They have not responded to the 'Barwick Green' signal yet. I actually dreamt I met them last night - and didn't like them. Do I sound obsessed? What I absolutely mustn't do is go round, knock on the door and introduce myself. That would be so not English - they might take me for a foreigner.

Why not take them a lump of coal? You don't have to treat them as Southern English people?

On the other hand, they might be Dutch expats who have returned home.

The suspense is killing me. There's also a Dutch registered car there now. I think Phil might be right. What's wrong with staying in the UK???!

[pen] pots and kettles spring to mind...