. I am not sure how it was able to be created, but I had ideas for other things we could play if I knew how to create games if that is possible.
How to post a picture
       .
   __/ \__
   \     /
   /.'o'.\
    .o.'.
   .'.'o'.
  o'.o.'.o.
 .'.o.'.'.o.
.o.'.o.'.o.'.
   [_____]
    \___/
I'll stick to being good at commas and colons
All those little symbols just look like typos to me! I think I'm code-blind. In fact I'm still using copy-paste from DrQu+xum's Basic HTML primer to appear clever at work and have been doing for the past 20 years in at least three different jobs.
Let's have a new game then
This does require killing off an old one. Once there's a vacancy, KagomeShuko can have a go
Read My Lips: No New Pants!
Why not just wake up the old one?

We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
Not wearing your pants.

Boolbarian Values
Clapclapclap!
(Boolbar) That must have taken you ages. Gwych - deg allan o ddeg.
Hidden textBrilliant - 10 out of 10
Plagiarism
I confess I copied and pasted it. But I'll take the praise for having to carefully handstuff it with non-breaking spaces to make it line up properly, and the cunning use of the <pre> html tag.
Gamey game game
(Simons Mith) I have no idea how a vacancy even happens, I just happened to see that it was open and was surprised, but happy, I could start a game.

(Stevie) I've got some other ideas . . .
When a mummy game and a daddy game love each other very much...
Well actually the MC sites operate on a one in one out basis. So you have to end a current game before a new one can start.
Glottal stops, from the limerick
(Rosie) This is the query ? whilst the glottal stop is ʔ
Should you really desire to use it, then use the decimal & # 6 6 0 ; without the spaces between characters. Do not ignore the semicolon.
IPA
(Duj) Thanks for that - you hear it quite a lot in this country as you probably know. The thing is, will people merely regard it as a typo. In these august surroundings, probably not.
This sucks . . .
I need prayers and good vibes, etc. On Friday, I was terminated from my job and I need to be able to find a new one. I hated the job, but I need the money.
blech . .
These are what scones are in the U.S. and I find that they are just hard and icky and being covered in sugar crystals just makes it worse. U.S. Scones
[KagomeShuko] Sorry to hear about the job, and the scones. I bet they don't pronounce "scone" correctly either.
pronunciation
Oh I know that one: it's 'jif', isn't it?
Or perhaps ..
Basil?
those aren't scones!
[Kagome S] Sorry about the job. That's a bummer. Does it mean you're free to move wherever you need to be for the next job?
American scones sound a bit over-sweet and over-rich. British scones are just an 8:1 ratio of flour (+ raising agent) to butter, perhaps some sugar, and milk to bind the dough. Rub the butter into the flour with your fingers, add a dot of sugar, add milk to bind, pat out dough to 1.5cm thick (do not roll it), cut into rounds (I use a gin/hi-ball glass), bake at 200C for 12 minutes. I can have emergency scones on the table in less than half an hour, and I've been experimenting with baking them in the AirFryer too. Done. Hot, light, fluffy and not too sweet (so you can pile them with jam).
One can't really complain that American scones have too much sugar if one eats the alternative "piled" with what amounts to fruit polymerized with sugar. I have a sweet tooth but I cannot tolerate the sweetness of the average jam, marmalade or compote with or without a scone substrate. My teeth ache just looking at the jars.

So, did you festoon the sails of the mill with fairy lights for Xmas?

KS
Here's hoping that other door opens as quickly as possible.
Merry Christmas everyone at MC5
gotta stay . . .
[pen] No. I own my house where I live and it needs to be repaired from Hurricane Laura as is . . . and with my disabilities, it's best to have an online job because that way employers can't complain about having to use my transport chair or my service dogs.
[KS] Sorry to hear about the job. Hopefully something comes your way soon.
[Stevie] I agree. My preference is a sharp jam like raspberry or rhubarb. We spent Christmas Day with friends who have a plum tree. As they don't eat them, I came away with about 8kg of fruit. First batch of plum jam is now in the jars.
If you are eating sharp jam it is a good sign that the jam owner dropped the jar and scraped the contents into a new one.
Happy New Year!
Well things are a bit odd this week innit.
Oddity
Which is unusual for week 2.
Er.......
I really can't think of much to say at the moment.
Neither can I, but we might as well keep la Aniston's upward progress going.
Default weather chat.
It is foggy here, and chuffin' cold.
Ideal weather for a bike ride.
Clear and sunny, 4°C when I set out, -2°C when I got back.
Currently 31; supposed to reach 36 today.
(CdM) A pretty accurate description of what it's like here, but in Fahrenheit.
Cool is cool
(Rosie) Heh - but I'd still rather be here. Can't do heat.
Cool is cooler
I can't do heat either. Just been out for lunchtime dogwalk; 4C and strong winds is a bit brutal but if you keep moving it's OK. I was so bundled up as to be unrecognisable walking into the wind but had to take off me hat walking back with the wind behind me
What gets me is the freaking gloom here. It was midday and gloomier than a gloomy thing. Awful.
Shiny orb
It is sunny here, but still a tad chilly. I also have toothache, and an expensive looking sheet of dental treatment. Pliers and DIY wooden teeth might be an alternative.
Thermophobic ladies
(Chalky, pen) As part of my weather-nut activities I have just discovered that in Jakutsk, Siberia, the current temperature is -50°C. Minus fifty. Not a breath of wind but a thin fog. Wrap up well.
(Rosie) So what they say about Siberia is true.
(Chalky) Parts of it, yes. Jakutsk is a large and quite agreeable city. All the buildings are on stilts about six feet high so the heat from them doesn't melt the permafrost. In the brief peaky summer it's warmer than London and very sunny.
Snowy Beds
Ooh! It is snowing!
And JA has almost gone.
(Rosie) Googled. Mammoth Museum!
(Boolbar)Where?
Gone.
[Chalky] In Bedfordshire: hence "Snowy Beds". And it only lasted a few minutes. The bulk of the snow is probably held up at customs along with all the lorry drivers' sandwiches, so it won't go hungry.
Frostbite
Currently in the wilds of Zeeland at the mill. 2C and windy. Cannot move for thick layers of clothing and ski socks, yet fingers frozen. Waiting for snow (due in about 20 minutes). The neighbours have a big shed/workshop with a wood burner in it and have invited us for chicken soup for lunch. I made 2 dozen mince pies last night to contribute and warm up in the stove’s oven. It’s not all bad.
Keep wrapped up
(Chalky) Jakutsk is now down to -53°C. This is the "best" fog I have seen in years of monitoring this place. So far it's lasted well over a fortnight.
[Rosie] I have to wonder how many people die of the cold there every year. The temperature, that is, not the mostly harmless virus.
Hypothermia
(Raak) I don't have any figures but I would guess the answer is none. Every winter it goes down to at least -45° so the cold is part of the environment and everybody knows it, even pissed teenagers at a guess. Sudden blizzards and storminess are pretty well unknown. There is actually very little weather in winter except a persistent thin fog, largely produced, it seems, by the city itself (people breathing, car exhausts, hot cups of tea etc).
What the...?
How can I be staying late at work when I work from home?
[Pen] Maybe those rioting people in your neck of the woods are simply marking the end of the workday by leaving home and finding something else to do.
[Bism] Could be.
Staying late
[pen] I often did that before I was terminated from my job. We still had to keep hours and I would have to finish up dealing with customers. I HATED customer service. What good does having an MA do if nobody cares that you have it?
staying true
[KS] You care. And it shows something about your intelligence and diligence that you have it. All of that feeds into what you do and how you do it and none of the experience is wasted. I have one in technical writing but nobody cares about that when they ask me to write a series of tweets about a conference. In fact, that isn't even the real me - the real me happens at evenings and weekends when I cook and do experimental baking and get outside.
[KS] What pen said.
Hidden textWell, except for the bit about having a degree in technical writing. I don't have one of those.

[pen] Do you have to get outside because of the experimental baking?
vinaigrette regret
[CdM] The only time my cooking upset the household was when I made chutney. The smell of boiling vinegar permeated the entire house and I was forbidden from making it again. The windy miller is Dutch and I think they're all allergic to vinegar (except that they're very keen on using it as a cleaning agent and a weedkiller - maybe that's why they think it shouldn't be in food or even on chips/fries *shudders*).
The Whole House is a Fume Cupboard
[penelope] Wot, no extractor hood?
What is it with women and not turning on the extractor hood when preparing to generate large volumes of offensive and/or corrosive gas under the guise of home economics? Mrs Stevie did some pork chops in the air fryer last night and by dint of adding some sort of powdered seasoning with onion to the meat she tear gassed the house. She was quite put out when I rushed into the kitchen, eyes streaming, mucus membranes all-but corroded away, and turned on the extractor hood.
Jeez - those pesky women and their questionable extractor hood methodology
Hoodies
[Stevie] Nope - not in that house. We'd only just moved on from having only a gas hob sitting atop the tiny refrigerator to having a cooker with an oven underneath it. Until recently, many Dutch kitchens were not designed for cooking in.
Perhaps Mrs Stevie has her own way of making you pay for having your dinner prepared for you.
[penelope, Chalky] Her choice to cook
Hidden textI am amused by the assumption that in our marriage the woman has the traditional role given the amount of feminist sentiment espoused here over the years
. Why does the entire house have to reek? I don't use spray paint in the kitchen ffs.
[Chalky] Well, given the choice, would you really rather the dilute acetic acid vapour were caught by the extractor hood filter or by your lungs? There's a reason your senses are offended by the stink. That is nature's way of telling you WARNING WILL ROBINSON!
[penelope] Begs the question, what were Dutch kitchens designed for?
Nasal unreliability
(Stevie) Your senses would not be in the least offended by the smell of cyanide (nice almond-like pong) but get too much and you'd quite quickly be seriously dead.
[nfras] There'd be room to boil a pan of potatoes, carrots and onions and mash them together for stamppot, and to fry a pan of fat bacon. Or open a bag of pre-washed salad leaves. Loads of families keep a deep-fat fryer in the shed and use it there when they want to cook something 'fancy'. I think that's the entire Dutch cuisine of the 20th century summed up. There was much more variety in the days of the VOC apparently.
what's cooking
(pen) When I lived on the W Germany/Netherlands border we had Dutch TV - I can't remember their cuisine featuring on either regular shopping trips to Roermond or on TV celebrity chef-style zoals Fanny Cradock :^)
(Stevie) For clarification - my other half is the guilty party when it comes to cooker extraction methodology or lack of. He's a chap.
Cyanide
[Rosie] I'm told the exact nature of the smell depends on the concentration.
Abraham Lincoln
Met with a tragic death, it's his birthday today and mine as it happens. Hope i don't succumb to the same fate.
The real me
(qua Rosie) I've smelt HCN several times, never in large quantities obviously, and it always has that nice bitter-almond smell. Apparently about 25% of the population are unable to smell it at all.
Lincoln
[Softers] Hope you don't, as the memorial for your birthday is already taken by the eponymous president, so you'd die in obscurity. He also had a biscuit named after him, maybe that would be an acceptable alternative?
Rules of origin
I thought Lincoln biscuits were named after the city. Also Nice biscuits. Or maybe I'm just dough-minded. I've taken up baking again - in the past fortnight I've made a massive batch of Belgian buns (not Belgian at all, apparently) and chocolate chip cookies. This week, it'll be lemon cookies and an apple-topped yogurt cake. (Most of this stuff gets shared with neighbours and millers at the windmill on Saturdays when we have shed coffee).
Coooookie!!!!
[pen] I'm always on a search for good chocolate chip cookies!
Yum
[pen] I like the sound of the apple-topped yogurt cake myself. Are there any vacancies for being your neighbour at the moment? :)
crumbles
[KagShuk] This is why I have stocks of butter in the freezer for when I get the urge to put the oven on and create something. It's now a exactly a year since I have seen any of my family IRL, and I've come to realise it's therapeutic to create something delicious from time to time [every week]. I'd never made US-style soft cookies before. Sooo easy. Impossible to get wrong. Soooo easy to eat too.
[Boolb] A friend (a profesh cook) put the recipe on Instagram. She made it sound easy - let's see.
[Rosie the Original] I heard that in certain concentrations cyanide has a tang of garlic.
In any event: Women! Stop stinking out the house/windmill with your experiments in chemical weaponry!
[Stevie] Is food (and specifically patisserie) considered chemical weaponry now?
(the real Stevie, probably) I've never smelt it as garlic, always almonds. A bottle of potassium cyanide has got this smell due to hydrolysis. It's true that some smells can change with concentration. H2S is bad eggs when dilute but The Full Monty is odourless and dangerously toxic.
[penelope] Weaponry for sure, and not just chemical! Haven't you heard of dwarven battle-bread? I think it highly likely that the late Sir Terry got the idea when he cut his lip open on a bit of stale baguette or something.
[penlope] Depends on the stench produced.
I've been out
This week's outing: got my tyres and windscreen wipers changed this morning. Left my thermal cup where I was working on my laptop in the waiting area. *rse. I'm not fit to be allowed out any more.
Never again
I'm definitely not fit to be allowed out. The thermal cup was at home but I have absolutely no recollection of bringing it in from the car nor of putting it in the sink.
In other news, the Netherlands' non-essential shops are now allowed to open for shopping-by-appointment. I have booked a 10-minute slot at the hardware and household goods shop in the village for Friday at 17:15. I need new baking pans, a mop and bucket, and a dog brush. This is going to be like Supermarket Sweep.
Losing your marbles
(pen) Wait till you get to my age. "Now, what did I come up here for?"
Hairdressers open? I'm beginning to look a bit 70's-ish, instead of 70-ish.
In short, yes.
Hairdressers open. My favourite hairdresser now does it from home in Rotterdam but her husband is a Covid denier so I'm not going to go back there yet. I don't know where he's been. And the nearest village hairdresser made a hack of it when I went there in November so I'm not going back there (although it's had plenty of time to grow out). I might have to try the next town over - the historic one with a marina and a few posh shops. They're probably only any good at the windswept-been-out-sailing-all-day look though, and I can manage that all by myself.
DIY
Keep it short enough, and you can keep it short enough yourself.
(Raak) Logical enough but having a good thick mop at my age is something you tend to hang on to and it needs a bit of professional attention.
Anything else, Sir?
I'm never having short hair again. I was mistaken for a boy too many times in my teens when I had short hair and it left scars.
[Pen] Could be worse. When I think of some of the boys who were mistaken for girls (shudder)
yummy, yum,y!
[pen] Yep, I'm always on the lookout for a good soft chocoate chip cookie that has gooey chocolate chips when warm. I';; eat other ones to try, but I'm never satisfied with those. So many places in the U.S. sell some version.

Also good to try different chips when baking. I don't know what all you have over in the U.K., but in the U.S., they have peanut butter chips and butterscotch chips. It can be fun to substitute or mix the chip types.
chip butty
[KagomeShuko] I used odd bits of chocolate I found in the cupboard, chopped it up, and in it went. Chocolate is a staple on my shopping list, but I buy it in odd places and keep trying out the new combinations. Some I like better than others for eating on their own. The remainders of bars of chcocolate that I don't like so much go into cooking.
And yes, I buy discount supermarket own brands...
And I thought I was a bit of a chocoholic.
[Rosie] I think I eat it every day, although only during the week as compensations for having to work!
[Rosie] You not only approve of the term "chocoholic", you use it yourself? I'm amazed. Does that mean I have to be the one to rant about "chocohol"? 8o)
Chocolate is the one thing that mankind has invented that is worthwhile.

Apart from all the other stuff like antibiotics and heart valves and electronics and like that.

(Stevie, penult) Don't forget that despite a basically intellectual approach to life I can be a bit common. When you've disembowelled "chocohol" have a go at "workohol" - dreadul stuff, ought to be banned.
Well the Pope's noted for being a catholic, so if that word's okay for him...
Well!
[SM] Fittingly, your observation has given me an epiphany. His followers must be behind cats being so popular on the internet!
chocolate, chocolate, chocolate
I always try to have chocolate on hand!

I have Girl Scout Thin Mints right now!
(KagShu) Stop it! You exacerbate my cravings!
[KS] Surely any chocolate on hand would melt? It would be better in the mouth. Also, what Rosie said!
mmmm chocolate
I take your random chocolate and raise you one banana toastie. I spent a whole dog walk in the rain thinking about it, and made one for lunch when I got in. (Also made a cheese and onion toastie too - it was cold out.)
I don’t actually like chocolate.
There speaks a brave man. Respect, bruv. Er, can I have your bit, then?
Not a cliché
I'm not that excited by it either
[Rosie] Considering I live in Belgium, there’s quite a lot to go around, so be my guest.
Heresy
I have to admit, I prefer a nice fruity pudding or cake to a chocolate one.
Any pudding, any cake.
Except Battenburg. Marzipan is the Devil's earwax.
Emetic
In that case, pen, how would you describe spinach purée?
[Rosie] Green. Best stirred into a good, strong curry until it disappears.
Desserts
I have all kinds of desserts right now. I have Girl Scout Cookies - thin mints, toast yay! (which taste like French toast), Lemonades (lemon shortbread), and shortbread cookies. I always like to buy Girl Scout cookies if I see them being sold by troops or by somebody that I know selling them.

For my snackage, I've got Fritos and Bugles and then some Frito's Bean Dip and Anthony's Cheddar Cheese Powder (mix some in with some of the bean dip).

I also got some pomegranate juice and cherry coke. Put some ice in a glass, a tiny bit of pomegranate juice, and then fill the glass up with cherry coke and that is extremely relaxing. If you put too much pomegranate juice, it becomes too bitter.
snackchat
[KS] You sound like my granddaughter
A Sticky End Game
My interjection back in December 2020 appears to have stalled Bin Laden's moribund progress (or was that Software's buxom lass?) - so I've returned to apply CPR - to the game not the corpse
[Chalky] I just got my first interjection yesterday. I get my second one on April 12th, and then I am free! Free to ride the Long Island Rail Road and sit in an office of miserable ingrates while I listen their snarky comments.
Interjection
(Stevie) Stop interrupting. BTW I get my second jab before you, on April 8, so there. I shall then be free to sit at home and wait for the pubs to open properly and the barbers because I am now quite hirsute, you could say. 70's-ish even.
Ha! My hair is now at Epic Back To The Future Amateur Scientist levels. When I was 17 this length of hair would tumble over my shoulders in tight ringlets a-la '70s Jimmy Page. These days, what there is of it sticks out a-la Van der Graff generator.
I'm getting a haircut tonight - the first since November. Salons here were allowed to open up a couple of weeks ago, but I thought I'd let them practice on a few other heads first and get their hands back in before letting them loose on mine. I haven't had hair as long as this since 1993.
jabby jabby
[Stevie], [Rosie] I get my second shot on April 9. It's at 11am Central time, I think, so late morning for me, but I think that makes it somewhere around 4pm ove in England . . .
Chronometric dislocation
(KagShu) I noticed you posted that at 8.28 a.m. GMT which is (I assume) 2.28 a.m. CST. You're as bad as me nocturnality-wise. Maybe not quite as bad.
I am absolutely using "interjection" instead of "vacillation" from now on.
We should have some sort of poll on what flavour of interjection everyone was subjected to. I had a Pfizer interjection.
Ouch!
I'm jabsolutely with you, Stevie.
(Dujon, Stevie) You're a couple of pricks.
[jab] I had that one that sounds like a type of car owned by bad drivers who like to change lanes for no good reason and have lots of children who gawp at you through the rear window.
[hair] on Tuesday they decided to close all the hairdressers again for an indefinite period, so I managed to squeeze myself in immediately before the shutdown. Prior to that I had looked after my own hair, which didn't work too badly, although the barber did spend his time sniggering when he saw me.
[Jab] the government in Belgium reckons that it will have finished with all the interjections by about 2025, so I am wondering whether I should make a definite attempt to become one of the people at risk, maybe go for obesity or a small heart murmur or if the whole thing will take so long that in any case age catches up with me. Although there is always the free version...
Lots of stuff . .
[Rosie} Yes, I am terrible about going to bed on time unless I make myself like I did last night so I could get up and go to church.

I got the Pfizer vaccine. I'll be so glad once it is two weeks after my 2nd injection. It won't change much for me, but still ready to get back to some semblance of normalcy.

Had some little kids add to my art car today, so that was fun.

I am not sure if these are good cat names or bad cat names . . . Dreaming last night, lots of things where I was talking to somebody and don't remember, but I do remember that in my dream, somebody had two cats. One was named Four Face and the other was named Garbage Can Corners.
(KagShu) There was man who had two cats
And these two cats were brothers
Four Face was the name of one
And Garbage Can Corners the other.

There's just nothing to say to that.

Hardly any vacillations or interjections happening here yet, Dujon notwithstanding. On the plus side, we also have no COVID, so there's that.
Jabberwocky
We two - that's me and Mrs Dujon, not me and the cat - a few days ago booked in for our treatment at the local clinic. The first available date? May 12th.
(Duj) Makes me think of the Fire Brigade joke - "Keep it going; we'll be along in about an hour".
Winter is coming
Minus 2 °C, a bit more than an inch of snow overnight.
Back in boots
Hovering around 1°C here (I'm a few dozen km NW of Bismarck, I reckon) so the wet snow and sleet that's being hurled along by the stiff wind doesn't settle. It's grey. It's darker than it should be. I'm in the top room in the house working and the wind outside is howling mournfully around the corners.
Last Wednesday - only a week ago - I took an afternoon off and was walking along one of the big rivers with the dog and picking tulips under blue skies and in 22°C.
Ruddy weather.
Chilled out
Still -3° here - feels like -5° my phone app tells me. Not going out to find out for myself.
I may be some time
I went out just now. Back to full winter dogwalking gear (three layers minimum on every body part except knees). Could not hear a thing due to fleece band over my ears, flapping hood and roaring wind.
Not really much fun at all but the fish finger sandwich I made when I got home was excellent.
So, how's the dog?
Now where did I leave my fingers?
(pen) Him indoors loves fish finger sandwiches. Puts my teeth on edge - the double breadness eek
Dog fingers
[Duj] Dog was fine. If we keep moving he keeps warm enough, and he sleeps afterwards for most of the afternoon on the spare bed in my home office.
[Fish] where did you last have them?
[Chalks] I'll make an exception for a FFS, but I cannot do lasagne and chips. Double carbs, noooo!
Vroom!
(pen) Double carbs? You got an old Mini Cooper?
always more stuff . . .
Things have been a bit crazy for me, still.

Things worked out as I had some friends from the Methodist church where I am an associate member come "resuce" me. I was able to get my 2nd vaccination and get my taxes done.

My problem was my car is in the shop and everywhere that used to rent a car or a vehicle to me now wouldn't because I don't have a major credit card. I keep getting declined when I apply for one. Some stupid law went into affect in March that makes it difficult for anybody that needs to rent any type of transportation.

My key broke out of my key fob and since I and the secretary from my Lutheran church were having trouble with it, with it sometimes seeming to run the radio and lights, the battery might also be dead.

And this was after actually finding a mechanic open on Good Friday because my car was "stuttering" and jerking when I would try to accelerate and it wouldn't go over 40mph (64.3738 KPH) most of the time unless I was going downhill.

Mechanic found that the VVT solenoid needed replacing and actually had the part right then and fixed up the car!

This time, though, it had to be towed to the closest Honda Dealership since the key was broken out of the fob
What a mess
(KagShuk) In the UK, where we are a bit sweary, there's an old joke that goes like this:
"Have you given your car a name"
"Yeah, f****** car".
Hope you get it all sorted. Are you back in Lake Charles?
[KS] No credit card in the Land of the Free? Life must be super difficult. The trick to getting round the first card bck in the mid 80s used to be to apply for American Express, as they would give a card to anyone with a flat credit report. With the Stevieling we started with store charge cards and worked up. What a colossal pain in the rear.
credit where credit's due
Hmmm. Credit cards are hardly a Thing in the Netherlands. I don't think I have used mine here for more than a year - although I do use it to order flowers and stuff for my mum over the phone with businesses in the UK.
Keys on the other hand are deffo a thing. I am proud to announce that I have been allowed to put the keys to the windy miller's windmill on my keyring - after 12 years here.
Cards
[penelope] So how does one hire a Dutch car without a credit card?
(Stevie) Halve the cost by going Dutch.
[Stevie] Companies expecting furriners as customers will accept them, but in general supermarkets don't.
But how do you hire a car without a credit card? The first thing Avis/Hertz/Budget/Whothehellknows want to do when you start signing paperwork is a valid credit card. If credit cards are "hardly a thing" what replaces that process?
As an aside, I've never understood why UK people prefer to use *debit* cards to credit cards. The issue being spending one's own money over spending the bank's. The whole fraud impact shifts to the individual with debit cards. With a credit card a fraudulent transaction *never* puts one out of pocket. Someone takes your card to Las Vegas, with a debit card you are in the position of arguing to get your money back, as opposed to contesting the spending of the bank's money with a credit card.
[Stevie] On the other hand, when a disute arises, cancelling a direct debit arrangement is easier than cancelling a recurring charge to a credit card. A direct debit is an instruction from me to my bank, that I can revoke at will, without the involvement of the party I am paying. If they think I still owe them money, it's up to them to chase me for it. The same thing on a credit card is an agreement with the person I am paying, and I have to chase them to stop presenting their bills to my card issuer. This caused me some hassle years ago when I was trying to sever my relationship with an ISP that I could see was about to go out of business.

[pen] Do they use debit cards over there, or is it wads of cash only?
I hope it's not tulip bulbs again. That went badly wrong last time.
[Raak] Well, I honestly don’t know why anyone would set up recurring payments for anything. My memory of cancelling standing orders on UK bank accounts matches what you describe for credit cards. Innever set up recurring payments if there are any other options available. I think I had one annual one with Malwarebytes, but it expired with the card (replaced due to fraud).

Not only am I unconvinced on the preferability of debit cards, I still don’t understand how one hires a car without a credit card. Or reserves a hotel room. When I went to Canada I used a debit card, but it only worked because my US debit card could be processed as a credit card. The Canadians at the hotel and airline were adamant a Canadian debit card would not process that way and therefore would not be accepted for payment. I had to insist they tried each time I needed to do it as they didn’t think it would work.

So I ask again, how do you rent a car without a credit card?

Also, although you are right that an agreement tompay is with the seller, itbis negotiated via the bank who (with my credit record) guarantee good faith of the seller. I’ve disputed a few charges in my time with this bank, always resolved in my favor with a phone call to a toll-free number. I’ve executed three “charge backs” in my credit life too. That’s where the vendor does something sneaky and takes the cash, I argue with them for a bit and then ask the credit card company to get a refund for me. A single phone call, a discussion to demonstrate I’ve exhausted all other avenues, and a credit.
Just did one last week. I ordered a tool case before xmas. Never arrived. Each month I checked and the order was marked “open”. I sent three emails, one a month asking for an update, and pointing out how many emails I had previously sent. Instead of sending a fourth I made a call to the CC company and bang, that was the business. I got an email this week from the cheeky buggers I placed the order with, cancelling the order and telling me how sorry they were ... that I had cancelled the order. Not word one about how I'd made them an interest free loan for four months.
Pinning
Hardly any cash any more - contactless payment is encouraged now, especially since Covid-19 made cash so filthy (I was a cash carrier by habit - always preferred to feel real money before I spent it). You don't even have to put your PIN in for anything under 50 euros. But the automatic egg-and-potato shop machine near the windy miller's windmill (the BEST eggs - you can wave to the chickens in the orchard as you drive past) still takes only cash. If I need small change (for example to leave the right amount of cash for my cleaner) I feed my bank notes from the ATM into the egg machine and get eggs and coins in exchange.
Don't ask me about ApplePay - that's beyond my knowledge. Probably more common in the cities but I don't go there any more.
And as I think I've said, you can hire a car with a credit card - I would imagine. Never tried it here.
But that won't put a lien on future responsibilities like a trashed hotel room or a dinged-up car. That's why Avis etc want to run a card here. And I wouldn't be caught dead using a phone to pull my cash out of my bank account. Two whole levels of potential screwery in one transaction - that could be the bank's problem instead. Matbe I'm super-sensitized from reading all the uckfups in the trade papers, but phone payments against a bank account? Madness.
According to This web site "Hiring a car in Netherlands is a must in order to get around. Debit card car rental can be tricky to find as it’s rare that you come across a company that will let you hire a car without a credit card in Holland. "

Which suggests that Holland is like anywhere else in that the norm is you need a credit card to hire a car (but that this company might let you do so with a debit card; restrictions apply). I knew Steve Martin couldn't be that wrong.

*lets Stevie ask questions and ignore suggestions while answering them himself*
It's like watching someone's Googling process in real-time.
[pen] Never mind that, tell us more about this amazing egg machine! Is it transparent-fronted? Does it have a many-lettered Dutch name?
Speaking of the Netherlands, that's where this was ordered . . .
Praying that everything goes well with the international payment and shipment for my laptop with linux. I'm having it sent to a friend's address because of this constant moving around. I'm excited as I have needed a good laptop and I like Linux. I have a much better time with it than Windows (and I have a much better time with Windows than I do with Macs/Apple products, but it seems both always want to just take your money). My tax return is paying for this. Here's what I ordered.
Clevo NV41MZ 14-inch Linux laptop
Processor: i7-1165G7 (2.80 tot 4.70 GHz – 4 Cores – 8 Threads – 12MB Intel® Smart Cache)
Grafisch: NVIDIA GeForce GTX-1650Ti - 4GB DDR5 - 120Hz display - NV41ME
Memory: 64 GB DDR4 @ 3200MHz CL22 (2 x 32 GB)
Operating system: Linux Mint 20.1 Cinnamon (64-bit)
OS Drive: 2 TB M.2 PCIe 4.0 NVMe SSD (Seq. Lees: 7000 MB/s, Schrijf: 5000 MB/s) Fastest choice
Full-Disk Encryption: No full-disk encryption (LUKS)
Language of Linux: English (default)
Notes: Can Zoom and OpenShot Video Editor be pre-installed on this, too?
Additional Software: Firefox, LibreOffice, Gimp, Skype, VLC, Audacity, Steam, Spotify, PuTTY, Calibre, digiKam, Inkscape, Kodi, LibreCAD
Wireless: Intel AX200 WiFi tot 2400 Mbps + Bluetooth 5.1
Keyboard: United States International QWERTY (with super-key)
Cooling Paste: Thermal Grizzly Conductonaut 73 W/mK
Power Plug: US power plug
Accessories: Additional 90W Charger (with selected plug), Free install/recovery USB with selected OS (32GB USB 3.2 gen1), External USB DVD-RW Drive
Warranty: 36 Months (3 years) Warranty + Free Pick-up & Return (EU countries only)
Not in Lake Charles, car finally fixed, I think . . . and it's an art car becaues I wanted it that way
I'm not back in Lake Charles. My insurance on the side of getting my house repaired is being difficult. I'm in a hotel in Port Arthur, TX and on Friday, I have to move to a different hotel in that city.

The hotel where I am was very rude and let somebody come into my hotel room while I was gone when I didn't ask for housekeeping service (and I was in Lake Charles/Sulphur for a night because I had to take care of some things - and one thing was getting decent laundry bags so I could clean and do laundry) and they complained about "the condition of the room" because I have clothes on the floor and dog food out for my dogs.

Even after getting my key for my car, it was having the same problem again and I want to say it was "juttering" with starting/stopping and stuttering and kinda jutting here and there. I took it back to the mechanic that fixed the VVT solenoid and it needed a new air intake hose.

I have lots of fun with it being an art car and it makes me smile when I see it. I named it Hodge Podge (but it's a Honda and not a Dodge). I've got things all over it - things that are cute and inspirational - and there are a couple of little boys at my church in Bridge City, TX and their mother talks t them about the car and they put new things on it. I want it that way, where different people add things to my car.

There's hardly anywhere to stay in Lake Charles. There aren't apartments with places and there aren't hotel ready for any long term guests. I sure wish my insuranace would get on the ball.
[penelope] I remind the member from Windmill-on-the-Dyke that *she* was the one that said "Credit cards are hardly a Thing in the Netherlands" then prevaricated around the bush when asked an honest question about how that society handled fairly common stuff that absolutely requires a credit card Chez New York. Extraordinary claims and all that. I hardly think that having made a blanket statement about credit card usage in the Netherlands then forcing the audience to go and check for themselves qualifies one for the moral high ground and implied "let me google that for you" smugness harrumph harrumph.
Vending machine love
[Tuj] Have you come across the Car Vending Machine?
Credit
In the days when currencies were multifarious, credit cards were a great way of avoiding having to carry various denominations around Europe with you. Except that some countries didn't believe in them, like Germany, where if you couldn't bite it wasn't money. My father-in-law drove down once and tried to fill up his car at the local petrol station, but they didn't accept credit cards, and pumped out of the exact quantity from his tank and told him to get lost. Later, when credit cards started to exist there, the company that I was working for there decided that everybody should have company credit cards, which they being American decided would be American Express. Unfortunately nobody within 100 miles accepted it, and they were all on the other side of a border.
Yes, I remember distrust of credit cards when I was young. However, I wasn't evangelizing their use to anyone else, just pondering the seeming national UK preference for debit cards and wondering about how some US-centric "credit card or on yer bike" stuff gets done in places where credit cards are not favoured.
So how is Brexit playing out in the UK? We only get the gleeful schadenfreude write-ups of the things that are reportedly falling apart. Is it still seen as the Last Best Hope for Peace
Hidden textin our time
?
Not looking to start a fight I hasten to add. Just not getting the real story from the various sources I use. I don't care if you are pro or aginnit. The huge bloopers that the press love (fish, NI) must be masking other "smaller" wins no-one is writing about.
(Stevie) Brexit is off the agenda for the moment as it is now slowly dawning on people that maybe Boris is not quite the wholesome jolly fellow they thought he was, or, if they didn't but thought it didn't matter, they think it does now, a bit more at least. The front of Private Eye invites us to enjoy the carnage as Johnson and Cummings beat the shit out of each other. No wonder Boris didn't sack Cummings after the latter's optical quest in County Durham. Cummings probably knows a lot and is nasty enough to use it. Come on, Dom, do 'im over. BTW I hope you know over there pondwise what I'm on about.
Gunboats
WTF? I knew Brexit was going to be bad but didn't think it would get to this point after just 4 months.
You are a mere slip of a gel and do not remember the Iceland debacle.
(Stevie) That wasn't a proper war, just a cod one. BTW you won' 'arf get it from pen.
[Rosie] Gunboats in the water, trawler nets cut. Isn't this the way the current contretemps is heading? Reads that way over here.
is lost . . .
I know some of that was poly-ticks. Still, I am lost. I know there was an ostrich war and the ostriches won . . .
And then the dragoons arrived.
Let them eat sweeties.
I'd much rather have dragees than dragoons.
Anti Rrhinums
Prefer a Snapdragon to all the above. Beautiful prolific garden stalwart.
A plague of greenfly upon all gardens! AaaaAAAAAAAHCHOOO!
I like dragonflies . . .
(KS) I hope you cook them first.
Just had lovely text message from my sis (who has undergone almost a year of surgery and recovery followed by shitty chemotherapy) and was having a follow-up with her oncologist this afternoon. "It's all gone!!!!!" Phew.
(pen) Great news. Your sister may take some time to recover from the treatment. I'm very glad I didn't need chemo - radio- and hormone therapy rather knocks you about a bit anyway but is much better than being dead. Much better.
[pen] good to hear :^)
Great to hear good news.
Thanks folks. Today is her birthday so she's giddy with excitement (even at the age of 53) and I've just eaten a LOT of cake (because, why not? I haven't seen any of them for almost a year and a half and still can't visit but we can have family solidarity through the medium of cake).
Does cake work better than Zoom?
pen's sis
Great news.
[pen] Great news about your sister, and also about the cake :)
[pan] Good stuff for both you and sis. All hail the power of cake. {see old Chris Morris videos}
[Rosie] Not like that! But you made me curious and I found out they are edible. I still have zero desire to eat them. They are pretty to see, though!
Is it just me?
I'm pretty sure that it's exacerbated by enforced staying-stillness right now, but I have seriously itchy feet, so much so that I constantly have the marine traffic app window open as I work, and I watch the progress of ships through the day. Does anyone else get a massive feeling of wanderlust when the days get so long that it's still light at 10pm? I feel like buying a campervan and taking four or five months off work to mooch about this corner of the world seeing the people I've missed over the past year and a half. I've always got this feeling around now - particularly since a road trip into the Arctic Circle in midsummer 1995, then working on motor rallies with night stages in the north of Scotland, or driving through the night down the M4 to go camping in Cornwall... Midsummer (even though it's flipping chilly right now) is not meant for staying in. That is all.
Waltzing Matilda
[penelope] Not so much that I yearn to join the Merchant Navy. I do have genuinely itchy skin right now, which ius driving me nuts.
Always dark by 10pm
Where I live, it's never light at 10pm. Sunset MIGHT happen as late as 8pm . . .
[Stevie] But one can buy a passage on cargo ships as a non-working passenger. There used to be a website that listed the ships offering it and their destinations. I now know how I'm going to spend my next break from writing this dull thing today.
[KagomeS] If you ever get the opportunity to make a road trip, drive north (a long way north) in midsummer. It's fabulous.
I like summer morning walks over the meadows before 5am. I saw a deer last week, which I never saw there before in many years of living here.
[Raak] Impressed. I thought 6:30am is an early time for a walk. The lack of people at that time allows a lot of wildlife to be spotted. I often see muntjac deer and hares.
Views from windows
I’m lucky. I saw hares in the field behind the house from bed this morning, and watched buzzards riding the thermals from the kitchen window as I was making pizza last night.
[pen] that must be one hot pizza oven to produce buzzard bearing thermals via your windows!
(Boolbar) ROFLMAO. This is why we have Global Warming.
penelope
Traveling the world by tramp steamer is a staple of my secret vice - the Call of Cthulhu RPG. Pre-website, one had to use a shipping agent.
Hidden textOf course, inevitably the ship would be becalmed in dense fog or lost in the Bermuda Triangle or fetch up on the rocky shore of an island newly risen from the stygian depths and then the screaming would generally start and only I would survive bwahaha
Boat-cars?
[pen] Unless there are some MAJOR upgrades to cars, it's goig to take a lot more than driving to get to where it is light past 10pm for me!
Buzzards
[Boolbar] *<nods>* Were I to observe thermal-riding buzzards o'erhead I might suspect a roof fire. I was once driven from Mrs Stevie's gas barbecue by a very threatening praying mantis, all of 1 inch long.
How it reached the pedals with its tiny legs remains a mystery.
Light nights
(KagShuk) Even here in the south of England there is quite a lot of light at 10 pm BST (9 pm GMT) and in the north of Scotland it barely gets dark in June, given a clear sky.
Ay, why wud ye want the dark anyhoo, tis only fer miscreants ter get oop ter evil deeds in (Playing Calvinist card kept from my NZ upbringing)
Raised vowels
Shurely the dark is the bist time to have six.
I lived up near Sunderland for a while, and what the summer days lacked in warmth, they made up in length.
Mr Logic
That, I'm afraid, is a false equivalence. The same could be said for winter at the North Pole or even southern England.
Do that have water cars?
[Rosie] Well, that's nice, but I live in the United States. I find that it even gets dark fairly early in the northern states. I don't know about Canada, but I've heard that it's around 8pm or 9pm at the latest when it gets dark there.
(KS) The 49th parallel misses us by some way. The latitude of my place is 51.318 and Edinburgh and Glasgow are not far of 56°N. The clocks are an hour ahead of the Greenwich meridian in summer but not in winter. There are few things more gloomy than a cloudy December afternoon in Britain. Pretty well dark at 4 pm.
Back-endish
From 30-odd degrees last week to 18-odd degrees this week. Honestly, I am struggling to know what to wear [to sit at my desk at home alone all day except for a dog walk but I do know that those comfy old shorts are going in the bin - I caught sight of my reflection and recoiled I tell you. ]
changing weather and inside temperature
[pen] I often feel like I need three to four different sets of clothes to bring along with me everywhere, each day, when out and about in Southwest Louisiana or Southeast Texas.
a closed-toe shoe day.
So, any plans for this weekend, peeps?
no rest ..
[pen] Worked. Took a break to watch a football game so it wasn't quite all work and no play.
(Chalky) Fair enough. But what are you doing up at quarter past six in the morning? 0615 hrs simply does not exist in any way, shape or form.
[Rosie] awake but not up.
(Chalky) Ah! Unlike me before midday then - up but not awake.
Weather
[Rosie] that anomaly in Canada/US seems to have seen record temperatures increase locally not by the odd degree C, but by ten or so. Ever seen that elsewhere?
The weather in the U.S. had definitely been strange.
(Bismarck) Well, five, actually but even that is quite something and I'm not aware of anywhere in the world whose record has been busted by such a large margin. Having said that, one needs to be extremely rigorous in investigating the circumstances of any weather record. How long has the site been operating? Is the site representative of the area? Has it become built-up? Are the instruments reliable? Is the observer honest? That may all sound a bit dampening but it's absolutely necessary if the figures are to be put into historical context. I'd like to read some scientific articles about the heatwave; they should be appearing pretty soon. Certainly ignore the media who all have their agendas, one of which is to attract readers.
Waiting for enormous amounts of water to come gushing down the Rhine/Rijn through the Netherlands in the next couple of days. They're estimating record flows.
Belgium is under water. It's been raining for weeks. Aaaand it's St Swithin's Day.
40 days of . . . .
(Bis) Well, it was here, yesterday. Isn't the Belgian equivalent St Godelieve, whose day was 6 July. It's bollocks, I tell you, like all weatherlore.
[Rosie] Wet bollocks innit? 'Ash before oak' and all that. (I didn't notice which was first this year, despite walking out every day past both kinds of trees...)
That's a safe assumption for any 'wise' saying that you can reverse engineer from just a couple of words. I wondered if the word 'soak' was going to show up in the rest of the rhyme before even looking it up. Imagine my amazement when I discovered it did.
Water, water everywhere
(pen, Bismarck) This is quite a big one but European summer floods occur every now and then. Technical explanation here.. (V heavy going - don't bother). The world's a warmer place but whether that had anything to do with it is the subject of great debate. After all, Lynmouth was swept into the sea in 1604, 1769 and 1952 and it'll certainly happen again. The first two dates were in the Little Ice Age, when it was cooler and stormier.
Pi Approximation Day
Worth celebrating?
Water, water in a very specific place
We sold our house in France earlier this year, which broke my heart, because I loved the place. BUT I am relieved not to have to worry any more about it being underwater. In 2016, we came within about 50cm of having the Seine fill our basement rooms floor to ceiling.
To have kept such a house would have been in-seine.
[Oblig]
[RTG] Almost.
(CdM) That's a bit too close.
(RTG) No good. Pi=355/113. Even better pi = the fourth root of 2143/22.
early here
It may be 2:42 in the morning where I am, but I need dark chocolate and am going to eat some and I don't care if anybody cares.
Nocturnal indulgence
(KagShu) Very gratifying to note that I am not the only nutcase here though I must say I prefer brandy at that time of night.
Nocolate
[KS] Whatever gets you through the night. For me, it's not usually chocolate (that would involve climbing stairs and I usually eat it before bed anyway) but quite often another half-hour episode of Agatha Christie's Poirot is in order.
    Three in the morning
    In the dead space of the night
    Bach and Pachelbel.
Sleeplessness
Couldn’t sleep last night at all. Blamed on the Covid jab for want of anything else, and on the anti-apnoea device. It’s a real bugger to be a light sleeper like me.
I usually have no problems getting off to sleep, it is the waking up at sparrow's fart and not being able to get back off to sleep that is wearing. Perhaps I ought to accept 4 to 5 hours at night plus one after a nice lunch is enough at my age. My eyes disagree.
The siesta is definitely a good idea. Those Spanish are on to something.
Mrs Tuj has had this week off work specifically to watch the Olympics, and has been roughly living on Tokyo time. It's been a wee bit disruptive!
Raak's insomnia cure

Canon to his left
Canon to his right. Into
The valley of sleep
Insomnia, Raak?
Allow me to read to you
From this C text book
Stuff sucks
So, now on top of everything else, I fell in the shower at a hotel because it was THAT slippery (I had turned the water on from outside of the shower, took one step in and fell . . . hit my elbow and it was hard enough that it caused something to go wrong with my shoulder. It's now EARLY Thursday morning where I am and it happened on Saturday. It popped and became worse Wednesday morning as I was getting ready. I have an MRI they are going to do. I've been seen by a doctor at an Urgent Care and they set me up with an orthopedist that saw me who wants me to get an MRI to see if I'll need surgery. It HURTS badly.
Ouch
In sympathy. Did you happen to push on that arm Wednesday? If so, reckon you've broken your radius. Had something similar. More sympathy.
Oh no! That sucks mightily. So sorry to hear you're in the wars. I've just triple-checked my voodoo doll collection and you're definitely not in it. Let me offer you a big virtual hug. Virtual hugs may be intangible, but they're also guaranteed not to hurt.
[KS]- what an arse. Sympathies, but you seem to be getting good treatment. I won't bother you with my story of 5 hours in outpatients because of a poisoned hand. That bloody hurt but not as much as a popped arm I'll bet. May the depopping come soon.
Does anyone know how to start a new game?
Yes, but I'm not one of them, being older than Methuselah, totally computer-illiterate and ethnically Welsh. Someone will help you, I'm sure, but it would be good form to announce what sort of a game you intend.
New Game
New game slot unavailable here.
New fish to fry
[Fish-Monger] There are a limited number of game slots. Win one of the existing games with a move of pure genius to close that one and open up space for a new one. What kind of game were you thinking of?
[KS] I hope you have managed to stay safe and dry.
[Stevie] I hope you have also managed to stay safe and dry.
Taps mic
My annual visit to check that the system upgrade didn't kill anything.

Testing...

Gosh!
*waves at rab*
Blimey!
[rab] Oooh!   But it appears that you are late this year. It was July in 2020 and August in 2019. Perhaps your orbit is being perturbed.
Waves back
Yeah sorry I don’t drop by as much as I used to. But I’m doing well thanks yeah.

Possibly. The debian release schedule is of the “it’s done when it’s done” type, and also it requires me to go and check their website to see if there has been a major release since last time I looked. This was one of the few upgrades that didn’t break anything, apart from forcibly deleting PHP for reasons I still don’t fully understand.

Weekend plans
None. Phew.
[pen] I'm sure your doggy will have things for you to do.
My ouchie . . .
Turns out I broke my collarbone. It's not been fun, but at least it was getting better. The first six weeks are miserable.
Happy Punctuation Day! Site does't want to let me add my examples of lesser known punctuation marks.

https://www.facebook.com/kagomeshuko/posts/10159851060059529
That's a bummm*r
failed cook
I managed to burn two pans of stuff yesterday. And the container I got out of the freezer to defrost for dinner wasn't goulash, as I thought, but chicken curry. I think we'll have beans on toast today.
That's another bummer. I'm always doing it. Most of my stuff is overcooked.
Here's a thought - learn to not live out of the freezer! (Pablo ducks as various rock-solid tupperware containers of unidentifiable foodish products are hurled at him, but stands firm in his unwavering belief in fresh food. Unless it's all run out, of course)
[Pablo] You're an urban dweller, I take it?
Learn ...
Excellent advice Pablo. Also, everyone stop whining about pollution, just learn to breathe only healthy O2/N2 mixture.
Something very weird is happening with AVMA. I keep trying to post to the game, and it won't accept my post. Meanwhile the front page now describes it as a "Brand spanking new event"
Never mind. I think I broke it by trying to include some Japanese characters. I took those out and normal service appears to have been restored.
I don't seem able to load the home page of that wily Scotsman McIos today.
Seems ok from here... http://mcios.pathetech.com/
[Micky Os] I had a problem after a recent Windows "update". My browser then claimed Mcios had a wonky certificate. I found tipping my laptop to one side helped.
(Bools) Did your browser actually use the word wonky?. If so, there is hope for the world.
[Pen]Yes, very urban, but if I were rural I'd be into stealing vegetables, strangling chickens, eating grass (both sorts), foraging for mind-bending mushrooms, punching cows and generally making a bloody nuisance of myself. Only way to have an interesting life as far as I can see.
hullo clouds hullo sky
[Pabbers] No need for stealing vegetables - they drop off the harvest wagons as they turn the corner in front of our house. And once the harvesting machines have been through the fields, gleaning is tolerated, so you could easily get 50-60kg of potatoes for nowt if you put your back into it. Other aspects - such as the peace and quiet (ignoring loads of tractors, obvs), open views and panoramic skies - make it worthwhile. I'm hating cities more and more, to be honest, but then I'm in the lucky position of being able to do that from a distance.
Free Veg
[penelope] So did you go for the speed bump or water-filled pothole to enact your nefarious-yet-brilliant veg "acquisitions"?
Desperate measures
We already have the water-filled pothole - everyone knows it's there. I feign reversing out of our parking bit in front of tractors to make them brake suddenly*.

*Seriously, I don't need to - there are enough idiot drivers causing tractors to take avoiding action and there are spuds all over the roads.

All round penelope's windmill for some chips done in beef dripping then!
<*drools*>
Chips in dripping
There's still one chip shop around here that does them like that.
Nothing in particular
And,um, where ... exactly ... is "around here"? Asking for, er, a friend.
Aaaaarrrghgurglethrobflutter
Hogs y sglods!
Hidden textproperly Hogia sglodion (chip lads)
Sling this into Google Maps and you'll see it.
F67M+5C Morlanwelz
Chips
I just found that it has a website, too. The name is Friterie de Mariemont.
For the anecdote: A few years back, Belgian law changed because the chip shops were semi-mobile affairs with propane stoves which tended to explode. The majority of the shops were classed as "mobile" - that is temporary construction by the side of a road on public land, and prohibited. The idea was that anyone who wanted to remain open had to construct a proper building, but most got around it by putting a veranda up in front. This one was moved fifteen metres from the road on to private ground, and then they put the veranda up.
Patat, Pataje, Friet, Frites, Chips met mayonnaise.
[Bismarck] I see it - tucked into the back of the car park. We used to occaisionally drive the 15km over the border into Belgium to have chips for dinner at something similar They're everywhere. Our dog is called 'Chip' (or 'Chippie') after the food, BTW.
[pen] I expect he has a 'chippie tea' at feeding time
[Chalks] We call it a 'Chippie dinner' (but the windy miller doesn't get the allusion to the colloquial chippy at all).
(pen) How do you know what carpenters have for din-dins?
[Rosie] Dunno, but they probably eat it with a wooden chip fork.
While digging around in an old bookmark file...
... I found my MC bookmarks! I'm so pleased to see everyone still here!
Greetings, nights!
resurrections and aging
(nights) Good to see you.
(Rosie) MHR OM.
[nights] Pleased to see you too! (And to have more than 8 words to say so)
I honestly can't remember the last time I played. But (to put on my serious hat for a moment) I find that with the world being so grim, some light hearted fun is all the more precious. It's also nice to see that community online is still a thing.

With that said, doffing my serious hat with a flourish and putting my balaclava of fun back on, I return to trying to find my rhyming dictionary...
Anyone else having trouble reaching MCiOS?
(Proj) No problem here.
Belated Birthday Greetings Rosie!
MCiOS
Yes, Projoy.
MClostiOS
Yes - me too.
I'm not seeing any problems at MCiOS.
(Chalky) Cheers, m'dear.
Anniversaries
(Rosie) It's got to be 20 years since WildPants? I know other MC servers existed in the last century but vaguely recall I didn't venture into them until Rab fashioned this one.
[nights] Welcome back! Do stick around for a while.
Wildpants
(Chalky) I remember posting something in WildPants which for some reason mentioned my age, a mere 58. So yes, over 20 years ago. I seem to remember there was a Rogues' Gallery associated with it. Maybe we could have one here.
MCiOLOSS
[Projoy et al] I'm also having problems getting to MCiOS...
MCiOS
I too cannot access MCiOS. I seem to remember something recently about changing its domain or IP or some such techobabble?
Finding MCiOS...
It appears to be accessible again. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?
Mr Logic
(nights) Sorry to be a clever c*** but can I cautiously point out that it must be in the last place you looked because once you've found it you stop looking.
Censorship
Wow, who knew rab hates Dutch shoes?!
Another string to my bow is theatre tech. I've just spent ten hours plugging things in, unplugging them, bonking myself on the head with them, turning them around the right way, programming them, and that was just the actors.
So. Decision made. We're not going back to England for Xmas for a second year. Luckily I managed three trips between September and November (the latter for my mother's 80th birthday) before it all went loopy again. We've had half a shutdown in the Netherlands for the past 3 weeks (all evening stuff is closed, except supermarkets and petrol stations). The rate of booster vaccinations is speeding up so it might be before or just after Xmas for me and the windy miller.
But folks, I'm curious. Who is still stupid enough to spread it after nearly two years of this shit? Come ON.
My sister, apparently. I'm told she thinks 'healthy people don't need vaccines'.
[pen] Students. "I'm young, I won't get sick even if I do get it." It's getting to the point that I dread going to work, which is a new and sad feeling.
(pen) Not just that, but practically all patients in Intensive Care Units are unvaccinated. They are brainless, selfish and completely up their own arses.
I despair, I really do. Looks like the Dutch government is also going to eschew closing schools early for a firebreak over Xmas and the new year holidays so as 'not to interupt education'. Seems to me it would be the obvious thing to do at this stage. Co-worker's husband is a maths teacher and yesterday he tested positive. She's pregnant with twins. They are both vaccinated.
This sucks.
Gathering rosebuds
Off to London this Sunday for some culture. I wonder if this is the last time it will be possible for a while.
Glub glub...
Off to the UK via the tunnel on Saturday in my little COVID-safe Clio. Haven't driven on a British motorway in a good ten years. This is going to be entertaining!
Traffic report
Apart from a minor contretemps near Heathrow, I have safely arrived in the Midlands. My little car behaved admirably and is going to be valeted as a reward.
Clio capers
[nights] Have a wonderful time with your nearest and dearest.
Do motorways have a Clio Lane specially for samll Italian cars?
[Rosie] It's probably the same lane that a Mini Driver would use.
(Boolbar) V good. ROFLMAO. I've had five of the little buggers and if you're not careful I'll give you all their numbers.
1000kms later...
Despite all the extra protocols, checks, tests, paperwork, swimsuit competitions and tie-breaker round ("In ten words or less, explain why you should be allowed to enter France"), the drive back home was excellent and I have brought back more PG Tips and Club biscuits than is strictly necessary.
Le premier thé Anglais!
2022
And may I be the first to wish my lovely friends a happy, properous and cheerful 2022! The evening was spent with a small group of friends, LFTs in hand, playing Mysterium, and drinking a reasonable quantity of beer.
[Nights] Good to hear you were allowed back - and you successfully managed to drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit! Apparently tea and chocolate bars are OK (vegetable origin) but filled chocolates (truffles, bonbons) are not - they contain something more closely related to dairy - so the Dutch Marechaussee told me. And if you can't eat the whole box of chocolates in the car at Customs, then just order them all from Amazon in France or Germany. That's where I get my Yorkshire Tea and Fry's Chocolate Cream bars from.
(pen) I get Yorkshire Tea from Waitrose. Good stuff is that.
[Rosie] Waitrose? There’s posh.
(CdM) Not really. Not ridiculously expensive either. Nicer people than the Co-op.
(CdM) and wider aisles. Better loos too.
The radio in the car on the way to work told me that there are signs that the pandemic may be slowing down. I then get into the office, open my inbox, and reel at the number of students off with COVID. It's almost as if... the media... has some kind of interest... in getting people... to worry about something else...
[nights] It may well be slowing down, but only after it got up to a fairly high speed to begin with.
Oh FFS. Vax-refusing neighbour over the road was ill last week but won't even take a home test - she's convinced there's something on the cotton swabs. There's no helping some people.
(pen) What's her name? Mrs Djokovic?
Can you hear me now?
Well, back to doing some classes online, which pleases absolutely nobody.
[nights] Least of all those of us who have to teach the bloody things
Can you turn your cameras on please?
[Pablo] Tell me about it. I had fourteen in my Friday morning class, not a face amongst them. Feels like I'm teaching my houseplants.
[nights] So, much the same as teaching in the classroom then?
[Raak] Somewhat, yes, although I do find that it is frowned upon if I take things to their logical conclusion and teach in my pyjamas.
I have started telling my team that they have to turn up in the video conferences with the most interesting background they can make.
[nights] Have an on-screen hat day. Also, have you tried the 'hold up something green if you agree' or 'hold up something red if you disagree' rapid-fire quizzy-type thing instead of relying on mentimeter or other electronic gizmotrickery?
IT mischief for pedagogical amusement
[pen] Nope and that is absolutely happening in my next online thing.

In my last in-person thing, in the IT lab, I was practising using the software that allows me to look at the screens of my students from my desk. Not only does it nip any potential misuse of university facilities in the bud, but it allows me to send messages to all terminals in the session.

My favourite message I sent ended, for a lark, "Please stand up and sit down again briefly to acknowledge receipt of this message." Within moments, there was a gentle wave of students gently bobbing up and down. Absolutely splendid.
[pen][nights] Loving all this, only wish I had the wit to think of this stuff. As I teach music, perhaps I could declare that everyone must turn up with a sousaphone?
[Pablo] Surely you'd insist on a kazoo or Swannee whistle? Let battle commence.
Well, off work for a week. I've celebrated this fact by getting up just as early as ever on a Saturday morning to have a cotton bud inserted into what felt like my frontal lobe. Anyone else had particularly sadistic COVID tests?
Sadism
(nights) Not a COVID test but can I bid One Prostate Biopsy?
[Rosie] Oh that doesn't sound nice. Hope the results are good!
(nights) It was nearly 5 years ago, very painful but brief and the results were not good. Extensive treatment has cured it - it can be done. The Gland Of My Fathers, a naughty boy. Bachgen drwg!
[Rosie] Glad to hear that things are better now. I went for an endoscopy at our local public-private-partnership hospital on Monday, and while I was impressed at how well everything went (it being my first time under general), I'm now slightly dreading the bill.
(nights) That's one thing I don't have to worry about - I even got a free car park pass as a regular patient. Radiotherapy, i.e. 37 consecutive zappings with high-energy X-rays but at least you get the weekends off.
Are you dreading the bill more than the result? I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad one. Whichever it is I hope they didn't find anything nasty.
[Rosie] There aren't many things I miss about the UK, but the NHS is one of them. Something of a stereotype I know. Anyway, went in for the followup visit today and all is well. Have also paid the bill, and informed the children that Christmas is cancelled.
[nights] They gave me the best drugs for the drainpipe-up-the-rear session I underwent. Much better than the carpal tunnel general. Needle went in after the usual faffing about trying to find a vein under the layers of manly blubber relaxed muscle I cultivate in my arms, turned on the faucet and the sitar music began almost straight away.
After a fractious meeting or two and some very colourful emails, I have now made sure that the right ticks are in the right boxes for all of our students will be able to do their external English exams (rhymes with STOIC) at no cost to them. It's the small victories, eh.
Ticks
Not ... the dread Brotherhood of Luxor Death Ticks?

Death Tick
Death ticks are clockwork menaces resembling ticks, but about the size of a man’s hand. They are programmed to seek out a living target, jump onto that target, and siphon the victim’s life fluids. Once the enemy is a dry husk, the tick returns to its sender. Any tick failing to reach the sender in 10 hours releases a corrosive acid and destroys itself.

Ticks
And you surely can't mean ... the foul Prairie Tick?

Prairie Tick
Prairie ticks are the scourge of the High Plains. These horrid bloodsuckers live in underground burrows and are controlled by a single, giant queen that rules over each nest.

Ticks
[Stevie] The only ticks I am experiencing are those of the clock marking off the seconds of the exam that I spend thinking of all the ways I could be using this time more productively if I wasn't required to be here watching students do an exam.

Never mind, at least Saturday is open day, an entirely DIFFERENT way of wasting time...
This Saturday
I'm running another episode of the increasingly hysterical Planet Mercenary RPG. You could join us if you weren't doing something else.
Last Saturday
[Stevie] Ta verymuchly for the invitation, but I'm already part of two RPGs that never have the time to meet up - three would be an extravagance, I fear. That being said, I can confirm that D&D in French is hilarious when you don't know the right vocab.
Well, May 7th we're back on Mars for some Space 1889. Dead easy Savage Worlds rules. Offer stands. Noon EST. Well, DST I guess.
D&D off-planet
[Stevie], how easy is it to learn?
Space 1889
[Superman] So easy I can do it. Very, very easy. But don't take my word for it, come and join us and see for yourself. We can fold new players in without breaking a sweat. If they don't want to stay the course, that's OK too. Characters are easy to build. The Savage Worlds core (which is the "engine" under the bonnet) I usually describe as designed to reproduce Indiana Jones movies as a role-playing game. We use the same engine for my friend Craig's Dealands Reloaded weird west game, though I'm using an older version of the rules with some of the really neat new ideas bolted on for Space 1889.
Here is the campaign blog though the last two entries were rushed due to Xmas and Vacations from Hell and pipes bursting and ceilings falling in and life generally sucking.
Well that's a month gone by in a flash. How is everyone doing? Anyone seen a swallow yet?
Bird Brained
No swallows, not even a gulp. However, seen on the bird feeder today: sparrow, pigeon, great tit, blue tit, dunnock, nuthatch, squirrel, jackdaw, mouse.
...and having just popped to the kitchen I can add a female blackbird and a magpie to that list. It is all go today!
Oh look, I've got a special 4-legged furry bird that goes miaow.
I'll go out and talk to it
I've spent the day interpreting for a meeting where everyone's second language was English, and I now have a headache the size of a zepplin. Good lunch though!
Dwyieithrwydd
(nights) My Dad's second language was English. I take your point, though.
I sympathise, used to do the same thing very regularly. Have you tried doing both sides of a German-French conversation? Imagine so, given you location. There's a reason interpreters only do twenty-minute shifts...
Talking of second languages, I need to practice using my Dutch in shouted conversations with farmers across fields. Either that or just shut up and wave when I'm on lunchtime dog walks.
(pen) Could depend rather crucially on what you say, or what they thought you said.
Outages
Dunx.org has dropped off the web. And we have not heard from Dunx for quite a long time. I hope this is just because he is too busy to participate in the Morniverse. Is anyone in regular touch with him? MCiOS seems to have a problem also: when I tried to post this there, I got “An error occurred while reading CGI reply (no response received)”.
Can't see anything wrong from here...
~: ping dunx.org
ping: cannot resolve dunx.org: Unknown host
~: ping www.dunx.org
ping: cannot resolve www.dunx.org: Unknown host

And I'm still having the MCiOS problem in the chat game, but not in Room 101.
dunx.org
It took some hours for the error to propagate, but now I see the same as Raak.
dunx.org is back in working order.
Look away NOW
Rather feeble thunderstorm this afternoon ym Mhlas Huws. House still standing.
Quiet in here, isn't it?
Y tawelwch
YMA O HYD!
That's Welsh for "The Saints go marching in", isn't it...
(RtG) Nope, not even this lot..
Dropping by
Howdy, folks!
(Phil) Iawn, cont! mode=<cofi>
Howdy Phil! Are you recovered? And aren't you about to move house?
[Pen] That's a disguised threat if ever I heard one.
Ummm....
[penelope] I can't remember what I was recovering from, but other than my right shoulder (my bowling arm) responding well to physio after seizing up a bit over the winter, I'm very well thank you.
I do plan to move house later this year (even closer to Rosie, I fear), although it seems to be a safe bet at any time in the last 25 years to ask me if I'm about to move house :)
Ohhhh
[Phil] Good to hear. I'm asking because I thought you had Covid the last time I saw you in here
[Bismarck] If you hear a threat, that's entirely your interpretation, mwahahaahaha! It would be worse if the threat was to make sure you moved into a bungalow - no stairs. Euphemism for knee-breaking perhaps.
I have no idea where I get these ideas.
[pen] That must have been the week before Christmas. I had a fun time in solitary with food and drinks being dropped off at the door. I genuinely enjoyed it :)
A random late-night thought
I was just thinking about an annoying recurring dream I keep having - you know the one, where you're back at school/college/uni and you have a load of work to hand in that you haven't done because your darn brain only invented it a few minutes ago. I think one of the reasons it annoys me is that I'd started to notice this no-win part of the problem even while asleep. I begin to wonder if I might start metagaming about that in the actual dream before too long.

And then, thinking back, I noticed other things - such as the fact that you rarely have conversations with other people in dreams, and that most people, if they can find a dream-book to open, find nothing useful or intelligible inside.

And then I thought, these kinds of limitations are quite understandable - after all, your brain is literally inventing an entire fantasy environment around you in real time. Looking at it like that, it's staggering how realistic dreams are, in spite of their shortcomings. On the Crescent sites, a lot of us are creatives of some kind - including writers - so we know how hard is is to produce something halfway realistic in real life. In fact, it suddenly struck me to ask, 'Looking at the sheer amount of creativity that goes into a dream, and knowing how much mental effort it takes to do anything similar when up and about, how come dreaming isn't more mental effort than being awake??'

(SM) I'm not convinced about creativity in dreams. I think most of the stuff is already there from previous life experiences, even the most trivial things, and they just get mis-associated. I have had rather vivid dreams but they are based on an enhancement or exaggeration of a reality I have experienced plus some imagination. They wake you up which can be briefly disturbing but whatever you do you cannot recreate that dream, be it nice or nasty, and it fades remarkably quickly. Alcohol has little effect - it's a small molecule that fits anywhere. A work colleague (a chemist) said it goes round the brain pulling out a few plugs.
[Creativity - yebbut stitching material together in new and unexpected ways is what creativity is. The amount of creativity in different people's dreams may vary, but from what I can tell it easily matches and frequently exceeds the degree of creativity the same person can achieve when awake. Although I will concede a Captain Scarlet level of plot holes, for sure.]
Creativitiness
The idea that creativity is a matter of becoming unshackled, freed from restraint, when we would all be massively creative if only we could let go, is bollocks. Discuss.
No art without craft, but try saying that in an art college these days.
I never said dreaming was unshackled creativity. It has at least one inescapable limit - the highly-connected blob of meat in charge of the whole mess.

Or in the words of Humph, "The teams can say any word they want, limited only by their own imaginations.
... It's stiff, that rule."

Isn't "meatbrain", as implied by your metaphor, something of an oxymoron?
Brains can be made out of meat! [Archive link to www.terrybisson.com]
Agreed that dreams are mostly mashups of one's past life (at least mine are, and it can be confusing to be in 3 countries at once). "An infinite capacity for taking pains" is a lousy definition of genius - that's just control freakery. Much better is "the ability to make connections where none were seen before". Whether those connections are made awake, asleep, or somewhere between really doesn't matter. That begets creativity.
Genius
Genius
(Pablo) Your second definition is by far the better. And of course these connections are made in effect instantaneously. There just has to be some loose software flopping about in there. Use it well.
If I may make a slight amendment
I would suggest "the ability to make fruitful connections where none were seen before"
Dreams
I don't think that I have any real life experience of anyone inserting an inboard marine engine into a golden retriever's arse and setting it off around the dock in a wide loop, saying "Watch this bugger go!"
My dreams baffle me.
(Phil) Got just about enough energy to ROFLMAO.
[Phil] Yeah, that is unusual. Only about 8% of people have that dream.
This place is dead, or at best dormant.
[Rosie] I guess the pandemic disrupted the regular supply of banter and the import of witty discourse into the UK is being held up due to the extra paperwork required post-Brexit.
(Boolbar) But we have no need to import banter - we already have a unique top-class product that, given some loose translation, would sell like hot cakes throughout Europe. Alas, we are governed by cretins and the newly-erected barriers and associated bureaucracy make it just too much hassle. What a silly country we are.
Gas go bang
[Rosie] I hope you weren't affected by the explosion in your locale!
Down go house
(Phil) Are you insinuating that my abode is in Forneaf?
Hidden textThornton Heath
How dare you! I'm a good six miles SSE. In any case it's not really Forneaf, more like Norbury/Mitcham Common. That shows you how much the media 12-yr-olds know about south London.
Apols
[Rosie] I knew I'd heard you mention it. My sincerest apologies for such a slur. My daughter now lives in Surrey, but about as far from you as it's possible to be, while still in the county. She assures me it's not deliberate.
(Phil) So she's in Haslemere, is she? Well, there's posh. I don't think I could afford a garden shed there.
I'm looking for a way to represent a glottal stop without resorting to IPA. There is a distinct glottal stop after the "r" in Forneaf, to say nothing of the "th fronting".
MCiOS
Hi folks - what's happened to MCiOS???
[Blob] I was wondering that, although I have a feeling that it was mentioned that the domain name was meant to be changing at some point.
[Boolbar] That rings a very muffled bell for me, but my browser autofills the whole name as soon as I type "m", so if there was a new domain coming in, I never trained it to use it.
(B,B,R) This is ridiculous. What is the new domain name? It's like changing your address or phone number without telling anybody.
MCiOS
[B,R,R] Hmm, it doesn't seem that long ago that it changed from parslow.com to mcios.pathetech
Does anybody have Dan's email address?
If anyone feels like having a rant give me a bell on 020 8657 4109
MCiOS is back.
MCiOS is gone again.
Back again!
Gone again. I don't understand this. Someone is taking the piss.
Dial M for moaning
[Rosie] I reversed-searched the number (seeing as I have nothing better to do this morning - or at least nothing I'd like better to do. Haha!
(pen) Couldn't you have just dialled the number? No need now - Dan has explained how a singularity in the Universal Force Field led to temporary withdrawal of the source of our addiction. Better have a fag - ah, that's better. Popeth yn iawn rŵan
Daughter location
[Rosie] Farnham. My daarn saarf geography is woeful. I still get Woking and Wokingham mixed up. Ditto for Maidenhead/Maidstone.
Do try to keep up!
No-one's said anything for a couple of weeks. Are you all OK?
Last day of summery weather today, and aside from useing it to dry blankets and quilts today, I have no further use for it. Throughly fed up of being sweaty. Next Saturday is forecast to be 16C ALL DAY. Can't wait!
(pen) 16°C all day? That means total cloud cover, probably a strong breeze and quite possibly continuous rain.
(Phil) Farnham. That's very nearly Hampshire. I'm at Hamsey Green, a part of Warlingham.
rainy days are here again
[Rosie] Yup! Every excuse to either sit in the car at the mill listening to the rain on the roof while drinking tea and reading books while the windy miller does his thing, or sit at home reading books and drinking tea while the windy miller does his thing at the mill.
Nope, the continent refuses to play sensibly and it's 27°C for some reason.
1
1
1
1
1&lt;b&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;hr&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/b&gt;
I think it might be time to turn the North Wales connection on for all games by default...
Y cysylltiad gogleddol
Ti 'di'n meddwl Mrs T?
Howdy
How are things with y'all? Over here the school holidays got changed to two-week half terms and I am wondering if becoming a teacher is still on at my age. Currently jobseeking, so you never know.
Demused
I flogged my writing muse yesterday to great effect and today she's gone AWOL just when I need her to help me write a webpage and a bunch of campaign emails. And the windy miller is having a day-long snooze after overdoing it (not Covid - we've tested). On the plus side I've booked a trip to England in late Nov instead of at Xmas. At least I'll get a decent break in December instead of dashing all over the place.
I have no idea how people do teaching. My pa was a teacher for 35 years.
Wot my old man did
(pen) Mine too. He taught English, a language he couldn't speak until he was about 8.
[Rosie] That's impressive. Mine was an art teacher.
(pen) Have you inherited his talent? I can only draw steam engines.
scribbler
[Rosie] I did Art O-level in one year and got an A (I did the still life and calligraphy papers) but that's as far as I took it. I thought I could 'always do art at home' so I studied science instead. I think I might have a bit of talent but it's completely untrained and I get frustrated that my lack of training doesn't let me produce the things I want to produce. But I've got all the kit should I ever feel the urge to practice...
Art
[penelope]I have no talent for art whatsoever. I’ve tried, but lack the whatever-it-is to convert what I imagine to what I can draw. The Stevieling is *extremely* talented, but refuses to work at it. She draws manga-style for fun, but is capable of much more - we persuaded her to take a class in college and she claimed she enjoyed it but she dropped it next year. Very frustrating for me. She has fantastic ideas and a great imagination. I’ve tried to get her to draw comics or illustrated stories but to no great success. Aaaaargh.
[Stevie] Bad luck. I bet she's not going to fall for reverse psychology any more either
I can't art either, but I can script and I can program. Not well, but I can. So I use PoVRay and/or Blender, and that lets me program a computer to do what I want. Yes, this is easily as difficult as just drawing the stuff, and in many respects it's much more work, but it's something I can do, whereas I cannot draw
End Times
The barometer has fallen to 982 and it's gone dark outside.
Was it the End?
[Rosie] You still 'ere mate? I've been across the North Sea and back since you posted that and I can confirm both sides are still here. (the crossing last night was very smooth, by the way)
(pen) Yma o hyd, to use a well-known phrase or saying.
Hidden text Still 'ere
. Extensive research has revealed that the darkness was due to the well-attested rotation of the earth and it was twenty past four. It's going to get cold - you'll be able to skate here soon. I'll be there with my camera.
Baltic
[Rosie] Indeed. I watched a few of the models this morning. Mentally making a list of my thickest socks and their likely locations.
Kin-taters
(pen) Went down to -3.5°C last night ym Mhlas Huws. First frost of the winter (v. late) but I think it's now going to seriously rectify this happy anomaly.
Degrees
Frost here also, and the thermometer didn't make it above 0°C all day. Another thermometer is showing 38°C, as I've managed to get Covid again.
I went out for a bicycle ride this afternoon, but I had to turn back in half a mile. It was too dangerous, with patches of frozen ice everywhere, unmelted frost from last night that was still frozen, even where the sun was shining and some traffic had passed.
[Bismarck] Bummer. Hope you start to feel better soon.
Just above freezing outside in N Brabant but clear blue skies and sun (warming up the living room to 21C but my home office is on the north side of the house so still cold in 'ere - and no heating on in the house today...)
A tad of snow here in Bedfordshire. Just enough for the seasonal crop of cars in ditches.
Brr
–7°C in my NE-facing front porch this morning. The lowest I've seen it since putting a thermometer there some years back, so I can assess the cryotesticular potential without stepping out of doors.
I would imagine the repair of the copper/zinc primate, now meteorologically appropriate, is a matter of some delicacy.
BMW
[Raak] Got very cold over the weekend here too. So cold, in fact, that the brass shut-off I have on the sillcock at the back of the house split because I shut the valve in the brass part but stupidly did not remember to turn off the sillcock itself, so a column of water about the size of the end joint of my thumb was residing in the brass manifold, which was enough to fracture it.

To maximize the fun I did not realize this had happened until the thaw, when I went down to the basement and discovered a nice new paddling pool.

The water had sprayed up the side of the house for about a day and a half and frozen in many interesting patterns, but had also soaked into the ground and waterlogged it, causing many leakes through the basement wall and seepage through the floor itself. I took over 40 gallons of water out using the wet-vac, a submersible pump and a stream of class four Words of Power.

Class IV Words of Power
[Stevie] Are those adult words?
Power Words?
Like Kinell or Effeffess?
Word of Power
Words of Power are the way one forces out the anti-handyman demons infesting whatever it is one is attempting, in this case, keeping my machine tools dry and unrusted. I went directly to class fours as I had only just solved a similar crisis brought on by my having new gutters installed on the house and the gutter guy not understanding that if he dumped the rainfall on umptytump square feet of roof next to the basement wall, the water would soon be inside the house. I have to come up with a proper solution to that one. right now I just have an 8 foot pipe running to the edge of the property where a nice new pool forms every time we get a storm.
Does "edge of the property" = "neighbour's basement wall"?
[CdM] 8oD
Anyone had enough of 2023 yet? Gripe warning!
Among other hindrances and irritations (including starting the year with Covid) the windy miller has a case of the burnout from his real-life job and is taking at least two weeks off to sleep, and I have eczema on my effing eyelids (that's a new and unusual place, even for me).
Still to look forward to: three months of my route to work in Rotterdam being absolutely shut during June, July and August because of repairs to the massive Haringvliet bridge and a tunnel under the river a bit further north. I don't fancy joining everyone else on the road coming from Antwerp and Zeeland heading to Rotterdam taking two and a half hours to drive 40km. Hmmph.
Feel your pain with the eczema. I get it inside my ear tubing sometimes. As far as bridges and tunnels over a river, time to buy an army surplus DUKW. You could run a bus service to recoup fuel costs. It seats about twenty
Hidden textso c'mon and bring your juke-box money
.
[Pen] trying saying you have COVID (Congenital Objection to Vehicular Ingress by Dams) and say you have to isolate at home.
And thirdly...
The dishwasher is broken. All it can manage is a 10 minute rinse. Aaargh.
Eyelid eczema is clearing up - I already had some evil cream but I didn't know if I'd be allowed to use it on my eyelids. Apparently I can use it for a couple of days. Last day today then. Let's see how it goes from here. (If anyone needs a recommendation, I've found that Aveeno oat-based cream is the best for keeping eczema at bay once you've swatted it with steroid creams.)
That oat-based cream puts you at risk of being kissed by a horse, I'm sure.
Oatmeal
Yep. Oat-based products were always thought to be a palliative when I were a lad, and I use Aveeno hand cream myself on my hands and in my ears. That said, I also use Mometasome cream and lotion, and on a recent re-occurrence of the odd leg-scurvy, some ointment made of what looks like petroleum jelly mixed with coal tar. I feel like the bloke from Going Postal who had the explosive socks sometimes.
Eeep, not been here in a long time!
Eeep, I've not been here in a long time! It's crazy. My hurricane lawyer now HAS my funds for repairing my house and how I'll have to take $9000 out to be able to keep staying at this hotel and pay my bills while my house is being repaired, but they are taking FOREVER in getting it to me! I'm definitely not happy with this lawyer. I'm struggling and have pulled some funds together for one more week right now . . . some of which I probably shouldn't have used, but I need to be able to extend and hopefully will have funds back . . . I will NEVER recommend this lawyer to anybody.
Getting blood out of a stone
(KS) Welcome back
[KagomeShuko] Very welcome back. Was worried!
[KS] You've been having a rough time over the last 2 years also. Will your settlement or other relief funds also pay for all your accommodation costs since the hurricane?
No auroras on Belgium, but a cracking conjunction this evening of Venus and Jupiter.
Ugh, it's awful!
[Simons Mith] [Bismarck] It's so awful! The settlement will get my house fixed, but I've already been depending on donations to stay the hotel! I told my contractor that I'll need to take out funds to stay. It won't get my house to the way she was going to make it all accessible for me, which isn't great, but I'll have my house back. Hopefully I'll get the last bit of money from a car accident settlement (different lawyer) and maybe that'll pay for my house to be more the way that I want.
Project Tiddles (South)
Following in the footsteps of Rab, I'm starting my own Project Tiddles.

Phase 1: gotta get a cat flap, or no one will even consider me for entiddlification. That's due for this Thursday.

I had never really considered getting a cat at this address before, because I'm right on a main road and I'm not really willing to accept even a low probability of a poor mog getting squished.

But then I belatedly realised (belated by $%&^$% years) that if I got a cat that was elderly, defective or otherwise unable to go out, then the road wouldn't matter nearly so much. So that's the plan. Find an old slow animal that can't be bothered to move much and spoil it rotten for its retirement

I've laid on Bird TV for it already, so we'll both have something to look at out of the window

Pets, slow
[Simons Mith] have you considered taxidermy?
[Radox] That's... not a bad idea except that a taxidermied cat would need at least occasional dusting. I consider that a step backwards from the live versions, which are self-cleaning.
Playing the Rosie Card.
When did "taxidermied" (which MS Edge doesn't even think is a word) replace "stuffed" in the discourse concerning dead, straw-filled roadkill?
I asked this in another forum recently and was assured it was to spare the sensibilities of those who would confuse a once-live but now stuffed animal cadaver with a build-a-bear.
Rebuild-A-Bear
[Stevie] You've just given me the most marvellous business idea.
Mister Flopsy, TriColour Dutch: a rabbit dead as a doornail
Gentlemen we can rebuild him
We have the technology
We have the capability to make the world's first bionic rabbit
Mister Flopsy will be that rabbit
Better than he was before
Better, Smarter, Fluffier
Taxidermiing
[Stevie] If you can't verb taxidermy, you can't have taxidermiing as a gerund. That alone should be reason enough.
(SM) Good thinking. You can't verb anything because verb is not a verb except when it is. I have now fulfilmentized my role as a member of the grammar and style police (fel aelod yr heddlu gramadeg ac arddull in Welsh BTW FWIW).
I'm half-Welsh, but I'm struggling with how to pronounce Btwfwiw.
(CdM) Try half of it then. The bigger half.
Since nouns are too often verbed, can we balance the trend by nominalizing verbs (other than the speaking entirely in gerunds)?
What's the verb form of 'nutrition'? Nutritioned? Nutritised?
nutrit, nutritted, nutriting
It's not a popular word. In use, it sounds a bit too much like something else.
(SM, pen) Nutrify. Sgoddaby.
Nourish, surely.
You can't fool us
The adjectival -ish suffix means like, or somewhat, so 'nourish' clearly means something that's a bit noury.
(SM) I have a cousin-in-law who I wouldn't be so ungallant as to describe her as a large dog but she is nevertheless Danish.
Does that imply "dish" means "like the letter D" then?
Yes, and the same for 'fish' and 'wish' too. One of the great benefits of having a highly consistent language like English is that these rules are 100% reliable.
Langur ages
Ah, but you speak of Engl, not the debased English!
Oh yeah. That is a good point.
So, if some town planner decides to make a location vaguely resemble a Birmingham suburb, would that be astonishing?
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