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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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retsinis
Ah, the fun we had playing with each other's names spelled backwards... [Chalky] a calligrapher? I did calligraphy O level (an 'A', natch!). My handwriting used to be pretty spectacular but it has gone downhill ever since - I blame it one reporting on town council meetings and magistrates courts without bothering to learn shorthand.
[dominance] My right side is *so* dominant... I even find it difficult to kick a ball or take a step downstairs if I have to use my left foot first.
Although right handed, I can use a computer mouse with either hand. In fact I can use two computer mice at once on two different computers. I can write better with my right foot than my left hand though.
Handwriting
[epolenep] Yes - calligrapher, although I do lots of other stuff with lettering aswell - hotel/pub signs, blackboards [hence the Chalky moniker] although I haven't used actual chalk for years. It was the '0' level that started me off aswell - but this is the first time in my life I've 'done it for a living'. After college in London, my career was in publishing, broadly speaking. My name, backwards, is very Russian.
Left vs Right
My ex-boss was a left-handed mouser despite being a right-hander since he claimed that it was more natural to type with one's right hand.
You're supposed to type with both hands.
typing
I was going to say that!
snorgs - get back into AVMA!!
innerestin
I am reasonably ambidextrous, although my right hand has had many more years practice at writing than my left. If I draw with my left hand, it's a little slower and less steady, but the emotional content of the drawings can be quite, how to say, extraodinary. I use a mouse with my right hand at work and my left at home. No particular reason. I have no eye dominance either.
[snorgle] That's cos we're symmetrical. There's a whole area of visual and developmental therapy about that sort of thing - why it's easier to mirror actions than translate from one side of the body to the other.
[Dujon] dunno. I've never actually bothered, believe it or not.
[rab] Fascinating. I know people who must listen to the phone with their right ear, to the extent that when they have to write something down, they have to do this weird crossover thing to hold the phone there.
[typing] I'm soooo glad I learnt to touch-type in high school. It saves a lot of time.
and one other thing before I go back to marking #*@$^%& assignments...
[Chalky] Here, "Chalky" is a nickname for schoolteacher. Like Brickie for builder/builder's labourer, Sparky (electrician), Chippy (carpenter)...
He was always a backwards boy...
I can still sing a fair chunk of Waltzing Matilda backwards (I believe this originally came from a character in one of the later series of the Adventure Game)
Stuff
(Dujon) It's oktas, old son. None here for several days. Water shortage next year unless we get a soaking wet winter, at least in the SE. (flerdle) One of my teachers was nicknamed Chalky, but his name was White. We also had Pinhead. We used to recite "we call him Pinhead because he is bald and his name is Steele". Taught maths; a nice man. A mate married his daughter. (re sinisterity) I'm totally southpaw, except for mouse, scissors, toothbrush and bumwipe. RH is stronger, LH cleverer. BTW an anagram of my name is "rough stud, he". I wish. :-)
anagrams
I'm rubbish at anagrams. I either get them right away or not at all!
shibbur
[Anagrams] Ain't that the way... an anagram of my name is 'Just When I Rent It' and my father's (much to my mother's amusement) worked out to be 'Rich Tart When Rid'.
[Sinisterity] Mouse, Scissors, Toothbrush, Bumwipe?!!! *chortle* Word disociation, unless I'm mistaken!
anagrams
An anagram of my name - 'THE VODKA PANTRY' - seems I can't get away from the Russian connection. Incidentally, never touch the stuff.
[penelope] Wot! your name's not penelope?!?
My name doesn't anagram well; probably one of the best is "Razz arid nerd"
anagrams?
Most anagrams of my name look like Rambling Syd Rumpo songs...I blame the four Gs.
Here's one
"Leg ringer - glory jog"...which is a euphoric dance done after getting Shane Warne, Richie Benaud, or JLE to be on your club XI. :)
Puzzlers
Here I am trying to guess all your real names and can only conclude you're a rather bizarrely monikered bunch what with Horst de Ughu (Rosie) and Petra van Kodthy (Chalky) in our midst. Mind you, that Dexter 'Anal' Relhirdy-Bach sounds like a dubious character...
anagramattic
I can only offer Large parrot ambush...
'Daq Update
Ahnold has hit £1k/share....gaaah!
Large parrots
[GIII] Now that one is easy to decode...
Anagram names
I've never worked out an anagram of my name. But from the evidence given, I suspect the real name of "penelope" to be Justine, with Richard being her father's (surname eight letters: E,H,I,N,R,T,T,W in alphabetical order). Not sure about Chalky but she could well be a Kathryn (remaining surname letters A,D,E,O,P,T,V). Graham (surname from A,B,E,L,O,P,R,R,S,T,U, unless you've used a middle name as well) and Darren (surname, if this is to be believed, from A,D,I,R,Z,Z) may be using their real first names here. Not sure about Rosie, but s/he could be a Hugh (remaining surname letters D,E,O,R,S,T,U)...

Anybody got a good anagram for "Jonathan Ellis"?

Handedness: I'm right-handed in most things, but ambidextrous when piano-playing or trying to catch things one-handed. Can't throw or write left-handed. Feet are not so much ambidextrous as ambi-sinister (equally incompetent with both, when playing football), and I think I favour my left eye more than my right.

Real names?
Pen: I believe you are right.
Chalky: Dunno.
G3: Dunno.
Darren: Not a clue.
Rosie: He. Sorta close.
You: the best I come up with is "Johann Ale List"....
[JLE] Using ag(), the best I can get is "jail tonal hens", "Jean halts lion", "jeans halt lion", "join Hell, Satan", "hasten, join all", "jeans into hall", and "shallot in Jean".
My name has four H's and 9 vowels vs. 17 consonants so it's practically impossible to get anything.
Marks out of five?
Darren's surname seems likely to be Izzard. I can see why it's a bugger to anagram. Penelope's is trickier- all those consonants. I'm going to go for 'Whittern', as the most likely of an unlikely bunch of alternatives ('Penelope Threwtin', anyone?) Graham is indeed, I think, using a middle name. After a long blind alley in which I was convinced his surname was either Butler, I'm now going with 'Graham Paul Roberts' If Rosie is indeed named Hugh, his surname might be 'Stroude'. But from Dr Q's comment, I suspect s/he isn't. Maybe by 'sorta', Dr Q was hinting that the surname is Hugh, or more likely Hughes. But that leaves a pretty odd bunch of letters to make a first name out of- is there such a first name as 'Tudor'? Finally, I don't think Chalky's name is Kathryn, since we have the additional clue that spelt backwards it looks Russian. I therefore suggest she is that well-known Muscovite 'Yhtak Tropnevad', otherwise known as Kathy Davenport.
Proof Reading
Ahem. Either Butler or Porter. Not just 'either of these two butlers'.
granamas
Jonathan Ellis? Hmmm... how about 'Jeans Hit Noll', 'Ah Jell in Snot', 'Halt Sloe Jinn', 'All Hens Joint'or even 'Anal Hens I Jolt'? I could go on, but I won't - I'll just point you here.
I'm useless
by 'here, I meant - http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html
revealed
[Prof Plum] Smartarse. And have you Googled me too?
Well, Prof, it's not that hard to deduce my name as I already gave it away in Orange some time ago!!! My anagram software of choice is Anagram Genius which is absolutely superb. They also make Crossword Maestro which solves cryptic crossword clues. (And no, I didn't use it to solve Wol's, in case you're wondering!)
Anagrams again
I think I'll adopt "Join Hell, Satan" as my Official Anagram ;-)
[Darren] I'm flattered you thought it might be necessary! Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm ADDIIIKLLNVW. But there's a clue somewhere in the archives.
Another way to find our real names
[Prof Plum] Try the old PantsMC Profiles.
Half a quarter
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification - I've only ever heard the word and never read it. I was going to check but became sidetracked and then forgot. Interesting that your right hand is the stronger even though you are basically left handed. My wife and son are both a bit of each. The son writes left handedly but does many right handed movements - including eating. My wife on the other hand (sorry!) eats back to front but writes with her right hand - perhaps as a result of the inconsiderate influence of school teachers in days of yore.
Mix and Match
Incidentally, Rosie, your name could be altered to 'Hough duster' which, I suppose, would indicate that you may be a butcher's assistant?
Names
My name actually is Breadmaster. You can imagine the ribbing I got at school.
Anagrams
(Prof Plum) 5 out of 5 for your final guess. Unfortunately, a further anagram is "oh, huge turds". (The best type, in my experience). (Dr Q) Can't figure out your surname, even if I've got your first name right. Is it British-ish?
Named!
[Rosie] No, Dad's side is German.

[BM] Were you baked? :)
I win
I BET you can't guess my name. Anagram is 'I am a ferret penn'. I'll check in and see how you're getting on ;)
[Bm] Is that why your publisher insisted on "Hill" as a pseudonym?
prunings
Ian Prefenmater?
[Angus] How about "Anne-Marie Petfer" or "Ferna P. Tremaine" or "Farmer Pete Nani" or "Martin A. Penfree" or "Nate F. Repairmen"?
[Angus] Ian Peter Freman?
I think I did this before...
CMd; dCM; dMC; MdC; McD. Oh. You mean real names...
There's nothing quite like...
Hm. McD kind of suits you, CdM.
Pseudonymous writes
[Raak] That's right, the unimaginative fools.
So they called you Breadmaster Hill then?
There ought to be a prize if anyone managed to get my name out of "OUI A MANGLED WIG".
blaine
Well, Blaine's out now, so hopefully I'll make some dosh on celebdaq. I found it odd, though, that he sounded rather like Jack Nicholson after he got out! Also, I'm sure that some cockney shouted something like "You're a wanker!" in the background as he was being released.
[Lotus] Yes, but then you *do* descend from several improbably mixed nationalities ;-)
"Why, O dramatist?" (Lines that should have been written by someone else)
Who am I? Arty st d.?
S. Mith (a wry toad)?
Martha (DIY swot)?
__tim__ (a sad worthy)
Thos (am a dry wit)?
Matt (why so arid?)?
Or Watty? ("Hm" said
A Tay wordsmith,
"What a dim story.")
Out of a mangled wig
LotUS] Nice to meet you Luigi Gawedoman.
Cross-posted to MCiOS
I'd just like to report a conversation that just happened right infront of my very eyes in my office:

Scene: Manager is talking to new resource who has arrived in Paris and who had his cellphone stolen on his first day here.

Manager: So what did you think of your "welcome" to Paris?
Employee: Yes, I went walking at the weekend.
Manager: No. I mean your "welcome" to Paris.
Employee: Oh! Thank you.
Manager: Nevermind.
[JLE] Well, yes, that's true. But my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname.
[BtD] Not even close but it's a great idea for a pseudonym!
crossposted from MCiOS
[Chalky] You know you were asking whether we had a make-up artist. Well, we still don't and only just over a week to go, so if you have any leads now's the time to mention them. :-)
I saw some Sinhalese writing a while back, it had a really lovely look, all circles and spirals. That observation isn't really relevant to anything, it's just LotUS's comment reminded me of it.
Sinning
Yes it is very beautiful - learn about it here.
ISIHaC - been there, done that
[Tuj, BtD & anyone else who's interested] We had a truly splendid time at the Theatre Royal Winchester last night. I won't spoil anything by talking about either the guest or the content - [the shows go out on the 17 & 24 Nov as the first two of the series] - but I'll be interested to hear how they edit at least 2 and a half hours of quality stuff into neat half hour slots. It's a small theatre - perfect for comedy. On several occasions the tears really were rolling down my cheeks. Humph was magnificent [doesn't he work hard?] and we even managed to 'mingle with the stars' after the recording.
[Tuj] re. your comments in AVMA - I managed to get tickets because penelope, back in the summer, on receipt of the BBC4 online newsletter [or suchlike], posted in MCiOS the 3 venues and dates for this series. I'm only half an hour's drive from Winchester so I rang the theatre - all tickets were sold within 2 hrs. We were lucky.
ISIHAC
So unfair... My partner saw it live ten years ago, so my chances of going to see it are slim I feel. Back to the anagrams, would it help you to guess if I told you I'm not male?
Cinderella Hawk Beam
You can get some quite rude anagrams from my real name.
A top dative MS jinx
Michael!?
Hello hello hello, what's all this, then?
[Angus Prune] Do you have a long surname?
Ms? Prune
Angus] Marie Fen-Patern?
Evenin' all
Sorry Boolbar X-posted.
Names...
Got it. Boolbar is Native American - Michael Elk Bear Dawn.
ISIHAC
[Chalky] Having seen it in Bournemouth (Pavilion Theatre, Mon 30th Oct, 2000, 7:30pm, as my treasured ticket tells me - and Sandi Toksvig laughter rings in my ears yet) not too long ago, my memory should have recalled you need to be pretty sharp to get'em. Never mind.
anagrams
and so is no-one going to identify my earlier anagrammatical impersonation?
Projoy?
anagrammatical impersonator
All anagrams of Timothy Saward - damned clever :-)
anagrammaticaphylactic shock
[Cdm] that is so clever
Request
Projoy - could you email me? (crossposted from Orange, for which I apologise)
*blush*
[CdM] And what's more, I puzzled over them for ages yesterday. I'm also completely rubbish at Countdown too. [Dunx] Email received and replied to.
How?
[Ibid] So close!
Michael Andrew Blake
...meet David Willink.
[MF] Correcto! - just the wrong order
grama nams
CdM] That was brilliant.
Boolbar] Nice to meet you Blake Micheal Andrew.
Random Horrid Wreckage
...is my favourite anagram of my (full) real name.
Pretty please.
Could I just repeat my request for the monthly music supplement that came in last Sundays Observer? *waves money*
[FG] Mick God-Adorer H. Warren? Sounds like a tele-evangelist. :o)
An anagram of my full real name....
...would be longish. I wonder if I can come up with one.
[FG] Ow! Order keg, mr Arachnid!
Observer Music
[Boolbar] I think I can get a copy from a friend this evening. Where do I send it again?
stuff at boolbar plop vispa plop com
[Chalky] Ooooh! That would be splendid! email above. expenses paid etc.
E-mail
[Boolbar] Am wondering if I translated your email address correctly. If so, there should be one waiting for you.
spam spam spam spam
[Chalky] Yes, you are nestling between the nice African chappy who wants to share his fortune with me and the breast enlargement emails.
Anagrams
I'm feeling kinda jealous of all the people with glib anagrams, like Fat German.
Ana-kilo-gram
[Néa] The short form of your name yields "Lager liken manna"...whatever that means. I'm currently feeding your full name (assuming it really *is* what you put on your webpage :) into my anagram generator...which is unfortunately on a SparcClassic 50MHz box....
back in my day muttermuttermutter
Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen, that's what I say. .. :-)
Ana-mega-gram
[CdM] You try her name with paper/pen then!

[Néa] I can get the word "Goddess" out of it, which should shorten it up a bit. :D
Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar.
Oh, by the way, an anagram of "Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen" is "Damnable, general-purpose gonorrhea contaminates Andy-Pandy."
deary me
Yikes! I get all caught up and don't visit for a couple of days, and look what happens! This is all a bit too tiring to think about at the moment.

Oh, and no more spiders for the time being.

Even more anagrams
flerdle = "Censored pearl". :)
You've all gone really strange
Hmmmmmm.
very well then, Dr Q,...
Here is a list of things that Nea likes.

Start:
JRR Tolkien
Tea
Miranda
Mets
Language
End.

(OK, I might have lied about one of them...)
Here's some anagrams of Néa's full name (assuming the one on the site is real), taking the é as an e.
"Maladjusted, tiger-like, stagnant, rare ornament."
"Jauntier, darkened, meatiest, gallant strong-arm."
"Radiant man-eater strangulating molested jerk."
"A daunting tearjerker demonstrates I'm gallant."
"Maladjusted Terminator enraging rattlesnake."
"Rattling junk arrangement misleads toad-eater."
"Alert sugarlike madman and ignorant jet-setter."
"Major rattling as gentleman streaked, urinated." shame she's not a man in this case!
"Talented alarmist and jauntier strong-arm geek."
"I am a daring, non-judgemental streaker. Let start!"
"Strong, dreamlike talent and jauntier megastar."
"Transmitted ranking as talented major-leaguer."
"I am, ranking adjustments, a grander teetotaller."
I could go on with these!
Actually..
Hope those don't annoy Néa too much. Sorry if they do, but that's what the program came up with (along with several thousand others).
aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh
[DrQ] I think i prefer "ponder cereals"
Red Fell
Close panderer?
Red Fell
Or a spec lender? (Red spec loaner)
Spread clorene?
One disadvantage ef anagram programs is that they will tend to come up with real words.

What do you mean, "That's the point"? Harrumph.

Patch cocky, bent grammar
[Darren] Do you know what it is ? Is it a name ?
Annoyed??
I'm flattered! (Not to mention rolling around laughing.)
Managra
I have found out that my name works out as: Lanky Baron Bronchitis!
[Boolbar] Yeah, I know what it is. I made it. No, it's not a name (well, not in the conventional sense).
However
Sorry, Darren, but I'm more impressed with CdM's list - I don't think he used any anagram software to extract "JRR Tolkien" from my name ;-) (and who says I don't like the Mets? I'm a basketball aficionado, I am!)
anagrams
[Boolbar] Apologies for late reply - no I do not have a long surname - both names are 7 letters long
[AP] Surname = Freeman?
Crossposted from everywhere, but the last time, I promise
A final plug for Dracula - The Vampire Strikes Back - on at a theatre probably not too near you next week (Fri night already sold out!), and written by Thos and myself, and achieved with assorted much-appreciated support from the talented Martha, Dunx, gil, Chalky, Darren, matt, Lib and blamelewis (I think that's everyone).
Boolbar
Yes. 1st prize witheld till you get the first name though.
wild guess
Petela?
that's only got six though. hmmm
aaah
I see, forgot the last n.
left field
Pantele would be sufficiently obscure. If you were sort of Greek.
Anagrams
A bit of effort on my own (full) name yielded:Phronje nebricist, hish rahm mupe.
Or the more realistic, if odd: Screen obit.: Humph Jr. in Hampshire
Garbology
[Tuj] Christopher Benjamin Humphrie (or some combination thereof) perhaps?
No, I think Tuj must be his initials. Now, the T is obviously Thomas, which is straightforward enough. The U is trickier -- a google search for "first name beginning with U" reveals Uffe as the only possibility; I must assume that he spells it Uphphe, though. And then the last name falls into place easily. You stand exposed ... Thomas Uphphe Jirribschreinnem!
10 points to Dujon
First 2 the wrong way round, and the surname missing an S at the end (think that's my fault), but right nonetheless. Until I go and change it to what CdM suggetsted, of course.
mane
My name's an anagram of "I'm tired" [CdM] LOL
mealweblis
Sounds better than "dim rite", anyway :-)
Oh, huge turds
(flerdle) Tim Reid? Gotta be!
anagrams
My full name is -- I bent cute lean ice frogs.
flerdle
Don't have an l in my name. In alphabetical order, first name is aeinprt.
more results
And there has been another change to the top of the celebrity league, well really what I mean is its snorgle .... again!!!! A majestic run allegedly started in August and interrupted breifly just three times .
Angus
I have NO idea where I got that from. Ah well.
celebdaq
Mwoohahaha! I have downtraded to just under 1 million, so fingers crossed for next week - let's see.. I wonder if it's too early for another Keanu binge?
[AP] Ah ... you must be a Petrina then. Please say you don't live anywhere near Salisbury, Wiltshire. I have knowledge of a Petrina in this area who's a bit erm ..

[snorgs] Well done gal. Perhaps you can tell me - WHY OH WHY when for the first time, I put my ten grand on a Royal thinking he's going to get shedloads of column cms because of What The Butler Did - his chuffin' share price goes down?

'daq
[snorgle] I'm set up for a Wayne Rooney payoff myself, but I haven't heard about his 18th birthday blow-out yet.
chalky
I'm constantly expanding my knowledge of Petrinas. There's very few of us around. I know of just two others - plus that one in Salisbury. Can you define 'a bit erm..'? I don't know what you mean. I'm not her though!
anagrams
Names, from first to last: 7, 6, y.
anagrams
I mean 7, 6, 8
rarity?
There was a girl at school a year after me called Petrina Green. This was not a large school, either. I see nothing unusual in the name.
Petrina?
I've never seen that name before it was mentioned here.
aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw
Clues: Three 'given' names - all common - and one 'family' name. Origin of family name, N.W. England (and, surprisingly quite a few in Ireland.) No I am not a 'scouse' and the family name does not begin with O'. Them as have seen my real name are constrained from posting; it'd hardly be fair! I must admit that I've never attempted an anagram of my names, so it will be interesting to see what appears on this page.
Memories....
I knew a Petrina who was at secondary school with me in Somerset, I think she moved to Yeovil - poor thing.
Tina the Ice Frog
Is your first name Rebecca? I can also get Tina from your letters but 7,6,8 won't allow it. I have a feeling I'm overlooking something obvious...
no c's
No Rebecca here. And Tina can be a nickname. In fact is.
Not a Becca
Hmm. Am I barking up the wrong tree assuming that you are Female?
Petrinas
[Huxley] Did she look like a witch?
[Angus] Definition of 'a bit erm ...' see above :-)
Qualifying street
Chalky] Do you mean 'a bit erm' in the assumption of gender sense or do you mean that I am 'a bit erm' too?
Tina] - I'd better qualify that 'cos you've said your nick-name is Tina...
Nicknames can be very deceptive. I knew a Fairy (male), a Pinny (male), a Pog (female) and a Beardy (female). I am male and was (boringly) hailed by surname.
Chalky] Oops. You meant she looked like a ...
What a dickhead I am :o)
Genderbiased
Bob]Yes, female, today anyway.
Chalky
[Huxley]Yes she did. At the time, her last name began with an "H" and ended with an "R".
chuckling at Bob
[Bob] Ah! So you don't look like a witch, eh? More like a dic.....
Lost
I could be wrong but it appears we haven't worked out the following

DrQu+xum - "Leg ringer - glory jog"
Wol - "ADDIIIKLLNVW"
LotUS - "OUI A MANGLED WIG" (my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname)
Fat German - "Random Horrid Wreckage"
Uncle Korky - "Lanky Baron Bronchitis"
Tina - "I bent cute lean ice frogs" (7,6,8)
and Dujon's recent "aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw" above.
Also Darren asked "Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar".
So no work for me today then.
[DrQ] Gregory?

Or "A top dative MS jinx"
Uncle K
Tranbon? Bontran?
Wol
David Winkill?
The Gettin' Aquainted Game
Blimey - at this rate we'll all be on first 'real' name terms pretty soon. Having done the birthdays/starsigns, I wonder what's next on the disclosure list? I have to say, though, it's rab I feel the most sympathy for - having to go through life with the surname Angrycake.
Huxley's Somerset Petrina
sorrysorrysorry multipost
I don't think it's the same one, Hux. Phew! The one here in Salisbury, apart from resembling a she-bat, was once extremely and unnecessarily rude to my mother, which I suppose somewhat colours my opinion of her.
Here we go
[Boolbar] Yup, but I usually go by my surname...and the J is just my middle initial.
[Btd] Winkill? That sounds like a wonderful suggestion. :)
[Duj] And all this time I thought VK2IUI was your name!
Anagrams
My dear old mum is 92 today - alive and well. Anyone like to have a go at the wonderful anagram of her maiden name - "Golden Manure". Two Welsh names.
Yes,but...
Willink sounds more likely, as I mentioned earlier.
[Rosie] Megan Lounder?
Du what jon?
Dujon] Ah ha! Do I have the pleasure of the company of Dr John Vollowbangs?
mum's the word
[Rosie] My grannie turns 94 in a couple of weeks. Her maiden name was rather odd/unusual, and comes out as "Shock Fido: beep!"
...or should that be ORKNEY LUCK...?
[Martha] I have to confess that I have an unconventional middle name (which was, in fact, my late mother's maiden name)...
Branton?
AABEEHHILMOTTSZ
Feeling the need to join in, although can't create a witty anagram so you just get the letters. (9,6)
Tricky these German names, eh, Tobias Hählmetz?
A ham Bizet hostel - Elizabeth Thomas
Lib
The Omaha Blitzes
Atomize hash belt
The Zambia hotels
And one that was *almost* interesting: Hot Blithe amazes.... :)
Re: Lib
"Blaze hot, his team!"
Lifting the disguise
[BtD] Very good! You've discovered that it indeed is Elizabeth Thomas in the drawing room with the lead piping!
Wiry Naked Anarch
Chuckling
[Btd] Nice one! At least the 'John' is right. ... :-)
Grow a penis
Not an insult or personal attack on any of you, but rather a classic American political anagram.
[DrQ, re your last] Omg.
Bang to rights.
[Martha] Got it in one!
flerdle's grandma
"coke-fed bishop".
Daq daq daq
As the league seems to be diminishing, I can offer my 3rd & 4th personas to fill any vacant places...
Concerning Tom's rent
I'm hopeless at anagrams. Plus, I think everyone knows my name - but just in case you don't, I will cheat..(and use one of those internet anagram thingies) Bam Sally on chin
Red carpet
Uncle Korky] I'd be willing to add your other accounts to the league, my greatest fear would be if snorgle opened a second or third with different potfolios. I have considered opening a third as a holding account with a couple of blue chip stock, then wait for a news story (which could take weeks). That way it can be put to one side bobbing around the bottom, just to be opened on fridays to check the divis. Its a different stategy I haven't tried yet. Anyone else?.
Post your id when your ready.
celebdaq
Don't worry! I can't be bothered to open up any others - this one seems to be going just fine. I don't know why I do so well, I just sink all my money into one or two of the most popular shares that I think will be in the papers a lot, and it seems to work. I also read the forums as they tend to name the popular ones - that was why last week I was 50/50 on Blaine and Tweedy.
Winkill
[Btd] I like it! - but MF was spot on. [Dujon] David Andrew John Blooghs? (One of the famous Blooghs brothers ...) - the capital I was cunning.
snorgle
Haven't figured out your name, but your letters come up with another anagram so incredibly wrong, I'm posting in white letters and already getting my coat. my balls on a chin
Stuff
(snorgle) Allison (or Alison) unusual-or-non-British-surname? (Martha Farquar) Mum's maiden name was Eluned Morgan. (Dr Q) Gregory J. Gollinger?
if you can't beat them.
well I have been looking at you lot and decided I would see what happeend with my name (christian/family)......I quite liked the following :-
Shrill Pit Probe.
Rebirth Psi Poll.
Bellhop Trip Sir ?
Brothels Rip Lip.
Brie Thrills Pop !
Hill Tribe Props.
Pre-British Poll.
Lo! Birth Ripples !
Both Reps Ill: RIP.
....or Help Lib Strip?
Poll B : I strip her.
ventriloquist Q?
[Dr Q] Gottle of Gollinger? :oD
Foo!
[Rosie] You should've known that already -- you've gotten e-mails from me before :P My great-grandmother's family were Morgans as well. Her whole dad's side came over circa 1870 and mined throughout Western Pennsylvania.
[pen] I'll have you know my dad is an amateur winemaker.... I'd send you some but I wager such stuff would not be exactly legal for export.
[St Dogmael] Is your name by any chance Robert Phillips? Or Philip R. Lobster? ;-)
nanny grams
[Rosie]Unusual given name (ie not english). [DrQ] :D
spot on !
JLE] Indeed it is. My sister is called Helen Lobster.
World of Petrinas
It is strange that everyone else's knowledge of the name is of someone who is a complete cow, or mental case! I hope I don't fit into that category...[goes off to worry in a corner] Just for the record, I've never lived in Salisbury or Yeovil or indeed anywhere in Somerset.
I'm always impressed by how dull anagrams of my name tend to be - I know I'd be pretty unhappy with seeing my name on a Scrabble rack.
Pert Deer Rang
That should take you a couple on minutes to decipher.
After a couple of minutes...
Peter Gardner, I presume?
Capital
[Wol] Sorry about the capital 'i', my error; at least being in alphabetical order must have helped. David is correct, so one given and the family name now required.
It appears I'm back.
Oy!
[Angus Prune] I said nothing of the sort!
Name appreciation
It's funny how one's reaction to a name can be coloured by the looks and personality of those one has met who carry such. To be honest my input to the naming of our daughter was certainly influenced by that aspect - damned if I know why as I am usually reasonably pragmatic (I think.) However, I did do my two children a disservice - although totally unintentionally - when they turned out to be Peter & Wendy ... some parents should be drawn and quartered!
One additional thing to think about, if you desire to avoid pain and suffering to your progeny: try to avoid using a vowel as the first letter of a middle name. Always look at what the initials spell. No joking.
Self-defence
(Dr Q) All I knew from your emails is that you were "Greg". The rest is informed guesswork. (Dujon) 3 given names, eh? As I know the answer I must shut up. (St Dogmael) Proper shit, Bill. Er, sorry.
Correctness
You are so right, flerdle. Together with my wife I attempted to make sure that there were no 'hidden' embarrassments. At the last minute (were we not stupid!) my daughter's second given name became Katherine. [Rosie] Given that you know my family name, I'm assuming that you have worked out (not too hard) the 'missing' one? Anyhoooo, schtum; it should not be too hard for the others.
middling
I don't have a middle name... none of my sisters do, neither did my father, and it was because my grandfather hated his that the tradition began. I sometimes thought that was why we were given rather more exotic first names than the norm (at the time we were born).
Parental naming.
If a different sperm gained victory, I would be called Elizabeth. As it was I narrowly avoided being Ashley (horrah!)
Increasing schizophrenia
[Inkspot] My other accounts are:
Mavic_Chen (3402569) &
Johnny_McDozenlegs (3411069).
proper shit, bill!
rosie] that's the best yet ! I must say I would have quite liked the initials RIP. :o) As it is I am RDP, which I also quite like I suppose, especially as it appears to be written at the edges of Fuji 120 roll film (RDP III) so I claim it ALL as my own. Apparently I was named after an Argentinian Golfer (Roberto di Vicenza)
Stuff
(St Dog) I didn't use an anagram-finder; it's just my filthy mind. If I had one of those dismal personalised car reg's the prime one for me would, I suppose, be 1TCH. My middle name is even more unusual and Welsh than my first name, and maybe unique at the present time, though you can find it on a map. No clues.
...and I claim my £5!
[Rosie] Tudor Clwyd Hughes?
'Y' reg - why Reg?
I was amused by a van in front of me with rearranged reg. M3 0W MY and disappointed in a car owner who missed the opportunity to rearrange A 12 SED.
wordage
Saw a sign outside a hairdresser's yesterday - 'Due to short staff, we will close at 4.30 today'. Also one in Ann Summers fitting room 'Please ask for assistance before entering' - had to share with the MC community! [flerdle]Which bit in particular?
Personal Plates
[Rosie] Well, I've tried to keep my personalised plates fairly simple - when I had an Audi A3 in Britain, I bought the plate "A3 DNX" (I saw at least one other A3 owner who had bought an "A3" plate too, so it wasn't just me). My TT here in Oregon has the plate "TT DNX" to maintain the tradition.

I saw quite an amusing one the other day... Oregon allows you to put pretty much any combination of six characters on your plate, with spacing of your choice. Usually the characters are centred, but someone had thought to put spaces in front of their word and: "  ASKEW"

Well, I liked it.

trying to remember...
[Angus Prune] The one I know is nice, not a weirdo.
Angus] I know a nice one too. Odd how experiences of names colour expectations. I always expect anyone called Tom to be fat. Josephines are manic and Phils are exceptionally hairy. I am a James...
That's interesting -- I've always remarked on the fact that everyone I've met named Brad has been a complete dickhead. Apologies to any Brads reading this...
Being hammered.
Bloody Hell!
It's bad enough being nailed down from time-to-time without being pilloried. (S'OK, Riff - only joking.)
Names
(Uncle K) Good guess! But wrong. Carry on. (B the D) To me, Josphines are...well...luscious, as are Sophies. (Dunx) Nice to see a bit of wit on a car plate. Don't get much of it over here. (All) Unfortunately, names can be a dead giveaway of social class and age though there are agreeable and surprising exceptions. I'd think I'd better stop there.
I'm possible
[Rosie] Surely not 'Cardiff'? That would be unique!
Brads and Sophies and Jims - oh my!
Sophies are a bit thick in my experience. My only experience of a Brad was from Neighbours years ago, and James is my father - nuff said! Sarahs and Jennies will always be the school bullies and Carol the friendly Brownie Guide leader!
Carols and Vals
I think I had a Brownie Leader called Val and a Guide Leader called Carol. Helens were in charge of the school playgound, Rebeccas were always lovely, Richards were always mean to me when I was 11 and Marks were good at football.
Just in case
Never trust a Richard, that's what I say...
If you think I've been unfair on Toms and Jos...
Angus] I shall have to start wearing cardigans with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe, reading the Sunday Times and asking the terrier to bring me my burgundy slippers then ;o)
Tracys are treacherous, Janets are kind, Lucys are imaginative, Peters are usually elderly, Johns are traditional and go to Church and/or have high moral fibre, Gareths are wily psychopaths, Steves are tough on the outside (but are marshmallow inside), Elizabeths are erotic, Julians are skinny, Joans are demanding and Mikes are obsessive and keep Pugs.
wading in ...
OK - may as well join the name-fest. All opinions grossly coloured by personal experience, naturally...
Ben's are brooding and charismatic; Paul's are sexy; Tim's are cute and need mothering; John's are very much as Bob has described [ = stuffy and a tad pompous], Mike's are alcoholics and every Andy I've known has been 'a bit of a geezer'. Oh yes - Charlie's are unfailingly popular, good company and amusing.
More prejudice
May as well 'do' some girls to even up the score. Kates are jolly and outgoing, whereas Catherines (and their various misspelt namesakes) are more reserved but usually a good egg. Jennys tend to be quiet and a bit secretive, Lucys prim and proper on the outside but probably quite wild inside whilst Sarahs are uptight and very image-conscious. Meanwhile I'm afraid that nearly every Laura I've ever met has been dull, dull, dull...
Back to Rosie's middle name
Colwyn? Conwy? Carnmarthen? Caernarfon? Caerphilly? Caldicot? Crickhowell? Chepstow? Criccieth? Clynnog? Ceredigion? Cwmdu? Cadair-Idris? Cambrian Mountains (The)?
girls
I never met a Claire that I didn't like so far. Also I seem to have a lot of Helen variants in my life at the moment [Sister Helen. flatmate Helena, good friend Hélène] and they are also all lovely. Tom's are usually very nice chaps though clumsy. Justines normally work in PR for Renault, and have very corny senses of humour.
Rosie] It's Carn-Ingli isn't it ?
indignant
rab] Misspelt? Misspelt? I'll have you know that the 'K' version of my name is just as traditional. Having said that, my particular spelling is unashamedly American - something to do with my father having the hots for the film star, Kathryn Grayson [so my mother tells me].
It's taken 2 simulposts to get this posting on to the screen ... must be busy 'out there'.
Simulposts
Simulposts part deux
Sorry Chalky, one of those would have been me misspelling Carmarthen.
simulsimulsimulposts
No apology necessary, Bigsmith. It's every man/woman for themselves. BTW - nice to see you :-)
stereo-typing similposts
rab] (yes!) I have to agree on the Laura front. Elaines are tall and broad (matronly), Joys are fey, Claires are outgoing and charismatic, Zoes are irresistible to all men and pretend they don't know it, Megans go to Cambridge Uni and get firsts, Felicitys are faithful and "enthusiastic”, Susans are calm and smart, Sandras are good at drawing dogs, Joannes are maternal, Julies work in travel agencies and K©atherines work so hard it makes an 82 hour week seem like a holiday in the Maldives.

On the bloke front, Daves, Petes, Donalds, Kevins, Rogers, Phils, Zebedees, Jamess etc are intimidated by Elaines, charmed by Joys, befriended by Claires, teased by Zoes, put in their place by Megans, married to Felicitys, sorted out by Susans, uncomfortable with Sandras, comfortable with Joannes, itemised by Julies and reprimanded by K©atherines for making such sweeping generalisations about female personalities.
First Ladies
I find it is the first letter that counts. I generally find that women with names beginning with J or K to be great all-rounders. E's are usually friendly and have a thing about Cliff Richard. A's are aggresive. B's are lacking in the brain department. M's and R's are beautiful but with problems. T's make for good wives. W's are off with the fairies. Z's are good at putting men down with lightning wit. C's tend to hide away and N's would be good at running the country.
My middle name
(Bigsmith, Duj, St D) None of the above. You may need a larger-scale map. Also it's the name (or pen-name) of a long-dead Welsh poet. Definitely not Chirk, which may just resonate with ex-Pants members, or, thank God, Cwmbran.
[CK]ath[ea]?r[iy]ne?s
(...for those who understand Perl regexps...)

[Chalky] Tongue-in-cheek, of course. The spelling doesn't really matter, but there is definitely a distinction between Kates, Katies and the above...

[BtD] Have to agree with you on almost all of those. I would also lump Jo(h)annas in with your Joannes... Also is it just me, but girls with hyphenated names can be a bit wet, possibly deriving from an indecision on the part of their parents.

[rab] :-) I get called Katy quite a lot by certain friends - must be when I'm being jolly. But usually I'm Kathryn to my mother, and Kathy to everyone else. The only name I object to is Kath - which always sounds like the cleaning lady. Anyway - enough of me ...
[Rosie] Do we know how many letters there are in your mysterious, geographical, extremely rare, begins with C middle name?
first letters..
What about S? (My real first name starts with S too..)
Sssss
[snorgle] S's usually wear woolly jumpers in the summer and laugh a lot.
continued exposure
[snorgle] Bam Sally On Chin? Did anyone get your anagram? If not - what's the letter split, I'll try and guess it.
Bool] What about J's?
[BtD] See above for female J's. I don't find it works for males.
i do not wear woolly jumpers in the summer!
chalky - 7 and 7..
My middle name that no-one knows
(Chalky) There are seven. People in Wales would know it. About 15 years ago I had a nasty car smash (not my fault, for once) in Croydon, Whitehorse Road. The police had to be called because the car was blocking the road and the copper who took my name was Welsh. He pronounced my middle name better than I did. Very embarassing, because my own speech, while mostly RP, has a good dash of saaf London in it. (snorgle) Surname Binchly? First name - I wouldn't be so bold. (Chalky, again) A friend has a daughter Kathryn (b. 1972) who now wishes to be called Kay. There's a main street in Croydon called Katharine Street, but the interesting thing is that locals, including me, always pronounce the last syllable to rhyme with "wine", "dine", "line" etc. There you go, as Melvyn Bragg would say.
Miss Pronunctiation
[Rosie] "ine" as in "wine"? Not a bad idea, I suppose, but my daughter's middle name rhymes with 'in', 'bin', 'sin' - which, in retrospect, was probably the correct thing to do. ... ;-) On your middle name, I shall drag out the atlas and have a hunt.
[snorgle] I am 'stumped' at the moment ... possibly my grey matter playing up ... Is your first name one which you would consider as common or is it rather unusual (as per Rosie's middle title)?
Bum
Off to Leeds for the day, so I'll probably have to bow out of the current round of AVMA guessage. Oh well... also slightly hungover after a complicated situation involving two bad pubs, three bottles of wine, a colleague of my nearest and dearest and my housemate...
Welsh poets
Rosie> Would it be Ceiriog, from John Ceiriog Hughes (1832-1887)? The surname led me to it. Also a small forest near Wrexham. If this isn't right then I'm afraid I for one will need another clue as I'm otherwise stumped. Chalky> Nice to be back ;-)
naming of names
snorgle] Sybilla?.
Rosie] By jove - I think B'Smiths got it!
Re. the 'wine' at the end of Katherine - 'tis heard in many a Shakespearean romp - enables the acTORRRR to en-UN-ciate and prrro-JECT the name in the finest tradition of Luvvie Deliverrreh [think Brian Blessed in The Taming of the Shrew].
Sybilla? Binchley? :D
My first name isn't in english, to be fair. My surname starts with 3 consonants, but isn't foreign.
snorgle's name
Oh, is it "Tchea-Fruit" like in Neopets?
Snorgling
Siobhan?
Neopets?
Darren, all those drugs are bad for you. You should stop taking them now. ooh simulpost! That's right Bob the Dog! My surname goes well with it too...
making up new names . . . .
simulposted twice ! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?
And I now see that BtD got there first . . . .
Stuff
(Bigsmith) Congratulations. That's me. Not sure about the forest you mention, but there's a river and village with the name. See http://www.chirk.com/ceiriog.html My Dad was from Glynceiriog. Bit of a writer himself. (Chalky) Never thought of it that way, the streets of Croydon not being awash with thespians. Another example could be Gilbert and Sullivan's "conservatives", rhyming with "knives". (snorgle) Would one of those three consonants be a "y"? Hmm...I'll have to have a think.
Little McNally?
Bool - great minds etc. - simulposted 4 times!. My message was to be
"simulposted! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?"
Uncanny McNally
Gimmie pie
I have just been offered some pumpkin pie, fresh from the oven and made with our own eggs and pumpkins. Wow it is good! Anyone else for a slice? snorgle] Are we right?
I'll shut up soon
Siobhan - is this you?
namesakes
Yep - you're all right. Except for Rosie. [Bob the dog] No, although I've seen that before! Apparently my namesake works for the Sunday Mirror.. there's also a Queen of the Universe!
Ceiriog Valley
(Rosie) Checked out the website - I've been thereabouts, many years ago on a canal boat holiday on the Llangollen. I was therefore most interested in the page about the aquaducts. Just the ticket for a boring Friday afternoon in the office - thanks old chap!!
I Want Pie
[Btd] My first Thanksgiving two years ago when I met my now brother-in-law for the the first time was memorable mainly for his reaction to the news that I Had never had pumpkin pie, and yet it's barely known outside the US. Very strange.

Actually, I tell a lie - a Bulgarian colleague was telling me that there is a Bulgarian pumpkin pie, but it is more akin to baclava with pumpkin layered between the pastry.

Laid, Unsprayed and Made in England
Dunx] This is a UK pie to a US recipe. Best I've had.
Pie! Pie! Pie!
Bob the Dog] E-mail me some pie as an attachment. In addition to the pie, we have the wonderful mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, cole slaw with a hint of horseradish, sometimes sweetpotatoes, cranberry jelly on rolls with butter, and creamed onions (small white onions in a cream sauce with celery seed as the primary flavoring). And of course, there's the turkey. I like the crisp skin the best.
stop it!
You're making my mouth water - I'm having Tuna Steak tonight. And I want to have a bash at making a chowder. Has anyone got any recipes for chowders other than the clam variety because a) I don't like seafood and 2) Tesco's don't have clams.
Yummyons
Tina] Please send recipe for creamed onions - it is a dish we don't do here!
surreal spamming
My most recent wierd spam subject was Re:Handbags of antelopes. Whaaa?
Bob Yummyons
Will do, but it will take a couple of sessions. My family is very possessive of its recipes.
surreal spam
(snorgle) HANDBAAAGS? (© Dame Judy Dench). Did you read the spam?
spamspamspam
It was something about mortgages, apparently. Hotmail blocks linked images from appearing for privacy, so I missed out on some no doubt vital and personally useful information, but there you go. The ones I hate are the sneaky subjects like re:report, or I'm sorry I offended you. But surreal ones are at least vaguely amusing..
Creamed Onions for Bob the Dog
Just got this note from my sister in Albuquerque. "use small, not tiny, white onions. Boil them until tender. Drain and add a tiny bit of flour mixed in some milk, then some cream, salt, pepper and butter. I don't have any meaurements. I also add some parsley or finely sliced scallions. I often add a piece of garlic when boiling." As to the garlic and scallions, my mother never did that. For the salt, she used celery salt.
more drum roll
There has been a change at the top at Celebrity MC congratulations to Chalky in going to No1 just two weeks after being kneecapped.
Inkspot's previous
PANIC! Thanks for your report; However, unlike Chalky I'm panicking. Just changed horses for the bolt to the line; am I going to fall over into the 2-million (grab two green wads and convert them to a flashy car) or am I going to be robbed of my £950,000 and fall back into the arms of the following wolves? My heart is racing, my brow is perspiring and, frankly m'dear I couldn't give a damn. Err, well I do, really, after the extraordinary effort of the last week should I make the new podume I shall have a 'big think' about why I'm doing this. Stupid game... rigged... the ref's are biased... and so on - I WANT A FLASH CAR. ........ Sulks.
Tina
Thank you! I will try this - although being a bloke I tend to rely on measurements for my cooking. I probably start with a white sauce recipe - and I'll have to get some celery salt.
celebdaq
I'm just 200 000 short myself of the magic 2 million mark - pleasepleaseplease let there be a run on Paul and Heather McCartney! I won't get a flashy car (already got one!) but I hate just being short by such a small amount. If I can get 2 wads of cash, I only need 1 more for a flashy yacht! I can go sailing in the Mediterranean then.. :)
Idioms
Need everyone's help. My sister, in America, wants to know what it means to have to paint the "fourth bridge." Can someone help?
I think it refers to the Forth Bridge, which, it is said, takes so long to paint that, once the painters have done a complete coat, it's time to begin repainting it again, so the job never ends.
eep!
Indeed. Unfortunately, to save money, they stopped painting it regularly, and huge rusty chunks started falling off it, particularly onto North Queensferry. (My dad lives near there and I've seen it myself). I try not to think of the massive bolts on the ground when crossing on the train..
thanks
Thanks for the answers.
celebdaq
Curses! Only 1 wad of cash, I must have just missed it..
wads
snorgle]your not alone with your wad. Come on board my luxury yacht just off Crete, and I'll break out another Bolly:)
Handbags of antelopes
Could spam create another game? With game moves being titles of spam in your mailbox?
Measurements for Cooking
I like to know how much of everything as well - but I still throw things into the oven at whatever temperature I think is best and cook until not quite black.
3oz ketchup
Bool] I'm jealous! My other half has that talent - the Jackson Pollock school of cookery. She can throws it all in and it becomes a feast.
Sponge
[BtD] I remember her cake - very tasty.
Cooking temperatures
(Boolbar) So may I say "well done"? The term used in the chemical industry is "pyrolyse". :-)
it's too hot, baby
In creative cookery, and when taken to extremes, ain't that 'Cajun style'?
Bad luck, snorgle. You have my condolences - it happened to me once. I was lucky with my selection and managed the new car. Ah well, back to the grindstone - now I have to pay its running costs.
cross posting - terribly sorry
DearI’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue listener, ThisThis is to bring you advance knowledge of a special Christmas show, entitled I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Christmas Carol, which will be recorded on Thursday 18th December at the Logan Hall, University of London, 20 Bedford Way, London WC1H 0AL.It is something of a change from the usual format, in that there will be no desks… Instead, the programme’s regulars will be telling the story of miserable Ebenezer Scrumph and his put-upon assistant Crotchet, with appearances from the ghosts of Christmases Future, Present and Pissed. No prizes for guessing who plays what here. They will be supported by a cast of regular guests of the programme, including Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Tony Hawks, Andy Hamilton and Linda Smith with Stephen Fry as the narrator. Tickets are £7.50 each, and will go on sale from 9a.m. tomorrow (Tuesday 4th November). They are being sold by a ticketing company called Warnes, and can be purchased over by phone with a credit card by calling 020 8545 2737 between 9a.m. – 5p.m. Monday to Friday. Please note that the sum debited will appear on your statement as Warnes Mail Marketing Ltd, and that they don’t take American Express. Alternatively you can apply for tickets by emailing LindaR@warnes.co.uk Reservations by e-mail should contain your name, your card details, your address, the quantity of tickets required and a telephone number in case of a problem with the card. If you prefer, you can send the first part of the credit card number in one e-mail, followed by the second part and expiry date in a second. N.B. When using a 'Switch' Card, you must quote the "Commencement Date, Expiry Date and Issue Number" if there is an issue number. That is all :o)
ISIHACC
Bugger - that's the works' Christmas Party night.
[Bigsmith] Work Schmirk!
[penelope] Party Hearty!!
Pen/Bigs] Babysitter Scmabyitter.
Foo!
[pen] Ocean schmocean. :(
New puppy scmuppy
[pen] Praise be to those who share news! Not that I can go.
Engaged Schmengaged
not me .... the telephone line
Babysitters mademebitter
Argh! *Sobs quietly*
wierd babysitters
I had a mad babysitter who made green popcorn and owned several hundred sets of salt&pepper shakers. She also kept every single newspaper (free or not) that she ever got. You could only go through her house via a single path through the vast piles of newspaper. She sent us her brother's autopsy report several years after we moved. I have NO IDEA why - but it had quite a vivid description of his lungs, as he died partly from pneumonia.
harmless nutters
[snorgle] Was that in Canada - or is she still at large in the UK?
harmless hillbillies
You are fortunate - she lived in Ottawa. She may be dead by now, too. She came from a line of Quebecois hillbillies and both her brother and sister who lived with her were... strange - they were mute, but made wierd noises which terrified us kids. Pity really, because they weren't mean, just trying to be friends..
crazy lady
the newspapers thing reminds me of a film i saw once - set in Finland or Norway or Canada or somewhere, with a lady who stacked newspapers all over her house just how you describe. There was a child involved I think who got taken away. A very nice film.
stacking
[snorgle] That morbid collecting of newspapers is a great deal more common than you might think... there was a series on a few years ago (before I left the UK, although I never watched it) called something like "Sanitation Inspectors" where their whole job was to go into the houses of people who had become obsessed with this kind of collecting and clear out the junk.

I have a colleague whose neighbours did this too. The developer who now owns their property has been trying to clear out the house for six months now. Quite sad, really.

Obsessive collecting
Yes - there was a case about 200 yards from where I live. The occupant (male I think) was found dead amongst his collections. There was a room in the house with only two feet of space left at the top.

My Dad is a little like this too - he can't bear to part with things, especially if he feels that there is a possibility it can be repaired or reused. I think he has three partially operative video recorders. Come to think of it, my Mum was a little like that too (never threw a jam-jam or biscuit-tin out) - mind you, she reused them all. I wonder if it comes from a wartime childhood?
Or an anti-consumption ethic - which for better or worse I share.
[Btd] What does tuberculosis have to do with it?

Still, as a member of a collecting family, I can hardly point the finger too aggressively. My wall of Trek tapes would only point back.

anti-discardation
I throw everything away, unless I remember what it is, it brings back a recollection of something, or I think I might use it someday in a book.
[Tina] Well, that last one has been my excuse to keep probably about half of my possessions. Fifteen years later, and I haven't written a blessed word about any of it.
writing
[dunx] But it's so nice to THINk about writing.
Junk
Given the response to clutter I am ever so glad that none of you have seen my workshop! As far as writing goes, I think that none of my 'stuff' would assist me in that venture - although I did think a few months ago that I might attempt some sort of novel. I did - it's still on page three! Perhaps some sort of regime may help (both subjects); maybe save one hour per day for each? This would mean the workshop should be cleared and tidied by 2020 and a manuscript organised by, say, 2005. Hmmm. ;-)
Chucking things out
I've just about cured myself of (a) keeping any bit of paper with spare space on it, and (b) thinking of butter as a luxury. Result of an immediate post-war childhood when these items were a bit short, to say the least.
Angus Prune
What ho! Just fancied sharing a thought that Haz got from an insightful friend:
How do "Keep Off The Grass" signs get there?

other pearls of wisdom included:

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work any more?

If WilE Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

Why do Fat Chance and Slim Chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first oyster and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't *this* look yummy!"

...of no particular consequence but you have to share the laughter...
Err
[ZK] Chuckles.

Why are not Bactrian camels more prolific than Dromedaries given that the former has more humps than the latter?

Grumpy wake-up Bird anti consumer
Oh bugg*r did I say anti-consumption? At some point I'll get enough sleep. ZK - :o)
Collecting
Ridiculous collecting of piles of junk is a common symptom of OCD. I have OCD and overpowering urges to do that kind of thing, but fortunately I have it more under control these days - although my collection of old Tube tickets amazes all who are fortunate enough to gaze upon it. I think the secret is a sort of displacement - if I focus on collecting a single kind of crap, I can throw away things like receipts or old cinema tickets with relative ease.
crap'n'junk
I've taught myself how to do it over the years - part of the solution is to recognise when you're in a mood to throw out emotional baggage, and the stored crap associated with it. Anything I haven't used in the past two years is unlikely to be used again, so it goes either for recycling or to charity. There are exceptions, of course - my reindeer skin, pocket TV, tennis shoes and velvet coat. I *hate* small bits of paper and get rid of them ASAP.
tibet
I was once sorely tempted to put everything I owned in a large pile and cover it in paraffin and set fire to it, and then sod off to Tibet and join a monastery. Still, in my more lucid moments, this strikes me as an eternally good idea.
Throw it away!
I've moved accomdation quite a few times in the past year this made me quickly realise that junk should be thrown away. I now can fit all my possessions in the back of my car. But as I'm looking into buying a house in the near future no doubt that my stuff will expand to fill as much space as I buy!
Junk
[Lib] You'd be amazed. I've owned a house for two years and have gone from being a man with a bed and a stereo to being a man with a bigger stereo, widescreen TV, surround sound, kitchen tables, bookcases, tools, and no less than 3 sofas. My stuff has expanded to fill my house and I could probably fill my neighbour's house with what's in the loft. How it happened I do not know. My advice to you is that, once you have a home of your own and space in which to store things, that things suddenly gravitate towards you. Learn to sidestep them....
Ikea is the root of all evil.
Avoid storage. If you buy things like cupboards, boxes, drawers, shelves to store all that junk then you just give yourself more space to fill with more junk which requires more storage and so on until you reach the point where to have more storage, you need a bigger house. You move to a bigger house which involves packing, so you throw away about 50% of your junk and end up in a house with loads of space. Ideal for filling with junk.
male junket
Virtually everything I own is 2nd hand and at the end of its usefulness just goes back to the charity shop. All, that is except my own compulsive obsessive collection of CDs. They stay.

I have heard that men suffer far more from OCD than women (examples include trainspotters, twichers and - ahem - sexual fanatics) and that this is linked to autism - thus linking maleness with communication problems. Anyone else heard of this?
OCD
[Bob] I think men do indeed suffer more from OCD then women, but I'm not necessarly sure that I'd call trainspotters obsessive. Like all things in life its not black and white. I think one of the main criteria for a diagnosis of OCD to be made is the fact that it inteferes with normal life and the intense feelings that come from not doing the compulsion. Linking maleness with communication problems is quite a vast step, can I turn the tables and suggest that women communicate too much?
second hand clucks
[Bob] I fear for your chickens when they reach the end of their egg productivity ;-).
OCD - I always thought it affected males and females equally and this might support that [unless they do things differently over there].
[Lib] Have just spotted your post as I was simul-ing - I agree - the link between the two is a HUGE step.
did u know ur a googlewhack? its penchant gazump
whacked
[paul] Who ... me? :-)
Men! Sweeping statement MkII
chalky] Nah - chickens are safe. Anyway, they are a variety that remain productive until they are 7 years old!
Lib] sorry - yes, trainspotting is not really OCD but I felt it may be linked to the kind of one-dimensional thought processes that males sometimes exhibit. I know loads of blokes who obsess about everything from computers to sport - girls seem to share this 'single mindedness' only when it concerns self preservation and children. Am I being extremely unfair to my own gender? Regarding communication - I find it incredibly difficult to talk to other men unless I share a passion with them, or are they are effeminate. In social situations, I enjoy hearing women and effeminate men talk because you are so much better at discussing emotional subjects.
OCD
I do actually suffer from an OCD which I now have more or less under some form of control, the details of which I will not go into, but I can say from very very painful experience that trainspotting has nothing in common, nothing whatsoever, not even close, not so much a different ballpark but a different sport played by the wrong rules by people trained in scuba diving wearing spacesuits. Believe me, a true OCD is life-destroying, it's all consuming to the point where you cannot function at all, you forget to eat, you forget to sleep, you care only about your OCD. Obsessive behaviour is very common in males, especially I think with the type of males who frequent this type of website (myself included), but it's not a disorder.
muscling in on Bob/Lib dialogue
It is interesting that the terms 'nerd' and 'geek' are usually applied to the male gender and that may be because - sweeping generalisation alert - they appear to be more pastime/hobby/enthusiast/fancier orientated. Perhaps they have more time on their hands?
BTW Bob - how would you define an 'effeminate' man? Are you referring to those of a homosexual persuasion or those who are in touch with their feminine side?
boys who like girls
Bob] Methinks that living in a house with three females doesn't help you in this. I must admit I like talking to girls as well ;o)
Girls v boys
On the subject of hobbies - I wonder if this is a cultural thing. It might be that young boys are more often encouraged to persue their hobbies and interests. I can's offer any observations about young girls cos neither I nor my brother was one. And I suspect that by the time we stopped being scared of them, and actually started liking them, this was unlikely to be the kind of question we were interested in. So what do parents get their daughters doing?
brothers & daughters
[rab] good question and one which I'm sort of qualified to put my two pennorth in, being the only girl with three brothers as well as mother of girls. Boys [in general] are happy to pursue a hobby on their own. Girls [in general] are more responsive to peer group pressure and prefer to do the hobby stuff with their friends. My 13-year old is far more enthusiastic about the drama club that all her cool friends attend, than the piano lessons where she has to go it alone, even though she is far more talented piano-wise than drama-wise.
playing
As a child I spent a lot of time playing with my brother. As he was older this generally consisted on him chasing me, him jumping on me, him spraying me with a hose then locking me out of the house. And other activities like rugby, scalelectrix, hockey and taunting. But I did possess dolls and played with them with my female friends when I wasn't being terrorised by my big bro! My mum was particularly keen for me to persue my hobbies chosen by her, eg piano and violin practice which went down about as well as the insults from my brother!
meant to say
[FG] Well done for getting it under control, and long may it continue. I've heard that its worse than a herion addiction, so it can't have been easy.
OCD and Friends
Re: throwing things away (or not, as the case may be) - I don't suffer from OCD, but I do exhibit a fair number of ADD behaviours1. ADD is apparently quite often misdiagnosed as OCD, depending on the particular collection of behaviours exhibited. The behaviour which leads to collecting massive amounts of stuff is a decision making shortfall.

[1] ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is a bad name, but it is also the name assigned to whatever ADD is. Personally, I don't think it's a disorder of the individual so much as a mismatch between how society trains people to behave and how some people's brains work, but there we are. The effect is much the same.

who like girls who like boys
Rab] I'm a dad with girls. I've not tried to push dresses or football on them, but they are naturally girly. Friends with boys agree, gender stereotypes are produced by the child choosing the behaviour patterns that they feel most comfortable with.
Chalky] (Beware - beware more sweeping generalisations) I mean those with the (generally) female characteristic of being able to communicate. This includes homosexual men. Some of the people I get on with best are gay because I like the way they can empathise. One of my best friends is only so because he made a pass at me. I, however, am hetero.
st d] Yeah - seven females vv me... sometimes I crave for a blokey night out at the local where we can eat raw (freshly hunted) buffalo steak and drink gallons of beer after a night wolf-whistling, playing rugby and mud wrestling.
mud wrestling ?!?
Well Mr Bob the Dog, I can help you out in the drinking beer stakes, but I think I will leave the mud-wrestling to the others.
Dogwrestling
Oh I wasn't clear - mud wrestling (with) girls :o)
Disorders and the single Qu+xum
OCD-no.
ADD-most likely; never been diagnosed as such but I suspect it's the case.
Me & women-I can talk to women on a strictly professional basis. However, if it gets even mildly personal (and I'm not sufficiently pissed), I basically turn into a paralyzed crab. Of course, talking Linux and cricket (sometimes simultaneously) doesn't draw the hotties here in Pittsburgh. :|
Diagnosis
[Dr Q] I was only diagnosed because the coping strategies I had developed made me depressed. I self-treated and resolved to stop using those coping strategies, but then I wasn't coping and I became depressed.
OCD&ADD
I wanted to write a little about how much I respected FG and Dunx for coping with OCD and ADD and having the courage to express it here. However, I'm a bloke, so I could never do a thing like that because it may reveal my blousey emotional side ;o)
seconding that emotion
[Bob] Hear hear. Also to Dr Q for disclosing paralysed crab tendencies when faced with laydeez who don't necessarily wish to talk business. Now that surprised me a little, although it shouldn't really - we often assume we 'know' someone based on our familiarity with their online persona.
It's a lot easier to sound sophisticated and erudite when you have the time to pick your words carefully. For example, if this were a face-to-face conversation, I probably wouldn't have said 'erudite' just now.
OCD?
Have ADD, only officially 'labelled' in 2000. However, like many 'sufferers', I have a high IQ, and had learnt to disguise it over the years, along with my lysdexia
lysdexia
deslyxia
axeldysi
dislexya
ah! Daily Sex! I think I'll keep that one...
Being honest
My proclivity for the amassment of huge piles of 'stuff' has absolutely nothing to do with ADD/OCD or any other disorder - apart from disorder itself; it is pure and unadulterated laziness. I do not collect objects in the sense of an aim in itself. I have, over many decades, learned to live with this affliction and simply accept it as 'me'. I do sympathise with those who have such leanings - that's the compulsive side of a personality - as I have had something similar for many, many years now but which is not at all related to the collection/arrangement side of things ... no, I'm not going into it here.

[Riff] You are correct, to a point, but is it just that you are afeared that the other parties to a conversation may be ignorant of the meaning of certain words and, therefore, you 'lower' your language to the level that you surmise is acceptable?

Psychological Disorders
I did a test online today for those. Luckily, I appeared to score low on pretty much every disorder, although I tested as "moderate" for Schizotypal, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Paranoid and "High" for Histrionic and Avoidant. Happily, I know what none of these things mean, with the exception of obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd) which anyone who knows me knows is rubbish (coathangers, anyone?) I'll go with Dujon. I'm just lazy.
Trainspotting
Locospotting if you don't mind. As a 12-yr-old I was a locospotter, but it was all steam in those days, and also regarded as quite normal. We all indulged in serious trespass in pursuit of engine numbers. But these days if I see a 30-yr old in an anorak, yes!, at the end of a platform noting the numbers then there's something seriously wrong. It's not OCD; just sad. How can anyone be interested in a sodding diesel? No charisma. And they don't talk.
Can talk business (any time) or small-talk (after a pint) with anyone, male or female, though am often told my small-talking style is much more like a woman's than a man's (well I did learn it from my mother, pretty much a single divorced parent.) Can talk "football/rugby/insert sport of choice here" with anyone in the bar, drunk or sober, owing to fine memory for statistics. Can only talk "personal" with girls, never guys, and only on an abstract basis, otherwise go into paralyzed-crab mode. Actually prefer talking to women rather than men. Frequently have gay men making passes at me - never women (and have an equally annoying tendency to try to chat up women who then turn out to be lesbians. I didn't know there *was* such a thing as reverse gaydar...) Am totally straight and thus pissed off at the above situation.
Not sure about AD(H)D or OCD, but I suspect a reasonable case could be made, especially for the former. And in the latter case, I'm a minor obsessive who hates people that get more obsessive than me (about anything) but defends his right to be *this* obsessive ;-)
disclaimer
there is, of course, scientific proof for each, and severe cases can be quite crippling. On a lighter note, has anyone taken this test? http://www.penddraig.co.uk/pen/tests/sanity.htm
Oh laaaaaaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeeeeee!
[Chalky] Pro'lly because we've never met in person. Of course, if it's a large enough crowd, I can just go about being the sarcastic, heavily vulgar, semi-humourous arsehole I usually am.
Then again, most members of the American female persuasion find me decidedly unattractive anyway, so I don't have to put up with it that often.

And as for rubbish...I'm a packrat. Nothing will be thrown out. EVER.

[ZK] 30.1%. Am I nuts?
Nost what?
Ah, Rosie, you tickled a few synapses there! Trespass indeed! True though; if you did it now, there'd be a couple of policemen crawling down an embankment to ask you funny questions. Even after I came to Australia I still kept an interest in steam engines (although my older brother was a real afficianado; he had records - that's 12" LPs - of various engines, trains, locations which were marvellous.) In those days (and we did) we used to travel on the local electric trains out to Penrith where some of the engines were turned around on a turntable to enable the return journey back through the mountains. Marvellous stuff. The 'lads' there even welcomed us and showed us around, let us watch the operations and explained any questions we may have had. To those of you younger than I, please accept my apologies for a bit of reminiscing.
Crazy
[ZK] Rubbish. According to that site I'm only 17.45454543% disadvantaged. That is demonstrably incorrect, otherwise I wouldn't be here and, certainly, would not take such a revealing quiz. Ptooe. ... ;-)
wibble
I am insaner than thou! ;)
Them engines
[Duj] I'm significantly younger than ye :), but I fully understand the fascination with the old engines. (Remind me to send you the pic of my great-grandfather and his engine.) You can often find videotapes and DVDs here of rail journeys. Next time I head up to Horseshoe Curve or other such rail history in Western PA I'll see if I can find any.
steam trains
has anyone been to sheringham? funky steam trains there, although a bit limited. was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine when younger but by the time I came along, they didn't make 'em like that any more! Nevertheless, I will always hold an affinity for Ringo Starr and his funnelled companions.
[Dujon] A good point, and that's probably at least a little of it (particularly if I have a low opinion of the intelligence of the person I'm talking to). But I tend to be shy around people I don't know, and the pressure to maintain a conversation in that situation makes me default to easier words simply because it's hard enough to string a sentence together as it is. In a more relaxed situation with friends, the more complicated words come more easily, and if someone doesn't know a word, I shrug and define it for them. Another aspect of it, probably, is that with people I don't know, the topic of conversation is rarely complicated enough to require any specialized vocabulary.

[re: junk] My excuse for accumulating huge piles of junk is that I might want to glue some of it together into sculpture. Of course, this rarely happens, but the fact that it does happen once in a while makes it that much harder to throw any of it away. From where I'm sitting, I can count nine empty cigarette boxes (one of them an interesting little slide-drawer thing), an attractive Harrods cookie tin, and a large lump of rusty metal that I haven't any idea what it is.

30.113636363636363%
Mwhahahahahahhaha!
sleep deprivation
Don'tcha just LOVE these cosy late night chats?
Or
Half pickled Thursday afternoons; don't you people understand that I'm supposed to be working/
Earlier
{Riff} Indeed. I remember with fondness the silly word games and references in which my family indulged over the evening meal. When I finally went to a job I found that all of my witty(?) remarks simply floated above. I was, to be honest, devastated. Nevertheless, I have finally found a 'home' in the various M.C. style web sites. Whilst my 'witty' remarks are not alway appreciated and, having met many who are far more clever than myself, I find that I rather like this community.

Sorry for the pathetic overtones, but it's true.

18.181818181% nuts. Mostly marshmallow, with an occasional choc-chip.
I'm not that good at small talk, I find it tiring and often don't know what to talk about, and so just lapse into silence, listen, watch, etc. If it's something I'm interested in, I can talk about/around it, or if I have nothing to say, can listen to someone burble on, and ask a question or two, or add something here or there (often surprising people, in the process, it seems). I'm learning to ask questions. I'm always much more comfortable with one or two other people, or in small groups rather than large ones, and definitely preferably people I know. I don't know about any men/women difference. But I am willing to let conversations pause.

Some people find this disconcerting, or think I'm boring, or (more likely) stupid. *shrugs*. It's lonely sometimes, but places like this are very good, and I think I've learned a great deal. Thanks.

[flerdle] I'm exactly the same, and I quite agree.
obsessive
The "other one" out of the disorders that manifest themselves in compulsive menky collecting types of behaviour is Asperger Syndrome, believed in recent years to be a sort of autism-lite. It basically is intended to be an umbrella label for those with somewhat impaired social skills, a preoccupation with abstract hobbies on which they "perseverate" (e.g. focus on to the exclusion of all else for long periods of time, including when talking to someone else) and who find it difficult to empathise or instinctively understand other people's motivations. For a time I believed I was aspergic until I actually went out and met some people who really were and had the chance to compare. This was a painful exercise which involved listening politely to the full details of the history of South West trains. After years of neglect it has become an extremely fashionable diagnosis recently for children, and, it seems to me, is overapplied.
Smallness
[Smalltalk] I'm exceptionally bad at smalltalk, and also don't respond well to it. I'm not one of these people who generally can talk to, say, a hairdresser, probably because I feel like I have no common reference points. That said, where I fall down is not being very good at the verbal parrying that establishes what the common reference points are. This is made worse by being a hopeless bloke, having no interested in cars, football and, to a certain extent, tits. So even the usual gambits just fail on me miserably. This probably marks me out as being 'boring', and would probably be confirmed if my interlocutors were to discover those subjects I do have an opinion about. New people can be problematic, too. I don't know if flerdle or penelope remember what I was like when I turned up at my first pilg...

[Aspergers] I have a friend who is like this, and his mum suggested he might have Aspergers. However a friendly medic who had met him immediately said "No, he's not got Aspergers"... I think there is a fashion to give everything a fancy label nowadays, and like Projoy, believe this is not a good thing. I would have thought it were obvious that different people approach things differently, and there's degrees of conformance to the "standard" way of doing things (known popularly as "normality").

In fact, drawing these two stands together, I find most "normal" people rather dull. Is this just me being an arrogant arse-wit?

Phantom
[Aside] Am currently "working" at home, and the phone rang whilst composing the above. The caller hung up immediately. I hate that - why can't they just admit to having dialled a wrong number? I don't think it was a potential burglar...
itsybitsy
[rab] I think you reminded me of me :-)
... and I was overcompensating out of sheer terror :-)
Oh...
[flerdle] I didn't mean to scare you! Luckily I think the beer and Tim-Tams sorted everything out.
eek! *hides behind the sofa*
[rab] My last posting was just to explain why (perhaps??) I seemed rather boisterous at times, (I wasn't saying that you were or weren't) which is another way of "coping", but not my usual one, I think because of the complete novelty of it all, especially the Tim-Tams. And I was stone cold sober, so that wasn't any excuse either. You certainly didn't scare me, and am looking forward to hopefully visiting again next summer.

Which, in a way, brings us back to collecting junk: I have a small amount of "stuff", but mostly I have books (I've been very restrained, honest!!). I used to have a tendency to collect empty or hardly-used notebooks (mmmm stationery), but recently disposed of almost all of them. A lot of things will be farmed out to friends/relatives, and some stored, but I'm quite looking forward to starting again in January with little more than a suitcaseful. Should be interesting.

A disordered mind
Wow, what a stream of revelations we have here. Bob is right to say that OCD is something quite different from "obsessiveness", and I get very angry when people talk about being "a bit obsessive-compulsive" and so on, when Goddammit! They haven't the faintest idea what it means. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my whole brain off and put it away in storage for a long, long, time. Someone asked earlier if OCD is related to autistic disorders, and there is evidence that it is. There is a greater overlap of occurrences of OCD and Asperger's than you would statistically expect, and indeed I have had my own brain photographed, rather excitingly, in an experiment to test this. Asperger's is the syndrome suffered by the narrator in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and one of the reasons I was so moved by that book was that, God help me, I identified with practically every aspect of him, except for being unable to read expressions, which is a defining characteristic of Aspergers. Many of the things that character does, such as counting, refusing to touch certain things, etc. are traits associated with OCD. Personally I think OCD, autism, and Asperger's are all somehow related, but people like me are very much on the "high-functioning" end of that spectrum, which means we can pass ourselves off as normal human beings. Well, most of the time.
By the way, it's true that some of these disorders are "over-diagnosed", but they are "under-diagnosed" as well. One in twenty adults in the UK has ADD, but the vast majority are never diagnosed.
PJ
rab] are you saying that you don't believe Projoy is a good thing ?
I can talk to anyone, but I hate listenintg. Ha ha.
Apologies, by the way, in case any of this is inappropriately confessional or too dull for anyone else! I've been thinking about it a lot recently (I do anyway, naturally) because someone at work actually guessed that I have OCD from watching my peculiar rituals, which rather shook me because, although I do peculiar rituals literally all the time, I normally hide them pretty well and people don't realise. Perhaps I'm getting worse.
Labelling
I'm not sure whether things are over or under diagnoised. Does having a label help matters? I know that I've got many traits which are typical of many diseases (my thinking pattern is very common in people with schizophreina, I have depressive phases, I'm mildly dyslexic) and I'm sure if I was analysed fully I'd have all sorts of nasty disorders. But thankfully they don't affect my life much, and I consider myself to be fairly sane. So does diagnosing mild ADD, mild OCD or mild Aspbergers help? There's no definate treatment (although congitive therapy can help, but cognitive therapy can help a lot of people) so why the need to label it?
OCD
What Dunx describes above is almost exactly what happened to me but in reverse I think. The OCD arose because I was depressed and would obsess on tiny things, believing absolutely that those things were the cause of my depression and if only I could sort them out I'd be happy. When, of course, I didn't sort them out I became more depressed, and so on and so on.
I can quite strongly reccomend hypnotherapy for the treatment of OCD. I wouldn't call it a cure but it sure helped me.
As far as diagnosis goes I don't think with these things that it's that clear cut. It's simply what you might call a personality trait, and we all exhibit different personality traits in differring amounts. Some people are talkative, some are fly-by-night, some are obsessive. I think we assign the term 'disorder' when one of these traits goes to an extreme such that it interferes with the normal day-to-day running of our lives. If we had a sound scientific way of actually measuring the extent to which each trait applied to us, the the term 'disorder' would be redundant.
Labelling
[Lib] I think the label does help. One of the things that helped me (and is still helping me) pull up out of the spiral of OCD was the fact that I could give it a name. I know now that I have an obsession, and that makes it less real so that I can actually control and sometimes ignore it. When you're in the depths of OCD you fully do not realise that you are obsessing, you just think that there is nothing else to life.
[st d] I can listen to anyone, but I hate talking.
[Lib] Naming a thing (and to some extent inventing the thing by the process of naming it) can cut both ways. The Asp/Aut/AD(H)D concept is now out there to a degree to which it wasn't, not many years ago. This lets people use it as a convenient club to beat people they can't deal with, but also lets others recognise themselves in it and make contact with each other. I've read alt.support.autism on and off, and there's a lot of very interesting, politically conscious stuff goes by. In fact, a lot of the politics is exactly the same as for being gay, black, deaf, or female. For pretty much any position that has ever been taken on any of these issues, change the specifics and it would be something that someone has said about any of the others.
[BM] Anyone who enjoyed "Curious Incident" might also be interested in Elizabeth Moon's Speed of Dark, an SF novel in which the central character is autistic. The characterisation is quite similar.
Labels
Having a label helped me a lot for similar reasons to FG - I could capture my demon. Looking back at my life and the way that things have gone, I can also recognise ADD behaviours there (indeed, recognising ADD behaviours in my school reports was a key element of the diagnosis). This gives me power to forgive myself: ADD is not an excuse for my poor performances in the past, but I've spent too much of my life thinking of myself as lazy and weak. I feel that I understand better why my education was so skewed towards things I liked, or why I flit from subject to subject, or why I will focus on interesting things to the exclusion of all else, or why I have such an appalling sense of the passage of time. Recognising these things (rather than blaming myself for them) has helped a lot.
Labels
they tried to label me as Bi-polar (it's all coming out isn't it ?) but I just smiled knowingly and carried on reading the numberplates.
'Best Before' labels
I'm normal on the surface. Whatever demons I carry with me are my business, but I'm approaching 40, single, childless and seem to be attracted by, and attractive to, men 15 years my junior. Make your own conclusions, then keep them to yourself! ;o)
.....
***quietly goes and hides behind a chair***
*whistles innocently*
Labels
[Lib] Ah, but they're not just labels. They're objective realities. Saying that someone has ADD, for example, isn't just saying that they have a bunch of particular personality traits - it means that they have a particular genetically transmitted condition which causes those traits. As Fat German says, if you don't have the traits very badly, you probably don't have the condition with which those traits are sometimes associated. But if you know that someone does have that condition then you can treat it, if treatment is appropriate. Describing this kind of diagnosis as "applying labels" is as silly as talking of disgnosing a broken leg or lung cancer or any other illness or condition as "applying labels". Certainly I have found it enormously helpful to be properly diagnosed because it means I can recognise OCD things for what they are and deal with them accordingly. And this is true of many other people I have spoken to, with OCD and with ADD as well.
Labels
[BM] There is a crucial difference, though, between a broken leg and these mental conditions or constitutions. In the case of a broken leg, you can demonstrate the objective existence of a physical pathology, and there are treatments known to be effective in pretty much every individual case. For ADD and the like, no-one has demonstrated either an objective pathology, or an objectively effective treatment based on an understanding of the pathology. All we have is descriptions of symptoms that cluster together (although no individual need show all of them), vague genetic correlations, and supposed treatments of very variable effect. There may indeed be a definite thing wrong with the brains of OCD sufferers, and there may be possible treatments as effective as setting a broken bone and applying a cast, but currently, very little is actually known.
(simulposted by a much more succinct post from Raak, but...)
[BM] Well... yes and no. I'll take ADD as my example, since that is obviously what I know best.

It is clear that ADD behaviours can be severe enough to cause problems, and that there are a lot of people who carry these behaviours around with them, but it is not certain that ADD is an objectively definable disease. For instance, ADD has been described and recognised by the US psychiatric establishment for more than 30 years (although its name has been changed a few even times over that time), but the UK establishment only officially recognised ADD in the 1990s - this despite the first published work on ADD being in the UK a hundred years before. Even in the US, ADD has only recently (ie in the last ten years or so) been widely recognised as occurring in adults - it was considered a childhood affliction which was obliterated by adolescence.

Part of the problem is that labelled conditions such as ADD, OCD, etc are note discrete: a bone is broken or it is not broken, but ADD has more degrees than there are labels, and even then it is not clear that even someone whose collection of symptoms is technically pathological enough to be so labelled is actually displaying anything more than just a strong personality trait. There has been work to scan brains under ADD-expressing conditions, and there are apparently common factors to those scans, but ADD is at best a collection of possibly related symptoms. But then is personality just an expression of brain chemistry?

As I say, my belief is that those who are actually disadvantaged by their ADD behaviours are those who have been trying to use their brains in ways which don't mesh with their brain chemistry or personality, where "one size fits all" education systems teach the same learning mechanisms to everyone regardless of how they really learn best. This is one of the reasons that I talk about my having ADD behaviours; Idon't consider myself to be diseased1.

[1] this is going in a footnote because it's not part of the core point, but one of the things which concerns me about statements that ADD is underdiagnosed is that it is then treated as a disease. At this point the children (and this is where I become most concerned - it is almost always children) are dosed up with psychostimulants in order to make them fit in rather than training them to use their brains to their best advantage: the problem is not solved, it is avoided.

Dunx's last paragraph and footnote
Absol-bloodly-lutely. Extremely well put. It extends beyond education and learning mechanisms too, in my view.
clusters
[Dunx and Raak] Hear hear. Nicely expressed.
iz it becos I iz...?
As Raak says, a leg is generally broken or not broken, and the difference is pretty clear and agreed upon, but you get members of any minority group into a room (ADD sufferers, autists, gays, black people) into a room and ask them to define "ADD", "autism" or, heaven help you, "gayness" or "blackness" and you will soon have a heated debate on your hands.
...just witness the endless controversies in the last few decades over the definition and meaning of "disabled".
I like meds
I agree with Dunx that the problem is really one of society not being able to handle people who are different. It's terrible that children, in particular, who have a different way of learning, get straitjacketed into the traditional methods and classed as having a problem if they don't fit in. It's especially ridiculous given how much society actually prizes ADD traits in many ways - such as creativity and spontaneity - which is how people like Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, and Ozzy Osbourne got to where they are today. Bill Clinton, of course, is the classic ADD kid made good. But at the same time, I do think that there is good evidence that ADD, in particular, is a discrete and specific disorder, with specific physiological causes, rather than a handy name for a bunch of sometimes associated phenomena. Raak is wrong to say that the genetic correlations of ADD are vague: they are not vague at all, and there is very good evidence for a strictly physiological basis, although of course how that basis manifests itself will vary according to conditions. Certainly ADD behaviours do vary from person to person in type and degree, which is one of the things that make it hard to diagnose, but it doesn't follow that the underlying cause varies - at least where ADD is the correct diagnosis. We have a rather skewed view of it in the UK because, as he says, it hasn't been officially recognised here for very long, compared to the US; in fact, some of the newer treatments for it, such as Concerta (essentially slow-release Ritalin) are unheard of to many supposed experts in this country. Plus, of course, the media like to fixate on issues of medication and horror stories about it. By the same token, it would be better if society could change to accommodate those of us who are different, but given that it can't, medication is a whole lot better than nothing. I have known people whose lives have been utterly ruined by ADD as well as by OCD. If they had been diagnosed earlier and given the help they needed - medication as well as proper counselling and behavioural therapy - who knows how things might have been different.
Whoops
Something happened to my paragraph marks. I do apologise - as if my tedious exhalations aren't bad enough as it is...
physiology
[BM] So what are the discrete physiological causes of ADD popularly supposed to be, then?
Re: physiology
[Projoy] Primarily temporal lobe dysfunction, at least according to Dr Daniel Amens who was one of the first to use brain scans to try and figure out what is different in an ADD brain. I've read his book Amens' "Healing ADD" where he describes the different areas of brain activation in the six varieties of ADD which he identifies. All of them share some degree of temporal lobe dysfunction.

The temporal lobe controls your ability to concentrate, and is more active when a brain is concentrating on something. A typical pattern in an ADD brain is that when it is used to concentrate deliberately on something then the temporal lobe is actually deactivated (ie there is less neural activity). I say "deliberately" because a common ADD behaviour is 'hyperfocus' where the brain will concentrate on something novel1 to the exclusion of all else, but this is rarely deliberate.

Note that there is another book called "Healing ADD" by Thom Hartmann, that I would also recommend, but which is entirely different. In particular, Mr Hartmann specifically attacks Amens' work in scanning brains. But there we are.

[1] another very annoying aspect of this is that I cannot go to sleep if there is speech in earshot. I'll be drifting off quite satisfactorily when my brain will latch on to the interesting noises and amplify them in my perception. Similarly, I need silence or at least white noise if I need to think about a task which I am not entirely involved in, because otherwise my mind will concentrate on the novel rather than what I'm supposed to be doing.

Right, but that still leaves Raak's point unchallenged, doesn't it? There's nothing to suggest that there's a single cause for that particular pattern of brain activity.
Quite right.

For instance, even the mechanisms by which ADD brain patterns arise in the individual are not certain. There is a high correlation between ADD in parents and in their offspring (a figure of 70% is often quoted) which might suggest a genetic link, but it could equally be due to upbringing: the brain is plastic enough that learning will change its structure (no specific references, I'm afraid - I read this recently but can't remember where), and if much of a child's early development is achieved through mimicry then it's quite possible to imagine that parental ADD behaviours might imprint on the child.

It may well be that the role of genetics in mental development is overstated. There is some work (this book, for instance) which puts forward the argument that:

  1. there is a common perception that genetic factors are the largest causative agent in mental illness
  2. there is almost no evidence of a correlation between mental illness in children and in their parents (the book linked to states that the strongest correlation is in schizophrenia where there is a 50% correlation; nothing about ADD though)
  3. if hypothesis (1) is wrong, then it must be environmental
  4. the most pervasive environmental influence on children is their parenting
  5. therefore the way you are raised is why your head works the way it does.
So, ADD may be at least as much a social phenomenon as a genetic one, although I also think that any learning which has this effect would have been at such a young age that there is no element of choice to it .
something else
I wonder if I could change the subject. Feel free to ignore me. A co-worker is driving me crazy. Her husband hit her and one of the kids and she got a court order that he stay away. Since then, she is trying to find ways to meet him or to justify meeting him. He is possibly suicidal and she thinks this means she should help him. I point out how these suicidal guys sometimes take the family with them (to death), but she still vacillates. She is obsessed and talks about it constantly: outside on breaks, at my workstation, on the phone, in e-mail. She also obsesses about how she wants sex with him and graphically tells me stuff. Oddly, she listens to my advice, which is quite blunt and includes telling her she is not rational now, but I have a law background, not a psychological one. What do I do to get her to get the help she needs? How do I keep her from putting herself in harm's way? How do I (a gazillion other things)?
Dorothy Dix.
Personally, apart from - as you mention - trying to convince her to get some professional assistance I'd stay well out, Tina. If she truly is irrational, heaven knows what affect any well meant advice may have on her. If you do attempt to convince her to get some help I think I'd leave the broken relationship out of any coaxing and simply concentrate on the fact that she is under stress at this time ... Then again, I'm no psychologist!
not ignoring Tina
[cross-posted with Duj] How very difficult for you. Are you in the UK? Can you point her towards the Samaritans or even Relate? In my experience [I've been a voluntary counsellor for some years] you are doing the right thing, in that you are listening. If you are happy to be just a sounding-board, for that is all you are, try not be too disappointed if she fails to heed your warnings. By confiding in you, I'm afraid it looks as though she is seeking justification and perhaps your approval for her future actions, ie. she is likely to meet up with him. I would say, your main problem is that her irrationality appears to have transmuted into outrageously selfish and controlling behaviour [towards you] and you have to guage how much more you can cope with. When she's next in 'listening' mode, you might gently point out that you have a life aswell. But unless she admits she needs professional help, there is little you can do, short of frog-marching her into a doctor's surgery. [Blimey! Do I sound like an agony aunt or what?]
Dujon and Chalky
Yes, this is what my sister says as well. I'm in the US and our employer has a counseling plan. My sister says, make excues when she comes to my cubicle. Yes, she is always seeking my approval. She will announce some awful plan, come to my desk, and ask what I think. I say I disapprove, and so far that works. But it's not right really. I'm not the professional. And she is selfish now. There is nothing in her life except her crisis. She lost maybe 20 pounds. She writes me at 3 a.m. and is not sleeping. Thanks for all your help. I just don't want to open the paper and find her dead.
Warts 'n All
I cannot put myself in your position and therefore cannot really understand, but it sounds like you are in a most awkward position - particularly if you feel obligated to your co-worker. Chalky is undoubtedly correct when she mentions listening but this, long term, could interfere with your own work. In view of the fact that your employer has a counseling service, why don't you have a talk with their staff? Depending on legal contingencies you may have to keep the name of your fellow worker out of any discussion, but at least you may receive 'proper' advice (and by that please do not think that I am denigrating Chalky's input.)
Dr dog
Tina] If you are concerned for her life then she definitely needs professional help. I think you have demonstrated the characteristics of a good listener - but you are not responsible for her situation. She has to be, so it may help to explain this to her in a kindly and assertive way. She may thank you for it.
advice
Thanks to you all for the good advice.
Echoes
I would echo what Dujon said in his last post - counsellors can be extremely useful even if you aren't the one who is in direct need of their services. It allows one to perspectivise the situation. Obviously the best case scenario is if somehow your colleague manages to sort her situation out; the worst case scenario is if this doesn't happen and you get dragged down with it. I found a counsellor was enormously helpful in staving off the latter when I was in a tricky situation.
Trying to attract INKSPOT's attention
To keep the competitive daughter away from MY Daq account - I suggested she sign up herself. She thinks she can knock spots of the rest of us. What a challenge. Any chance of slipping her into our mini-league? [x_sugarbabe_x - 3509835]
Only me...
Some people have to work you know, others sit around waiting for the server to get back up ... so in between this and that, I've added x_sugarbabe_x.
thanking Inkspot :-)
Celebuggered
Well, I'm going to have to waste about £600,000 in my NI-capping. Feh!
OCD
Coincedentally, the R4 programme "All In The Mind" had a segment on OCD on the 28th October edition.
... or rather, I should say, about hoarding. Slight misadvertising there. It's the first segment after the intro.
I've nothing much to add to the above (having just caught up with the foregoing) except to wish Tina luck with her situation and to thank those who've talked about such personal issues so openly in the ADD/OCD debate.
My own feelings are that I feel myself to be somewhat... eccentric, particularly socially. Some days I seem to fire on all cylinders and participate on all levels with "the group" (meaning colleagues & students) - cracking jokes and fitting into the ongoing banter as we work, but other days it's like I'm out of sync or speaking a different language.
I don't feel this or any other of my eccentricities are anything like extreme enough to warrant labelling as a disorder - and my feeling has been reinforced by some of the above - it's seldom if ever a real interference in my life. As Projoy suggested, when you hear stories from people who have suffered it humbles your own pretentions to such things!
I've often remarked flippantly that no-one worth knowing is "normal" or 100% sane - and I do believe it's the oddnesses about people that make them interesting day-to-day. Not so much that these traits are odd perhaps as that they're different, new and interesting. They characterise people, and make them unique.

I was also struck by Dunx's comments about difficulty falling asleep if there's audible conversation going on - I find falling asleep very difficult generally, and any sort of distraction is a killer: conversation (especially other people in the house talking, but also just tv) light - especially ambient light through the window, strong wind & rain (although they're kind of nice to listen to...) I've found music helps, although it needs to be the right sort of music - usually but not always without lyrics, often ambient. Dead Can Dance, Brian Eno's ambient classic Music For Airports and William Orbit's Strange Cargo III are all favourites to drop off to. They help shut out the rest.
Hmmm - this has turned into an insomnia post really...
[Celebdaq] I'm flabbergasted that Keanu Reeves is still dropping despite the last Matrix films opening... I was doing so well with Arnie before that too... ho hum.
[bl] "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well."
Celebdaq - Keanu Reeves dropping
Could it be because the last Matrix film is getting bad reviews, rather than good?
Sleepless in... well, everywhere
[blamelewis] I sympathise greatly. I have always suffered terribly from this. I have been known, on more than one occasion, to be kept awake by my own heartbeat. This is an example of how diagnosis helps, however: now that I know I have OCD, I recognise much of this as silly obsessiveness within my own head. I don't really need conditions to be perfect before I fall asleep, I just think I do, and it's the obsessing about it that actually keeps me awake. And that alone makes things much easier. However, I still cannot sleep through any kind of human-made noise. Those damn humans!
Scilence
Dunx/Blame/Bread] Sleep is something I adore. I could easily (and and often have) fallen asleep within earshot of conversation - que joke about boring conversations. But to try and fall asleep to music, even Brian Eno, would be impossible for me. I'd be far too wrapped up in thinking about the music to let it lull me. I prefer natural darkness and scilence - as experienced on Shetland - where there is vitually no man-made background light or sound.
zzzzzzzz
[Bob] I've noticed a big difference since moving out of Glasgow - there's no longer a streetlight glaring in my window, and only very occasionally do the sounds of drunken revelry intrude. {Bread] i feel sometimes it's the whirl of thoughts in my head keeping me awake - that and being insufficiently tired - I know part of the problem is my lack of regular exercise also. [JLE - Matrix] Bad press should count as much as good - look at Prince Charles this week!
Radio 40 winks
I fall asleep listening to Radio 4 - I like the noise of voices as I doze off. If there are too many of my thoughts whirling around in my head, (and this is where I start to think I'm odd, after reading everyone else's confessions) I kind of 'take dictation' from the shipping forecast or the news or whatever is broadcast. I hear the words, then see them in my mind's eye on the page, the shape of the letters and the shape and length of the word. It leaves no room for other thoughts and I'm asleep within minutes. I can't listen to music to fall asleep - it has a stuimulant effect, no matter what kind of music it is.
Sleeping to the radio
Adult to small child who has just answered the door: "Is your Mummy in?"
Small child: "She's asleep listening to Woman's Hour."
Bed, where is thy spring?
I don't seem to have this trouble. Diet and preoccupation seem to be pretty much the only factors that affects whether I sleep. Thus I must not eat after 7 if I want to fall asleep by 11. And almost nothing wakes me. Someone was stabbed to death on my street once and I slept through the whole incident. Provided I have followed the eating rule, I can fall asleep to any music or stimulus, even violent atonal C20th music. I fully expect to die in a fire someday.
To sleep, perchance to dream
I am fortunate. I fall asleep when I want to, which means when I am tired. I sleep lightly but it never really bothers me if I wake in the night [or if I am woken] because a cup of tea usually sorts me out. I wake when I need to. How dull.
I'm dreaming of a ... daq
Not really - BUT - come on, Dr.Q+ - you are within sight of the line (or at least in line of site.) You can make it ... deep breath ... push ... push ... only a bit to go ...

I'm afraid that Doris_Newbold and ffiish are about to lose a bit of well earned dosh, Doris though having just made the finishing post.

site ... s/b ... sight ... sheesh!
dream
[Chalky] not at all, sounds blissful! [celebdaq] That's it, I've sold Keanu, his usefulness offscreen clearly not in proportion to his arboresence on screen... it Prince Charles for me! (As the Butler said) (allegedly)
nodding off
I like sleep but sleep doesn't like me. I can't do it properly at all. And following on another comment, I fully expect to die by being stabbed to death as I set fire to Projoy's house.
zzzzzzz
At the beginning of the week, when I have classes, I get about 3-5 hours of sleep a night. At the end of the week, I get 10-12. Plus, any night of the week, I might decide not to sleep at all. In this fashion, I am training my body not to expect any particular amount of sleep at any particular time. I'll never be jet-lagged again!
[noise] I can't handle TV or conversation when trying to sleep at all, but I can handle music if it doesn't have lyrics, and is very repetative. For instance, I've fallen asleep underneath tables in the middle of raves a couple of times. Of course, driving all day to get there and then having to unload all the speakers undoubtedly helped.
Sleep
I used to have terrible trouble sleeping through other people's noise. My lodger used to have music on at night fairly quietly and it used to drive me mad, especially the fact that the bassline was audible more than the rest, to the point where we had a screaming row about it. She couldn't see my point of view and I was incensed that she couldn't see mine. Now that I know I'm obsessive about it I can sleep through it just fine. If it's me making the noise (my music, my radio, etc) I can sleep through practically anything.
Bass disturbance
FG] I couldn't stand any music at night either. I once shared a room in an International hostel with a guy who had an immense collection of pop music from Ghana. I had to move rooms to stay sane. The ex-roommate then started to make claims that I was racist (notes on the message board - complaints to the hostel management) because I didn't like being kept up till 4.00am every night. In an international setting, this was extremely hurtful.

This may seem funny, but it is really very sad. I someone who suffered from Tourette's syndrome recently. For some bizarre reason, he'd chosen to become a street performer - specialising in children’s entertainment. There must be a reason why he chose such an inappropriate career path.
I met someone
[Bob] Sounds interesting. Tell us more!
Lib] Not much more to tell. I was with my (at that time) 6 year old daughter. This chap was dressed in colourful street hippy type clothes and was earnestly and unsuccessfully trying to attract the attention of people with children outside Shakespeare’s Birthplace (I live in Stratford). I'm not usually keen on this kind of thing, but he seemed so honestly appealing so we stood and watched him juggle. He came over to us and talked to my Daughter. He was very sweet and friendly but when he spoke to me it was obvious he has Tourette's because he would twitch (as if sneezing) and shout a swearword. My partner and I are not uptight about letting my daughter hear swearwords, if she asks, we just tell her what they mean and that they are words it is wrong to use in public because they could cause offence. Same with this guy. It gave me an opportunity to talk to my daughter about the syndrome and how awful it must be to be a sufferer. The juggler, however, was not at all popular - especially with other parents - which was a shame because he really was good with my daughter.
Knee-capped
Not too gutted though - made well over 200,000 since dividend payout having not quite reached the 2,000,000 mark and was never going to make it up to the 3,000,000 mark before today. This week will be the real test.
Tourette's
[Bob and anyone else who's interested] There is a form of Tourette's, just as well documented, which manifests it self in strange twitches and 'noises' but NOT swearing. [I suppose it's not surprising that the uncontrolled blaspheming is the symptom that attracts all the attention - and sniggers] I know this because my brother's son had it. He and his wife noticed when my nephew was about 8 years old and within months he was diagnosed by the top specialists in the country. They have spent years keeping abreast of the constantly updated research on the syndrome as well as communicating via support groups, etc with other families who suffer. They were told quite early on that he would 'grow out' of it during puberty. He did. He's now 16 and is a superb county rugby player and is in the England R U Development Squad.
Had a conversation with a friend last night, she mentioned someone she knew who had Tourette's -- his specific symptom was that he'd 'baa' like a sheep all the time...
tourettes
Bob] You are right of course to say it is very sad and an awful syndrome etc etc. BUT, I am sorry, a juggling kid's entertainer with tourettes. That is comedy genius. Or would be if it were a sketch on Trigger Happy TV and not real life. Are you telling me that you haven't since laughed at the thought of the guy handing a balloon shaped like a donkey to some 6 year old and then saying "BOLLOCKS" really loudly? Tragic syndrome. Hysterically funny image.
Mental rental
Tee-hee - a self-drive rental truck has just driven into our office balcony, gashing a huuuuge hole in its roof!!
5 tonne monsters
I drove one of them last time we shifted. Why me and not the man of the house I can't remember. I was completely paranoid, because of the huge excess to pay if there'd been an accident, and because it was huge compared with our little car. But the bouncy driver's seat was fun.
van woman
[flerdle] It'll be because you're sensible and give off an air of confidence and capable-ness. And of course, you could blame Mr flerdle for making you drive if there'd been an accident... ;o)
little do they know...
[penelope] I love how your mind works :-D
He said WHAT?
St d] In fact that is what happened - except there was no balloon and he said "W@NKER" :o)
mini-swears
If walking past my old primary school is representive, kids know words like bol****s and w**ker anyway. In my day 'bum' was rather naughty.
A missing "ta"
They taught me to spell in those days as well.
w@nker
Bob] And you have laughed since in teling this story ? I am tempted to turn into a street clown and fake the tourettes.
googlewhack
not that i am particularly bored today or anything, but I just found a googlewhack, and they wont let me post it - I assume because it is deemed rude. Anyway I willshare it here as it is a genuine whack! FELLATED MOHICANS.
St d] Come to think of it - he said that too...
Whacked Off
[st d] Are you sure that's a googlewhack? If so I'm really rather surprised.
googlewhack
Oooh! It is, I just checked..
moving
[flerdle] You have a longer drive this time. And remember to deflate the tires when you reach the desert.
Losing hair
I was going to compose an extraordinarily witty comment to post somewhere on the site. However, I thought that this was even more funny (courtesy of my I.S.P.):

Service Disruption Start: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 5:53AM EDST
Last Updated: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 12:04PM EDST
Scheduled Service Disruption: No
Who is affected: Some customers
Impact: We are currently having problems with ADSL. This is affecting customers in New South Wales. Some customers will experience no dataflow. Technicians are treating this issue as a priority and are working on the problem.

Right, I'm off to find a pub or a bottle or something - it beats crying. Any takers?

Looking at that
Not clear? Probably not.

I have just spent considerable amounts of time attempting to post/read/hack a number of sites. I'm giving up and, hopefully, will see you all tomorrow.

Credit where it's due department
Last night, bored as hell with the quality of discussion in a chatroom, I began posting "Fascinating Facts", all culled from the lies game on this very server. After I posted Ibid's "Hammerhead sharks have to clean their teeth regularly, due to the large quantities of salted peanuts they eat." one of my duller interlocutors asked "where do they get the peanuts", allowing me to take great pleasure in replying "Do I look like a marine biologist?"

Totally irrelevant I know, but just a small example of how the MC community brings happiness into the world in small unexpected ways. :)

Projoy
I remember meeting you once in the Head of Steam many moons ago, on a Tuesday if I recall correctly. From that dim recollection, and also from my having met more than a couple of Marine Biologists in my time, I can only conclude that from a certain angle, and in the right light, you actually DO look like a Marine Biologist. But that is by the by - where DO the sharks get the peanuts from ?
You know, sometimes I wish I actually were a marine biologist. Particularly today, with the office feeling especially horrible.
marine biology
Indeed. How nice to be sitting on a beach somewhere far flung with a torch and a clipboard and a ruler, waiting for a load of turtles to turn up.
[Projoy] Why are people in chatrooms so stupid? The number of times I've tried to talk about something interesting or intelligent, only to get in reply "wot". I appreciate that my kind of interesting conversation may not be everyone's, or indeed anyone's, but what kind of idiot just types "wot"? The same kind that spells "great" with an 8, I suppose. [Shuffles off in carpet slippers muttering about the war.]
chatroom schmatroom
[Bready] Where do you chat? I'll gladly gatecrash and help you to liven things up a bit. Likewise [Projoy] there's some interesting Duologues to be made there, I'm sure. I was a frequenter of MSN chatrooms, where I would resort to lobbing virtual cushions about the room to initiate some reaction. And if nobody responded to a cushion, I'd try throwing virtual knives.
chattin
I have to confess - when I first became internetted a few years ago, my first port of call was an MSN chatroom. I plunged myself nervously into the mêlée, learned all the patter, sussed out the dynamics, etc. Anyway, after a couple of unsatisfactory weeks I decided it wasn't for me and became far more attracted to the community message board attached to the room, where I encountered some like-minded souls. Anyway, to cut a long [but rather interesting] story short, I now have two very close friends whom I see on a regular basis as a result of that experience. So, although I wouldn't be seen dead in a chatroom now [they terrify me], I can't exactly decry those who get something out of the experience.
Besides, if I manage to get any time to myself late evening, I would rather bimble around the Crescent sites. Talking of which, does anyone frequent the MCiOS chat server? If I knew that some friendly faces were in there, I might make an exception.
As far as I can see we never get around to creating enough activity in our own chatroom at MCiOS. We should maybe have a particular time in the week (like Sunday night at 8 or whatever) for VirtualPilgs, then the place would really buzz.
Grasshopper mind
Oh, and to leap back to the neurology discussions, is it meaningful for a person to maintain "I'm pretty ADD today" (as I have just done to a colleague. I certainly am finding it hard to focus on anything for longer than 20 seconds today, which is not always a problem.
And another thing
Why do I invariably leave off the closing parenthesis or comma from a subclause, and why do I often forget to put a question mark at the end of a question? Somebody must know. I can't be the only one.
crescent chat
[Projoy] Damn fine idea, although I'm part of a pub quiz team and we compete on Sunday nights, so I can't make it until about 11pm. Also I'm likely to be a bit squiffy.

Noting your simulpost PJ - it's because you're having an BAD ADD day

ADD
I had the answer to your questions, then I am afraid I got distracted by a tiny jam tart.
Mmm. Jam tart.
The MCiOS Chat Room
[Chalky] I'm usually in there while I'm at work (usually 12:30-21:30 GMT), but often not at my desk when anyone happens to show up. :(
trying to work at home
Distractions? DISTRACTIONS?? You should worry - a mere glimpse at the words jam tart sent me into the kitchen to throw together a chocolate sponge. Smells lovely, mind.
tarts
I just had another one. Terribly nice. Tiny little ones as well. From Safeways I believe. Mmmmm.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! You know I can actually FEEL myself stagnating today. This is not good.
chat
The thing is, strange people live in the MCiOS chatroom.. scary people..

Yay! I just won a prize!

winning ways
Well done, snorgle. Your statement begs the questions - what and what for?
stagnation
[st d] Glad I'm not the only one. Know what I did (nobody tell my boss, please). I stood up, announced I was going for a late lunch, then walked out of the building took a tube to Covent Garden and marched into the Back Rub Centre for 20 minutes of massage by a very attractive man. I came back and slipped into my desk with a cat and cream sort of expression. It may not have helped my productivity, but it sure as hell made me feel better.
chat denied
I can't MCiOSchat at work :o( but I can eat jam tarts, although right now we don't have any. We had mince pies in the office yesterday though :o). A weekly cyberpilg would be good - I sometimes see DrQ in there, and occasionally flerdle, usually 9pm-ish GMT. How about a Monday night?
And simulposted by Projoy - why can't I work closer to Covent Garden and the attractive backrub man? Tesco's mince pies down't sound a patch on a cat-and-cream expression after a session like that. (Mind you, there are runours of a company with its own rowing eight moving into the office suite next door to us):oD
Monday nights are probably quite sensible, since one's least likely to have a social engagement/evening class/rehearsal/major shopping expedition/press conference to launch Conservative leadership bid that night.
thumbs up for Monday
Bugger - that's the evening I usually have sex. Ah well, I suppose abstaining one day a week won't do any harm. :-)
curious companies
[pen] a Company with its own rowing eight?? I wonder if the contentious eightsome have to work in a separate soundproofed room so their 'loggerheading' doesn't disturb the placid ones?
smashing!
[Chalky] The new company has 'Porcelain' in its title (I've seen some early post in the lobby) so perhaps they're made to keep their oars elsewhere for fear of smashing the samples. I wonder where they keep their rowlocks?
Night-time
Monday nights sound good to me.
Cyber pilg
Do Monday nights suit non-UK MCers? It'd be particularly good if Dunx, Dr Q, Flerdle and Dujon et al can join in as they can't get to UK pilgs.

This Monday is out for me - I'm doin' my thing at a conference in Edinburgh. Three days of torment made good because of the location.

But I'll join in a week on Monday. I'll merrily settle down in front of the PC with a big drink and a cuddly toy (I've never been on a pilg but I believe this is the done thing).
llareggub
I'm looking forward to the new Under Milk Wood on R4 this Sat - thank God they've kept Burton.
Le Pilg à Cyber
I haven't tried the chat room recently from work; should be OK, since our firewall is reasonably permissive. And Monday night is probably a better bet in any case - the last time any kind of regular online MCing was attempted was with an IRC channel many moons ago, and I don't think there were ever more than about four people.
chat?
[snorgle] I didn't think I was that scary...

I have had several attempts at seeing if people could coordinate to turn up in the chatroom at some particular time, but it's never worked. However, pilgs have been great, and things seem to really take off when there's more than three people there (or more than one, which is more often the case). Now that there seems to be some sort of interest, of *course* I'll be around. When people are at wirk it just doesn't work, I think, so UK evenings are fine for me, especially now that the sun comes up earlier. Day of the week doesn't matter too much, although if I work that day I may have to leave by 11pm UK time (Sundays and Tuesdays, probably). Some days I can be around longer because I'll be working from home, so there may be a possibility of more US-Aus meeting more towards the US evening time, (even west coast). My possible times, of course, are only for the next two months, then I'll have to see how the net connection and a new time zone work. Monday night is fine. What other possibilities are there? Maybe broadcast the idea to the other two sites.

*lights candle, sings softly to self*

pilgs win prizes
[flerdle]I might manage a Monday, but can't guarantee I'd be there long..(it was JLE who was scary..:) I can't get into that chatroom at work, but home is fine. I think my computer is on its last legs(or something), but I've asked for one for Christmas, so you never know.. :) I won a trip up to London to see Love Actually - travelling up Friday, staying overnight and seeing the film the next morning..Yay!
Jealousy
Oh, I say, snorgle, well done!
What is it with ladies? My wife has been fortunate enough to win two (2!) trips over the last few years - well, ten or fifteen years - one to Fiji and one to Mauritius ... grrrr!
waaant prizes!
[Dujon] Not this one. hmph.

Well, if the activity in the chatroom last night was any indication, we could be in for a fun time when Mondays roll around :-)

*blows out candle, wanders off*

Whoops
Just remembered that on Monday night I too shall be in Edinburgh. [Bob] I'm in Embra on Mon/Tues nights. I expect you'll be tied up with your conferencing, but if you fancy a pint let me know and we could work something out.
prize!
Got the details in the post this morning (first class does still work sometimes..) and we'll be staying at the Hyde Park Towers Hotel, so I hope it's nice. Luckily I managed to get tomorrow off work without any trouble..
Mcpilg
rab] That'd be fab - Monday drawback is I'm a meeting between 6 and 8 ish. I arrive (if Virgin do their stuff) at 15.41 so I've got some time either early or late evening. Tues busy until 9ish. If you are still able to go for a drink - email me!
*zoing*
hippy
[rab]Are you being Shaggy?
Shaggy
[snorgle] Isn't that rather a personal question?! But so as I don't become the subject of unfounded allegations I should point out that that's the sound of an email winging it's way to Bob the dog.
Rooby rooby roo!
ADD
Just to return to the subject again, oh wait jam tarts.....
ahem I had an ADD moment last night. I was watching a film which, whilst enjoyable, was not exactly the most demanding in terms of plot or dialogue After 45 minutes or so I found myself fidgeting and eventually I was balancing cigarettes on my hat, just to keep a bit more of my mind occupied. I wondered if this has something to do with it, maybe my brain requires more than an 'average' amount of stimulation and that maybe this could be related both to ADD and OCD? If I'm suitably engrossed in something, most of my OCD evaoprates only to return when I get bored again. Discuss?
bored
Sounds like you were just bored FG. I mean, its understandable really. What I am interested in though (and this may sound flippant but is a serious enquiry) is the hat/cigarette thing. Were you balancing the cigarettes whilst in the packet ? Or were you balancing single cigarettes on their end (far trickier) Were you wearing the hat ? What kind of hat was it ? Were the cigarettes lit ?
Mad? Me? Who says I'm mad? Mad am I? That's what those fools said in medical school. Could a madman do this? Hahahahahaaaa!!!!
[FG] Not wanting to bore on this topic any more than necessary, but yes, the more engrossed I am in something the less OCD I am, and the less, the more, if you see what I mean. But I think this applies to everyone to some degree. Aristotle says that the only people who eat sweets at the theatre are those who are bored by the play, the point being that there's no such thing as generic "pleasure", but rather each activity has its own pleasure, and the more engaged you are in an activity, the more you enjoy it. In other words, you can't completely enjoy two things at once, because they will compete for your attention; and conversely, if you aren't enjoying something, your mind will try to find something else to enjoy. Discuss.
I'm bored, too
Heavy, saucer-shaped object they throw in athletics competitions. Discus. sorrysorrysorry
Fidgeting
I can't sit still, especially in things that I'm required to sit still for. My mum refuses to sit by me at the theatre as i'm constantly shuffling in my seat and my boyfriend clobbers me when i fidget whilst sat next to him at the cinema. Its not cos I'm bored (as I'm often accused of) I just get un-comfy so feel the need to move.
numb-bum
[Lib] I find lot of theatre and cinema seats are rather uncomfortable at about the one hour stage. Shuffling is somewhat necessary.
stretchy legs
[Lib]I try to sit in the front row or on an aisle seat - more leg room that way.
Chat
Apparently, the MCiOS chat room does work for me at work. This is good. I should be along on Monday, meetings permitting.
The Kiki Thing
[FG] I know what you mean. I find some meetings to be similarly frustrating.
Hats
[st d] It's a wooly hat. It was on the floor. It was knitted by my mum with big thick wool and consequently (a) stands up on its own, and (b) has holes in it especially a nice one in the top. I managed to get a cigarette wedged in the hole, pointing vertically, and then attempted to balance another one on top of that, and so on. Quite a challenge actually, I never made it further than one on top of another.
Fag balancing
I remember a book by Julian Barnes in which someone lies on her back and smokes a cigarette all the way down without tapping it out, so that a thin grey column of ash is balanced perilously on top of her lips. She then reveals that she had stuck a hairpin down the length of the cigarette before lighting it to hold it together. If I knew how to smoke, I'd use that trick to impress girls.
If I knew...
[BM] Surely there must be some evening class you can go to.
For some reason I thought BM was going to give us the low-down on the ping-pong ball scene from Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. Its a great trick for impressing the boys...
ping pong
Oh how I laughed... What's the trick? It's dead easy!
What the?
After running in the high teens and low twenties, the weather has turned = 36°C as I type. Urrgh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with that - it's tonight I'm worried about.
Someone broke the weather
That's interesting, here on the east end of the US we've had the opposite problem - High of 60ºF and low of 30 one day, high of 30 and snow the very next day.
Ping Pong
[BtD] Oh, if only I knew the low-down on that...
[Dujon] Where do you live?
talking of the weather...
It's a cracking day here in the mid-south of dear old Blighty... an azure blue sky, fluffy while cloudy things and lots of smiley faces .. especially on rugby fans.. Kinda makes me glad to be alive.
Outlook uncertain...
Lovely day here in mid UK too. I wonder what Edinburgh will be like?
Embraclime
According to my guest from that fine city, it's been warmer and drier than Manchester. Though that doesn't surprise me.
A porridge of high pressure
rab] Good. I shall bring mt Bermuda kilt!
for mt read my.
A boys weekend
Not only was the weather good here but the wife (and mother of three) left on Friday for a weekend of shopping with some of her friends, returning after tea today. Just a quick tidy up half hour before she arrived...a free weekend of no 'lists of thing-to-do', no 'we can't sit around here all day', just coke,crisps, playstation and the occasional nappy...easy.

Meanwhile over at Celebrity MC mini league Chalky takes over from DrQ at No 1, and staight in at No3 is the mysterious x_sugarbabe_x

slacking off and daq-ing off
[Inkspot] Lovely! I managed to grab about three hours of my own company this afternoon. I built a log fire and sprawled in front of the TV. Grand.
Re: Celebdaq ... yes, that daughter of mine is going to be SO smug when she sees how well she's performing. Strangely enough - I put all my pounds on the same person as she did after divi-time last Friday .. and today she has somehow managed to get ahead of me. Beginner's luck I say.
dak dik dak dik _ dak dak dik dak

Grumbles something about 'children these days!' and heads for the shed.
to do lists
Inkspot] Sounds like you should make her a list with: 1.leave me alone Please ! and 2. Stop making me lists and: 3. realise that not only CAN he sit around all day and do nothing, but he finds it remarkably therapeutic.
cross-posting
[To all Radio4 listeners] 1830 GMT tonight is the first of the new series of ISIHaC from Winchester. I'm hoping to hear myself laughing.
wish lists
Chalky]Three hours in a single afternoon? to yourself? Now that's sounds wonderful, I'll exchange you that for my Tom the toddler ("Read books daddy", "Do puzzle daddy", "Train track...", "Play cars...")The other two being 9 and 12 can be left to their own devices.

On second thoughts ignore that, I wouldn't change him for anything...
st d] It's not the just lists but the silent looks, perhaps Chalky could give some insight ;)

A plea
Why are there only two of us playing Mornington Crescent? :(
annoyed glares
[Inkspot] Doubt if I can share any insights, not knowing if the lists/silent looks are aimed at your role as a husband [B&Q, DIY, manly household chores] or father [guidance & gainful occupation of young things]. To be honest, I'm a fan of the school of 'sitting round all day at home with the TV/video/DVD/Playstation/CDplayer/piano/PC/Internet' especially when there's little ink smudges to look after.
Children actually enjoy sharing stay-at-home-stuff with relaxed adults.
I think there's far too much - [oh dear - high horse alert] - "Oh yah, to develop their full potential, little Venetia and young Felix are always occupied with ballet, moderndance, jazz/tap dancing, drama, horseriding, t'ai chi, judo, karate, kick boxing, cordon bleu vegetarian cookery, screen printing, blah-de-blah classes and isn't my 4-wheel drive so handy for running them around in?" Bollocks to all that. As long as they walk regularly, go swimming as often as possible, and actually spend some time with their parents, they usually turn out OK.
[Ahem - that is, provided their parent/parents are normal :-)]
adults
Hurrah! A non-neurotic parenting-type! Any room on that horse for the rest of us?
zk
Maybe they've got us on ignore...
ignorami
[AP] No chance Pet! I'm assuming that most of the 'onliners' last evening were in the chat server in MCiOS. I even leapt off my high horse to join 'em.
late chat
[Chalky] Ah, the pantomime. I was still chuckling about it even as I wwent to bed. There were a few more characters that I forgot to own up to... although this may have been before you came in. I was also the rocket and the Qualified Master Sofa Assembly Technician (who was ejected into high orbit when CdM pressed the eject button on the old sofa).
guffawing
[pen] Wonderful stuff - if I'd had more wits about me [or less vino IN me] I would have worked out how you managed that without my noticing. *plots fiendish strategy for next time*
Ah-ha!!
[pen] So it was you!! I think flerdle must have been the Door-to-Door salesperson - no idea who the monkeys were though. And I wasn't impersonating anyone. It was all I could do to keep myself upright on the chair most of the time. I wish I could have stayed :-/
*innocent*
I wasn't anybody other than myself. And I stayed to the very end. Seven hours in all. *was insane*
Oh, and I did get work done today. Honest, guv.
chatty
I was planning to do stuff last night, but so much for that.. :)
owning up
I was the Door-to-Door Salesman and one of the Shakespear-quoting monkeys - although I'm not sure who the other one was. I was sniggering so hard throughout I had aching ribs and cheeks by the end of the evening. As a form of laughter therapy, I reckon that would cure anything :o)
two windows
[Chalky] You just have two chat rooms windows open side-by-side. At one stage I had three - there was me as penelope, the (Retired) Firework Salesman, and the rocket, which fortunately didn't stay in the room very long as I was having trouble keeping track of what was what by that stage.
Regrets
It was a riot. I really wish I could have stayed, but playing from work and trying to work is too difficult for my brain to cope with.
roles
I was just me. Oh, and the IKEA delivery person, of course. And my apologies to everyone for being so non-communicative -- I kept getting tied up in these long work phone calls that required my brain.
I missed this. Will another be arranged?
[BM] It seemed like Monday night was a good night to meet, so it may happen, to a larger or smaller extent, any Monday from here on in. Or any other time. I think some people might be there this Saturday afternoon too. Check here for other announcements of a gathering-type nature.
chatroom
How does one find the chatroom?
Over yonder
Tina] On the MC5 front page there is a link to Orange and MCiOS, under the clock, click on "the Real time chat server Beta", enter your name. Whatever you do, don't press the red button!
chatroom
Thanks Inkspot.
What a load of fucking crap this site is, compared to Pants. No wonder I've left
Refusing to accept that that was the 'real' Rosie.
My apologies - that should have read:
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. I shall endeavour to join those who may partake of the delights of the 'chat room' next Monday - I shall most likely be a wee bit late (assuming I make it at all) as 8pm on Monday to most of you is 7am to me on Tuesday.
monkey-business
[penelope] The other monkey was Phil.
simian episodes
[flerdle] Phil, was it? Cheeky monkey. He was poking fun at me all night. Just tell him I know where his pub is...
EEEEEEEEK!
My Celebdaq went all pink and has Simon Cowell on it! GAAAAAAAH!
Backchat
Sorry I was unavailable on Monday. I was engaged in an alternative form of chat with Bob the dog. It was a bizarre experience - there was no delay between send and receipt of message, furthermore the conversation didn't get out of synch with itself and we were able to teleport alcoholic beverages to one another in real time. I don't think my brain can cope with the sensory overload, and I'll have to revert to the old-fashioned style next week.
Brooms
Oh... and I feel it might be time to get the brooms out and cobweb away some of the games that are starting to putrify. Someone want to set the ball rolling?
Sweeping
I placed a fairly strong hint in the Carpe Diem game, though no-one seems to want to be The One Who Finished A Game.
Clang!
Just dropped another hint in the Centurion game.
Marvellous
Those were the two that were at the top of my list for treatment. So folks - remember the rules: revivals of old classics require a case for support.
alternative form of chat
Rab] Most enjoyable. Would be very happy to attempt further teleportations at some point in the future. Conference over, I am now sitting in an internet cafe in Waverly station awaiting my 8 hour train journey home.
New Game] never contributed but always enjoyed the longwinded game on !York...
Huit heures
[Bob] Do you have a bit of a long onward journey at your destination (as train conductors like to put it)? I wouldn't have thought it would take that long to get to where you're going...
Please, please, please, please, please?
There is a spare game slot. Would anyone mind if I started up a Lost Consonants Cat Room, so as to get out of the darkened cupboard that is the old game on MCiOS?
[Im] Well I dot min at all.
*hands Kim a torch and firmly shuts the cupboard door* I'm kidding!! I jet!
.. and now for the game of Mornington Crescent
Although there are plenty of MC variants scattered around the other two sites, might it not be appropriate to use one of the two available slots in here for a new one? We only have the Long Game. Perhaps an Imposters version of some sort ... like Literary giants? Or an old classic that I'm not aware of.
Guests
I think there's two slots, so we could accomodate both Kim and Chalky.
acknowledging
Hmmm rab .. I think I'll wait to see if there's any support for my idea, or even an alternative suggestion/theme, eg. a couple of weeks ago, Huxley mentioned [in MCiOS?] the Worldwide Underground Station map which drew some favourable murmers. Mind you, I haven't seen him around much lately.
[Chalky] Indeed - there was that; also I recall (possibly) Boolbar suggesting a story game in which each player pastiches an author of his or her choice. This could be interesting...
Oddly....
...it appears that someone has decided for the masses. Oh, and the worldwide map was from me. The author game was each player "plays" an author continuing the ongoing story in their own style and trying to introduce their own characters and elements whilst removing the other authors stuff. A sort of Authors Tag Wrestling.
Yeah - what's that all about? Sound charades is up and running at Orange so there's no need for it here.
Also both new games violate the principle expounded 11 moves up. Does anyone ever actually read these things?
deciding for the masses
I just created 2 new games, cos I felt like it, which was actually purely coincidental. I wasn't trying to undermine any of the ideas on here, I promise!!! I didn't know about the sound charades at orange cos this is the only site I use *slinks away in to the corner feeling very very ashamed*
Resolution
Comments from the floor please...
Oh dear. I've just spent ages combining my and Boobar's idea into an amusing posting for here, in a blatant attempt to 'sell' the idea - now it's all gone to waste. Humph. ?

Sorry ZK ... nothing personal :-)

reading back a bit ....
I'm afraid I had a crack at you [ZK] in the Balls Game - sorry if it seemed a bit snappy. As you're probably feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing- would you like rab to 'retract' the new games, then we can go back to where we were in the discussion process?
[rab] Is that possible?
Um...
[Chalky] It might involve closing the site for a few minutes, cos although in principle I know how to do it, in practice there could be traps for the unwary... (mostly because I've not had to do it before).
Surely you can just play MC to end the games....
end the games
well - shall we just 'end' the new games before they've begun, by using the magic words .. or does that mess up the Modern Classics archive bit?
simul-posted
[Boobar] Sorry - I simul-ed. And apologies for not crediting you with the World Map of Underground Stations a little while ago :-)
AGAIN!
Jeeeeeez - I've apologised 4 times in the last half-hour.
Sorry.
[Chalky] I'm sorry to hear about your apologising problem. I hope it isn't catching!
Endings
[rab] Trust me - you do not want to be in a position where you have to learn how to retract games rapidly.
Sorry to interrupt, by the way.
Other Endings
I'm seriously wondering whether we should end the Lies game, not because it is moribund but almost precisely because it isn't: have it go out on a high, so to speak.

thinks: I wonder if there is legs in games which never end, but which automatically drop off the front page if unused. Kind of half games which don't count against the game limit but which would be, as it were, already won when they're started. Hmm...

Phantom games
As long as people don't mind there being weird zero-move games in the archive, then not formally erasing them from the database gets my vote. I think I know how to remove things as though they never existed, but that's all a bit sinister and not very nice.
So...
A new game slot! What shall we do with it?
The Authorised Version
[Boolbar] Going back to the Authors .. *thinks* .. combine my Imposters MC idea with Boobar's pastiche using both writers/poets AND characters from literature - such as:
'William Shakespeare:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
Thus Shoreditch tavern proffers alms to me.
Bridget Jones:
Gah to your poxy tavern Willy-boy! The off-license in Shepherds Bush has a token collection scheme for cut-price chardonnay.'

OK - so perhaps my example is a bit crap, but you get the gist?

I have to say, I'm favouring the MC Game idea more than the continuous story - only because the recent StoryGame in MCiOS took off like a rocket and fizzled into the ether rather too quickly.

Or - gasp - you could have a story game with no MC connections at all...
backing off
rab - wasn't that the style of the MCiOS one I mentioned above? Whatever - I've made enough noise for one day - I'm still relatively new to this site and wouldn't presume to start a new game in any case. There must be all sorts of great and original ideas from the afficionados out there :-)
sotto voce
Quickfire Patience Mornington Crescent while we're waiting, anyone?
pen...
someone called ? :oD woof woof !
New games
Oh, please, not a longwinded game! I still haven't recovered from the last one. Over a year on, and I haven't yet even had the strength to open the folder it's all compiled in, and see if I want to actually try and make it into a proper novel.
I have always fancied the idea of a Who do you do? kind of game - moves in the style of famous (or obscure, in my case) authors - I tried to get the recent MCiOS story game moving in that direction, but there were few takers. I'd quite like to play a standard game of MC at some point - there seem to be only the Long Games going on atm.
But maybe there's an entirely new game out there somewhere, and all it needs is a little inspiration...

But not from me, obviously.

Pisces
I should perhaps iterate that our resident custodian of exotic fauna (trans. Zooological Keeper) is of course still welcome to ply his or her trade in these grounds. Today's little flurry of activity should not be taken as a signal of any animosity or resentment. I am merely keen to see a selection of games that will keep a reasonable number of people moderately happy for an undeterminable length of time. My personal stance (for that be the box into which I type) is that variety and originality are two virtues that have been shown to achieve that aim. I would say we don't always need a committee decision before starting a new game if the idea is particularly unusual/cute/timely/whatever; on the other hand, since slots tend to be at a premium (and I see no need to raise the limit1), it's probably a good idea - particularly with the those that come round often - to see if at least a couple of others are up for it. </Jerry's_Final_Thought> *group hug*

[1] Unless offered huge wads of cash, or favours to a similar value.

Gosh, people have figured out how to use the words "Mornington Crescent"...
Activity! Well done folks, a bit of pruning never hurt anybody. Or maybe it did, but as long as their in the minority, they'll have to lump it.
Re: the remaining slot, some sort of impostors, or in fact any of several of the suggestions above'd do. If anyone can think of anything new and exciting, go for that.
Re: what pen said, is it worth filling the time with a quick MC bash? An eleven-move puzzle one'd be what I'd post if it's still free soon.
more stories
I would be in favour of one of the story game, but with the rider that each is a short between 10-15 moves, roundabout 100 words a posting (not written in stone). Looking at the recent games of this type there is an initial flurry followed by a slow death. By reinventing a topic every several moves could allow various impostered authors amemding the style to suit. As I'm not widely read I may need to come as a character Dennis the Menace!

In other news Celebdaq is back up and I've finally made to the Players Chart front page...at No 30. Still along way to go to beat penelope who managed No6.

Errr....
[rab and all] I know I'm only fairly new around here and I don't want to tread on any toes. I think that Rab is absolutely right in that a proposal for any new game should be able to demonstrate some support. I think, from my last posting, that I have support from Penelope and Boolbar and an accommodation from Rab, so, unless there are howls of disapproval in the meantime (or some other basard nabs the slot, I will start it up tomorrow morning (GMT).
Celebdaq
Does anyone else absolutely hate the new Celebdaq look? It's bloody annoying..
the end of the list..
You know the game right down at the bottom - the one called 'oooh, I wanna try this'? Well, I've broken it. I didn't start it, btw, and I have no idea who Jack O'Neill is, but I was demonstrating and, rab, I'm sorry, it came away in my hand.
Daq
[snorgle] I don't mind it all - to be honest I found the old one somewhat dark for my liking.
Celebcaq!
[Dujon]I liked that retro look. I don't like my new icons, either. *pouts*
Game ideas
I like story games. But they tend to work best when:
a) all moves are around 1 line each (I'd point to the long-lived Film & Crescent series on !York if !York were up)
b) the moves are anonymous (e.g. this one, maybe because of multiple movers)

But I'd also like a round of "Misheard Lyrics". A bit like Spellcheck Songs (remember that from !York?), except we rewrite chosen songs using soundalike words (not lookalike words). The last game was popular, as long as we kept the songs short

Query
Hmm, some nice stuff in that referenced game, MF. The song bastardisation - how did that work? That is, one line per post or the whole kit and caboodle? This sort of thing, or am I missing the point?

"My Way" (Frank Sinatra)

Kow-tow, they send the beer;
Ah so I'll brace for the coming burton.
Please lend, me some buckshee
To save my face, or it's the slate on....

Yes, I know it's not good - just off the top of the head stuff: but is that the idea?

Eggs sealant!
Eck! Sacked Lee, thee I'd hear!
I said in the original, "write as much as you feel like"; Blob usually went and wrote the whole kit and caboodle. Gimme a sec...
That should do it...
Try here
Hmm, 4 minutes isn't bad!
Interesting

Thank you for your trouble

Sorry for the delay - I've been fighting the Geocities' pop-ups. ... :-)

Do you think it will work? There seemed to be few contributors on that one - although, even though I'm terrible with lyrics, it sounds intriguing.

After the storm
[Chalky] Reading up a lot (my word, you people typed a lot today) I've tried to find this game you had a crack at me in, but can't, so no offence taken! :)
[Duj]
thank you, yes, yes and yes. Like I said, if people kept their contributions (and the songs) short, it'd go better. And, hey, the new-found PantsMC talent'll make short work of the whole thing!
'avin' a fink
Well, I'm not going to wax lyrical about the thought so, being somewhat backward about coming forward in these matters, I shall await further comments. Given that it's early morn in the U.K. at the moment I'm assuming that any critiques will not be posted until such time as a few hours have passed us by.
Early morning
Must...go...to...sleep....
Nods
New game
So, will someone fill the slot with a game that more than one person actually wants to play before some oh so hilarious wankwit comes along and starts one with a ridiculous winning move?
Nods
The job puns seem to have gone down well on the lies game. I think this warrents a game of its own so we can all get on with bullshitting as ...so help me God intended. Unless there is an outcry in the next 15 minutes - this I will do.
Rab] 7 and a half hours to get to Stratford from Embra. Home at last - and knackered.
Dons
[Bob] Oof... don't I feel terribly northern with a mere 4 hour trek? I trust your shennanigan met an appropriate level of success.
Jobsworth
[BtD] Surely we've overdone the job puns? - we need a different thingy to get our teeth into.
shennanigans
rab] my input was particularly successful, although the conference created a huge amount of controversy...
Bool] Yes I agree, but I still think it could carry on in a themed way - e.g. relatives, the wild west, puddings etc.
recall of parliament
Has there been agreement between Lost Consonants Cat Room and a story type game

make that one more for the Lost Consnants

*raises had for lot consonants*
thirded
I agree on lost cosnants - but I still think it is time the lie game got back to some good ol' bollocks - hmmm...
Quoracy?
Would anyone lie to do the honours? I'm not very good at witty tiles.
Another hit game has begun...
In the pink
[Celebdaq] I like it, a lot more clear and easy to use. The colours could be a little less pink though. What surprised me is that I'm 4th after a pathetic % increase.
Kak 'daq
Sorry - I think the new look's utter pants (no connection with defunct MC site intended). And it's bloody slow, as well...
CelebDrag
I'll agree on the slow bit.
Cyber pilg
How did it go? Will there be more?
chattermongers
[Bob] Mayhem and insanity - and yes :-)
If you can be bothered there's some postings in here a couple of pages back.
please ignore my dreadful grammar
*resists urge to make a horrific pun*
Boo!
I wanted to call it: "Lost Consonants: this time its persona!"
woooooooooooooooo
It's pretty quiet in here - mind you, my home computer has fallen over and can't get up, so I can only access from work for now..*sniff*
Wakey-wakey
[snorgle] I'd wondered where you'd been...

[all] Good weekend?

Weekend Loveliness
It was until I was awoken at 2:30 am this morning by a mouse which sounded like it was tearing floorboards apart with its teeth.
Rugby club bonanza
Boolbar] Are you sure it wasn't a giant, white, unbearably cute mouse?
I had a good weekend apart from the R A I N. I was also vaguely aware of England’s rugby victory (I found out on Sunday morning) - which was pleasant. What was unpleasant, however, was Christmas shopping on Sunday and having to tip-toe through a minefield of pavement-pizzas - a memento of local folks celebrations.
Weekend
Mac Expo on Friday afternoon, where I picked up a copy of Panther (MacOS 10.3), followed by spending the weekend in a hotel on a personal development course. Someone announced the rugby result at some point, and half the people went "YES!" and the other half "hm?". 20-17 in the last twenty seconds of extra time, apparently.
hm?
Raak] Do you feel personally developed as a result of your course?
Ooops - re reading that it sounds dreadfully rude - I didn't mean to be. What I mean was ...erm ..well, what is a personal development course?
personally developmented
[Raak] I would love to hear more. When I worked on a national newspaper many moons ago - they sent a group of us on one of those weekends. If I remember correctly, it was a hoot. I'm wondering if 2003 methods are less ... ahem ... aggressively american.
ISIHaC - round 2
Tonight at 1830 GMT. It was much funnier than the first episode broadcast last week.
Are we meeting tonight?
ce soir
[Rab] Usual tme, usual place. I'll be the one wearing a pink mink.
yesyesyes
... and I'll be cunningly disguised as a bricklayer's mate.
The enlightened being is [IN]
[Btd] Well, I found it worth while, though it would really be up to whoever knows me to judge the effect, if any. [Chalky] Do you remember what group it was? There are a lot of these things (perhaps less so now than ten or twenty years ago), and yards of self-help books in all the bookshops. I expect that Sturgeon's Law applies. I'll write more when I have time this evening.
Pilgy Pilgy
Probably won't be along this evening since I've a lot on at work today, what with the three day week and all.
Uselessness
Apologies for uselessness but what's the "usual" time? 8ish?
Excuses . . . .
Alas, I'll be working out in the gym. Then I'm chasing mice and putting doors up.
chasing through rooms
[Boolbar] If you put the doors up first, you can then shut them and therefore won't have so far to chase the mice. Also (if the mice co-operate) can the chase not be part of your workout? Could you persuade them to run at half-pace for the first ten minutes, then full-pelt for 15 minutes, then a cool down pace for the final ten? It would seem to be the organised thing to do.
Lost Consonants
[Kim] Surely that should be "his tie is personal"
M/R/S INKSPOT - HELP
A rather red faced Dujon appears before his accusers; "It wasn't me, Guv" He says. "The blasted Windows machine suddenly started opening windows everywhere and in my desperation to stop such infidelity I clicked all over the bloomin' place." He added, "Then I found I was no longer a member of the celebrated..." *sobs* "Mornington Crescent League on the Internet."
"Can you please put me back in there?"
"Sorry!"
Member No.: 3256726, Reg. Name: DUJON2774
Back in
Look what you have done! zipped in at No2.
The last time I looked I was the father of wonderful three boys ;)
Patch the dog
Last nights ball-gown cyberpilg was very amusing. By an incredible coincidence, this was in my mailbox this morning...

Its New, Its Safe!
Its The Most Advanced Penile Enlargement Solution! !
It's 100% Guaranteed To Enlarge Your Penis. 3+ INCHES!
MAGNA-RX PATCH! Etc etc

So now I know…

PS. I was under the impression that someone was transcribing events – or at least cutting and pasting. Is this correct, and if so, can I have a copy?
Transcript
I've got a bit of it, but I think DrQ's got the whole lot waiting for him on his machine at work. I guess it'll put in an appearance sometime this afternoon.
Weapons of Mice Destruction
[pen] Now why didn't I think of that . . . I used chemical warfare on the mice. Peppermint oil down the gaps in the floorboards that they want to get through. Didn't get as far as hanging the door.
As I was leaving the gym a young slim female was looking my way so I tossed my towel nonchalantly over my shoulder, only for the towel to land slap over my head. I guess it's a good job I'm already married.
throwing in the towel
[Boolbar] But you would have made her laugh - and that, probably above all, is what women like. Speaking personally, making me laugh would go a long way to making a man attractive to me. Our mate Phil the Landlord (who was working on a business proposal at the time) kindly help me draft a marriage proposal in the chatroom last night, but unfortunately it expired before I could use it. :o(
Laughter
Women like MONEY and IDIOTS.
an unvarnished truth
[st d] Yes, because both make them LAUGH. QED.
Dr Q has posted the link to the transcript of last night's cyberpilg in Orange 'Pilg game' - it's taken me a whole HOUR to speed-read it.
Yes. By the way, is Buttercup a regular visitor to the Crescent? I've been looking around for him/her.
Buttercup
Someone mentioned last night, when asked the same question, that 'Buttercup' is the person known as pl ... the pl person was around last week and is very funny.
Yes, I'd picked up on that... so presumably this is a 'chat-only' guise. Well the more the merrier, certainly! And it was pretty merry last night I thought. Toga party next week?
chat-a-tat
Aww! I'm sorry I missed that.. I have a blokie coming to look at my home computer tomorrow and hopefully he'll sort it out. It's acting very strange and will only boot in safe mode now. I can't work out what's wrong with it. Very annoying!
Diagnosis
[snorgle] I think the problem is that it's broken.
[Chalky] Before my intention to say some more vanishes off the top... The course I was on does come from the States originally, founded by two Anglican priests (although there's nothing specifically religious involved) something like 25 years ago. Difficult to say much concrete, really. It's mainly about learning to see things as they are, and noticing when we stop doing that. Just look at a lot of the postings in the Advice game at MCiOS for examples of the stuff people come out with when that happens. They're posted there in fun, of course, but how often do you hear people saying things like that in real life?
beta-talk
I had not been in a chat room before last night and enjoyed it greatly. Although I did not contribute very much(sorry), I'll try and do better next time, but my typing speed is tortoise slow.
paws are not so good to type with...
Inkspot] Thank heavens someone else is in the same boat! I nearly fell over in awe at the laser-wit demonstrated by some contributors - very notably Néa and Pen. Great evening – especially following on from the classic ISIHAC earlier.
Apologies for not being able to make it last night. The internet was broken. Or at least the bit of it that leads to my house was. However, an internet-fixer came by today, and so I have home connection again. See you all next week, maybe.
Mr Inkspot!
Thank you kind sir.
Aunty's slow
'Tis ok.
Is it just me at the moment, as I'm getting error messages and pages just not loading when looking round BBCi news.
I was barely there Monday night after the initial flurry of activity - the phone line and/or/therefore the internet decided to die, slowly and horribly. Am not going to be around the next two, probably three weeks. A pity.

and Dujon: please check your email, see if mine got through to you, and let us know what you think... Thanks.

flerdle
Your message has been responded.
Typos notwithstanding
[BtD] I'm flattered - and encouraged that my distinctive typo style didn't detract from your enjoyment :o). Mostly it comes from snorting with laughter so hard that I can't see to type.
keyboard madness
[Dunx] I managed to access the internet last night, but then the keyboard doesn't seem to be working. Then it started beeping and random numbers appeared. I'm sure it must be a virus, as I can't think why my keyboard would suddenly go mad..

Also, when I switched my computer off, it seemed to switch off, but I realised later that the screen was off but the power was still on in the base unit..

[snorgle] I think your computer needs a good defenestration.
[snorgle] Or some good, old-fashioned percussive maintenance.
quick fix
BB/Wol] You are both wrong. I would rather suggest hitting it with a hammer or throwing it out of the window. Far more effective.
fencing
[Boolbar]That sounds rude! [Wol]Tried it already. [st dogmael]Sorely tempted..
a window on the world
Ooh, I love a good defenestration first thing in the morning...
Seriously ...
[snorgle] sounds like it could be a virus (My father-in-law had - I think - Bugbear, which stopped him from turning his machine off. Of course, he could just have unplugged it ... It also seemed to disable Norton anti-virus, but AVG found it in the end.) grisoft.com have a good, free anti-virus (AVG), and also utilities for extracting individual viruses once they have been identified.
*Wandering through dragging a teddy bear and sleeping bag*
I'm off to have my second nap of the day. Ooh! Aren't I lazy?!?!
awooga!
[Wol]The faults make it difficult to get to websites and do things.. Hopefully, the blokie tonight will sort it out.. [Lib]Yes you are! Wake up now!
[Raak] Thanks for that. Your experience sounds altogether less pushy, for want of a better word, than mine. Yes, it was about 18 years ago and to be truthful, I've been raaking my brains trying to remember the name of the organisation - I've even looked for the notes I made at the time. I recall that the lady who did most of the front work was called Ross. As well as being highly articulate, she was also extremely funny, which may be why my abiding memory is that of an immensely enjoyable experience. Your interesting observation regarding the Advice Game in MCiOS has prompted me to revisit, reread and revise my interpretations of some entries. Fascinating :-)
Training
I used to have great fun watching training videos for a well-known electrical company borrowed from a friend who worked for them. Themes included "How to recognise a customer" and "What do customers need?” My own experience of corporate indoctrination was when I worked for a record company and was sent on an induction day. It was a disaster. We had to offer our perceptions about customer responses to their TV ads. I told them the truth, that the ads were patronising and superficial. I lasted two weeks.
Can there be any better time to say the word "pendulum"?
hanging time...
[Thos] I don't think so. It shut us all up for five hours!
Disappointing news :o( My first new staff member was supposed to be starting on Monday but she's accepted another job instead. Poo. The next one starts on 15th December though...
Today I read a sign in the hosptial foyer.

"Due to difficulties we are unable to serve hot food in the resturant tonight. Please bare with us".

Not entirely sure how taking our clothes off will help, but willing to try!

Dr in Undressed Salad Scandal!
Uh...no comment. :)
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] I'm confused. After kneecapping on Monday, I used my ten grand to buy shares in J Wilkinson. I don't appear to have received any dividends at all. Does one have to stay with the same celeb for a full 7 days to qualify? Also - where to we find the 'Dividend Payout' List for today?
Just a final word about that course...I've actually done several of their courses over the last 10 years or so, as well as being on the organising team a few times. It's called "The Life Training", and in London it's put on every two months.
Johnny who?
Chalky] I am suprised that you have no divis as the payout is proportional to how long its been held, if a dividend is £7, and you hold that celeb from Tuesday, you will get £3, the big winners will be those that had like evil_edna who had the shares for all seven days. You can request a daily update email from the daq towers which on Fridays gives your payout plus details on divi of the week. Otherwise it means waiting till Monday when the full list will be published.
ps the reason for my long tem minus weekly gain is I have a cunning plan!
*cackle*
Jonny Wilkinson is my pretty boy! And I made it to No. 81 in the national table :o)
feeling a bit short-changed
[evil cackling woman] Perhaps there wasn't enough of him to go round - everyone wants a slice of him now :-(
Anything interesting happening in MCiOS or Orange? My ISP isn't allowing me into either server - very annoying, especially as I'm having a quiet day at home and I've got time to play .... *sound of gnashing teeth*
Hmmm
I made the mistake of getting some Michael Jackson as well. Never mind. Well done miss evil :)
daqy
I got Michael Jackson as well.. better than nothing, I suppose.. it's probably not work going for Johnny next week now. At least my computer's working again! It was the keyboard, so one new keyboard later, and everything's fine.
ISPants
[Chalky] Hmm, I can't get into outer space either...
Nnnnoooo...no pars-s-s-slow....
No chat...GAAAH!
dubious parentage
Now look here all you ex Pants chaps, it's just not cricket, shutting up the clubhouse like that when a fella's off writing a novel and not leaving a forwarding address! It was a good job a small trail of crumbs was left at the profiles page and a friend of mine called Lycos knew where you'd all gone. Consider yourself heartily rebuke, nay, castigated.
Novel post
Welcome Mr Coyote, yet another Pants refugee. I believe we are distant cousins?
Wile E Smiley!
*popping in to flash a grin at Wile E*. Am watching Channel 4's 100 Best Sexiest Scenes from the Movies and it's really rather good.....
Channel Phoar
*Curses the day he through the TV out*
Super Genius!
Welcome to our new home, WEC! And how is Marie these days?
Hello again!
[WEC] Sorry to find out that various messages were not passed on - it's so hard to find decent help these days! ... :-) Anyway, you have found a few of us; did you employ Sherlock?
[DrQ] I'm more worried about Jeeves, to be quite honest, after all he's the one who serves the drinks. Marie simply, well, err, serves otherwise.
The lovely Marie
Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.
carpet bugger
wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.
monopoly
Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...
jeeves update
[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.
Termination of Face Pyjamas
May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?
Goodnight
[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.
stupid pewter
Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)
Pastiche and chips
Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to
Takeoff
[Bob] Really?
Bob the dog sentence
murder our parents, who had long been
Erm, no then.
All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had
silly sentence
[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...
sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to
..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..
Aside
(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Tear in the space-time contiuum thingy!
Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...
Another vote for the Bob-the-dog sentence spectacular.
...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.
Too late! The deed is done
Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.
New Game
OK. It kinda worx.
New Game
[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.
*** game
I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).
****
[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.
I **** it.
Item of cutlery in a hot place.
I guess we could all give it a ***.
Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?
nonet
[Wol] I think it's ******
Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.
I so hate Geocities!
***** game
[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?
Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!
*****
[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.
sick puppy
That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.
it is ****
I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)
i bet you do
pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.
So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)
chat windows...
[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.
Down with ****s
[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

Massive Missive Musses Trellis
[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?
******* Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.
[Chalky] Be my guest.
first night breakages
Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?
small squeak
... not quite brave enough to start a new game ...

Thanks pen :-)

*CLANG!*
I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.
Pro Joy
Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.
I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Missive T
Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?
Executive decision
Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.
**** advice
I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.
[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.
Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!
knee-sittin'
[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!
blackballing Ma Whisky
Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!
Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?
Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!
Hmmph!
[Breadmaster] Pffft!
*CLANG*
* rolls slowly across the plain *
Ewired
I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!
digirad...
Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)
evocative
[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..
rad-ing the kitchen
[Btd, pen, snorgs] I'm still waiting for them to go down in price.
[pen] Sounds as though your PC is in your kitchen. Not so unusual really. I have a kitchen-cum-diner-cum-office, which rather places me in the centre of ground floor activity; fine if I'm home alone. It does lend itself to easy raiding of fridge, though.
gone digin'
This one was on special offer - I think because it is a 'classic fm' model and has a button to get you straight to there. I do not like classic fm very much so that button will (mostly) remain unused. Its the other channels I'm enjoying - BBC radios 6 and 7 are top of my list at the moment. 6 'cos it has interesting music and 7 because of the archived comedies including ISIHAC. And it has a pretty blue screen too.
writing in stereo
I bought a new stereo in september. When I was looking around I wanted a CD player, tape and digital radio combo, preferably in a mini hi-fi system with good speakers. However such a device is not made 9which seems a bit daft to me). Grrrr. So I just bought the stereo and will wait for a digi-radio to get cheaper. My bro has one though, so I might pinch it when he's not looking (in the evil-little sister way of doing things!).
cheapskate, me? The 7th Earl of Lancaster?
[Btd]The one I saw at Boots was £99, so how much is the Classic FM model? Is that the one at WH Smiths?
Yup - reduced to £71.
That was me by the way.
Personally I'd want a hi-fi separate digiradio, cos although these retro-style portables are all well and good I don't understand why you would want a high-quality, distortion-free digital signal piped through a three-inch speaker.
rab] This one has line out on the back (I checked before buying) - so I can (and will) use it with my seperates. And the speaker isn't bad at all!
random question
What countries are we all from on this place? I sometimes detect language/ideas from the other side of the pond, and I find it all very interesting.
countries
USA. Although I try to use the British spelling when I think about it.
Why, I'm in London. Where are you, ZK?
UK - Statford-upon-Avon.
[Bm] Kicking about a messy student flat in Birmingham :)
Kicking a dog about in a messy house in Bucks!
UK also..Birmingham also..Sutton Coldfield exactly
Oh, Angus...
[AP] (ignoring the obvious rspca-needing overtones) You just told me it wasn't that bad! :)
Kicking about in a small, scruffy semi in Herts. [Angus - where are you in Bucks? I'm just 500 yards from the county line, sheriff]
[Chalky] It's a laptop on the kitchen table. Very handy for grilling sausages while I surf, although there's never anything interesting left in my fridge. Sometimes I take the laptop upstairs to watch DVDs in bed :o)
Multi-tasking
[Pen] Does that mean that it is used as an electric frying pan cum hot water bottle? How often do you need to wash the bedding?
[Dujon] It only really needs doing if I fry fish.
Luxury
When I was small, I read a book in which a character declared that mangos should always be eaten in the bath, because of the mess. For years, eating mangos in the bath has been my idea of utter decadent pleasure. But I have since revised this to watching DVDs in bed on a laptop, which I now do frequently and with enormous satisfaction.
Eeek!
[Pen] *Urrgh!* ... ;-) [Pen & Breadmaster] Without mentioning names, there are some who frequent this web site who worry me!
Hang on, officer
Not those kinds of DVDs. Dear me...
thereabouts
I'm in Cardiff - which has finally got rather cold..
Pretty chilly in Mancatraz this morning too.

Got a delightful letter from my Grandma this weekend. My favourite comment was "The things that go on in the Villages. I could write a book about it, but they'd have to bin it.". I presume she meant that it would have to be binned because of the scandalous content, but with that combined with her rather free-form jazz writing style, there could be a Booker Prize in her...

Narrrch here, in the flatlands north east of London. Cold and sunny today.
CD DVDs?
[Dujon] Lord no, not those kinds of DVDs! The ones I can remember watching in bed are the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...and it's generally when I get 'flu, which isn't very often at all.
The NW London 'burbs are very bright and sunny. At 11.30GMT, my car is still thoroughly frosted over.
Icy here. The water inside the chicken coop froze last night. Poor chooks.
Is there a dress code for tonight? May I suggest Inuit?
[Bob] Bring your own igloo party? As long we can speak in English this week...
Cold?
It's -10 C here in balmy Pittsburgh, after Friday's 8-10 inches of thick, wet snow. Woo-hoo!
brr..
As my damn 'puters still doolally, I probably won't be there again.. :( I'll take a hammer to it tonight and try to threaten into submission, we'll see how that goes!
Geographically speaking...
Currently lurking in the Essex suburbs, to answer the earlier enquiry...
Location, Location, Location
[ZK] Portland, Oregon USA now, but formerly of various parts of the UK, and originally growing up in the fine Surrey outpost of Ilkley, W. Yorks.
random things one knows
Alan Titchmarsh grew up in Ilkley. Fact. Is Oregon east or west?
Orientation
[ZK] Of what?
[Location] Currently, just in Bucks (by about 300 yards from Beds) Very close to the Herts border, too - in fact, I drive through all 3 counties to get to work.
[Watty] Well that's a coincidence. I was born in Chorleywood, which happens to be on the Herts/Bucks border: I was born on the Herts side, by a couple of hundred yards. (A road actually runs along the border, and is appropriately called "Shire Lane" - the odd-numbered houses are Herts, the even numbers are Bucks. Or it may be the other way around.) Not so near to Berks or Beds, though.

Whereas, having gone to school in darkest mid-Somerset, now I live in Manchester...

The Titchy One
[ZK] Indeed he did - he's a patron of the theatre where I did some acting when I was growing up, and where my sisters still do.

Oregon is west coast. It's the state between California and Washington (Washington state being a completely different place from Washington DC, of course).

more interuptions
This has taken a bit longer than needed and its still not right I'm not happy about the table layout, the colours, border but finally, with my apologies for the late arrival, Dec 5 and Chalky has topped the Celebrity MC League.

At least I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago about style sheets, attributes, values and syntax, but I still need to do boxes and margins.

Oooh... nice!
[Inkspot] Nice table. I'm hanging onto Jonny Wilkinson for now ;o) even though he's gone down in value. Hoping that there'll be more about him in the papers after today's victory parade.
top chocolate
Well done Inkspot. I'm growing rather fond of my four green Mars Bars :-)
Cresdaq
How did everyone join that?
Joining Fees
[ZK] If you are interested in silly games, join up on the BBC web site, get sorted with registration and, if you ask nicely and advise your player name and number, Inkspot just might add you to the 'team'.
Where?
Sorry - it would help if I gave you an address:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/celebdaq/trade.cgi?registershow=1

Celebdaq tables
[Inkspot] Unless you are deriving some pleasure out of composing your own table, why not use a screen capture program? I hope that I am not being rude, as I do appreciate your time and trouble spent on this 'game'.
If you are interested, there is a freeware programme available at This site
An example of its output can be seen here.
That, by the way, is my one and only attempt so I'm sure it could be improved.
Hmmm
Then again, it's a bit big. I'll take that back. ... :-(
speak up!
Is anyone going to say anything today?
[pen] Still in shock from last night...
[rab] I should imagine you're exhausted . .
?
So will anyone admit what went on? It's very mysterious...
mystery
[snorgle] rab rode a bicycle around the chatroom (which relocated to an igloo last night) for about two hours. Nothing remarkable about that, you might think, until you realise the saddle was made of ice. I think he might also be suffering from being in the company of Lib in a mackerel-skin basque, Chalky in Lycra and me in a seal-skin bikini. That's a lot to take in. ;o)
We also had a visitation from a nude Jade Goody. Least said, soonest mended.
oooh rab - your SO SWEEEEET!!!! I fort youd say summink NHAAHAHAHHH!
Am I dreaming?
That was NOT me... I know I'm responsible for a lot of weird stuff in the chatroom on a Monday night, but I wouldn't dream of inviting Jade Goody on here... honest. Naaahahahahhahh!
This places Chalky firmly in the frame...
What's happened to Mr Wildpants' Mornington Crescent site? I've lost Puckoon to the ether...
A Death in the Family
[Mr T] Sadly, Pants MC went the way of all flesh a couple of months ago. The Lock Cup has been transferred to the new Lockisseum site, but players of other games have been finding a warm welcome here and at the other MC sites which remain.
Igloo pilg
Damn - had to miss it because of deadlines and computer problems. It sounds like it was a classic. Will the transcripts go up on Orange?
And welcome Mr T. All you need is here.
oooh missus
[Bob] I'm afraid the link to the transcript is already there. *blushes*
Hello Mr Trebus :-)
exciting happenins
My computer is being mended again - but I'm getting a new one for xmas, a nice shiny new computer with dvd re-writer and flashing lights(maybe)! Yay!
Speaking of the late Pants MC....
Does anyone know if Rosie is posting anywhere these days, following his little flounce-out of here a little while back?
Hello Bigsmith
Dujon may know a little more. Yes, a petulant flounce is certainly what it was. Seems we weren't quite good enough for him :-)
Yeah.
Does anyone know what all that was about? I'm all for constructive criticism, but I thought his exit comment was rather uncalled for.
[rab] I was rather hoping it was a misdirected moment of madness in the wee small hours after one pint too many, so was waiting for some form of apology or even explanation. I agree that the comment was crass and puerile; as for what lay behind it, one can only surmise that, as a mature adult, Rosie had his reasons. A dignified exit would have, at least, demonstrated a modicum of respect for you, the host.
rab] I thought some arsehole had posted using his name.
[Bob] Me too, which is why I didn't think too much of it at the time.
Time out on rugby ball
Oh sh*t. You know I was chatting about my fabbo date planned for tonight with the rugby coach? Well it's off. His grandfather 'died this morning'. It's either a big lie to get rid of me, or his grandfather did it deliberately to f*ck up any chance I had of graduating out of my enforced spinsterhood. Either way, I'm taking it personally. *reaches out blindly for proffered hankie from sympathetic MC-fivers*
a clean handkerchief
[pen] Aw! And I was just about to post a 'break a leg/wing bone/bottle of bubbly' sort of message to you because I'd remembered that tonight was supposed to be the night. Intending no disrespect to his grandfather who may/may not have passed on today/recently/ages ago, it's probably for the best. You know what they say about men who talk about themselves all the time ....
and a box of choccys.
pen] Either he has no imagination or he is telling the truth. Either way you win!
*sniff*
Thanks you two. I'm going to spend the evening in a Bridget Jones way, wrapping Christmas presents to within an inch of their lives and painting my toenails.
Reason I asked
I too thought Rosie's last entry totally out of character and probably bogus. However time has passed with no further sightings, and I was curious that's all. Miss the old buffer truth be told.
Penelope's night in
Watching DVDs in bed seems a popular choice for a night in these days. I have a quiet night in for once myself tonight which I shall spend with my nose in a book - wading through George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman papers for the umpteenth time. Fantastic stuff.
pondering
Rosie was great! It isn't that bad here, so maybe it was the loss of a particular game that upset him?
It isn't bad at all
It seems that he is missed. I hope he gets to know.
Colin Firth around the corner
[Penelope] It seems to me that this chap can't have been of good genetic stock, given his grandfather's propensity to die at socially inconvenient moments. A night in with your toenails sounds far more enjoyable. If it's any consolation, I have to spend tonight in with the Venerable Bede, who is not the best company.
mine's the one with the faux fur around the neck..
[BM]The dead rarely are. They often smell, for a start.
feeling sorry all round
[pen] I think the word 'arse' sums up things. Hope the DVDs hit the spot. [all] I'm feeling very sorry for myself today. Hangover. Seemed a good idea at the time. Hows everyone else today?
[pen] Tsk. [lib] A little tipsy, after preparing for a 2pm meeting with a couple of pints during lunch, and looking forward to seeing Johnny Vegas in Liverpool this evening. I hope to be hungover tomorrow, saturday and/or sunday, though, at which juncture I shall feel your pain.
Feelings
[Lib] Very well, thank you, although I can't figure out why I'm so tired today. I fear I may be battling a bug of some kind, my wife having had a sore throat for a few days now. With any luck a nice vigorous run this morning will shake the various bits of phlegm loose.
[pen] *hug* Sorry about that, chuck.
All hugs welcomed but....
[Dunx] Thanks.. but maybe you should just keep your distance until you get over your bug! (I've already kept off one lurgy from my Kiwi flatmate this week). BTW, a rib-splitting belly-laughing session has just done wonders for shifting the phlegm from my tubes this afternoon. My colleague has discovered my weakness for anyone doing impressions of Jim Royle's 'ha-HA' laugh and now my ribs ache. :o)
Santa Ted
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, he's back!
And this time it's not even accidental. Must remember to take him down at the end of the festive period.
Poo, lots of it.
Hmmm, I wonder who chewed that hole in the carpet.....
If that's a reference to Christmas Ted, then I would suggest your browser is to blame.
missing persons
[Boolbar] Ah - so Poo Puppy is responsible for keeping you away from the Crescent?
relief road
phew - the traffic has started moving again in the Limerick game..
One down, three to go
The first of my attempts to avoid the prospect of unemployment next year has been put into action. Won't hear the outcome til May though...
[Chalky] Is that a reference to Boolbar's poo post?!
[Darren] oh dear, yes - the juxtapositioning is rather questionable :-)
Be vewy vewy quiet....
[rab] Is it grant season already?
[DrQ] Oh yes indeedy.
Academia
How does that work? Does lack of grant mean loss of tenure, or does lack of grant mean that work to gain tenure cannot be undertaken (unless independently funded)? Sorry if the question seems imbecilic but I have no knowledge of how it all dovetails.
Foo!
I dunno how it goes on the Eastside of the Atlantic, but over here profs apply for only-God-and-her-secretary-knows-how-many grants, out of which they pay their postdocs/grad students/other staff, as well as equipment costs, and *cough*40% university overhead. Around here, if you want to get a tenure-track professorship, you pretty much need to have grants in tow.
[DrQ] That's pretty much what happens over here as well. Except that we don't have tenure any more, so even when you have a job, you still have to run as fast as you can to keep it. Especially if you're in a 4-desperate-to-be-a-5 rated department.
hang on
Rosie's back!
The house at poo corner
[Chalky] Indeed. The puppy (Frodo) is delightful but he also needs a lot of attention. Plus the ongoing mouse in the roof situation and the leeking outside loo means I shouldn't be here now.
cupboard love
[Boolbar] Where are you? Hiding in the cupboard under the stairs until those problems are sorted out by someone else?
(again)
I'd just like to say that I've found the perfect combination of undergarments for inclement weather whilst walking and exhibition-visiting in town. A long-sleeved thermal vest plus a long sleeved shirt will keep you warm but not bulk you out. Can I also recommend the '100 Years of the Art Fund' exhibition at the Hayward Gallery.? Bloody excellent. And now I'm going to bed for some well-earned sleep. See you all Monday night in the chatroom when I will tell you how my new member of staff got on during his first day with me as his boss! :o)
(and no, I'm not pissed, but I hope to be tomorrow)
A weekend away and I return to find that penelope's well insulated for the weather and likely to be pissed by now (11.50GMT), Frodo puppy is as demanding as he is appealing and it's grant season in academia - so the only contribution I can make is, yes I had a wicked time and can we do something Christmassy tomorrow night, like Santa's Toy Factory in Lapland, or something like ....?
Lapland and frigidity
It's 'funny' at this time of year to read the various comments about the cold weather. ... :-)
I'm sitting here in my workshop in a light short-sleeved top with a coolish - for this time of year - day outside. It's about 23°C at the moment (11:57Z) and one of flerdle's eight legged friends is sitting on the Holland blind a couple of feet away from me. Sorry, I don't have a digital camera otherwise I'd take a pic for you. He's a Huntsman, which generally have a much larger body size than the Wolf Spider which flerdle displayed a while ago. No doubt he's having a nap, being daytime, and only occasionally moves his legs around.
Should I get the chance tomorrow morning I shall attempt to join you in the chat room of MCiOS, but having work to do it may not be possible.
toasty
I'm just back from Melbourne, Sydney and Cairns (well, Atherton Tablelands, actually) where it was occasionally stormy but nice, beautiful, and stinking hot respectively. It is rather warm here but not too bad, all things considered.

Having missed it for the last couple of weeks, I'm afraid I probably won't make it to the MCiOS chatroom this Monday night either as I have to fly to Newcastle (near Sydney) for work. Plus I'm just knackered. *groans*

mints
I'll try to make it..my computer is sort of working, and I should manage it. Is 8pm too early?
pilght
I'd love to pilg tonight as I had so much fun prancing around in my mackerel skin bikini last week, but I've got a problem. Can anyone help? What it is, is there's a big content filter here (where I live and work and have my only net connection), so Shhhh, don't tell anyone I access (as I've not asked but am sure if I do then will be told its not allowed). Anyway. The chatroom doesn't work. The clock on MCiOS functions (so I think I have flash 6) and the chatroom page loads and tells me nicely to type my name 'here' and then press connect, but it refuses to connect. I've tried clicking on it many ways (including whilst doing a handstand, which quite frankly just looked silly!) but can't figure it out. Any bright ideas? Please?!?!
light
[Lib] You might be better off asking Dan at MCiOS since he's the one who understands how the chatroom works. My guess is that the communication between your computer and the chat server is done using a "port" (which is a bit like a particular telephone extension on a switchboard) that the hospital doesn't want you to have access to and there ain't much you can do about that.
blight
My work computer doesn't like the chatroom either - I'm not going to complain as I get to use the internet as much as I like, otherwise..
new game ideas
Now that the crossword chat has crept into the crypt ... I would love to play an Imposters game of some sort.
Impostulating
How about murder in the dark imposters. Correctly guess the identity of other players for points. And what do points mean..?
points mean
Piccalili?
Tonight
It looks like I may not make it to the chatroom tonight, on account of entertaining a visitor to our department. On the other hand, that may well not go on too late, so I might make a late entrance if I take my laptop with me.
re: Tonight
[rab] You mean someone *willingly* went to Manchester? *ducks* Then again, one could make the same claim for Pittsburgh and its 16" of snow the past two weeks....
Belatedly
PRIZES!! sorry
Impostors Crescent - the return?
Well, if anybody wants to play over on Mornington Crescent in Outer Space, you'll see that somebody has started an Impostors Game there - with a twist. The more players, the merrier, and let's see how it develops...
Oh goody ... how about Good News/Bad News ... here?
oops
It seems to have happened :-)
Impostors
How does this imposters crescent thing work?
Imposing
[ZK] You pretend to be someone else, and play the entire game in character as that person. (Hint: browse the archives!). You display your imposted moniker using a '!' sign in front. I'm afraid this is a geeky thing: '!' means 'not' in C and related computer languages. Oh, and the game's at MCiOS in case you were unaware.
Andanovverthing
Usually once the game has ended, the unmasking begins. I think I've worked one of them out already!
Groovy
Sounds like fun to me! However, must go and clean out fridge. Less fun but entirely necessary.
It's not that bad....
[Dr Q] You should visit Manchester, it's not half as bad as rab makes out. Maybe we should have a mini-plig here......
Mini-plig
Maybe when Nik comes out of his coma and JLE has finished his piano practice, this could be arranged...
I've been wondering about a Super Pilg. Format - our very own ISIHAC. MCers are warned of the games and prepare in advance. We'd probably have to stay up late so a hotel venue would be best. Any takers?
A nod to Bob
[Bob] Thought I'd best acknowledge your wonderings, particularly as they incorporate the words 'staying up late', 'hotel venue' and end in 'Any takers?' - not a question one would wish to leave hanging overnight :-)
Obviously the whole shebang would be recorded, or even filmed, and in the true tradition of the travelling ISIHAC which has torn itself away from its London roots, perhaps somewhere central to all participants, say ... the West Midlands?
Freelance MC
Sounds a fab idea - and if I were able to attend could offer my services as cameraperson and/or video editor, although I've not any decent sound recording equipment.
100
Should anyone fancy a go, I've posted a cryptic film quiz that has turned up in the office. There are gaps which stumped us.
[Inky] Is part of the test of the quiz to find it?!?! Or am I being daft? [BtD] A super-pilg would be fantastic. Let's do it!
Lights come on!
[Inky] I've Found it!
Did I forget something?
Oh yes I put it in 'Obscure vault 99 '
Coma? What coma? I'm fine. Honest (note: I'm not fine).
ISIHAC pilg
Ok seems like that ones a goer. Wishlist for venue:
Real Ales(?) or decent beer at least
Overnight accomodation for those wishing to stay
Not too expensive
Centrally based - Perhaps Oxfordshire?
Room to use as venue for parlour games - preferably with piano (is someone prepared to take the place of Colin Sell? Projoy?)
Any suggestions?
Organisational wishlist:
I'd love to help prepare the programme, but who will compare? rab?
Camerawork - blamelewis (excellent) And we'd need at least 8 regular players (and their spouces, friends, relatives, animals etc). + piano player...
As for timing, how does a weekend in May sound? We should have time to plan, hotels will be cheap, weather not too bad...
Did somebody say piano player?
Ooh
If I'm not tied down by those meddling exams I'd love to come along...if not, circulate tapes!
... and I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't've been for you meddling exams!
Oh look, it's the only other human we've seen all episode
That was where I was going with it :)
Crescent celebdaq
Can I join?
Mr Piano
JLE are you a pianist? If so would you be interested in a diverting evening of entertainment playing parlour games?
Wild night
How does THIS look as a potential venue?
Comparison
Not sure I have the necessary wit, charm or smuttiness to be a viable compere.
[Bob] Well, I'd say I was a pianist, if no less than six qualifications of various different types from music colleges and still an inability to get a steady job means anything of the sort...
Noteworthy
JLE] Fantastic - and a willing participant?
rab] I beg to differ.
Spank
I'd need a script.
more players
ZK] Visit Celebdaq towers to create a player profile and buy some shares. Come back here and post your player ID No and I will add you straight away. For my sins I have two accounts in the league as does Uncle Korky. I'm still not sure how blamelewis has managed to grab the No1 shot at the moment but there will tears before bedtime after the divis are paid out on Friday!
[BtD] I see a plan forming. Thos might be willing to help work on a script of some sort (if we could cope with all those puns!). And the proposed venue is acceptable to me.
A Thos script would be superb. The St George is OK but only has 8 rooms (Mostly double and en-suite) cost £70 per room B&B. There are other B&Bs within walking distance of the pub. I've been ringing some contacts at the BBC and I may have secured a guest appearance by the one and only Samantha. I assume she would be available to tot-up the teams’ points.
Would love to do it, but depends very much on the cost.
celebdaq
am already registered, but haven't looked for aaaages...*goes to find number*...3058974.
oh_danny_boy
ZK] You are in and added to the league, I hope you will enjoy the friendly competition ;)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Fabbo! Thanks!
Returning from bbc.co.uk
Wahey! I already suck! This'll be fun!
ISIHA?
JLE] Thanks.
Lib] Can you ask Thos if he'd be able to do some scripting?
all] I think that £70 per room is probably too expensive. Plus the getting to the venue. If I could find somewhere for about £30 B&B, how many would like to participate? As I said, we'd need about 8 definites to make it worthwhile. So far:
Btd
Lib
ZK (as long as no exam conflict)
blamelewis (I assume yes)
JLE (As long as not too pricey)
maybe...
[BtD] I don't know where Thos hides, but Projoy does, so maybe if he's reading this he could ask him. Thanks Projoy. And I have to say that I'm really not that witty. Early in May would probably be better for me (as already have work, choir, hen night and wedding to schedule around!)
'I like driving in my car'
[JLE] I'll most likely be driving down to the super-pilg from Manchester(ish), so you could have a lift (to make it a bit easier on the pocket).
I would echo "not too priciness" comments.
[Lib] Lovely, as I'll be going from Manchester. The only trouble would be getting back afterwards, assuming the usual amount of Pilgrimage alcohol-consumption... unless you happen to be the one and only teetotal person in the world of MC. ;-)
Alcoholiday
JLE/Lib] If you can afford to B&B it, then you have at least one night to recover.
Seeing as rab is also from Manchester, is there room for further car sharing?
rabbiting
[BtD/rab] rab can have a lift too, provided we're still talking at that point! And if Nik, the other near-Manchester crescenter (that I know of) wanted to join our car-party then he'd be welcome too. We could have a very long game in the car to extend the pleasure! Whee! [JLE] I'd rather B&B it to facititate alcohol consumption, if it fits in with your buget.
Frolicing in May
I've just cross posted the idea onto Orange and MCiOS. Lets see what happens ...
seasons bleatings
May I just say, there are some truly revolting Christmas card illustrations out there? I just unearthed a pack of 50 hideous ones. OH well, they came out at 5c each...
Unconventional
[Lib, rab, Btd] This sounds more like a "convention" than a pilg. Although I suppose I should avoid that dread word, rendered frightening by SciFi fans. Thos hasn't been hanging around lately, so I've popped him an email. It sounds like the kind of thing I'd enjoy, tho, so put me down as a willing participant. If JLE's on the ivories, perhaps I could turn his pages or play the swannee.
If singing is required, I can also sing reasonably well in tune, but would need to be provided with *both* music *and* words, as I know remarkably little music that is less than a hundred years old.
(This is just in case we end up doing One Song To The Tune Of Another. My voice, by the way, is a fairly high tenor, as those who have met me in Pilgrimages can attest. I've sung lead tenor in a barbershop quartet before.)
Conventionality
How very flattering to be remembered! I would of course be delighted to contribute in any way thought useful - and though there are many, many funnier people round these 'ere parts, and several script writers amongst us, I would be exceedingly happy to provide/contribute to/collaborate on scripts. I would just need a brief and a spot of notice! *Thos bows*
seasons bleatings
[flerdle] Feel free! I have in fact been telling anyone who'll listen about this cultural epidemic I have lovingly termed "Ugly Jesus". This Christ bloke (apparently some kind of child star in his day) has made a startling comeback this year in cribs, nativity scenes, christmas cards and so on, about which of course I am thrilled, were it not for the fact that he tends to be portrayed as anything from rather gangly to positively misshapen, and every so often poor Mary makes it look genetic. Send me your sightings of Ugly Jesus - you'll notice it's true!
Interesting fact. Well, interestingish.
There was a tradition in ancient times that Jesus was ugly. I think that this came not from any genuine historical fact but from Isaiah 53, which the Christians believed was about Jesus, and which describes the "suffering servant" as not beautiful to look at.
There is also an apocryphal book called the Acts of Paul, which describes Paul as a short, bald hunchback with a single furry eyebrow like a big caterpillar. However, these were considered signs of beauty in ancient times, so they are probably not historical either - apart from the baldness.
in tune
[JLE] Personally, I think singing in tune is probably a disadvantage.
Re: in tune
[Projoy] Quite right -- Jeremy Hardy gets the biggest round of applause in 1S2TTOA....
Intonation
(Dr Q) That's because his singing is so magnificently awful. The worst thing would be just a little out of tune. Garden and Cryer are both really good singers, especially boozy Barry.
Singing
I can't remember who it was who did Mr Boombastic by Shaggy (I think it was Garden) but it was absolutely superb.
Hardy - a laughing matter
All] I am planning to have one song to the tune of another. Projoy & Thos - you are very welcome to contribute and play (email me - my details are on the Orange pilg board).
It looks as if it is going to be a lot of fun! I nearly gave Samantha the job of preparing the briefs, but have decided to handle them myself. This will be done by New Year. Dunx is helping out with parts of the script and I've also had offers from I Say Porter. This works out well because both are abroad and can't attend (although Dunx has suggested a live phone session - is this a technical possibility blamelewis?) LotUS and Herr Bratche are also keen to attend and help.

Does anyone have a supply of Swannee Whistles and Kazoos?
Musical Instruments
It shouldn't be too difficult to fashion a Swanee Whistle out of a bicycle pump and a descant recorder mouthpiece though the pump might need to be sacrificed. A Kazoo is a comb with a bit of thin paper stuck to it.
technicalities
You'll get plastic kazoos and quite possibly swanees in most tacky gift shops :) Phone sesh: I believe you can buy a mic to fit to a phone to amplify what the person on the other end is saying, but I'm really not all that confident with sound stuff - a lot depends on numbers and size of room - if it's fairly small scale then a phone with speakerphone and everyone else keeping quiet might do it, if it's pretty big then you're into PA's and so on - none of it impossible but it begins to need careful planning and cost money!
The critical info for me is really just the details of when and where... Date, location and cost of staying will determine if I can make it - I'll try my damndest! Assuming I can then I reckon we should find out what sort of size the place is and what sort of equipment the venue has, or can accomodate. In terms of video recording and sound:
Camera: Mine (miniDV camcorder) - and if we have 2 or 3 other attendees willing to lend theirs we could record fixed close ups of team a, team b and "humph" with the option of a fourth camera doing a wider angle and audience reaction shots, piano cutaways etc etc... The venues lighting will be a consideration especially as my camera is a consumer model and therefore not too good under anything other than bright lights
Sound: for that I reckon if we have Bob the Dog's 4 track and mics for team a, team b, "humph" and the piano.
My thinking is based on the assumption that it's primarily a live show for an audience, with two teams, a chairperson and a pianist. We want to perform it live and only use retakes if absolutely necessary. I'd be interested to hear from anyone who's attended a recording of ISIHAC about how the day ran in technical terms - if they recorded items out of sequence or with breaks in the recording... My email is blamelewis at yahoo dot co dot uk. In terms of operators for all that technology it could be done on a minimum of two (1 sound and 1 camera) but the more the merrier...
Singing in the pain
I belong to the Jeremy Hardy school of singing.
Exactly
Blame] I've been lucky enough to go to a recording and I suggest we follow exactly the same format. At a particular venue, two shows for two consecutive weeks are recorded. They are recorded with a break in the middle which acts as refreshment time. I suggest that we have a Humph and four players for the first half followed by a beer break then a different four players for the second half. If we get more interest, we could get a second Humph (It'd be nice to ring the changes and offer the seat to more than one person). I've already had enough MCers showing interest to guarantee at least nine attendees, and if we get more (and I think we will) - we either have a bigger audience or will have to plan for more games.
Technically the shows are recorded in one go. Obviously there are times when a line is muddled (Humph is king of this). He simply starts again and the fluff is edited.
For those who have never attended and do not wish to know some of the secrets, I will paste the rest of this message on the laser display board.The show is semi-improvised, players having prepared for questions but still happy to ad-lib. The laser display board is John Naysmith with a piece of cardboard and you never actually see Samantha.
live recs
On the occasions I've seen it recorded there are usually some drop-in retakes to do at the end as well, but we perhaps might not be quite as fussy as the Beeb.
musical instruments of the plastic variety
I'm pretty sure I can get a decent kazoo from the local music shop for about a quid, if that.
Uber-pilg
Colour me interested.
pilg
Can I ask that I only be semi-coloured interested, tinted perhaps, as I won't want to disappoint nearer the time should it turn out I can't make it.
more interuptions again
Good luck to you all going to the pilg I'm not able to get a day or weekend pass.

And in other news, blamelewis is hiding his light under a bushel, so in the time honoured fashion it gives me great pleasure to announce, he is this weeks No1 on the Celebdaq.

The Mother of all Pilgs
...and I can't get there. :(
celebdaq
oooh [Inkspot] Ta for the mention. I suck, but who knows? I may get better! :)
Celeb!
OOh - I hadn't noticed! It's all down to Michael Jackson and Liv Tyler. One of whom I idolise...
Nice things
It's all right, Lewis, they say he's a nice fellow if you dig deep enough. Now, your shout isn't it?
anglo-australian misunderstanding
Gary Packer's a poof!
Or whatever the name was...
Feeling bored
Okay, okay, so I can blame insomnia and lack of common sense for my feeling deserted at this time of night I suppose but where have all the other late-nighters got to?
Late night?
[ZK] It's only 8 PM local time here :)
forgetting international time-difs
Ah yes of course. currently 1.11 am. Am often up far later, which is why I'm so grateful for the game's wide appeal :)
Silent Night
Bit quiet here today? If anyone's epilging tonight I probably won't make it as I think my house is doing Christmas drinks.
The Missing E-Pilgrim....oh, here it is!
I'm in right now.
[Dr Q] I would be, but I need to concentrate on writing this document.
[Dunx] I've taken the liberty of doing that for you.

(Actually, that was done in xfig using splines. Sad to say that's infinitely neater than my actual handwriting.)
[Cross-post] I'm away from today (23/12/2003) until I don't know when (latest, new year's eve). This means that if anything should happen to angrycake.com, I won't be around to resurrect it, and so MC^5 will be down. With any luck, it'll all be fine and dandy, but if it's not, be forewarned.
Just checking ;-)
Still working...
Do you need me at all?
Merry, Merry, Quite Contrary
If I don't get to post before - have a Happy Christmas / midwinter non-culture specific break.
reciprocating
... and you, rabsome one. xxxx
Hurrah!
Christmas cheer all, may your presents be unwoolly and jumperish (or if they are may you have wanted them to be), may your surroundings be loving, may your company be cheerful and may your crackers bring forth crap jokes. xxx
Festivites
Given that it's only just over twelve hours to Christmas Day in my neck of the woods I offer my warmest wishes for Christmas and the New Year to all who read this. I shall think of those of you in cooler climes as I sit back tomorrow in shorts and lightweight top, sipping on something cool, whilst the King Parrots and various versions of Lorikeets dazzle my eyes as they execute precision fly pasts.

Merry Christmas!

bah (sheep?) humbug and other such noises
I'm working all the way through the fun n laughter. Does the NHS ever sleep I wonder?????
[widey] Not in my experience.
lunchtime requests
Can we have an imposters thread? It looks like fun!
Yuletide greetings to all!
At work!!
Merry Xmas to all, particularly those like me who have to go into work.
More holiday cheer
May I wish a pre-emptive Happy Boxing Day to all, and if you're Antipodean, enjoy the tests (despite the NZ-Pak test being delayed for bad light after just 3 overs. Feh!)
testing time
It is Boxing Day here now, stinking hot as usual (11:30am, 34C, 50% humidity)so we're staying in the two airconditioned rooms in the house and playing with new toys. Yesterday was a scorcher too, and the city was completely deserted. It took three hours to finish lunch with relatives and we all just lolled around under the fans until night fell and it was time for a spot of backyard cricket, and then on to the next party. Strangely enough, I didn't feel like having breakfast this morning...
I know you don't really want to know this, but later on...............
I'm going to get very very drunk, which is nice!Happy day of boxing one and all.
Outrageous
Poor Plump! What do you do? I was scheduled to work nights over Christmas, but luckily weaselled out of it - won't be so lucky at New Year though...
Happy Holidays. Oh Yes.
Hmm. I can't wait for work again on Jan 5th. :o(
work
[Breadmaster] I work for BT and yes you've guessed I am in work this weekend as well.
Work?
I, too, am at work, after a freak brownout took out our webserver and several other machines. Feh!
Oh sweet merciful heaven
The voting public have just named Grease the greatest musical of all time. I have lost the last lingering thread of my hope for this country....
Of all time???
Surely you jest!
I jest ye not!!! It beat the sound of music to number one!
And Cats, Joseph, Les Mis, Chorus Line, Top Hat, the Wizard of Oz...I could go on, but it's just too depressing...
TOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Now, I'm no musical buff...but how does Grease rank above Tommy and Phantom?
It doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My theory is, that it wasn't intentional voting. You see, on these channel 4 polls you can vote for up to 10 of the things on the list. Now, what I'll do on these polls (I didn't know about this one) is vote for the ones I like and if those run out I'll then vote for the ones I've seen and thought were okay. I bet that about 40% of Grease's votes were fom proper fans and that the rest came from these 'leftover' votes of people going "ooh, I liked Grease, I guess that deserves a vote" and the witless ba*ds made it number one!!! I wonder how many people voting for it to do well meant to vote it into that position! You should have heard the screaming in our living room when Sound of Music came up as number two - cos we knew what the only two choices were by then!!
trouble right here in River City...
Are we talking movie or stage here?
A nation [or those that be bothered to vote] decides
My all-time favourite, West Side Story, came fourth, but I have to agree that overall the results indicate some bizarre opinions on what constitutes a 'musical'.
Ta, Chalky
West Side Story - magnificent. Porgy and Bess at No. 77! Sacrilege.
Well, it's a fun and eclectic list, and I'm happy to have Grease in the top 100. But the order is a bit whacky, and given what is on there, I miss The Music Man and Into the Woods (but am tickled to find Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bugsy Malone). Probably from the Big Read voters, or the folks at IMDB who would have us believe that Finding Nemo is a better movie than Notorious, Manhattan, The Bicycle Thief or The Graduate...
Durrrr
Well, I have never seen The Sound of Music, West Side Story, or Porgy and Bess, and I liked Grease. Lucky I don't vote in TV polls, really, isn't it?
Grease fans are entitled to their vote but I still don't believe it's the greatest musical ever! [Toby] Both. The oddest thing is that she said two hundred thousand people voted. Oh, I guess that really reflects the opinions of the 5 million strong public, doesn't it? I say that channel 4 never advertises these things properly - always the programmes, but never the votes. I didn't find out about it until the poll was closed. Even this "Musicality" competition they were advertising after it closes on January the 7th - it's the first i've heard of it. Come on, channel 4, put yourself about more!
putting it about
[ZK] I guess Channel 4 were relying on the sponsors, The Daily Mail, to promote and encourage voting, which to be fair, the newspaper did with considerable gusto back in the Autumn. Trouble is, many of our select community are too sniffy to read the aforementioned rag.
the daily mail
or skint....
Breadmaster
I for one am more horrified that Breadmaster has never seen The Sound of Music. How is this possible?
Musicality
Ha! Next he'll be claiming he's never dressed up in fishnets and sung I'm just a sweet transvestite!
Well, just call me uncultured. I'm tone deaf and I don't like musicals, although whether these two things have anything to do with each other is a moot point. I have therefore never sung I'm just a sweet transvestite, but I decline to comment on anything else.
Question?
Question?
Oops.....At what number was Guys n dolls?
G & D
No 36, Widey. Next time you can go find it yourself ... ;-)
Attention, Rosie.
Answering your question in the limerick game - rather than clutter up the thing.
mallee is a low growing eucalypt. There is an area in (I think) N.W. Victoria where these are endemic and which is known as 'The Mallee'.
Standing to attention
OK, Duj - thanks. Nice pong, eucalyptus, probably due to isopropyl and tert-butyl groups attached to an aromatic ring. Better than the assortment of sulphur compounds my aromatic ring tends to produce.
Peg-on-nose
[Rosie] Eee, by gum, lad! The oil of the eucalypt is used for many a 'good' thing; whether or not sulphuric substances fall into any of those catagories is food for thought, though it is oft used as a balm. ;-)
Hrmmph
Catagories s/b categories. .... sorry - brain fade - again.
100 Best Musicals
This passed me by completely -- you see what you miss if you don't stay alert? -- and it turns out to be quite an interesting list. Some predictable injustices -- Sweeney Todd at 80 vs Phantom at 20? No Follies or 42nd Street (the movie, I mean) or The Band Wagon? But it's nice to see Cabaret and West Side Story so high, and indeed (though some will scoff) Once More With Feeling and Moulin Rouge, two sterling attempts to keep the form alive and popular in the 21st century.

The bottom end of the list is probably more interesting than the mainstream top, with unexpected appearances by The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, All That Jazz, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Dancer in the Dark and so on. Was it being made into a (rarely screened) film or just having "Send in the Clowns" that got A Little Night Music onto the list? A good thing, either way. Curious that they list the 1962 film version of Gypsy but the pic and review are for the 1993 TV movie with Bette Midler.

And did anyone really vote for The Jazz Singer (#65) as the "Best Musical"? Historically important, for sure -- but best? Smells a bit fishy to me...

Intermission
Not wishing to interrupt, but I thought I'd just remind people of an impending pilgrimage on the 10th January. More here. Now, back to your usual programming...
100, er, musicals
I was just upset that Hair came in so low (below Starlight Express, for goodness' sake!). I've never seen Once More With Feeling, but the samples they gave left me distinctly unimpressed. Wasn't there a cop series (Cop Rock?) a while ago that did this kind of thing with considerably more style? I, too, missed Into the Woods, among other Sondheims, but his stage-bound nature got him there, I think.
The hills... the hills!
Incidentally, despite liking musicals a lot, I've never seen The Sound of Music either.
more musicals
These are admittedly one my least favoured forms of entertainment, but I did manage a half dazed interest in the top twenty. But I wonder how many of those made in the last 10 years will have a following in 30 years time, hopefully the mistake of Once More With Feeling will have been long forgotten.

Also congrats to blamelewis for his second week on top

What, this is still here? Criminy.
I've some ideas for the May event (provisionally entitled ISIHAC 2 (This time it's unprofessional!) and I've started using the To Be A Pilgrim message board on Orange as the main mixing desk. I've had lots more feedback over Christmas although I'm still hoping to hear from Projoy and Thos - so contact me if you want to help put it together.
contact
[BtD] Beagle-style missive sent off.
The Beagle has landed.
[Btd] Yeah, but is it talking to the mother ship?
A Happy New Year to all you fine, fluffy people. Thank you for letting me sidle in amongst you.
Bonne Annee
Happy New Year to everyone too! (Only 32 minutes before I finish..)
I'm required to leave so the table can be set up for an impending New Year Eve's party. So ... happy new year. See you tomorrow with a hangover, probably.
Happy New Year to all you fine people! Let us drink a toast to the year that has seen the sad demise of PantsMC, and remember all those who *finally sucumbs to the whirling pits and falls down*
knock knock
Happy New Year!
once more with feeling
Bleedin' 'eck, 2004 already? Seems like only yesterday it was 2003. Happy New Year!
Emergency supplies for stray chicken
[Bob] Tomorrow, it seems that I may become foster-mother to a stray chicken. It's too late to tell the full story - but what do I need to get in to make the poor mite comfortable until it's reclaimed? Straw and what ...? I've got budgie food ...
again
By the way - Happy New Year to one and all.
Chicken rescue
Happy New Year too! Chalky] What an odd way to start the new year!
Basics for chicken care - chucks eat:
Grass,
Porridge,
Cabbage, lettuce, any greens,
Grains - preferably corn and wheat - but budgie food may do in the short term,
Worms and stuff they dig up themselves,
And don't forget some water!
If this becomes a long-term thing you'll need to let her have a supply of fine grit too.
If you have a lawn and can set up a small fenced area - four bamboos and some pea netting would do - as day-time housing. An old rabbit hutch would do at night or a very big cardboard box with some chicken wire over the top. If you have sawdust in the bottom of the housing, it helps make poo-disposal easier. Longer-term, stick in a short thick branch (as thick as your fist) for Chuck to perch on at night, and some straw in a corner for it to lay on. And all the best! I'd love to know the story...
chicken run
[Bob] Thank you SO much your help. At this moment I am still awaiting news of said stray chicken. My brother was supposed to have retrieved it and delivered it to me today - but I haven't heard a word. We were at the same New Year party last night, when all this was agreed, so perhaps he partied into the early hours and has spent the day recovering. He hasn't answered his phone either :-(
OK - the story .... last Monday, the chicken announced its arrival at his house by flying kamikaze-style into his front window. After trying to ignore the poor thing for several hours they finally allowed it through their house to the back garden where it promptly positioned itself on top of their grape vine. They tried everything they could to discover its ownership including local radio announcements, etc. but with no sensible response. Anyway, after opening up a small shed for it and allowing it free range, yesterday his wife announced she couldn't cope with the 'mess' any longer and rather cruelly [in my opinion] chucked it out the front door and watched it wander up the road. A couple of hours later, guess what? It returned to begin the flinging itself against their front window again. He let it through to their back garden with a promise to her that he would find a home for it ... and that's where I come in.
Chook
I hate to suggest this, Chalky, but given your sister-in-law's outlook on life, it's probably been, er, well, you know. Just don't eat at her place for a couple of weeks, OK? ... :-(
Awwwww
What a cruel woman! I'm slightly puzzled, however, by a chicken that can fly into a window and sit on top of a grape vine. What kind of super-chicken is this? Or is it in fact a pheasant or something?
bob boc boc
Chickens can fly! Just not really well, usually. I think they can't be bothered if they're well fed.
chicken supreme
I concur with all reactions to my little horror story ... and yes, Breadmaster, they do fly, particularly if being chased or in a panic. I still haven't heard anything more, so I'm going to pop round this afternoon.
Best of cluck
Chalky] If they offer you a sandwich, beware of feathers!
snorgle] The longest recorded flight of a chicken was (apparently) 13 seconds. I'm very encouraged that the chicken could fly - it means it was not clipped and was probably kept free-range.
Amazed
Well, you learn something every day. When we had chickens they would sort of flutter up onto things like very low branches. I just can't imagine one getting up enough height and speed to crash into a window - although I can certainly imagine it getting up the requisite stupidity.
rab in eptitude shocker
Hmmm... this upgrade seems to have worked. You shouldn't notice many changes, except the tag tickler has now been installed for the benefit of Bad HTML devotees. Basically if you put some dodgy HTML in your 'stance', you get the option to 'debug' it, which basically means your HTML will be presented in a fairly easy-to-read fashion, with the grumbles flagged up as they occur. It's in its early stages - comments are welcome.

The HTML checker itself has been refined. In particular it treats quotes more sensibly (which should please Nik at least).

Oh - there's an experimental text-only theme which should kick in automatically if you use Netscape 4.7x, Lynx or Links (not been able to test Netscape). Those watching in colour can see it in action by clicking here. A nifty feature is that inline images are turned into clicky links. One day there'll be a proper link to this, and I'm hoping it might eventually form the basis of a version for mobile devices.

*has more features in pipeline, but only two days before school*

Plain theme
I like it -- now everyone with web-enabled PDAs has no excuse. :)
Plane Theme in glinks
It looks excellent in glinks (links -g) as well, so if I ever have to boot from my Damn Small Linux boot CD, it should look decent.
The chicken has landed ...
... but not sure if she'll survive the night. Will keep you posted.
chucks
Here is a link to a forum about chickens. It's quite interesting!
Henny news?
Chalky] Sounds as if she is in a bad way? :o(
Christmas Ted has gone and its not even twelfth night! Sacrilidge!
Christmas Ted
I'd only forget to take him down on Tuesday (or is it Monday?)...
Happy New Year and all that
Let's see what fine Crescenteering 2004 will bring...
Freakout
Chickens, eh? God, it all happens round at Chalky's, don't it? Happy New Year all!!
Another one comes around
[Thrax] Welcome back (again)!
chicken feed
Hello Thrax :-) Hope your visit isn't too brief.
Chicken: She seems quite subdued, but otherwise fine. Our sources inform us that she probably wandered off from her farm base [about half a mile from my brother's house], so I've telephoned and a chicken expert is coming round tomorrow to pick her up.
Oh ... thanks Bob, snorgle and everyone else who offered practical and moral support. I've learned a lot. As for the wicked sister-in-law, well ...
ISIHAC2
Apologies for x-posting. Following up the ISIHAC2 - 'This Time Its Unprofessional' pilg in May - ISP and Dunx have kindly offered to write the 'Humph' bits 'cos they can't be at the event. I already have a list of 14 MCers who want to attend or play and Projoy has very kindly agreed to be one of the 'humphs' for the evening. However, I need another. Two people now have suggested Martha Farqua. If you think you’d be good Martha, (or if anyone else has a good suggestion) please contact me. Ta!
what the...?
I deliberately didn't keep any shares in my portfolio over xmas, thinking I'd buy some fast-movers and shoot straight up the chart in the New Year - and whaddya know! Looks like all you conscientious types got kneecapped and slack tarts like me floated to the top... *cackle*.
Negativity
Enjoy it whilst it lasts e_e.:-)
The League Table has the collywobbles for some reason. e.g. I shows me with £6 and -99% wheras it should be just over £14,000 and 40-odd percent (I was kneecapped and so can tell. I think I was the only one zapped this week - although x_sugar babe_x must have come awfully close.)
Good to see you around and posting, Thrax. Are you able to stick around this time or just making a short visit?
Freakout
Much obliged, Chalkers and Doc. Hope you're well. My best wishes to all MCers at this time of year. edna, you talking Celebdaq? I tried me hand at that but failed miserably. I just don't follow Celebrity 'News' closely enough. I think I'm genetically programmed not to give a monkey's about J-Lo and Britney and Posh and Puffdaddy and Hugh Grunt and all those other deeply talented but criminally underpaid and overlooked, long-suffering, attention-starved, self-effacing, public servants who give so much and ask so little in return. Bless 'em.
Additional.
good to see you too, Dujon, old boy. I've no idea how long I'll be here, nor how often. I'll just play it by ear and see what transpires. It's good to see a few familiar faces though - or rather read some familiar names.
Felicitations
Happy new year everyone... and, just to show how long it's been since I last sat at a keyboard - I hope everyone has a merry Christmas too.
Humph!
Trying to find reasonably priced accomodation with a piano is not as easy as I'd expected. JLE - anyone - do you have an electric piano we could plug in?
by the by...disillusionment
*distraught* so...Bob...is your name not actually Bob? Now I don't know what to believe!
Oh yes, and my exam period *is* over May, so I doubt I can make it to the pilg-type-thing. Sorry! :*(
It's awful when your illusions are shattered, isn't it? Still, I'm quite good at baking, you'll be pleased to know.
My initials, sadly, are neither Z nor K. I should really go and do some work... :)
As previously discussed, I'm not even a man!
I picked up a print of Simon Patterson's The Great Bear for Christmas (see here: http://www.dareonline.org/artwork/patterson/patterson3.html), which would form the basis of a wonderfully surreal game of MC.
Sorry - still can't get the tags right for a hyperlink!
Freakout
I wouldn't panic, Korkers. I can't unfathom morethan about three HTML tags here. Even though the good Doctor Q enlightened me several months ago. I lost the list. Bummer.
Youngsters these days
UK]I like the idea, have a peek at "All Games", back in the early days of MC5 there was a game of the Great Bear unfortunately it took a while to find a map, and the link from Boolbar is still active.
Ivories
[BtD] I'm hoping to purchase an electric piano soon, but need to buy the house to put it in first!
Bobajob
ZK] Aw, and I thought you really believed I was a dog too! The likely dates are 22nd and 29th May. Will your exams over by then?
Come On Over
No, not a Shania Twain string starting, but a reminder there's an e-pilg tonight in the MCiOS chatroom. All welcome. No responsibility can be accepted etc etc
the morning after
For those who missed the MCiOS chatroom cyber pilg, you missed a corker. As my ex-wife will testify, eh Pen?
Disillusionment...
[Inkspot] Cheers! Well, another supposedly original idea bites the dust!
last night, she said...
[BobTD] *wink*
Grrr...
Missed that - was at the cinema. Was this a Britney-style union?
I definitely think a bottle of vladivar was involved...
cheering up Incle Korky
UK] Look in Orange MC - new game started yesterday :-)
Missmatchmaking
rab] Yes. I was married Las Vegas style to Pen and she divorced me within seconds. Chalky narrowly missed me on the rebound. Dr Q got hitched to a chicken, had kids and was haunted by the spirit of his undead hen bride seeking vengence for leaving him with the odd-looking kids. I hope your film was worth it...
Losing it.....
In the past week I've managed to embarrass myself in public twice. The first time I shoplifted by accident (but in the end paid for my error) and I fell asleep in the cinema last night and started making strange noises.... I think I need a therapist!
*Rejoices*
[Chalky] Wahoo!
Freakout
MC ad other ISIHaC games are the best therapy. Everyone knows that.
Apropos absolutely nothing
I had to laugh a couple of evenings ago; my good wife was leafing through some of the junk mail which had been 'posted' into the letter box since the start of the new year. Honestly, I couldn't believe it - one food based company was advertising hot cross buns!
Freakout
Better than some of the garbage the Labour party sends me through the post every Christmas. I get these lists of "useful numbers" - ie. services provided locally. It's all drugs helplines, domestic violence support groups, local police contacts, child abuse support services etc. etc. I was left thinking, "oh thanks, guys! And a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too." Never had anything like that at any previous address in which I've resided. Believe me, the first Christmas I spent here (in 2001) I wondered where the bloody hell I'd moved to. "For heaven's sake!" thought I, imagining I was in one of the safer and more stable parts of Swindon, but silly me, I had in fact failed to notice I'd moved to Harlem. Funny how one makes these little mistakes.
Eggs and chicks and fluffy things
[Duj] Wandering around Tesco at the weekend, I spotted shelves recently filled with chocolate creme eggs and ickle easter bunny things.
Chicken update: She's gone back home to the farm :-)
Freakout
Awww, I'm glad there was a heartwarming end to the chicken's adventure, Chalky. :)
Nob and nobility
Looks like Lord Hamilton's doing the rounds, so if you'll excuse me for a moment...
Edward de Bono
Normality, I think.
Latecomers
It looks as though the ball has reached some sort of lull, so there could be an opening for something new...
Headlines?
We haven't had a Daily Mail Headlines game in a while...except it'd look a lot like Mini Cheddars, tho.
Hi Q Haiku [a poor attempt at a play on words]
[DrQ] I'm up for that.
An alternative suggestion ... as both the other MC sites each have a pair of 'poetry' games - why not a Haiku game?
Hi, Coo!
I second Chalky's idea.
Gaaah!
Unfortunately, the late arrivals won't stop coming in!
Bugger!
My recent 'upgrade' seems to have killed the win-detect code. How embarrassing...
Debugger!
Should be fixed now.
Oh...
...and in the event of winning a game, it might even be possible to start a new one again now.
Shed!!
I want a big shed, at least 12'x 9'. Does such a beast exsist? I wonder? Then I could spend my days there, drinking home brew from a chipped enamel mug and view the world through rose tinted Stadium Mk 4's...........sigh........
Shedding
[Widey] I believe such a thing does exist, although it is usually described as a "house".

Seriously, though, (and this is probably not much help) the US company Tuff Shed manufacturers a bewildering variety of sheds (which they call "storage buildings"). Some very silly styles, though... 10'x30 loafing shed, anyone?

MMMmmmmmmmmmmmm (Homer Simpson style)
Sounds good to me. I shall have to check them out. As you may have gatherd folks I have no life!!.........
Hideaways
Indeed, widey. I possess one around that size myself. It's a steel construct erected on a concrete slab, so if you are looking for a rustic appearance I cannot help. Mine is about 7½ feet high, has a door (which helps) and a single window, half of which will slide to allow air into the thing, at the opposite end (covered in spider webs and their makers - both of which, by the way, are extras.)
loafing shed
[dunx] perhaps a shed for loafing in. with a pint of loafing juice? strongbow anyone? just me then.
via Watty's ipaq
Hello we're drinking.
Greetings from (left to right) rab, pen, JLE, Norma, Pip, LOtUS, Merlyn, Lib, jim, Si, Raak and Watty. (That's enough pilgrims - Ed)
at home
HELLO EVERYBODY! *hugs and mabulations* as appropriate. Can you connect to the MCiOS Chat Server?
via the gift of the internet
hello all, hope you had a good time. I had a marvelous time in Bristol. No drinking though, although Temple Meads station is a sight to behold.
Bristol
The Bristolian kids' version of the Lord's Prayer contains the line "and lead me not into Temple Meads Station", so I'm told.
Wales
I like the bit that goes "and deliver us from Ebbw vale"...
I feel a new game coming on...
.....
Our Father, who art in heaven, Holloway be thy Name.
...
There is a version of the Lord's Prayer using tube station names already in existence, and a schoolfriend's father (who was Irish) used to recite it. But that was a long, long time ago, and now I must go to Google to have a good look. I do remember one line, which happens to be the next-but-one following st d's, come to think of it;
Thy Wimbledon.
___
Is this it?
[rab] Yes! But buses? Yeeeeughhh!! Perhaps we should re-write with proper station names!
more numbers
Many thanks to Britney Spears there has been a change at the top of Celebrity Mornington Crescent is that me!
celebrity gambling
oh nuts, I've fallen again
drug testing
ZK] I was lucky with both Britney and Greg Rusedski in buying just as the shares started to rise. It looks like this week I'll have to fight off x_sugarbabe_x and evil_edna. Which reminds me the new series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here starts soon will the celebs be as famous last time . Which means not only has the league been going for nearly a year, so has this site, early felicitations rab, when was mc5 launched?
First post!
According to the database, my first move on this game was made at Thu Jan 16 21:07:52 2003, so it looks like we should have some sort of celebration on Friday.
Incidentally
Here's an example of those word-disassociation emails I keep receiving:
purcell newline scheme trudge coral lip partook poodle sportswear cartwheel blowup hid nabla scurry chicano twig perpendicular chariot locomotion alabaster granny machiavelli quizzical clod smooth mcclain bryan solve knives smithson fomalhaut repetitive gardenia bimetallism absentee swishy betsey centaur adenoma shoreline cobb atropos helmut pendulum poliomyelitis concourse purchasable calm macho cromwell ambiguous take autosuggestible

Who do I follow that?

Or, indeed, how?
dissing the diss
[rab] Have you invited the word disser to mail you, or is it just very eloquent spam? I feel perhaps there is no resonse needed as they appear to have put all their eggs in one basket but making one very long move. If you feel the need to make a move then I would recommend short but sweet, with a word like priapism.
Happy Verseday
MC5 is one this year,
This is a time to share.
To celebrate this great event,
I've gone and bought a tent.
Spam
[Lib] I think it's a device to try and get the emails through the spam filters. I had considered your move, but sadly I've just received dishwasher boletus elkhart skullduggery klein phonic alloy m's bicep puffery veneto art prepare coddle coriander manor corsage forswear haplology negroes denature exhibitor there'll blueberry bituminous sus hymn kaolin stalk dreary sorption oppressive harrisburg askance argive beresford dexterity embower ywca duplex stableman pickett barfly sophistry shoji put pursuer howl style shuddery curate porch.

I can't keep up!

Meanwhile a celebration game might be appropriate. Any ideas? Maybe a verse game??

randomly constituted spam
Mm. I think spammers are trying to get so much/many combinations of the English language blacklisted by Bayesian filters that they have to be reset or abandoned completely.
well versed
[rab] oh yes please. I liked Inky's sort of clerihew and I know there are several takers for a Haiku game. How's about a free-for-all 'Anni-Verse-Ary Game'? Those who are inclined [or like me, just enjoy showing off] can post a poem in whatever form/style they choose, beginning with the subject of your server's birthday and then leading ... well .. who knows where? Is that a flexible enough format for most?
Fire away...
Mary Hughes
Chalky] I must admit to being unable to do any form of poetry in a format, I wouldn't know who Miss Hews was if she came up and slapped my face, and as for a Haiku, why a game based on that chant thing the Kiwi's do before a game of rugby.
However I have enjoyed greatly resdaing the "He thought..." series over at Orange.
s/resdaing/reading
Imposters
I've found another place where MC is played on the net. Quite frankly it's a rather ruidementary and childlike version of the Great Game that we play, but each to their own. Its located at www.doctors.net.uk in the forum, but you have to log in to play and be a doctor to log in, so don't think a hyperlink would work to show you all the game.
playing doctors and nurses
We could pretend to be doctors?
hello nurse!
Ooh! Can I pretend to be a doctor? That'd be fun!
"I'm sorry, you've only got 3 days to live. Nah, just kidding! Haha!"
ha ha ha ha
Some of us nurses are blokes yah know!!!
dressing up!
*Lib hands stethescope to pen and pager to snorgle* Now you've got doctors kit you can properly pretend! [snorgle] When people ask me if they're going to die, I'm often tempted to say "Yes" then pause before adding "but we're all going to and I couldn't tell you when will be your time". But have resisted being quite so flippant as yet. [pen and snorgle] Would you like some scrubs to wear and maybe a white coat too?
stethoscopes
Lib] Can I have a stethoscope as well please ? Where are you a doctor ?
New game
In the hope that we might have a new game to play on tomorrow's all-important first anniversary, should we nominate one for killing off, or shall I be naughty and make a space for it? For the latter I'd probably need to start it myself - so if the birthday verse game has legs, what should it be called?
and while i am about it..
Lib, maybe you can help me.... Does a doctor's doctor doctor the doctor according to the doctrine of the doctor being doctored, or does the doctor's doctor doctor the doctor being doctored according to the doctoring doctor's doctrine ?
and while i am about it..
Lib, maybe you can help me.... Does a doctor's doctor doctor the doctor according to the doctrine of the doctor being doctored, or does the doctor's doctor doctor the doctor being doctored according to the doctoring doctor's doctrine ?
So good...
... you said it twice!
or maybe...
That's another bug?
Bollocks...
The simulpost protection is broken!
doctoring
[st d] Sorry, i've only got one stethescope, I threw my old one away as it hurt my ears. I've got a tourniquet that you can have, if that's good enough. Currently I'm doctoring in Stockport, but in three weeks I'll be curing the sick in Macclesfield.
Earbleed
[Lib] Couldn't you turn the volume down?
Oh...
...and I think the simulpost protection is fixed.

Don't upgrade your code, kids!

earbleed, indeed...
[rab] Twas not a volume thing (and LOUD IS GOOD regarding stethescopes) but the earpieces were really hard and hurt my little external auditory meatuses. New scope has nice squidgy earpieces so I'm no longer sore.
Stockport - what a lovely bridge there is there. Can I assume that you are pretty newly qualified then ? I used to see a girl who did her med degree at St Andrews and then when she qualified she was at Stockport for a few months.
scrubbing up
[Lib]Yes please! *Now what naughtiness can I get up to..*
[widey]I certainly hope so! In the absence of dishy doctors, naughty nurses are a necessity.
games all round
[rab] Don't kill anything. Go on, you know you want to up the game limit for the special occasion.
[snorgle]*Lib runs towords theatre and picks up a nice blue pair of scrubs for snorgle and a hat and mask too*. Top tip.... scrubs make excellent pyjamas.
twittering away . . .
I was so knackered after finishing work this evening that, after dinner, I slept for 5 hours. Now it's the wee small hours and I'm wide awake, but am I worried? No, not I ... for it's the First Birthday of MC5 ... wahay
[rab] I didn't start the Any-Versary Game because it's been rather quiet in here this week [probably because the Chat has been extensive in both MCiOS & Orange]. I can only conclude that there IS some support for the idea as no-one has objected or come up with an alternative :-).
birthday cake
Blimey - it's nearly 9.30 .. no cake, no people, no pressies?
Happy Birthday MC!
woohoo! *blows horn and prances around idiotically in surgical scrubs*
I've got the horn.
[Chalky] Sorry, late in this morning, and logistical difficulties meant no net access til now.
Oh...
... and there's a special game slot open too... one day only... snap up those bargains etc.
fanfare!
[rab] what a lovely horn player you have there. ;o)
Hurrah!
My flatmate and I are now booked into the Salvation Army hostel in downtown Reykjavik for a four night stay in April! Happy Holidays for me! I need to buy a new sleeping bag... any recommendations?
Whoo!
Happy Birthday MC5! Will the special slot be for Haiku, Daily Mail Headlines, or something else entirely?
Holidays
[pen] I've been to Iceland. Its a fantastic place, although rather expensive. I'd recommend seeing the geyzers and other geothermal attractions. Sorry, but can't really help with the sleeping bag decision.HAPPY BIRTHDAY mc5!
Sleeping Bags.
penelope, I find that there is only one choice of sleeping bag that will be tolerated here and now on this site and on this day. Fortunately they are indeed widely regarded as being amongst the finest, if not the very pinnacle, of current sleeping bag technology. Slightly expensive perhaps, but I have had one since 1990 and it is still gorgeous and warm and in great condition and I have used it a lot. I direct you all and sundry , to the benchmark of sleeping on the top of himalayan mountain excellence, ladies and gentlemen, I direct you to...........

*****crescendo drum roll, circling spotlights*****

RAB

(beat that)
Felicitations
Happy birthday MC5!
rabsnoozers
[st d] I can beat that. it's impossible. Anyone would think we had been building this coincident-rich verbal stunt for the past two weeks or so... And I'm seriously looking at the site now. Thank you :o)
rab bags
pen] all i can say is this. Buy one. You will never regret it. They are gorgeous.
rabby birthday
Quite appropriate really as it is rab we have to thank for mc5.
bob the dog
pay attention, lad!
P.
Don't want to get too self-indulgent but I really should thank:
  • Projoy - for the logo (and not suing me for ripping it off, or manipulating it at times like this).
  • Nik - for the hardware, and keeping the site live beyond the call of duty.
  • Everyone else - for playing, and for not cocking up the HTML (only two fixes required in a year's play).
Right, time to get pissed.
logolicious!
Like the logo, btw.. :-)
Duty, maybe, but decency and morality, no. Anyway, it's a good 5 months (to the day-of-month - how freaky?) until MC5's birthday at angrycake.com. Which box has just reached 43 days uptime, while I figured this post out.
Uptime
Oh, that uptime is so low only because <spoddy reason in the rollover>. Also, 43 days probably extends further back than the last time the DSL was down.
It's been a year...
Did the Earth move for you too?
MC5 -- the early days
oooh ... I've just looked back to the very first entries in this game and was pleased to see that I was there! :-)
Is anyone up for an Anniversary Chat [e-pilg MCiOS] in an hour or so [when you all return from Friday night fun]?
Spooky coincedences
Today is my birthday. However, I'm not 1.
"Mrs" Bob gave me a copy of a David Icke book that she found in an Oxfam in Bath. Apparently the Queen is a lizard. Just my sort of book :o)
S'Razhdyeistvom MC5
I thought you'd lik a nice russian greeting for this momentous occasion, so...
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom
S'Razhdyeistvom MC5
S'Raaaa-zhdyeistvom! It sounds better after lots of vodka.
Completely nothing to do with anything
Are there any American players out there who are fans of Pyramid?
Oh yes, making it relevant
only if you ever want to see it again I'd write to the distributors before Tuesday because it's just been cancelled....
Pyramid
[ZK] I didn't think it went well with Donny Osmond as host. You can't beat Dick Clark at that show.
Pyramidness
I never did get to see it with Dick Clark. (too young and british) Still, if you know anyone who does like it...
black humour
One should expect it really ... the inevitable round of e-mails following a major news story, in this case, Harold Shipman's suicide. This morning I received the one relating to the plans for a film of his life [starring De Niro] called 'The Old Dear Hunter'. Tasteless, maybe, but I have to confess I chuckled. Do only we Brits have a propensity for laughter in the face of appalling events?
No, there are people with this quality born all over the planet; it just seems that in the UK the concentration is substantially higher and/or less secretive about it. Perhaps UK society is more at home with, or based around, this tendency. After all, it's not so long ago ('help! Help! I'm being oppressed!') that we had little else but each others' misery to find amusing. Oh, and that is a superb pun.
Today
Bit quiet today. And moist, I note.
E-pilg
I'm in right now -- and as I'm not at work today, I won't have to leave at 5 PM EST. :)
Downtime
There will be downtime. I don't know how much, or when. I'm having my ADSL regraded from engineer-installed to wires-only, because Nildram are currently doing so for free. I'm using the opportunity to upgrade to 1mbps (downstream only, unfortunately). Whee!
nuttin' at all...
No-one has chatted here today at all, so I thought I'd make an inconsequential start. I'm having a tricky day - three awkward letters to write to clients trying to ditch us (that's only three out of about 100, so all is not lost yet) but we can't have that. Anyway, I'm obviously doing as much as I can to put off actually having to write the letters, so already today I have reported the malfunctioning traffic lights outside the office (three and a half minutes cycles??? I ask you! I had to wait through two changes of lights this morning before getting though - that's nearly seven minutes) made coffee for everyone, stared at the screeen for ages, and posted to a few games. And soon it will be time for lunch.
clients
Surely it is nmore effective to go and see them or to call them up on the phone. Why are they trying to ditch you ?
ditchiness
Long story - to do with the perceived value of advertising v. news press, Head Offices streamlining procedures without informing branches, and the fast turnover of staff in the moto trade which means that no sooner have you got one contact briefed and primed than he changes jobs and you have to start all over again, etc etc. And We would have been to see them but for the fact that I have only recently gained the extra member of staff which has relieved me of the pressure of doing two people's jobs. There was no way I could have taken enough time out of the office to visit this lot in the last quarter of last year while I was qwriting news for the other 97 clients. They're all in the North of england and Scotland.
CrM
I agree with st d. Call them. :-)
like I said...
[CdM](I nearly swore at you there)... you don't have to sit at my desk trying just to get put through to the people I have to talk to. Let's not talk about it any more - I've had enough for today.
getting through to people
pen] you obviously aren't doing it very well if they aren't coming to the phone to talk to you. I mean ...(joke joke joke joke joke joke joke) ;o)
getting the 'joke'
I'm pleased you pointed out it was a joke, because I wouldn't have spotted it otherwise. :op
Anyway, who's for pizza?
e-pilg
I was certain that I put a move in here - and I can't find it anywhere else..have we lost anything?
Marbles?
Well that goes without saying..
anything else?
Very strange feeling - I'm meeting someone this evening and was told to be at Mornington Crescent at 8. I wanted to say something like - "Direct from Paddington? I'm not sure that's allowed under the Walsh-Hemerington Allowance of 1932, at least with an unstacked podume," but I didn't.
more warnings
Just in case anyone on Celebdaq has any shares in Arnie, the Board have issued a statement to suspend his shares from midday on Thursday, 22nd January 2004, so sell any shares in him now.

The other sensational news for D class celeb watchers is the return od I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here. The line up being
John Lydon
Neil Ruddock
Alex Best
Kerry McFadden
Jordan
Mike Read
Lord Brocket
Peter Andre
Jenny Bond
Diane Modahl
I will admit even at this early stage, that my shares will be on my adolescent hero from the Sex Pistols, to become King of the Jungle.

Bliss.
How ignorant I am. Of the list above I recognise only Lydon, Jordon, Read and Peter Andre (Although I haven't a clue what or who he is).
Whoops.
Hungover :) And it seems there are those who think this site is a search engine. Odd.
Ask Jeeves
What is a Fairy Hammock??
which Mike?
Which Mike Read? Is it:
*sings*
Mike Read, Mike Read
275 and 285
Mike Read, Mike Read
National Radio 1!
or is it Mike Read of 'Runaround............ NOW!
*Drags head out of Seventies TV and Medium Wave radio back to the noughties and the fact that she *still* can't get a digital TV signal*
junglers
So who's Lord Brocket?
And .. Jenny Bond? The 'royaller than the royals' lady?
Also ... notice that all the first names have either 4 or 5 letters in them [apart from Jordan who's a whole country anyway]
[pen] You should be able to get a radio signal - why not use the dosh to buy a DAB radio?
It's yet another indication of how woeful TV has become these days. Anything with the word "celebrity" in the title, you know will be dire; furthermore, you know that it will push the word "celebrity" so far that it will lose all meaning. I mean, George Best's wife? Someone who reports on the royal family? And those are the ones I have vaguely heard of. Remember "Celebrity Wife Swap" with the bloke who cheated on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Neither does anyone else. I was on Zig Zag when I was 10. I'd probably qualify as a "celebrity" for one of these programmes.
john Lydon
I think it is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very sad thing indeed that he is appearing on that show. Very sad. I mean, really, what's the point anymore ? Why go on ?
unless.....
unless of course he just tells everyone to faaark orffffff and refuses to do anything at all. That might be quite entertaining.
effing offers
[st d] I think that's the idea. And frankly I hope it happens.
BTW, I'm having a slightly better afternoon today - my boss has just stopped riding his electric scooter around the office to serve me a cup of Earl Grey and a gingernut.
damn DAB
[Chalks] I've thought about it - but Digital TV was supposed to be an economy, because you can get digital radio through the TV. It was £60 to receive Digital TV + Digital Radio through the digibox, OR £70-odd for just digital radio through a DAB set.
Run Around
[pen] Apropos of Run Around, it struck me that the Iowa caucusses which have just been held were reminiscent of Run Around.
cor cussing
One might think the plural of caucus would be 'cauca' [what a corker!] or even 'caucii'. My Chambers English Dic is non-committal by suggesting that the etymology is dubious and it might be derived from John Smith's Algonkian word Cawcawaassough, an adviser. I'm sure someone over can shed more light .... ?
surreal spam
I got some spam - normal get-rich-quick rubbish, but the following was on the end of the mail..
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions. `With a torch.' `Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"
S'not fair snorgs - you always get the most exciting spam :-)
Corkers
[Chalky] That's more or less the etymology I've heard as well, from no less eminent a source than Bill Bryson (Made In America). "caucii" seems an unlikely plural since "caucus" isn't of Latin origin... All the same though, the one thing I do know is that the real trick with spelling the plural of "caucus" is knowing when to stop.
the Latin theory
[Duncussessesesess] After the Caucus Club of Boston (in the 1760s), possibly from Medieval Latin caucus, drinking vessel. [Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.]
Caucii
Simple - the plural of caucus is caucuses. That's from the lexicon I keep here in the shack - The New Penguin E.D. - etym. 'probably of Algonquian origin'. Algonquians being of east coast American peoples; ergo - N.Y slang! ... ;-)
Why is it?
At 0500 hours I get a craving for chips with lots of vinegar? I'm the wrong genda to be pregnant. Maybe if I get a sex change the cravings will be justified????
DAB radio vv TV
Pen] The value of the set-top box has to be off-set against TV licence (going up to £121 in April). So cost of TV (£70) divided by life of TV (£10 + 7 years x £121) = £875 for 7 years viewing. I personally feel that it is not worth it. I have no TV, watch DVDs on my PC and get all my news/current affairs/entertainment from The World Service, R4, R6 & R7 on my DAB radio (£70). OK, so I miss out the quality stuff like I'm a Celeb, Emmerdale, Kilroy and The Bill, but I'll live :o).
dubious maths, Bob.
I'm not convinced. You can't offset the cost of a digibox against the TV licence, you have to add them together! (I know that's a point against, but still...) And a Digibox will receive digital radio signals through the TV. Plus, I think you have to factor in the fact that I was going to blag half the money from my flatmate :o)
I also watch DVDs on my laptop, and listen to a lot of R4 but I do appreciate a bit of telly from time to time, especially some of the documentaries, history and natural history programmes, stuff like Grand Designs and some comedy. Last night, though, my TV wasn't switched on at all.
I think my main gripe is the fact that although they're advertising digital TV (in the BBC's case, 'pushing' - isn't that still advertising?) as much as they can, not everyone can get it and there's no schedule to let people know when they will be able to get it. When I asked, I was told to lobby my MP about it. I think that's the woolliest consumer advice I've ever received.
maths - never my strong point
Pen] Yer-right!
Cost of TV (average) = £70
Cost of Set-top box = £50 (£49 in Argos)
Life expectancy of both = 7 years
7 years of TV licence at £121 = £847
Total cost of TV+set-top for 7 years viewing = £967
£967 divided by two (you and flat-mate) = £483.50.
OK so I'm a pedantic bugger, but I'm also justifying my own decision not to have a TV to myself. I do not miss the natural history stuff as the best of it is available in my local library (I watch them on my pc with my 8 year-old daughter). I also miss some documentaries but I've been at the sharp-end of BBC misrepresentation so I am only too aware of how documentaries and news items are often sexed-up to present an 'angle' that will pull in the punters rather than tell the truth.
BBC misrepresentation
Does the culture of mis-representation not extend as far as the hallowed halls of Radio 4? Did anyone tell John Humphries yet? As an aside (I warn you, I think I'm pre-menstrual today - I've already had a go at Mastercard on the phone this morning) The Today programme really pisses me off - the last quarter of an hour today was five mintes of JH taking the piss out of a Pensioners' Cross-Party political party which was launched today, and the other ten minutes in 'serious' debate about Cricket. I ask you...
Being Pedantic
B. the D.] News and current affairs can't be that good on DAB because you appear not to have heard that "Killroy" has been pulled. Highly amusing article on page 5 of the new "Private Eye" on the subject of Mr K.-S. by the way.
hallowed halls of R4
pen] Right again, the mis-representation I was subject to started on R4 - a report by Trixie Rawlinson in fact. All (sensationalist) news reporting should be taken with a pinch of salt - and somehow I find it easier to be objective to news broadcast on the Radio where there are no emotive images.
Bigsmith] I shall be more attentive for vital news like this in future ;o)
Today
I really cannot stand The Today Programme. In my eyes it comprises largely onanistic playground squabbles masquerading as informed debate. The questions posed often fail to hit any substantive target and the guests frequently have the communication skills of a mop and bucket. Plus I simply cannot cope with that much talking first thing in the morning. R3's as much as I can cope with (prob. less than 10% chat, not to mention those long pauses they're famed for).
morons morons evrywhere
I have just gone over to watch a little video thing on a computer of a girl at work. It consisted of a "rifle man's view" (ie B/W with crosshairs) of some iraqis running for cover then being blown to pieces with US voice commentary on top. Now I am not commenting on the rightness or wrongness of the US soldiers doing the killing, but rather this MORON girl laughing withher nasal estuarine horse laughter at it. She seems to think it is funny ? I don't get it.
Oh god st d, I sympathise.
Beavis & Bush-head
[st dogma] Was she laughing "huh-uh-huh,huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-huh,huh-huh" ?
HTML Primer
[Dr Q] Bravo. Go on - don't be shy. Put the link in here aswell :-)
I'm sure rab will give it the signpost it deserves.
HTML Primer
Yes - I promised DrQ to put a link to it on the site somewhere... what I really want to do is create a 'help' page. I've got the nuts and bolts of it written, just need to construct the text. Maybe this'll get done at the weekend.
Did I forget to x-post?
Well, here it is, then. The MC Basic HTML Primer.
Q-text
We can expect some
  • Useful
  • Interesting
  • Informative
  • Exciting and
  • Bizarre
posts from now on then.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT
There are people here who are even more grumpy than me, which is nice. Bob the Dog has got the right idea. TV is nearly all crap. I look at the Radio Times and think "thank God for the radio - esp. R4". Jazz FM and R3 have their moments, too. But, except for the football, which is good, R5 is utterly dire. It's like a perpetual down-market You and Yours. Hasn't Susan Bookbinder got a horrible harsh voice, compared with the velvet tones of Charlotte Green and the luscious Corrie Corfield?
Funnily enough, I used to have a job which consisted of trying to think of new TV programmes (in the "light factual" category, and I think we all know what that means). It wasn't quite as soul-destroying as you might think, but let's just say it wasn't really me. I've never in my life listened to the radio apart from a few very rare occasions so I have no idea what the Today programme or any others are like...
Mumbles into half-drunk cold coffee...
Rosie] I'm not grumpy! Its Bob the dog by the way, never Bob the Dog.
:o) - I like this!
Best stop here...
puzzled
[Bob] Who's the face on the crab?
Chalky] Ah, the crab of ineffable wisdom! I think it is David Icke. I got him from here. The following is his nemesis..
very puzzled
As I can't see Bob's marquees on my browser, the foregoing makes very little sense indeed.
[Rosie] Why listen to R5 if you detest it so much? I formed the same impression of it when it started, and I haven't listened to it since.
Radio 5
I do listen to it - but mainly quite late at night, when it's better. I listen to it in the mornings too, but wish they didn't have Nicky Campbell on then - he really is terrible at interviews!
[rab] Use a different browser then! Btd's animations are great!
A Null Set If Ever I Heard Of One
Quality and TV? Ha!

It's a ridiculous cliché to say that British telly is the best in the world, but there's also some truth in it. Try watching US telly sometime - yes, there are good programmes on (after all, many of them are shown on British telly too) but the amount of utter irredeemable tripe is enormous and far outweighs the good stuff (at least on terrestrial). One very good reason that there is no licence fee in the States is that nothing being put out on the terrestrial networks is worth it.

We have a TV in order to watch Star Trek. That's about it.

HTML
To recap:
  1. I created this for no reason
  2. ...other than to see how it looks
  3. ...and I'm impressed!
This and that
(Raak) Your logic is impeccable, but possibly does not address the practicalities. The footy on R5 is good because they never pretend a poor match is good. I have even heard Michael Green say "this is dreadful". So you get the truth, more or less. So the radio gets left on R5 sometimes and I turn it on and get all this crap I mentioned. The same can happen in the car. (Bob the lower case dog) Dreadful sorry - will be more careful in the future. Like your crabs, but could Thrax and I please have some of those F****** LOBSTERS.
it's all rather good
I feel I must make a stand for Blode.
More Blode
Much more Blode and other stuff here. Some of it is quite rude. My favorites are Big Pants Treking and The Beatles.
Even more
Oh yeah, and We Like the Moon and Mark Larma, Gerbil Farmer. My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.
Hmm, try again
My all-time favorite flash animation is this one.
Nudge
*nudges Btd in the direction of the 'Preview' button*
... interruptin' Flashing Bob
[Bob] hauling you back ... I don't think that IS David Icke smiling on the crab. I thought he'd been swallowed by the 'globe of destruction' that is the bizarre workings of his mind, but it seems not. He's on the telly as I type.
...again
I'm working at home today. Well, I say that. I'm really trying to figure out a sign-writing [by hand not machine] job for my local pub, whilst keeping a close eye on the short-term weather forecast [snow on Monday]. OK - in reality I'm faffing around on here with the ITV1 in the background. It's ever so cosy :-) OMG - D Icke is completely barking ...
Icke it is in the real world
David Icke used to be a harmless nutter, but now seems to be spouting dangerous anti-semitic messages. He believes that we are governed by reptiles from space under the title of the 'Babylonian Brotherhood'. He believes that the death of Pricess Diana was a sacrifice to the gods (by the Windsors, Spencers and Al-Fayeds) and that presedent Bush (amongst others) attendeds ritual baby eating sacrifices. We'll he is possibly right there. (To any American air-port officials who may wish to arrest me, that was a J O K E ok?). He hates the Freemasons who have this to say about him.
sequal No 5
rab] following Nina posting over on Orange, would you be willing to host the film review forum and putting Anni-Verse-Ary Game to bed?
Etching
[Inkspot] I have etched my response into an Orange.

Mind you, the Verse game has not really caught on... so its replacement with, erm, something would probably be A Good Thing.

Replacements
[rab] We haven't had Mornington Dictionary for a while (that is, definitions for made up words rather than new definitions for existing words). Mind you, that's usually hosted at MCiOS...
Stupid Bugger
Of course, in offering that suggestion I was neglecting to notice that the 2002 Mornington Dictionary game is, er, still going on MCiOS.

Forget I mentioned that.

Hyakugojyuuichi!!
I, er, don't get it.
More white plastic bags
rab] strange that about the verse game not catching on perhaps people prefer to 'add-a-line' to make it more of a participation game, rather than the whole verse as set out. There we go live and learn.
I know story games have only a limited base of followers, but again see if it floats, Short Reverse Stories, each about 5-15 moves of approx 100ish words, if it sinks ... it gets killed off and gets replaced.

Meanwhile over at Daq Towers, the hamsters have been busy, I had been expecting x_sugarbabe_x, at the top, but keeping it in the family its Chalky as No1 over at Celebtity Mornington Crescent, and will DrQu+xum be ready to take over next week?

Just registering my annoyance - the Verse Game has been ditched after only a week! All this to make way for a load of film chat, eh? Which just happens to occur in MCiOS, eh? [and is a very fine game - believe me, I'm not knocking it] So - if commenting on some other person's 'work' takes precedence over our own poetic/literary endeavours then so be it. I'd obviously read it wrong.
Anniversary, Birthday, Cessation
I thought, Chalky, that it was only meant as a temporary tribute to the first birthday of the site. Maybe I misinterpreted something along the way. No, I have nothing against a verse game of some sort so please do not take that comment the wrong way.
Is there some way we could meet in the middle on a new verse game? I like the participatory nature - it's fun to watch something twist away - but maybe something where it isn't limited to one line, and also maybe not limited to one particular verse form. Whoever starts declares a form - either specifically (e.g., Petrarchan Sonnet) or by establishing a rhyme and metre scheme, and puts out as much as they feel like. That way, anyone feeling truly inspired can provide a complete chunk for us, and the dullards among us can trip over 5 feet of iambic pentameter.
Invite to everyone....
To visit my bands home page,sign the guest book and listen to the free tunes! http://www.papalazarus.com Have a funky day!
You're my wife now...
widey] Happy boppy stuff! Did the name come before or after the League of Gents?
... ooh
Sorry I came over all stroppy-like last night with my little rant. Of course, it IS possible to carry on playing the Any Verse Game 'below the line'. Simple solutions like that don't really register after a skinful :-).
Shape-changing reptiloids
[Bob the Dog] Interesting stuff about Icke, although as I understand it, the charge of anti-semitism seems to be unfair - I believe that what happened is that people heard him ranting about alien lizards running the world and thought it was his offensive way of referring to Jews, when in fact he really did mean alien lizards and wasn't talking about Jews at all. All the same, it seems very odd to me that everyone's response to David Icke is that he is a weird nutter who is beneath contempt, rather than that he is clearly mentally ill and needs help. This is what happens when you play sport, you know.
Correction
I meant, of course, "Bob the dog", with a firmly lower-case noun there.
Oi Stop thief...........Papalazarus
we nicked it from the LOG but it happens to be Duffers middle name!!!!
I wanna ride my Icke
Breadmaster] I think one of the things that fascinates me about DI is that he has been like this for so long. That is not to say that people with mental illnesses only have it for a short period, rather that he is being taken so seriously and that no-one has managed to get him any real help.
[Btd] Perhaps he's actually the front man for the real conspiracy, who maintain him in public view to spout lunatic theories as a camouflage and to draw likely recruits. Their agents go covertly to his meetings, get into conversation with other people there, and when they suss a likely prospect, tell him that of course Icke's crazy, how the world really works is such and such, and do they want in?
Gathering more net space to self
I'm sure I've seen most of the stuff listed above before (Moon song, crab whotsit etc), the total randomness of the Internet is so fantastic, it's unbelievable. Things like sqa.com really underline the total iognorance of some people (8-/). The Google directory has some truly laughable links. *sigh*
User names
For some time I have been pondering over the use of long names on MC sites and their attempt to dominate the screen, disrupt the eye and generally just be a bloody nuisance. Now I know. See here and scan down the list of the territory tyrants. ... :-)
Grrrr!
Link faulty: Try this one. ... ;-)
Oi, Googolplex
Much as I admire, revere, and love the name which nature or some other kindly creature has bestowed on you, is there any chance you could change it to a shortened version or acronym? What with it stretching the browser and all....
Name Controversy
Wow - this is the biggest naming controversy since The Two Jonathans! :)
It was I!
[Dujon] That Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg and I are one and the same: I have e-mailed the M.E. in the past and managed to get both myself, and a friend (Elmon the King Slug of Bangladesh) portions of the world. Ask her, if you don't believe me. Oh, and have you seen the quotes page? [ZK] Thank you, you are a lovely grovvely indidvidual: are you related to Chalky? ;-) I loathe it when people type my name as an acronym. If you must shorten it, make me "Googolplex" as above.
My name is too long too
Welcome Googolplex, I like your full name. I have often wanted to shorten my own for the sake of easy typing, but is Btd funny?
We're on at the same time!!!!!!! What do I do?
[Bob the dog] I don't know whether you're being sarcy or complimentary! I'm the only other person I know who has that effect on people (although, not on the net). Now I'm so confused! Btd could be funny; it depends what you make of it.
The written word...
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] - [sorry I got it wrong first time] Ah ha!
Help!
A help page has been added, and it contains a link to DrQ's reference. If anyone has any improvements to the text, let me have them. The same goes for the various buttons on these pages too.
[Bob the dog] No, yours isn't.
[GtABGfL] Particularly on this site, where the font is bigger than MCiOS, it's a teensy bit annoying. And no, I'm not related to Chalky or ZK or Dujon...
Info page
[rab] Much obliged for the link . . . and you forgot BPMCF ;)
Oh, noooo....
[Bob the dog] Stop with the mind games!!!!
Bob the dog
I've been meaning to ask - why don't you have dog as Dog? Is it some grand mystery of the universe? Or is there a simpler explanation?
Deepdarkmysterysofthemind
ZK] When I first started on !York I used my real name - a very odd and silly thing to do, especially as I have an memorable name and at that time was in a high profile job. So, after an announcement of my intentions, I changed my on-line identity. After a short trip as Roobiroo, I became Bob the dog, named after my brothers dog, Bob. My brother has a dog, not a Dog - and as I am really playing on his behalf, I am very careful not to abuse his very well-earned doggy title.
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] I am not related to Chalky, ZK, Dujon or Toby either. If that helps.
high-profile job
[Btd] According to Google, you are the Head of the CIA's clandestine service and Deputy Director for Operations. Or is farming more in your line?
It's all relative
And there I was under the impression that I was related to all of you...now, I'm just confused!
Relations?
[ZK] You must be from West Virginia! ;)
name calling
[GtABGfL] That's the second [or maybe third] time you've accused me of grovelling. I was being polite when I kindly requested you shortened your name for the Doubles Game in MCiOS, simply because the truncated nature and content of the entries in that game makes for ease of reading. Scanning down the page, which is part of the fun, becomes impossible if diverted by the swivel-eye effect of your long name. As you have now decided to expand your activities into Orange MC and here, I shouldn't be surprised if you get further polite requests to 'wind yer neck in' ....
monicker inflation
Wind yer neck in, Goo-Boy. It's a visual irritant.
Nom de ploooooooome
Indeed. Recall that my handle is an abbreviation as well. It's short for DrQuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

[to be continued]
Necks
[Chalky] Sorry if I offended you, i tend to get stuck on ideas from time to time, but it's a fair enough comment. In games like that, I may well relinquish my title and stick with my name: is that fair? [Rosie] Dearie, your sentence is so irritating, it should've arrived in a yellow bottle with "Harmful Irritant" on an orange background with a huge black cross on it. Don't call me "Goo-Boy" and I'll start making changes. *sob*
Goat-boy
Is that better? Stop being so obsessive, or I'll get the whip out!
Pin the tail on the donkey
Projoy] Ooo arr!
Aesthetics
In the interests of aesthetics, excessively long monikers are auto-truncated on the front page. [DrQ] grr... formatting...
Googolplex the amazing balancing goat from luxembourg
AT first I thought that our ruminant luxembourgeois friend's name was somewhat irritating in it's length. Now however I like it and would be most upset and sad if she (for I believe that the "goat-boy" is indeed a she - I remember these details) were to revert to a simple Googolplex (or Euro Goat or whatever). I do have a question though - are you in Luxembourg now ? Indeed are you even actually from luxembourg ?
Wonders why he bothers.
Effiminancy
[st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig] *Ah bliss*. I'll come back to that. [snorgle] You are a darling, but that kind of aggressive flirting, isn't for me. [st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig] Check Orange MC for a little evidence.
St Dogmael could of course shorten himself to Toel, the name by which he is known in some parts of Brittany.
I've been amazed by some of the gender revelations of recent weeks. !York used to have a "who's who" page, didn't it? We should reinstate such a thing.
yeah yeah, shoot me down now...
I too find that long names, when used constantly, are very annoying, and would like it if people could stop using them. Not that you will, as evidenced above. Games end up cluttered and difficult to scan, which puts me off playing them - it's too much effort to avoid the bandstanding (not that anyone would've noticed any absence, but so be it).

I thought Googolgoat was a good alterative moniker (as seen on MCiOS), which keeps the essence of the name while avoiding initials. Oh well, I'll shut up now.

And I apologise if I offended anyone, but I'm having a rotten couple of months. *shuts up properly, now*
...a continuation...
...uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

[flerdle] Keep talking, please!
goatiness or otherwise
re: goatboy - as I typed it I had a sneaking suspicion, but I figured what the hell! I bet she's not a real goat, either.. [st dogmael of the house of Cunedda, the son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda Wledig]*cracks whip*
Grrr...
Let's put this in words of one syllable shall we: long strings of text with no spaces fuck up the formatting. Don't do it.
Who's got my mascara?
What evidence is there that suggests I'm a woman? [snorgle] You absolute beast you!
sex (either or)
I dunno. I blame dogmael. *thhppppptttt* So, are you a goat or not?
January blues
Cheer up flerdle! Do you want to hear about my bad day? My car knows that I have to be in Cumbria tomorrow. It also knows that I'm running low on ££ as I have not been paid since December. My car hates me. So over the weekend it decided to have a tantrum. I tried everything to fix it, but it was a big expensive alternator problem I couldn't do anything about. So, having wasted most of my weekend I got up extra early to drop my car at a garage and arranged with 'notMrs' the dog to borrow her car for the trip to Cumbria. We then discover that her car won't start either. What is worse, as she steered it back into our parking space, the open door jammed into a neighbours wing and badly dented it. The neighbours car is a brand new Audi and the neighbour has just been round to tell us that repairs will cost £500. Of course insurance will cover it but we loose our no claim bonus and have to pay the first £100 repair. Plus our premiums will go up. Add a two-year-old with a raging cold and an eight-year-old coping with loss of hamster, liberally sprinkle with my own grotty mood because I’m on a diet and you have a recipe for glumness. Plus the weather forcast for Cumbria is very scary. Flerdle, you are not alone!
Poised Goatliness
Thanks for compromise [ref. Doubles Game :-)] and for the record, I couldn't give a flying fart whether you're male/female/hermaphrodite/single cell amoebic/whatever - so long as your postings are witty/clever/funny/educational/thought-provoking/etc. thereby compelling me to read them when I sign in and see the name on the index pages. I'm a huge fan of some of the regular posters in this elite community - but I wouldn't dream of naming names .....

*sympathy hugs* for flerdle, rab and Bob [whose simulpost I've just seen]

insurance
No, your NEIGHBOUR has to pay the excess and then he claims it back through his insurance, from your insurance! Don't let him tell you otherwise! Unless you mean your own excess, of course - but I didn't get the impression that you damaged your car that badly..
Things that go bump
Nah - 'notMrs' the dogs car is fine. So the neighbour who so kindly came round to tell us it'd be £500 has to pay excess does he? Thanks snorgs.
The good news is
Yey! I've lost 5lbs!
The Incredible Lightness of dogs
[Bob] I say, well done! I went on a wine diet over the weekend and lost three days.
Going spare?
Has there been any recent discussion about what to do with the vacant plot? I'd love to see a revival of "Ye Crescent Morningtowne" from Orange a couple of years ago.
all sorts
re:Goatsex] I am sure that it was admitted by the goat at some time recently, when a link was posted to a site with manga cartoons or some such. Maybe that was just a strange dream ?
Bob] Sounds messy. Did the wee kiddo have a birthday ? Many happy returns from me and tell her I said to get over the hamster and move on. Tell her to buy a Giant Tortoise next as they live longer and she will in all likelihood lose interest in it long before it shuffles off it's mortal coil. ;o0
Actually, I'm a Great Crested Grebe
[Chalky] Hmmm, that list sort of limits my potential posts to the "etc" range. [son of Ithel ab Ceredig ab Cunedda] You pipped me to the post! And no, my gender is not revealed at Hunter's Glade.
Hunters Glade
GP] No - but I am sure I remember you mentioning your gender when you posted that link.....
memory not that good
though as I cant for the life of me remember WHERE you did post that, I can't go back and check....
e-pilg tonight?
I might be around after 9 pm ... any ideas for a theme?
theme?
Bread and Circuses!
hugs etc.
[rab] I noticed the auto-truncating on the front page, darling - thank you.
[Bob the dog] Well done, you. That's the kind of weekend that would put five pounds in beer calories on me....
[flerdle] sorry it's not getting better. *hugs* [pen] What does that mean?
No, my gender isn't there either. Where did I leave it?
[st dogmael] It was "Read any good books lately?"
Abbr.
[rab] The name doesn't abbreviate on the non-CSS page...not like that matters, really.
Bob the dog - done to excess
Hah! Your stupid neighbour thought he'd save money on his insurance by upping his excess, and now he's trying to get you to pay it! Trust me, ring your insurer and they'll confirm it. (so will your neighbour's insurance company). I used to get that all the time in my last job - people thought it was unfair(once they had a claim, not before when it was cheaper, oh no!)that they had to pay money when the accident wasn't their fault. But it is possible to get car insurance with nil excess, just more expensive. Your neighbour will have to cough up the dosh himself and wait till his insurance company can claim it back for him. Tough donuts to the cheapskate!
Abbr
[DrQ] Yeah, the ugliness is less extreme there.
Not Tu+xuj, though that's nice DrQ :)
Cor, you fall asleep for a week, and when the prince (well, I'd rather a princess, but I was asleep at the time) wakes you up your mile behind the times. Reading back three pages worth of conversation was great fun though!
[Btd] A blast of positive karma to you, or whatever equivalent you'd prefer. Maybe an Indian takeaway.
Juggles
Btw there's some acrobatics in the chat room just now.
jiggling
well there was, at any rate.
Bread and Circuses
[Chalky] Someone famous said it - it's the formula to keep the populace happy, I think. I'm sure Google can help.
As luck would have it...
Hoorah for my degree! (er, the one I'm presumably going to have in 3 years' time) That was Juvenal, in his satire #10...

"A body that used to confer commands, legions, rods and everything else, has now narrowed its scope, and is eager and anxious for two things only: bread and races."

Circenses being the latin that can refer to a race or a circus (because of the arena, which was a circuit). Of course.
Oh yeah...should you so wish
"nam qui dabat olim imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, panem et circenses."
(GtAMGfL) I love "Dearie". If only you knew.
Bread and Circi
[pen, Chalky] It was Julius Caesar, wunnit?
bread and circi
*coughs loudly*
Its sunny down here...
Apologies for sharp exit on epilg last night, something went wrong with my connection. Off to snowy Cumbria soon. I may be some time..
circuts!
It wasn't just you, Bob. It fell over, but got back up later! Nice act, though.
Big topple
Perhaps my act was the show stopper. That’s the last time I do the canine cannonball!
Juvenile humour
I can't think of Juvenal without recalling the programme that was on TV about him a few years ago. It consisted primarily of Stephen Fry wandering the crowded streets of London in a toga, scowling at everything. Personally I think that anything that brings that about has to be a good thing.
insurance excess
snorg] I think you are being rather unfair on bob's neighbour. Most people (I imagine) envisage car insurance as covering them for accidents with people they do not know and for large amounts of money. Now Bob is in the unfortunate position of having just had his car cause damage to his next door neighbour's car in an incident that seems to be 100% the fault of !mrs. bob. Admittedly the "man from Audi" coming and knocking on their door does not endear me to the neighbour, but but but the fact remains that bob has to live next door to these people. We do not know what bob's relationship is with them(good/bad/nonexistent) or what kind of people they are. Certainly though I think it is unfair to criticise them for trying to save money on their car-insurance. I would advise bob to simply give them his insurance details and apologise profusely maybe even give them some wine etc. If they ask for any excess he should say that their insurance companies will deal with it - after all that is what they are there for. What I would envisage happening is that bob's insurance company will pay the claim, and that the excess will actually apply to bob - because the neighbour is actually not using his insurance - other than to deal with bob's insurance company. Hopefully this will all resolve very amicably as I am sure it will and the little two year old will get over her cold and the weather will clear up and flerdle will wake up full of hope joy and love and the eight-year old will go on to be elected RULER OF THE WORLD and a new regime of LOVE and KINDNESS will prevail and humanity will evolve to a new level of peace and understanding and this will all be looked back upon as a fond memory in a happy and distant past.
It's a "B" isn't it?
[Rosie] What is the "M" for?
the bright side of life
[st sunnydog] I'll have a glass of whatever you're drinking :-)
Googolsex (The Amazing Balletic Ghost)
GS] having had a look back you appear to have made no mention there at all. Perhaps I just looked at the quotes page and saw predominately female contributions - I think I assumed you to be Anne ? No matter. You shall remain as ambiguous as you desire. Personally I am actually not a Welsh Monk at all, but rather a Seahorse, with no particular amazing qualities (for a sea horse anyway), from Tasmania. I do have a very pretty tail though.
what I am drinking
chalky] right now, Boots® Effervescent Vitamin C, from my "HITACHI Scientific Instruments" Mug.
what I am drinking
I am drinking a Lovely Cup of Coffee (TM) made by our Administrator Christine (very strong with a lot of milk) and a plastic cup of water with which I am necking Tesco's own label ibuprofen due to having the raging monthlies, damn them. It's at this point in the month when being pregnant would seem to be an attractive alternative. Although the end product isn't...
what I am drinking
Water from a bottle, via Lidl, from Yorkshire. Great slimming drink.
Christine, strong w lots of milk.
pen] Has she just given birth ? Does she work out ?
PJ] From what I remember of you, you ain't got no need for slimmin' drinks me lad.
Stressed!
Take some fying lessons from this guy find a chair and have a cuppa.
beefy mutha
[st d] *snigger*
Drinking
I'm drinking nothing but water. I'm something of an obsessive water-drinker, and unable to do anything without a mug of water next to me. This can be inconvenient at times.
[penelope] I've always pointed out that pregnancy may get you out of the monthlies for nine months, but you don't really escape them as they are essentially all saved up to have in one big go at the end. This observation has helped greatly in my policy of never allowing my chromosomes to get anywhere near the next generation.
M
(Googolp) M stands for typo, as ever. :-)
Drinking
A substance almost but not quite entirely unlike coffee from the uni cafeteria.
Liquidity
I'm with the Loafmeister on this one - I drink about 3 litres of water a day, although I do like a little fizziness around lunchtime, just to break things up. I have one fruit tea in the morning (usually Pink Grapefruit), and then it's water all the way. In fact I'm off to refill now. The reason for this is tied up with the absence of caffeine from my diet - almost two years now - and the ready availability of water from the coolers. Also, I happen to like the tiling in the Gents, which I get to study several times a day...
glug glug glug
Sing hoorah for orange juice! :)
Yes, OJ. Water with vitamins.
Duck me
I've just received an email inviting me to give a talk at a specialised meeting in April... am slightly dumbfounded...
well you know what the medical profs say ... if your 'water' isn't clear then you're not drinking enough water ...

[rab] a 'specialised' meeting ??

mountain airing
Chalky] Have you read one of rab's papers on liquid something or other doing some weird scientific whatsit. It's more specialised than the 'The Furcation Game', it would need an Horizon mini-series.
Specialism
I would cite the title of the meeting, but then I would fear that google might rate this page higher than the official one, with my cover then blown.
Drink?
*checks mini-fridge under desk* Dr Pepper, Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Mountain Dew, Code Red, Pepsi, Cherry Pepsi, Cherry 7UP, Schweppes Ginger Ale. ALL YOUR POP ARE BELONG TO US
dr q's pops
DR Q] You really do work in I.T don't you ?
Drenk!
Lemsips, cos of this cold. Grrr.
Fluid Dynamics
Too much coffee, but quite a lot of water too. Indeed, time to refill now. I hope I don't have to make a fresh pot...

Unfortunately when we moved offices we lost free pop privileges, and the coffee here is worse. Hmmph.

Dihydrogen Monoxide
I like lots of water too - good for the skin. Oh, and st d - wasn't that what I said? *is mildly confused now*
for a change...food
I'm currently eating some dairy-free ice cream, which is nice. Tastes a bit like frozen angel delight.
The campus is surprisingly lacking in vending machines, although there are plenty of overpriced shops for your trouble. No water coolers though - i may campaign to have one installed. Cos I don't drink caffeinated or fizzy stuff if I can help it I tend to get pretty thirsty during the day...sing hooray for Evian. however, water fountains are free....
Biscuits
[Rosie] So it does. :-P. My Mum's gone bake crazy: biscuits and cake everywhere!
Fluid intake
I'm amazed by the stuff I read here. Are you all diabetic, or something? I usually have a couple of pints of beer at some pub or other, but if I don't, then no problem, I just do less wee-wee, as one does, or doesn't. Bottled water, I think, is one of the biggest con tricks ever played. Why pay 70p a litre when a virtually identical product comes out of the tap at 44p a ton? It's WATER, for fuck's sake. I find it simultaneously hilarious and depressing how easy it is to relieve people of their money.
In all fairness, yes. But you should taste the tapwater where I live. Ugh.
Water water everywhere
Yup, I drink a fair bit of that stuff - normally take a litre or two to bed with me (no rude comments, please) and knock off about a litre each night. This, of course, is in the fond hope that it will swill out the liver/kidney/waterworks. ... :-(
H2O
A LITRE, Duj? That's nearly 2 pints. In bed?? I'd be up every 5 minutes, if you see what I mean, with that. (ZK) When I was working I used to occasionally take a swig of distilled water, just for the fun of it. It was bland and boring, not a patch on tap water, which in these parts is hard as nails and is basically a dilute chlorinated solution of calcium bicarbonate. Rather good stuff, and of course virtually free.
Water, Water Everywhere
[Rosie] I drink tap water, and lots of it. Fortunately, Portland has rather nice water. My reasons are that I just feel better if I drink lots of fluids, and in particular I run more comfortably.
Indeedy
[Rosie] Yes, I do (drink water). No I don't (get up every five minutes). I try my best to drink as much water as I do wine. Well I'm buggered if I'm going to drink the stuff with the wine. ;-)
weather check
OK - so I know it's very British to bang on about the weather BUT - after all the predictions of snow, arctic blasts, etc., it's blooming gorgeous today here in the mid-south.
chequered weather
Here in the outer London 'burbs (last road before the M25), we had enough snow and sunshine this morning to illuminate the undersides of seagulls and bring a brilliance and light to the landscape that we haven't seen since October. But as I write.... it's still freezing and SNOWING!!!!
Snow snow snow
chalky] London too is gloriously sunny with nice fluffy clouds. It snowed here (well Fulham and Clapham that I know of) last night though - though not for very long.
chalky] not really - or at least I didn't think so.
Arctic Blast
We had a good dump whilst sitting in the pub last night - nice to leave footprints in virgin snow on the way home. Now it's just degenerated into "wintry showers" so I think the slush stage is imminent.
Having a good dump
(rab) Do they put fast-acting laxatives in the beer in your local, then? :-)
precipitation
I walked to Uni in a blizzard today. Yay!!! :)
weather or not
It's been a lovely sunny day in Cardiff, too. A bit nippy, but no arctic blasts so far!
sorry about this
Html is fun!!
Snow is twee: and tweeness is EVIL!!!
Especially when someone you don't like is trying to telll you they fancy you.
I was amazed this evening to look out of the window and see a blizzard - with thunder and lightning! Never seen such a thing before. Of course, it is all melting now, already. There's nothing more depressing than melting snow.
How about
melting snow and a dead puppy?
Puppies are twee, and I hate dogs
cf above
Snow Joke
We've just had a teleconference with one of the presenters wittering on about how cold and snowy it is in New York. Of course, we were sitting there thinking "Woo. We had two weeks of snow and freezing temperatures in Portland and you didn't hear us complaining." Mind you, that could have been because a lot of us weren't in the office.

[Rosie] It was probably Tetleys he was drinking.

And they called it Puppy Love...
[snorgle] Thank you for making me laugh out loud - I needed that!
Snow? Ye' dun'no th' me'nin' of snow!
My driveway pile stands at 51/2 feet and growing.
[BM] We had that during The Blizzard of '93. Comedian Lewis Black once said of that phenomenon: "They don't even write about that in The Bible! And I'd imagine that if a prophet had seen it (after he wiped the poop out of his pants) he would've told us about it!"
Snow...
It's not much, I'm sure, but it means a lot to us. Building a smow-hamster on top of a car and slecging down the road was fun though!
whether the weather be fine, or whether the weather be not...
We were having a snowball fight and decided to venture out of our courtyard to find more people. There was a bunch of boys having a fight down the hill and we saw something they were obviously using as a sledge, so we asked them if we could have a go. They said, "Yeah, but be careful - it's the door off our fridge!"
I can't imagine how they ever planned on getting it back on...
exciting weather
[B'master] We had that here - in the very 10 minutes that I chose to walk from my house to the pub. Blizzard AND thunder & lightning - Oh, how we laughed!
[Googol] You're beginning to be a complete pain in the arse. If you don't like the chat, just don't join in.
Puzzled
[BM and Chalkywhip] That is quite amazing! I cannot recollect ever having heard of such an odd combination, although undoubtedly it happens (not that I'm all that well versed in meteorology.) It must have been a weird experience.
Water water water
We've had three tropical downpours and some light drizzle in the last few days. Some lovely rain, flooding, lighting, the works. Another due for this afternoon, wheee! The rest of the days have been bright, sunny, stinking hot and muggy.
Oh, and I'm still here for at least another week. Or two. Or more. This is getting ridiculous.
Queensland catches up with the rest of the world... ;-)
Hello, flerdle, still stuck? You must be going bananas. (sorry!) Good to see that the Sunshine State has finally matched the rest of the country and installed lighting - it's about time. ... just stirring!
I wonder whether or not you saw the map produced (I think) by the met. bureau showing the lightning strikes over a 24-hour period during that series of storms which ran over us both? For those who have not, it showed a time-line of strikes - they didn't expand, so I'm not sure if these are only the groundstrikes or cloud to cloud stuff as well. There was a number of 48,000 odd quoted! Regrettably my little patch of dirt received only a few millimetres of precipitation although we did have lots and lots of the light effects and noise.
Snow
(Breadmaster) Anything more depressing than melting snow? Yep. Non-melting snow. Couldn't get to where I wanted tonight because of it. Snow and thunder is rare - I've only seen it 3 times, Jan 1966, April some time in the 80's, and now. Trust me - I'm an ex-meteorologist, don't drink, don't smoke, make all my own frocks . . .
Strangely quiet
School, that is. Having fought my way here through the 5 mm of snow, I find I'm alone in the place... one other teacher, and not a sign of a snowball-throwing student... Good thing we don't have real snow here!
torrential snow
Last night was brilliant, except for driving down the M4 in a blizzard, with lightining. It snowed for no more than 20-30 minutes but that was enough for the boys. When I arrived home they were at the window, all three were excited broad grins on their faces. So in the dark is was snowball fights and snowman building, wonderful fun.
Pah
4 flippin' hours to get home (25 miles) in about an inch of snow last night. This may come across as somewhat curmugeonly, but:
If you know (because it's been trailed on the news for about a week) that there's snow on the way, put some petrol in your car.
If you don't like driving in the snow, don't do it. People will give you lifts, there are trains and buses and so on; don't hold the rest of us up by trundling around at 5mph.
If you're sliding, stop braking!
When you see a hill, don't stop. Don't speed up. Don't change gear, revving furiously all the while. If you can't get going again in 1st, stop making ice patches; try 2nd.
Honestly, we must be the most pathetic country in the world when it comes to dealing with a little bit of snow. (Of course, when I say 'we', I mean the southern English. Those of us who grew up in places where it snows quite regularly in the winter were the ones overtaking everyone else this morning - it was wet, not frozen, you... *spontaneously combusts*
And you try telling that to the kids of today...
I had to drive from Cumbria to Stratford-upon-Avon yesterday. Via Birmingham. Set off 4pm. Home at 11.00pm. I managed to avoid the B'ham gridlock, although I was delayed for a couple of hours on the M5. In the circumstances, I think I was lucky. But how I wish I'd seen the lighting storm!

And the poor chickens! They hate the snow and have remained tuck-tucked up in their hen-cot. I gave them extra portions of porridge this morning.
Ah, let's not get into the old "is snow a good thing or not?" debate, which as far as I can see generally splits neatly along the line that divides drivers from non-drivers. As a non-driving aesthetic type I naturally love snow and get very miserable when it goes. And I couldn't appreciate it last night for the 20 minutes that it existed because of a flatmate-related crisis (as usual). One day I shall live all alone in some kind of Arctic permafrost country. With a reliable Internet connection.
waaaaant
*sobs quietly at the thought*
36°C here today, and the storm blew out to sea before it could do anything interesting.
annoying flatmates
[BM]Are all your flatmates attention-seekers? You seem to have a lot of trouble with them.
I do, don't I? Ghastly stuff. They're not attention-seekers though, honest. This one suffers from depression and rather unwisely allowed herself to run out of medication last week, with predictably awful results. Add to this the remarkably unhelpful support for mental health in this country - I took her to A&E (she was really in a bad way) on, I think Friday night, but they were unable to give her anything and insisted that she see somebody on Monday. Quite what she was meant to do for the weekend, on a downer from lithium cold-turkey, was not made clear. In other news, my other flatmate is surviving at the moment, despite being in the throes of an increasingly nasty court case with a certain major organisation currently in the news for its arrogance and intransigence. My other flatmates are moving out and I have to find replacements for them. It's at times like this that I'm glad I work nights sometimes.
Let it snow
[Bread] Not guilty, m'lud. I like snow. I like to look at it. I like to go out in it (sometimes in my slippers); I've even once been out in it wearing less than my slippers. I like watching it fall, and I like driving in it - it's peaceful, and (if you're in a country where they know about driving in the snow) there's a general feeling of "We're all in this together, isn't it fun?" I just don't like driving in it in the Home Counties. I'm currently overhearing a conversation about last night, in which one of my colleagues, who clearly has an automatic car, is relaying how she kept phoning her husband every ten minutes because she was stuck in a snowdrift or halfway up a hill, and she didn't know what all those 'other gears' might do. *sigh*
Taking exception to disprove the rule
I, too, buck your trend, Bm, but from the other angle, being a snow-hating pedestrian. This makes just as much sense as hating it from behind the steering wheel, if not more: I went skating several times this morning quite unintentionally. But my views on the Englsih Winter are well-known from Dunx' Room 101 game, so I need add no more this year.
Ok, we'll let it slide.
I am willing to put up with snow, but having to walk over ice at 8:00 in the morning is a bit much.
slippery slope
I had to run! That was amusing, not!
I like ice!
Wheeeeeeeeeee!
Ice!
You slide across it for a metre or two into a neat crouching position ready to make the next snowball. Thus speaks the voice of experience.
Snow and all things white
I've just come back from 4 days in Prague (*quiet gloat*). The Czech people really know how to deal with snow and cold things in general, but they do have the advantage of not having so much ice. They just get on with it. Yes, its cold, Yes, snow is a pain in the arse but you can't help it so just get on with things (and drive a bit slower and more smoothly whilst you're at it). Sorry if I'm grumpy, think I've spent too much time with my mother!
grumpless Lib
You don't seem to be grumpy :-). I'd LOVE to go to Prague and I wouldn't mind going with my mother either. She provides possibly the most enriching and uplifting moments in my life. She is also very reliable. I am indeed fortunate.
*spare game slot removed due to lack of interest*
smiling Lib
(Chalky) Prague is wonderful. Please visit! I did have a lovely time there and normally things are great between us, just occasionally she gets on my nerves. But I've had a nap and now have things in perspective, I am a lucky littel cresenter to have had a holiday. However being away means I feel a little confused about the Hutton stuff.
*Rab: didn't see it there. If someone comes up with an idea do we get a second chance?*
monday night rocks!
IN a brief chat with Chalky just now, we discovered a new music genre ('Church Hall Rock' - obvious rhymes, twee love themes and heavy guitars) and a new word ('saccentuate', being over-saccharine). And in our Saturday morning flush of creativity, we also thought it would be nice to have some anarchy hit the chat room on Monday night. Just remembering how great rab looked in that long-haired wig from two or three pilgramges ago made me wonder if you lot might be up for a Heavy Metal Night? MC meets Spinal Tap...
[pen] Oh, yes, that wig, are there any pics?
Rock on
Pen] Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sounds good - but can I put in an early request for a Animated Cartoon themed epilg someday soon?
Wiggy
[Raak] I sent Dunx some a while ago, but they have yet to appear.

[All] I may well not be in the chatroom on Monday due to a visitation from my brother; on the other hand, it may not last alnight so I could make a late entry into the charts.

Oh, and...
[Tuj] Indeed you do.
Oh, I see!
[Bob the dog] Now I understand why I had no idea as to wether you were being sarcy in the "Lying Game": I thought it was some offshot of the "Advice" game on MCiOS. Sorry 'bout that.
Big fibs
Googolplex the Amazing Balancing Goat from Luxembourg] Hooray!
Toon Time
[Bog the dob] Take your pick. What would everyone else like to do? Can I be Musky from Deputy Dawg?
rassafrassarickarackets
I'd would come along as Klunk, from Stop the Pigeon, but my Viavoice seems to be having some trouble.

A return to the top for ffiish , thanks to this weeks special celebrity I'm Jordan Get Me on the Front Page

Cashed up
Well done, ffish. I have to admit that this last week I simply cashed in and sat. Not being in the U.K. it can be difficult at times - unless one wishes to spend inordinate amounts of time trawling news pages - so my apologies if I have let down the team.
Pick of the Week
Pen] I can see us getting into a "no, after you!" scenario. But I would like to be Touché Turtle. Or Boo-boo. Or...
cashing up
Dujon] I can understand your reasons, and there is no need to apologise, please play a while longer. If you need a rest buy into a couple of long term stocks that will be steady but will hit the headlines occasionally like the Queen or one or more of the Princes, perhaps J-Lo or a movie star like Russell Crowe. Maybe even a portfolio of three or four blue chips, even on a quiet week there will be a payout. Don't do what I foolishly did I bought a solid earner when they were too high, then their stock plummeted.
e-pilg
I'm all for a cartoon e-pilg tomorrow!
Crisis!
I've just woken up in the middle of my only lecture of the week to discover that while it is taking place in the confines of the institute at the campus, I have been 'happily' dozing back here at my flat. I am going to be in sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble! How did this happen?!
Only lecture of the week? What nonsense is this? Actually, come to think of it, when I was a student I had no compulsory lectures at all, but I still went to them. I'm not sure why.
Gah, I only turned my back for four years and Mornington Crescent Not At York Anymore is gone! This just will not do...
ZK - lateness
Say you were ill. Ring up and apologise, and go in tomorrow (or this afternoon) and get what lecture notes you can. You'll be fine!
So, did anyone else notice the product placement in last night's Auf Wiedersehen Pet?
Yes, but I've forgotten it. There was something where I thought "they can't mention that on the BBC!" but, er, no, it's gone.
placing products
Nope, missed it. What did they show? (BTW, hello Jenny! Have you found MCiOS yet? In case you haven't, just click here to find it. Also tonight from about 8 or 9 pm there is an e-pilg so you can join in if you click on the "Real time chat server" link just under the clock on that page.)
Things
Among other things, Moxey was resplendent in an MC5 t-shirt.
product placement
Oh, no, that wasn't it.
MCiOS
I dimly remember Parslow actually. Blimey, it looks like Kevan is still around. I have a couple of OMD albums that once belonged to him...
neither a lender nor a borrower..
Oh, so you're one of those naughty people who don't return albums! (I'd have nagged you to death myself, but maybe Kevan went off OMD) So where have you been for 4 years?
[ZK] Were you supposed to be teaching it or attending it?
Now the truth can be told
[ZK -- how it happened] I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you ought to know. If you had attended that lecture, you would have met the love of your life and lived a happy life together. However, the son you would have had would eventually grow up to be an evil despot worse than any seen before in human history, responsible for the annihilation of 90% of the human race. Therefore, time travellers from that blighted future came back to last night and laced your drink with large quantities of tranquiliser, ensuring you overslept and missed the lecture, thus averting the creation of that timeline. You may be in trouble now, but think of the far greater calamity that has been relatively painlessly averted.
Seriously, hope you don't get in too much bother over it. (Assuming an "Attending" answer to Raak's Q:) Do they take a register or is it a small enough class that absences are noticeable? What are you studying that only has one lecture a week?
Kevan's albums
I deny it! I paid for those albums fair and square. I could have had his old Modern Romance 12"s as well, but passed.
albumming around
[Jenny]Oh, that's alright then. :) Do you still listen to them?
all my friends want to do my course
{Breadmaster, snorgle, Raak, Brendan] They take a register every week - I have lots to do but it only takes the form of a lecture once, the rest is done in classes (language etc.) I'm doing a Classics BA. As it was, I wasn't feeling well, and told my friend to apologise to my other tutor later today and get everything from that class for me. I caught up on some (apparently) much-needed rest until my flatmate decided that the whole of Birmingham wanted to hear Evanescence and Avril Lavigne at such a volume that you could almost tell what the record producers were eating on the other side of the booth when they were making the song. Yippee.
But I'm still not happy as my lecture is the only historical input they get every week, and one of our lecturers said that the lecture register is one of the first things that alerts them to the fact that you're having problems with your course...ie that you're a layabout. [Brendan] Thankyou, I needed that. :)
We are the Albumen
Not that often, but then the same goes for most of my collection really. I'll probably dig them out now.
[rab] Er... yes, you're right, aren't you? Note to self: pull finger out.
[ZK] My best excuse for not attending Uni lecturers was to claim I was boycotting them. This did not perturb my tutors in the least, acclimatised as they were to student politics. They didn't ask the reason.
And really, you know, it's about time they started using webcams to narrowcast the lectures anyway. I've attended several sessions at the University of Washington (where I'm not even a student) via this method.
Crashin'
Something went wrong with my connection to the epilg again last night. Was it a good-un?
Watersports
Not sure how it compares to others, but I enjoyed my brief visit. I'm a bit worried about some of the late night tv programmes that snorgle watches, shocked I am!
piercing
I was bored, ok? I don't do that everyday, oh no. Not at all. ;-)
last night, he said...
Sorry about my non-participation. I had a chat going on that required all my attention, but I think there *might* be a positive outcome :o)
pen
Oh good! It sounded like something was going on..
*Mimes well done penf - keep us up to 'date' ;o)*
too late
Didn't make it back from Birmingham in time to join you - maybe there's a transcript to read?
Last night
[penfold] Sorry I ran out the second you appeared, wasn't really s'posed to be there. [snorgle] I saw bits of that programme too - my housemate was pretending to be 'reading some academic research papers with the telly on in the background' when I came in from the pub. Incidentally, a present from DrQ has arrived, so could you drop me a line so we can organise duplication and distribution (rab at angrycake dot com).
Who's pink?
Bob the dog
Pink the panther
I never really got started before it went all pear-shaped.
Tannoy
[snorgle] Thanks for your mail - sadly I'm unable to reply as requested cos you neglected to put your desired return email address in. Any chance you could supply the same? Cheers.
pilg requests
Last night Lord of the Rings was mooted as a possible theme for a future week, though I think this was just snorgle wanting to dress up as an elf, in stockings and a tight leather jerkin.
national elf service
looks shockedhowever did you guess?!?
soooooo...
How does one get onto an e-pilg?
e-pilg
[R5] See here. Look just below the clock to see the link to the 'real time chat server'.
Fabulous. Ta!
oh-oh
[Dujon] are you sure you really wanted to tell a Righwraith where to find everyone?? :-)
gah. Ringwraith, it was
wraith of Bob
[Dujon]That was a bit unwise, you know. I'll have to draw him away from the ringbearer(whoever could THAT be?).
Wraith of who?
snorgle] Not guilty!
wraithful
They are all around..
Heresy
I didn't like 'The Return of the King'. Am I alone in this?
RoTK
[Bob] There has been extensive discourse on that very subject in Orange MC [Chat Game].
N E W G A M E ? ? ?
May I express an interest here? Any chance of an MC game? I rather like Kim's idea of a couple of weeks ago.
NG
[Chalky] Could you remind us what that suggestion was?
alone all alone
Bob] I doubt it. I haven't seen it, and have no plans to. I have an aversion to things that become so popular.
Of course, I went to their very first gig in the car park of a sewage farm
[st d] Just curious; what happens if something you like becomes popular after you started liking it? Do you go off it, or do you think "Yay, it became popular, people have occasional flashes of good taste after all"?
Harry Potter? Pah! I knew his parents...
I think std has a point. Once things become too popular, all of their imaginative juices are sucked out by hype and marketing.
tarry ye a while in knip
Chalky] If I may be so bold as to enquire of you fair maiden, whither this be the poste ye didst refer? whilst thou is here, try this Ye Game of ye Crescent Morningtown on Orange
MC
[rab, Inkspot] Yes 'twas the very thinge ... or Cockney Rhyming Slang MC ...
Newgame
Inkspot's right. My idea for a new game a couple of weeks ago was for a revival of "Ye Crescent Morningtowne" from a couple of years ago. Since then, I've had two other flashes of inspiration mundane ideas.
Idea 1: "Claim to Fame". First person posts a (possibly actual, possibly fictional) claim to fame (eg "My father once interviewed David Cassidy" (this is true)) and the next person tries to better it in some way. Needs refining.
Idea 2: Problem page: first person posts an unlikely-sounding "Dear Marge" problem and the next person provides some humourous advice.
Hey, I'm an ideas man; I leave it to the little people to work out the details!
popularity
Brendan] I suppose the example that springs to mind is The Italian Job which is a movie i vividlu recall watching when I was about ten years old, then when it came on TV again when I was about 17 I made sure to tape it. (this will be about 1988 ?) I always loved that movie - then recently (last 5 years) it became the epitome of Clerkenwell Cool, which I found irksome. What is annoying I think is that ten years ago I could have said to someone "watch this movie it is great". Now, it is no longer anything special, which is a shame
Funnily that reminds me that I watched Charade at the weekend - another film that I love that I had seen a long time ago - tjough one that has not gained the *cult* status of Italian Job. It wasn't quite as good as I remembered which was a little dissappointing - though still it is fabulous.
Bob] I am not sure if it is the hype and marketing. Maybe. Mayeb I am just a snob ? Its like holiday destinations. As soon as they become discovered my the MOB they lose their charm.
KIM] but can we ever do better than this :-PROBLEM PAGE - Ask a Navy Seal
LOTR
I enjoyed the film - although I can certainly see how a lot of people would find the first hour boring. I really feel that this is an excellent interpretation of the book(s) - the story is so extensive, it needed a huge film to do it justice. I don't get put off by something being popular - if I like, I don't care how popular it is, although its annoying when people assume you're jumping on a bandwagon because it happens to be fashionable.
Ye newe gayme
Crescente is certainly a possibility; personal problems were solved by Mrs Trellis a while ago on Orange. Meanwhile there's an idea going around at MCiOS at the moment that might be appropriate. Whatever, I'll open my slot. Please, someone, do fill it.
Second Thoughts MC
I'm sure I posted here about half an hour ago .. ah well. It was along the lines of .. why repeat games which have been played SO well [the Morningtowne link] and surely there's a limit to how much humour/wordplay you can squeeze out of a theme?
Has cockney slang been played recently?
Trappist games are fun.
[St d] Is Navy Seal a one trick pony?
oo-er missus!
[rab]fnarr fnarr!
Way-hey!
rabsnorgle] Gibber gibber!
Game for a ...
I want to play a game of Superghosts; I just don't think it would work.
I am Mr Chirpy-chops!
I was not put off by the popularity. I have never really liked that kind of fantasy stuff so I did not enjoy the books. Yes, I was conscripted to D&D clubs in my 6th form days - and I do enjoy some intelligent SF (Rendezvous with Rama, The Seventh Angel, Danny Darko), but hobbits never appealed. I enjoy some BIG Hollywood films as much as continental/independent/low-budget/arthouse ones – Central Station being a fave - so I was hoping for some rip-roaring SFX and a glorious ending. 'Fellowship' was OK, a bit laboured on the scenery and a half-hearted ending but enjoyable. 'Towers' was excellent. Full of humour and wonderful effects (although tree-beard was a bit 1970s Dr Who). Nah, the worst of the bunch was 'Return' - overacted, over produced and over here. The final scene was so laboured (filmed in perfume commercial-style soft-focus slo-mo) I was hard-pressed not to giggle. I was disappointed.
And another thing. I rented a film called Identity recently and enjoyed it. So can we have the "Seen any good movies?" game back?
Movies
Books = movies, as far as the 'recently' game at MCiOS is concerned.

If you see what I mean.

OK, I'll just stick a sock in it.

hoo hoo hee hee!
[rab]Ooh, dunno if that'll be enough to fill your slot, though!
50 ways to .... fill a slot
1] Put a sock in it. *chuckle*
I have unashamedly nicked Kevan's game idea [MCiOS chat] which rab referred to earlier. There seems to be some support for it.
*wonders how much inside knowledge snorgle has of my slot*

I take it these ways will be a bit ironical, like.

50 rhymes
... and we have to do the rhyming name bit aswell?
*mist clears*
[Chalky] Thanks, didn't get the reference you see!
[rab] I posted that last [above] as a suggestion and didn't realise you had already started the game off ... so Iwent ahead with the rhyme for No 2
Wot makes you think I'm a miserable basket?
And I was hoping for a Room 101 revival. Sundays! They should go into room 101, along with golf, the film 'Titanic', Paris, powerdressing, LotR, anything New-Age, fake leaded windows, wet cardboard, Bromsgrove, stew, BMWs, motorway service station gifts, nasal-hair, McDonalds, ties, self-assessment tax forms and diets. On the bright side, I have lost (nearly) 1 stone since I started.
Btd] If I was Paul Merton I'd give you all of those bar the first, fourth and sixth (though I might let "the excessive hype surrounding ..." in). But what's wrong with Sundays? Best day of the week, is Sunday (unless you're trying to travel by train, admittedly). Well done on your success with the diet.
golf
Golf is a great game. The problem with golf is the type of people who join golf clubs.
And on the seventh day...
Sundays. Epitomised by that huge expensive waste of time and money, Sunday papers. Like the day itself, they are full of nothing and go on forever. Retail therapy is out of the question as the only shops that open on Sundays (in my area) are the big chain-stores, and they, with no exceptions, are all contenders for room 101. Then there is that dull grey Sunday afternoon feeling when you desperately seek out something to take up your time that has nothing to do with the work you have to do for Monday morning.
In my childhood, Sundays were often spent at aunts houses, being fed over-rich cake and stewed tea from willow-pattern china to the dead-slow ticking of a Westminster chimes mantelpiece clock. Ah ha! Another contender for room 101, ceramic figurines. I remember having my hair brushed by my aunts. They did it so hard that great hand-fulls of hair would come out. They'd introduce my brother and I to their friends daughters in the hope of sparking childhood romances. When you are eight, that is scary.
When I was a student, Sundays were a little better. You can take a friend to bed for a whole day. But I'd usually do that on a Saturday and work or do my laundry or visit relatives on Sundays. In my first job I had to work on Sundays. As I did with my second and third. Now I'm self-employed and I should be working on Sundays. I (day of un) rest my case.
Well I think Sundays are sexy.
black sabbath
Sundays are cool so long as you've done all your work by then.
Sundays are the day for getting out in the weather, getting a lot of fresh air all in one go and having messy hair, because Sunday night is bath night! I tend to be scruffier on Sunday than a Saturday, which is a habit stretching back to when I was a kid, and used to cycle out to my grandparents in the country to spend the day helping my grandad with his horses. Am I the only kid who grew up in anoraks and wellies and never really lost the habit?
[Bob the dog] You mean, of course, the first day. Saturday's the seventh, which is why Saturday is the Sabbath.
pen] yes.
Sunday tactics
[Btd] The trick for dealing with Sundays is to get steaming drunk and stay up really late on Saturday night, and thus sleep through most of Sunday, and what you are conscious for, you'll be able to fill with pain, nausea and regret. And then running around washing clothes, pots, etc in preparation for the return to work on Monday.
Sundays are for doing all the work you didn't get to through the week.
No, Sundays are for sitting around feeling guilty that you're not doing all the work you didn't get to through the week.
Sundays are for feeling guilty that all the work you did do during the week merely goes to increasing human misery in the long run.
[Jenny] Are you an estate agent?
human misery
[penelope] Teacher, I bet Jenny's a teacher.
Allow me to act as medium for the following telepathic message...
Dear 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' mailing list member, If you are free on the evening of Sunday 29th February, live in the London area and are keen not to miss the final recording of the next series of Barry and Graeme's 'Hamish & Dougal - You'll Have Had Your Tea', you can get free tickets to the show from the BBC Ticket Unit. See details below. All the best (and apologies if you live too far away to come) Jon Naismith & Janet Staplehurst. GET YOUR FREE TICKETS to witness for yourselves the further exploits of Hamish & Dougal in the final recording of the second series of their hilarious Radio 4 comedy “You’ll Have Had Your Tea” starring Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden with Alison Steadman as their housekeeper Mrs Naughtie & Jeremy Hardy as the local Laird. Fans of their many appearances in Radio 4’s “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue”, will be thrilled to hear that Hamish and Dougal, those delightfully eccentric and frequently misunderstood Scotsmen, are to make a second series of their own radio vehicle. For a rollicking laughter-fest and more jokes than you can shake a stick at come to The Cochrane Theatre, Southampton Row, London WC1B 4AP (nearest tube: Holborn)on Sunday 29th February Doors open 7.15pm - Show starts 7.30pm To claim your free tickets – simply telephone the BBC Ticket Unit on 020 8576 1227 or email radio.ticket.unit@bbc.co.uk or apply online at www.bbc.co.uk/tickets
Woe! Whoa!
Not a teacher, I work in educational supplies. But I've rather lost faith in the education system recently.
A good dump
In my youth, having been a dumpee a few times, I speculated that it was much easier being on the dumping side, since you knew it was coming. When catapaulted into the opposite position, I realised that being dumped is, in fact, considerably simpler, since you didn't know it was coming.

Why do I mention this, you ask? Every so often I'm asked to review papers for academic journals, and until today I've never had cause to recommend a rejection... and for some reason I feel rather bad about doing so. But then, we can't be accused of falling standards now, can we?

rejection
[rab] It's what publishers have to do all the time, but still not pleasant to be in the judgement seat. Do you know, or are you likely to meet, this person?
It's not nice to be negative, but then you can't reward bad work, can you?
Or you could reject another - as two negatives make a positive!
Red-inked
[rab] You'll get over it. Consider it a necessary herd-thinning.
can we still be friends?
[rab] Count yourself lucky that the editors are sending you such good papers. In my field at least, rejection rates in the top journals run 90-95% or so. I certainly have to recommend rejection much more often than acceptance.
Nul points
[rab] It's positively a public service to see that rubbish doesn't reach print. In the past I've rejected several papers for triviality, several for technical slipshoddery, one for outright crackpottery, and one for unwittingly reproducing (but not as well) some of the results from a certain fundamental paper that hardly anyone has read but everyone cites (including the authors of the rejected paper). I assume your refereeing process is anonymous?
Too much empathy
Rab] It is not quite the same thing I know, but I dislike interviewing for the same reason. Up to ten people, probably five of which have high hopes for the job have put in a great deal of time and effort to make themselves presentable and revealed a great deal of personal information about themselves are then put on trial for one position. Nine have to be turned down or 'put on file'. I hate it.
Half empty or half full?
[Btd] Does it work to think instead of the benefit done to not only the successful candidate, but all the other employees of the company (university, etc.) by appointing the right one?
Personal Motivation
[Btd] My motivator was just that I would have to work with whoever was hired, and I didn't want to have to carry them. But then the last bit of intensive interviewing which I did was for a contractor position, so it was much less about the person and much more about the skills.
Stuffing
[CdM, Raak et al] I agree... The number of times I've read stuff that's been published thinking "How on earth did this get through?" means that, having been hit with something like that there is only one response. I would say more, but I fear any attempt at anonymity would go through the window.
Why?
I would be interested in the opinions of fellow posters - I have thought about this from time to time but I don't think that I have actually posted my opinion.  Why, when our User Names are posted in bold type do we insist on then using HTML tags to match the entry?  To me it really does make the entries rather hard to read.  This does not apply only to this site.  Why do we do this to ourselves?
Confused
[Dujon] I'm not quite sure that I understand your question - no, actually I am quite sure that I do no understand! What do you mean by "match"?

If you mean "Putting game moves in bold" then the answer is "to make an actual move stand out from any by play and commentary". That's about the only interpretation I can place on your query, but I'm still confused to be honest.

Ahhh (maybe -- maybe I've missed the point entirely)
[Dujon] Are you by chance referring to games like Advice, 10,000 Celerity CDs, the various poetry ones, etc. where practically the entire game is written in bold, as opposed to the MC games where having the moves picked out in bold is useful? Would you prefer to see more games take the style of, say, Auckland and 50 Ways, to take two recent examples?
Convention
[Dujon] I, too, am slightly unsure precisely what you are asking, but a bit of historical input might be called for. In the early days, there was basically no markup, but this caused a problem as if you simply made the comment "and I reckon we can reach Mornington Crescent in three from here" the game would end. So to prevent this problem, it was decided that the moves should be marked up so the server could work out the actual move made amongst the other text. This has the side-effect that moves are also more obvious to the observer. In non-MC games, early posters seem to set the convention for that game. There seems a general trend towards those games where commentry is inappropriate to be played unemphatically (e.g. Auckland). All this is self-organising however. As to displaying the player name in bold, well, I think it just looks better, and allows you to see more clearly where moves start and end - this is most useful in these chat games. I have a vague recollection that York (at least in its early days) didn't mark up the player name.
interviews
I know of someone who apparently used to just take about half the CVs received for consideration and chuck them in the bin, saying "I really don't want to give this job to an unlucky person". Harsh, but amusing.
markup
(cross posted from MCiOS, after spotting that you wanted us to reply here) [Dujon] There is quite often a legit reason for doing this. Sometimes you want to separate your move from your commentary about your move (as in MC games themselves), so you'd tend only to embolden your actual chosen move, and then refer to other stations which are relevant in italics. If you look at the York archives, you'll see this is a practice that grew up over time. The same thing happened with limericks, to enable the submitted line to be distinct from comments (and heaven knows that's always helpful with some of the scansion round 'ere). It's become useful in other context to the extent that it's now hard-wired in the system to a certain extent, with Dan's advice-o-matic looking for material only that's marked up with b tags. So there's a sort of logic at work there. I suppose we could use i tags instead, but I tend to find italic text just that little bit more fiddly to read on screen.
Yes
I was referring to the readability of various games. Particularly those where a bold user name is immediately followed by a bold post (which was what I meant - although poorly expressed - by 'matching'.) Given the explanations given by the site owners I now understand that there is a reason for this particular method of operation. I shall now shut up.
* Please ignore the second 'given' *
*ignores*
Hadn't even noticed it!
Well, my damning report is written... just ensuring the English is authentically bad so my tracks are covered.
Don't publish and be damnned
rab] You are not un-spellchecking the academic journal you have rejected are you? ;o)
Tnny
[Chalky] Ml rcvd, rpns snt. If it doesn't get through this time then perhaps my mail server doesn't like talking to yours.
just two things ....
[rab] Your mail server likes my inbox :-)

... and [Bob] Is the ISIHaC weekend in May still a runner?

Well..
Chalky] Well I hope so. MF sent me some fabulous scripts and there was a great deal of interest initially. I've never been on a pilg and I didn't realised until reading through the posts on Orange that they can be like mini ISIHACs but far less 'organised'. I began to feel like I was being too prescriptive about the whole thing.

The other problem was finding reasonable low-cost accommodation for those staying over. The hotel I first chose quoted £35 per night, but then told me that was per person without breakfast. A twin room with breakfast was priced at £75. Then I tried a pub called 'England’s Rose', 'cos it had real ale, was in a nice location and had lots of rooms and camping space. But when I visited it, it was a full on Princess Diana theme pub and every time I asked how many rooms and what the pricing was I got a different reply. So it was back to the drawing board and now I'm (fortunately) very busy. Fortunately because I've just gone self-employed. I have wondered about a youth hostel - very basic (bring your own sheets/sleeping bag) but very cheap and lots of fun. Any takers?
I'd be happy to stay in a youth hostel. If it's one of those where people share dormitories, though, I'm afraid I have to warn people in advance that I snore...
youth hostels
Keep in mind - they tend to have curfews - and from personal experience, other hostellers can get very grumpy if you're just 5 minutes late finishing off a shower and getting into bed after lights out.
Middle-aged hostels
Some hostels are party bookable. I'm looking into that. As for shared rooms, I've never been to one that had private rooms, but that can be part of the fun, snorin' and all. Otherwise - its ears to the ground trying to find a reasonable hotel. Has anyone had any experience of conference or group booking?
me
[Bob] So we're looking for an inn, preferably, with a large enough meeting/conference room and bed & breakfast at a reasonable price [say £30]. West Midlands? Which Saturday did you decide on? How many approx? I ask all this because ... I'm doing a freelance job at the mo which enables access to this very information; also at home I have 24 hour internet plus free UK phone calls. I can't promise anything, but I'll have a scout around.
Chalky the star
Chalky] WMids, cos it is central and we may have folks from Manchester and London - so Motorway access would be good. Saturday 29th May, Approx 15 (but good chance of more). Function room not essential if there is a decent pub nearby that has a spare room. Piano would be nice but not essential 'cos I may be able to borrow an electric one. If you do find something, I can visit to check it out, unless you live in the WMids too!
hurtle
Oh, a hotel every time for me. Getting too old for Youth Hostel larks. Still if there's a YH and hotel/B&B in reasonable proximity I guess there's no reason for people not to have a choice.
prescription charge
[Btd] I don't think you're being too prescriptive. I think it'd be nice to try something a bit more organised than usual, and the regular pilgs continue for those who prefer their fun more improvisatory.
Pro Joy
:o)
a splash of cold water
[Bob, PJ] I'm in South Wiltshire, not so far away and yes - I'm all for hotel accommodation, provided it's cheap and clean. However, it is already evident from certain inquiries I've made, that, being a Bank Holiday weekend, we may be more restricted in our choices. Also, for those that need to travel some distance ... it's a popular 'getting away from it all' weekend = traffic chaos. Just a thought.
It comes of having an electronic organiser rather than a paper diary...
Oh gershplatz, I hadn't realised it was a Bank Holiday. I think bank hol weekends are best avoided so rethink time. Check for dates June 5th, 12th and May 22nd then. Please.
dates
OK - June 5th is the last Saturday of school half term [although this varies from county to county] so that may affect things slightly. To start the ball rolling - I'm up for May 22nd.
directory enquiries
... sorry for multiposting - but can anyone recommend a decent directory enquiry number? I've a long list of possible venues but no telephone numbers and I feel it's better to ring up and establish a basis for negotiation, before checking them out.
Yes
Try the phone co-ops 118 114. It is cheap, quick and reliable.
Phone numbers
I preferred 118118, because I rather liked their ads and their chief executive, when interviewed on TV, seemed a lot more straightforward and fair than his opposite number at 118888. However, I've found 118888 to be far more reliable when it comes to actually finding numbers.
DQ
[Chalky] Can't you find these numbers free-of-charge on the web? Sometimes typing the name of the venue (quoted) into Google comes up trumps. Then there's the BT, Yellow Pages and Thomson Local Directories too...
PS
I've just watched a video of atoms bouncing up and down on videotape. I wanted to ask the Prof why he's stuck in the 1980's and doesn't use DVD instead :)
The MC un-convention
I was about to suggest the Hotel Portmeirion, but have just checked the prices and am still shaking and sweating.
transport of delight
Is there something to be said for having the affair somewhere within reach of public transport, as for those of us who don't drive, taxis can really add a bit of a premium. Possibly (and aptly) on a branch line someplace?
numbers and possibilities
Thanks all - and yes, rab, I did just that.
OK - already there's a possibility - Brownsover Hall, Rugby [where the M1 & M6 meet] which is a gothic mansion! Nice people. They can accommodate us on May 15 or May 29 [unfortunately they have a very large wedding on May 22] for a group rate of £35 per head which includes full English breakfast. Also a bonus - NO single room supplements for those that would rather snore privately. There's a choice of two private rooms we can use as well, both near the bar [Boddingtons, Flowers - dunno if they're crap beers or not]. There IS a smallish wedding on the 15th, so we shouldn't be too conspicuous by our jollity. No deposit needed - just a written confirmation from me.
Cor, sounds great. I'm in for any of those dates.
Non fat cat
Bread] I prefer the phone co-op because it is owned and controlled by its customers. I've had more problems with both 118118 and 188888 than 118 114, and it is cheaper than both.
directions and a pic
Hope I've got this right.
[PJ] It's 2 miles from the station - I'm sure someone will pick you up :-)
Location location location
[Chalky] Looks like a good venue, eminently walkable from the station (so Projoy won't have to splash out on taxis). Transport links look good to.
Brownsover
Chalky] That was my first choice! Are you good at price negotiation? They did not include breakfast when I asked. I agree, it is a great potential venue.
taxisplash
[rab] How dare you. I've never splashed out in a taxi! That's just a rumour!
[Btd] I thought the name sounded familiar, but couldn't put my finger on it.
smiling
Well I've got to disappear for a while. Can everyone who is interested confirm which of the two dates - 15th or Busy Bank Holiday 29th? .. and [Bob] you have a list of potential players, yes? Just need to know how many singles and how many doubles to book, if we eventually decide on the venue. Blimey - I've turned into a right bossy boots ...
I can do either date. So there! :)
Dateline
Me too, I think. [Thos] Look at you!
As far as I'm aware, either date is good for me as well. Hurrah! Where's MCiOS gone (*me goes to look on orange*)?
(Oh, it's back now. Odd)
Serendipity
I actually couldn't do the 22nd anyway - I'm off seeing Bill Bailey that night. Whee!
Interest
The list so far is:
Chalky (!)-
Lib* -
Boolbar* - (possibly - he has not yet responded to my email - his work is monitoring internet use)
Merlyn
Projoy* - One of the 'Humphs'
I’m not John* -
LotUS* -
Herr Bratche* -
Blamelewis* (Recording the event)–
Martha Farqua* (? - recommended as a 'Humph' has already written a wonderful script.)-
Unkle Korky* -
Nik -
JLE - (Piano)
Thos -
ZK (Possibly now the date has changed)
st dog* (Unlikely, but I think it would be good if he agreed to be one of the 'Humphs'.)
* I have their email address. If you are interested and not listed, mailme. ISP and Dunx have agreed to contibute towards scripts.
ever lengthening list
and rab? and you, Bob?
*slight panic* and more girls please? pen? and the snorg?
[Chalky] I'm a girl. I'll check out the dates.(Angus...not a word now) What exactly's involved at such a gathering? My wit is a much-deliberated thing, it's not quite as spontaneous among strangers...*example* ZK opens mouth: blather bleeble eep...fnar...
[ZK] Part of the point of this gathering is that the opportunities for wit are more deliberative, since players will have some idea of the games ahead of time.
super-plig
Unfortunatly as yet I can't commit either weekend. At the moment both are free, but I have my brother's fiancee's hen night to factor in (and work). Am trying to get a date decided for the hen night, but am between the rock and hard place till then.
Question also - what kind of age is everyone else? without wanting to be too personal about it all. you can answer within the 10-year bracket of course (20s, 50s....)
Yes - ZK, I knew you were a girl :-)
I'm also pretty dumbstruck when faced with new people and situations, but then I'm only 16.
Well I haven't had a holiday in years, and would love to come meet you all and have you laugh at my accent. It isn't hugely likely, but there's a possibility - more for the 29th than the 15th I think - although I do seem to recall Britain being even more expensive than most places.
[Chalky] Are you being sarcastic? I never can tell.
Wait!
They let 16 year-olds drink that much brandy?
[Toby] ... particularly with the exchange rate as it is. Can't say I'm looking forward to the phenomenal cost as and when I get back to Blighty. Not that I know when that might be, of course.
Numbers - format
Ooops, yes and rab and me. Lib - I do hope you can come! Pen wrote to me to say she will probably be at race meetings throughout May.

Going back to format (ZK + all) - ISIHAC in real life is semi-scripted. The game introductions are scripted and players are warned weeks beforehand of the games they are to play. So - if I there is to be a game of 'late arrivals at the proctologists ball' players are warned in advance and have time to put down some amusing answers to read out.
[chalky] Teachers are getting younger and younger, aren't they? Personally I'm about 65, at least on the inside.
Yes
I'm a yes.
why use one word when a hundred will do ...
[ZK] Sorry, sarcasm or irony doesn't really transfer onto the screen. Although I'm fairly confident with strangers in my areas of expertise [!], meeting in a social context is a different matter, so yes, I tend to blush and stammer. I've never quite grown out of it. Regarding age, I'm relatively new to the Crescent, so can only assume that most of the regulars here are between the ages of 23 and 45, with the hardcore 'originals' in their thirties. But having said that, I know that Rosie and Duj and possibly Software, are older. Conversely, quite a few undergraduates post in here. Perhaps someone who has been around for more than 5 years can correct me on that? As Breadmaster indicated, the wrapping is meaningless - it's what's inside that links us together.
ZK] You can be The Lovely Samantha. That does not require any wit, though if a player is late you may have to sit on his seat until he comes.
Ages
I'm 27, and have been playing MC over the net for about seven years now.
Humphing
[st d] You are the scriptwriter for Humphrey Lyttleton and I claim my £5.
[ZK] I'm in my late thirties, which excludes me from auditioning for the role of Samantha. :o(
Oldtimer
I discovered online MC shortly after I discovered the world wide wait web in 1995. At the time I got the impression that most people, like me, were students having (a) a lot of time on their hands and (b) unfettered access to the Internet (this was before yer average Joe had a modem, for example). The fact that the York usage stats dropped dramatically between June and September would bear this out. Nevertheless, I'm a mere 28! (Or is it 29, I've no idea).
No need to audition
I'm exactly the same age as Pen. Regarding Samantha, I have secured a guest appearance by the real Samantha, and the real Sven. Anyone who has been to a recording of ISIHAC will know just how exciting that is!
Either date should be fine with me as well. [ZK] I'm 23, having played on and off over the last 3-4 years. [BtD] Fantastic!
busying myself
[Bob] As you seem to have enough on your hands organising the artistic content of the event, are you happy for me pursue the venue booking, administration etc? Also, have we actually agreed on a date? Although the 15th May seems to be popular, I could make some enquiries about the 12th June?
The Lovely Samantha
But Bob, when i spoke to the real Samantha she told me that she was doing a charity bungee jump in Trafalgar Square that weekend. She apologised and said that she would think about us playing with ourselves whilst she was bouncing up and down on Nelson's column.
[st d] outrageous!
Age before beuaty
I'm 42, have been playing (mainly MCiOS) for 5-6 years, and listening to ISIHAC for 25! Hope to be there, family commitments permitting etc etc etc
Vital Statistics
I'm 34 at the end of the month, same day as Elizabeth Taylor and Brian Cant. They're both coming over.
Lovely indeed
st d] Ah, yes, but that was before the reprehensible outbreak of vandalism in the city that has led to Nelson being defaced. Samantha has kindly offered to help with restoration, including giving Nelson a bit of head. Sadly, despite her best efforts, Nelson will not be fully erect in time for her jump off, so she will be available to come to Rugby for a bit.
Samantha and Rugby
Having watched her perform, sheis truly a mistress of the hands-on approach, her ball play is awesome and she can catch a fly-half between her teeth like nobody's business. We could learn a lot from her.
PS
'That's Entertainment' has just started on BBC2. 140 Hollywood minutes of pure joy [I'll never get anything done now].
X-Post announcement
LAYDEEZUNGEMMUN - I refer you all to this page for details of a forthcoming concert - see the "Russian Giants" entry for details. We'll also be repeating the performance in the 29th in Shrewsbury Abbey. For ticket details see here. Thank you for your attention.
That IS entertainment!
Is that the thing hosted by Gene and Fred, or am I imagining it?
concerts
Well, that should be fairly easy for me to get to, I'm at the university. Where is this hall you speak of?
typical
would you believe that's the weekend of going-homeage?
Youth and experience
[Chalky] Either you're lying about your age (given your posting about Samantha), or teenage magazines are now to be found on the top shelf!
[HB] I was a child bride ;-]
re. BPO - you must be listed in the Current Players List - what instrument do you play?
Instrumentally
Bratsche (Ger.) = Viola (Eng.) I'm the one at the top of the list. Are you local?
I remember fondly the days when she used to invite me and Steve Irwin to her private estate in back-country Australia. How she used to enjoy having me deep in her bush as we both watched Steve playing with his snake.
Ooh my friend plays the viola!
translocation
[HB]You're principal viola then? Oh I say. I'm about a hundred miles south, but I occasionally work in Brum and have friends there.
violas
ZK] Maybe Herr Bratsche is your friend ? Had you considered that ? How spooky would that be ? I am a 94 year old woman.
[st d] Well, I had my suspicions...
ZK] that I was 94 ?
Yes.
Uninteresting tidbit
I have a very good friend who is a viola player. For years she did quite literally nothing else, but now she diversifies by also playing jazz double bass, which I consider to be a step in the right direction.
Did you hear about the gangster string quartet? They were charged with extracting money with violins.
[ZK] I think I'll be 27 by the time of the Pilg (based on a gnawing suspicion that I'm 26 at the moment).
Should Lib end up being unavailable (and public transport ends up being undesirable), I'd be happy enough to drive Northern types down. My car fits 4 passengers, in theory, and I have no reason to doubt it. As for playing a part, I think I'm best suited to propping up the bar and providing a laugh-track. And some vulgarity, if you're all unlucky.
[rab] The parser is getting HTML wrong, if I'm not mistaken - or is it deliberately replacing < with &lt;?
DeHTMLification
Aha! It's the preview, it seems.
celebdaq
[DrQu+xum]Who on earth do you own?? Here am I sitting raking in a veritable tabloid pittance....
Viola players
(Breadmaster) There is a cruel joke amongst muso's thus: "What do you call a viola player with Grade V1". "Gifted".
ah, viola jokes
What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
there's more!
A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
Ha ha ha ha ha
[ZK] If you want the full set, see here. Also has links to jokes about other musicians.
DeHTMLification confusion
[Nik] Do I take your second post as a kind of "everything's ok" or is there some "feature" I should investigate?
Old and wise?
[Thos] 34 on the 29th february? So, that'll make you 136 in real terms! Well done old man for hiding your age so well!
[ZK] There's a few viola players hiding around the crescent. I one of the very ametuer ones.
Young and foolish
And at times I'm also very ametuer at spelling and English. *blushes and hides cos of stupidity*
Middle fiddles
[Lib] If you apply sufficient pressure to JLE's gonads he will also confess ...
Shrewsbury
[HB] I knew there was a few of us! We will take over the world. Can I ask why Shrewsbury for the second concert. Its a lovely place but doesn't often get good concerts. (Its my home town, and according to my driving lisence I still live there!). Personally I think St Mary's church is a better concert venue, but the Abbey is lovely too. I will encourage my mum to go and watch you.
Shrewsbury Abbey
[Lib] Why? Why not! As for the venue, many moons ago we used to do a concert anually in the Music Hall. However, audiences were never good, and the management became less and less helpful, so we stopped going, and were never there for aout 10 years. However, venues come and venues go, and we found ourselves with a gap in the schedule, so approached a number of places, and Shrewsbury Abbey was (a) the right sort of size, and (b) had a helpful attitude. We went there for the first time last year, and got a respectable crowd, so will try again this year.
viola jokes
[HB] Where did you think I got them from? :)
The 'daq
[ZK] I bought a ton of Jordan well before IACGMOOH2 (Can you say £10+/share dividends for three weeks straight?) and picked up a ton of Janet Jackson the moment her tit hit the screen.
master of the boobiverse
ah...clever plan. i think I just didn't own enough Jordan...although she did pick me up a nice little dividend this week.
Natal Days
[Lib] Actually, my birthday is 27th of Feb. However, I am 136 as you state.
Caesar salad, anyone?
[Lib] Thanks to misreading, I now have a wonderful image in my head of you hiding the cos of stupidity. Is this for when you have no lettuce after your name?
Limericks
I'm not one to complain usually, but frankly the scanning of the lines in the Limericks game has really dropped off recently. I know others have mentioned it there, but some people seem to be revelling in some truly poor versifying (and in one or two cases actually doing so deliberately, I rather think). I'm offering no solution but I must say when I see a bad line being posted, I don't want to play.
[Chalky] I originally misread your comment: 'That's Entertainment' has just started on BBC2. 140 Hollywood minutes of pure joy as "140 minutes of Projoy".
Just getting it off my chest
I hate auditions. I'm terrible at auditions. I've just been cast as a dancer in Much Ado About Nothing because they couldn't be bothered to find me a part. How am I meant to get any other parts on the merit of this performance? I can't dance! A day for rejection, obviously...hmph. Casting directors really get on my tits, and believe me, that's quite a complaint....thankyou for you time.
140 of Projoy
submit it to Channel 4! You'll make a fortune! :)
140 Minutes of Projoy?
[Thos] I don't think BBC2 and the bulk of the British populace is ready for that. ;)
Slimericks
[Thos] We could close the limericks game, I guess.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I love limericks! can't we just ignore the bad lines and carry on? I think maybe we could impose a new rule that if you have more than one line you want to play you can, cos sometimes I have the perfect pair and can't use them. Please please please keep the limerick game! I'll be good!
DeHTMLification
[rab] The preview appears to translate < and > to &lt; and &gt;, therefore breaking HTML tags thereafter posted. Eg <br> becomes &lt;br&gt; in the preview, and hides completely in a posting after that. If that makes sense. Sorry, I've been in the pub since 1pm, since I was accredited by Microsoft in C# Windows development, and the situation isn't improving now I've reached home.
DeHTMLification
...except it's not doing it now. Bugger.
limerickety
It does appear to have been hijacked, rather.
Nothing simpler...
140 minutes of Projoy (as played by Peter Miles).
Arf
[PJ] That blows, Gabriel! Blows! [Rab] I would never advocate closing a limerick game, unless we opened another. But certainly it's a bit much at the moment...
And the third thing is..
Two things. First of all if a game is to close, how about Missive Trellis. Its been good but has slowed down considerably...

Secondly, Chalky - YES - I'll happily still co-ordinate the script writing and stuff if you can take on the organising of the hotel accommodation I'd be really grateful - email me (at the above link) and I'll send you the email contact details I have so that you can confirm numbers and make bookings. *Thanks*

Thirdly, I have to mention this. I've just watched a film on DVD called 'Belleville Rendezvous'. God it was wonderful. Please go out and rent it now - or better still buy it. st d if you are reading this - you'd love this film.
Bellvillious
Chalks, darling, it was on TV on Xmas Day, and was the best bit of TV over the whole holiday. Ruddy marvellous, eh?
if you have a few mins to spare or your bored!!
Have a listen to my solo effort at http://cornerband.com/html/bandPage/bandPage.asp?band_id=1035276 and have a very funky day................
Ein Test
[Nik] I can't reproduce what you describe so this must be a browser thing or perhaps some bizaree HTTP anomoly.

[Bob] Saw Belleville at the cinema, would have enjoyed it more had it not been missold. Maybe I should see it again sometime.

[All] Improve yer limericks, or the grim reaper will reap his rewards.

I've been drinking, does it show?

I'm currently planning on meeting the current celebration by going to Rockworld some time after I wake up today. Should anyone in the Manchester area fancy meeting up for a pint, my mobile number is 0776 26 141 70, or so my phone would have me believe.
[rab] I can't reproduce it either, but then I've no idea how I produced it in the first place. It will probably have to go down as One Of Those Things.
Rockworld
[Nik] I'll engage in a consultation exercise before I commit myself, but I'm definitely interested.
Shrewsbury in the Spring
[Lib and others] I must have been having a brainstorm - the BPO is playing Shrewsbury in April, not February, and our second performance of the "Leningrad" symphony is in Leominster Priory Church, Herefordshire. I've turned up to concerts without my DJ before, but I've never turned up to the wrong church ...
Gigs
(Herr Bratsche) BPO, eh? I'm impressed. No, seriously. But no need for DJ's when you play jazz - just the Big Band T-shirt and the right reading glasses (at my age anyway). My band, Force Ten, is at the Mick Jagger Centre in Dartford on Wed 10 March. A mixture and jazz and swing, some of it quite contemporary and funky. (rab) I'm with you on the limerick-improvement thing; some of them have been totally chaotic, but how do you propose to implement the death threat? :-)
... catching up
[Bob] I'll mail you sometime over the weekend :-)
[PJ] Joyous stuff indeed - was that the birth of your moniker?
[Thos (fellow Piscean) and limerick fans] Subtle and not-so-subtle hints regarding the metre seem to have little impact - pity, because the ideas are amusing and original. I, too, would hate to admit defeat by recommending closure.
[pen] That sure was Entertainment. MGM ruled. Have fun today ;-)
[rab] It didn't show. The drinking.

Thought for St Valentine's Day:
'If we let romance go,
We change a sky for a ceiling.'

Joy unbounded
[Chalky] Projoy appears to be the author (under his real name), and is playing Gabriel!
Projoyful
[HB] He's a particularly talented fellow. [Chalky] I think we'll just have to wait for the dry spell to end! :)
Monica
[Chalky] Yes, indeed. I wrote the script first, then, on discovering YorkMC a few weeks later, redeployed the name. Too good a name to waste on just one outing, I thought. :)
Ace
Projoy] Why is Sylvester called 'the Professor'? Is it a non-BBC spin-off copyright branding issue?
Ah - forgive me, I didn't do my homework and read the rest of the site. Excellent interview Projoy, I agree about Barbie.
Package
[Bob] Did you get yer package?
Bugs the bunny
rab] Yes thank you! I've emailed to say thanks - but I'd also like to thank Dr Q. I have just reached into my grab-bag of superlatives and find I have run out. You are both extremely kind, and I hope to repay you some day.
What's Opera Doc?
Oh my giddy aunt! Tears of mirth!
Die Tüns
Don't you think What's Opera, Doc? should have won an Academy Award? The producer at the time (Eddie Selzer) didn't have it considered. That and Hare-Way To The Stars were considered two of the best cartoons ever (both Chuck Jones-Maurice Noble-Mike Maltese creations.)
Hare Wagner
I thought Opera did win an award - but perhaps not an Academy award.
Whaddya expect in an opera?
[Btd] It was #1 on the 50 Greatest Cartoons of All Time.
A happy ending?
Deservedly.
Greatest cartoons
Opera is wonderful and so is Rabbit of Seville... but for me, nothing will ever beat One Froggy Evening.
belleville
BtD] I saw the last 15 minutes of it at Xmas and loved the animation. Will catch teh whole thing one day I am sure. I like your "st d if you are reading this" it made me feel like a hostage or a missing person :o)
I have just spent the best few days. We had our annual awards on Thursday, presented by Jack Dee who was very funny indeed ("this is the first time in a long time that my audience has had more money than I do" - our main sponsor was BENTLEY - they had their new CONTINENTAL GT on show, and sold THREE !!!! (£120K) - anyway - that was a 6am night, then was in gay paris for a 30th on Saturday which turned out to be possibly the best party I have ever been to. Full of lovely people all wearing something pink. What a great idea - the whole party co-ordinated. Photo heaven. ;o)
There you go. Pretty dull stuff to read about I guess, but I am happy today and thougt I wold share it (its such a rare thing).
sequiturs
(i guess that segued nicely from the "froggy evening" post)
Cartoons
I see number 37 is Bimbo's Initiation.
Nouveau Nyder
Peter Miles, eh? Camp old devil! And what a syrup!
[UK] Are you talking about Peter Miles pretending to be Projoy or Projoy pretending to be Peter Miles? :)
The 'daq
Did the do divvies early this week? I came in this morning and saw I had £55,000 free....
cheque is in the post
DrQu+xum]You were No1 on the League last Friday, I just need to upload the full results tonight. Its a very unusual top three!
My God.
Am I still here?
Are you having an existential crisis of some kind?
More divis
And finally we have confrmation of DrQu+xum at No1 on the daq without even trying!!!!
rab's 'moment'
*instantly assuming Aunty Chalky mode*
rabby rabbykins - you are! still here! and jolly glad we are about that!
er ... is that better now?
The 'Daq
[Inkspot] *thwap* I've only got 1/5 of my portfolio in the Jorda^H^H^H^H^HKatie Price Dividend Machine; the rest gets shuffled constantly.
breaking news
OK, here's an update on the dating front (as all those in the chatroom on Monday seemed so interested). The Valentine's Date with the mystery Frenchman was great fun and very enjoyable, although a rip-off at £30 per head for a meal that should have been more like £17 or £18. Last night he came round to help me put together a flat-pack desk from IKEA (2 minutes 37 seconds) and we drank too much wine. A word of advice here; don't ever ask a Frenchman for a quick demonstration of what makes them so good at French kissing, even in jest.
Hereness
[Breadmaster, Chalky] It was more a reference to my being at work until nearly 9pm last night.... (which was mostly my fault). Of course, cos the posting times aren't displayed on the page (yet) you can't know this :)

[pen] Well done.

french kissing
It wasn't really in jest, though, was it? You say "Oh, so, what's so great about the way you French kiss?" really means "Snog me till I can't breathe, you french love god!" Go on, be honest!
Wily Frenchmen
[pen] But did he steal your kidney? It's a Weebl & Bob reference.
I said kiddley, diddle I?
[rab] I was pretty impressed too. Despite my surprise at how quickly it went up, it's was as solid as a rock!
[DrQ] Not that I'm aware of...
[snorgle] my lips are sealed!!
reluctant medium (and unwitting cross-poster)
I'm getting a message from the other side...Advance details of the recording dates in the Spring Series of the programme. Tickets can be obtained only by telephoning the relevant theatre's box office: Sunday 18th April - The Orchard Theatre, Dartford Ticket prices: £9.50, £7.50, £5.50 Box Office tel: 01322 220000. Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS NOW ON SALE)
Sunday 2nd May - The Grand Opera House, Belfast Ticket prices: £8.50, £7.50, £6.50, £5.00 and 20 box seats at £11 Box Office tel: 028 9024 1919 Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS NOW ON SALE)
Thursday 27th May - The Lowry Centre, Salford, Ticket prices: £8.50, £5.50 Box Office tel: 0161 876 2000 or 0870 111 2000. Doors open: 7pm Shows starts: 7.30pm Shows finish: Approx. 10.30pm (TICKETS WILL GO ON SALE FROM MONDAY 23 FEBRUARY)
N.B. These are the only recording dates - the next series will be Autumn 2004 and has yet to be arranged
Is this for...
ISIHAC?
mediocrity
[rab] oh, the ball couded over before I could see for sure, but there was an attractive blonde with an electronic score card, and a sharpei dog as chairman.
Hello you
[pen] Right. Well, I'll probably try and get some tickets for the Lowry show (if I remember to call on Monday). Anyone else interested? (In fact, won't that be around the time of the Bobpilg?)
ISIHAC real or otherwise
[rab] Subject to confirmation, ISIHACThemeNightRugby is happening on the 15th May. More news to follow :-)
15 May
(diaries it)
ISIHAC Theme Night
CROSS-POSTING
[rab, Projoy, Thos, JLE, Nik, Lib, Boolbar, Merlyn, I'm not John, LotUS, Herr Bratsche, blamelewis, Martha Farquar, Uncle Korky, ZK, st dogmael] plus all interested parties:
Just to confirm that I am assisting Bob the dog with accommodation arrangements for the ISIHACPilg. A provisional block booking for twin rooms has been made at Brownsover Hall, Rugby for Saturday 15 May at the rate of £35 per head to include full English breakfast. As Bob is close to the venue, he will be checking out the size of the private function room, after which we can firm up on numbers, etc. I have email addresses of all except JLE, Thos, ZK & Nik. I will use my hotmail address exclusively for co-ordinating these arrangements, so just begin with kedavenport@ if you wish to confirm, deny, join in, etc. Needless to say [but I'll say it anyway] Bob the dog will continue to co-ordinate the Artistic & Creative Content of the event.
Knees-up
Excellent news, Chalks. I'll pencil it in me diary immediately!
the Artistic & Creative Content
Ooooh Daahling! You make me feel so Artistic & Creative!
Err...
Mini Cheddars has been hijacked. I think someone's trying to spoil our fun - especially mine....
Bob the Amazing Artistic & Creative dog & Kim the gaylord
[Bobluvvie] Yeah - because I was cross-posting [whilst in a very non-cross mood] it seemed best to reassure the Establishmentors [who probably haven't the foggiest who I am] that as a relative newcomer, I wasn't attempting to influence that side of the event.

[Kim] I didn't believe a word of it .... :-)

Att'n flerdle
If you are still about, flerdle, what's the weather doing to you 'up there'?
It's just after midday here and sitting on 40°C (104°F to you plebs!) Dry as a bone - humidity around the 10 to 12% mark. I note that DrQ and Pittsburgh are enjoying around 8 to 10°C - perhaps all our Nth American friends can go outside and blow south westwards?
Weather
Latrobe reported 15 today. That'll change in a hurry -- it'll be back to a maximum 0 by Sunday. Snow returns, just as that f**king groundhog said. :)
toasty
Hey Dujon, am still in Bris. It's currently at least 40°C with about 40% humidity. According to a table I can't find the reference for, this feels similar to about 50°C at your humidity level. Add 8°C if you're in the sun. I'm not.
Fantastic!
Just happy to know that I'm not the only one, flerdle! My temp has reduced and the humidity increased ... another horrible night ahead I think. (sorry, nights.)
[Dr Q} Groundhog, groundhog... where do I remember that from?
*melts*
Yeah, if it doesn't cool off at night time, it's not much fun -- we've had 26-27°C minimum for most of the week.
*shivers*
flerdle/Dujon] We had frost last night. I'll email you some as an attachment.
mmmmm ice
[BtD] I'd like that; today was warmer.
Thermal excess
(flerdle) Don't know how you stand it. I record weather (accurately, I used to be in the Met Office, now an amateur) and highest I've had in 21 yrs (and probably a lot more) here on the southern edge of London is 35.9°C on 10th Aug last. The minima at the time were typically 18°C. That was quite enough, for I are rather a sweaty little bugger.
On heat
[flerdle, Rosie] After my big whinge the other day we finished up with a reasonable temperature by late afternoon, but the humidity (naturally) went up accordingly, so it was an uncomfortable night. Sunday was reasonable temperature wise and the humidity - it actually rained late afternoon and most of the night - therefore quite acceptable. I did however see reports on the news about the continuing heat in the Brisbane area so, flerdle, you have my sympathy. It really must have been quite severe as the report was mainly about the elderly and the young having problems and the incidence of ambulance/hospital attendances.
hotted up
Yes, I heard (unverified) that at least four people died - I think they would have all been elderly or sick. Reports are that the heat is over, and we'll be down under 30 soon.
But, by then I will hopefully be in another country. Unfortunately, it is even worse there. Sources say that it doesn't get much worse than this, there, except the few weeks in the middle of summer when it gets into the high 40s. With high humidity, of course.

Great.

[Rosie] For Australian weather, you might be interested in the Bureau's site: www.bom.gov.au. I've been following this handy page there; for data from the last three days click on the appropriate weather station. It samples approx 10 minutely, but maxima or minima are sometimes between those times, such as yesterday's 41.7°C at a bit before 2pm.

The other extreme.
Latrobe, Pennsylvania (at Arnold Palmer Airport) currently reports -5 with broken clouds.
MINUS FIVE !
jeeeez - that's colder than Antarctica.
[DrQ] Ah, but that's American. Are they using some weird temperature scale that only Americans understand?
[Bm] Are you suggesting that Gdansk was under American occupation during the 18th Century?
[Bm] It could be Fahrenheit, which seems to be ubiquitous in the USA apart from within scientific communities. IIRC, -5F is pretty damn cold, that is (does a quick calculation) -20.5 recurring. Brrrrrrr.
[st d] It's late summer in Antarctica.
rising temperature
Funny thing, this differing scales of temperature malarkey. Last night, in the quiz - one of the questions was "At what temperature do both Centigrade and Fahrenheit read the same?" Could I get my head around that? Could I b*ggery.

Gusset - I'm SO pleased you like my name for you. I'm equally gratified that you haven't transposed the two words :-)

Temper, temper.
I meant -5 C, but it did hit -4 F last month....now that was Too Damn Cold™.

[Chalky] -40.
E-pilg?
It's Monday night and the e-pilg transcriber's awake! :)
cold
I know I have mentioned this before on one of these sites, but I was in Finland just over a year ago, and the first ten minutes of the Finnish evening news was all about how cold it was. They were interviewing people from Siberia who were complaining about the cold. I remember calculating at the time that we were down in the range where it didn't make much difference whether we were talking F or C. (It was down to at least -31C.)
Imperialist swine
[rab] Indeed I am, sir! I wouldn't put anything past them!
double guset
Nice one in the 50 Ways, Guest Login! Should've been fiftieth, that one. Any ideas for the next lot?
Straw Poll
Ladies and gentlemen... just to conduct a straw poll, if the top-left-hand corner of this page doesn't look (roughly) like this:

Could you inform. Obliged.

poll
Well, mine looks like that little mc5 symbol in a white square on a grey background.
I came, I looked
rab]Running IE6 I see the logo is on white background.
MC5 - Whoops!
Not on my IE or Firbird browsers, rab. I confirm Inkspot's comment regarding the IE6 background.
Bum
There's so many people who aren't getting the full smoothness of this site...
Corrections
I must be going bonkers. The Firebird browser shows a smooth and 'highlighted' mc5 logo, whereas the IE shows the same image but with the white rectangular background; sorry for any confusion.
Yeah...
It's a (fairly) specific (range of) version(s) of IE that don't render transparencies in pngs. I don't like gifs and I don't know how to set the default background colour of a png. Yet.
I came, I looked too..
rab]Running IE6 I see the logo is on white background too. What was clever was your screen capture insert!
*chuckles*
[Chalky] I don't even want to think about doing that
More from the bollocks department
I discover a shiny new magazine in my pigeonhole tomorrow, in which the new university logo' (for some reason, it has a trailing apostrophe in the article) was unveiled. Sadly, I can't track down a website with it on, but it looks a bit like this MANCHESTER with the number "1824" under the gold lettering. Vertically upwards and below to the left we have (on two lines) "The University" and "of Manchester" in a sort of matt grey sans-serif. In case we needed any explanation, here it is:
It features a simple, but distinctive, typographical treatment of the word "Manchester" that acknowledges the key feature of our brand and the way in which colloquially people talk about universities. ... The positioning of the full university title alongside the word "Manchester" is also a crucial element of the overall logotype, achieving a contemporary and consistent look whilst reinfocing the University's official name.
Later, we learn that "more detailed information about the reputation-building project and how to use the visual identity will be explained in a special leaflet and website". I will of course let you know when this happens.
(apologies for the bizarre timeshifting in the first sentence)
Money for old rope
[rab] I wonder which firm of consultants trousered the (no doubt) six-or-seven-figure sum for coming up with that!
[rab] Ah, but are you in the same situation as Nottingham where it's compulsory to use the corporate identity (and to make sure you're using the latest up-to-date one -- we recently had a wavy line representing the Trent River removed) on any materials designed for outside consumption (eg talk slides)?
I presume people read about East Midlands airport which wanted to get a new name everyone could identify. It's now called Nottingham East Midlands, despite the fact it's not in Nottinghamshire and the nearest places are Derby, Loughborough and Leicester.
Airport '04?
[Twiki] Are they getting American flights in? Most of us over here think they're "Durbee", "Low-burrow", and "Lie-cester"....
PNG!
[rab] No IE (on Windows, anyway. Dunno if IE5/Mac works) supports transparent PNGs. [Dujon] There's something wrong with your Firebird if it doesn't support transparent PNGs - Firefox is the way forward, of course. There are actual usability and performance improvements post-0.8.
Amazing coincidence! Maybe
[Chalky] I just noticed your email thingy up above. I used to live opposite a girl called Karen Davenport, about whom I recall nothing except that her house had great pillars at the front. Was that you? Thought not.
Chalky!!!!!
Many happy returns of the day!
Firefox
[Nik] Surely you mean post-0.7 for the last Firebird release, since 0.8 is/was the first Firefox?
replying
[Breadmaster] I've lived in a few houses in my time and recall that at least three of them had great pillars at the front. Where was it? Oh yes - if you noticed my posting about the ISIHACThemeNightInRugby - perhaps you can give some thought as to whether you can join in? Eh? Eh? Eh?

[Tobes] thank you :-)

Yankee doodles
[Dr Q+] It constantly amazes me that Americans, most of whom speak English as their 1st language, have such trouble with English place names. Especially as so many of them are duplicated in the States. Why, do you think, this should be?
Actually Nottingham already has an airport! No scheduled flights, mainly freight and private planes, but it's there, nevertheless, and I've been there to see brother-in-law's plane (of which he owns one wing and the rear wheel, or something like that.)
[Twiki] The impression I got from the little local news I ever watch was that most people in Derby, Loughborough, Leicester, etc. (or at least the ones they bothered to interview), were generally quite p-ed off by the existence of the airport and "if Nottingham want it, they can have it" (apparently believing that the renaming would somehow magically move it somewhere where they wouldn't be under the flight path).
Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
I've got tickets to the concert I've been waiting for! Yes! Sorry, just needed to share that with someone. :D :D :D
lucky you
At least someone has tickets. *sigh*
Damn Yankees (and I mean the baseball team :)
[HB] You usually find the more English place names in New England (esp. around Boston.) Another problem is that many names are Americanised so that some consonants are de-silenced and others are eliminated; e.g. around here, North Versailles is pronounced "North Ver-sales"; Baden is "Bay-den"; Cheswick is "Chez-wick"; East Liberty is "E-Slibberdee"; White Oak is "Whairda-helzat". Strange that Duquesne is still "Doo-kane", but there we are.
Other local towns here.
There is one more town here that's worth mentioning. It's called "SNPJ" -- I swear I am not making that up -- it stands for "Slovenska Narodna Podporna Jednota".
Place-name pronunciation
(Herr Bratsche) I think you're a bit hard on the Yanks. If there's anything that shows up the vagaries of language it's local pronunciation. For instance, in south London there's Streatham (pr. Strettum) and in Berkshire there's Streatley (pr. Streetly). And why are Ardingly and Hellingly (Sussex) pronounced as if they have a final "e"? Who knows? (Dr Q) Near Mrs Trellis' house is the 58-letter name we all know, but the locals all call it Llanfair PG. (All) Anyone here from Shrewsbury? I call it Shrooze-brie. How say you?
Shrewsbury
(Rosie)Us Bristolians call it Shrowz-brie. And why is Berkshire "Barkshire"?
and another thing
(Dr Q) In one of the jazz pubs I go to is a vast mural with a map of the lower Mississippi and New Orleans and there is a place on the river called D'Lo (presumably at one time De l'eau). We don't take anglicisation quite that far because we've got places such as Grosmont (N. Yorks) and Grosvenor (London) in which the "s" is silent, even though the names are several hundred years old. (Bigsmith) Yes, why, particuarly as Berkhampstead is BURK, but not Berkeley Square. Re Shrewsbury - two locals I have known call it Shrooze, for what it's worth.
Towns again
Towns in America often have names reflecting the language its settlers spoke, or occasionally that of the natives who previously occupied the area. Mind you, these don't quite explain some towns just East of Lancaster, PA....
Fertility
What a great name. I also like Zook's Corner ! In Tassie there is a Paradise and a Penguin, which I kind of liked.
le parking pour le big yellow taxi
In Saltfleet, Linconshire, there is a Paradise Car Park, with a sign reading Paradise Car Park, No Caravans or Camping. It's unpaved, but it's a parking lot all the same.
Damn French
[Rosie] Yes, we can blame the French for dropped "w", silent "s" and all kind of manglings. I say "Shroozebury", btw, but then I also say "Sisister" for "Cirencester", and I may well be wrong about that. I also insist on "Alster" for "Alcester", despite the tendency of south Brummies towards voicing every letter in the name of the main road that I live just off. Bah!
More Damn French
[Dr Q] How about "Day Moyn" for Des Moines, but "Noo Orleenz" for New Orleans (refer to Orleans, Normandy for original).
Shrewsbury
I thought it was pronounced Shrooze-brie, but it seems to be more variable than that. Near me is Caerphilly, pronouced Ku-philly, but then all the Welsh names starting Caer seem to be pronounced like that, eg Caerleon. It took me ages to get them right, and it's probably different in North Wales. I also remember a sea-side village in Fife, on the Forth, called Ainstruther, pronounced Ainster. It's really a plot to make fun of tourists!
Starter for ten
Have a go at 'Mousehole' and 'Widemouth' if you would.
Oh, and...
while we're at it 'Woolfardisworthy'.
I seem to recall...
renting a car in Dover from a place in the Maison Dieu Road, pronounced "Mason Doo" by the young woman working there. It's not just Americans...
Sense of Place
Cornish towns are fun, more for the sheer improbability of the names than for the improbability of their pronunciation. "Perranarworthal", for example, is pronounced as it is written, which is in itself surprising.

Something I read recently in one of Bill Bryson's books (Made In America) was that the spelling placenames was regularised by a geographical names board. One of their more Philistinic acts was to say that all place names pronounced with the suffix "-burg" or "-boro" should be spelt that wayh exactly, and none of this confusing "-burgh" or "-borough" nonsense ("Pittsburgh" was given an explicit exemption).

Yay!
Posting from IE on WinXP now, and I note my little fiddle has fixed the PNG problem. More in 'Notes'...
(IE users should request a full reload of this page to get things looking - hopefully - right)
Yep, seems to work from here.
Da 'Burgh!
[Dunx] The Scottish Pittsburghers of the late 19th Century (notably Andrew Carnegie) decided to "Scottify" the city by adding the trailing "h". It looks nicer to me, and it differentiates us from Pittsburg, Kansas.
Cornish towns
I had a bit of a laugh the first time I saw the town "Feock". ;)
Logo
Yup!
Last person to know because I'm in such a hurry...
Many Happy Returns, Chalky. *tips hat*
logo
Yep, its all grey now! Not that I really noticed before..
pronunciation
And then of course there's Loogabarooga! Bruce. Ah, bringing us to the ever-irritating River Nene. We in the valley always said "Nenn", but then I heard Stephen Fry calling it "Neen" so now I don't know what to think!
Cornish names, etc
(rab) Mousehole rhymes with tousle, as in hair, but I don't know about the other two you mention. I do know that Fowey is Foy, more or less. But I'm fascinated by Probus. Sounds disgusting. (ZK) If you called it Nenn, then that's it, despite the estimable Mr Fry. Another variation on the burg, burgh, borough ending is of course Middlesbrough.
g'day
Did I say Loogabarooga? I meant Loughborough. There's fun.
Changing the subject: Would other posters be interested in having some sort of link to either their own sites or to a central site of some sort? This of course would depend on rab's willingness to provide such a link.
I am only thinking of something basic. For instance, I am building a small (free site) where I can post my details and, eventually, a few pictures of the area in which I live. At this point in time it is very, very ordinary (and may stay the same!) see here. It's amazing how many people I meet on the Internet - usually from places far and wide - who are genuinely interested to see what it looks like where I live. I too have that interest (e.g. I'd love to see Chalky's view of "The Spire", Dr Q's surroundings in Pittsburgh and suchlike.)
Without wishing to rake over dead coals, there was such a link on the now defunct 'Pants' site and, whilst many did not choose to contribute, it was still quite interesting.
Silly or just stupid?
sounds like a plan! :) rab?
catching up ....
[Googol] Cheers!
[Dujon] Not silly at all. I'm interminably curious about others' home environments :-).
[ZK] As you expressed an interest, have you made a decision on the Rugbypilg yet? Sounds as though you're not that far away. So far there are 3 girlies who hope to be there - Lib (wahay), pen (wahay) and me. My email address is further up this page, probably now in the 'expose more' bit.
Aaaw
I've just been back-reading. I was rather fond of my white square. It was geometrically sound and neat and artistically separate. Was it never meant to look that way?
pilg
[Chalky] I'm probably free on the date, but I've just splashed out a tad on some concert tickets so I'm not sure I can afford to go. Can I answer that question a few days into March (when I get money)? Plus, what is required of said pilg? I'm not quite sure I'm up to spontaneous wit (is that tautology?) when surrounded by my elders.
spontaneous wit
The real ISIHAC is not really spontaneous wit!
I had originally planned for there to be teams that will play - but I now think it would best to make it open to contributions from all although there will still be at least 1 compare (a Humph) to move thing along and hopefully a JLE on piano. The evening is going to be one of daft parlour games that all who wish to can prepare for. I'll be letting everyone know what all the games are before the event - if you want to take part in a particular game - great, if not just enjoy other peoples contributions. For example, one of the games I have in mind is "New Definitions for Old Words". If you come up with any ideas, write them down and bring them to the event. A full list of games will be published soon.
Parsons Knows
*wonders if JLE's brushing up on his rendition of the Minute Waltz.*
Logi Beard
[ZK] No, the logo was never meant to be that way... also the Expose buttons looked rather silly enclosed in a white square.

Um... linkages. Yes, in principle, a great idea. I've been wanting to construct a sort of 'profiles' section that is self-maintaining, which means a fair bit of programming at the outset (consults diary, balks at fact I'm in a show next week which is going to be very tiring) but hopefully thereafter will require no effort from me whatsoever...

PS Widemouth = "Wid-mooth', Woolfardisworthy = 'Woolsery'.
Show man
rab] Prey what is your show?
Prey? Pray?
[Btd] rab's entered the Cheshire's biggest marrow competition owing to a shortage of marrows.
Marrow entry
[Projoy] Better than the other way round...

[Bob] Part of the band for Princess Ida, being done by this motley crew. It's very tiddly-pom-pom type stuff.

Hamish and Dougal
Did anyone catch "You'll Have Had Your Tea?" last night? Best bit was Mrs Naughtie's "cup of tea.....a merangue?"....
just my cup of tea
[B'smith] Darn - missed it. That was the first of the new series, but it's been scheduled rather late in the evening [11.15 pm?]. We've been in the audience for the recordings of this series so far. In fact I've got 3 tickets for Sunday evening's recording which will be the last 2 of the series. Don't know if I'll be able to make it, though, so if someone in the London area has a burning desire to go [the Cochrane Theatre, Holborn] do shout now.
.
Bugger! I haven't haed me tea.

[Dujon] My website is mustela.phyast.pitt.edu.
tiddly-pom-pom
Projoy] And I thought he was just pleased to see me.
rab] I didn't know Gilbert and Sulivan orchestrated the Kazoo.
both] ;o)
The voice of Pittsburgh
(Dr Q) Just tuned in to your blog and looked at the piccies. That river looks a bit lively - do you get floods? Over here even a 15-mile piddle like the Darent can stray where it didn' oughta, but in 1996 it dried up almost completely. Your voice doesn't sound quite as American as I had imagined, and very laid back. Is that normal for Pennsylvania? Don't be modest.
"Come and meet, those dancing feet, on the avenue I'm taking you to: Forty Second Street!"
The matinee was a tad disastrous, but today is our first complete performance, with a proper audience and (hopefully) propr sound and lighting. (Save me!) Wish me luck! Or don't, I suppose: I just needed to tell someone!
Floods? Indeed!
[Rosie] That's the Youghiogheny (pr. "Yock-o-gain-ee", or just "Yock"). That one floods from time to time, and it has flooded twice this winter due to ice jams and/or rapidly melting snow. Same goes for the three rivers in Pittsburgh; The Ohio, The Allegheny, and The Monongahela ("Mun-on-ga-hay-la", or just "Mon"). If you want a look at them, go to one of our local TV station's webcams from high atop Mount Washington. Looking at the fountain at the Point (which is obviously off), the Allegheny is on the left, the Mon on the right, and they combine into the Ohio at the bottom.
To answer your next question -- the fountain has only been flooded once that I can remember (1996, I think).
musical theatricals
[Googol] Break a leg! What part are you playing? Or are you an amazing balancing tap dancer? Interesting how many MCers are involved in productions one way or the other. Our society does two a year, the Spring one usually a more traditional or light opera production, hence HMS Pinafore in May. At Christmas we're doing 'Annie'.
Pat Denning "Hello kid."
[Chalky] Oooh, funky: my mother's mother is trying to get me to join a society. Is it good fun? What parts have you played?
snowy weather..
Just to make all you antipodeans jealous, it's been snowing all afternoon in Cardiff, and anyone who lives north of Pontypridd was sent home at about 3pm because of weather warnings. BRRRR! The forecast is for -6 on Monday, sextuple BRRR!
"THe weather outside is frightful..."
Try again
[Snorgs] Same here over the bridge in christmas card South Glos, though the bastards' won't let us go home.
bright and beautiful
Stratford - (20 miles south of B'ham, midlands, UK) 17.45. Bright and clear. Not even a breeze. Chickens happy.
winter wonderland
Salisbury GMT 1803 - has been snowing for an hour or so - it's settling.
Tuh!
[rab] Why is it the University I came to has to be possibly the only one in the country without a Gilberty & Sullivan society? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Sites
[Dr Q] Great photographs! Thanks for that. I like your sound blog too. :-) It looks as though you live in a nice green area, lots of trees and houses with yards!

[rab] Your comments are noted. I was only thinking of a simple link page to which posters might submit their sites through either yourself or a trusted soul (to avoid the obvious).

Cardiff
[Snorgle] What's your forecast for Sunday? Whilst I cannot make it I've about 30,000 like minded souls heading your way and hope like mad that the weather isn't going to spoil the day!
pissed off
I dunno - a mere six inches of snow that freezes and it's bleedin chaos here. Most of the roads into Salisbury were blocked last night due to some accident or the other. It took Mr C four hours to return from Bath [usually 40 mins]. This morning? All the schools are closed because 'the conditions are too dangerous for the children'. So all the parents have to completely re-schedule their working day and what are the dear little things doing? Playing out in the .. erm .. dangerous conditions. I was planning to do my party shopping this afternoon so I fully expect all the supermarkets to have run out of food.* mutter mutter *
snow, what snow?
Chalky]In north Wiltshire there is nothing not a flake, you could always move to Swindon, very good access to Bath.
Shows
On the subject of shows I last night had a dream in which there was a Newsnight piece on Michael Howard accompanied by a tune from Projoy and Thos's Dracula show... Nurse!
talking of Thos .....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY *hugs*
weather thos
Happy Birthday!

Weather for Sunday is sunny, max 8 degrees celsius, but northerly winds so it'll probably feel colder. The nights are clear and much colder - several degrees below zero. The snow in Cardiff melted, mostly by last evening, although it usually does. Cold but lovely and sunny today!

Thanks, snorgle! Great news.
the undead
rab] That was no dream...
more plain text
Whilst I carry on with the cut and paste and player commentary, this weeks Celebrity MC as text only. It is always sad news when a player pulls out, but this week we lost two, as both Blob and boolbar left for that great red carpet on platform one.
Missed cues, ruined the dance, lost my voice: thank goodness there's just one more night to go...
So tired...so embarressed: HIDE ME!
Whoops!
[Inkspot] What's celebrity MC?
[Googol] Handy eh? This internet malarkey when you've lost yer voice. Hope all goes well for your last night. As for Celebrity MC - just follow the link and work it out :-)
Rugby Ball
Today I got to look over Brownsover Hall, the venue for the ISIHAC pilg. And I'm pleased. It is lovely! We have the use of the study (as long as Colnel Mustard doesn't get there first).
'Colonel'
Obviously
more shares
Googolplex]Celebrity MC is a league of fellow MC players who have invested on the BBC celebrity stock exchange 'Celebdaq'. Once a portfolio has been created, the ID is posted here and is added as soon as possible, the rest is upto the hamsters at daq towers. It is for fun but can be frustrating to keep going each week. Each player develops their own strategy, for my part I have two accounts one day trading the other in long term blue chip of David Beckham. My part is just to gather the results from the Friday payout, cut and paste over the weekend and add a bit of commentary, usually posting here on Monday night before I hop over to MCiOS e-pilg. If you wish to have a join, it will be a pleasure to welcome you aboard. (I have a feeling that I'm going to be kneecapped on Monday again)
Bransabre Ball
I wanno go!!!!!
Public Service Announcement
Any ladies in the GMT timezone should be aware they have only one hour remaining to propose. Go on - you know you want to!
[Chalky and Snorgle] Thank you very much! [Rab] Which tune?
daffodils
*Waves warm and happy St. David's Day greeting to all*
Bolton Wanderers
Commiserations to Dujon on Sunday's result. It was however a very good game.
Bolton Wanderers
As a Wanderers fan I was considerably annoyed at the constant references to Bolton "not having won anything since 1958". Does the Sherpa Van Trophy count for nothing!??! Didn't see the game 'cos I have no Sky dish and surprisingly it was NOT live on Italian telly. Was consequently glued to the PC listening to the 5 Live stream - my girlfriend was concerned at my frequent yelling and table-bashing. We'd have beaten United, Liverpool, or the Arse. We have a tendency to let the lesser clubs get the better of us. Sam is God (but shouldn't really be criticising the referee - it's not nice to mock the afflicted). The Wanderers will return!
ring zone
[rab] So did you get your proposal? Is that what your prompt was for? I ask only because I can't believe you would believe that there's only one day in every four years when a woman is permitted to propose to a man...
A pocket full of posers
[pen] That's what I've been told :) Though in my book, a woman can propose any time she likes.
dead ringer
[right] Coming right up... mwahahahaah!
Switch brain to 'on'
That should have been addressed to [rab]... doh!
I accept!
Dang!
Too late! It's March 1st and now you have to marry a daffodil instead!
Alive, but too tired to tell anyone...
[Chalky] Thanks, the second two performances went markedly better than the first: we needed more dress rehearsals really. Luckily, the event was recorded on video, so we'll be able to see what went wrong and where. *cringe*
Yackydah
So wots the epilg dress code tonight? Welsh?
tonight in the chatroom
[Btd] Yep, it's Welsh alright. See you in there.
Aendydd it is!
I Say, Porter
Can't talk here, I'll be howled down. Drop in and have a chat sometime.
Bigsmith
Thanks. :-(
(Dr Q) Nid oes dim o "x" yng Ngymraeg. There is no "x" in Welsh.
[Dr Q] Whilst Rosie is correct, there is a consonant which substitues for 'x' but which is reserved for the Elders (and is oft referred to as a 'gift from the faeries'); they clack their false teeth! .... Sorry, just feeling frivolous.
Bloody keyboard!
s/substitues/substitutes
Cymraeg
Also no "J", "K", "Q", "V" or "Z". BUT - "CH", "DD", "FF", "LL", "NG", "RH", "TH" and one other digraph (can't remember which) all count, so Welsh has a 28-letter alphabet.
chocolate cake
Somehow my confused computer managed to submit that without me noticing. It really has a mind of its own.
mmmm...chocolate
Maybe you did it telekinetically? Are you thinking of chocolate cake now?
mmmmm
[snorgle] Now you come to mention it, yes
Cymraeg eto
(Herr Bratsche) It's "PH" you're after. It only occurs as a mutation, i.e. a changed beginning to a word, which would otherwise start with "P". In my last post I left out an "h" in Nghymraeg, another mutation, as you can see. Many North Walians cannot pronounce the "zh" sound in words like "decision". It comes out as "sh".
Dressed for success
Had our dress rehearsal last night (hence absence from epilg). We're hoping that the age-old adage of "Crap dress rehearsal, good first night" holds true. For some reason, the only bit that got practiced twice was the bows. Something which I find to even practice once a little offensive... *grumble - bloody thesps - mutter*
sniped !
Well I suppose it was fair enough because the bid was higher than mine, but it was at £205 with 10 minutes to go, and I had down £275 as my max bid and it ended at £277 - bid placed 15 seconds before the end. Auction was for THIS, with normal and w/a lens I wanted it. With all my being. Oh yes. :o(
Bob le chien will be happy to know that I am considering coming along to the w/e pilghotel thing and am considering bringing a camera to take a photograph of us all.
So that's where you were....
[rab] with a nod to St David there was a Welsh flavour about the pilg last night ... and I was SO looking forward to your presence as a WelshRabbit ...

[std] We'll all be happy to know that you may be coming to the ISIHACThemeNightInRugby :-) You wish to reserve a single room?

fun and frolics in Rugby
[Chalky] Unfortunately I've taken the executive decision not to come as I think I need to sort my life out a tad. But I'd love to hear about it!
[ZK] OK :-)
Run rabbit
[Chalky] I'm sure I would have driven you hopping mad.
[rab] you'd never do that :-) ... I am much more likely to feel uneasy when nattering alongside *mystery* people who aren't particularly inclined to reveal who they are, Morniverse-wise. It probably doesn't bother anyone else :-(
std] *Happy*
Chalky] Me too, but only slightly. The fun is in the guessing. But who was that mysterious Bob the Dolgellau?
Rugby
Ha, so perhaps I might.
bobshappiness
BtD] Its only a thinking about it. I couldn;'t possibly commit that far ahead ;o0. I don't even know when it is ! ZK] Do you not think a weekend surrounded by people all talking nonsense could possibly help inspire you to sorting out your life ?
ISIHAC Theme Night In Rugby
[st d] Saturday 15 May - just the one night. In my role as Bob the dog's assistant - I booked the venue and reserved a block of rooms. Hopefully a final call on numbers won't be necessary for some time [to date we have about 12 definites and 10 possibles]
std] Ooh you tease!
Bool] :o)
Chalky] I'm not at home at the moment, and I don't have your email address, can you make sure that 'The Study' is booked in our name too? And how did the birthday party go?
ISIHaCluedo
[Bob] 'The Study' is now booked - along with the candlestick, the dagger and the lead piping [I'll bring the rope]. We should have access to the Library [via the secret passage] and the Lounge, Dining Room and Conservatory. I hope to be travelling with Miss Scarlett.
It's got me thinking ... the gothic mansion, the study ... there just has to be a game in this. I shall work on it :-)
Miss Scarlet
..in the bedroom, with the lights on.
North Walians
[Rosie] Er. Most North Walians I know/have met while living and visiting there for more than 10 years can say 'decisions' with a zh. (I know, because I asked them. All of them)
On the other hand, most North Walians I've known/met can't speak Welsh (fluently), so eh.
North Walians
(Nik) That's the reason then, isn't it? I only said "many" North Walians, not all of them, and by implication it would be the Welsh speakers, obviously.
Scarletting
[st dog] !
pen
oops ! sorry. Didn't realise Miss Scarlet was actually a PERSON, i thought she was just a platonic ideal.
Didn't sound particularly Platonic to me...
All I put was an exclamation mark...
Ida thought so.
Feeling really knackered now, and we've only done two show nights (three more, plus a matinee to go). Am becoming possessed by offensively catchy G&S tunes *do doooo di -- [camp pause] -- plonk -- [another marquee of a pause] -- ya-da-da-da-da, di-ya-da-da-da-da-da-da, di-ya-da-da-da-da-di-ya-di-da -- di - plong plong -- di - plong plong -- ya-di-da-di-daaaaa, continues for 2½hours*. I manage to flush this out before going to sleep by putting on a CD of something... else, but then wake up at 5am with *di-plong-i-plong-i-plonk, di-plong-i-plong-i-plonk* rattling in my head. Arrrrgh!!!

Anyway, quality update... the first night was a little chaotic. Last night we had a good audience, and having managed to get through the ouverture without a cock-up, the orchestra had a great night. Slight signs of fatigue showing in some of the leads but hopefully they'll have had a good night's sleep and we'll have a top show tonight. I hope so, since it's the night that some of my friends are going...

Scardy-cat
Have I scared everyone off?
do doooo di -- [camp pause] -- plonk -- [another marquee of a pause] -- ya-da-da-da-da, di-ya-da-da-da-da-da-da, di-ya-da-da-da-da-di-ya-di-da -- di - plong plong -- di - plong plong -- ya-di-da-di-daaaaa, continues for 2½hours
Which G&S is that? Years ago dad did the sound for a G&S production. He had to time a piece of recorded cello so that it matched the actress playing a dummy cello. It went da-da-da-da-da da daaaaa [camp pause] dar dar da-da-daaaa [another marquee of a pause] da [pause] da [pause] da [pause] da-de-dadada-da-da-da-daaaaaaah. I wonder if it was the same show?
Just a thought...
Is there a game in this?
Name this classic TV sit-com theme tune...
Rink-dink-eedinkydink, Rink-dink-eedinkydinky dink dink der, (Boo-ba-boo-berr)...?
[camp pause]
[BtD] Well, you're thinking of Patience. I'm guessing rab's talking about Princess Ida. Bob, is that Steptoe and Son or have I had too much Lucozade? Actually, I can hear the tune in my head but I don't know what show it belongs to.
Oooh! The pineapple and courgette might be working . . . .
pinafore's ahoy
[rab] Scared everybody off?? Ya must be joking.
I've just got back from a Pinafore rehearsal ... Da-da-DAH-dada-da-dah-dah, da-da-DAH-dada-dah-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA-da-da-da-da - [Never Mind the Why & Wherefore] and I can't get it out of my head. Not much in the way of camp pauses and marqueeses but an awful lot of mannered repetitiony bits ... "for that gallant captain's daughter ... for that gallant captain's daughter....and a Lord who rules the water ... and a Lord who rules the water ... "
Pineapple and courgette pudding
ZK] Yes, you win the star prize! Too easy really...
Another easy one:
Yinky plinky plink-plink plonk. (pause) Plinky plink plonk, donk donk dinky dink donk...
Ooh
Did I get the G&S right or the TV choon?
[Boolbar] Around the last couple of times I've posted you've piped up with something cryptic. Is it all coincidence and am I imagining it or are you being cryptic for reasons we're meant to understand?
As Bob the dog seems to have done, in fact (understood).
I wish you could see me at my computer going "Yinky plinky plink-plink plonk. (pause) Plinky plink plonk, donk donk dinky dink donk.." over and over again :)
yinkyplinky plonking out loud
[ZK] same here :-)
[Bob] Dad's Army?
getting it wrong
[Bob] nah ... can't be Dad's Army ...'cause that goes Whoo-doo-doo-dooh-dooh-doodoo-doodoo-Hitler!
plinky
[Chalky] The key's obviously somewhere in the "dinky dink donk," but it's not coming to me.
And it's not Eastenders cos there aren't enough pauses...
Ooh (again)
You know, I've just noticed something. The top 10 shortlist for best british sitcom are the ones that traditionally use(d) incidental music rather than pop songs. *makes a mental note and goes on to write a smash hit*
Whoo-doo-doo-dooh-dooh-doodoo-doodoo-Hitler!
Chalky] That had me spluttering into my fizzy water!
ZK] Boolbar is referring to a conversation I was having with him by email. He has a doglet that has a tendency to (SENSITIVE PEOPLE PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES) eat its own poo. Apparently, if you feed the dog pineapple and courgette it stops doing this.
Re the tune - it is Eastenders - not from a sitcom(?!). Probably one of the most easily recognisable and yet irritating pieces of TV intro music ever. Apart from The Bill. Anyone fancy having a go at Doobeedooing that one?
Can I have the bill please
The Bill:
Nick! [pause] Nick nicky nick nicky ner-ner-ner nick [breath] ner-ner nick nicky nick...
Here is another police one. Ner-ner-ner, ner-ner ner ner-ner, ner-ner-ner, ner-ner ner ner...
I got Steptoe, but I've never heard a single episode of The Bill or Eastenders. So here's one that no-one else is likely to have heard, except for gil, if he's reading here. A long-running series in its day.

Dee dee dee, di-dee, di-dee dee dee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee dee deeee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee, di-dee dee dee dee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee dee deeee.

And yes, how about creating a new game for this?

Oops
That should be:

Dee dee dee, di-dee, di-dee dee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee dee deeee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee, di-dee dee dee dee,
Dee dee dee, di-dee dee deeee.

Bob's ner ner de ner ner
[Bob] That's Z Cars yes?
[Raak] I need to have a little dee-di-dee to myself before I can hazard a guess at yours. Am intrigued to know why only gil might know that [meaning I'm really fishing for a clue]
New game? Name That Tune? Can we kill Mrs Trellis?
Raak's dee dee
ooops - hit the enter too early
erm ... Is that Z Cars aswell?
Z
Z cars indeed for me and I think for Raak too. New game on the wayhey!
Beefy
The cpu fan in the server has been sounding increasingly self-destructive over the last couple of weeks. [waffle] The machine will be taken down for a bit, when I get the new one or it pre-emptively keels over.
Ida thought so again.
[ZK] Congrats on Ida, though I did leave at least one or two big clues... Meanwhile I'm slightly surprised, but pleased, to see what this show has spawned. *oof headache* Last night's show was not top notch, and given that we all went on the piss afterwards (including the traditional boat race - oh yes, I really did need to down that pint) tonight could be very interesting. We're going to try a gauche orchestra arrangement tonight, so that the cello "section" won't have its back to the stage... what this means in real terms is I get to feast my eyes on lots of eighteen year olds in tights and short skirts. Yay!
Z-Cars
[Btd, Chalky] Yes, didn't notice Btd had done it. I didn't think there were that many of us here old enough to remember Z-cars, unless there's been a rerun or revival in recent years.
classics
[Raak] I remember it well, probably because as a child I lived in Germany with no TV so when we came home 'on leave, I hungrily absorbed any British TV programme whatever its quality. It's all sort of crystallised in my consciousness. Although, having said that, there's loads of stuff I missed. My other half, who is a few years younger than I, can remember EVERY kids TV programme AND its theme tune. He is much in demand for music quizzes and suchlike.
Old!?!
Raak] I'm only (very) late thirties. I remember Pogles Wood in black and white, Patrick Troughton as Dr Who, The Wooden-Tops, Robinson Crusoe every summer holiday, the Singing Ringing Tree...
[Chalky, Btd] Late 40's here. I always think of Z-Cars as being 60s, although it must have gone well into the 70's, but I more or less stopped watching TV about then, except for stuff I actually wanted to see.
Telly
[Bob the dog] I'm right on your wavelength, and wouldd add Tales From the Riverbank with Hammy the Hamster, and NEW episodes of Dads Army!
".....I get to feast my eyes on lots of eighteen year olds in tights and short skirts. Yay! "
[Rab] ..and that's just the blokes!!
18
rab] you are a lucky lucky man.
[Chalky, Btd, Raak] Mid-thirties, so I'm very jealous of anyone who can remember watching Pat Troughton in Doctor Who on original transmission. Other childhood memories include Rentaghost, Ivor the Engine, Mary Mungo and Midge, Hector's House, Noggin the Nog, The Sweeney, Blake's Seven and Swap Shop. I am also proud/sad (delete as applicable) to be able to recite the preambles to Hong Kong Phooey and Camberwick Green, and the closing words to Bagpuss.
42 ...
... is the answer. Old enough to remember 2nd Doctor clearly, 1st Doctor vaguely. Miss "Magic Roundabout" very much indeed.
[UK] We appear to share a brain, or at least that part of it relating to childhood reminiscences.
Everything goes shimmery
I was born the year before the Beatles released Revolver. I remember an article on the radio about them splitting although it didn't make much sense at the time. We had a hippy lodger who used to play me Ummagumma by Pink Floyd when he was babysitting and I couldn't sleep. I used to get tuppence ha'penny pocket money when I was 5 - enough for a bag of Walkers Crisps.
household appliances
....moving on from telly to other things sold by Curry's. Does anyone have any opinions as to what makes a *good* gas oven? Or does anyone have a particularly favourite fridge? I need to buy this type of thing and haven't a clue where to start!
more Dujon
Musically I was born in the year Duane Eddy released Peter Gunn, not that I remember it except a couple of years ago someone gave me a copy of the 45.

Breaking News!!! Dujon is No1!! a great result not seen since august last year, *throws several tubs of confetti into the air.*

something broke?
rab]There should be two links in the last post but the on for 15 august does not appear.
White goods
Lib] Go for the most expensive brand you can afford - Bosch is my favourite - you get far better customer support if things go wrong. Never buy because of add-on features you'll never use. Go for the lowest energy rating possible (A is the best). Never take subscribe to add on insurance - most appliances are covered for two years regardless. Shop around - and don't be scared to ask for a best price. Happy shopping!
Dixons Group plc
[Lib] You can probably get a fridge better than you'd expect, for less than you'd expect, by hunting around the sole-proprietors and small chains. I much prefer not shovelling my cash at the known retail brands these days - same or less money, same or better service. And fighting the power, man. Admittedly, it's not so time-consuming to hunt through the small local types when the town and outlyings of Northwich aren't much bigger than <pick a sub-area of a sub-region of Manchester>. The theory that because Dixons Group is huge you get better post-sales service is invalid - Dixons has one of the worst reputations, and it's major competitors (ie Comet and Argos) aren't a great deal better. Sorry if I'm repeating common knowledge - it's always worth repeating.
Daq & missing link
Thanks all for letting me climb to the top once more - I thought it would never happen. ... ;-)
[Inkspot] you typed 'hef' instead of 'href' in the missing link.
Children's TV and other things
I was already nearly 16 (1958) before we had a telly, a thing the size of a wardrobe with a screen of several square inches, so I never watched kids' TV; just never been part of my life. (Dujon) Congrats on being top of the whatever-it-is; I don't do that one. I see from my weather browsing that eastern Oz is now very sweaty indeed, but not for long, probably. Take it easy, mate, you're not as young as you used to be, now, are you, goo' boy? (All) If you've absolutely nothing to do next Wednesday evening and are within a gnat's crotchet of Dartford, come along to the Mick Jagger Centre. Our band (Force Ten) are playing, starting 8 pm. A mixture of jazz, swing, funk, Glenn Miller-type stuff plus a very good female singer. Cost you £8, some of which will land up in my back pocket, I hope. Some tickets left, so I'm told. Hmm!
[BtD and Nik] Thanks for your words of wisdom. House purchase is delayed (grrr) so I won't be buying for a while (I've already got a sofa being delivered, which is kinda problematic as I've got nowhere to put it). Why is housebuying so infuriating?!?
Don't I know it - buying the place that now contains angrycake.com took almost *six months* after having my offer accepted. I'd had a cooker, fridge/freezer and bed bought and sat in warehouses for most of that time, having somewhat foolishly thought it'd only take the few weeks I was told it would take.
For Chalky, 'cos I now she'll know what I mean.
I just missed (well most of) 'That's Entertainment' on the local television. Unfortuanately it was on in opposition to the local F1 race in Melbourne - another one of my weaknesses (that's the cars, not Melbourne). Why can't the TV stations advertise that sort of stuff instead of some 'Z' grade movie in prime-time? I AM UPSET. I know, my fault; but if I'd realised I would have recorded the damn thing, as I don't have a copy filed away. *sobs - goes misty eyed after seeing the last 30 minutes and leaves with the full intent of getting rotten.*
The 'k' key on my keyboard, or perhaps my fingers, is/are in trouble.
All right - it's the misty eyes. ;-(
seeing red
Dujon]The race was repeated here this afternoon, I had high hopes fo Mark Webber, but only to be dashed again by reliability of the Jaguar. I would like to see him replace Montoya in the Williams. Would he beat his prospective team mate the petulant Ralf Schumacher? yes! without a doubt.
Green with envy
[Inkspot] To be honest (re Webber) I don't know. The media here tends to be so biased towards anyone with an Australian connection that it's hard to pick the facts from the hyperbole. No doubt he's a good driver, otherwise Jaguar would not be using him (apart from the money which he may have brought with him!), but it's an interesting thought.
The 'daq
Yay! I've been millionaired again!
[Dujon/Inkspot] Webber is indeed a top talent, with a great ability for doing good things with less than the best equipment. Our post race pub discussion on Sunday lunchtime centred around the (not totally unlikely) possibility of a Williams dream team in 2005 with Webber and our own Jenson Button on board.
Plinkaplonka
Managed to wake up without Princess Ida in my head this morning, so my sanity may shortly be restored (well, whatever sanity I had to begin with, anyway). The last night was fun, what with the substitution of a packet of cigars for some handcuffs, some banter betwixt lead and orchestra, and a plan to give the MD a brown-trousers moment in the last number which came off beautifully...

Oof! Back to work...

A wandering minstrel I
I'm not going to be available to come to the e-pilg tonight - but how about a Gilbert and Sulivan theme..?
Minstrel in the gallery.
Me Cryptic? No. But the pelican has no tomatoes.
Chocs away!
Bool] I think our cryptic postings have scared everyone off. Good job I didn't mention the bonfire that our neighbours are having in their swimming pool (no joke). The smoke is making the chickens sneeze!
Hello everyone, it seems I can get into MC5 at last. Whether this is just temporary or not I don't know!
**waves at darren**
Hooray! Can you email me another traceroute output please?
Well, I'm still here but paradoxically "tracert" now says "Destination net unreachable" after the first entry!
it's quiet..
Slow week in the morniverse. **whistles eerily**
*coughs*
*munches crisps noisily*
Did anyone watch the programme last night about the crisp industry?
*Thinks* I've got no telly and I'm on a diet and I was working last night.
Wish I had. Was it good?
crispology
[Btd] Well if you were working, why would you need a telly? It was OK. Just surprising how much I knew about crisps. I eat more than I should, but then I don't eat other stuff... much.
A Cross-Post By Any Other Name Would Still Be As Annoying
Cross-posted from Orange, but... a small announcement - White Rose MC is, at last, online. This is a version of the York/!York archive, rejigged to use the same technology as Orange MC (hence my desire to give it a different name).

Enjoy!

Server maintenance.
...and, again, reeeeee-lax. The new fan is much less painful to listen to.
Coo
[Dunx] Wow. I'll ungrey the York link Sometime Real Soon Now (i.e. when I can work out how out-of-synch the live version is with the dev version, and whether applying all updates would break anything. Yes I do use CVS, no I don't understand it and hence use is propery).
While of mean
Any chance of a similar stunt being pulled for the Pants archives?
White Rose
Dunx] You are a hero!
Dead Pants
[rab] Not by me, no - I don't believe there was any backup of the Pants archives.
Pants archive
Pardon me for dropping in here: but, Dunx: if you were so inclined, you could find the archive.org record of Pants MC (it's surprisingly extensive) and manually pinch everything they've got there. I've already got the Lock Cup matches and a few others of interest: I'm slowly building up to getting the lot before archive.org crashes or gets taken down by an army of ravening copyright solicitors, but it is an option. If we really really really really really badly want the archive to be taken and re-hosted, that is.
Workflow
[Angus] I feel that Dunx might already have enough on his plate... but if you do have all the games in a reasonable format there could be scope for archiving it appropriately.
Am I alone in believing that NOT all games need be archived? Only those which are *of particular distinction*, whether in quality, style or genre.
more tacky daq docs
Aplologies to all at Celebrity Monington Crescent, somehow moreteaplease regained No1 without trying. Last Friday after I had sold all my shares I reinvested them in Prince Charles, if was he in the news I don't remember seeing him anywhere? and he paid out a handsome 5.57 a share! So I'll let them ride for another week and see what happens.
Super duper new tunes!!
My halfwit band have some new tunes for you to listen to. So when you have five mins, toddle along to http://www.papalazarus.com and have a listen. Why not leave some nutty inane message on the guest book while your there? Ok cheap plug well n truly over......ftangftang......wibble
Archival Questions
[JLE] Well... possibly. The problems are that (1) someone has to go through all the games to make a judgement on which are or are not worthy; and (2) you're relying on just that person's judgement. Even if there were a panel of judges, you would be requiring that their judgement be accurate for all time.

From an archaeological point of view, a lot of the most interesting artifacts and documents are the ones that people thought weren't worth keeping at the time. If all that is kept is the exceptional, then the context for those exceptions is lost.

So, possibly, but in my judgement, no.

archivism
[Dunx, JLE] I'm with Dunx on this one. Many's the time I've searched through the archives loking for a particular post of mine or someone else's. I'm afraid I have a habit of using these sites as a sort of highly social blog, and they're one of the few ways I can remind myself of what I was thinking about and preoccupied with at particular times, and when certain events happened. Players' reactions to Sep 11th are particularly interesting to look back on from this distance, particularly in locations other than the chat game, where life proceeded as normal within less than hours. Future historians might look at the pages and say "What were these people thinking? Joking and limericking away before the dust had even settled on such a huge historical event!".
gallows humour
[Projoy] I didn't realise these boards went back that far - where's all that then? curiosity declared
[Projoy] Well, I haven't seen a single comment throughout any of the Morniverse about the Spain bombings, so I don't see why there should have been so many about the ones in America either. I think our sense of importance is greatly warped by our peculiar belief that what happens in America is more important than what happens elsewhere.
Now, the verdict on Betsygate - that's what I call important!
Betsygate?
You mean you haven't been following it with bated breath?
Madrid
I think everyone is horrified. And also very aware that the target could so easily have been here.
[Breadmaster] Oh, Betsygate, I do beg your pardon!
[BM] We don't really know the significance of the Madrid attacks yet, which makes them at present equivalent to the earthquake in Bam. But the significance and symbolism of the 11 Sept attacks were immediately obvious and pretty much unignorable. And arguably what happens in America (at least in some contexts) is more important in terms of international repercussions than what happens here, so the perception is not entirely arbitrary. [ZK] If you're interested in the reaction to Sep 11th, you can see it breaking here. CdM and I were midway through a debate on insurance when Néa was the first person to react, ahead of PaulWay hearing the news. What's really interesting in retrospect is how Drewsxpa provides future MC historians with an aside on the event for context - but of course, the date and the event is now burned on everyone's memory, and we need no such thing.
What you might need context for, on the other hand, is the "yipee" comment on 13 September by "Iain Duncan-Hague". You may recall that a man with a similar name was elected Conservative leader on that date. You don't? Oh, well, hard to blame you.
Archives
There's a fair few archives we may never see again: Beer Powered Mornington Crescent Frenzy is gone for good, I believe, as is Huxley's rather stylish, but short-lived server. Delphi remains in limbo, too.
[Projoy] Thankyou. I haven't quite read all of it, but will do so at my leisure. As to the more recent attacks (in Spain, obviously) I suspect no-one has said a lot because, callous as it sounds, we've sadly seen this all before, with my sincerest apologies to whoever that statement offends (including me). I was, however, visibly appalled when I was following the news on TV on Friday (I didn't quite grasp the scale via the internet on Thursday), so it's not as though I'm not affected. I am. But what is there left to say? Aside from that, watching those parades yesterday, I was overwhlemed by one particular thought - how proud I would be to be Spanish right now.
Madrid
I was horribly shocked - but it still isn't certain who actually perpetrated the attacks. So we've been sidetracked into thinking it may have been ETA, rather than Al-Quaeda. There was also the way that passenger planes were hijacked and crashed into the towers, which seemed to make it even worse, somehow.
Spain and the world
I sometimes wonder if there is a difference between honest belief and being brainwashed. That statement applies to myself as much as to anyone else. Whilst I have been raised within a society that, basically at least, follows the principle of 'do unto others ...' I often ask myself why someone would act in the manner which many do. I have also come to the conclusion that no-one can overcome extremists should such decide to launch plans to disrupt a country's activities by targeting its citizens. What those people or groups would hope to achieve by such activities also eludes me; surely such operations would merely strengthen the resolve of those targeted. It would appear that capitalism does have its weaknesses, particulary when it comes to the indiscriminate use of wealth to obtain a goal without due concern about those who might be affected by the process and its consequences. In that sense perhaps it is time that governments - honest ones, if that's not some form of anti-logic - took a wee bit more control over the activities of companies (multi-national or otherwise). However, I digress. I applaud the reaction of the Spanish people to these latest attempts to undermine the fabric of their country - even those in the Basque areas.
That should read "even more those in the Basque areas".
celebdaq
Does anyone have any idea why Ralf Little's shares keep going up?
The motivation of terrorists
The tape claiming Al Qaeda responsibility says it all, really: "You desire life; we desire death."
Um...
Have the gremlins crept into my computer, or am I simply imagining all this minimalism?
Oz syndrome
ooh, that was confusing. did I imagine it?
I see
No, I didn't. How very strange. Approving of new fontage, however.
I don't
New fontage? Everything looks the same to me.
[Raak] I suspect the gremlins have got at my computer. Everything switches intermittently to Times New Roman and similar sparsity.
New stuff
I did just notice the new favicon -- very nice.
Where next.
The world is so small today, that news can be transmitted around the world seconds after it has happened, with instant assumptions of responsibility.
What has frightened me, is that as further details emerge is that this could happen anywhere, that Al-Quaeda have a long term goal and as a result they chose the place, time and method. They have the upper hand. The next act of terror will be unlike any that we have seen by them.

Once the west has bled the middle east dry of oil what kind of societies will be left? Looking at the news pictures of post-Iraq its hospitals, schools and housing were no bettter than that of a debt ridden third world country. I have yet to see evidence that everyone in Saudi has the same standard of living as you or I. With parts of America have already run dry of oil and its consumption shows no sign of slowing down, the exploitation of the middle east by the west only fuels the fire of Al-Quaeda fanaticism.

frontage
I momentarily experienced what looked like a plain text version of this page too, under IE6. Have reloaded and now it looks normal again.
Inky for President!
errmmm
Is there an e-pilg type thingy tonight? If there is, I could pop in for a little while, fairly early-like.
Update
I did update the site last night, so it might be your caches getting confused. Hit Reload if things look strange, and it should be ok.
Madrid
I'm observing a 3-minute silence. Does posting this count as 'not silence'?
As it happened - I didn't press 'enter' until the silence had finished so I'm OK.
[Inkspot] The West is paying the Middle Eastern states for the oil, and, I recall, was previously being criticised for not allowing Saddam to sell it. If they have the standard of living of third world countries, that is entirely the fault of their rulers. Saudi Arabia, in particular, is run as the private property of its despotic royal family, who indeed do not have the standard of living of you and I. Bill Gates would be a better comparison.
[3 minute silence] There is gesture inflation going on. If 2 minutes is enough for the dead of two world wars...
silence
What's wrong with 1 minute? It's just a gesture, after all. No amount of silence can bring back the dead. If a person wants to spend longer in silence, that's up to them - they can spend 10 minutes praying, etc.
oh yes ...
[flerdle] great to see you and yes, I hope so ... what is early-like for you?
Rich Rulers
[Raak] cf also Emir of Kuwait, rulers of Bahrain, Qatar, Oman etc. Not to mention the Sultan of Brunei. Now, how many of these countries have real, working parliaments with teeth?
Royals
I should perhaps point out that I recognize the immense wealth of HM the Q of UK&NI - however, she does not (indeed cannot) act in a despotic way except within her own four walls. Bill Gates can be said to have earned his pile, whatever reservations one has about the business methods of Micro$oft.
[HB] None, yes?
likely earls
[Chalky] Probably about 8:30pm or so for an hour.
measuring sticks
[HB, back one post] I will keep investigating .om and get back to you. What I've seen so far is pretty good, however. It's probably because it has just enough (oil) wealth to get the country developing, but not so much that he (SQ) can take it for granted. It will not last forever, and he knows it.
banter banter banter
sooo....read any good books lately? Seriously though, I'm a little confused - was does SQ stand for?
detective work, SQ
Have a look around here, which leads to here for the (rather long) official blurb. Perhaps I should have said HM S QbS.
Oman
[flerdle] Hmmm, a relatively benign dictator if you believe the somewhat hagiographic blurb - however, I remember, prior to a school trip to Romania in 1975, reading the official government literature on what a wonderful fellow that Nicolae Ceausescu was and how all Romanians were privileged to be ruled by such a caring, sharing fellow. It just makes one wary, that's all.
I know, and I'm wary myself :-). But I'm living here now, so will be able to see a few things "up close", as it were...
[flerdle] There are some things in that hagiography that one could, were one so despicably inclined, read in a rather different way than was presumably intended.

"Sultan Qaboos resorted to military force in order to eliminate a group of renegades based in the south who repeatedly declined the opportunities extended to the Omani population."

Yes :-D I know that too. There is a fair bit it doesn't say.
Top o' the marnin ta ya!
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!
feck off!
What is all this St Patrick's day nonsense? Until we see the same kind of fervour for England and St George, I'll have none of it! And another thought that struck me. Earlier this week, legislation to curb binge drinking was proposed, and yet... It's a load of feckin' hypocrisy! bah!
St. Paddy
[pen]Boo! Hiss! Anyway, what's stopping you celebrating St. George(if he ever existed and visited England) and prancing about wearing English things, and dancing round a maypole, or something? I do that EVERY DAY! Ha!
[penelope] Too right! I will celebrate St Patrick's day the day I celebrate Thanksgiving. This is just another example of the horrible rape of our culture by vile Americanism. The notion of celebrating St Patrick's day is entirely American and therefore to be resisted.
[Zooological Keeper] Not that I wish to rebuff rudely your cheery greeting, naturally.
St.Paddy
American? *wonders why it's a bank holiday in Ireland today*
Scary thing is that we've been invited to a St Patrick's Day party tonight.

No, not by locals.

party!
Hmm, will there be much illegal drink? Or will you be sipping soda water?
Merry Christmas!
Well, because my free Guinness hat looks like an Australian one I'm going to get very confused about my accent for the day. I agree it's all horribly commercialised but hey, it's a reason to celebrate - we don't get that many of those any more, unless you count the eejits who seem to think that Bonfire Night lasts 3 and a half months. [Snorgle] Oh that's you, is it? [Breadmaster] Thankyou. You couldn't deter me anyway, I'm in too good a mood. *does a little nationally unspecific jig*
[snorgle] The celebration is a big deal over in the americas although mostly among the Irish population, oddly enough :)
[snorgle] If you're a foreigner, and not Muslim, you can get a permit for a certain value per month. We will be sipping water, most likely; it's not the sort of "scene" one really wants to get into.
[flerdle] Drink orange juice, it's more interesting! :)
drinking and stuff
[flerdle]Or tomato juice. Put some Worcestershire sauce into it, and there you go! [ZK]I grew up in Canada and it's popular there too - especially amongst those who may possibly have had an Irish ancestor at some point, or knew someone who once drank a Guinness. The green beer and popcorn the loony lady across the street used to offer everyone, however, still gives me shivers.
[Breadmaster] Please cease from making your "vile Americanisation" comments. This is not the appropriate forum for them.
[snorgle] Lol. I suspect it really is just such a big deal over here because people want to drink a lot, and Guinness want them to. It's win-win apart from the poor sods who run the police stations and hospitals.
[rab] No offence intended - it's only the Americanism I deplore, of course, not Americans.
Housebuying saga
Well, until half past three yesterday afternoon I was going to become a homewoner on friday. Everything was set up, including my sofa being delivered to my boyfriends house (but it wouldn't fit through the dining room door, so is currently blocking the hall and being a huge health and safety risk) and a van and things booked. I'd chosen the white goods I wanted (with a little help from my firnds in the crescent!) And my solicitor has all my money. It was looking hopeful, but then, at approximatly 3.19pm GMT I received a call from the estate agent.
There was a SIX WEEK delay!
Some silly people up the chain (and as there's only three people involved I would call it more of a link that a chain, but anyway) are emigrating to NZ and have found out that they need to stay resident in the same property for 40 days, or something silly like that. So I can't move, and there's no point me pulling out as I want that house and I'd loose a lot of money having come this far. So I've just got to wait. And sulk.
And my state of mind wasn't helped yesterday by my mum telling me that I look awful in my bridesmaid dress for my brother's forthcoming wedding.
Hopefully seeing friends tonight and drinking to celebrate St Patrick's Day will help.
Gah!
[Lib]Sorry to hear it Lib! Is your mother usually so forthright? It's not going to turn into a soap opera, I hope. My father's family wedding always ended up in drunken brawls and being barred from the hotel they were staying in. [ZK]I won't be getting THAT drunk tonight(I hope!).
The maligned English saint
[pen] Quite. Standard conversation fair:
<Everyone>: So Nik, when's your birthday?
Nik: St. George's Day.
<Everyone>: Err. Sorry?
Nik: Mwuahahaha!
Or conversation fare, if you're not in the carnival mood.
St Paddy's
I had some Bailey's & Guinness myself, and kept it quiet.
St Patrick's Day
Breadmaster is right; St Patrick's day, as celebrated these days, is largely an American invention. Americans would do well to realise that on this side of the pond we merely like the Irish, but don't worship them.
Saintly festivals
Just to shove my oar in for a moment... British food and drink outlets seem to go loopy every St Patrick's Day, and I must concur with Rosie and Breadmaster's opinion that it's the US influence that fuels this. On the other side of the coin, I went into my local Tesco outlet (and it's the major one for the area) at the end of February to see what I could get to celebrate St David's Day (what with having Welsh ancestry). I was laughed at by staff. When I suggested that, surely, the massive efforts poured into their St Patrick's Day marketing might indicate a degree of 'racial bias' (I stopped short of institutional racism!), I was told "Well, you can buy a daffodil or a leek." I would have replied, but the manager had lost interest and walked away.
Dewi Sant
[UK] Wot, no lava bread or Welsh cakes? No Welsh whisky? No bottles of Brains, Felinfoel or Tomos Watkins? Disgrace!
St David
Well, there is always plenty of stuff available in Wales to celebrate it, but then Welsh cakes, although nice, aren't as exciting as Guiness, for most people. I think although it's definitely commercial - no-one really minds an excuse to drink and eat, just like at Christmas and Easter.
I'm going to make millions!
Right. My ambition now is to plan the mass-marketing off the back of St. David's Day. St. George's Day needs no help, in Clinton's at least, and I suspect is fuelled quite nicely by the football industry.
Pfft. I'm sure half of that wasn't in comprehensible english, but you get the right idea.
Guinness USA certainly capitalises on St Patrick's Day over here -- they've shown quite a few ads on TV here equating St Patrick's to Christmas, with everyone getting cases and kegs of Guinness and Harp....

[Nik] If St George had been asked what his birthday was, would he reply, "Nik's birthday"? (NB Nik's email address removed by request -- rab)

[ZK] I'd help you with the American marketing of St David's Day, but most Americans wouldn't know a Welshman if he came up and shoved a leek up their collective arses. ;) See also Church, Charlotte, meeting George W. Bush
[HB] Nowt Welsh at all, I'm sorry to say. Although I have tried and dislike laver bread, I would have bought any (or all) of the other items that you mentioned. I would also like to mention that difficulty my Irish father-in-law suffers in trying to find me a St David's Day card, on the back of my always sending him a St Patrick's Day card. Sceptics, note - he managed it once, so such cards do exist!
Welshmass
[DrQu+xum] I meant in the UK, where Welsh people are far more prevalent, although if it's successful I might try to crack the Big Market later on. :)
Wales, Mass.
[ZK] You need to get in touch with this fine body of people. Who will no doubt explain that it was, of course, the Welsh who discovered America in the first place, a fact disputed by Native Americans who unaccountably reckon that they got there first!
Party on!
With patrons like Catherine Zeta Jones and Siân Phillips its a must for my membership, The Social Welsh and Sexy Society.
Celebrations
[BM] I think you need to write to these people and explain to them the error of their ways. I've lived in Ireland and the U.S., and while I agree that abominations like green beer are a U.S. invention, it's simply not true that Patrick's Day is not celebrated in Ireland.
Saint's Days
(Dr Q) Isn't it true that there are probably a greater proportion of Welsh descent in Pennsylvania than in any other American state, though that proportion wouldn't be very large. Well, obviously, from what you say. It seems to me these Saint's days are used as yet another means of relieving people of their money, like Mother's Day (formerly Mothering Sunday) and Father's Day. I've got no kids, but I have two nieces, so what about Uncle's Day, or Eldest Son's Day. Come on! Oh, it's all bollocks, isn't it? :-)
[Rosie] I agree that much of it is commercial tripe. I was all for supporting Mothering Sunday and Father's Day in their original forms, but when "Grandparents Day" turned up in the shops, I lost all hope for my country. There's a line in Hocus Pocus - "Everyone knows Hallowe'en was invented by the candy companies!" which has, to a very great extent, influenced my more cynical side.
Katy Z. Jones-the-actress
My Dad, being a bit of a writer, would have had fun with a name like that. Get a Greek letter and a Welsh surname - mix 'n' match, alliteratively. In his memory I offer Catherine Pi Parry, Catherine Beta Bowen, Catherine Gamma Griffiths, Catherine Epsilon Evans and Catherine Delta Davies. Nos da i chi gyd (Night, night, all).
Anniversaries
[Rosie] I could not agree with you more (the Mum and Dad days, not the Welsh) commercialism has taken over the world! Over the years I have attempted to instill into my children that Fathers' Day is purely that (well, I can't comment on Mothers' Day - not my field!) and, finally, they have come to their senses. I have also attempted to impress upon them that a birthday is simply a date on the calendar. As you know, and I am now broadcasting it to the world, I turned sixty years of age a week or so ago BUT my son (I have two children, one of each gender) made me so happy when he popped in to say "Happy Birthday" and brought with him just a greeting card. My daughter on the other hand brought a bottle of rather nice port .... I am now re-thinking my stern attitude.        ;-)
Plymouth sham-rock
[BM] Have just noticed this: "I will celebrate St Patrick's day the day I celebrate Thanksgiving." :-)
[CdM] Of course it is celebrated in Ireland, but I understand that the notion of celebrating it originated in America.
[Projoy] Well, you get the idea!
rip-offs
I have noticed that the St Patrick's Day cards my mum receives seem to have changed from a religious theme, to more of a "Happy Green Irish Day!" with fluffy animals - and these are the ones from Ireland! I do get my mum things on Mother's Day (even though she says not to worry about it) but she does like getting presents. This year I've decided to go for something useful - she wants a new mobile phone, so I'll get her that, rather than chocolates or flowers. And I think I'll make or download a card, unless I see one I really like. She's doesn't mind that - she's very sensible, really.
[snorgle] Religion? What's that? Irish Day (as they are changing the name to next year) celebrates the birth of the first Leprechaun, Christmas celebrates the birth of Santa Claus, and Easter celebrates the birth of a rabbit from a large chocolate-coloured egg. Everybody knows there's nothing religious about any of these holidays! Or so my friends at Clinton's tell me.
days off
I think we should randomly celebrate any holiday so we get extra days off. After all, it's the 21st century, aren't we supposed to be living on the moon, working 3 hours a week and having our every need met by robots?
lunar-tic
[snorgle] Well, I was disappointed in 1999 that we weren't all flying around in Eagle Transporters, and that the moon wasn't blown out of Earth's orbit by an explosion of nuclear waste on its surface...
Look you in Pennsylvania
[Rosie] You're probably right -- many Welsh, including some of my mother's ancestors, came to both Western & Eastern Pennsylvania for the coal mining jobs from 1850-1920; some, like the Quakers, settled in the Delaware Valley much earlier (1640s-1700s). You can find a ton of Welsh town names in suburban Philadelphia -- Bryn Mawr, Berwyn, Radnor, even North Wales (maybe one could instigate a name-change to Trellistown? :)
Unlike Britain, though, the mining is still going strong. East-Central Pennsylvania has the largest deposit of anthracite coal in the world, and I'll bet a-dollar-to-a-daffodil that no less than half of its miners are of at-least-part Welsh descent.
This & that
(Dr Q) Thanks. But I bet there isn't a suburb called Llanerchymedd. :-) (snorgle)Technological advances certainly make life easier in many ways but their effect in the long run is that they simply enable more work to be done, with no increase in leisure. We work longer hours now (at least in Britain) than say 40 yrs ago.
working hard
The more technology there is, the more companies want to lay people off! That's one way to increase leisure time..
Mattriculations
I see Matt has just put his head round the door of one of the games. So, to celebrate - may I say "Hello Matt"?
Welsh
The area in and around Ipswich (West of Brisbane) was settled by Welsh people (and Germans, and Scots, and people from north-east England) in the 1800s; there's a suburb called Ebbw Vale that springs to mind straight away. It was a fairly large coalmining area too. Should be able to remember some of the other places around there, but can't right now.
[DrQ] Hm. Isn't it a bit rude to go slapping peoples' email addresses on public web pages without asking first, or any attempt at obfuscation? [rab] Can you sort that our for me, please?
[DrQ] And let me make my sentiments on this clear - I consider it bloody rude, and you've made me really quite angry.
Yes
It took me longer than a few minutes to sort out, for various technical reasons, especially at a time when I'm really snowed under with work and can't really spare more than the odd minute or two to post to these sites. So add me to the annoyed list, and also bear in mind that I do occasionally charge for my time at lawyer's rates.
My sincerest apologies
[Nik] I do apologise for my utter stupidity. [rab] If you can kill -9 that post, please do.
Thank you
[rab & Nik] Thanks for quickly eradicating my proof of idiocy. I'll go away for a bit in the hopes that things can cool off. Again, I apologise to both of you, and to the rest of you who had to witness that.
Re. Dr. Q.
Hi, folks. I missed the fireworks, but DrQu+xum has offered to resign from our Lock Cup championship game at the Lockisseum (he is the reigning champion) as a sign of remorse for whatever it is that just happened here. Personally, I would like our game to continue, but I'd like to know how people are feeling here. Thanks!
[Nik] My birthday is St. George's Day, by the way.
[Dr's Q and Lock] Oh, I doubt there's any need for that. An apology was all the compensation necessary, and it was paid in full. I wouldn't try and stop people coming here, even though MC5 does run on my equipment. The community doesn't need an evil overlord. [Dr Lock] Do you find it seems to land on weekends far less than your friends as well? Still, Friday's about as ideal as it gets.
All that was necessary for me, I mean. I wouldn't want to seem like I'm speaking for rab.
random celebration
What ho. It's St. Joseph's Day today, apparently. I think I celebrated by booking a holdiay. Which was nice.
Me too
I quite agree. DrQ's suggestion seems like taking things way too far.
The Lock Cup
Thanks, everyone. Guess I'll just have to remove Q from the Cup the old-fashioned way. Feel free to drop in and catcall from the cheap seats, by the way.
pfffft
I was late for work this morning - you know why? A friend rang me to tell me she was getting married on my birthday! How mean is that? Just 'cos it falls on a Saturday in July this year, does every cupid-struck couple have to go and pinch it for their own gooey nuptuals? Lay off my birthday, I say!
commandeering birthdays
ooooh pen - think yourself fortunate. No less than THREE, yes three ... members of my or partner's close family have chosen to die on my birthday. Since then, every year has been a "it may well be your birthday, K, but, it's exactly 2/3/7 years since ...... passed away, you know .." I'm made to feel really selfish because I want to enjoy my birthday [it falls at that time when everyone has just got over the aftermath of Christmas credit and is just about ready for fun, what with spring just round the corner] but ALAS no. *sigh* Compassion is the name of the game. Just call me Martyr :-)
squib
[Chalky] When's your birthday? We'll all send you presents this year! :)
Hello, Martyr, welcome to the board!
I don't suppose, perchance, that you are related to the Farqhars?
the morning after
[ZK] It was at the end of Feb on a Tuesday so, in determined fashion, I had a birthday party on the following Saturday so's not to clash with the 'death dates'.
[Duj] Not that I know of ... and Happy Birthday for last week to you, yourself, sir!
[Chalky] I remember reading Wuthering Heights and being struck by the fact that young Catherine doesn't celebrate her birthday because it's also the anniversary of her mother's death. This must have happened a lot in the days when childbirth was far more dangerous to the mother than it is today. Makes you think, doesn't it... Of course, Origen said that no Christian would ever celebrate their birthday, but then he had no private parts so we can ignore that.
(Cross-posting)
Wahey! New Doctor Who is Christopher Ecclestone!
what?
[BM]What? [UK]Yay!
Dr Who?
[UK] :) I'd read that earlier too! I've always thought CE was hideously underrated and I'm pretty fond of Dr Who...so I was much the joyous one today!
Okay, I'm better now. There was just a hell of a lot of bad things happening last Friday that just got me way down. Thanks to Nik & rab for accepting my apologies and I promise not to be as much of a w@nker from now on.
DrQ
Well, good! I was worried you were going off to hide in cyberspace and we might never see you again! ***big hugs**
[snorgle] *accepts and returns hugs* Thanks. Actually, upon further review, I notice that rab never said he accepted my apology....sorry for presuming as such.
Groan
I have ants in my kitchen. I suppose it was the Spring Equinox yesterday ... *grumble grumble grumble* (my fault really, I went away for the weekend and didn't clean up well enough before going)
ants
[Brendan] Put a wipe of neat lemon juice in several places across their route. It destroys the formic acid scent trail they've left for themselves and they won't find their way in to your pantry any more.
Ogre
[DrQ] I seem to have assumed ogre status. My comment entitled "me too" was supposed to have acted as an apology acceptance measure. Apologies for the lack of clarity on my part, and possibly for being slightly more grumpy than I needed to be... Group hug?
[penelope] But what about the ones that are in the kitchen when he does that? They won't be able to find their way back! They'll be lost! Do you want that on your conscience?
ants in pants
[pen]They may decide to build their own state - in the kitchen cupboard (or the underwear drawer) - the horror!

***hugs everyone***
I'm not usually this demonstrative, you know, but as we're online.. ;)

Giant ants are walking the earth
[Breadmaster] They're already dead. Very dead. And yet my concscience is clear. [pen] Cheers for the advice; unfortunately I didn't manage to work out where they were getting in (I did wait to kill them until I'd watched them running around for a while, but there wasn't an obvious entrance/exit, and then my insecticidal urges overtook me and I bludgeoned them all to death), but wiping the kitchen down with lemon juice doesn't seem as extreme as putting powder down everywhere.
more ants
[Bm]I'd rather have ants on my wipe-clean conscience than in my pants or my biscuit tin :o)
Thos were the days, my friend
Can I just say a very belated "Hello Thos" as well? Ta.
of nothing
hello. I have been in Chamonix Mont Blanc and it was loverley. Drove back to geneva airport on an uncrowded 2 lane autoroute yesterday am at 160kmh and it was a pleasure to pay the tolls (5 euros in total). The most pleasurable drive of my life - or high up there. Mont Blanc and it's sister's and brothers lit up by alpinr sun certainly beat anything the M4 has to offer. ***deeply contented sigh***
sister's
ahem. ha ha.
envious
[st d] Wow - autorouting in and around mountains ... lucky you.
Tonite
Just to let you know I won't be gracing the Chat Room tonight but only for the reason that I shall be out with my colleagues. I'm sure this announcement won't stop people assuming anyone who arrives in costume is me :)
oh yeah?
[rab] you DO tell porkies sometimes
europe
I'm off to Bella Roma on Wednesday! Yippee!!!!!
*fume*
*seethe* [zk] Lucky you. I neeeeeeed a holiday.
hunting
I had to search high and low for my post today.
Trappings
Bit quiet the mo.
Yah.
On the bright side, I just chatted with me mum in Aus. And the webcam works. woo.
hogging the space
So, not quite as hideous a day as was first thought. Still not the best.
Settling in
[flerdle] Great to see you posting from your new domicile ... that didn't take long! ... ;-) I trust all is well and Mr f is as organised as yourself.
Knackerd
1 hour to go then I bugger off home and forget all about the NHS for 13 hours.............
[widey] I hear you. After spending all night in a three-person team doing the work of a five-person team, I am about to put myself in the bed and remain there, if possible, for the next ten hours. Nasty working conditions do have an up-side, even if it's only when they end.
Greetings!
Allow me to break up the routine with a message from Rome!(Its not that boring here its just weve only just found the internet)If its any comfort to you, pen, the weather here is pretty rubbish anyway...
The rain in Rome
[ZK-o] S'ok... I have plans for a trip to Reykjavik next month (current temp: 0 degrees). I know it's getting close because I've started throwing socks into a backpack and enquiring about buying foreign currency. :o)
not *exactly*
[Dujon] Not quite in the new flat yet, so will probably still be a bit intermittent since we have no idea how long it will take to get a phone there. Until then, I'm making good use of what I have access to :-)
holidays
well, i am hoping my bruises will go down and am currently thinking of a long weekend maybe in Les 2 Alpes in late April for a bit of a glacier ski, then an unlikely but very tempting week or two in Chile in the summer for some S Hemisphere skiing and then a race camp in Austria in October. :o) All unlikely but fun to imagine....
noffink
No-one has said anything today. So I thought I might as well mention that the BIG DIET starts on Monday, and there should be a difference in me by the time we get to the Rugby pilg in May. :o)
[pen] Difference? You're not having the sex-change operation are you?
vive la difference
[pen] Woo. I hope you'll feed back your technique to me.
die(t)ing
I have a great diet! Just eat less. (Please ignore the mars bar in my mouth.)
nil by mouth
[Projoy] 'Feeding' is a word that is henceforth banished from my vocabulary. I will be existing on a series of meal replacements, (courtesy of that nice man at herbalife), caffeine tablets and cigarettes in a desperate attempt to prevent myself looking like a fat, shelf-bound spinster older sister at my younger sister's wedding in October, to be able to find something to wear for aforementioned wedding that doesn't have to come from the 'plus sizes' department, and hopefully to be able to fit into the £170-worth of linen trousers I have bought for the summer. (That's three pairs, by the way - I'm not into the huge-spending league just yet). I don't care that it relies on caffeine and soya. I just want to be smaller.
hello
[pen and all reducers] I've just finished a 60-hour week [I know it's not a lot by some standards but it was very intensive sort of work] so it's great to have time to catch up with the Morniverse. It's also quite exciting to see a reference to Rugbypilging in May. I'm going to cut out butter for the next six weeks in an attempt to rid myself of this blubbery lump around my middle. Oh yes - I'm also aiming to drink a couple of litres of water a day.
As it happens, I'm also on a diet, and so far I've lost a little over a stone.
die
Although I am drinking a remarkable amount of water, I am not on a diet, and you really do NOT want to know how much oil there is in a biryani, as taught to me by a nice Iraqi woman. Further investigations of regional cuisine will be undertaken soon.
Dieting
Here's a cheering thought: when the Allied forces liberated the concentration camps, they found no fat people. Therefore, it is possible.
You know when...
As symptoms of too much online MC go, I think starting a page of notes with the title "Slap this jammy factor" must count as one of them.
Concentrate...
[Raak] Yes, I guess it's all a matter of concentration. Where do you find a Japanese or Nazi prison guard when you need one? (And if I might say so, you speak like the enviably skinny person you are... :op)
diggings
I just found The Encyclopaedia Morningtonia here: http://www.satiche.org.uk/satiche/sat-0207.htm. Have I not been following the chat, or did anyone know?
[pen] It was mentioned in the Morniverse a while ago. It seems to have added an acknowledgement of its source since then, but the URL of course doesn't work.
unmarried ladies
I was looking at an old marriage certificate (circa 1942) at work today, and noticed that the the bride (aged 18) was described as a "spinster"! I never realised that applied to any unmarried woman (unless she was thought old to be unmarried at 18).
the spin
All first time brides were known as 'spinsters' [and possibly may still be so - but I haven't got married for a while so I don't know] and their age had nowt to do with it. It's interesting how the word now [to those aged 30 and younger]conjures up an image of a a lady past her prime.
... whereas batchelor, the gender opposite, conjures up an image of the footloose and fancy-free young blade. Life's a b*gger really, for us girlies.
Shelves
Surely not! A spinster, just like a bachleor, is someone of marriagable age (definition liberal) who isn't? I have never thought of it as otherwise.
Spinsters etc
(Chalky) You don't need to be under 30 to think of a spinster as unmarried and no chicken. The word was a bit old-fashioned even in my childhood (40's - 50's), and mildly derogatory. Its original meaning was "female spinner" (of yarn). This was presumably thought a proper way for unmarried ladies of a certain age to occupy their time, in the absence of vibrators, though who knows.
Yippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........
Home in 55 minutes and 5 nights off......Will the NHS survive without me, probably. Do I care if it doesn't, no!!!!!
As Rosie says, a spinster is just an unmarried woman, but it has acquired unofficial overtones of left-on-the-shelfness. If you have banns read in church before your marriage, the woman is always described as "spinster of this (or another) parish".
Spinsters
It's all part of the gender bias inherent in the English language. Get a thesaurus and look up 'manly' and 'womanly'.
bias schmias
Hmmph. It works both ways... Being left on the shelf means you sometimes get mixed up with the rejects and the returns, which sometimes ain't so bad. This weekend is an interesting one, for complicated (and unexpected) reasons. I just hope I've got enough lipstick to last me until tomorrow. BTW (and to start another subject) I bought a petrol-engined lawn mower on the web last night. It's going to be delivered to my office on a day when I'm out at meetings all day. Am I completely nuts? (On second thoughts, don't answer that)
*doesn't answer, but...*
*sends in the white-coated squirrels*

mmmm, machinery. Is that just for your patch of lawn, or are you thinking of going into business? And has the back corner managed to reassert itself, or is the forest properly under control now?
Mind you, I can't talk, I'm still slightly in love with my new fridge. It purrs...

Manly vs womanly
[Tuj] Womanly means to exude femininity or lady-like qualities, whereas Manly is a suburb of Sydney, Australia. ;)

I don't believe I've heard the term "spinster" used in America for...well...ever.
digital camera
Yay! I finally got one, that can be used to take short videos and act as a webcam, for the princely sum of £17.95, including postage! I can now use the internet for its true purpose - putting up pictures of my cats (once I get some webspace sorted - I get some free from NTL). I'm looking forward to selling shiny objects on E-bay, as well. ;)
digital knobs and dials
[Snorgle] Don't be ridiculous. The internet's true purpose is so men can chat you up by sending you pics of their tattoos and knobs and you can pretend to be impressed. (And £17.95??? Did you get the decimal point in the wrong place?)
Clocking off
Just to let you know I'm stepping into the Slovak Republic for a few days, so if you don't hear from me, that's why. Oh, and not impressed with myself at booking an 8.15am flight on the morning the clocks go forward...
[pen] For a fine selection of knobs you could do worse than look here.
knobbing it large
[rab] Thanks, sweetie. It even gave me the option of 'knobs - small, medium, large' :oD
wrong places
Nope, it was that cheap. I really didn't want anything fancy, just something to try out. It was discounted too. I actually got some nice photos today! Here it is.
go pen, GO!
[pen] Good luck on your mission to shrink. Sounds tough, but I'm sure you'll cope. I'm on a exercise mission to minimise my waistline to fit better into my bridesmaid corset and skirt, will be going to the gym later for multiple sit-ups. But only when i can prise myself out of my pyjamas!
[widey] Which bit of the evil NHS do you suffer in? I'm quite content at the moment as its my third weekend off in a row! But next week I'll be back to miserable, downtrodden Lib!
The value of the penny
pen] I'm on my 10th week of weight loss - so far I've managed about 1.5 stone. I’ve found that if I substitute my normal meals with low-fat options, I just crave the high-fat version. Low-cal stuff is often (not always) crap - so I've taken to eating really high quality stuff so that when I do eat, I've really got something to look forward to. Plus I've discovered Lebanese cooking - fabulous couscous and fresh onion salads, houmus, pitta bread, fresh mint leaf tea...
[Btd] Sounds delicious... I'll have to find a book. I'm still waiting for the diet stuff to arrive, but now I have a lurgy which isn't going to make it much fun...
the dreaded!
Oh, that ruined my last diet! I got a cold and just felt too miserable to cut down - I was drinking loads of hot chocolate, etc..
lurgy survival
pen, snorgs] Chicken soup is good for lurgy and diets. If you can wait for it, go for this one.
bob boc boc
I'm a veggie - so I'd better not.. :)
chikensoupicillin
[Btd] I make a chicken soup so substantial that it becomes a meal in itself - I ate it three nights in a row last week. Wish I'd frozen some of it now :o(
Orthographic pedantry
It's Lurgi. Think Italian. Trust me; I heard it first time round. :-)
lurgi
[Rosie] I'm snotterini too. *Atciao!*
[penelope] (back one post) Wouldn't that have been a chicken lollipop?
Quiet night in outer space?
No e-pilg tonight?
e-pilg
Sorry, DrQ, busy tonight! My brother is coming over from Canada on Wednesday, and I'm still getting his room ready..
Indeed a quiet night.
[snorgle] Yes, I see he took the cold with him. ;)
Lurgi
Has anyone heard this pantomime sequence? (don't know which pantomime) - 1st witch: Where's the fairy princess? 2nd witch: She's in bed with the dreaded lurgi. 1st witch: Oo-er! 2nd witch: Oh, I dunno, I quite fancy Italian men meself.
Sniffles
Lurgi has now struck here too...
Lurgi
Well, *I* still can't get rid of this damned bronchitis that's been bugging me since the beginning of the month. It's mostly died down but it won't go away...
*atchoo*
Was out with Mother last night, after dropping off older sister at the airport for her return to the US. I'll be there next week :o) The lurgi is steadily taking a grip... :o(
not so cute
My two and a half year old, Thomas, picked up the lurgi over the week end. Unfortunately being so little he does not quite understand the concept of blowing his nose into a tissue, with the consequent torrent of stickyness streaming from his nose. As I leave you with the wonderful picture in your mind of this shimmering gunge glistening in the soft light of spring. Ponder a few seconds further on semi transparent bubbles on the end of his nose each time he sneezes.
[pen] I don't suppose a side-trip to Da'Burgh is in your plans? :(
oops
[DrQ] Bleeeaaaauuuurgh. I meant I'll be in the chatroom next week, not I'll be in the US. I realised once I posted it how rong (that's right, R-O-N-G, rong) it looked, but was too busy sneezing to put it right.
*hangs yellow flag outside door*
I'm not coming back here until everyone is recovered!
*hands round tissues, paracetamol, cups of tea and some sympathy to all those suffering from lurgi*
I'd send some warm weather, but having a summer cold is foul.
Guarantees
[Btd] That would guarantee you a pat down search... depends what floats your boat, I suppose.
ISIHAC Pilg In Rugby In May
If anyone is interested, I've just posted here.
Get Well Soons
....and * a comforting pat * to all you poorly people. Awww.
change of subject
Sorry to change the subject and anticipating that I am about to whine --- Two and a half weeks ago I was in a car crash. A lady who reports for a local tv station zoomed through a red light and creamed me. I was lucky in that she did not hit the driver's side door. But I still hurt and I still find in idle times that I relive the event. Worst thing I've been through, although I'm sure many have been through worse. My car, meanwhile, is a total loss. So finding transportation after the rental car is done is also a concern. Just wanted to vent.
Awww!
[Tina] Sorry to hear that. *a comforting pat for you aswell *. I hope they throw the book at her.
Bumps and lumps
[Tina] Bad luck, that sort of event is never pleasant. If my experience is anything to go by those sudden memories will slowly reduce in frequency - a bit like the bruises, I suppose. I had a few bingles when I was younger (not all my fault, by the way) but maturity (?) brings sanity, adherence to speed limits and a much more alert attitude. I too had a lady fly through a red light and hit the area of the driver side rear wheel; it's a little disconcerting when one thinks about the timing! The worst thing I found is the incredible inconvenience of not having your own transport following the incident. I was fortunate enough to have a good friend who loaned me his FWD for the duration (I used to arrive at work at 5 am in those days, at which time there was no train which would allow that). Fortunately the lady involved admitted her error - I hate to think what might have happened should she have disputed my version.
Tina and sympathy
[Tina] *offers more sympathy* It's trite, but it helps to remember that it could have been worse. My most recent experience of something similar was when my collarbone was shattered about six months ago by an idiot out-of-control a****** (or, for our British readers, a*******) in a soccer match. I'm still recovering, dealing with tendonitis in my upper arm and very odd clicks in my shoulder; and even with insurance, it cost me several hundred dollars. So it still pisses me off that I bear the consequences of someone else's irresponsibility and stupidity. BUT -- and the BUT is very important... 1. I didn't land on my head and suffer a spinal injury, which I easily could have. 2. In the emergency room that evening I remember passing a legless guy in a wheelchair. That has helped me keep the incident in perspective ever since.

Truth is, life throws us some nasty experiences from time to time. If they end up being no worse than mine or yours, we are lucky. As I said, it's trite. And true.
[Tina] Ooh, ouch. I'm sure as Dujon says you'll feel better in time, but that doesn't necessarily help when you're in the middle of it, so *sympathy*.
Anyone who breaks the law whilst driving should be banned forever. No exceptions.
[Bm] Well, that takes at least 90% of drivers off the road immediately.
ty
Thanks all for the kind words. They do help.
accidents
Tina] Surely your insurance will cover you for a new car until her insurance pays out ? Are the police pressing charges (or are you?) - My advice would also be to see a Personal Injury Lawyer about it. Apparently any claim for injury/worry caused are automatically accepted by insurers if they are not over a certain limit (a few grand) when they start to check up.....I know it is not greatly helpful at the moment but I am sure that when a cheque finally arrives from her insurers it will make you feel better. I'm against stupid litigation generally, but in car accidents like this they are rarely stupid and you should also be vigilant for any signs of injury that may not be yet manifesting themselves - neck, back especially.
BM] That is an ***utterly*** ridiculous thing to say.
Cars
[st d, raak, bm] We probably don't want a repeat of the 'speeding as crime'/'stupid speed limits' argument.
[Tina] Sorry to hear about that. I've never been in a serious road accident so don't know how it feels, but I do know my sister suffered for quite some time after a car drove into the passenger side of the car she was a passenger in. Time seems to be healing her, as I'm sure it will you,
I was about to post about the fantastic day I've had belting my car around Oulton Park, but I won't, now.
'otfooting round Oulton
[Nik] At least you let all yours out on the track where it's legitimate rather than playing in real traffic. Good for you. And [Tina] *sympathy* too. What a bummer.
[Tina; following on from st d] If you do end up suing (and when something similar happened to my other half she didn't seem to get much choice in the matter, the insurance company just decided they were going to [no prosecution, though -- the police are holding the threat of same over the culprit's head to make him take some sort of How Not To Be A Complete Idiot Of A Driver course]) don't forget to mention those nasty flashbacks you've been having ... Our legal system seems significantly keener on compensating emotional distress than physical injury.
the horn, it goes "beep, beep"
All this talk of motor vehicles... I've been having the slightly surreal experience of learning to drive on the wrong side of the road. Granted, the roads here are in +superb+ condition, but everyone drives like they have some lower limb condition that prevents them from taking the weight off the right pedal. There's not so much of the crazy weaving and cutting in and tailgating (not as much as, apparently, in the UAE), it's just that they drive really, really fast. And then some. I have been doing very well (manual car, too), mainly because I'm reasonably ambidextrous, and I'm a spatial thinker, so turning things back to front in my mind (or contorting them in some other way) as required is pretty easy. The only thing I've noticed is an unconscious drifting to the right within the lane, which I find rather puzzling.

And for bizarre traffic, just one word: India

continental drift
[flerdle] The drift to the right is to be expected. You are used to driving a right-hand drive car, which means you are used to most of the car being to the left of you (equivalently, you, as an individual, are used to being on the right side of the traffic lane). Now most of the car is to your right, which means if you place yourself (your body) in the position in the lane that you are used to, the car will be too far to the right. As someone whose driven pretty extensively on both sides of the road, I actually find this is the biggest problem of adjustment -- more than actually making the mistake of turning onto the wrong side.

But you should take care in the next week or so: the dangerous time for accidentally driving on the wrong side is typically after a few days, when you stop thinking so consciously about which side of the road you should be on.

[nik] er, I think Bm was _kidding_; and I think (hope) that Raak and st d knew that.
[Breadmaster] There is a small country in which that is actually the case. I am pretty sure it's Kiribati. I remember reading they brought in a zero tolerance policy around 2000, and have since banned about half their drivers, without much effect on the economy, so I gather.
There's no reason to think it would have a major impact on the economy. In most economies the transportation sector is a pretty small fraction of GDP, and other forms of transportation typically operate as effective substitutes for private vehicles. Plus the revenue that would have gone to the transportation sector ends up being spent elsewhere, so on net the effects are going to be minimal. In fact, the impact could be positive, in that there may be stronger multiplier effects in the tradeable sectors of the economy (which is where at least some of the spending will go), and the policy would also eliminate some of the uncompensated costs, such as pollution and congestion ("externalities" in economists' lingo), from cars. Thus I might actually expect to see improvements in the balance of trade, little impact on tax revenues (and hence on the government budget deficit), and a positive (though probably negligible) effect on growth rates. Of course, this analysis presumes that the monetary authority pursues an apprpriate interest rate policy to ensure that the impact on the financial sector is minimized.
[Projoy] As Kiribati consists of groups of archipelagos spread over about half the Pacific Ocean, and none of the islands are very big, this means that (a) you can't drive any particularly useful distance in the first place, and (b) air and sea travel is much much more important.
Banning half the drivers in Britain may seem like a good idea to some (e.g. Richard Brunstrom, chief constable of Mrs Trellis' neck of the woods (N Wales)), but taking (say) half the HGVs off the roads would place an intolerable strain on the rail infrastructure, which, in any case, leaves far too many places unserved. OR you double the number of aircraft plying our domestic skies - and you'll know how much stick air travel comes in for for its alleged impact on pollution levels.
Well, maybe I was kidding a little bit. Perhaps it would be more realistic to say that anyone who breaks the traffic laws has to retest before they can drive again, with possible relaxations of the law for those to whom driving is intrinsically part of their jobs. That's as un-draconian as I'm prepared to go, though.
[Breadmaster] I'd go the other way -- if people are going to be driving a great deal, they should be subject to more stringent testing, not less. I think the only real way to make your system work would be if there was a decent public transport alternative so that people (particularly in rural areas) couldn't plead that they simply have to be able to drive. Which inevitably means subsidising it, but you get a heap of environmental/congestion/etc. benefits too ... I'll get off my hobbyhorse now.
[Projoy] It may not have affected their economy, but 75% of the car factories in Rawaki have gone out of business since the policy was introduced ...
of nothing in particular
Would anybody like to see my potograph of a little horsey who looks like MOOMIN ? Well if you do, HERE it is. :o) Moomins. I wonder what he is doing now ?
[Brendan] I think you're right. A tricky one. But as someone said, we don't want to get into this argument again.
[StD] You're right! He does look like a Moomin. Very cute.
arguments
do you like the way I am trying to divert the topic from cars to horses ?
[StD] You're doing a fine job. I think we can all agree to like horses, especially ones that look like Moomins. Even though a horse bit me once, and it darnedly hurt, I can tell you.
I think that anyone who rides a horse carelessly should be retested and banned for life. Particularly if it looks like a Moomin.
horses
PJ] Do you not think that some of the responsibility should lie at the hooves of the horse ?
Indeed...
..it surely behooves us to at least lay some responsibility at his hooves. (Now I bet you will never hear that sentence again)
[st d] I am not sure. I have never been behooved myself. Perhaps I will form a stronger opinion if I am.
[Projoy] Maybe we could resort to satyr?
Ticket
Hello. I'm back. Glad to see nothing untoward is happening, apart from Tina's accident of course for which I offer my condolences.
Hmmm
That killed the conversation...
conversation killers...
Talking of which, the new diet makes my wee green. It's worth the hideous expense and pain of meal replacements for the entertainment value. [Lib] Any explanation?
wee green
reminds me of the 14th at the Royal & Ancient. Tiny tiny tiny and surrounded by bunkers.
green pee!
[pen] I've never heard of green wee before...... Perhaps you're turning into an alien! I've come across bright red (not good), maroon (not bad) and orange (also not bad), plus the usual normal variations. The other day I saw wee akin to cottage cheese! YUM!
Lime Green Wee
Pills with chlorophyll colour my wee lime green - it looks like it could glow in the dark. BTW, when is Rugby? Have I missed it?
Rugby Ball
Bool] Rugby is on May 15th, so you've not missed it. However, I am reluctantly attending a school reunion tomorrow (03.04.04) to which I feel urged to remind you, you qualify to attend. Your company would be most welcome, especially if I get to find out why you have to take chlorophyll greenwee tablets.
chlorowee
[Boolbar] That'll be it. Chlorophyll is one of the ingredients in the formulae. I'll be photosynthesising nicely then. Dark reactions, light reactions... *forgets most plant biology*
Vroom! Vroom!
Can't hold it in any longer: Car pr0n! 15mpg....
naaaaaaaaaaah!
[Nik] You don't wanna be driving one of those! You wanna be driving one of these!. This is part of what I do... VIP passes available for my very close friends or see your local press for competition tickets closer to the date! :o)
[Nik] Golly - I do wish I lived near a circuit like that so I could give my TT a good thrash sometime.
you dont wanna drive one of those
Not Bernie...
[Btd] You didn't know? Good grief, man - get out from under that stone! But, yes, I agree!
more red carpet
After last weeks Celebdaq success of x_sugarbabe_x in reaching the top of Celebrity Mornington Crescent for the first time, it is now the turn of ffiish (aka Graham III) no stranger to the red carpet, the last time, was only in January.
Lol...I keep thinking Ronni Ancona/Lorraine Kelly stylee..."You need a pair of these!"
[pen] always glad to solve life's little mysteries. [btd] 03.03.04? But that's today! and it's 7pm! and I've nothing to wear!
daquiri
Ooh. Why thank you. Not really been paying too much attention, but it seems that Sven was a good investment. I'm in Europe at the moment (and for the next few weeks) so going to slip rapidly I think. Anyone in the Paris area, Munich area, Prague area? Would love to meet an English speaker! mail:at:graam:dot:me:dot:uk
Bollox n stuff
Offline for 7 days!!!! I have withdrawl symptoms!!!
Weather.
April 4th. Latrobe, PA: 1 C, snow flurries.

GAAAH!
Today's date is 04.04.04 and you know what? My big sis is 40 today... how's that for planning?
JUST LAUGH TO BURST
I ONCE SAW A PRODUCER OF CONDOM AT ENERHEN ROAD IN WARRI CARRYING TWO KIDS ON HIS HEAD WHEN I ASK WHY THIS ACTION? HE REPLIED MY CUSTOMERS ARE COMPLAINING OF THE EFFECTIVENESS OF MY CONDOMS AND THESE ARE THE PRODUCTS OF THEIR COMPLAIN. SO.....LOL......HAHAHAHAHAH. DO U THINK CONDOMS PREVENTION OF HIV/AIDS CAN MEET THE CUT OFF MARK.IF YES CONTINUE TO USE THE CONDOM,IF NO PLEASE TRY ABSTENANCE.
Fabulous.
ahhhhhhhhhhh
The British weather it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I have 2 days off and the forecast is rain........oh joy and delight abound NOT
wetwang
[widey] Why not look at it positively? These two days are the only two days you can go out and enjoy the rain with impunity. Get your wet weather gear on, have plenty of hot water waiting at home for a long hot soak, and go out in it. Admire it for what it is - just another kind of weather, no less beautiful than sunshine or fog, but admittedly inconvenient if you're dressed for sometjing else. As they say, there's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing. Sorry. I'm on a restricted diet, you know
Mmmm. Bath.
more royal bust up
Mrs Becks shares are starting to twitch!!
daqing
I'm hanging onto Prince William due to his hopefully high divvies..
pj] Exeter.
Mmmm. Weston-Super-Mare.
Royal knockout
I'm on the Queen. She's getting loads of coverage here in Paris cos of the 100th anniversary of the entente cordiale, but I don't know whether that's being covered in the broadsheets. Half of Paris is closed today. For one doddery old woman. Makes you think. Not for very long, but it does, doesn't it?
Knocking Out Royals
I'm currently working in the 24th storey of a building overlooking Buckingham Palace, so I see HM coming and going by helicopter from the back lawn frequently. I wonder how long I'd last if I were to point a long tube towards her???
It must be one of the best views in London.
Get your Royal Kock Out!
[Projoy, st d, Chalky] You're all wrong. Chew Magna.

[GIII] You're on the Queen. I think there's a few tabloid editors who might be interested in that...

Eurostar
[GIII] That sounds like someone keen to keep on top of the Celebdaq, yours could be a wise choice as the queen will have lots of coverage and possibly even front page of the broadsheets. And tomorrow she will meet President whats-his-face of France - even more pics and column inches.
[snorgle] your a big softie.
I'm on the Queen....
sounds like something you'd overhear someone saying on their mobile phone. Or rather something you probably wouldn't.
That sounds like a cue for my Moscow story, but then again, it probably isn't.
pravda
ZK] go on tell us anyway. But keep it brief and witty.
Queenie
It's looking a decent choice, but the Beckhams' divis will be pretty high as well. Watch a space...

[rab] £50,000, exclusive. Cheap at the price...
I don't know about witty..
I was on a school trip to Moscow and I was the only russian student there, so everyone was used to me translating everything...we were walking down the Arbat and a man went past three of us, speaking loudly into his mobile phone. I quipped, "Hello! I'm on the train!" And Karoline turned round and said "Really?" ...Wrong for so many reasons....
Has the orange gone rotten?
I've been trying now and then for the last three or four hours. Has the site gone down, or is it just me?
rotten oranges
I'll check...
do not readjust your set
seems alright to me.
Orangey
[Dujon] Up as far as I know, and no reports of any downishness.
Hums
Hums (again, it seems)
It must be me. The site flatly refused to talk to my browser (I normally go straight into the site using the MCIOS skin) BUT when I attacked the site in a normal hacking manner (I am a smoker) all worked well; buzzed off to the MCIOS skin and it worked. Now I can access through my old 'bookmark'. Urrghhhhhh.

I may not be on for the next few weeks as my fourteen pounder, sitting quietly in the shed at the moment, may be called upon to do its duty.
cryptics
[Duj] Your fourteen pounder? New baby? Marrow?
Throwing weight around
Sounds like a man planning an Eddie Shoestring reboot.
Heavy metal
[Chalky] INJ is correct. It's a hammer; a bloomin' big hammer. :-o
cracking a nut with a ....
So it's a hammer. AND?
Action
Well, Chalky my dear, I'm about to find out about the 'AND' bit. Stand by.

Testing, testing

Tes(%╕Ñ▓ü▒êª╝╜┐

I felt that!
More celebdaq stats
Sometimes I think about the Celebdaq (probably more often than is good for me) and I've been wandering around and came to the stange decision that I needed more of 'it'. So now I've opened another account (Cleddau) and joined the waiting list of Celebdaq Discworld Guild Minileagues, which has 14 leagues of 30 players!! relegation and promotion !!!
There's an msn group called The Celebdaq Basements which has links to two very good tools. The one exampled is the Potential and Previous Dividends
Name Price
(Fri 00:00)		 Price
(Wed 06:00)		 Price
(latest)		 Last Div Total Gain
Last Week		 Total Gain
since Wed 06:00 		Potential Div Pot Yield
for Week 		Price Gain Pot
Total Gain
Victoria Beckham 3.43 3.89 4.15 3.28 86.91 6.68 14.23 414.87 20.99 435.86
Prince William 3.84 4.88 5.20 6.39 232.14 6.56 7.93 206.51 35.42 241.93
The Queen 4.11 4.80 5.13 5.76 178.03 6.88 8.75 212.90 24.82 237.71
David Beckham 6.63 7.40 7.89 2.97 25.65 6.62 13.65 205.88 19.00 224.89

Graham III could well have chosen right in going for the Queen instead of David Beckham tomorrow will tell. I'm almost excited ...time for a custard cream or two to settle the nerves :o)
Oh well...
Looks like Viccy B was the way forward. I'm miles off.
More vinyl
Today has been one of those rare occasions when I can dig out my albums, (some of which I have not listened to for several years) the Inkspecks have gone to stay overnight with the grandparents leaving me to decorate the living room. There's buried memories in them bits of black vinyl. Back then the music was part of what I did. Today listening to the intro of 'The Great Om Rift' by Steve Hillage made the hairs on the back of my neck rise just as it did when I first heard it,(I can still picture him on the stage of the Crdiff Uni). Tonight my task is to find some old tapes I made of the singles I bought at the time, as stopping every three minutes to 'spin the next disc' may lose its appeal very quickly.

Meanwhile over at Celebdaq and Celebrity Mornington Crescent its congrats and celebrations for Chalky who rises to No1 only question is, with which Royal family?
For the first time i've tried out the advanced trading tool which gives a very easy to read at a glance read out of which shares are moving and by how much over the last hour, three hours and since midnight, taking away much the guess work. I could work it out by the percentages.
I had bought Goldenballs some months ago knowing sooner or later he would hit the headlines. The account has been bumping along the bottom of the league for sometime, but patience has finally paid off.

html reprise
Its the second time I've made this mistake now, the "r" was missing from "href" so please insert this into the above posting ..... celebrations for Chalky who rises to No1....
chattin'
[Inkyspot] Thanks. I put all my shares on Vicky Becks even before the twitch. Also, it's only fair to admit that I'm also playing x_sugarbabe_x because the daughter lost interest in the Daq after a few weeks. In my sugary role I placed all my money on Mister Becks [the cheating b*stard]. Now I'm hedging my bets on both accounts between both royal families, but have spotted Arnie is on the rise. Wass 'e done NOW?
*note to self: must read the newspapers*.
Glad to hear you had some space to yourself for vinyl stroking.
Ommm .....
[Inkspot] Blimey, someone else who owns "Green". One great record, if you can get used to the vocals! I never saw him live, but I do have "Live Herald", one of the best live albums by anyone, ever.
Vinyl: it's the new black
Chalky] Be careful of Arnie, he picks up every Friday but his libido only lasts till Sunday, so if you need something for the weekend slip him into your top pocket. He has a rugged saw tooth profile as people throw their divi's at him on Friday morning only to cash in on Monday to transfer over to the news story of the week, so his value drops again.
So there you have it Arnie the quickie one-night-stand of the Celebdaq.
The 'vinyl stroking' went well today and has eased my pent up frustrations.

HB] I was lucky enough to see him twice during that era, the second time was when he was promoting 'Green' at a concert at Cardiff's Top Rank, they were selling the album along with all the other memorabilia. Anyway the album is a prized possesion, he autographed the record label and signed it with the om symbol. I agree Live Herald is a great album but I cheated at tea time and put the on the Live in Concert at the BBC CD.

I had my first ever, ever, ever virus today on the pc. After downloading the latest update, as usual, I ran the full scan, it discovered and removed a trojan called downloader.nex.B, I had picked it up somewhere when surfing. Although I'm up to date now, I could stumble across its like again tomorrow or the next day but unless I run my virus scan everyday I'll never know. Is this something I should seriously consider or am I becoming paranoid after one incident?

's a bit quiet in 'ere, innit?

[weather report] Another greyish day here, but no hope of rain, of course. Keeps the temperature down, though - about 31 or so most of the time here, down to 22ish at night. Am wondering when it'll start heating up properly. And planning to escape it :-)

Irritating diseases
[Inkspot] Do you have anything set up to scan everything you download automatically? I have found both Norton 2003 and McAfee (latest one) pretty good at that. You can also get utilities that sit there looking for unusual horsing around, which you can get in packages. There are, iirc, one or two free trojan horse finders which run through a lot quicker than a full system scan.
[flerdle] Might be with being Easter weekend and all.
[Dunx] Yeah. I only remembered part way through Friday. Thankfully I've avoided most of the Easter commercial hype (what a relief); sort of to be expected here :-)
locked out
I can't get into the chatroom and there's an eplig going on. *sob*
pests
Graham III] Thanks for your note on the virus and trojan scans, I have AVG and Zone Alarm running in the background the whole time which pickup things like;
The firewall has blocked Internet access to your computer (TCP Port 715) from 142.163.205.65 (TCP Port 3683)
The firewall has blocked Internet access to your computer (TCP Port 901) from 68.86.243.159 (TCP Port 2772)
which are two from tonight 68.... is a frequent caller perhaps 142 is worth a look over at Whois. The email is scanned by AVG and touch wood my Inbox has been junk free with only my expected mail from NASA, ESA and Loonies, everything else gets routed to Hotmail. However for the last three years I've been running a peer-to-peer program on cancer researh from United Devices/Grid.org. One of the sites identified this type of regular data transfer as a possible way in for the unscrupulous!
awwww
[Lib] therethere *patpatpat* next week...
googlewacking
this site is a googlewack
waspish carping
[Ich] Not any more, it ain't.
carpish wasping
Maybe we should keep track of the number of times people pop up and say that? I'm sure it happened at least once before here..
celebrity sos
Tommorrow (wednesday) we're off down to Broad Haven for a couple of days till the end of half term to stay in a caravan. With no access to the 'net could I ask please if someone from Celebrity MC could send me the page, gareth underscore penn athotmaildotcom so that I can do the usual.
I'm too excited...
Here I am, all packed, too excited to go to bed yet... will try and post somewhere into the Morniverse from Reykjavik later this week :o)
Liddle Gyser
Pen] Ah - wonderful Iceland.* envyenvyenvy *. Business or pleasure? Either way, be sure to take a bus inland to see the waterfalls. Under no circumstances miss a dip in the blue lagoon.
Half term?
Surely the Easter holidays haven't finished yet!?
Eggsellent
Easter? Oh, so that's why I had an extra day off.
Rugby ball update
Chalky has reminded me that there are only 31 more days until ISIHAC 2. Several folks have been contacting Chalky with contributions - please send them to me @nettlesoup, that is a .co.uk address and my name is bobthedog
Shattering the silence...
*trumpet fanfare* I'm very excited to announce to you all that I've bought a house! We've exchanged contracts today to move later in the month. I didn't believe that it was going to happen as its been a rough ride, but it is! Yay! I've got some piccies which I'll post if enough of you are interested.....
*cheers*
ooh, yes please.
not much convincing needed!
Click here.
House!
[Lib] Congratulations! I particularly like the matching buggies in the back...
Ah....
I notice the title of that page is out-of-date... *tweaks various knobs* Not any more!
Castles
Terrific, Lib. I hope all goes smoothly with the move and that the house and area turn out to be what you expected. Exciting times indeed - good luck!
[Lib] I remember the pain of buying a house... well done! My house is scarily similar to that in format. If I had a digitally-inclined camera, I'd be tempted to replicate the shots. On the other hand, the car pr0n seems to be killing my bandwidth, so more pictures would be a bad idea, I think.
I have a horrible case of the shakes at the moment. I can barely type. This is odd, because I've only had 2 pints of weak lemonlager, and a mere 3 cans of Diet Coke, today. Not much caffeine yesterday, either. Bizarre.
Lib's abode
It looks great Lib. [Lovely pic of you in the bedroom] An interior design tip .. in the kitchen - lose the tiles, keep the wine.
er ..
[Lib] I am assuming that IS you in the bedroom. Apologies if I've been a bit presumptuous.
I Often.....
Lose my tiles in the kitchen after drinking wine.......It should be a compulsory house purchasing sport! And on a completely different note I've just finished building a new Koi pond from recycled house bricks and it look fabulosoe...............chin chin everyone.......
Thanks or all your nice words. [Dunx] I too like the buggies in the garden, but the vendors won't let me keep them! [Chalks] That's my Mum, I was behind the camera! You'll have to wait till the superpilg to see my face!
fault lines
[Lib] Having just returned from Iceland (and having been educated in all things seismic) I think you were sensible not to buy the blurry houses on either side. Looks like they might be laying along a tectonic fault and are suffering frequent tremors. Congratulations! :o)
Boyce
I would have thought the caption might have tipped the wink as to the identity of the lady in question...
[rab] Read? Are you quite insane, sir?
[Pilg] Er, being my typical parnoid self, I'm beginning to worry about the upcoming pilg. I have vague, distant memories about confirming my desire to attend to someone (Chalky?), but what am I supposed to be doing (if anything) about accommodation? Am I giving a lift to Manchester-based peoples, or are we going by train? Yes, yes, there's almost a full calendar month left, but still.
Lib
I too assumed it were Lib, and that maybe she had a wee baby. Certainly the picture is in much shadow, but Lib's Mum looks very much like a friend of mine who is about 28, which would make Lib about 15 at the very most assuming Momma fell pregnant so early, and would still be very young to actually be buying a house....
Lib's mum and Nik's room
[rab] the words 'proud parent' could mean proud owner of new home? eh eh ...? oh alright ...perhaps not
[Nik] Yes - you're booked into hotel. Single room. JLE, rab & Lib might be in the epilg in MCiOS tonight - I know there was some talk about travel from M'chester last week. I'll be there mesself at about 9.30 pm for Q's about the hotel and timings.
Thanks for that. I will try to be in the chat room tonight, but usually forget about these things.
Spleen
I wonder if it's time for a spring clean? Mind you, from the position of not currently being very active in the games I may not be the best person to judge.
I haven't a clue. Sorry.
How did the epilg go? Any remaining questions?
Menu
[Btd] Any questions? I have thousands! What's in the line-up? Who's been really clever? How much swotting are people doing? What do we need to prepare? And what should I wear? :o)
dress code
A few pics of the venue if anyone wants to adopt a personal style in accordance with the interior ambience .. http://www.corushotels.com/hotel.asp?hotelID=54
I'm opting for a burgundy/aubergine crushed velvet gown, black lipstick, untamed long dark hair and wild, swivelly eyes.
Er .. what's all this preparing/swotting for ... do we actually have to do something when we're there?
Bansheen
[Chalky] You are Siouxsie Sioux and I claim my £5.
PENELOPE !!!
STOP HANGING AROUND IN INTERNET CAFES AT ONCE AND GET OUT THERE AND GO CLIMB A VOLCANO OR SOMETHING !! jeeez - the kids these days ?
great minds
[Chalky] Darn! Now I'll have to find something else to wear.
BTW, Is the Rugby venue a non-smoking venue? Mrs B wants to know.
fag
It wasn't smoking last time I saw it boom-boom. Seriously, the restaurant is non-smoking but it is ok to smoke in other places. My vote is that we politly ask smokers to refrain from doing so for the duration of the games.
smokers
bob] can we politely tell you to go stick your head in a bucket ?
;o)
PEN] apologies - I thought you were still in Iceland.
Spleening
[rab] Whoo-doodoo-Hitler seems to be due for retirement. A-V-M-A as well?
Concur
I certainly concur with the first, fun though it was. Not played AVMA for a while, but it may well be a good idea to lay it to rest for a while. It can always be resurrected in the fullness of time if so be required.
culling
Whoodoodoo for sure. AVMA seems to have a fanbase but I'm sure they'll speak out. But surely there are other games that have seen their best? Tell you what - let's end them ALL! [except Banter,and Long Game]
I'm still at work :-(
Alacrity
Why not?! I feel things have stagnated a little here...
Oh
The Furcation Game is unwinnable, but I can change that if need be.
Furcs etc
rab] I see no need... I may be alone on that one though!
Culling could be the way, but not a total one. Let's freshen up and stride onward, blah-blah.
mouldy old dough
It may have been mentioned here or at another of the boards after Dunx posted the "White Rose" archive that games do tend to go on beyond their sellby date, due a collective unwillingness to end games and feel the ire of players still posting. To the extent that generally I have come to only killing off games that I have created on Orange, which reminds me one of them has almost ground to a halt, time to get the sythe out again.
Although I still enjoy guessing in AVMA, it feels at times that there are only the same few of us playing and so making the winning move is a bit like musical chairs. I'll miss it when it goes but then again I also miss my mum's rice pudding with the skin on the top.
Rice pud.
Blimey, Inkspot, that doesn't half bring back memories. Loved rice pudding, whether 'runny' or 'firm'. Haven't had one since I married. I must have a go one day and see how I fare. With my culinary abilities (which run to meat and three veg.) I'll probably burn the bowl! Still, a couple of vinos before starting in order to settle the nerves and bolster the confidence should do wonders. Incidentally, to those of you who proferred information on dumplings some months ago, I never did get around to them. The main obstacle was the suet - not readilly available I'm afraid. My local butcher said he could organise some for me, but it'd take a week or so. The unusual burst of enthusiasm then waned rather rapidly.
Suet
(Duj) Suet is only flour and fat (or oil). You can make it in no time but don't overdo the oil. It's available here anyway, at least it is in Hamsey Green Co-op. Ideally, dumplings should be very slightly burnt.
Really?
I always thought suet was the scrapings from the inside of a haggis! Only kid'neyr. Burned dumplings sound like some of the nouveau riche who idolise Bondi Beach - poor misguided souls. I'm white and I'm proud of it! (To be honest it's the pain that puts me off).
suets you, sir
[Boobar] have mailed you using an address from last year - hope it reaches you
[Rosie & Duj] Sorry 'bout the interruption - suet - yes - the real thing is that solid fatty stuff that accumulates around the kidneys and omentum of the ox, sheep. etc. I believe one can no longer buy it readily because of the restrictions due to BSE, but I may be mistaken.
Suetessimal
[dumpling eaters] nope - it's still available. It's also available as a vegetable suet - it's just a solidified vegetable fat. I don't know about suet fresh from butchers... I guess it does take a couple of weeks if it's not something they produce regularly - you have to wait for the next beast to come through the slaughterhouse, I presume they throw it away otherwise as it's pretty untrendy right now. But both beef suet and vegetable suet are available in packets from UK supermarkets - I made dumplings the other day, in fact, for a beefy stew. Delicious. Look in the bakery aisle, near the flour and Yorkshire pudding mixes... (for those that know not how to mix together three ingredients... pffft!)
Haggis
DEEELLLIIICCCCCCCIIIIIIIIOOOOOOUUUUUUUSSSSSSS. Nothing else to say.
Haggis
Seconded. As indeed are fagots in gravey. Yumma.
Ahem
Faggots in gravy.
[Btd] I thought that was just serious food...
Faggots
"Fagotto" is Italian for bassoon. Can't see how this helps but it's true nevertheless.
I fagot
[Rosie]... coming from the french word for 'bundle of sticks' (fagot). Can't see how this helps either, but I always thought it was interesting.
haggis
I ate a vegetarian haggis before - it was delicious! No idea if it tasted like REAL haggis though..
faggots
does it not all come from the latin "fasces" ?
speaking of food, a colleague of mine went to THE FAT DUCK in Bray for her wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago, and is still reeling.
Anyone fancy a bad tempered game ?
new game
st d] Yes. Get on with it.
the noo
snorgle] I am a big fan of the veggie haggis. The spices are the same as the meaty variety, so the flavour is very similar. What make the (McSween) veggie haggis so good is that it is full of real ingredients (nuts and veg) and none of that soya meat substitute nonsense.
bad tempered
if we do it, can we have RUDE swearing ;o) ?
rudity
[st d] you mean, like .. why don't you get get your effing act together and sodding well get on with it?
[st d] Well, after my Irvine Welsh effort at Orange, too much 'king swearing might stuff up people's content filters. So shove that in your cock and smoke it.
here comes a chopper ...
Apart from AVMA and Who-doodoo, which seem to have reactivated since the threat of closure was mooted, what's the favourite for the chop? I don't play many of the others ..
kill kill kill
well to be honest I think the INTRODUCING games and the LOST CONS games have been VERY SLOW recently. Also the AVMA and WHOODOODOO games seem to be trying to end naturally (one is in swan song mode.) I was tempted to just shut the feckers down but again, dont really play in them much so didnt feel I had the right. Maybe I should just go in and shut one down anyway and you can argue about it with me in the new game. If you think you are hard enough.
Now I am Bad Tempered
Okay Okay great joke ! I killed a game and now HOW DO I START A NEW ONE ?
hardness
[st d] I hate INTRODUCING - kill that one. Go on.
KILLING TIME
shall I kill that as well ? i have BLOODLUST now. I was going to but someone started a new one. It has been pretty weak recently after a strong start (just like HEDGEHUNTER in teh grand national. £20 I had on him. Bastar*)
Gutted
Finally get the chance to start a new ball in late arrivals, and find it killed stone dead less than six hours later!
bad tempered mode
{Uncle K] Tough sh*t :-)
Guts
UK] blame it all on Chalky. Vent your spleen on her in the new game.
Just tried to start a bad tempered game, wrote some wonderful blurb (it was called 'A Game to Rival PMT for Bad Feeling' - poetic, doncha think? and it had a load of stuff rubbishing StD in the intro. When I pressed the button, the sodding site wouldn't let me do it. Pffft.
Stop yer whingeing
rubbishing st d
whyever would yo uwant to rubbish me in the intro to a game is quite quite beyond me. By the way Chalky, you might want to go have a look at the !Yorkives to see GAME 736 which was the first (&last) outing of this game. It got rather carried away and I can only say far exceeded my expectations at the time. It still has me laugh out loud if I read through a lot of it. As for content filters, well......
Wahay!
[st d] Haha - just looked and how ROOD were you all? Extreme blasphemy from someone called Jacob and someone else called GRKWYK or some such fancy-arsed acronymically-challenged tosspot moniker ...
New gameage
[pen] Was that cos st d's game was started in the time it took you fill out the create game form? Did it say something like 'Don't think you can sneak a new game past me?' or similar... I think that's what's supposed to happen, but we've never had that race situation before.

[std] Ya fuckwit, didn't you spot the 'Create a New Game' button on the front page?

Oh
On the other hand, I have have surreptitiously dropped the game limit...
fuckwittedness
[rab] Actually ['though it chokes me to say this] in st d's defence - the New Game Slot didn't appear after he'd killed off GNBN. It only popped up when I murdered the Ball's Game.
Yeah
Yeah, that's what my previous posting was trying to explain. Read? It's that thing you do when you scan you eyes from left to right past some letters. Helps if the eye-brain connection is working of course.

Whoops, wrong game! I moot we restore civility on this particular forum...

civil engineering
What a fine evening it's turning out to be. Here I am, happily ensconced at my desk, playing online games with some awfully nice people. I shall be picked up at around 6.15 and taken to an excellent pub to join some chums. I intend to nibble on a packet of mixed fruit & nuts [haven't had any tea, see] and swig a glass or three of house plonk.
Bollocks.
ah - so the dog's bollocks is stirring ..
suggestion
Does anyone fancy a game of Cress?
I know I won't get any response 'til daylight 'cause this place, like, dies at this time of night, but I just thought I'd ask ...
nighty nite
[Chalky]Cress sounds good, go on its a form that's not played very often.
dreamy fillings
Mmmmmh, egg and cress sandwiches with mayo . . . .
Celebdaq
Woohoo! I'm number 1! (Again). (At last!). Were we supposed to take a screen print for someone? I want to save this for posterity..
Happy _______ day!
Happy St. George's Day.
Happy Nik's Birthday. (at the risk of offending him again)
Happy Dr. Lock's Birthday.
Happy My Birthday next week.
Happy Merlyn's Birthday next week in case I'm too pissed to say it then.
Today or not today, that is the question
Yesterday was NotmrsBobthedogs birthday. Today is Shakespeare’s birthday and tomorrow 1stchildofBobthedog is going to be a flower-girl in the Shakespeare parade.
Today...
...is spacebarofBobtheDog's holiday... :-)
Re: Cress] As good as any... we appear to have run out of suggestions (though not insults).
[DrQ] Does Dr Lock actually exist?
Oh yes, happy returns to all current birthday celebrators
Celebdaq
Congratulations on a fine effort, snorgle.

For Inkspot, whom I think wanted the chart saved; just in case no-one else did I have captured the table as a straight jpg image. It's not small (a bit over 200Kb) but if needed, it's here. I have not attempted to pretty up the page so the table is crammed in between a couple of advertisements.

Or was that last week?
Whatever. I shall clear it off the site in a week or so - or when I remember. :-(
and todays excitement is...
I *almost* got to go in an ambulance with a blue flashy light all the way to Liverpool today!
baddy pirthhay
Can I wish everyone a very happy notyourbirthday (and if it is your birthday, wait 'til tomorrow) as I am so bad at remembering peoples birthdays (including my own) that I am more likely to succeed in remembering to wish everyone a notyourbithday greeting.
[Lib] What, you mean you where clinging to the outside?
more Brazilian nuts
Late congratulations snorgle on being ay No1 . [Dujon]Thank you for the screen shot, yes it was for last week, how good are you at maths? The thing is, knowing the £ worth this week and the % gain, is it possible to calculate backwards to last weeks worth and gain . The table I have posted is from Saturday so the results are slightly wrong. If any passing mathematician is passing could they post a simple equation, I tried to do various transpositions but failed dismally.

...and another thing Dujon who do Bolton Wanderers think they are doing signing the Brazilian Rivaldo!

Mathematics etc.
You leave my lads alone, Inkspot. :-) You should know by now that we buy has-beens and rejuvinate their careers - then they nick off for more money! At the risk of incurring the wrath of everyone else - we're tenth on the table, who'd a'thought it.
I've never followed the percentage calculations on the 'Daq. They certainly don't look right at times. I've noticed that sometimes after kneecapping (when it's easy to do a quick mental calc.) the numbers don't always compute. Then again, it could be the wine. ;-)
'rejuvenate', perhaps.
...or 'prolong' ;-)
The "Start a new game" button
Is it there for a limited time only? I'd been thinking of porposing a game of Boardo, but then one sprung up over at MCiOS. Any suggestions?
new game
I made one a coupla days ago .. Inky agreed ... no-one else said anything
Rugby game
I've been considering using a game as a venue for ISIHAC pilg chat and news. Any takers?
Liverpool and Rugby
[Boolbar] Thankfully not, I had to stay at work as I was deemed to junior by Liverpool hosptial to be a medical escort. So I stayed at Macclesfield hospital and had promotion while my senior was out on the ambulance.
[BtD]Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Bob's idea
*thinks* hmmm .. I would hate to marginalise those who aren't going to be involved. I think most interested parties now go to the Pilg Game in Orange. There are of course, some people who are coming to Rugby who don't post in here, so whether they would start *looking* in here is anyone's guess. Then again, if we do do it it would only be for a month or so. [How about that? consecutive double 'do's' and 'it's'. Grammatically sound?]
not even going, but...
Valid idea, BtD, but splitting discussions and arrangements in two, in my experience, is inevitably a Bad Arrangement. So I would recommend everyone just look in The Pilgrim Game on Orange for Rugbypilg arrangments regularly, and someone involved keep posting the link to it here, or bookmark it yourself if you don't usually visit Orange.
As recommended above
Apologies for the cross posting, but details of the ISIHAC2 party in Rugby have now been posted on the Orange Pilg board. Jon Naismith, eat your heart out.
which level
junior once took his cat to skool and was asked by the teacher; teacher:junior why did u bring your cat to skool? junior:uncle,coz i heard my elders sister's boyfriend telling her that i will eat up ur pussy......hahahaahaahhh.o boy no be lie.
warri wan kill me oooooooooooo
o boy na 4 sizzlers o warri se wan woman carry small dog.after d dog don run entre nain d woman ask d security,have u seen enough?meanwhile she wear small microscopic skirt.nain security se we never see enouggh oo ur small dog?guy d babi bend down well well so tey every con dey show.nain she ask ve u seen enough?nain security answer yes we have seen more than enough........o boy no be lie.
Nice.
what the..?
What the hell is that about?
o boy no be lie
snorgs] e be de babi story bendi down for to look at me dog man yo no unnerstan? yo be crezi momma. o boy no be lie.
jokes
I got the sense of it, but I'm stuck on the word "nain".
nain
PJ] it means DWARF in french. See the poular song:-
Je voudrais etre un nain,
Pour avoir une grosse bîte,
Mais je ne suis qu'un géant,
Et la mienne est petite.
Just realised that attendance at the RugbyPilg will mean missing my mate's annual Eurovision party!
One song to the tune of the same song
UK] And your mates will be missing the Rugbypilg. Unless you invite them :o)
One song to the tune of last year's...
Btd] After swift negotiations, managed to book myself in 'round my mate's for Saturday 22nd, where we can watch the qualifiers and the contest itself (which he'll be taping), and pretend it's all happening live.

I really am a sad case...
Bollocks!
DIdn't realise the RugbyPilg clashed with Eurovision... What shall we do?
Euro-Trellis
We could perhaps have a Eurovision Break? The results of the voting are always really late - perhaps the scheduled entertainment will have finished by then, so those that need to will be clear to watch it. And I reckon we should have a sweepstake organised for the Eurovision result too... so there'll be a cash prize!!
You have to ask?
I'm sure you'll get over it, rab!
eurovision
oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear
rugbyvision
I'll make sure there's a TV in The Study, eh?
Bad news
I'm afraid that e-pilg transcriber was in a horrible browser crash last night. He sadly has no recollection of the goings-on last night.
transcrash
what a relief :-)
Buttered muffin
Loobyloo] Darn shame I'd say ;o)
Dr Q] Nice to see you back, we missed you. Would you like to contribute long-distance to the Pilg? I'd like to have a "and this one was sent in by... "section for Mcers who can not attend. Cast your beady eye over the Orange pilg game and email me with contributions.
moomintroll
I read a rather funny news story about a man dressed as a moomin being run over by a truck in Norway and I was going to post it, but I can't find it anywhere!
ignorant rude w****rs
The tetchy game seems to be going quite well, I thought.
can anyone say "oven"?
Ok, ok, the "cool" weather (22 to 32°C or thereabouts) is officially OVER, here. Just in the last three days, it's all changed. Yesterday was a stinker of a humid day. Today, it was measured at 44°C (but very very dry) at 4pm.
I wanna icecream.
On the non-avoidance of ice-creams...
flerdle] I had two today, feeling rather gluttonous!
Weather
Did anyone else catch the incredible rainstorm in London yesterday? I did - indeed, I was caught by it. I don't think I've ever been out in such heavy rain - I didn't even know it was possible. Thoroughly enjoyable stuff all round.
Whoee!
When you've had enough, post the left overs to me would you, please? What was it like? It must have been some drop to elicit comment.
Saying 'bye-bye' for a few days ... speak soon
:'(
It never rains
[BM, Dujon] I was sheltering under the portico of St Martin in the Fields at the time and it was of tropical intensity – streets and pavements were a continuous flow of water. The worst bit lasted about 15 minutes, but my guess would be that it amounted to 1-2cms in that time. I was the slightly embarrassed-looking person in the business suit carrying his wife’s yellow umbrella with the duck’s head handle!
BTW I went to SMITF to see 'ZUM' a band that plays an eclectic mixture of E. European gypsy music, jazz and Argentinian tango. Very enjoyable.
more rain
The rain continues to rain here in the north of Wiltshire, I only hope it is dry in Youlbury, Oxfordshire as Little O' is going camping with the Cubs over the weekend.
ahhhhh the sound of rain
I live in Manchester and even when its dry its raining, now figure that one out!!!
huh?
[widey] fancy that, where I am it's the exact opposite, at least so far. Two "showers", not enough to actually wet the ground.
[INJ] Ah, those tropical downpours - several every summer in Bris. Be thankful there was no hail? *pines*
Manx Cats
[widey] I didn't realise we had another Nor'westerner in our midst! I agree with you about the moistness, though.
Mancunian rainfall
Manchester isn't all that wet. The average rainfall at Manchester Airport (1971-2000) is 807 mm per year. That's less than I get here in the sunny south (Surrey), with 828 mm. (1983-2003). Cardiff gets 1112 mm and Swansea over 1200 mm, the wettest large city in Britain. The driest would seem to be Cambridge, average 554 mm. Cherrapunji (Assam) has about 11,000 mm, the total for July alone being about 1800 mm. 60 mm a day - every day. Over most of lowland Britain (i.e. where we all live) you get that amount about once every 25 years.
panda leaves
There have been one or two comments about my punctuation, but I know what I mean and it ends up legible (more or less). Today I have picked up a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves from the library, hopefully some of the pedants round here will see some slight improvement in the next three weeks.
As a designer and Planning Supervisor, I wade through documents from the HSE on the Building Industry, anyway today I've been reading mostly Peer review of analysis of specialist group reports on causes of construction accidents Research Report 218.
I should not make light of other peoples misfortunes but on page 98 the Description of the Incident:-
A building was being refurbished and in the course of this staircase balustrade and handrails had been removed and plastic warning tape placed around the stair well. Upholsters were working on the upper floor in the neighbourhood of the stairs and one fell down the stair. well.

Rather than falling badly?
[Rosie] Ah yes, but in Manchester it does it all the time - a constant drizzle, rather than a few huge downpours. And even when it's not raining, it feels like it's raining. The rare clear, sunny day sees industry and traffic (well, moreso than usual, for the latter) grind to a halt, with crowds of people stumbling around, faces uplifted, blinking in slightly worried confusion at the big yellow ball in the sky. Hence, it's grim oop norf.
Persistent Mancunian precipitation
(Nik) A good point. Figures for rainfall duration are remarkably hard to come by but I strongly suspect Manchester has more hours of rain per year than my back garden, despite the lower rainfall total. Sunshine figures give some clue - Manchester has 1395 hrs annually (same as Sheffield, incidentally) compared to typically 1500-1600 hrs for inland southern England and the Midlands. Eastbourne gets 1848 hrs, making the retired gentlefolk even more prune-like than ever. Places like Oldham and Burnley are a lot wetter than M/C, and have even less sun. Manchester is not uniquely awful, weatherwise, not by a long chalk.
Raining in my heart
And to continue with that thought...
[flerdle] There was some hail in the rainstorm, amazingly. I know because it was hitting me. The whole thing was like running through a lake with a few bubbles in it.
Please send it over
My location has had this rain since the start of 2004:
January - 61.5mm
February - 108mm - 80mm of which arrived on one day.
March - 44.25mm
April - 31mm

My wife's lovely garden may be about to get the chop. There seems to be no doubt that existing water restrictions (use thereof) are about to be tightened. Urk!

Oz rain
(Dujon) That's 245 mm, against my 281 mm. Seems quite a lot to me, though your higher temperatures make it less "useful" hydrologically. But laying water out to dry is a bit of an indulgence in Australia, isn't it?
I'm writing this from my lovely back yard, powered by my clever new phone. [dr q] I got to keep one of the buggies featured on my house website, yay! If only i was small enough to fit in it!
wot rain?
[BM] It's not really hail till it's the size of giant golfballs ;-)
[Dujon] Urk, indeed. What has she been growing? I think lawn can be a bit of an extravagance, but a lot of other things can be made pretty water-sparing, but that depends on what they are. My own experiments in gardening had to be stopped a couple of years ago when I could no longer get the lucerne hay I needed, because of drought (no-dig style, lucerne hay topped with spent mushroom compost. Amazingly productive). I only ever grew veges, though.

I think I mentioned before, average rainfall here is around 100mm annually. This is a slightly old (1995) but still informative report on agricultural resources. Ironically, the largest crop here, other than dates? Alfalfa (lucerne).

Four inches
[flerdle] That's a bit on the dry side! Where does water come from (and don't say the sky) - dams, next door's river? [Rosie] It does sound odd does it not. That's supposed to be our wet season though. Winter - at least where my castle is situated - tends to be the dryest time of year. We shall see. Sydney's main dam (Warragamba, about five miles from me as the crow flies) is said to be down just under the 50% capacity level which does not auger well.
I'm not going to drill for water; let's try augur.
well, actually... let's go UndergrounD
[Dujon] Next door is at least as bad, if not worse - they have to resort to desalination of sea water. Along the Batinah coastal plain there are aquifers. The water itself is very high in calcium/lime but very safe, however because of the taste and the effect on kettles etc most drinking water is bottled springwater. There is a large mountain range about 30km inland, parallel to the coast, which gets the same to three times the rain that the plain does. There is continuous replenishment of the aquifers by seepage from the mountains, and from the flash floods that race down the wadis (dry gullies) when it does manage to rain. The rain, when it happens, is in the winter. The other main source of water close to the mountains are the Aflaj (sing: falaj), which are ancient and very reliable.
MCiOS problems
Anyone else having trouble accessing MCiOS? Another website I use was down yesterday, apparently due to Mayday hacker attacks on their server. I wonder if the same thing has happened to Parslow?
[snorgle] I can't see it either.
hyperlink
Well, as it's down, I'll put this link here, because otherwise I'll forget. Just a cute ferret story, although I recently saw a cat living in a garden centre, I just assumed it belonged to the shop, maybe it was a stray.
Nip!
Has Dr Q been visiting Mrs Trellis? [flerdle] Thanks for the info.
*snore*
Was in mediocre-smelling but still decent-looking New Wilmington, Pennsylvania this weekend eating Schweinflesch and getting heavily pissed. Kinda obvious considering the event is called "Hog & Grog". ;)
New Wilmington, PA
(Dr Q) Where's that, then? Couldn't find it on my atlas. Hope you enjoyed your Pork and Paralysis. :-)
more spears
Latest news in from the daq; in Celebrity MC moreteaplease has taken back the top from snorgle, but what is this!!!! blamelewis at No2?! a stunning performance after being kneeecaped just pipping ffiish.
Oink
It's hailing cows and chickens out there...
Hail, Mary
[rab] Sure is here too in Brum. Where's you?
Weee
[HB] Moist Manchester. Chorlton-on-Medlock, to be more precise.
Likewise here in Manchester's *other* Chorlton, Chorlton-cum-Hardy...
Silly names
No hail in Woodstock today. Sunny and bright here in Clopton.
New Wilmington, PA
[Rosie] It's a tiny town between Sharon & New Castle, right on the Lawrence/Mercer county border. You may be able to find it by the artificial lake in the shape of Alabama.

And yes I did. ;)

Slightly drizzly here in the Oakland section of Pittsburgh.
I'm back in Woodstock and it is p***ing down.
now you see them...
A torrential rain and hail storm half an hour ago washed away the newly-painted car park markings. Oh, how we laughed...
Penelope's storm seems to be on its way here. The last piece of blue sky is fleeing in a north-easterly direction while black clouds arrive with faint thunder.
Places in PA and other things
(Dr Q) Found Sharon and New Castle, but no New Wilmington, or Alabammy-like lake. Must be nearly in Ohio, it looks to me. (Bob the dog) Silly names? Near me is Fickleshole, consisting of a road junction, a pub and two farms. (All) Measured nearly an inch of rain Weds morning (25.1 mm) and quite a bit more today with a bit of feeble thunder. Good reason not to cut the grass or continue with my outdoor painting job. (Warlingham, NE Surrey).
[Rosie] Golly, I am glad I;m not in Surrey!

Well, bit of a given that one, really...

Weather
It's pissing down here in Turin and has been for over a week. Apartment block-residents (self included) who do not have autonomous heating (i.e. whether the heating is on or off depends on the calendar not on whether you need heating - April 15, all central heating off!) have been freezing their nipples off for the last fortnight, as it is colder than a witch's tit.
Rain
(Dunx) What I measured was the rainfall for the past 24 hrs, which I do every morning. So, not as bad as it sounds. :-)
sigh
Come to sunny Manchester where the sun shines even when its raining, which it does 365 days a year.................(rain I mean)
sigh
I know there are places that have more rain fall than here, but we do have a naturally damp climate, hence the boom of the cotton industry back in the 19-20 Centuries. Damp air is great for spinning cotton as the fibers are less prone to break and are easier to work. The same applies to wool. Are you all asleep now?
cotton and wool
Not quite. The Lancashire cotton industry had more to do with availability of labour and the proximity of a large port (Liverpool) than any climatic factors. Besides, the woollen industry was concentrated in Yorkshire, where the air is marginally drier, but frankly it makes bugger all difference anyway. Anywhere in Britain would be quite satisfactory.
Spinning around.
I used to walk past a cotton mill on the odd occasion on which I walked between the homes of a couple of my relations. One thing that struck me at the time - and I've never solved the conundrum - was that the building was large and had a huge number of windows, albeit those little six inch panes set into a larger frame. Presumably this was to allow natural light to access the interior; but the windows were never cleaned - or at least did not appear to be so. Still, I'm talking of a town called Leigh which also had two or three active coal mines and hundreds of coal burning fireplaces so maybe it was just 'natural' deposits. The air that came out of those windows - many were hopper type, hinged at the bottom - was hot. I sympathise with anyone who had to work in that environment.
why
coz
Raak
Isn't that more of an aak or an uhk?
Raak
OK, you win. My mouth explodes with delight.
Terrible implosions of unconnectedness!
[Raak] Shades of night is a friend of RavenBlack (the Advice contributor). Not massively interesting, no, but this sort of thing always jars my brain, especially on a slightly tender saturday morning.
Rrraak!
[Raak] It sounds like the "baby" in Eraserhead.
more soap
Meanwhile....over at Celebrity Mornington Crescent ; blamelewis climbs to the top, many congratulations (what or where is The Fly Floor).
sounds; one resource I plunder everynow and then for a new mail notification noise etc is http://www.findsounds.com/ click on "Need Examples?".
Actually Rosie your wrong!!!! oo errrrr did I say that!!! It does make a difference to spinning cotton if the air is dry and not moist. I admit the close proximity of an atlantic (via the irish sea) port (Liverpool) holds some merit but its not the main reason, if it were, Bristol would have been a good choice!! As for the "labour pool" most were agricultural workers who came into the developing areas to look for work in the "new factories". The populace of Manchester pre 1750 was much the same as the rest of the country.........
Lanky cotton
(Widey) Like anyone else I can talk bollocks from time to time, and do so, but I don't think I'm that far out about the climatic factors, though you've certainly got a point about the availability of labour. You're certainly right, of course, that high humidity is helpful, but what it boils down to in actual numbers is the difference in average relative humidity between Lancashire and the rest of the country and in all honesty I don't think it is really all that much. I don't want to sound too much of a pompous old fart but I am a trained meteorologist, albeit er . . . some time ago. (1966, actually). :-)
another question?
Cool........pun not intended.......I'm only going off what has been published in my local history books so I guess there is a lot of room for error on my part, I find it fascinating though the link between climate and manufacturing. I guess the other major factor is the multitude of fast flowing streams and rivers in the local, great for the early waterpowerd mills and shops...... I would be interested to know your thoughts on the present weather situation, is it my imagination or are we having more rainfall in the uk? Also it seems to be a lot warmer earlier in the year than it ever was in the past!......
boo hoo sob
I miss missiv trellis can't we av it back, g'uvnor?
missing missive
[widey] Some of the games are very slow and would probably welcome a euthanastic shove [not The Furc Game - that's sacrosanct] If no-one objects over the next day or so ... go for it
The weather
(Widey) The average UK rainfall has gone up, but not a lot, in the last 40 yrs. For instance, my own records, made with a standard raingauge, show an average of about 830 mm annually over the last 21 years, whereas from old data and charts I would estimate a figure of 790 mm for 1931-1960 for my place (NE Surrey). The rain has become more seasonal with autumn and winter wetter and summer drier. July is now the driest month of the year over a large area of the UK whereas 50 yrs ago it was about 4th or 5th wettest, certainly in the eastern half of the country and the Midlands. Summers are better! Winters are definitely milder than the 60's and 70's. This is only slightly due to global warming but mainly because we get a lot less easterly and northerly winds than in the past. The change in the circulation may in itself be due to global warming, but this kind of shift has happened in the past so it may equally well not be. I could write pages on this but I'd better not. :-)
Droughts and Floods
[widey] There is a number of factors which directly affect our planet and its atmospheric behaviour, quite apart from our own efforts to do the same. This is an interesting article if you are that way inclined.
[widey] Yes, I'd like to see Missive Trellis back too. I missed a lot of it last time because of my access troubles.
Kill them All!
Go on, go on, go on!
Sacrosancy
*wonders if we should perform the Furcation Game on Saturday*
*very quickly realises that's a rubbish idea*
Furcating
*has thought of an interesting variation*
Dentistry
(Softers) Couldn't think of a limerick line so here's the toothypeg news. There was a hole the size of the Arizona Crater in it, with the nerve almost bare. No wonder it bloody hurt. The dentist declared it a write-off and pulled it. All is now well. :-)
Tuesday 25/05/04, Radio 4, 11.30am
Just been advised of the following by my mate at the Beeb:
No Fixed Abode, Cricklewood
Phill Jupitus talks to Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie about their early days as comedy writers and performers, and about their 1970s cult series The Goodies (1/2).
Here's a game we could play on Saturday - the Bad HTML game.
rab?
Chalky?
Just thought I'd break the silence :-)
Ah.
[Chalky] You know you're going to have to pay for that silence, don't you?
We could talk about the weather...
Same old... dull and overcast, cool, but dry.
[pen] Perfect running weather, then.
The weather
What will tomorrow bring?
rainbow skies
Tomorrow could bring the end of AVMA, and with it a new game. Any takers for "Spot Ruttborough's Ostrich"?
Yay!
Now where could that ostrich BE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E?
Frisky fish!!!
Today my Koi have been in a most frisky mood and have engaged in a mass spawning, must be the slight rise in the water temperature. I look forward to seeing their many offspring (and making a couple of quid when they mature!).
Entrepreneurs
[widey] That made me laugh! As a sprog I used to breed white mice and flog 'em. I never asked where they were going as some people feed them to their pet snakes. Nevertheless, the temperature didn't seem to make a difference at all to the production rate. ... :-)
So you were the white mouse supplier!
My Royal(Ball)Python, Oscar, used to love white mice. I used to feel a bit guilty feeding them to him, but then what the f**k they would eat us if they could!!!
What's in a name?
'Oscar' as a name for a snake?  Sounds a bit fishy to me.
FIRE!
Just ordered out of bed by an incessant beeping and the vague smell of burnt popcorn and told by the fireman standing outside our neighbouring flat to get out of the flat, whence we stood around on the lawn. Interesting start to the day, especially for the poor sods from that flat who have exams this morning and have to look forward to coming home to a water-logged, sooty kitchen, smoke-damaged flat and melted toaster.
yikes
[ZK] Lovely way to start the day.
[weather] It has slowly crept up to usually about 25-35°C here; some degree of aircon is a must now. No rain, of course. I think I'm becoming nocturnal.
ZK] Escape the smoke and examination pressure this weekend. Come to Brownsover Hall for the ISIHAC2 Pilg. You'd be most welcome! I'm sure Lib, Pen and Chalky would love to meet you too.
Indeed
excited
Blimey, that's the day after tomorrow. I now have 1 Jurassic "Radio Tymes". Most get more. Panic? Me?
excuse any incoherence; I'm only lately being introduced to Carling....
ah, sadly this weekend is much-needed time with my family; re-bonding over eurovision, Wogan-esque sarcasm and the traditional Spag Bol (ah, real food at last!!!!!). Have missed EV for inexcusable reasons these last two years, so shall be rather looking forward to catching up on the previously annual cheesefest. Otherwise, naturally, I would love to join you all. Have a good time on me. *tip of the day* beer is much nicer when accompanied by Polo mints.
Meantime, of course, the poor girls whose flat got burnt out have to live elsewhere for the remainder of the examination period, which I didn't realise.
Eurovision has nothing on what we have planned (and anyway TV can be recorded). Not so sure we can match the Spag Bol tho.. ;o)
I had the dubious pleasure of watching a semi-final of the EVC last evening. If you enjoy a few mid-teen check out chicks trying to make a quid and a heap of blokes singing falsetto (or have an injury; or aren't blokes?) this is for you.
Mind you, I wouldn't miss it for quids - it's got to be the funniest show on television each year.
Rugby Pilg
You're probably all on your way if not there already - but have fun! And make sure you get too drunk. That's important.
Seconding snorgle's sentiments
Yeh...
Hey, I loved it! The Netherlands should have won, in my opinion, but I won't complain about Ukraine...
Schwoing
[snorgle, Tuj] I certainly had quite a hangover this morning, though I understand others were more restrained. I think I good time was had by all, though I shouldn't necessarily speak on their behalf. Much kudos and fanx attack to Bob the dog (note small d).
thanx R Us
. . . . and Chalky!
Whoops, of course, and to everyone else who made the thing such a success.
Carrot
umm, Carrot?
Carrot (was it just one, or were they plural?)
And if I'm not mistaken there was a bottom too! Thank you everyone for such an excellent super-pilg. Same time next year?....
Vote 1 - Yes.
Vote 2 - YES [and I hereby volunteer to do the hotely thing]
and Bob - the Biscuit Game print is a work of art and is being framed to take pride of place alongside 'The Great Bear'. We didn't do it justice. Can we play it online pleeeez?
Vote 3 (from the Rickmansworth jury) YES.
More prepared alternative lyrics next time please. Merlyn's Bohemian Rhapsody has me in hurty squeaking stitches, as you all probably noticed (and no, I didn't have a Tenalady moment). I vaguely remember discussing American Pie with some sort of MC alternative lyric but I'm sure I wasn't volunteering. Perhaps it should be stored in the Sonnets game on Orange to see what incubates.
Vote 4 - YES. What a fantastic event, and a great location too. And what a wonderful bunch of people, who all got on tremendously well. At this stage in the proceedings, I'd also like to say carrot.
Vote 5 - YES. And is there any chance it could include a live game of "The Great Bear"?
Put me down as a YES as well. Nice venue, great company and I hardly felt any embarassment at my lack of preparation (although I will have to learn how to play a kazoo).
Oops that's embarrassment of course.
Old-fashioned MC, just like mother used to make
Chalky] The gauntlet's down - see the Lockisseum's Proving Ground.
carrot
[INJ] I think you were actually right the first time.
Great Bear
JLE] If so, I can bring my wall print of said map with me for team reference purposes.
grapefruit
[IncleKorks] Wahay - I'm there :-)
Wobbly
Just to let you know I'll be off piste for the next couple of days, as I'm travelling up to Edinburgh tomorrow for an interview. Feeling a little wobbly already... I also shan't be in the chatroom tonight for various logistical reasons.
"So, why do you want this job...?"
Good luck, rab!
Oooohhh.....
I see that there are suddenly two spare game spaces... Now, having worked out the etiquette of these things, I'm announcing my ideas for the replacements. I had a chat with Bob the dog after ISIHAC2, and we both like the idea of:
1] Playing Last Lines - inappropriate sentences that sound the death knell for a television programme (for example: The Money Programme - Has anyone got 50p for the meter? or Upstairs Downstairs - Rose! We're moving into a bungalow!").
2] Writing sales pitches for hard to sell items. The item must be described, and then the sale pitched in Estateagentese.
Well, folks - the ball's in your court. Anyone interested?
New Game
Lemon Puff
So was this uber-pilg recorded as you said it would be? Or do we have to make do with transcripts?
Recording medium
ZK] Half was recorded on to mini-disc (the second half)+ the end of games cabaret (which really was wonderful). We lost the first half due to a technical hitch :o( But I am preparing transcripts :o)
empty rooms...
9.50pm BST - is anyone going in the chatroom tonight?
Changing rooms
Sorry pen. I've been playing Lawerence Llewyellen-Bowen. 60 percent of wallpaper removed from bedroom. And thankfully all the plaster is where it should be! Fun.
[ZK] Unfortunately, the singing games and sound charades were in the first half! Still, that's all the more reason to attend next year's one!
chatroomier
[Lib] Never mind - I think we're probably all pilged out anyway. Stripping walllpaper? Wheeee! [Btd] Sorry I missed you.
Back from Richmond, VA
I'm back just in time to miss the e-pilg. Feh. Photos are here.
Rugby Photos
Darren has been kind - there are photos. Marvel at the thespery!
Or here?
Common-ents
[flerdle, PaulWay] They nicked our little badges!
Plate 40: I'm a wee bit concerned about that UFO about to alight upon LotUS' right shoulder.
Top hole, Dunx, thanks for posting them.
Did try epilg last night but it was quiet. Assume everyone sleeping off the weekends excesses.
picture this
Great pictures of everyone enjoying themselves....jealous? me? pah!
snap snap snap
Darren] Great pics - you can really see the detail on hiz nob. Dunx] Cheers for posting 'em!
Got home last night, and, as it was so hot, I decided I'd use the opportunity to run the Flymo over the lawn. I tell you - there's nothing like the smell of pureed cat poo pervading the warm air to keep you on task.
catmo
[UK] Ahh, the flymo/catpoo incident rears its ugly head. I've commented on this before, and recently remonstrated with a neighbour who doesn't believe his cat would poo anywhere but the litter tray provided. I tell you, you'd be amazed at the amount of shit one cat can produce. Starving them would seem to be the most obvious course of action.
Aaahhhhh..... NOT Bisto...
Pen] Sadly, they're my cats. As far as I'm aware, cats don't tend to toilet on their own territory, but ours never developed that quirk. At our previous house, our next door neighbour had fourteen cats, all of which used our garden, and I suppose they just worked out that the nearest patch of grass smelled right for business.
pushycats
Well, my cats nearly ALWAYS use my garden - although to be fair, one is so old she can't jump up on the wall anymore, and the other is so fat, he has some difficulty jumping up on the wall, and is quite funny to watch when he tries. So I'm always having to clear the garden, as we have a dog, too. We used to have a dogloo but it couldn't take the pressure, so now I just chuck it out with the rubbish. Lovely topic of conversation here today! :)
*dithering*
Do I take it that because there's been no comment on my games proposals (above), other than Chalks (who, I believe, would like a go at The Biscuit Game), there'd be no objection to my starting one or both...?
[UK] Go ferret, I'd say. I would suggest one tweak to the sales pitches one, which is that it might work a bit better if each person proposes the item which the person coming after them has to sell ... (a la things like Jeopardy). Then again, I suppose your structure would work more like The Book Blender on Orange, with people contributing when they thought of a cool idea. Don't know which would be better suited, tbh.
Love the pics...
[rab] a bit late, but... good luck.
[Dujon] Ooooh, they did too, the naughty beggars.
[pen, Btd] Phone line is dead, couldn't be there.
Hmmm this is interesting
Are there people living in here?
uninhabited
[Paulgeaf] We visit here from time to time - usually several times a day in my case. Have you found the other Mornington Crescent sites? They're similarly un-inhabited but there's a chat room on MCiOS, and we often camp in there on a Monday evening (BST or GMT). Have fun!
I've taken the plunge
Corporation dustcart is up and running. Winning move is a programme that I would definitely notlike to see scrapped (should be enough of a clue for anyone who knows me). If that isn't enough of a clue, it's one that Michael Grade has had a go at before.
Brendan] I'm giving some more thought to the sales pitch game, and I hope to post it in the next day or so, as long as the slot's still vacant.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
There was Flanders & Swann and I missed it!
On The Slow Train...
ZK] And it was very good indeed! I have the whole F&S session recorded on my camcorder, but I have no idea how to transfer it to anything else...
[Dujon] Thanks for posting the corrected link. Safari's addition of line break characters can be pretty annoying.
life on mc server
[penelope] tanks for that. I must look around and work this place out.. I thought i was too old to find a 'new' area of communication online cheers :)
Uncle Korky's F&S Footage
[Uncle Korky] I can probably help you there - I've mailed you about it.
[Dunx] My pleasure.
[Darren] Thanks for providing the pics. I thought I'd put that in on my previous post!
exams
Woooo! One down, three to go. Then, only two more academic years before I can join the rat race and become even more bitter, twisted and cynical than I am now :)
testing times
Good luck ZK in the exams, is your time now your own? way back when, after our exams, we still had course work to do. The peer group crits took place on the last two days of term; older, bitter, twisted and cynical.
sees the light
[ZK, Inks] So that's why I'm not bitter, twisted and cynical! There's a lot to be said [which I may do, another time] for 'dropping out' of Uni, which I did for various raisins.
currantly speaking
Chalky] I hope you didn't eat them all at once;)
ZK] So come on then, which uni and what subject? (Good luck with the rest -- how well-spaced are they?)
peering
[Inkspot] What's a peer group crit? I'm imagining a ritual out of Maoist China in which each student in turn has to stand up in front of the rest and have their ideological errors stridently condemned, before making abject confession of their sins.
oh no! 'fessing time!
Classics at Birmingham. I applied to Cambridge but the bastards wouldn't have me! Shame really - I would've quite liked to be punting this time of year, but then some of my friends got into Oxford, so I'd have been forced to hate them :) I applied for Pembroke College as well, which would have been v cool cos 2 of the Goodies went there, as well as Peter Cook, I believe. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that as motivation in one of my interviews, or I might've got in :)
Back to exams, I still have Latin language to go, which is on Saturday morning, Greek language, which is next Tuesday, and my lecture exam, the following Wednesday (cram cram cram!). Luckily with the one I just took (Latin books) and Greek, we had take-home exercises which made up 40% of the grade and I did quite well. You only need 40% for the overall programme to pass for the second year, I think, which is ludicrous. [Inkspot] I hope my time is now my own, as I want to go home! :) I suspect it's all over from here, as my lease runs out on the 25th of June, and the property's managed by the university. My friend from school (same uni) seems to have finished for now, as her MSN name has read "sunbathing till September" for about the last week and a half. Jammy swine. :)

Now why couldn't I have written that much in my exam?
Question
Hello lovely people. I don't want to ask this question in MCIOS playground as the big boys are fighting. Anyway, may I just ask what people's understanding of the term "seafood" is? I've had a bit of a disagreement over it today in the jolly old office, and I'd value your opinions. Your normal service is now resumed.....
to me, anyway...
Anyfing dat comes out of da sea. Fish. Shellfish. yukky things like eels. Was it in the context of someone being allergic to it? Then it's often just shellfish.
Well, it depends what the meaning of "understanding the term" is ...
[Thos] Anything from the animal kingdom that came out of the sea. Fish, shellfish, squids, whatever ... I am far too ignorant to know what fishies live where, so in practice my definition includes freshwater beasties too. Not plant things like seaweed or little planktony things, though, even if they do come from the briny depths. The Blob-style mental image that arises for me is that of a large prawn, FWIW.
[ZK] Don't worry, you're not the only Cambridge reject in the world. ;) You'll find that 40% thing is pretty universal throughout this nation's fine universities, and indeed 40% over the whole degree will bag you an honours degree at most places ("only" a Third, but still ...)
fishyness
Hello dear Thos. We have a 'seafood' restaurant here and they serve anything that's considered aquatic, including molluscs and crustaceans. Did you know there's an edible sea urchin?
Simulposted with Brendan -but what the hell - I'll press 'submit' anyway .....
pin up time
Raak] You don't know how close that guess is. As part of the Architecture course we were given design projects which could take anything from a week to a whole term. The end of the process was 'the crit', in front of tutors and a group of students, it was inquisitorial and confrontational, others sailed through the process; me, absolutely terrified and nervous dreaded every single one. A tough crit of hard questioning gave no indication of how well, or how you had done everyone was grilled to the 9th degree.
It sounds bad, but the end result (which almost justified the means) was that you made sure the design process was robust. So, if ever you meet a building designer who seems a little (over)protective of their work....

Thos]Seafood; anything from the salt water sea? but Trout and Salmon could be served in a seafood retaurant, they may be considered fresh water river fish and therefore strictly not 'seafood'.

Unshellfishness
I've heard the term "seafood" used to refer only to shellfish and the like, and not to fishfish. I have also heard it used pretty broadly to include all fish, including those which have never been near an ocean. I think you can find precedent for whatever you want to argue
Salmon
[Inkspot] Surely the freshwaterness of salmon depends on where it has been caught? It is a fish that lives in both sea and reiver at different times in its life.

Then again, do they fish for salmon in the sea?

[CdM] This has a disturbing parallel in the number of piscivores and chicken eaters that call themselves vegetarian...

I sea food, I eat it...
Seafood, for me, is crustacean. Other stuff what comes out of the sea is 'fish'. Being descended from a fishing family (my great-grandfather and his sons were fish merchants in Aberdeen; it's probably where I get my habit of getting up too early from), I'd like to think this was some kind of official position, but it's just my usage. To me there's a clear distinction between 'seafood pie' and 'fish pie'; if the former included cod or whitebait or some such, I'd be most upset.
You shall have a fishy . . .
[Dunx] As a piscivore myself, I often describe myself as vegetarian to avoid confusion - if a restaurant/hotel can cope with veggies, then they can cope with me. Plus telling people that you are a piscivore means they lock up their alcohol.
Greetings
Hello. Nice to see about five new games have started across the servers since I went away - was that deliberate? Now I need to work on my space-time-continuum distortion device in order to find enough time to be able to play them!
Welcome back rab. I trust all went well :-) Re. your STCD device - you may need to factor in a couple of hours to catch up on the lively discussion in MCiOS - an eye opener if ever there was!

[all] Perhaps we shall find out which stance Thos adopted in the jolly old office disagreement. I was born in February - does that make me a Piscivore?

oops
I think that when I mentioned shellfish I meant things like prawns and lobsters and stuff too. My excuse is I grew up far from the sea, so I have never really gotten into fish and other watery edibles, cos they were always either muddy and disgusting from the local creek, or several days old and liable to be a bit dodgy...
Wells
[Chalky] I haven't heard the outcome yet (they're a postal organisation, and that combined with University mail systems means I have a bit of a wait on my hands, grrr) but I did enjoy myself in the interview room, even if I totally fluffed my way very badly through what might have been the killer question of "Is it new and is it useful?". Hate waiting.
Oh, and my odds are just under 30%, I understand.
All the best rab - hope they hurry up. And say yes.
[Seafood] Thanks for your answers and your discussion which almost entirely reflected the debate in my office. I personally hold seafood to be shellfish but it seems that whilst many others agree, a sizeable group also includes fish (both sea fish and fresh water fish interestingly). [Rab] Good luck
Carted
I appear to have accidentally stumbled on the winning move for Corporation Dustcart. Can it be reinstated?
Get Carted
Honestly... There I go, my first game as well, and I take the trouble to advise of the winning move further up this page too... Tut tut tut... I don't know... *mutter mutter*
endings
Raak]Is there anyway you could stumlbe across the finishing touch to Bad Tempered, Critical & Tetchy Game? or rab, could you advise what the winning move is please.
I'll reinstate the Dustcart shortly; meanwhile surely you can work out what the winning bloody move in BTC&TG is!
*phew*
Well done, rab!
And thank you rab for the clue, hehehe. What will we do with our new game slot? Missive Trellis?
Daq
I wonder if the BBC's data base has gone awry. I'm listed as sixth in the world. This cannot be correct.
I'd be proud. who do you own?
Mini cheddars
Congratulations to Darren on making me laugh at this hour - the game is usually sublime, but that move was rather fabulous :)
Puffing chest
[ZK] Calum Best. I had to go and have a look! I've no idea as to who he is and have been 'sitting' on him due to the day trading being reasonable. Mind you, not being celebrity minded and being totally ignorant of most people listed within the various categories, this is not surprising. *scratches head and disappears into the sunset*
Woo!
I got mentioned on Radio 2 embarrassing Sybil Ruscoe. Genius!
What's he been up to?
Belated comment
[Dr Q+] Thanks for the pics. Great stuff! Mind you - and I've probably said it before - the thrill of whizzing around continual left or right hand bends holds very little interest for me. Bloody frightening when one watches some of the drivers, quite apart from some of them greeting a wall with a hearty handshake :-(
That was not meant to be funny - far too many steerers have finished their careers in that manner.
more of the best
Dujon] Sixth is a great achievement (I'm envious), I think it was penelope, getting herself into a similar position in the players chart that prompted the whole Celebrity Mornington Crescent thing.

Unfortunately the daq will be skewed for the next month; Big Brother takes to the air waves yet again from next Friday (28th).

big sis
[Dujon] Yup, it was me. I got to No. 4 in the world, although I have no idea how. And now? How things have changed... I got an email from the Celebdaq people yesterday warning me that my account has been inactive for 30 days and I have only another 30 in which to re-activate it otherwise it will be lost and gone forever. :o( and yet... I still can't be bothered!
Slimming down
I feel the front page is looking very slender just now. As God intended, of course.
rab] Where I come from, we call that tempting fate ;)
...as long as the next game's nowt to do with Big Brothel...
Big Brothel
[Tuj] Perhaps a game of breathing new life into tired old TV shows or film franchises?
hellooo
I've decided to start posting on forums other than lock and orange again, so a big hi. and ZK, I'm in the throes of exams at the moment also so good luck and remember pro plus and the answer is generally option C...
[nights] How I wish I still had multiple choice questions! :) I have a bit of a thing against Pro Plus but I'll certainly remember that as an emergency option! What exams are you throeing? :)
Multiple choice exams are ok, except for the ones we had for mid-term Physiology. There, anywhere between one and all five of the options could be correct. If you missed any, or added extras, you were deemed incorrect. They were written in the most excruciatingly sneaky manner as well. It is possible that wrong answers were marked negatively ie right +1, no answer +0, wrong -1. I wouldn't have put it past him to do so.
exam excitement
well, 4500 words of essays (by after the bank holiday), two hours of french, two hours of russian, two hours of european studies, and about 20 minutes of russian oral... uuurgh. I seem to remember from combined sciences gcse that most of the multiple choice answers are C... wish I had that option now. what about yourself?
Have so far sat through two Latin exams (one 2 hours, one 3 hours) and have yet to sit my Greek exam (three hours, taking it well into "No Fixed Abode, Cricklewood") and my exam for Introduction to Greece and Rome, a further three hours. I handed in my Greek and Latin assessments in January - 40% for each of those subjects, I believe, which I thankfully already know I've passed.
On the upside, I never have to do a Latin language exam again. The downside is I have to do more literature....
Poo
I failed to stun the judges last week, but am the next on the list if someone declines an offer (which I doubt will happen). Ho hum...
...
...though it's not all doom and gloom as I've just been offered a job in Saarbrücken...
[rab] Your experiences are uncannily matching those of one of my officemates ... (first reserve after fellowship interview, [I'm assuming that's what your thing was?] ended up with a job in Germany). Good luck with whatever happens.
chuckling
oh the utter silliness of the Monday night e-pilg. Fair sets me up for the week, it does :-)
You are Number Two
[rab,Brendan] Do they say that to all the unselected candidates?
Who is Number One?
[Raak] Well, if they do, it's particularly cruel -- my colleague seemed very much under the impression that he was in with a chance (albeit slight) and was well advised not to commit to anything else until he heard back from them. I'm sure you've had sufficient experience with funding bodies to decide whether malicious cruelty is part of their makeup.
In my case I was told over the phone that if a place were declined, it would be offered to me. I can't see any reason why the lady I spoke to wouldn't tell the truth. In any case, I seem to have a contingency plan in place, so whilst I would like a Fellowship rather than an ordinary postdoc (better support, apart from anything else), I'd be happy with what I've been offered so far.
Herr Rab
There are many worse places than Saarbrücken, but you'll have to take your thermals.
monday pilg
well, I stuck my head around the door, then went and worked for an hour, and when i came back you'd all gone - kuh...
Pilg
I hope it wasn't too whiffy.
Two things...
1. Anyone else catch part 1 of the Goodies retrospective on Radio 4 this morning?
2. If any Doctor Who fans in here haven't heard, Billie Piper's been cast as the new assistant.
It raises the horrible suspicion that Chris Evans was, at some point, under consideration for the Doctor's role.
She can't possibly be as bad as
Bonnie Langford, can she?
Casting Who
How about Chris Morris for Doctor Who?
second in line -
I have a very goo dfriend who applied for a Fulbright Scholarship a couple of years ago, to study in the US from Oz. They narrow it down to 12, and she was informed that unfortunately she made it to number 13 and they were very sorry. ANYWAY, she was inLondon at the time, then heard a few weeks later that someone had dropped out and so she was in teh cut again (theyonly award one it seems) and could she get back to Sydney for an interview..... needless to say flights were booked that very day and YOU GUESSED IT, she is now at UCalifornia Davis doing a Veterinary PhD as a Fulbright Scholar......
Carrot
Absolutely pukingly drunk (flatmates far more sympathetic than anticipated!) Jesus revelations. Anyone want to share?
bedtime snifter
ZK]I'll join you with a small dram, treadmill again tomorrow. Sympathetic? bad exams?
[ZK] Film soc social night... italian then vodka revolution... martinis! sophisticated! yay! (and sick on someone's shoes, apparently)
Oh dear. I did snigger though.
exams
ZK] is this uni finals ? (you mention last exam....)
the mother of all hangovers
Unbelievably, I had three glasses of wine, about three apple sourz and one WKD blue. We'd got to the pub after my exam finished around 2, but I hadn't eaten since about twenty to nine. We thought I was a little tipsy (I'm good at being well-behaved) until I collapsed outside my friend's flat. I think the message above was written approximately 4 hours later, when I found myself inexplicably able to move around for a short period of time. I've spent most of today trying to piece together yesterday! [st d] Strangely enough, I haven't even finished my exams yet - I was merely with Annabel and Brad to celebrate the fact that they just had. Lol my flatmates are sooooo fond of me now!
[Btd] Virginia Bottomley? ;)
hangover cure
[ZK] two paracetamol, a litre of water and another hour's sleep - trust me, this had me up and about and rigging a set after a night in Moles...
Plus ça change
Good to see that student piss-artistry is still an activity pursued with some vigour. But don't think you're breaking new ground, in the broad sense. I was doing it in 1963. In those days puking it up provoked ridicule and humiliation, equivalent to "touching cloth" in a farting competiton. Does a similar culture prevail today?
If it does, I don't remember!
That being, I don't recall enough of the day to know :)
The solution
[ZK] Well, there's your problem. The trick is not to eat for at least 18 hours before you go on a binge. It won't make you less sick, but it's a lot cheaper.    ;-)
"oops, I forgot my purse"
And the joys of getting every single drink free... :)
[ZK] how'd you manage that? our cocktails-themed social cleaned me out...
Well, because it was during the day, and I'd come straight from my exam, they invited me out to the pub but I protested that I hadn't brought my purse with me. Annabel (whose last exam it was) said that was ok because she'd buy me a drink....hey presto and about 7 drinks later...oddly enough, simply by not packing cash, I managed to pull the same trick last night - I paid for a round with my card and then got free drinks all night (this time by sticking to J20) although in fairness, the guy buying them rather likes me.
But do you like him back, ZK?
Very nice lad. Not quite my type. Next time we go out, I'll be getting the drinks in...it's the way of the world :) I only accepted them all because I was skint and very, very warm.
[nights] Any more exams today?
no, just baffling exec handover. not sure why I went. it's more essays than exams at the moment, although they're on their way like so much bad news... (sighs and finishes eating pizza)
nostalgia
Crikey, I've just been looking back through the archives and realised how many games finished in my absence!
We should have one of those fabulous "cost-cutting" games...
[ZK] ?
eg "Lady Chatterly's Loofah" "Wuthering Hillocks" etc
hillocks to you, sir
I only have 2 ideas so far, but it's always seemed like a fun game :)
ho hum
No-one, looking through this place, would *imagine* that i have been hanging around on the net for waaaaaaaay too long...
[ZK] Je comprends. sp? is there meant to be an 's' on the end of the first person singular?
I think it's "comprends", although it's over a year since I stopped studying French and the net's not much help.
[ZK] I am reassured all the same. I shall spare you the knowledge of how long it is since I stopped doing French...
conjuger le verbe 'comprendre'
yes, the first singular present has an S on the end... the net is rubbish for french unless you already have a half decent knowledge of it. which lets me out...
Bonjour me sewer
My French evening class ended last night (entry level), needless to say I can confidently say I am no help to you with this at all, but if you want to say your name or go shopping I can help you pay. ("Je voudrais one of those and one of those s'il vous plait)
Le singe est dans l'arbre.
cost-cutters
3 Monkeys type of thing ? Sounds good. I might just go and start it.....
I've spent the day watching 90s french pseudo-noir film. I can swear a blue streak in french now, but I have no idea how to write my essay... [Ink] some of us still shop that way in France - "Avez vous this dans un large?"
le chat et sous de la chaise...
[st d] Changed for technical reasons to Le singe est sur la branche, because apparently otherwise one has a monkey enclosed within a tree (boo! hiss!)
[nights] It was great - I got to the airport in Rome and suddenly realised I'd completely forgotten that I'd need to learn another language. The week consisted of pointing at things and hoping they spoke English. Shocking. :)
Big bore?
All 12 housemates have arrived, strongly opinionated in the interview process I hope they still will be. The house looks wonderful, it is smaller, cramped and set up for confrontation. And tomorrow any housemate that loses the task does not get their suitcase! My expectations are high after the cosy-cosy niceness disaster of last year.
Gay people, extroverts, a posh girl, a homophobe, a man in a thong and a transsexual (did I understand that right?), most of whom seem to be students or activists of some kind, or office workers. Personally I think that Stuart, the posh blonde girl and the straight little adorable scousish lass will all get eaten alive within the first week. But I don't know if I can bear to watch to find out...
Big Punch-Up
I think there's going to be fisticuffs by the end of the bank holiday. if not on screen, then definitely between my housemates - they were a bit excitable...
Dee Wun in the Big Brooter Hoose
Indeed. I had some friends over for the launch and there was a lot of OMGing. In previous years, particularly last, I thought the producers didn't go for the obvious conflicts, going for more subtle personality clashes. This year, they seem to have though "oh feck it, let's just go hell for leather". I too predict violence this year. And that bedroom's going to be well stinky. We admired Shell's (?) nous in selecting the top bunk of a bed, rather than going straight for a double before realising there's not enough to go round. I do like the idea of the alarm ensuring everyone has to get up. The outside baths are also ominous - one wonders if they'll be shutting off the bathroom at some point...
ISIHAC back
Crossposted everywhere: ISIHAC is back on Radio 4 this Monday, 6:30pm.
Excellent.
girls on top
With only a couple of days passed, first impressions for me, I'd would like to see Kitten win with either Stuart or Vanessa to go first.
If Kitten got evicted, surely she'd refuse to leave?
Kitten annoys the hell out of me - I'm not being anti-anything (some of my best friends are lesbians) but she does seem only in it to piss everyone else off. What happened last night anyway, I was a having a four hour dinner with my housemates. From first impressions, Shell to win, Stuart to go first, the stuck up idiot. I live with a guy like him and he does my nut. OK, done ranting.
Harry Potter
Sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than the first two movies. Go see go see!
HP
Well, POA is my fave HP book, and I think David Thewlis is a great actor (not to mention Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, &tc), so I am greatly looking forward to seeing it! I want to choose a quiet time with not too many kids, so I decided to pass on the premier weekend. Perhaps later this week, as I hope to have Friday off..(must check it's not half-term in Cardiff though).
Go see! *still jumping up and down*
Plagiarism
ANy one in possession of the current "Radio Times" (Bill Oddie cover)? There's an article in there on opera music used in adverts which shamelesly rips off "Who-do-doo-doo-doo-doo-do-do-do-do-Hitler", page 28 I think.
HP Source
I saw HP3 last night... will compose a review for Books@MCiOS later.
The eighth plague
[Bigsmith] Not seen that... on the other hand proving that it was our idea may not be so straightforward.
Potty
[ZK] Yes, I got dragged along and quite enjoyed it - better than the first two, I thought, and very atmospheric.
Yay! :)
[snorgle] if it's any help, it's DEFINITELY half term in bath. takes twice as long to get anywhere or do anything. grr.
[snorgle, nights] Half-term here too, in commuter land. It takes only half as long to do anything or go anywhere. :o)
[pen] It is indeed much easier to get to work. Now if only we could get rid of those OAPs that have to get to the shops by 9am. I can only assume that they drive so slowly, that'll take the rest of the day to get back home.
It was easier to drive in today, almost a pleasure coming to work! but why, when they all the time in the day world does Waynetta insist on dragging her brats round town at lunchtime. They are not half as cute as (For those at work with speakers on their pc BEWARE!!) Boobah, the current favoutite with our toddler; now the Bobinogs have finished.
Boobah
The mind boggles!
Separated at birth?
Inkspot] Has anyone else noticed the uncanny resemblance between two erstwhile players of MC and Children’s TV programmes? Boobah and Bob the dog are extremely similar to Boolbar and Bobinog. Are they perhaps related? I think we should be told.
Children's Hour
[Btd]Very spooky! You wouldn't have had any mix up like that in my day. Way, back in the early sixties I don't think there was much if any pre-school tv; unlike now with CeeBeebies. It is more likely back then sat around the radio to Listen With Mother.
[ZK]Time to come out of the closet, which did you have 'My Little Pony' or 'The Care Bears'?
Watching
[Inkspot] Surely "Watch With Mother" was on even in the early 60s? I can't speak from personal memory of course, but I thought programmes like Muffin the Mule were of that vintage.

OK, fifteen minutes a day hardly counts as extensive programming, but...

Watching with Mother
[Inkspot, Dunx] The Woodentops? Rag Tag and Bobtail? The Flowerpot Men? (the real ones!) Andy Pandy? Surely all that stuff was on by then? Or did it only exist on my childhood video that we watched ad nauseam? (I remember going to a fancy dress party as Looby Lou - both myself and my sister, in fact)

[Inkspot] I think I missed the Care Bear craze by a couple of years - by the time I came along we only had the magazines (which were jumble sale buys) and the movie (terrifying). We do, still, however, have all our My Little Ponies in a box in the toy cupboard, which my younger sisters still play with (and now I fancy a go cos you've reminded me! :)) We also have the video, even though I can't think for the life of me where it's gone. I'm *sure* one of my earliest memories is one of the boys in the village turning up with that as a birthday present for my older sister. Angie - are you about? Anything to say on the subject? I suspect those videos were actually made in Sweden (they had american voices)...I haven't seen it in ages but that would explain the lipsynching.

....Sorry. Went off on a nostalgic tangent there....
Rain
At the risk of raising someone's ire. [Rosie] How are we going? We had 16mm of rain during May (15.5mm of that on the 26th)
TV
[ZK] Andy Pandy and the Flower Pot Men were definitely televised in the early 1950s - regrettably I can remember them (B&W of course). ... :-(
Ah. I have no concept of time, you see. Andy Pandy ran for ages though didn't it? I liked them anyway, although maybe I just loved them so much because I got to see them over and over and over....
Rain
(Dujon) I've just read that Sydney and surrounding areas are having a something of a drought, but I don't know what your average should be, so I can't really evaluate your one-day downpour. My guess is that it's not that unusual. Here, I got 72 mm in May (normal is 61 mm) but there was a 10-day dry spell in the middle. Year's total is 351 mm, 7% above normal, so nothing dramatic.
One Fat Lady
Do you remember the job I didn't get? Well, cos I didn't get it I subsequently got a job I hadn't applied for. Well, that's now been blown out of the water because I got the job I didn't get... Are you keeping up at the back?
Counter number one
[rab]Does that mean you are going to bite there arm off; or mull it over for a day or two?
[ZK]My Little Ponies was a lucky wild guess but please say you never had a Cabbage Patch Doll surely one of the ugliest toys ever sold. Andy Pandy is still going and has been given a fresh lease of life to a young generation along with Noddy. (The things I have to watch in the name of 'bonding' and good parenting ;))
[Inkspot] Well, it beats watching EvoStik. Depends on the kind of bonding, I suppose.
[rab] What a confusing, if ironically successful, life you lead. Congratulations.
catching up ...
[rab] Is this Mccongratulations?
[Duj] Whose ire do you risk raising with your weather-talk? :-)
[Inkspot] I think I had a tiny plastic one from a jumble sale, but not a real live (so to speak) big squishy one. I think that was before my time as well. I well know about Andy Pandy's new lease of life, and Bill & Ben's (not a fan of the new looks) - I'm quite fond of the new Noddy though.

However, for student viewing it's Balamory all the way! :)
[rab] Congratulations?
Whee
[Inkspot, Dunx, Chalky, Nik] Thanks! It's a better job, so I have indeed accepted it. Which means I'll be returning to Edinburgh for three years starting November. Wow.
Edinburgh? Wow! Congrats, and Carrots!, rab.
. . . at the back
[rab] Now I understand. Horrahs and congrats!
oooooooooooh!!
congrats rab! :) what is it you'll be doing now?
On the news this morning...
I note with interest that Bob the dog has quit his post at the CIA...
Open door
With 50 ways trundled off, any suggestions for new and original games for when LbLR is completed.
golly, I go away for a couple of days
crazy how things move on here. I go back to the midlands for a family funeral, and you've all moved on. As far as children's crazes go, I'm not sure I had a childhood. I might have blocked it out though. and congrats rab on the job - well done you!

[ZK] don't tell anyone but me and my housemates are fans of Balamory also. shhhh...

Right, off to my french exam, then to brave bath city centre as I have no food again. ha ha ha ha ha.
childhood
nights] sorry to hear you wee at a funeral.
Childhood was the bit when you couldn't tie your own shoelaces - ring any bells ?
lost consonants
(that was a genuine typo, though possibly a good entry in Lost Consonants - my apologies)
[rab] Congratulations!
childhood
I couldn't tie my shoelaces last week, st d, does that count?
not if it's through alcohol, no.
How about a game involving..........
International land marks, either natural or man made.........
Widey's Arbitrary Selection
How's about a game where we all arbitrarily suggest something to be involved in a game, and that could in some way link to the next move, such as by naming the finishing move (structure a la Corporation D)...
can we have one based on car colours? I had to try and say 'cheyenne red' at work today while keeping a straight face.
completely off-topic
I seem to be unable to remember the Arabic word for "fork" (the eating implement). I have been trying all day, and now know knife, spoon, table, airplane, tree, apartment and letter, all fine.

I'm not sure why this disturbs me.

Apologies to all concerned, but I've gone and ranted all over the Limerick game. Perhaps I shouldn't have done so, but IMHO the fact is, if you allow just anything, and if you have to twist it too many times to get it even close to fitting, then what you have is no longer a limerick but freeform non-poetry and therefore not acceptable in a specifically Limerick game. Even if the ISIHAC team come up with bad (read: unfunny or the wrong kind of nonsensical) limericks sometimes, at least they *are* recognisable as limericks as far as rhyming and scansion goes...
Limerpricks
[JLE] No need for apology - you've had plenty of support and quite right too.
[JLE] When you criticse, you tend to do it strongly, which perhaps makes people who don't know you less receptive to your message. But I agreed with the message.
[JLE] I, too, agree with the point you were making. Now, of course, I'm sure someone could come up with many examples of poor scansion on my part, but I do try, and it is very frustrating to see a line show up with clearly falls short of the mark. Still, as I said in the game, if the quality dropped I'd rather go elsewhere than join in a scansion war.
Clouded in, as usual
I'm attempting to watch the transit of Venus - as usual the clouds have interfered! Urk! Currently trying through the Worth Hill (UK) site (the local CSIRO requires a program for which one needs a credit card to access ... bastards!) No success at this stage ... surely the sun rises before 05:25 GMT at this time of the year? Ah well, back to cyber viewing.
Yeah!
I've now got sunlight and a site (here)
Swing low sweet chariot
Unfortuately the sun is so low that attempting to project its image is a waste of time. The tree leaves look good, mind you ... which reminds me ...
Brilliant sunshine here
Just shot most of a reel of film through a 1000mm lens, with umpteen different exposure times. Should have results in a few days. Of course, they'll all look like a white disc with a black dot on it...
And yes, there was a sheet of aluminised mylar over the objective.
*seriously jealous*

[Dujon] Due to lack of clouds and location location location, I saw the lot, projected through binoculars. Have dodgy photos.

Venus
(Dujon) Don't worry, there'll be another one along in 8 years. June 5/6 2012 and you should be able to see all of it. Starts 2216 GMT, ends 0429 GMT. We might just see the end of it (sun rises here about 3.45 GMT). Then there are a couple in December, which would be much more favourable for you, but not until 2117 and 2125, which would not. I saw the transit here by projection, having assembled a telescope from the various lenses and eyepieces I've got lying around, plus a cardboard tube. Even so, there's a limit to the fascination of a black dot. Good weather; sunny, but with lots of cirrus, southerly breeze, temperature 28°C. Sweaty night coming up.
Sweltering in the heat.
Hello, chums and pals. How are we all? Raak, nice photo of the lense thingamy. Not an officianado of teh gadgets myself, but "stargazing" of "Venus spotting" can be interesting. I'm often given to ponder the wonder of the "up the there and yonder".

So, how are we all, people? I note with apprehension the talk of scansion problems in the Limerick game. Hope it doesn't get out of hand. It's funny, but just last night I was reading through the old "Ballykissangels" game from Mr. Wild Pants's old site, and recalling with a tear of nostalgia the uproar and chicanery the night Kezar and myself were accused of impersonating the good Dr. Q in an effort to rectify a poem that had floundered due to apparent scansion difficulties. We were both quite innocent of the charges brought against us, you understand. Though we still bear the terrible bite marks from Rosie's Lobster-torture.

Ah, the memories.

Anyway, I hope no one recoils in horror at thew thought of Evil Dr. Thrax crashing in here once again after a sort of "Black Sabbatical". I'd like to extend a warm greeting to you all - in especial, Rosie whose punishments keep me in order, Chalky whose correspondance has always been kind, and was often a source of encouragement when I felt very deeply depressed, Dujon whose appreciation of my insanity has not been forgotten, Dr. Q, if he's around, whose love of American Football I share, Korky who used to amuse with tales of uncomfortable bowel movements at work, ZK, if he is perhaps the artist(piss-artist perhaps?) formerly known as Zakalwe(I'm just guessing), and who conspired with me to turn a Pants Game into a horror story long ago, Darren who was most forgiving of bad behaviour, and JLE whose skill at MC far outstretches my own and often has me spellbound.

Greetings to you all, and to those I don't really know...I should look forward to getting to know you all better.

Well, as the Hand of Time picks the Nose of Eternity, and the Snot of Knowledge is wiped on the Trouser Leg of Fate, I realise that I've rambled on a fair bit, and feel compelled to give way to a fellow speaker.
*proffers hankie with a stern look*
Hello Thrax :o)
Blushing.
Thank you, good lady.
back for more
[Thrax] Good to see you back. Bad news by the way that not only is that chap ZK, Zoological Keeper but also a female and a student.
sparing
Where on Earth (or otherwise) have you been, Thrax?
Doh!!
Inkspot, thank you for the welcome, and for putting me straight on the identity of ZK.

Ms. Keeper, my heartfelt and humble apologies. *blushes with embarassment*

snorgle, hello there. Good to see you. Yes, on Earth I have remained. In Swindon to be precise. What joy to live in a town whose entry is "Where the f**k?" in my Atlas. How are you, Sir or Madam? (I can't remember your gender I'm afraid, and am taking no chances).
*astonished*
Welcome back, Thrax! Nice to know you're still around!
Grinning.
And good to know you're here, Sir. Tell me, are you still on The Force? I seem to recall you were one of the Boys in Blue. Still doing that to earn yer crust?
"Evening, all"
No, never been in the constabulary. I'm still sweating it out as a housing officer for a lesser London Borough, although my recent elevation to Void Management Officer means I've gone up two payscales and I no longer have to deal with the public. Whoopee!
Trying to dust cobwebs from ailing memory.
Hmmm, I seem to recall one of the Pants regulars was a copper. Thought it was you, Sir, but must've got me wires crossed. Perhaps it wasn't you who regailed us all with the "Digestion story" then either. Doh! Hey ho. So, a promotion, eh? Onward and upward. Sounds grand. Congratulations.
I was intrigued by your opening post, when you mentioned reading through the Ballykissangels game from Pants. Do you have some kind of arcane and eldritch way of accessing this sadly deceased site, or did you copy loads of text off the web?
Lamenting it.
Alas no, Korky, my friend. I saved the page out as an HTML file long ago before Pants MC closed down. Kept it for old times' sake. Had I known in advance that the site would expire, I'd have saved out many more, as some contained real gems of hilarity from many many fine MCers. Alas. A moment's silence is called for i think.
Io Thrax.
[Thrax] Quality lying, sir.
miss
I'm female, Thrax - and reasonably well (if intensely bored at my job - AGAIN!) I SO need to get a job which isn't always on the phones..
Freakout
Howdy, Doc. Pleasure to see you again, my good Sir. Life treating you well? Been enjoying the current season of ISIHaC via the net? I'm often given to wonder what your chums in Pennsylvania make of it if ever they happen to be present and hear it when you're tuned into the show. I bet they'd think we're all lunatics on this side of The Pond, what?

And greetings, Dunx. How'd you do? "Quality lying" though? Not sure I follow you. I don't believe I've told any whoppers here today, or are you referring to my moves in the "Swear to God" game?

And Snorgle, a lady, eh? *Doffs hat in gentlemanly fashion as redolent of some Oscar Wilde drama for no obvious reason other than it seems in-keeping with my character* Delighted to make your aquaintance. I recall we always had a severe shortage of female company chez-Pants. Chalky of course remained until the biter end, and your name rings a bell, but ladies were, it must be said, not merely few and far between, but also most sorely missed. Still, count yourself lucky that you never fell under the lascivious(sp? no idea), roving eye of that chimeric lothario Kezar. A fortunate escape for you there. *Ahem* Anyway, I'm sorry to learn that your job is most unsatisfactory. *Sigh* They do say work is a rotten way to earn a living, do they not?
Hi Thrax
Hi Thrax, it has been a long time!!!!
Freakout
Why, Darren, 'tis good to see you too, Sir. How are you, me old China?
[Thrax] You divine my intent correctly, sir. Apologies for any misapprehension; entirely my own fault for being insufficiently clear in my sincere wish to convey my compliments. I am very well, thank you for asking, although rather fatigued from a foolishly early start and a surfeit of exercise these last two days. But such is the burden of the long distance runner, or at any rate one who aspires to such a qualification.
Oh, and work's a bugger at the mo, but that is an entirely separate conversation to have away from these hallowed halls.
Freakout
Ah, that's all well. No apology necessary, Sir. I took no offence. So, a long-distance runner eh? Sounds exhausting but rewarding. Groovy.
ISIHAC in Pittsburgh
I have made a few converts...one of which has taken to MC like a duck to Nick Knight. ;)
[Dunx] You've given up the bike?
Hm. I seem to recall that the PantsMC regular who was a policeman was the person who went by the name of "Corkington" AFAIK.
Bike vs Feet
[Dr Q] No, but not cycling as much right now since I am in training for a marathon in the autumn (Portland, OR on the first Sunday in October - Portland, ME iss the same day as it happens). This is the same race I was training for last year but had to abandon due to injury.

The more I run the more convinced I become that I will return to cycling, but I feel vastly better than I did three months ago and I am sure that I'll get more out of whatever exercise I continue with as a consequence.

Hello, Thrax, old bean! It's nice to see that you haven't totally forgotten how to access the weird and whacky world of the Morniverse.
I'm going to have to start believing in telepathy, which to hard-nosed rationalist like myself would be a Damascene conversion, because about 24 hrs ago, before any of this appeared, I said to myself "I wonder if old (young) Thrax is OK?", and here he is, FFS. Neither Kezar or those FUCKING LOBSTERS have done for you, then, mate? Excellent. No more to say, really.
[Thrax] I'm doing OK, thanks. It's a pity you missed the uberpilg in Rugby.
[Thrax] Not a problem, rather something to amuse me after my brief absence, although similar mistakes have been made before :)
ZK] only online I hope ?
Freakout
That's great news, Doc. Does this converted duck perchance have internet access? Might he/she at some point brave the hallowed turf of this most jolly arena?

Ah! yes, once again, Jonathan, you've come up trumps with the info. I seem to recollect that Corkington was here and there occasioned the familiar soubriquet of "Corkers" - I think Chalky was initially responsible for that one - and perhaps therein lay the genesis of my little misinference. How are you, anyway?

And hello to you, Duj, my friend - or do they really use the term "cobber" down under? - I trust you are well? 'Tis indeed a glorious feeling to be back among the Morniverse, as you refreshingly term it.

Heh, you know, Rosie there are those who subscribe to the scientific principle that the human mind does generate enough brainwave energy to transmit like a radio broadcast at times, and that telepathy is indeed possible. I'm uncertain as to whether or not it can emit across the divide between Swindon and, er, Surrey wasn't it? I'm Surrey I Haven't a Clue. In any case, I tried discussing this with the FUCKING LOBSTERS, but found them to be most unco-operative. Difficult to establish telepathic communication with a creature that bears a thick exoskeleton and seems forever intent upon shooting up yer arsehole every time your back's turned. *Shudder*

I'm glad to hear you're well, Darren, my friend. Alas I knew nothing of any "uberpilg". Sounds either charmingly continental and noble, or wickedly decadent and filthy. Either way, I'm most aggreived to have missed it.

And thank you, ZK, for your most willful clemency upon my faux-pas. I am relieved. *Bows*
Uber-pilg
Thrax] Well, a large number of us all buggered off to a swish hotel in Rugby to record our own ISIHAC, and a fine time was had by all. Details are on Orange's To Be A Pilgrim game, and Merlyn has actually created a fine website with transcript and photo's. We're planning to do another one in May next year, so keep your diary clear.
Freakout
Huuuhh?! Oh I wish I'd known. I'd love to have attended and met up with you guys! I'd give anything to be able to get outside these four walls and meet people. It gets so lonely being stuck in here 24/7 on my own for months on end. Tell me, Korky, this place you speak of - do they have facilities for disabled people? If so I'd give anything to meet with you all next May. Anything!
facilities
Depends on the disability, I guess. If you're talking imparied mobility/wheelchair access then I didn't notice any bedrooms downstairs (except in the outbuildings) or lift within the main building, but perhaps others can recall better. I guess a quick phonecall to Brownsover Hall about the issue wouldn't hurt.
And, nice as it was, if Brownsover weren't accessible, I'm sure we'd all be happy to look at alternatives.
Freakout
Well, Projoy, I am indeed a user of a wheelchair, and thus a ground floor room or lift would be necessary(I live on the first floor as it happens), otherwise it's a "Fireman's Lift" situation. Regrettably there's more obstacle to be overcome though. Rugby's a fair distance from where I live, in Swindon, and I can neither drive nor load/unload the chair myself. Furthermore, all my family and friends live more than 2 hours from my abode, and I very much doubt any one of them(since they're not MCers themselves) would be willing to drive for two hours to pick me up, drop me off, make their way off home again, then come back two days later(would I be correct to infer that this is a weekend break?) and drive me back frm Rugby to Swindon then go home again.

See, there's no way I can use a train either. Not without a friend to accompany me.

I'm not really sure how it could be done, unless one of you fine fellows lives in the West Country and would be willing to give me a lift from Swindon.
OK. Not being a driver, I'm afraid I couldn't help on the lifts thing, but conceivably this could influence our choice of location. There might be places that Swindon is on the way to that are just as nice as Brownsover. Here's a list of wheelchair accessible hotels in the UK. Anyway, not for me to decide on behalf of the participants, of course, but maybe worth a bit of research.
[st d] Er...well, that mistake hasn't been made since I was about eleven or so, face to face. I was not happy, as you would probably gather, and have cultivated somewhat of an obsession with the colour pink ever since....
Shameless interruption
Morning all! [Thrax] It's nice to see you back. I must admit having only caught some of your antics during my brief tenure on Pants but it's good to see people return from beyond the Reality Point.

[Bob the dog] Thank you very much for the bottle of cider you bought me - I shall be enjoying it this evening with dinner!

wheelchair access
Thrax] would it be okay to just get you really really drunk so you could just fall asleep in your wheelchair ?
ZK] I am truly intrigued now. How come this mistake was never made before you were 11 ?
Didn't she say it was only until she was 11? Personally I was always mistaken for a girl and my sister was generally thought to be a boy. That pretty much sums up the power politics in my family.
aha !
BM] of course. I was thinking that was a bit strange. I remember people saying "what a beautiful little girl" when I was 4 or 5 and being really pissed off by it. Darn pink tutu my Mother used to make me wear.....oh well, I'm still intrigued but instead am now imagining ZooKeeper to be heartstoppingly beautiful.
cute children
My three brothers were all very blond and pretty when ickle. We're all fairly close in age and relatives/friends would cast their eye over the boys exclaiming how bonny they were and save the piteous glances for me [the brown-haired freckly girl]. It was at that stage that I decided I needed to develop a personality.
oh yes ... [Thrax] good to see you in here :-)
what a drag.
The last time I was mistaken for a girl was at the age of 23, but it was from behind and my hair was half-way down my back. The only other time I guess the lipstick and frock had something to do with it . . . .
Mistaken Identity
When I was a little chap - up to the age of 7 or 8, I was often mistaken for a girl, much to my fury at the time. If you saw me now you'd realise why the same mistake has not been made for quite a while. Even in drag I think I would be about as convincing as the late great Les Dawson - or for that matter Roy Barraclough.
PS
I suppose I ought to terminate that posting with a quick
Knickers, knackers, knockers !!!
[St D]
Somehow I imagine not just ZK but all the female Crescenteers, none of whom I have met, to be heart-stoppingly beautiful. Call me a charming old romantic, a dreamer, a visionary, or a typical male internet nerdy type whose sole female interaction comes from Tomb Raider. It's up to you. Personally I'm going for the visionary option.
Hear! Hear!
Having met 4 of the female Crescenteers (lib, penelope, Chalky & Norma), I can at least confirm some of that vision. And I'm sure that they are shining examples of the rest of Crescentdom. We can only hope that they look upon us in a similar light - despite having actually met the likes of myself :-)
changing the subject entirely, I found a version of 'Boardo' when clearing out my room in halls prior to moving out next week (sniff). Anyone mind if we play it here?
[st d, Breadmaster] Of course I'm heartstoppingly beautiful. Only today, three men looked at me and dropped down dead. :)

[st d] As to being 'mistaken', I've never quite been able to forget when I was in the balcony at the swimming pool in Wellingborough, and half a class of boys decided to try tp ask me out. Their opening gambit was "are you a girl?". Needless to say, this particular Zooological Keeper was not best pleased....and I didn't say yes...The mistake probably wasn't made before because I used to wear skirts all the time. Post 10 or 11 I was rarely out of jeans.

[nights] I'm game!
turn on your speakers
http://www.potterpuppetpals.com/sexy.swf
If you've got a minute....
Well it's fairly obvious (to anybody who has ever met me) that I could never be mistaken for a girl in real life, but my speaking voice is naturally high-pitched enough to have been mistaken for a low-pitched female voice over the phone (when I said "hello", the reply was "erm, are you Mrs Ellis? We only have a record of a *Mr* Ellis at this address"). In fact I know several women, all of them contralto singers from music college, who very definitely have lower speaking voices than I do...
The gender divide
One can feel one has truly come of age when, when you answer the telephone, people mistake you for you father rather than your mother (speaking as a male). Not sure what that'd do as a female ;)
...and on a totally different subject
Oh, and now I've won a game (hehehe) is there some sort of scoreboard? Having noticed the very old-looking one over at MCiOS, and considering that there isn't (yet) too much of an archive to wade through, could there be something of that sort for this beatifully conceived server?
potterpuppetpals
I love that site! The last time I checked, there were just 2 shows, so I assume that's a new one. Unfortunately, it's also very popular, so I'll have to wait to see it!
dreams
[Breadmaster, LotUS] Well, you haven't met me yet, but I'm sorry that your dream will be shattered if you do - either that or you will drop dead for real. :-)

[Tuj] I'm moving backwards, then. I've been mistaken for a teenage boy on the phone by telemarketers, and not just once. Perhaps it's the slightly surly business-like way I answer when I've been interrupted as well as lowish voice pitch. As I assume they're not allowed to sell to minors, I really love answering their question "Is Mum or Dad there?" with (100% truthfully cross my heart and all) "Nup. Bye."

Voice on the phone
I'm told my voice when I'm on the phone is much lower than when I'm speaking face-to-face. Not that I answer the phone with "Menswear" or anything. ;)
Rugby
Thrax] Don't recall Brownsover Hall looking particularly wheelchair-friendly. IIRC, there are steps to the front, and the rear access is over shingle/gravel. However, I'm sure that were the same location used next year, all MCers would be only to happy to assist in any area that you needed. Obviously, the staff should be able to make arrangements if they knew in advance that you were coming. Obviously, getting from Swindon could be more of a problem. I know Chalky came up from the west country, but she didn't drive. However, if we all put our heads together, I'm sure we can come up with a way.
Access All Areas
[Brownsover Hall] Mr. Brain reminds me that there was a disabled loo next to the mens and a ramp up to it. Also a side entrance (opposite the stables, near the carpark) had the words "disabled access" on a sign. I must also say that Mr. Brain is frequently unrealiable, especially after a few pints and The Biscuit Game.
Access more than you remember
[brownsover hall] IIRC, the route between the stables bedrooms and the rear of the hotel was paved and reasonably level - the outside tables were sitting on gravel, but that was only a short stretch. There was also a paved route from near the front door steps around to the rear door which is wheelchair accessible, I'm pretty sure. As UK said, I'm sure there's a way, and plenty of assistance if needed.
Back again.
Well, Penelope, UK, Boolbar et al, that actually sounds reasonable. Essentially any ground floor accommodation would be suitable, and it's only for a weekend(?), so I'm sure it shouldn't be difficult. At risk of asking for too much, I could do with a wee smidgen of assistance during the stay if anyone is willing to volunteer a hand - perhaps a workload shared between two or three? When I say "workload" incidently, I'm referring to little more than pushing me across that gravel, cutting up some of whatever meals we order and helping to slip on/remove socks and shoes. Are their any kind souls here who might be willing to chip in a bit? I'd be most grateful.

Oh, and st d, falling asleep drunk in my wheelchair is - ahem - not unprecedented.

Jonathan, They mistake you for Mrs Ellis, eh? Interesting, but when you get your regular correspondence from Mrs Trellis of North Wales(as we all do of course), for whom does she mistake you? She addresses me as "Ms. Fernandez" - the wheelchair user who was in Eldorado and The Office.

ZK - hearstoppingly beautiful, eh? Raaaowwwr. Stop it with your wicked alluring imagery or I think I'll start to experience 'Charlotte Greene' syndrome. Rosie and I both fancied her for years with no idea what she looked like. Ha!

And last but not least, Hey, there, Chalky. I've really missed you a great deal. I do hope you're well. I didn't forget you BTW. You got a personalised greeting in my opening post, but I think it may have slipped orf the page by the time you got here t'other day. How are you, anyway? Long time no hear.

And with that, I shall depart for the moment, and no doubt be back shortly. Addidas!

*Sneaks out of page singing "Voodoo Lady" By Creme Brullée*
[Thrax] Willing to offer any of that kind of help, if I'm there, which I'm fully expecting to be.
*Echoes Projoy*
Freakout
That's very kind of you folks. Perhaps a little nearer the time, we'll chat a wee bit about things just for clarity. You can email me at anthraxhirl@freakout.freeserve.co.uk Indeed I'm happy for anyone here to email me for badinage as you see fit, upon whatever subject you like. Except "Reality TV". *Shudder*
intrigue
Now that my intrigue as to the extent of ZK's beauty has been satisfied (does one satisfy an intrigue ? in fact is that even th eright word ? mmm. Anyway. Now I am intrigued as to exactly why mr Thrax is in a wheelchair, and also why he needs someone to cut up everybody's meals. Is that just a personal OCD you have ?
Freakout
LOL! Yes, st d, I have a very rare medical condition that means I can't stand the sight of everybody's meals not cut up before we all dine together. Ha. It's a rare psychological disorder, but I can't cope with anyone tucking in before everybody's orders have been not merely brought to table, but properly disected and divided up into segregated components(sometimes even quantified and noted down on a clipboard for archiving). I got so frustrated by this once, that I endeavoured to take matters in hand one evening at a dinner party, and lunged towards a butler, with a knife and fork, as he emerged from the kitchen with two plates of Duck A L'Orange. Thinking himself in great danger, the man dropped the two dishes, pulled a gun and shot me in the abdomen. Ever since, I've been confined to a wheelchair and someone has to "cut up everybody's meals", as you acutely observed, on my behalf.

I trust I've satisfied your intrigue on that matter too. *winks
Good lord, the girl in the wheelchair in The Office was the one from Eldorado? I remember seeing her on an Esther Rantzen programme a while ago (that I happened to flick into in the middle of, honest, really yeronna) in a piece about critics. She was talking about how the critics were unfair to Eldorado. The funny thing is that they had the art critic Brian Sewell on too, and she hated him. I have never seen anything like it. He was asked something like, "So what do you think of artists personally?" and he replied in his typical manner, "Oh, I just want to stamp on them like cockroaches." And she went completely nuclear - "How can you say that about human beings! How can you say that!" He just sat there twiddling his glasses with a taken-aback expression. It was lucky she was in a wheelchair really or she might have gone and decked him. Two people who simply didn't gel, I felt. But nice to see that Nessa's rages weren't entirely simulated...
Freakout
Actually, I was at school with the girl in question. I used to have lunch with her everyday, believe it or not. Hmmm, I'm not sure who should be more ashamed though, BM - Julie for being this Nessa to whom you referred in a God-awful soap about British Ex-Pats living in Costa Del Tawdry, or you for admitting to watching Esther Rantzen. Heh. I guess we'll call it a nil-nil draw, shall we, my friend? LOL!
Freakout
Oooh, I've just had a thought. Anyone up for a game of Go Johnny Go Go Go Go? I'm itching to try it out here on this server. What do you think? I take it you've all seen the famous LoG sketch?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............................
We often play said game here in the hospital..........LoG, gods amongst men!!
Spare Games
[Thrax] I'm not familiar with the game myself, but there are a number of game openings at Orange MC since today is the annual Orange Festival of Crescent.

[rab] Apologies for unwarranted trumpet blowing.

Freakout
Nice one, widey. Glad to hear I'm not alone around here in my appreciation of the League. Er, for the benefit of those of you who aren't familiar with the game - such as your good self, Dunx - Go Johnny Go Go Go Go is a card game that three of the characters play one evening in the Royston Vasey hosipital, St. Mary of Bethlehem. Essentially, it seems that two of the fellas have made it up on the spot - "it's a cross between Hoover and Eight Men Down" - with over-complex and nonsensical rules. They then explain them at breakneck speed to the third character, impressing upon him, "you'll pick up the rest as we play."

In essence, the game is not that dissimilar to MC, and could therefore be played on a website such as this. Instead of our moves being train stations, they could be cards, like "Seven of Clubs", "King of Diamonds", "Ace in the Hole" etc. with appropriate comments about 'scoring' and 'tactics' etc. just like how we play MC. The winning move, instead of "Mornington Crescent", could be "Go Johnny Go Go Go Go".

I could set up such a game, with a heading containing the explanation of rules(to be largely ignored, though not contradicted. Anyone up for it?

As a final thought, if you haven't seen the sketch, I strongly recomend checking out The League of Gentlemen. It's one of the best programmes I've seen in a LOOOONG time. The card game features in Season 2, and also in the DVD Live at Drury Lane, where they, like Python before them, perform some of their sketches before an audience.

So, anyone care to join me for a hand of Go Johnny Go Go Go Go? You'll pick it up as we play...
Transit pic

I don't know if that's a sunspot just above 3 o'clock, or just a speck on the film. I have about twenty more pictures, but they all look like this one. :-)

Transit pic
(Raak) Excellent pic. Not sure about the "sunspot". I don't remember seeing any when I projected the image with a small telescope. I used to be a keen observational amateur astronomer myself but not these days, but I'm one the few amateurs to know something about celestial dynamics (orbits, perturbations, 3-body problems etc). It's a guaranteed conversation-stopper.
League of their own
LoG great series, this site has many wav files including That's a Go Johnny Go Go Go Go
oooooh
Nice one, Raak. *still jealous*
Ani Miles Away
[flerdle] Griz (he's a bit sleepy at this time of the year) asked me to pass on his best regards to wallaby and also the hope that wallaby's transition is not some sort of permanent state.
??
wallaby was fine last time I checked, and sends his good wishes to Griz. She says that Griz probably needs some glasses, or a nice long snooze.
[Thrax] I am in the presence of celebrity, albeit at second remove! I offer according respect. If you ever see her again, tell her that I am not ashamed to say that I thoroughly enjoyed Eldorado. Well, not very ashamed.
[Raak] I'm sure you know that sunspots generally appear only around the solar equator and tend to come in groups, like a line of bubbles... which is pretty much what they are.
[BM/Thrax] I quite like Eldorado too, if truth be told. I detest all other soaps, however. I still play the Eldorado theme to myself sometimes, when I am alone with keyboard or guitar.
Freakout
Nice pic, Raak. Very grrovy.

Yes, well, I did find her on Friends Reunited a couple of years ago, Breadmaster, and wrote to her, but I can't recall whether or not I got a reply. Hey ho.

I never watched it myself, Darren, except for a few minutes here and there, which were enough to put me right off, I'm afraid.

So, who here watcheds the Football? Sacré Bleu!! A defeat snatched from the jaws of victory if ever I saw one.
Well what *do* you expect from a manager who substitutes our best player (Rooney) with the proven international failure Emile Heskey? Whose inept challenge gave away the free kick from which the equaliser was scored...
Zooks !
[ZK] Are you really a Zoo Keeper ? If so, what type of animal keepeth thou ? Little fluffy ones ? Scaly slippery ones ? Big bold smelly ones ? Please do tell. And at which zoo ?
On the other hand, if you aren't really a Zoo Keeper, then I'd guess with a moniker like that you must be a teacher !
Zooks!
[Blob] Student. :) The name itself derives from an episode of The Goon Show I have on tape.
Greenslade: "A flannelled fool approaches the penguin pool."
Neddy: "Aaah, good morning, zooological keeper!"

[Thrax, JLE] I'm just so gutted because we were actually playing decent football for once - every other match I've ever watched, I've been sitting cringing at our defence. And who'd really take it out on James? You could if you were feeling bitter but I'm more inclined to point the finger at Heskey and Gerrard (and then, possibly, James) Whoever was brought on for Owen though, fair enough - I thought he was particularly unspectacular. Of course, if Beckham hadn't missed the penalty, the French mightn't have suddenly summoned up the confidence to win, but, hey, there you go. *thinks* Next match, I'm getting the Doritos in. Then we'll win...I knew ordinary crisps wouldn't do the trick...
Re Becks
[ZK] Thanks for clarifying that - so, a student zoo keeper then.
[Re England/France] I think it's a little unfair to say "if Beckham hadn't missed the penalty" - he didn't miss exactly; his attempt was saved. To me a miss is when the goaly doesn't have to bother coz. the ball's gone over the net/round the side/backwards/vertically either up or down, or deflated on the penalty-takers toecap.
... panalty taker's toecap.
(Third time lucky)
... penalty taker's toecap.
Re Harmison
Hey! We won the 3rd Test [against NZ]. That makes me very happy :-)
En-ger-land
And we came second in the Le Mans 24 Hours race at the weekend - a bit more of a success than coming second in the footie (or the rugby....).
Cricket
I was elated by the cricket, shame the footie took the edge off it... Still, in some ways they were similar, very close with England just holding the edge, just one stayed with us and one spectacularly went pear-shaped.
Credit to both teams for doing well against decent / very good opposition, and to the cricketers for not only getting the whitewash but for an excellently entertaining series. Oh, and the chance to hear Blowers cut off halfway through relaying the match situation to talk about buses.
[Blob] Indeed. I retract my insensitive interpretation of the English language.
As my old mucker Mozza once wrote and sang!
I was happy in a drunken haze, but heaven knows I'm Miserable now!!
oops
Changed the words slightly, but you get the gist of what I'm getting at!!!
Widey old chap...........
I think it was something like this I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now and being as how I had to watch the game in france I bloody well am!!!!!
Blowers & Aggers
[Tuj] It was a great test series, capped off by the Mark Richardson v Ashley Giles epic sprint. I like the home series because BBC Radio 4 LW webcasts the match -- I can listen to all of the pigeons and Weapons of Cake Consumption while I'm at work. ;)
A slow-medium aircraft crossing the field of play...
[DrQ] There's such an English charm to it. And yes, I saw that sprint to, superb. What was Richardson wearing!?
Mark Richardson's unique attire
[Tuj] Looks like a mid-70s speed-skating suit.
And all in that lovely colour scheme. Excellent!
"I like speed and I like the thrill of it."
-- George Bush the Elder, 41th President of the United States, after skydiving on his 80th birthday
the timezone change never ceases to amaze me, it is still tonight where i am but for you guys it is already tomorow morning. where can i pick up a copy of the rule book? is it legal to play the biscut game if i have never had a true cup of tea(just that american stuff)?
cookies
[Snagandorf] Play away old thing! But just remember you won't be able to dunk.
i did once buy fifty packets of earl grey for a dollar, i put one directly in my mouth and sucked on it for half an hour, does this count as tea or did i stain my teeth for nothing? it may take an extra turn but i can still envoke the mighty coffie dunk of java. i just turned twenty one, i have only began to confront those wh call me kid, i refuse to be called old thing!
I'm not 19 till August and I love being called old thing! :) Makes one feel silly (in the dash good way), what.
Felicitous ageism
A common facetious greeting in the pub among men of my age (61) is "Good evening, young man". More, I say, more.
hahahaha(cough)
[Rosie]Nights out with you must be a scream! ;)
I remember reading in Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd that Gabriel Oak was (quote from memory warning) "of that age when people begin to stop prefixing 'man' with 'young'" - and he's then revealed to be 29. Ever since, I have thought of 29 as the age when one stops being young. That means I have nine months of youth left.
Auld
[BM] People will still call you "young man" but they'll do it to humour you.
Senility
(Boolbar) You're right; that's why we oldies do it, to take the piss out of each other.
Age
For some reason, I think of 50 as the boundary. I can see it in the distance, like a barricade across the road, rapidly getting closer.
young man is fine,but i work as a cart pusher at walmart(a job usualy reserved for those under age 18), and i get called "hey kid". when i tell my coworkers how old i am they are supprised(apparently i look quite young for my age).
has anyone tried to play chess by mornington crescent rules?
that way madness lies
[Snagandorf]Yes, and you can still hear their pitiful screams on dark winter nights..
Ageing
(All) The one difference you will all notice is that between the ages of 50 and 55 (or thereabouts) you will lose the ability to change the focus of your eyes. Regarding your eye as a camera, you could say that the lens is still quite clear and forms sharp images, the film is more-or-less as good as it was, but the focussing mechanism will seize up and there is nothing whatsoever you can do about it except get reading glasses.
presbyopia is da word for it
[Rosie] You're lucky if you noticed it that late... most people do in their 40s, though it depends on what they do, and how long their arms are :-)
roasting
It's at least 43°C, dusty outside and dry as a bone... I think I'm starting to look forward to my holiday...
Presbyopic adaptation
(flerdle) My knuckles graze the floor. This of course is why I play the trombone. Where are you, for it to be 43°C? Not Oz, at this time of the year, surely? A pleasant 18°C here. Sun in and out. Light breeze. Very British.
ook
Oman.
*sighs*
Moved out of my first-year flat today. That means I'm not a Fresher any more....time to start intimidating smaller people. At last! My time has come!
Fresh faces
I thought one was only a Fresher for about the first two weeks of first year... But I must say, I think Freshers' Week is wasted on the Freshers - much better in subsequent years.
age
You're old if you're old compared to your friends, and young if not, I think. (My friends range from 11 to 60+, and I'm nearly 29, so I get to feel young and old - and I spend my time either enviously wishing I was older in terms of experience and knowledge or younger in body).
[ZK] Make the most of it. Before you know it you'll be a miserable embittered Finalist, and then that's it. However, if you survive as a Finalist, you may have the option to become a Postgrad, which is best of all because you have less pressure, less work, more spare time and a real superiority complex. That's my experience anyway...
Wisdom
[Projoy] Having recently discussed with three of my closest mates (all of us are 40ish to 50ish) what we would do differently if we had our time over again, the answer was unanimous, unambiguous and immediate : shag more girls while we had the chance - by being (a) bolder, (b) unconcerned about rejection and (c) less fussy. (Substitute as necessary for your gender and sexual orientation) - That's the best advice our collective 200-odd years can come up with.
small comfort
[Blob] Would you and your friends please broadcast that at every opportunity? Especially the bit about being less fussy? Many thanks.
shy
[Blob] Not being bold, concerned about rejection and being fussy. I remember my 20s well. Can't say much will have changed since though.
[pen] Unfortunately the word was girls, not women...
Freakout
As someone who's never ever ever been a hit with the ladies, there's probably no one on this planet less fussy than me. However, if anyone here breathes the words, "beggars can't be choosers," they'll get a slap for preaching to the choir. Sadly. 'Tis a lonely life I lead.
[JLE] I would hazard a guess that Blob's advice also applies to those over 30 who haven't got lucky yet. Besides... there's nothing wrong with a younger man.
Freakout
You should tell that to the ladies I've had a liking for on occasion, penelope. Speaking for myself, I've been quite keen on ladies a couple of years older than myself, but tended to be rebuffed because I was too young, and they were without exception always partial to older men.
Well, I'm still trying to find someone, but I've come to the conclusion I'm going about this all wrong. It's so much easier for fish. So, from now on, I'll only date women who live underwater.
... much later
I must have done something right for a change. Yesterday I received payment for some work I have been undertaking for the last few months. No, not a lot of money, but enough to splurge on a meal out for my ever forgiving wife (and save me doing the washing up!) So we headed down to the local club and spent a few moments moaning and groaning over the extortionate prices being levied for the meals and eventually plumped for the special of the day - meaning, of course, the cheapest. On joining the queue for service and having finally managed to get within a couple of yards of the ordering station my good wife (bless her little cotton socks) noticed a sign twirling in the airconditioner's breeze. It proclaimed 'Two for the Price of One', or similar. Needless to say we had a rather rapid conflab and finished up with a wonderful chicken dish (her) and a rather good rump steak (me) both with all the trimmings. So an hour or so later we had eaten, drunk (she a lemon squash, me a schooner - that's 15 fl oz - of lager) and returned home sated. The moral, of course, is get yourself a wife/husband and, who knows, in thirty three years time you too may experience such fortune.
[Dujon] If it's late by the time I get home from work then it is always a pleasure to find that between my pockets and my wife's purse we can scrape enough pound coins together to raid the local chippy. [age and fancies] I've always found the most attractive women are around the same age as me, so in thirty years time I'll be gazing whistfully at OAPs.
. . . Oh, and I might have learnt to spell by then. Have a free 'h' on me!
musings
[Duj & Bool] 'Tis remarkable that food - whether it be the eating of, the cooking of, the shopping together for, or the spontaneous 'grab a takeaway because we can't be arsed to cook' type, just has to be one of the most joyously satisfactory elements of being in a meaningful relationship.
As for age differences ... my late husband was a couple of years older than me; my erstwhile partner was 18 years older ; my current partner is 8 years younger. No discernible pattern. Apart from the fact that they were/are all Librans and of Celtic persuasion.
[Blob] wisdom - so it's true what they say then? We only ever regret the things that we DON'T do. Hmm ... glad I got stuck in then ... :-)
mused
BTW my little pearl of wisdom above was mostly a wistful glance back to our youth. I'm happily married and two out of the other three in the aforementioned quartet are in long-term relationships. So the advice is really directed at the Young1 Free2 & Single3 amongst you.

1 Young at heart.
2 Or any price really.
3 Or as your conscience allows !

bold advice
Thank you Blob for that pearl of wisdom. I shall bow to my elders and betters on this occasion and head to Battersea tonight to watch Germany Vs Czech with my colleague Miguel from Portugal, who has revealed to me that his strategy for watching EURO 2004 matches is find a punb where there will be as many of the nationality actually playing. So tonight I am hoping for lots of German or Czech girls. I don't seem to have had much luck recently, and this I put down to a couple of factors
a. I seem to predominatly go out to the pub next to work, so hang out with work colleagues, many of whom are female, which lessens the chances of being in a position to chat someone up/be chatted up.
b. weekends I have been going home to see my mum (and until recently, dad). Again....
c. Most of my friends seem to be either married or in relationships or FREEZE up around girls.
d. No-one seems to help out really. By this I mean that if I have a single male friend and a single female friend that meet I will stir it a bit to see if anything happens - sometimes it does. No-one seems to do this back.
e. I am fat, ugly, loud, irritating and have lousy personal hygiene.
Lonely bleedin' hearts
Oh dear - there DO seem to be far too many singletons in the Morniverse ... *dons cupid wings*
Bah, humbug!
Consolations of the single life:
  • The TV remote is where you put it.
  • If you have not finished the marmalade, there is still some marmalade left.
  • You go to films because you want to see them.
  • If you burn a meal, you just get a takeaway instead.
Toast
[Raak] Point 4 works for couples as well, unless the words "Can you just keep an eye on . . ." were uttered prior to the burning.
marmalade
[Raak] And Point 3 applies only as a benefit if the marmalade is still in good condition. If it is old and clinging to the sides of the jar as only the last desperate dregs of marmalade can, and you are reluictant to buy fresh, new marmalade until the old one is finished, then having someone finish the marmalade for you is a good excuse to go out and buy a new one. Does anyone want to come over and finish off my marmalade?
[pen] You only go and see films when your marmalade is in good condition?

Oh, I'm back from a wee break in Wales, btw, off to Cornwall on Friday...

[pen] Ah, what a romantic come-on...
Freakout
I second that. A woman who invites you round for marmalade is clearly far more kinky than a woman who invites you round for coffee. I never get invited round for any marmalade. Either nobody finds me appealing, or I've never met a woman with a toaster. Either way, it's a crap life really, and I feel certain that I shall spent it lonely, unloved, and cursed with a rumbling stomach.

In addition I personally don't believe any of this twaddle about advantages to being single. If there were any, people wouldn't go on the pull and get paired off. There are of course advantages to not sticking your head in a blender, which is why very few people go and try the alternative, but not having a partner/spouse? I find it impossible to believe there are advantages to such a cursed life...with one notable exception. As a single man with no woman in my life, I can proudly say that NO ONE within the four walls of my flat has ever uttered the words "Leonardo" and "Di Caprio" in the same sentence. It is for this reason that I can also proudly say that within the four walls of my flat No ONE has ever been murdered and had her body dumped the rubbish tip less than a mile from these premises. How many married men can say that? Not many.
cat burglar
***breaks into Thrax's flat.***

Have you seen any of Leonardo DiCaprio's films? He's fugly, but I still intend to get Total Eclipse just to see him shagging David Thewlis as Rimbaud.

Thew listen
[snorg] Bit dangerous ! He'll turn into a werewolf !
oops
just realised I posted to MCiOS a follow up to a conversation goi g on in here. Very confusing.
Freakout
The three of you are clearly bonkers.

St d, any chance of a "copy-and-past" so we may learn of your wisdom here?

snorgs, help yerself on the breaking in front, I'm always welcome of a bit o' company, especially the feline variety. I used to have a cat named Dudley. He could talk you know... but he got run over. I miss him greatly.

Blob, heh, not so much a werewolf, but at university my friends often said I reminded tham of Dracula. To this day I refuse to allow garlic in my presence.
Horriday
I'm off on holiday again tomorrow. Whee.
oooh... I have to wait two weeks. Hmph.
leaving
Joining in the holiday rush. I have the day off tomorrow to go to the Goodwood Festival of Speed. The two hour journey has put me off before, but with free tickets from the Sunday Times, I'm looking forward to it like a big kid.
Goodiewoodie
I'll be there on Saturday, free tickets courtesy of work. My digital camera will be on official duties, but I won't. :o)
digital camera
Cany anyone suggest a decent digital camera for about £100 - £130? My eye has been caught by the DV5000 as a fun gadget. Any opinions?
Football
Bollocks. And that's all I have to say on the subject. Unless
a) my opinion is required or
b) my opinion is not required, but I get fed up with moaning to the rest of my friends and give it anyway.

So, age. Interesting thing. I don't always see it as a barrier, but I don't think I have a pattern...obviously when I was twelve I loved 26-year-olds because they were better looking than twelve-year-olds and had less scary voices and fewer spots. I have been known to have a penchant for an older man since but currently the objects of my affection range from 4 years younger to 28 years older (can you say worrying? Unless you're Jonathan Ross or Catherine Zeta-Jones, I imagine you can) so I reckon age doesn't enter into it. Of course this all means nothing, as I'm not part of a couple either, although because of that I can watch Euro 2004 in the comfort of my own home as opposed to in the pub (and I can bring my own snacks. Hooray! :) )
Did any of that make sense to anyone else? If not, ignore it, and normal service will be resumed shortly.
DV5000
[snorgle] I started thinking "wow!", but on reading the spec, it's a 3.1MP stills camera (I don't know where they get 4.1MP from when the spec further down says 3.1) plus a crap videocam, in the same size package as my 3.2MP stills camera plus crap videocam (a Sony Cybershot DSC-P32). Mine was just under £200 a bit more than a year ago, so £130 for the same spec now is probably about right. The only difference is that mine's built to look like a camera, which it is, and the DV5000 is built to look like a videocam, which it isn't. A real videocam would have a video output socket and give at least television quality images. The spec mentions an AV cable, but only talks of recording video to the memory card, not streaming it out to a computer or DV recorder.
football
ZK] I would like to read your opinion. What a great match though. Fantastic stuff......Also I reckon I fit nicely into your -4 to +28 group, somewheer in the middle, and have reverted to my imagining of you as a stunningly attractive girl. Ain't life grand ?
I am currently discovering that another advantage of being single is that holidays cost half as much. If, by contrast, your other half is in teaching and you are therefore able to go away only in August, they cost about 500 times as much.

Regular readers of my posts, and surely there can't be many, will be astounded to learn that last night, because there was nothing better to watch, I actually turned the football on whilst having dinner and quite enjoyed it. This may be because working in news means I am familiar with the names of almost all the players in at least one of the teams playing in that match. Plus, of course, one of them has the same psychiatric disorder as me, so I approve of him. Still, as I watched, I found a strange desire coming over me to drink large amounts of alcohol, sit with my legs very wide apart, look at pictures of young ladies without much on and perform noxious evacuations in the company of others with an expression of pride. Testosterone - too much testorerone!
Breadmaster
*cue eerie lighting effect and modulated voice*
Ahhhh... he's one of us, now...
Psychiatric Problem
BM] Are you too afflicted by Canttakeapenaltytosavemylifeitis? Re holidays though, have you not been confronted with the "single supplement" yet then ? Also you are factoring in teh idea that you have to pay for two peopl, rather than having two people pay for it....
x4
Holidays ! Wait till you have kids ! Forced to go during School Holidays (they even bump up the prices for Half Term, the bastards) - me, wifey, two kids = 4 flights. Plus the small people want a constant supply of things. And you have to go to family-friendly restaurants (o.k. this is getting better as they get older). So yes, don't complain about your "single supplement" make the most of it while you're single - or find a friend to go with you.
singlesuppleness
Ah, the single supplement thing... blind fury at being charged around 30 per cent extra for having the audacity to not be part of a couple is what forced me to try National Trust working holidays, which was one of the best decisions I ever made. Luckily I have a flatmate prepared to travel with me now, but when everyone is already coupled up and with an allergy to 'organised tours', I was left without a lot of options. So I holidayed, but I didn't travel much, which I still regret.
Hmm, not to sure how my holidays compare to other peoples. I tend to just hope work will send me to somewhere nice, and I try to blag some extra days on account of crippling jet lag, severe cramp, dehydration, headaches, and mental stress from the fact I'm terrified of flying.
holidays
All of the above
Just call me Ms T-shirt
[st d] Reverted? Was there ever any doubt? :) [Blob] Feel for my dad, he has 4....and works for the NHS.
little blessings
[Blob] Just the two litle acessories to take on hols! try three at (13, 9 and 3), mind you I am one of five, two boys and three girls. Holidays were fun; mostly.

Goody for Goodwood, wonderful, excellent; I enjoyed the whole day, like a kid in sweet shop, cars, cars, cars and ....even more cars.

[Blob] Did you say 'flights'? Presumably you don't go to Blackpool, Brighton or Margate then!
Whilst on the subject of holidays, are there still such things as camping coaches? I think that's what they were called. They're the railway carriages converted to accommodation and parked (permanently, I assume) in various areas. It's just that I have fond memories of staying in such as a child - although my parents might not agree with that evaluation - in places such as Arthog and Sandsend.
[Inkspot] Goodwood, cars - I envy you, sir.
Clarification
If I remember correctly the carriages were actually on railway lines with a full connection to the rail network but the rails surely did not look as though they had been used of late - hence my term 'permanently'.
hello all, a quick post from st petersburg, [ZK] the football was shocking, we watched on TV at one in the morning here and it was mightily depressing - as all the russians in the bar were cheering for england. bless. will post again soon. nights.
[has broken the furcation game]
all hail
[MF] So that's what you've been up to all this time!
Bravo, good sir, and extra kudos for managing to slip in a touch of nipple creep :-)
The full move can be viewed in its correctly-formatted glory here (also including the Hypearthquakes move and a lengthy Rice/Lloyd Webber/Elton John pastiche which probably did for the game)
goodiewoodiepostmortem
Yeah - it was OK - I took lots of pictures of funny faces and situations in the crowds, slightly fewer of the cars - there were just so many of them. I'm probably not the world's most fanatical car-spotter. However, I did have my picture taken with Renault's F1 driver Franck Montagny, who had his arm around me LIKE HE MEANT IT, as part of the digital-camera-loan deal with my young French trainee who was chaperoning him for the afternoon, Mwahahaah! :o)
oh, and it rained a bit, but not enough to spoil things, just enough to wet the Hill Climb course ;o)
Furcations
Well Martha, you've really Farquared that one up haven't you? Shame, it was a good move!
[MF] I go on holiday and this is what happens. I'll take my Acme HTML deodorizer to it later...
Deodorized
[Re Furcation Game] It turns out Martha's gigantic move was too big for the STEAM-powered technologies driving this site; hence I'm afraid I've taken the liberty of splitting the move up into two parts. I had to tidy up some of the HTML - the game moves should be unaffected, but do let me know if anything went awry in the rehashing.
*grin of satisfaction*
Thanks rab! Strange I got it through the HTML checker first, though (and muchos kudos for that groovy little dingus, too, without which it'd still be lounging unloved and unread in a... oh, hang on...)
goodwood
[Pen and Ink] Looks like we could have had a mini pilg as I was @ Goodwood too with my 16 year old and my 3 year old!
Grimace
[MF] If you are interested, which you probably aren't, the database that sits behind this truncates posts when they hit some, at the time it was designed, apparantly unreasonable length. I guess you exceeded that :) I should find out what the limit is and put in a warning. Glad you like the HTML debugging tool...
off to Scotland!
*boogies* I just got cast in the Edinburgh Fringe for August! This is a serious coup d'état for me! *boogies more* Finally - an audition passed (not merely given) and exciting prospects! All I need to do is learn to be an eight-year-old within a month (which may involve disguising a couple of things!)...which I'm sure I can do with study. After all, I was only eight ten years ago.....
Go me! :)
more casting couch
[ZK]Good luck in Edinburgh. I may be able to help you out with the mind set of 8 year old boys, basically; girls are yeuch!!! ;)

[plump] I'm sure penelope could arrange for some wonderful reasonably priced dicounted hospitality.

Congratulations to DrQuuxum for reaching No1 on Celebrity Mronington Crescent, sadly down to 13 following the departure of evil_edna. JJ's dividends and returns have become a very useful tool in taking the guessing out of who to invest in next. Even if Mr. Rooney was a teensy weensy bit obvious last week.

evil_edna
[INkspot] I've resurrected edna's account and will post the reference number here soon to be re-included in the league, if that's OK with all of you lot. I've been well into Tim Henman stocks for a couple of weeks now :o)
[ZK] Well done - I have several friends who have "done Edinburgh" and it sounds a pretty intense experience. Watch out with your references to "a couple of things" though - you'll have St Dogmael getting hot under the collar again...
hot collars
BM] I don't get hot under the collar. I just occasionally will raise an interested eyebrow. Oh what a joy to be a red-blooded male in his prime ! ;o)
He can get plenty hot under the collar, just so long as I don't mention what play I'm actually in (pretty easy as I don't know!) I should be fine! :) *boogies* ah, 'tis a good week, so it would seem!
Hey - good on yer ZK! Hope everything goes really well for you, Edinburgh-wise x
Oh yes, and ta to all for the congrats! :)
Congratters
To my dear friend, and as of yesterday, my maid of honour - ZK, I owe you one!
ooooh...
[AP] I know! Sadly I also owe you and yours about 45 quid, so I guess we're even...unless of course you can do me a similar favour! :)
Fringe benefits
[Zooky] Excellent - what will you be in ? Do you know the venue ?
[Blob] I have no idea! :) I'm still waiting for the script to turn up in the post, which has all the other info in it! I should imagine it's somewhere relatively small, as last time I checked I'm not sure they had very much money. But I don't know. Hoping for something nice! I'll post the details when they turn up :)
[ZK] If it's a côup d'état, does that mean you'll be taking the city by storm? :)
[Projoy] That's the plan! :)
being typically British
The weather here is bloody awful ...*$!*&
Embra
I do have a tendancy to drop in on Edinburgh during August, so maybe I could track the Keeper down :) If not this year, then one of the next three years for sure, as I'll then be living there. But first, I have to go to India. See you next week!
*waves goodbye to rab* again
Inja
[rab] Bring us back an elephant.
*waves to rab as he zooms past*
india
rab] Bring us back a couple of cricket bats and some wicket-keeping gloves...
And Hrithik Roshan!
Hrithik
[Zoological Keeper] Ooh, I'd second that if I were that way inclined. Have you read "Bollywood Boy" by Justine Hardy? Very amusing stuff... I went on a private tour of Film City in Bombay once (VIP that I am, or something) and it really is like that...
[Breadmaster] I haven't, but I will now!
Indiana
[Blob et al] I'll try :) Anyway, must go to bed now, the taxi's calling at 4.30am. Ouch.
Orange peeled
Is anyone else having trouble accessing Orange? I get message 403 Forbidden.
aha!
[Inks] me too - also the Lockisseum [which is on Dunx's server].
retracting
seems to be OK now :-)
Greetings!
Hello, can't say much cos I'm in a busy conference email room and this is perhaps a little frivolous... Anyway, I got here ok (as you can see) and am having an ok time, 75 minute rikshaw journey notwithstanding. I'll look out for an elephant for you.
[rab] Only 75 minutes? You were lucky.
Apropos of nothing...
Just over a week ago, I happened to be driving through Salisbury, and a passed a pub which had a sign proclaiming "A Goldfinch Free House". Are there many infestations of goldfinches in Salisbury?
A moment's pause, please, to remember Arthur "Big Boy" Crudup, who is memorable for a number of reasons, most particularly the following:

(1) He had the silliest name of any blues singer, which is saying something. Except maybe Fird "Snooks" Eaglin.

(2) He learned to play by attaching a single string to a guitar, mastering it, adding a second, and so on until he could play all six at once.

(3) He actually wrote "That's All Right Mama".

Yes, despite Sky News' claim today that it is 50 years since that song was first recorded, old Arthur recorded it in 1946. And when Elvis stole it eight years later, Arthur didn't get a penny in royalties. In fact, he never did. Many years later, his record company finally arranged for him to be paid the unimaginably vast royalties that he was owed for this and a number of other songs that Elvis ripped off. But at the last moment, they pulled out - claiming that they would lose less money if Crudup sued them over it. So he died unrewarded, and I think today is a fitting day to remember the fact!
taking a moment's pause
[BM] such a sad story :-(
That's how you got treated by the American music industry in those days if you were black... Crudup rerecorded "That's All Right" some time later, and he had to suffer the ultimate indignity of putting a composer credit on the label to "Presley"! It doesn't get much worse than that. To be fair, Elvis' version was a lot better than Arthur's, who wrote fantastic songs but was a bit rubbish, really, at least in my opinion. But that's not really the point.
ooh ooh! I got my script! My part's really obnoxious, it's fantastic! :D I play an 8-year-old girl and am called upon to cry, scream, vomit, get drunk, bite etc. If this doesn't stretch me I don't know what will! :) i haven't finished the script yet so I'm still trying to figure out what on earth it's all about, but it's looking good! I only have a month to learn my lines, though...
drunken children
[ZK] Is it Anne of Green Gables?
lynches and finches
hmmm, I dunno - Anne was a ... nice girl, even when squiffy on 'raspberry cordial'. But if we're talking about children who deserve to be garroted at birth ... how about Violet Elizabeth Bott?
[UK] sorry - didn't see your earlier post about the Salisbury GoldFinch Plague. Dreadful stuff. Really scary. Just like the Hitchcock film [I still have the remains of one wrapped around my rear water butt]. Luckily we managed to keep it out of the news, but I fear our lives will never be the same again here in sleepy South Wiltshire ...
[Projoy] Not to the best of my knowledge, unless it's the bizarrest of bizarre adaptations. I finished the script a few minutes ago and it makes very little sense to me! It's "Archer's Goon" - you may have heard of it...My character is called Awful, which I think is absolutely superb.
This one?
[ZK] Here? Sounds rather weird and wonderful if it is!
[ZK] I think that sounds fantastic fun. Any play that contains a character called "Awful" must be pretty good to start with. Sounds to me like it shouldn't take you a month to learn the lines, though - what with all that crying, screaming, vomiting, biting etc. there can't be all that much actual dialogue too...
[Dujon] Yes, that's the book it's from - I've ordered that from Amazon..hoping for some insight I guess :) [Breadmaster] There's a fair lot of lines! Learning starts tomorrow....eep! :)
Lost!
I'm lost- i'm at norwich station and i want to get to MC Help!
Getting to MC
[NH] Try a counter strile at Thetford, then you'll need to use WAGN and six blue podumes via Peterborough I reckon. If the snoods are blonked you may have to side-straddle to Cambridge however.
[Zooky,Chalky] V.E.Bott was who sprang to my mind too. [Zooks] Sounds fun to me.
Ely wheely
[NH] As Blob says, but be wary of hitting the return loop at Ely or else you could end up being shunted to King's Lynn. Also the 'bus replacement rule' could be brought into operation making the Peterborough route costly in terms of LV. Do not stop at Manea, it is a trap.
I have to point everyone to the Hyperlink game over at MCiOS, where we are having enormous fun with a link to a Spartacus gladiators game. Buckle up your greaves and ready your trident - or do you fear the mighty Magister Panus?
New Game
Oo! Game slot!

May I suggest "Conversation Stoppers", as I described elsewhere?

To Rosie
4.5 mm of precipitation since the beginning of June. Sunny - and extraordinarily warm - days continue. Today is cooler (14.5°C as I type at 14:10 local time) although overnight temps have been down to 3° or 4° no frosts have been in evidence here as yet.
[Dunx] Yes!
No 9 bus
Conversation Stoppers, oh yes please.

[Breadmaster]I tried the site but, recieved the message;The page cannot be displayed
There are too many people accessing the Web site at this time.

Graham III as ffiish continues to break and create new records over at Celebdaq Celebrity Mornington Crescent, much kudos to you sire.

I'm glad that bitter and twisted manipulator, Seal Boy has been evicted from the BB House.
Stu is a mummbling self obsessd idiot , (the most intelligent person on BB ever - B***ocks!).
Michelle should leave Stu alone, and be herself she has more to offer as a personality without him, a mismatch for Stu if ever there was one.
Shell you can streak round my garden anytime ;)

And then Aunt Mary broke wind
[Dunx, Raak et al re conversation stoppers] That gets my vote, but it seems the slot has become blocked, sadly.

Oh, hello, by the way. Surviving, just. Have had four days of conference thus far; had a wee excrusion yesterday, saw a couple of temples. I said 108 Hare Krisnas before being 'selected' as one of the lucky people to donate 150 Rupees to the cause. I received a copy of 'The Science of Self-Realisation' in return, which I expect to give me many hours of pleasure amusement.

One more day to go (getting bored with statistical physics now), before a day trip to Mysore and some more Bollywood movies on the way home. Still no elephants, but there are a number of cows wandering around I could try and slip into my luggage instead...

Hare Rama, Hara Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare...

Archer's Goon
There was a TV version of that when I was a kid, starring Roger Lloyd Pack.
[Darren] So I discovered, on research. The last in-house production for CBBC after the bank-breaking Chronicles of Narnia (loved them!) That makes you rather young though, doesn't it?
Having just set up that COnversation Stoppers (sorry for the dodgy ƒ)
Maybe some time we should play Morgenburg Halbmond?
[ZK] Well, I'm 26, if that makes me rather young.
Rather young; by my chronology I'd placed you a few years younger with Archer's Goon. *goes imdb trolling* You were 14 when they made that then. Groovy. I'd have been 7, probably why I don't remember it. I may have even seen it, I don't remember most things I saw fewer times than twice though...
Shell out again...
Inkspot] Were you watching last night?
gloating
[Inky / Celebdaqers] Had a little chuckle when I checked the league just now in view of your comments the other day ...
Quote "Graham III as ffish continues to break and create new records over at Celebdaq Celebrity Mornington Crescent, much kudos to you sire..." Unquote.
Poor ffish has dropped from No 1 to second to last [teehee]. Is this also a record?
[snorgs] Well done. Number one again!
fiendish plan
Congrats to both snorgs, and to you Chalky. I presume it is your own modesty that prevents you saying how you occupy second and third places. I should have followed JJ's Dividends and bought Becki and not gone out on a limb with the Queen.
daqing
Oh, thanks! It was Wayne Rooney wot done it..
My 3rd persona's about to be millionaired! Yippee!
more league tpye stuff
[UK] Are you playing away from home? Is which league is this other persona?
I've been baby sitting an account for someone in the Ratcatchers Guild over at Discworld Minileagues. In all she has the same account in 24 separate Celebdaq Leagues. (Cleddau has been marooned in the Embalmers Guild for the past couple of weeks)
Multiple personalities
[Ink] I've got four accounts in all, which compete in my me-only league called Advanced Schizophrenia Ltd.
daqing along
Hmm. Got my dividend banker wrong. I would have thought that the fact that Serena Williams was mentioned in every broadsheet front page article about that Russian girl would be enough..., but even so [Inkspot] Thanks :)
Oh, and...
and I went from position 1 to position 30 in Lancre Embassy (division 15). Hope I don't get relagated - would have thought I should have been promoted last week.
Serveritude
Rather sudden I know, but I've bought, have built and am currently installing Linux on a server to replace entirely the two machines currently responsible for running angrycake.com. It's very cute, I have to say - a smaller footprint than the laptop I'm tapping this entry into. MC5 will, at some point, be temporarily going away. This will not be immediate; indeed, expect things to remain the way they are for at least another week, and probably a while longer. I'm trying to do things 'right' this time. Which is why I'm installing crucial software on it whilst drunk, obviously.
Drinkies
It's the best time in my opinion, Nik - I find that lateral thinking ability increases in direct proportion to the Alcohol per hour intake.
Dunno why I gave alcohol a capital A! Good luck with the switch by the way.
I can think of a reason, Duj. :-)
Exciting, even to us technoserfs who think that Linux is a Peanuts character. I'm sure you'll warn us of the dates of absence of MC5 when they're known (assuming they are, of course).
Woo! Off to my concert today! *goes to have fun*
Bachus
Hello. I'm back from my travels. I did see two elephants in the end, but a big sign proclaiming "Elephants can be unfriendly to strangers" suggested it wouldn't have been a good idea to bring one back. Sorry. Mind you, given how much notice people took of the "Obey traffic laws" signs posted at intersections, I might have got away with it...
Archer, Dillian, Torquil, Shine, Hathaway, Erskine, Venturus
[ZK] (sorry I missed this discussion before) Archer's Goon is possibly my favourite kids' book of all time. It's superbly crafted and unfolds delightfully. You have a great part, although I'll be interested to see how the adaptors have made it stageable (the task is a bit like creating a stage adaptation of Terry Pratchett). Where will it be on? Details, please, details...
Errrrrr the only details I have are "Edinburgh, Zoo venue 1" (strangely enough :)) It means nothing to me but I'm hoping they'll tell me when I get to Kent! :) Indeed the script is a bugger to learn and I can't make the blasted child sound annoying without whining all the time. At the moment she merely comes off as irritating, and I seem to have lost the ability to scream. I was at a concert last night (in the audience) and was made painfully aware of how quiet I really am. Any good vibes sent my way would be graciously appreciated! :)
Come to think of it, I don't even know who anyone else is playing...
[ZK] Kent ? Edinburgh's not in Kent - in fact it's a long way from Kent. I suggest you head North !!!
Not actually at the Zoo, then...
A moment's trawling finds this. Sadly, I shall be in Scotland in the last week of July. Ah, well.
Reminiscing
One of the games that I miss playing (thinking back to Pants MC) is Liff. We've got a spare game slot - anyone fancy a go?
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwll Llantysiliogogogoch - the sound made before the first fag of the day
[Uncle Korky] Is this what you mean? The Even Deeper Meaning of Liff new definitions using place names. Which way is it played, do you provide your own names and definitions or do players respond to the previous posting?
Liff
Ah...happy memories of the old "Ais Ghyll". Liff was played by providing a definition of the place name set by the previous player, then setting a further place name for the next player to define.
Liff
I'd love a go at Liff again in fact I'm feeling a little chelmsford at the very idea.
Liff
(plump) At least you aren't at Loggerheads (Staffs.) I like the idea of a new game of Liff. You could say I have some Wantage in that respect. (Bigsmith) The spelling is "Ais Gill" though your version may well be the original. Looks plausible. There's nothing there, of course, except an old railway signalbox at the top of a long gradient up from Appleby, and some good mountain scenery. (End anorak display).
Ais Gill
(Rosie) Perfectly right old chap, the old memory is failing me again (plus the fact I have spent some time recently around the Old Dungeon Ghyll in the Lake District!).
Delighted
Lif? 'tis done!
*waves*
For no particular reason.
New Systems
[Nik] Oo, that sounds fun! What kind of box is it?
I've been blogging the process.
Tidy. Need to think about something along those lines myself, since my nominated server machine is (1) relatively old, (2) occasionally failing to boot, and (3) loud (much quieter with a better fan, but still quite noticeable). But that's for some time in the future.
Bye
Well, maybe. The good wife has just left on her second five day break in order enjoy the campus of Kurri-Kurri. I shall now have to do all those things which I hate; like cooking my own meals, feeding the cats, grooming the cats, watering (well!) all her seedlings, doing the washing, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning the windows, making the bed, doing the washing, remembering to do things (and when) ... some women! How inconsiderate can one be?
Ooh!
[Nik] Newer version of MySQL sounds good, means I can hopefully remove some of the workarounds I currently have in place and make a more efficient/robust system.
[Dujon] I'd be tempted to say that you only need to do some of those activities once, just before she comes back. But then I'm a slob ...
Time for a change
On browsers that show link titles, you can now find the time/date of postings by creeping your nipple over the poster's name. Needless to say this is harder to do on Internet Explorer than it is on anything else...
dating
[rab]What is the problem with IE? is it something special you have to do with the script? I had no problem with IE6, the little hand showed the time and date (10.59pm Thu-15-Jul 2004). Perhaps its just the way I grease mt nipples...
[Blob] Rehearsals for a week in Kent. [Watty] Ooh! Thanks for that! Brill.
[Inkspot] Mt Nipples? Where is Mount Nipples? And why does it need greasing?
Ta!
[Brendan] Thank you, sir. I suppose I'd better feed the cats and myself and water the seedlings othewise my inattention might become obvious. The rest has been taken on board - why on Earth I didn't think of that I will never know.   ;-)
Ooh nooh
[Inkspot] Nah, it's just I found with IE on the Mac I had to be much more fastidious with my nipple than on other browsers. Perhaps the PC version is more forgiving.
registering delight
Can I just say how delightful it is to play Codebreakers Crescent? Ay-thang-you
Shonagh Daly
And why not.
registering something
Following my remark last Friday [two up & thanx ZK] may I just say how delightfully chatty it is in here.
Usually.
chat
Well, I've got bugger all to say, really, at the moment.
What's better than the weather? ... boring, sorry.
Still, after our 4.5mm of rain in June, we've had around 14mm this month. Spread over three days. None of this could have found its way into catchment areas, the ground is just too dry. Cool but not cold, overnight temps seemed to have been constantly around the 5°C to 7°C mark, so no frosts on my little castle. Today it's a bit warmer, 14°C as I type; the last three days managed a max of 12°C, which is 'proper' winter weather. What really bothers one is the fact that the coastal areas received significant amounts of precipitation, in the form of rain, but we - and hence the dams - did not.
out of my window
Dujon]The weather here just south of the M4 in Wiltshire, its been changeable, mostly overcast, occassional showers with sunny intervals. So for Tom's third bithday party on Friday, it started cloudy threatening rain, cleared up during the party only to have heavy showers late afternoon.
One of the things Mrs Inkspot does very well for the parties is the cakes, either shaped like a number or in this case on Friday, a chocolate covered train with three candles and cotton wool smoke coming out of the funnel. The cake caused great excitement at the table when after one the candles went out, in relighting it, the cotton wool caught fire ... the children laughed and enjoyed it.
Meanwhile looking out over the metropolis, the sky has turned blue, the sun is out; today is the last day of the summer school term.
out of MY window
I have been watching a seagull's nest for a few weeks, and the chicks growing up. Suddenly, this morning, a flock of seagulls came over and made loads of noise, so when I looked out one chick was being dragged around by his neck! He managed to escape but was dragging his wing. A little later, someone else found it on the ground where it had fallen and put it into a box. We've called the RSPCA but they're taking ages to get here. In any case, I suppose they'll probably just put it down, even though it doesn't seem too badly injured. Oh, and the weather has been lovely and sunny and warm.
Gulls
Seagulls are the most evil creatures I have ever encountered and any form of natural selection that reduces the numbers of these buggers is A Very Good Thing in my opinion.
gulled
It's people's fault for leaving all their rubbish around - I still felt sorry for it being pecked to death. It would probably just be used to feed other baby gulls..
blog
Still at least I don't live next to them - like this guy..
out of my winder
I usually have the blind semi-shut, but out of my window (and a little to the side) is the Grand Union Canal with overhanging trees, flowing greenery under the water and 'peeping' moorhen chicks which have been sounding like a creaking gate for weeks now. I guess they'll soon grow out of it. The water throws that lovely rippling reflection under the eaves of the building. In the midst of this benevolent calm, I'm grappling with organisng photos of a Motor Technician skills competition that they forgot to tell me about until it was almost too late...
Where I'm from there are millions of Herring Gulls and everyone without exception loathes them. Apart from me - I like them. They're big and white and always appear spotlessly clean, as if they've just been through a whites wash on 90C, even if they've actually just been rooting through your rubbish. And they look so nice flying about. I miss them living here in London - just boring little Black-Headed Gulls, which don't even have black heads.
Nope
[snorgle] I sympathise with that chap. We had a nesting pair on our roof once which, apart from other things, made going into the garden a total no-no.
One word
Airgun.
Another word
Alkaseltzer.
one word - euthanasia
RSPCA blokey turned up (very handsome aussie surfer type!) and it's wing was indeed broken. He advised that he'd take it to the vet, but it would be put down, because it's just too expensive to keep all the gull chicks they get in. He did say if it had been older and just sprained it's wing they would have kept it until it healed, but broken wings are just too complicated. It was very cute and fluffy up close!
Hummmmmmm
We get hummingbirds in our garden. We have a feeder hanging off the deck, and these bizarre little birdies buzz up to it, flapping their wings like crazy, and suck all the lovely sugar water up. They just don't look real - they're the closest thing to a CGI bird that I can imagine, because they move so suddenly that they seem to travel from place to place by teleportation. And they make this ultrasonic chirping noise.

Weird things.

Apart from that, the only wildlife I usually see close up is dead squirrels on the road. Very colourful, especially if freshly flattened, but hardly pleasant to run past.

Worse than gulls
I REALLY hate pigeons. They are just parasitic, and fat, and nasty. Apologies to any posters here who happen to be pigeons.
Pigeons
In France, so I'm told, pigeon is regarded as a delicacy, particularly amongst foodies, i.e. most of the French, and not to do so is regarded as almost blasphemous. Hence the following Limérique:

Il y avait un jeune homme de Dijon

qui n'avait que peu de religion

Il dit, "quant à moi,

je deteste tous les trois,

Le Père, Le Fils et le pigeon".

Kazoo-ing
[Dunx] Aren't they fantastic! I don't think we have humming birds in this neck of the woods but we do have honeyeaters. They appear to have similar characteristics. Heaven only knows how fast those little wings beat, but they are nearly invisible such is the rapidity. Their spatial control is unbelievable - as you say - one moment they are there and next moment they are gone and probing their long, thin, curved beaks into a flower a foot or so away. Quite magnificent little beasties.
[penelope} That sounds rather idyllic.
[seagulls] I've always liked the little scavengers; I love the sound of them wheeling around the coast. Then again, I've never had to live with them as I've never had the pleasure of living that close to the sea.
[pigeons] The most rapid method of making a new sculpture look old.
Outbreaks of excessive whiteness.
Can you go blind from watching the BBC1 weather forecast at 10:30pm? I almost did last night. The weather lady was wearing a jacket that wasn't just white, it was whiter than white. So white it made me go "argh!" and throw my hands in front of my eyes. Pearing through my fingers I swear that it was so white it was casting shadows. Surely we should be warned prior to the start of the broadcast that sunglasses should be donned before watching the following weather bulletin. BTW, I've no idea what the weather is going to do today, but it doesn't look too bright.
pigeons
Must be an acquired taste. I tried some, but it was much too strong for my palate. The meat's almost chocolate coloured. Give me some nice crispy duck any day! Speaking of which, staying on a boat on the Broads this year, and woke up at 6am to see a duck staring in through the window!
Broads Minded
[Angus] Last time I was on the Broads, it was surprising if a duck wasn't staring through the window!

On a previous visit, I remember the swans were particularly importunate - they'd see people moving around on the boat, and then come and peck on the hull!

Swans
Well that's another matter! I swear one followed us from Norwich down as far as Beccles - and back again! He knew I was a soft touch unfortunately - I'm a sucker for a pretty face...
The Furcation Game
That slow-moving behemothis about to consume my life again... Before I devote all free time to it, is there anyone out there already concocting a move? Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Guessing
[Tuj] Be my guest...
Sacha
I was saddened to hear this morning that Sacha Distel passed away yesterday. To be honest I hadn't realised that he was 71 nor that he had been ill. Whilst not a fan of his (although some of his 'crooning' was enjoyable) I did appreciate some of his guitar work.
celeb-gloat
woohoo - No. 1 in League! And so easily achieved by leaving my paltry sum on BB5's Ahmed, so he ended up serving some purpose after all.
young whipper snapper
congtrats to x_sugarbabe_x and to Chalky in third place. This follows on from Dujon last week; I'll have to crank up moreteaplease (but about to be kneecapped). Monday will be too late to buy into for James Hewitt who according to JJ's Dividends has a potential of £10 per share!! and at only £2.60.
Shell the manipulative tart has schemed on the wedding night and now Victor has left the House, it should have been Jason out tonight *must remember its just a game*
Blushes
Thanks for the recognition, Inkspot. Congrats to those who, after me sitting in No 1 all week, grabbed a big dividend and pushed me down (way, way down) on the table of achievement. Watch out this week, children!     ;-)
*breaks three-day silence in the chat game with a loud fart*
*sprays air freshener*.
Just popped in to say I've been a bit poorly but now I'm better :-)
Oh! are you alright chicken?
Cooped up
[Michelle] I have just pandered to one of my inner demons, by ringing telephone number 09011 21 44 07 and voting for you to be evicted; a peace of mind for 25p. Its time you were released from the Big Brother House.
Indeed
Yip. She has to go.
last day at work..
Yay! I'm going to try to do NO work at all today, if possible.
shoulder to the wheel
[snorgle] Are you going on hols, or off to greener pastures?
Hummingbirds
I had a dream I was a hummingbird once. Most wonderful dream. I must say though that the expression "flapping their wings like crazy" doesn't really sum up the sight and feel of a hummingbird. It implies effort and although I have only seen them once (in carib..) they looked effortless. Beautiful - and I see what you mean about the CGI....
job
I'm starting a new job on Monday, and I'm on strike for the next couple of days. In fact, this morning a member of staff asked if my friend (who sits by me,and is a smoker) had a lighter, and a blokie said he needed it to set fire to the computer room. We laughed, and she gave him a lighter. 15 mins later and the phones went down. Apparently he was an engineer who needed to do something to the wires. I'm not even logged in now, so I don't really care! Yay!
Apologies for cross-posting: I'm off on my hols, so have fun, and I'll catch up with everyone when I get back on 10/08.
Hey UK - have a great time! I'm off in a couple of weeks. Camping. If it rains we'll be playing a lot of 'Carrot'.
campanology
[Btd] Another good one is 'Beers A-to-Z' although I don't expect the girls will be quite up to speed on that. 'Vegetable A-to-Z' might be a good alternative.
Amusing oneself in the rain
I've always found "Rude Bodypart Euphemism A-to-Z" quite entertaining. All together now - "Arse, Boobs, Crack etc. etc."
Re: Hummingbirds
Hummingbird barney, this morning - one hummer was feeding and buzzing the breakfast table, then another one came along and drove the first one away! High pitched squeaky noises aplenty. Then a few minutes later the first one came back. They look to be male and female of the same species, so we're wondering if driving each other away is hummingbird for "Get your coat love, you've pulled."
kacaknet
hoþgeldiniz
kacaknet@mynet.com
hoþgeldiniz
Astonishment
I am astonished that this play has gone unchallenged for so long...
[kacak] SPONG!!!
aha!
I raise you that SPONG!!! and counter with a vehement and thrusting FNOOOOOOOOONGA!!!
Wabam!
poo
KICKING!
more again
Whilst it is a bit quiet in here this Sunday, break out a tinny and bottoms up to Dujon forhanging onto the top of Celebrity Mornington Crescent for a second consecutive week and keeping blamelewis and DrQ at bay.
A novel way to save the NHS...
Whilst meandering around work today i found this memo, and it made me giggle for hours.... ' Dear Colleagues, As you are aware from the letter recently sent to you from xxxx xxxx Director of Nursing, we propose to discharge all patients to Nursing Homes between 10am and 11am each morning.'..... Discharging all patients is certain to solve every bed crisis!
Is that to be the foundation upon which Labour build up to the new ellection?
Followed by the proposal of regular drenchings to aid the fire service, shooting children to bypass education failures, and then arresting everybody in case they commit crime?
Wishes
[Inkspot] Much as I would like to claim consecutive terms of leadership I think you will find that x-sugarbabe-x gave me the proverbial hiding last week. I'm about to be kneecapped so have done sweet nothing. *sinks to the wooden spoon position*
Correction
This week is 'this week' last week was 'last week'. So, yes (gloats), creamed you lot 'last week' but x-sugarbabe-x (aka Chalky) still gave us all a lesson the previous term.
Sorry I spoke.
Hogging the game
I just heard one of the funniest things that I have heard in my many years as a radio amateur. A gentleman (south of Canada and north of Mexico) whose country of origin shall remain secret was just talking to a local Australian 'ham' and was trying to work out the time difference; he was quite sure that Australia was twenty seven hours ahead of his own time zone.
Shhh
[Dujon] Everyone's asleep.
[Dujon] Excellent stuff! I'm off to a country in the region indicated tomorrow so I hope to return with many amusing tales of foolishness. Almost certainly mine, but there you go.
[Breadmaster] Have a safe trip, sir. I wasn't having a go at American citizens, I talk to many such. As it was latish night at his place at the time I suspect he'd had a hard day and was simply tired - or something. It was still funny though.
chicken licken boiled
[Dujon] You are right, about x-sugarbabe-x. I was slghtly behind with my compiling and jumped a week.

Big Brother; Stu evicted !!! like whoaa, dude! ...that's like .... seriously amaaaazing.

Badgers - out of their misery
It may just be the summer season, but I was surprised that never really got going. I would start a nasty game of Acre Street, as I read that archive recently and oddly felt compelled... But we've got The Furcation Game already, and that needs a good jump start too. As soon as I get a bit of time on my hands why is this the sort of thing I want to waste it on?
And yes
...that was a non sequitur 'cause I'm not a Big Brother fan and I'm too lazy to go Celebdaqing more than half-heartedly!
No Pruning Shears Here
[Tuj] Re: choice of time wasting - because it's fun? I know that's why I keep coming back.
Has there been a game of MC played entirely in Haiku form?
[Boolbar] Not entirely sure, although I once did have a Lock Cup qualifying match against Catherine where all *comments* were to be made in Haiku form, but the move was not included in this (as according to the standard format of separating move from comment, as practiced on PantsMC).
Psycho Haiku
During my last move for The Furcation Move, Furcation O was a new haiku variation. The initial letters of the haiku formed the first line of a new haiku, so "The old writings read / In there ev'ry ancient hai / And its ku under", as well as being a (slightly odd) haiku, forms the first line "To write a haiku" with it's first letters. I can't remember quite why I came up with it, though it does remind of some very difficult limerick game we had once at !York...
Fractal Haiku
It would be very impressive if the new haiku so formed also had the property that its first letters formed the first line of another haiku. And so on.

But shall we play the
game of Mornington Crescent
in haiku form first?

waves goodbye*
See yas all in September :-)
come n sign my guest book pretty please........
Weird commnets will get extra kudos in the next sphere of life or a free cup of tea on Edgware Rd!!! http://www.papalazarus.com/page4.html
cheerios
[Chalky] Have a good hols, this could be the chance I need to get back on top of Celebrity MC *looks down at diary and curses, holiday to France imminent*. Would anyone be able to send me the Friday league web pages for 20 and 27 August? A link will follow tomorrow, but in the meantime congrats to gil (sigmundfreud).
more me again
Barging in with the link as promised, and now back to Kingdom Hospital.
three in a bed
I would normally avoid Haiku. If I break the rules of the format, tap me on the shoulder.
[Inkspot] Surely you mean...

I avoid Haikus.
If I break the format's rules,
tap on my shoulder.

And there you have the same sentiment but in the right number of lines and syllables (5-7-5)...

one or two
It is the syllables I have the problem with. Normally with each player contributing a single line, errors can jar. But by doing all three lines this will be good practice. When I wrote the second line I agonised over Amer-sham and Am-er-sham, coming down on the former, influneced by the move earlier by Dunx where to me I sounded 8 but was accepted as 7
With(1) West(2) Ruis(-?)lip(3/4); puts(4/5) me(5/6) in(6/7) spoon(7/8)
I have invited critisism of my play as my da-dee-da-dee-da seems to be a bit la la at times, but I do intend to nail this format; hopefully before the game ends ;)
As some of you know I enjoy football. This little gem appeared on the official web site of the club I follow:

"In excess of 19,000 season tickets have been sold as ******** gear up for their fourth consecutive season in the top flight, which is more than at the same stage last season."

Is this stating the bleeding obvious or am I misreading it?

Sneaking back in...
Just back from a very enjoyable week in North Wales. I'll have to go tidy up my badgers that are still roaming the tunnels...
[Inkspot] Ruislip is TWO syllables, Amersham is THREE. Unless you're going by some definition of "syllable" of which the rest of us are unaware.
19,000 season tickets
Dujon] I read that about four times, but now I get it! The clause beginning 'which' is a bit ambiguous, I suppose.
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] Looking at the 'daq today, it seems that I now have the facility to add members to Celebrity MC. Would you (or anyone else, for that matter) have any objections if I add in my other two personas?
whiching...
[Dujon, Tuj] I read it first time as I think it was intended... but I reckon the problem is that the 'which' is too far removed from the subject to which it refers... so it looks like it refers to the fourth season, but in fact it refers to the 19,000 season tickets.
more!
[Uncle Korky]Please add them to the League, we need to do something about the recent run of good luck by Dujon, you could even be onto a winner with Doris this week. According to JJ's Projected Dividends it will be close between Nadia and Sven on the divi's payout.
En route
[Inkspot] Stand by for appearances by Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs!
Syllabarial Variations
[Inkspot] It might be a pronunciation thing: "Ruislip" is pronounced "rye slip" rather than "roo-ey slip"; "Amersham" is always "Am-er-sham".
seven eighths
So the line does have eight syllable thingys With(1) West(2) Rui(3)slip(4); puts(5) me(6) in(7) spoon(8) and yes fair cop on Amersham, from such a low base, I can only but improve....moving swiftly along; [Uncle Korky]I love the names Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs ;P
They should be with us tomorrow.
Apology
[Inkspot] You're quite right. Sorry.

[Haikuen] Apparently I can't count syllables at all.

Orangeless
As I write this, Orange MC is unavailable while its host server reboots. This would normally be a quick thing, but the host server has been up for a long time prior to this and so it went into an fsck cycle. Should be back soon.
Bouncer on the door
[Uncle Korky] The accounts are yet to appear, if they need some extra persuasion either leave the details here or here: gareth underscore penn athotmaildotcom.
I know the bouncer!
[Inkspot] The particular bouncer is my corporate firewall, which won't let me access Celebdaq between 8.30am and 12.00 midday, and then between 2.00pm and 5.30pm. So, the first chance I'll have to insert 'em is lunchtime today.
recording! ding! ding! ding!
Dear I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue emailing list member, This is to let you know of the first recording date in the Autumn series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue'.
The recording will take place at the Anvil Theatre in Basingstoke on the evening of Sunday 19th September. The doors open at 7pm and the recording starts at 7.30pm Ticket prices are £12.50, £10, £8.50, £7 and £5. The number for the Anvil Theatre's box office is 01256 844244.
You will need to book early as these shows seem to get more popular with every passing year. However, if you are unlucky or Basingstoke is too far for you to travel, we do have two other recording dates, one in mid October in the North of England and the other in the South in early December. The venues have not yet been confirmed - we hope to be able to send you details of these in the next couple of weeks.
Me name's not down...
[Inkspot] I tried to add 'em in, but I'm not sure it worked. In case it hasn't, Mavic_Chen is 3402569 and Johnny_McDozenlegs is 3411069. Glad you like the names!
Red carpet
[Uncle Korky] Mavic_Chen and Johnny_McDozenlegs have entered at numbers 10 and 12, respectively. Good luck!
!
Cornwall and campsite here I come!!! See ya all in 2 weeks!
dieng of a trojan
I look up a randomn seach on trojan horse Nex.b virus and this site came up because someone had been talking about it. How did yu get rid of it
Gifts from Greece
[Malkie] That was me from a posting I made in April this year. AVG a free anti virus software found it and deleted it. As a matter of course, the system is automatically updated every two weeks. A full scan is carried every couple of days (which for 12Gb takes about 20 minutes).
Celebdaq
Oof!
[Bob] If the weather's anything like it is in Manchester at the moment you're going to have a soggy time! I'm sure the kids will love it.
Notlob
[Dujon] Congratulations, another fine win.
I see the Premiership starts tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that you have a better start to the season this year against Charlton than last years 4-0 drubbing by Man Utd.
We're in!
[Inkspot] Cheers!
Arrivaderci
Inkspot] Pah, Some of us started last week, in the "Coca-Cola Championship". Playing Derby tomorrow, the glamour...
In other news, I'm orf to Italy for a fortnight. Take care all, have fun.
[Inkspot] 1) Ta! 2) So do I. :-(
[Tuj] Good luck, safe travel. I hope the weather's good to you.
1 - 4
I must be a glutton for punishment. I have just signed up to Sportsdaq. Very similar to our old friend Celebdaq but this time it is sports pages only. First portfolio has to be Micheal Owen amd Micheal Schumacher.
news from the Fringe
Ahh, the joys of internet cafés in Edinburgh! My poor friend/stage manager drove us all the way up to Edinburgh on Friday/yesterday, starting from Kent and overnighting in Birmingham (waking up at 6 when you went to bed at five....fun!) And try parking in Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival! Let's not go into that. Show starts tomorrow (Archer's Goon...wearing my lovely t-shirt as I speak) and hopefully it should be good, cos on the last rehearsal day (Friday...arrived in Kent previous Friday for a week of intensive rehearsal...and I mean intensive....it was my birthday last Thursday [thanks for my greetings Angus! :)] and the celebrations went out of the window because we were working all day until we finished our run through at about 1 in the morning) our director said....right....we run over by about an hour and a half...and slashed all the bits out of the play they felt were unnecessary and got it down to about an hour and 30 from 2 hours 45! I now affectionately refer to it as Archer's Goon on acid. It's still really good though. If you can come and see it, please do! Money running out...bip...bip....bip...
Archer
[Zk] Wish I could be there to cheer you on, and I would definitely have enjoyed the show, but sadly, too many hundreds of miles away. Break lots of legs (well, as many as are available)! And let me know if you tour it in the SE.
[Inkspot] Whilst I expect to do poorly I've signed up on Sportsdaq. If you are going to run a league feel free to add me; details are as for Celebdaq.
daqing
I've gotten quite bored with the daq - mind you, I'm much busier in my new job - just starting my 3rd week! The only reason I'm here now is because my line manager and several other team members are off today, and I don't really have anything to do until a meeting at 1pm.
Embra
[ZK] Good luck, and good job I didn't try hunting your show down when I was in Edinburgh last weekend (officially the first proper day of the Fringe). I should be in situ for the whole three weeks next year, but I guess that's not much help. Oh, and someone walks past you very quickly with hands in pockets, do not, under any circumstances even attempt to give them a flyer. They're probably a local who's realised they're at the wrong end of the Royal Mile...
... IF someone ...
On me 'ead!
[Inkspot / Dujon] I've succumbed too... if there's no mini-league yet, I'd be happy to start one (although I'm not sure how to produce those snazzy weekly speadsheets, etc...).
C in C
[UK] Fine by me. I'd volunteer but I already spend too much time on this infernal machine; I run my own (basic) football site and co-manage a couple of others related to installation and maintenance a particular type of 'forum' site software.
Golden gongs for Aussies
[Dujon/Uncle Korky] Although I have created a mini-league I am going to see how things pan out, to see how well it keeps my interest (the id numbers are different to Celebdaq, for Sportsdaq it is 358). Celebdaq can be hard enough to sustain, with the constant round of kneecapping. But I did have a £5,000 bonus today for backing the winner of the Grand Prix which gave a little sparkle to the game, but had not a clue as to where to reinvest the money. I have my fingers crossed that the comprhensive coverage in the broadsheets will counter the football (ie the big four) obsession of the tabloids. Even if Britain were to win gold tomorrow it would be overshadowed by the ManU/Chesea rumour mill.
I gave a small cheer fo Austrailia this evening after Ian Thorpe beat Pieter van den Hoogenband claim gold in the 200m freestyle final. This is because I have been fed up with Sue Barker et al beating the drum for the American Michael Phelps and his attempt at 8 golds, and ignoring Thorpe. How will they square the circle now?
Also some of the mens gymnastics, I find it incredible what those guys do on the rings, parallel bars and other parts of the rotation.
This will be the last League for two weeks (would you be able to send the the Friday results on to me "Tools - Mail and News - Send Page")

[snorgle]Although the new job is busier, good luck, does this mean you are no longer a public servant?

Strylan limpians
Ruddy 'eck, Inkspot. You reckon Sue Barker's a bit one-eyed! You should see (though best you don't) the press down here. If you thought David Beckham's foot got too much coverage you ought to see what's been happening here regarding Jana Pittman's (sp?) knee! Fair dinkum. A young lass in the Aussie gymnastic team had to come home because of a calf tear and the only coverage I saw was a short mention that she was back in Oz! I suppose they - the press - had to find a replacement for Cathy Freeman. *sighs* As you have undoubtedly noticed Australia is extremely weak in what is termed 'Track and Field'. In fact they are hopeless - at least in the greater scheme of things.

How would you like the Celebdaq chart captured? I can easily just save the whole kit and caboodle via the 'view source' or any part of it I suppose. An image is a bit big. Let me know and it shall be done. The only other question is when? I am usually around the computer just as the dividends are distributed - is that what you're after?
Hrmph!
Right, I've just read your posting. Now I only need the timing and where to send it. I'm assuming it's gareth_penn (insert an at symbol) supanet dot charlie oscar mike.
what sports?
[Inkspot] I appear to have watched the same series of events you did, albeit commentated in French, which was both odd and a relief (see Dujon's comment). The vaulting 'horse' appears to have mutated since a couple of years ago. Weird shape.
Merkin Commentary
[Phelpsness] Golly, if you think Sue Barker's bad, try watching NBC! Ghastly. It's like there are no other athletes except Americans in the races. And watching the gymnastics last night, the only team that got decent coverage was the US. Fair enough up to a point given that the Americans were in with a shout, but they showed hardly any of the winning Japanese until the last bit where the Japanese actually secured their victory.

Is the BBC any better? Well no, not as far as mindless jingoism goes, but at least they aren't filling half their broadcast time with adverts so there is more space to show other competitors.

Question: is the BBC showing any fencing? I was hoping to see some of it, but it's only on cable here which we do not have, and there is no streaming video to speak of here either.

serving the public
[Inkspot] I'm still a civil(ish) servant - now working in the WAG - Welsh Assembly Government. I'm in a Programme Management Office - and am also managing risk. ***shrugs***
[snorgle] Don't let my father here you say you work for the Welsh Assembly, I will occassionally when we visit; it's light the blue touch paper and watch the fireworks. Last weekend I did it with hospital waiting lists and the new debating chamber.
[Dunx] They only showed the fencing during the morning update, but very much blink and you miss it. They did include an interview with the coach and the unfortunate woman who lost in the sabre.
Today they have shown the rowing and cross country horse riding. This evening being given over to the womens gymnastics; I managed to catch up on the ironing while watching CSI and CSI:Miami. Has the beach volleyball been on yet?
[Dujon] Yes that's me, please send them anytime on Friday after the div's have been paid. I will do the tables whe I return. Much appreciated.
[Inkspot] It shall be done.
WAG
(snorgle) My niece works for the Wales Rural Observatory Project, whose data apparently lands up in the WAG. She showed me her Master's and PhD theses; I couldn't understand a word, mainly because of the jargon. I couldn't say anything of course, because she's fond of her Uncle T, as I am of her. :-)
WROP
What an intriguing name. Do they sit on top of Mt.Snowdon watching Mrs.Trellis through a telescope?
WROP - CAMREC
I wonder if there are any links between the two? Could she have stumbled upon an insidious plot to subvert this doyenne of MC through devolutionary subterfuge? Or are these just the ramblings of a demented conspiracy theorist?
Surveillance
[Dujon] No sign of Mrs Trellis from the summit of Snowdon, as my photo's from Monday 02/08 testify...
61 going on 16
I'm in a state of shock! Last night my Mum revealed that she's going speed dating tonight! At first I thought she was trying to come out to me (and that would have been even more of a shock) but then it became apparant that she's going to meet lots of men! I didn't realise that speed dating had reached sleepy Shropshire, and nor did I know that there were special night for the over 50s. Anyone out there been speed dating?......
skimpy Speedos
[Lib[ I'd be interested to know how she gets on... I'm considering it myself!
[Lib] Yes - my brother!
WROP
(Dujon, LotUS, Uncle K) It's a sociological and economic survey. As for Mrs Trellis, I would have thought she lived in somewhere like Llandudno or Colwyn Bay, rather than out in the country.
Pete Strange
Humph's trombonist and arranger, Pete Strange, has died aged 65. I knew him a little. He was a tubby aimiable boozy little fellow and a very good player. There's a big obituary in today's Grauniad.
It's a bit moist out.
Trellis
[Rosie] As I mentioned on Orange when I got back from holiday, I did observe Trellis in the village of Corris.
Fenced
[Inkspot] Yes, there was a very brief bit of fencing on last night, which I assume they showed because an American won gold in it. It was nice to see, actually, although I would have liked to have the whole bout rather than the edited highlights (I mean, each point only takes a few seconds - could they not have spared a couple of minutes more?) if only because then I could have figured out the science fiction costumes a bit better. But, slight point of pride here: the winner comes from Beaverton, OR just down the road from where we live.

There's been beach volleyball on, although curiously only the women.

Mrs Trellis
(Uncle K) Surely actually seeing Mrs Trellis is the equivalent of unearthing the MC Rulebook.
Strange Pete
rosie] I hope you have played a few slow new orleans funereal bars in his honour ?
Pete
I was amazed recently to learn that Humph is generally credited with the first ever British blues record (Bad Penny Blues) - although as I type this it suddenly occurs to me that I'm sure I know of a British cover of My Man Of War from the early 1940s, so perhaps it's not an entirely accurate credit. But it was great. I suspect that Pete would have been too young to have played on it, though.
Pete's age
Yup, if he died this week aged 65, then in the 40s he was only just old enough to smoke ;o)
Not so fast
[pen] The speed dating has stalled, postponed till next week. [rab] So, how did your brother get on?
Strange Pete
(st d) He had a female friend, a singer, (not a girlfriend) who gave him a lift to the pub where he played in Carshalton every now and then. She always called him Strange Pete but it was friendly. He didn't play New Orleans style, more of a mainstream player. He was always very friendly and slightly tipsy, enough so after one gig to let me have a little tootle on his brand new horn, of which he was very proud. With an instrument like that I could be quite good. Mm . . maybe. I'll miss his cheerful face, to say nothing of his playing.
boom-tish.
Rosie] are you telling me you blew his horn ?!? (oblig.)
ow.
[st d]Thank you for that disturbing mental image. thpppppppttt!!!
fenced in
[Dunx] there was a lot of fencing shown here on French TV earlier in the week (sorry, have been too busy to say till now). The French were doing well in a couple of events at the time, funnily enough.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hmm, quiet in here, innit? Has anyone else read A Gathering Light? I just started it as I'm supposed to be going to a book club on Wed. I actually have found it somewhat annoying so far, but I've only read a couple of chapters. Hopefully it gets better.
Why is it I have a cold any time I come back from anywhere interesting? Foreign germs I guess...or maybe because it rained in Rome and Edinburgh only when I chose to step outside the door....well, either way it sucks! :( Reviews for our show were initially shocking! But then, they went on the first night, and going by the standards of the first night I personally think they were being very kind. (No tech & no dress rehearsals in-venue, the in-house techies buggered up all the lighting & sound, which is sort of integral really, and everyone else forgot their lines. We had to cut bits as we went along because we were so behind time - I'm not surprised they didn't like or follow it cos I couldn't either and I was on stage!) But as of Tuesday we were on fire and the people sensible enough to come after that liked us - we had 30 people in on Wednesday, which was our best night by far! Hooray! I think they said we had 120 or something during the week, which by Fringe standards isn't bad, and Fest magazine (http://www.festonline.co.uk/review.php?id=303) gave us 3 stars, which is more than they gave Ed Byrne, and recognised the genius that is my friend Brad. So, as the director's dad said when he was taking all our cast photos...."bugger The Scotsman!" :)
Although, in hindsight, we were in Scotland at the time so I hope not too many people heard us! :)
bravo
sounds like you had a good time all in all ZK. So do you have the festival bug then ?
I can't seem to play any of the games in here at the moment. *whimper*
Festen
Ah, good old Fest. The deputy editor's a friend of mine, so thank your lucky stars ZK you weren't rude about it!

[svitc] Because they're too hard, or technical problems with posting.

D'oh.

I just don't have any inspiration/wit/wisdom, nothing technical.
[small] Fear ye not, I haven't played any of the games for about 2 months. No-one seems to have noticed! :)
[ZK] Do not think yourself ignored - you said where you going, so notice would have been redundant.

Glad you're back though.

How can anything be redundant when it wasn't dundant in the first place?
I must object. I have, on occasion, been dundant. [Dunx] Thankyou, although I just meant that the only game I'd been on in ages was this one, as my humble brain has burn-out and can't cope with the other ones :)
[ZK] Well, not at all a bad notice from Fest, who even note your youth, although whether that's good or bad is perhaps moot. Very good to see you back though.
Wish we were there
Had a postcard from Bob the Dog and family yesterday (who if you remember have gone to Cornwall for a holiday). The postcard had the simple message, "WET!".
"Carrot!"
Clearly monolexemia runs in the family.
[Projoy] When do you want that Dracula vid back btw?
Drac
I have some DVDs in now, so you could swap it for one of those if you like.
Slottage
On the grounds that a new game slot has been left open for days, I've dropped the game limit to 10, which is any case is a nicer number than 11.
10/11
That's a pretty sweeping statement rab. Would you care to back that up or are you just going to go around willy-nilly declaring some numbers to be more nice than others ? I think we should be told. It's a slippery slope you know. First its "oh 10 is nicer than 11" next thing you know its 4am and the police have smashed in your front door and you are in teh back of a lorry with a sack over your head being shouted at in Welsh.......
Re: shouted at in Welsh - I think I just was :)

That said, the number 11 sends shivers down my spin on account of its being the typical size of a group of butch ladies brandishing hard sticks.

rab] and what is wrong with dutch ladies ?
11 game slots? It's ridiculous. It's not even funny.
Numerologically, 11 is a much better number than 10.
... and 11 is the number of TimTams in a packet...
No, 11 may have a certain richness compared to ten, but is horrible as it is nearly 12 but not quite, and 12 is the best number. It is also the number of Apostles left after Judas quit (despite 1 Cor 15:5). And it's a prime number, which is bad. Ten is more satisfying all around.
Yes, but asserting the supremacy of 10 is to glorify the Western decimal system of counting over other, equally valid, numerical systems from other cultures, which have been marginalised by the patriarchal hegemony of the Western attitudes to number, particular the oppressive and unholistic notion of the integer. You might as well stage a Nazi revolution, frankly, as say 10 is good. I favour the number bleen, which in Afro-Sino-Mesoamerican cultures, represents, of course, the number that is blue.
I vote that we
all change to hexadecimal. I like letters.
Why Stop At Sixteen?
Let's use base 36! It would use the entire Latin alphabet, and would have many opf the advantages of base 12 (ie lots of easy to use fractions). And numbers would be shorter to write down, so we would save on ink and paper.
The real reason...
The best bit about base 36 is that I would be 11 again... although, being 25 in hex sounds quite promising too.
Base 60
For superhumans, Heinlein ("Gulf") suggested that base 60 would be suitable. With the 60 digits also doing duty to represent the 60 phonemes of a new language, there would be 216,000 words of just three letters, most of them monosyllabic. With the speed of speech and thought this would make available, effective lifespan would be extended by many times.
All your base..
That sounds exciting - it would certainly make life easier for rappers and poets..
TenTams
[Flerdle] 11 TimTams to a packet? The only packet I ever see has a hole in the cellophane and only 10 in it. BTW, The National TimTam vault is now replenished. They're back in the country.
[Raak] Are there 60 phonemes which the human voice can produce? I thought there were far fewer. (And I wrote a speech synth once, if that gives me any credibility, which I doubt!)
[Darren] Many more than that, if you add up the inventories of all human languages. Of course, you might have to be a superhuman to reliably distinguish them all. English has between 34 and 50, depending on how you count them.
Back to earth
[Raak] ...or in what base... ;)
I just came back from Tuscany today, a land where I was rained upon for about 45 minutes out of 2 weeks... to a land where it's been the wettest August since 1912, I heard. Ah, good old Blighty.
On another note, I see there are less games available now - is this an EU law, or a gesture against empathy?
grrrr....
[Tuj] I don't know that they are less, but there are certainly fewer of them :-)
Less fewers
Watty] I am a pedant myself, and it doesn't really bother me about less or fewer. Now I look at it, it's slightly ugly... but what makes me reach for the chainsaw is comma splicing (nnng!).
On a lighter note, why are there fewer? If people come up with more games, or ones with prizes / cash incentives, can there be more (or manyer?;) again?
Oh, and no I don't actually have a chainsaw.
[Tuj] How about a hedge trimmer?

What it comes down to is that "less" applies to continuous quantities, where "fewer" applies to discrete quantities. So you have less water but fewer glasses. "More" applies to both, just because English is such a wonderfully rich and evocative language (which is more agreeable than saying it is an inconsistent mongrel of a language).

Less bollocks - fewer bollocks
(Dunx) Dead right; you tell 'em. (the second phrase should be delivered in an aggressive N. Ireland accent). There are other pairs of words that have this distinction, eg "so much" and "so many". So much bollocks (speech by Blair), or so many bollocks (field full of bulls).
*sniggers and tries to imagine what Tuj would look like in motorbike leathers weilding a chainsaw, chased by a herd of curious and galloping bullocks. Struggles to picture Tuj at all, but the galloping bullocks are particularly vivid.*
*Enters arena wearing wet suit and bent tent pole chased by herd of curious and galloping Piskys*

Back from hols and I'm moist. "You'll love camping" I said to NotmrsBobthedog. "The weather is always good in Cornwall this time of year". As we dismantled the tent in a gale with rain heavier than I've ever ever seen it I reconsidered my enthusiasm for fresh air and natural elements.

Post script
Two days after we returned home I asked Notmrs if she'd like to go camping again next year. She said yes. We are planning to go to Scotland. I wonder if she is seeking revenge?
Sunken Kernow
Btd] You weren't near Boscastle at all, were you...?
Bosrubble
I was about 70 miles from Boscastle (near Lands End) on the day of the flood. Oddly enough that day we had very bright sunshine (the best we had for the whole fortnight). We spent the day on a beach. We have a friend in Sennen Cove who told us that during the day 30 cars and two houses had been washed away in Boscastle - but we didn't know whether to believe him due to the as the Cornish habit of telling tall stories - especially to gullible emmets like us. It was after that day that the weather got worse. It was not all bad but we has the tail end of three hurricanes and at least one gale. We didn't get much sleep.
Free Cornish pasty to whoever spots the superfluous "as the" in the above. Pasty may be slightly damp - no refunds or cash equivalent.
does anyone know " which band claims one of their dads was a pirate?" any help would be greatfully recieved
Bob the dog] Between "the" and "Cornish", in line 4. Do you want to give it to me in person or by post? ;)
pen] Ah yes, for I am a mysterious shady figure... (oh, and I don't have any motorbike leathers actually... there is a hedge trimmer in the shed somewhere though...)
grunt] Nope.
Bullocks] Aaaargh!
grunt
That'll be Frankie Poullain, bass player in The Darkness IIRC. A West Indian pirate, I believe
Can I just pop in briefly to say that comma splicing should be a crime punishable by death? Thank you.
thicko alert
[BM] What is 'comma splicing'? Perhaps I know it as something else. I probably do it all the time but need to know in case I'm about to be punished in a terminal sort of way.
Agreeing with Breadmaster
Comma splicing is the ULTIMATE SIN, whereby two sentences are mashed brutally together using a comma rather than a conjunction. It makes you look illiterate. It really gets on my nerves. For instance, if I'd replaced the full stop between 'illiterate' and 'it' with a comma, that'd be an example. One of the worst cases is the use of 'however' mid-sentence, which is nearly always wrong.
- however -
I do not enjoy the over use of acronyms, capital letters, smileys and most of all - jargon.
Tuj] I tried to write your address on the damp pasty but the pen sank into the waterlogged pastry. Fancy a damp steak and Bic doughy object instead?
Jargon is necessary to keep the riff-raff out. One thing that really gets my goat is getting the subjunctive wrong (eg. "if I was" instead of "if I were"). Midge Ure was particularly annoying in this respect.
[Darren] Midge Ure was just annoying, fullstop. Mawkish lyrics, play-by-numbers melodies and the most god-awful moustache that was ever grown.
[Btd] Sorry if my use of smileys is too familiar for your liking :o).
[Tuj] My business is sentence-mashing, however, I think I'm quite artful at it, I've been doing it for ten years. :oP
[penelope] Well, now you have yet another reason to dislike him.
8@()
Pen] Overuse of smileys ;o). I like the occasional :o) but too many leaves me :o(. In particular I dislike those gif file ones that are commonly used on chat sites. Yuk.
Darren] With your permission I will keep your quote "Jargon is necessary to keep the riff-raff out" in my little book of worldly advice to pass on to my offspring. It'll also come in handy at work - especially when addressing farmers.
Laffing with the Riff-raff :-)
[Darren] Your words did rather leap off the screen. I laughed and assumed you were in jocular mode. However, I must confess to being more intrigued by your pet goat, especially one that tell its subjunctive from its elbow. DO tell us more ...
The All-New Educated Riff-Raff
Btd] You have my address? I think I'll go hide somewhere before I decide whether to take up your offer...
pen] Aaargh! That's it! People do that and it's HORRIBLE!
back track
Midge Ure is annoying, period! As am I! Riff Raff makes a great alternative to Tinsle at Christmas.
MCiOS
Anyone know why MCiOS is unavailable?
No, since it's perfectly available right now from where I'm sitting.
[BtD] Permission granted. [Chalky] Yes, I was joking. My goat is got by many things.
is going on his, summer holidays
I'm off to Cyprus for a fortnight. Hopefully things won't go too pear-shaped while I'm away. Have fun, everybody.
I leave for a week....
*decides not to untangle the backlog and goes to bed*
Oh, I can't handle the backlog after just a couple of days. My computer has just dropped dead again, right in the middle of a long and exceptionally complicated operation involving emailing large numbers of people around the world and begging them to contribute to my book. Now I don't have access to the files where I was so carefully logging whom I had asked to do what. The net result will be, no doubt, that I will have 50 contributors all writing the same article. It could get messy. If you hear of theology gang warfare breaking out in the next couple of months, it's all the fault of my computer.
Get a life!
I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. I must stop playing Kingdom of Loathing. . . . . .
[Boolbar] Was that another subtle advertisement for the game? It's nearly as addictive as Mornington Crescent, isn't it... ;-)
Boolbar, JLE] It is rather good, isn't it?!
backlog
ZooKeeper] I tend to find that if you have been away you might as well give up on reading what everyone has been writing, just scan up a few posts and join in. If anything strikes you as really interesting you can go back and trace it, however this has never happened yet. :¬]
It knids you in the podume. You lose 15LV.
[JLE, UK] Yes it is rather good. Trouble is as the game opens up, the amount of time you can spend on it increases. Now if only someone could write a combination of MC and KOL . . . .
They call it C-SPAN.
Oooooooooooooh
Thanks, rab, Nik, whoever. *sob* I've missed y'all.
It's back - hoorah!
*Lets off fireworks to celebrate reopening*
Well if this doesn't deserve a fresh cup of tea and a choc biscuit or two I don't know what does. Winning the Ryder Cup? Yeah!! make that choccie four biscuits.
yay!
That's better - all games have now been visited.
[Inks] Understatement of the year re: Ryder Cup "I think it's finally been recognised that the Europeans are no longer the underdogs" You gotta laugh :-)
celerations
*throws confetti and smashed champagne all over Mc5*. Anyone for an e-plig tonight? I want to celebrate my free broadband connection!! (but won't be home till about 21.30BST but will defiantly be there after that).
and...
If indeed we needed any additional cause for celebration - Hitch-Hikers 2 is on soon...
Bloing
*posts only to find out what time it is back at home*
Phew!
It's back, I can relax now.
[Bob the Dog] Have you dried off yet?
Boolbar] Yes - just enough to realise that I've missed your Birthday. Many Happy Returns of the day! *Wonders what are "returns of the day"?*
[BtD] I think it means "I hope the day of your birth returns happily year after year after year after yea ...." You get the picture?
[Boobah] *belated birthday hug*
[Chalky] Surely there's a bit of "hope you'll be there to see how said day returns year after year after ye...", too?
The return, people's birthdays, and joie de vivre
*does celebratory dance*
yay!
It's back, from Outer Space..
[Néa] That's it!
Not old
[BtD] Luckily I missed it too.
Not only is it back, but for some weird reason I no longer have to jump through hoops to get into the site. Is this permanent I ask myself?!
askance
Darren, why not ask us? We don't mind, really..
dialogue
.. and you never know - we might reply!
askanology
we might give the wrong answer - but that's the chance you take :o)
Dialogance
Darren] Do you literally mean 'jump through hoops', I ask myself... ;]
self help
[Tuj] Why not ask us? We can probably answer that one.
Is this "Females have all the answers day" ?
[Boolbar] Yes.
dialoganology
And lets face it; today is no different to any other
Fitzgerald
Do you have a right to sing the blues ?
mentary
Yes
OK, is it permanent? It's still working though. [Tuj] No, not literally. But having to use a different browser (in other words, the dreaded IE) to get to MC5 was annoying.
[Darren] Cor, lighten up... at least say yes! Or maybe you have jump over a desk or something...
[Tuj] You've clearly never seen my house. The prerequisite of jumping over furniture goes as read with anything I say.
sofa straddling
[Darren] ... and you never know where it might lead you ...
Chaise Longue Jump
*rofl*
Next thing you'll be telling me that bobsled champions start out by sliding down the stairs in an old sleeping-bag. Like I used to do.
[Darren] No, they use tea-trays.
[Darren] Ah, ya wuss ;) I used to do it without anything! Although I have to say sleeping bags do make it faster.
Er, tobogganning down the stairs, that is.
more chicks

*slight interuption*
As MC5 returns so does a little something else Celebrity Mornington Crescent with this Fridays results, the congratulations go to the girls on top Chalky at Nos1 and 2 assisted by snorgle at 3. Is this a conspiracy?
This week the long shot is Rebecca Loos. Listed on the daq she will be taking part in the Channel 5 celeb reality show The Farm. She will be joined by Paul Daniels, Debbie McGee, Vanilla Ice and several others to make nine contestants. Safe money would be on Elton John after his 'pig' outburst, but will his shares flatline when they reach £4.12.
*end ineruption*

innocent
I just bought some royal or other..
collude? who ... us?
Both of Me bought some royal or other .. and furthermore - we bought some more with our divis.
Feeling sorry for myself
I've lost my purse. I feel a fool. That'll teach me to leave the house when I'm hungover.... *wimper*
Curses
You'll feel even more so when you get around to the rigmarole of replacing licences, cards and the like, Lib. Bad luck, I sympathise.
Clever clogs
My good wife purchased some shoes - sandal style - some year or so ago. They were a bit tight so she wore them around the house for a day and put them away. Today she decided to become adventurous and wore them for a trip to one of the local shopping centres which involved walking around for about one (1) hour. These are the shoes. If you didn't laugh you would cry.
ah yes.
Apparently polyurethane soles have a habit of disintegrating if not worn, especially if they're stored in warm or somewhat moist conditions (eg most of Australia is one or the other). I'm not sure if it's just outer p-u or if it's the foamy matrix that's often within the sole for cushioning. My Dad used to get new shoes through work each year but often didn't wear the new pair for a while, and after a year or two of storage they would self-destruct exactly like that. Cold comfort, I know.
More disasters
Thanks for the sympathy. I've lost my wallet before so I try not to carry much stuff. Have found out that someone tried to use my credit card but failed just after the time I must have lost it. Humph.
And today's disaster is that my heating and hot water aren't working. Woke up to a cold shower. What a good start to the week. Am trying not to dwell on that fact that disasters normally come in threes.....
I have no electricity today for some unexplained reason. However, I've given up carrying a wallet since the last time I lost it, so there's still hope.
[Lib] you poor thing. Here, have an aspririn.
And a propos nuffink, just spotted this on the message board of the website of the local paper I used to work on... it drew such a vivid picture for me and I just had to share:
"on sat 12 july in skegness at the beach nite club met stunningly attractive female from louth but u had to go to get back on a minibus. i was the man shooting u with water pistol. we kissed then u left please get in touch". Awwww
Threeness
On return from the US I discovered that my CD player has developed rheumatism, the broadband router had died and the office desktop PC had lost its will to talk to the network. So it seems indeed that these things come in threes.

Nothing too serious though - the CD player seems to be healing itself, the router sprang back into life when I plugged it into a different socket (though the fact that the original socket has proven itself since fully functioning is somewhat mysterious) and the IT support had some stern words with my desktop until it started behaving itself.

I blame heavy electricity; or, if wet, GM crops.

[Lib] eeeek! [pen] That is SO cute.
electric socks game
I went to the Tate on Sunday and there was a painting by Peter Blake called "Self-Portrait With Badges". My mum turned to me and said "I knew I should have worn my glasses; I have just been looking at that and thinking 'I can't see any badgers'."
hahaha!
[std] That's much better than your other joke.. :)
Thanks again for being so nice. Have cash from trip to bank. Have attempted to fix central heating (nice plumber told me how) but its not playing. Oh well, cold showers are good for the soul, so I'm told.
[pen] That's quite desperate of the bloke/boy. She must of made quite an impression. Maybe it was the wet tee-shirt!
the things mums say
I thought I would share with you something my mum said that had us all in stitches. She went with my dad who is now 72 to get him some new glasses. He had the tests and all that and mom chose some new frames for him. He nearly had a fit at the price but mum told him not to be such an old miser and things are expensive these days. Dad moaned a bit, but capitulated and bought them. My mum relayed this story to my sister and told her the price. Even my sister was taken aback at the expense and said to mum "Mum, are you sure they are not designer frames or something?" Mum looked puzzled and replied "No they weren't designer frames, they were called Arniemarni or something" She is priceless.
Beware Greeks
(With apologies for the cross-post and rather late announcement)

I have 3 spare tickets (stalls) for the matinee performance of Berlioz's "The Trojans" by the English National Opera tomorrow (Wed 29th Sep @ 5pm). I was wondering if anyone was able to join me for this - one of only 5 performances of a show which has apparently won the 2004 Olivier award for Best New Operatic Performance. Details of the show can be found at www.eno.org

If anyone is interested please contact me on oneiros_sama[at]hotmail[dot]com. First come, first served.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled chat game.

breaking the silence
Well... quiet in here, innit?
Yes it is!
I'm hoping to get hot water tonight. The plumber is coming! Headlight also went on car (completing my triplet of disaster) but the very dishy student doctor fixed it for me. Bless!
Gosh, Lib, it's an absolute litany of disaster (I wonder, incidentally, why "litany" always has negative connotations these days - a litany of disaster, a litany of crimes, etc). I have a colleague whose bathroom fell into the flat beneath some time ago and for months she had to come to work early to have a shower there. So it could be worse...
wet and warm
*dances around crescent naked having just got out of shower*. I like hot water!
warm and erm..
Towel?
Gerrof!
I'm enjoying this.
fully clothed today
*waves at the boys*
Spoilsport
*sulks*
Brollies Inc
It's raining! Today is Friday. On Wednesday we had 12mm of rain. Thursday we had about the same and today we've had 25mm or a bit more since this morning (it's about 1420K as I type. Lovely steady rain as opposed to torrential downpours. Ya-friggin'-hoo.
P'raps you could this ) back for me if you'd be so kind. . . Ta.
sunny
with some cloud. but still nice! except I have a cold. bleah.
Boring grey weather. Bring back the rain! It was nice and melancholy the other day. Very atmospheric.
Many different shades of grey type weather with optional wet bits. Lovely.
Weather
(BM) Atmospheric weather, eh? You're getting there. Sorry to jump on you like this. :-)
Boring
Sorry about the hurrah over the weather, but it's been a bit dry here.
I suspect that I may have an ally here in Breadmaster as in my part of the world today is the BIG day as far as a sport called rugby league is concerned. Heaven only knows how many trees have been sacrificed in the lead up to this world event and yet, as if that were not enough, a number of radio stations and at least one television broadcaster are commencing their so-called coverage of this pivotal point of history at noon. The game itself starts at 19 o'clock.
Does this sort of thing happen in the U.K. or the U.S.of A. or, for that matter, Canada?
sports coverage
I remember when I was a child, they used to run incessant football (american) coverage around Christmas and New Year's! I think it was the Rose Bowl - horribly boring.
Bori...zzzzzz
[Dujon] Hard to say, since one would have to experience both to compare. However, I think I'm right in saying that inter-club tournaments can easily be avoided in the UK (in a way that international ones cannot). That is, you can't get away from the football World Cup, but it's easy never to hear anything of the Premiership. I knew nothing of it before working at Sky and was, moreover, compeletely unaware of the existence of similar leagues and suchlike in rugby (or in cricket, come to that). Whereas I don't think I ever saw a newspaper in New Zealand, local or national, that didn't have rugby on the front page.
backstage gossip
(Apologies for cross posting) In case you didn't receive the last email we sent out, we'd like to let you know that there are still 289 tickets left for sale for the recording of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" at the New Theatre in Hull on Saturday 23rd October.
If these tickets have not sold by next Wednesday (6th October) we will advertise them formally.
So, if you'd like to buy tickets for this show, then try to do so by next Wednesday. The ticket prices are £10, £8.50 and £6.50. The show starts at 7.30pm (Doors open 7pm). The box office is open from Monday to Saturday from 10am to 5pm. The box office number is 01482 226655.
Also, in a previous email, we advertised Linda Smith's one-woman show at the Playhouse Theatre in Weston-Super-Mare on Thursday 7th October. Due to illness, Linda has regretfully had to cancel the performance. If you bought tickets, we suggest to telephone the box office on 01934 645544.
Have the Converƒation ƒtoppers ƒinally ƒtopped?
Conversation ftoppers
(Raak) No great loss if it has. Ye kindeft thing you can say about that game was that it didn't show certain people at ye beft.
"Criminal damage, I tell you!"
In the course of my work this morning, I went to inspect an empty Council property, to which we had attached metal screens over the doors and windows for security. As I was about to unlock the screen over the front door, I looked up and saw, scrawled in black permanent marker:

MC
CHALKY
04

Any explanations, Ms Davenport...?
KD was here
Eeek! I've been rumbled.
*rofl*
Two Wheelers
*Cross-Posting Alert*
ATTENTION MOTORBIKE/SCOOTER RIDERS
We, the research consultancy I work for, are looking for new bikers [commuters or enthusiasts] to participate in focus groups around the UK. We have sorted Birmingham, but still have a few vacancies for London Groups [12/13 Oct], Newcastle [19/20 Oct], Bristol [28/29 Oct] and Manchester [2/3 November]. All evenings. Fee of £30 paid for about an hour and a half. If you or any of your mates are interested please email me kedavenport at the hotmail address, but need to warn you that I'm on holiday for a week beginning 11th Oct.
McGreetings
Managed to slap down a holding deposit on a nice flat convenient for my new place of work this morning... At least I think it's nice: certainly seemed very pleasant and spacious as I was walking around it, though I couldn't remember if it has a washing machine (the agent assures me it does). Then again - I couldn't remember if it has a sink either (but I didn't ask the agent that). So, once I've bribed my current landlord into writing me a good reference, I should be sorted. Moving up at the end of the month.. oh what fun (not).
Bikers
(Chalky) Do I take it that you are no longer engaged in elegant scribal activity?
Geordie joke
I saw this in the letters page of the Grauniad a few days ago. A woman walks into a hairdresser's in Ashington, Northumberland, and says, "I'd like a perm". The hairdresser replies, "Ah wandered luuurnly as a cloud. That's Wordsworth, y'knaa".
C V
[Rosie] Indeed I am - still calligraphing and chalk-scribing and the occasional line drawing. However, I now do lots of freelance work for a research consultancy so find myself embroiled in activity mainly connected with Exhibitions & Shows. September was Computer Games, then the Printing Industry, plus a bit of Royal Agricultural Society work. This month is Motorcycles & Scooters, then Paris [holiday] and then ... Recycling Waste Management. I can hardly wait.
C V
[Chalky] You had dealings with the RASE? You poor bugger.
Unusual tenants
[Rab]'Has it got a sink?' would be a fairly normal question in my experience as a landlady - my new tenants have just written to ask me what the rules are on hanging picture frames and pets in the house. They seemed like such a lovely couple, but the latter request is really against my principles and sounds as though it could get messy.
rab's whereabouts
[rab] good news about the gaff. Are you still in Embra or have you returned to Mancland?
pets
At least they're asking - unless it's because their cat has just had kittens and they want to keep them all.. ;)
[Ella] I'd get the RSPCA onto them if they're hanging pets on the walls.
geordie hairdresser, continued.
.....so the woman says "You don't understand, I want my hair curled." So the hairdressed puts her head in his fridge.

A scottish man walks into a baker's shop and asks "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" The baker replies: "Naw, yer right enough, it's a doughnut".

Animal Cruelty
[Dunx] That was my concern! Obviously I need to learn how to express myself more clearly through the medium of the written word or alternatively improve my sense of humour!
[Ella] ... or I need to read posts properly before I write. I hadn't woken up yet and just didn't notice your very well-expressed joke.
Sleepyhead
I'm back in Manc now, having caught up with my new (and, yet, somehow, old) colleagues last night at the annual poster session (which essentially is a front for a booze-up). [Ella] I'll check about the sink - welcome by the way.
Thank you
[Dunx] I can sympathise! It usually takes me a good few hours before I remember who I am in the morning let alone how to read and write. [Rab] Thank you for this fantastic site. I happened on it whilst searching the web for bedroom furniture (?!) and as you may tell, am now completely hooked. I do feel as though I've gate crashed a party full of old friends though - hope you don't mind!
welcome!
[Ella]My apologies for being thick about your post.. and I'm not that old!
*waving*
Hello Ella, welcome! Hope soon you'll feel part of the party!
Mornings
(Ella) I know what you mean about mornings. Being retired, I have decided to do away with them entirely, but it only postpones the befuddlement. Welcome to the asylum, which is of course run by the inmates. BTW I'm a bloke.
bedroom furniture???
[Ella] Welcome.
[Ella] All old friends were once new friends. Welcome. BTW I'm a spiny anteater from New Guinea.
[Ella] Welcome and .... oops! quick got to go line manager on the loose.
Welcome Ella
Searching for bedroom furniture . . . it makes a change from "Jade Goody Nude".
Hello Ella
No, if she'd wanted Jade Goody Nude she'd have ended up at MC in Outer Space. MC5 is a decent site with none of that filth, despite our best efforts. (Note for the uninitiated: a look at the "Google hits" info on the MCIOS screen reveals a distressing number of people who not only search for Ms Goody as God made her but thereby find their way onto the MCIOS page. No-one knows why.)
Jade Goody Nude
Yes, I don't know why Dan doesn't just rename the site.
jade goody nude
Breadmaster] Imagine my surprise when I did a google search on "jade goody nude" and searched through for MCiOS, and LO AND BEHOLD, I found that IT WAS YOU that was linked to.......
kafkaesque zebrafish
thanks to all of you for making me spend teh last 30 minutes trying to find a GOOGLEWHACK. But hey - I suceeded !. Never again.
Whacky
[st d] You recall this of course?
[Ella] Will you be frequenting the other MC sites too?
[St D] Splendid! I knew my crusade (consisting solely of repeating the phrase JADE GOODY NUDE as much as possible) would bear fruit...
[Bm] Do you do it in real life too, then?
[All] Thank you for a very warm welcome! [Darren] I've just spent some considerable time following the links to some of the other sites. Consequently, I've cancelled all appointments I had made with the outside world for the next year in order to give myself at least a slight chance of keeping up with all of the MC banter and games available. Who needs a family/job/friends anyway?
*ding dong* Paging Chalky
[Chalky] Did you get the mail I sent you (to both addresses) last night?
*ping*
[rab] YES! *OOPS - TURNS OFf caps lock*
Was 'called out on business' straight from the office which is euphemistically known as 'went to the pub', then crashed [out, not into]. Thanks. Good stuff - am following it up as I type - hence the caps lock. I'm gibbering now. My brain is full up.
[Darren] Naturally. This is one reason why, like Ella, I have no family/job/friends either.
[rab] No birthday cake this year? Oh well, have a good one anyway.
Cake
[Lib] I'm saving myself up for a big plate of curry tonight...
currying favour
[rab] many happy repeats!
Is it just me or is there a bowl of soup on the front page?
Only joshing
I think it's a Rogan Josh.
Double take
BtD] You know, I thought it was just me...
Well, if you want to drink soup from a metal dish, I guess it's a free country. *is waiting for the girls to get ready, and wondering if we'll make it to the pub on time...*
mmmmm...
curry!
[rab] Happy bday and enjoy your curry!

I had a very nice curry on Friday night, although that was mainyl to avoid cooking after a grisly day.

Opens doors and activates fan
Through the eye of a needle...
I had a korma on Friday night, and spent most of the next 24 hours on the pan with minor food poisoning... Hope yours was better, rab!
Handily
It was a very lovely Lamb Handi, thanks, preceded by some lovely veggie samosas and accompanied by a couple of drinks.
currylicious
Make your own curries and then you don't have to worry about food poisoning! I made one tonight with onion, garlic, LOADS of butter, garam masala, chili powder, chick peas, potato and a bunch of fresh baby spinach leaves. Damn fine.
Lamb Handi
Sounds like the RSPCA need to be told . . . .
And I hope you washed your Handi afterwards.
radiooooooo
I finished my first radio show! It went quite well although we started off with major technical problems (we'd burned our playlist onto a CDr which the station's stereo refused to read) - luckily I'd brought all the original CDs to the studio in case of such an emergency so it all worked out! My co-host tried to ridicule me on some of my choice of songs but I was having none of it. You can't faze me! And I ain't stopping there! It's so exciting! I'm so glad I got the chance - it's hysterical when it goes wrong but it's so much fun! And I got most of it on tape too! *dances*
Congratulations!
What radio station are you broadcasting on?
Hey! I used to have a radio show. I didn't need a co-host to ridicule my choice of music, though, as I could manage that by myself.
playlist
ZK] so tell us what it was then, so we can ridicule it too, or perhaps join in in being ridiculed by suggesting some others your co-host might liek to laugh at. And what did s/he choose ?
Server move
Well, apart from the odd hiccup, that went pretty well. If you can see this, your DNS has propogated. Welcome to MC5's new home.
Our playlist was as follows: Footloose, by Kenny Loggins, Johnny B Goode, by Chuck Berry, Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealer's Wheel, House of Fun by Madness, Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks, Frontin' by Jamie Cullum, Havin' A Party by The Osmonds, Dancing In The Street by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, I Quit by Hepburn, then some other stuff which went out the window because we ran out of time due to the tech failure at the beginning of the show, so we just stuck on Bohemian Rhapsody instead.
[Breadmaster] An interesting thought...I may be able to quietly bury her under a patio somewhere and do the job on my own :)
Good lord - I've actually heard of two of those. You can't be very mainstream. Now, tell us what channel you're on (or whatever the radio term is - I don't know - I don't understand radio!) and we can adjudge for ourselves!
[Nik] Congratulations. Is this the tiny new low power server box, or something else?
The tiny 'new' low power server box, yes.
[Nik] I see a yes, and my cursor turns into a ? when over it, but should something else happen? (MacOS X, Safari.)
[Nik] Ah, I see the popup now, Safari waits a whole second before showing it.
Poppers
[Raak] And disappears a whole second before you've had time to read it. Anyway, jolly good, ho. Not been able to post from work as the DNS hasn't had time to propagate from Withington to Chorlton-On-Medlock, clearly. You'd've thought that if a Magic Bus could do it, the newfangled Interwebnet could...

[ZK] Not a shockingly bad playlist, but, given that (I believe) you're a shade younger than I, shouldn't you be knocking out some more banging tunes than I did when spinning the wheels of steel plastic in 1995?

radio ga ga
We asked for a specialist show rather than a mainstream one so we could play absolutely anything, otherwise we'd have had to have stuck with Burn's playlist (which, quite frankly, isn't very big) - the show's called the Nostalgia Hour (well, it has our names in front of that) and we can play absolutely anything from 1950 through to 2004. As long as we like it (or one of us likes it) we can play it. Unfortunately, we're on at 10 in the evening once a week and our broadcasting power is about 3 feet, but I told all my friends to listen on the internet so the only problem they have is when that crashes. The frequency is 107.3 FM which I think works on the radio just outside the studio and not in many other places. If you absolutely want to listen to me make an ass of myself go to www.burnfm.com. We had more modern songs on the playlist originally but ran out of time so we ended up with Frontin (2004) and I Quit (1999). The Guild has more than enough people playing predominantly banging tunes already, and they get put on during the day when people are actually listening to them, so I reserve my right to act like I'm radio 2.
Ooh, that went on a bit..
I did a very silly thing yesterday....
....got locked out of my house. Pulled the door shut and thought 'Arse'. And if I did leave and keys with a neighbour then the one I'd chose is away this weekend. Tried the credit card thing and other silly ideas (like putting my hand through the letter box), but Mr Locksmith fixed it in the end. I felt very silly!

[ZK] Good playlist! Good luck with your next show. Which night do you broadcast?

And what's wrong with pre-1950? Play some Louis Jordan, and let those hep cats pick up on what you're layin' down, put on their zoot suits, and have a natural jivin' ball! Preach!
[Lib] Wednesdays.
[Breadmaster] Nothing, but I didn't think I'd be able to persuade my co-presenter to play back that far. I'm hoping to sneak a few in every now and then without telling her.
Jiving
(Breadmaster) Not a lot of jiving pre-1950. It all started when Rock Around the Clock came to the local fleapit about 1954. Even I was a bit young for it, being about 11 and still into locospotting.
Eh?
You mean people didn't 'jive' to Pennsylvania 6-5000? Mind you I thought that this was all about a steam engine when I was younger (I finally realized that a 6-5-0-0-0 was an odd configuration).
[Rosie] Ah, you just have a listen to Louis Jordan's Saturday Night Fish Fry and then tell me it all started with Mr Haley...
Jiving, and all that good stuff
(Duj, BM) You're probably right, actually. When you're only 11 everything is new. Rock Around the Clock brought it much more into public notice, probably. (Duj) I've always thought Pennsylvania 6-5000 was a telephone number. My Big Band usually play it on gigs because it goes down well with the oldies, i.e. people of my age or even older. (BM) A friend of mine, who plays tenor sax in another Big Band I play in, runs a Jump Jive band called One Jump Ahead. They do a lot of Louis Jordan numbers and I've heard them several times. They also do a British version of Route 66 - "get your fun on the A21". Good stuff.
locked out and locked up
[lib] My good friend got so drunk on his 21st birthday that he lost his house keys, had to break a window to get inside at 2am. Shortly after he was arrested by the police when his neighbours called in a report of a stranger in their spare bedroom. They were quite religious people and were not impressed with the conition of the bedsheets either.
tonite
Just to say I won't be about tonight at the e-pilg, I'm on a date... :o)
wahey!
[pen] oooooooh!
Jive Talkin
[Rosie] Pennsylvania 6-5000 was and is a phone number. Specifically, the phone number of the front desk of the Hotel Pennsylvania situated in picturesque Manhattan, on Seventh Avenue opposite Madison Square Garden. Which is round in point of fact.
phone numbers
I'm glad it is! I thought I was going barmy.
Indeed
Fair suck of the sav! I did say 'when I was younger'. To be honest while I knew it was a 'phone number in the song I did not realize that it's a real one.
Phone numbers
(Stevie) Not in Pennsylvania, then? Mmm, have to think about that. Internal telephone exchange, perhaps? :-)
ring this number...
There's also a Ry Cooder song with a phone number in it - 6345 789 or something. Has anyone ever tried calling that one?
Ring my bee-ell (ding dang dong)
[pen] Never mind about that - how did it go?
last night, she said...
[rab] Really, really well. Might be meeting up tonight too - he's just trying to cancel something else... tee hee!!
What! Two nights in a row! Sounds serious. You're evidently not a Rules girl, and a good thing too.
We meet every night at eight...
[Bm] It's either tonight or in a week's time, and as I might be less enchanted at the end of seven days, it's as well that he moves his diary around to accomodate me, heheheh. I've been told that if he makes me his famous bruschetta, I'll want to move in. Frankly, the SW1 postcode would be enough, but I'll go over for the tomatoes-on-toast anyway.
6-5000
[Rosie] Back in the Olde Dayes™ the phone exchanges in NYC were named, like those in London. One would dial two "letters" of the exchange name (in this case PE I believe though I haven't checked) then the digits 6-5000 giving the familiar (to a New Yorker) seven digit numbers. These days you have to dial four more digits because there are two area codes in Manhattan, the original "212" and a new one which we all think is "646", though no-one important would accept such a new-fangled invention and therefore anyone in a "646" area code is by definition not worth calling (pshaw). In point of fact, the Hotel Pennsylvania lost the 6-5000 number and only re-acquired it a few years ago amidst great media hoopla.
Four shall be the count
[Rosie] I forgot to add the startlingly uninteresting fact that all phone numbers must be preceeded by dialing a "1" when an area code is required in the USA. Which it always is when dialing anywhere in the five bouroughs of NYC. Even if you are in that area code when you dial. If you don't dial the "1", a recorded voice tells you to hang up and redial with the "1". This system was adopted at great expense for subscriber dialling convenience.
Waking up
[pen] You go girl. Sounds very exciting. Good luck!
Telephone Exchanges
(Stevie) The names of London telephone exchanges used to be quite original, but have ceased to exist as such for about 40 yrs. Off the top of my head I can think of Waxlow, Pollards, Livingstone, Renown, Tudor, Museum, Bluebell, Vigilant, Speedwell. There are loads more in this vein that give you no idea of where they are. You don't need an area code to dial in London, but two four-figure numbers. There used to be a laundry near where I live whose number was Upper Warlingham 27. If it existed now it would be 01883 620027, not a London number, obviously. How boring it all is!
Tittle tattle
Bring back the party line I sez.
countdown
In twenty minute's time, it'll be a week since the last post in the Electric Sock game. Any suggestions for replacements?
Do-do do-do doodlioo-doo. Boooo!
Well I was thinking things have got a little dusty recently, and looking through the MCiOS archives I note we haven't had a letter-writing game for a while. Not of the Mrs Trellis sort, but one where each player writes an entire letter. Examples of this genre include Letters to the editor and Wish you were here?. Of course, I'm always more in favour of things that haven't been tried before. At least, that's what I told the volleyball team last night.
slottage
I quite fancy a team game [the last one was in MCiOS earlier in the year] 'cause they invariably draw the regular contributers/lurkers out of the woodwork.
'Specially if we can have team colours !
[rab] Is it possible to use color in the Name box? I've just tried it using my usual sticky-back-plastic-html methodology but nothing happened ...
ooh
That sounds interesting! What did you have in mind?
they let WHO on the radio?
For anyone planning to listen tonight, be warned. Apparently they decided last week we were very responsible so we don't need a committee member to look after us...or, in fact, anyone else in the studio. Now, I take this as a great compliment and also as a sign that we are going to die tonight, seeing as how it means no technical help if we arse up! And we picked the playlist yesterday night. Should be an experiment in thinking on our feet...
Teeming
[Chalky] Nope.
Or, to be more substantive, any HTML in the 'Name' box is stripped to avoid forking up the front page.
NOT IN COLOUR!
[rab] Natch. I see the Apropos Box has also been stripped unless I'm missing a trick there aswell :-)
How about a game of tag-wrestling? Not seen that in a while.
[Chalky] Also true - but that's given me an idea... howsabout I set it up so that if you type 'Red', 'Blue', 'Hampster', 'PeachPuff' or whatever into the 'apropos' box, that word is then colourised, so it would look like:

    rab - Red
    Maida Vale
That'd be fairly easy to do without requiring too much cluttering up of the interface. Would take me about half-an-hour or so tonight to do.

[Projoy] I never understood what Tag Wrestling is all about - can you explain to me please.

Guten Tag!
You have two teams. The object is to tell a story collaboratively, alternating between teams. Each team has a closing phrase with which they must end the story in order to win the game (e.g. "and then they all moved to Mexico because of the cheap tagliatelle."), but obviously the story must steer naturally to that closing phrase, so it becomes a literary tug of war. It might be especially interesting to try it in rhyming verse, come to think of it.
Here is an example from the Yorkives. Other than an outing on Orange last year(?), I don't think we've played this game "straight" for many years.
Sounds good - would rather do it straight than get versical.
tagging along
So everyone, regardless of team colour, tells the same story but each team has its own 'finishing post'; the teams move in strict rotation [?]; perhaps limited words per entry to curtail the more verbose amongst us?
Phone Boorishness
[Rosie] :o) When AT&T was forced to share its lines with MCI and Sprint, there had to be some way of figuring out the tarrifs. MCI and Sprint addressed this in 1984/5 by issuing cards to subscribers with a convenient account number and pin that had to be prepended to the number you were calling. Titus A. Crab, one of my highly-paid consultant co-workers (same contract as me so I know), fell for the spiel and I had the great joy for about two months of watching him dial England from New York. The account numbers were 10/12 numbers long. The PIN was another 4. Then there was the 5 digit 01144 to get the transatlantic cable link. Then the brand new four digit area code. Then the (even newer) six digit phone number (and we all forgot to add the leading zero at least once). Titus would invariably suffer from mis-directed digit syndrom 15-20 numbers in and have to start over. Word would get around he was phoning and everyone in the vicinity would begin loud conversations involving numbers in order to precipitate more of these humorous mistakes. On a good day it could take him 30 minutes or more to establish that all the lines to England were busy.

All this so he could save a few cents on his calls. >:o)
Taggin'
So one team might have the line about tagliatelle, and keep steering the story towards Mexico, whilst the other team might be trying to steer it back to fit their closing line, which is about the Emperor Hirohito? Could be interesting...
I'd love a team game, but they generally do work better on MCiOS because of the colourised names.
Another game suggestion
OK, a third idea: Cat Chess. This charming feline pastime is actually quite a tactical game. Each player plays one cat, usually in a village setting. The object is to move to a point where you can see all the other cat-players and none of them can see you.
Ah! Now that sounds interesting. Do any archived examples exist?
Tagging along
Why not both? Considering this server is streamlined down to 10 games (ft. this one, and the Furcation Game, which no-one seems interested *cue mournful violin: give money now!*), could we not petition to expand? I often think a couple more would widen the appeal to more players, resulting in burgeoning popularity, and, of course, votes in key areas.
And yes, I've realised I'm waffling, but at least I'm stopping now. Let's tag!
Cat Chess
[BM] Er, not as yet...
*votes for tagging wotsit*
Tag
Can whoever sets this up also start with some sample code for the colours? That way the team members will look alike and those of us with rudimentary HTML skills will be able to join in without ruining the game's patina.
Ragbag
If you'll give me about 10-15 minutes to check my upgrades and put them online, you won't have to learn any HTML at all!
Right!
Well, that seems to work. There's now a new style of game, called the 'Team' game which eschews Apropos for a Team colour. Enter a colour in the box and hey presto - it might be recognised. I suggest we give it a whirl in the 'Team Talk' game to see how it works, and then when we're bored kill that and play a team game proper.
BURN FM
Oh dear. I read out the studio e-mail tonight and my co-presenter suggested it was a sexy phone voice. I then put on a different one and proceeded to suggest that that one might work better. I then spent the rest of the show taking e-mails from my flatmates demanding I read out sentences of a dubious nature in said voice...which I did, of course, after making them promise to pledge money to charity.

Apparently we're meant to play music on the show at one point or another...
Titus A. Crab
(Stevie) The things people will do to save a few pence or cents (or pents or cence) never cease to amaze me. They put a very low price on their time and temper, obviously. What was his real name, BTW?
Radio
[ZK] Aha, so you're either Lottie or Laura, then. I see your show is classified as "specialist", which sounds about right from your descriptions...
ZK's radio voice
I'm clearly at the wrong university. where are you?
and I'm back in case noone noticed/cared. check orange for more.
Names
[Rosie] Real name???? Are there those among us who espouse the use of pseudonyms then? Titus certainly made his Mark though.
[nights] Well, I noticed. Nice to see you back.
[Breadmaster] thank you. really, you've made me grin in a public place on a wet and dreary evening in darkest somerset.
[Breadmaster] I am indeed. And it was the only way we could get a show where we could play what we wanted (asking for a specialist show, not doing a silly voice). It also meant they stuck us on at 10pm, but there are advantages to that. Like being able to run over 20 minutes because you feel like it and you're the last show on :) I listened to the tape of the show with my flatmates when I got home - ah, how we laughed :) I apparently took them by surprise...and there was a very silly message for me in the fridge magnets this morning.

[nights] Your return is welcomed and makes me finally beg the question I've been longing to ask: why are you called nights?
I'm in Birmingham (hence BURN FM: Birmingham University Radio Network) - and I feel for you. We had our 2 weeks summer holiday last year in Somerset during a massive heatwave...well, it was a heatwave everywhere else except in Somerset, where it pissed it down for 2 solid weeks ...so I know the feeling. *sends sympathy vibes to nights*
[nights] Now, let's not talk about that particular wet and dreary evening in Zummerzet - at least not in public...
[ZK] cheers. ah, birmingham. home of huge pigeons if I remember. Somerset is nice in the summer, but it's rubbish in the winter. So why am I here all winter but not in the summer? makes no sense. I asked about BURN because it's a popular shout around here. (person falls off something or something else bad happens:) "buuuurn." I don't understand it either.

and I'm called nights because a) when I chose it I was living mainly at night, and b) bernard seemed inappropriate. so thanks for your interest. I might have asked this already but what does ZK stand for?

[Breadmaster] come on, you're going to have to admit it sooner or later. Avon and Somerset's finest have already been at my little door...
winterland
[nights] Would you consider anywhere in the UK to be 'nice' in the winter?
I ask that because I'm a bit weird and I actually prefer autumn and winter, seasonal/scenery-wise.
btw - welcome back :-)
[Chalky] I'm weird in that way too - I think I have reverse SAD. However, let's not start the perennial "winter or summer?" debate. People have lost friends and indeed limbs over that one in the past.
Ta-ra!
Off to sunny Wales for a week - see you all later!
perennial?
You mean we only have the debate every other Winter?
Eh?
Perennial means every year.
er?
I rather thought it meant lasting throughout the year in a perpetual sort of way. Also, in a botanical sense - lasting more than two years. Not that it really matters :-)
Perennialitude (© G W Bush)
(Chalky) Yeah, it does really. But certainly not every other year.
[nights] Zooological Keeper, after a line from the Goon Show.
Zooologicality ((c))
ZK] Which one? You wouldn't make me go and listen to all of them just to find out, would you?
ZKism
oh yes I remember now. all I need to know now is - does BURN stream online? I'll have to have a listen.
[Projoy] You're thinking of biannual, surely? I must admit to not being entirely sure of the meaning of "perennial", now I come to think of it. It's one of those words that one uses without really thinking about it. I think it means persisting from year to year, or possibly appearing at least once a year. Perhaps.
Biennial = every two years, bi-annual = twice a year. According to my mother who is a gardener and deals with these terms regularly.
[BM] I've already explained the meaning of perennial - back up there ^ ^ ^ ^
oooh - that looks a bit schoolmarmish. Sorry. Anyway, to get away from the semantics, I'd like to announce that for a change I stayed in tonight and watched loads of crap TV and REALLY enjoyed it.
[nights] I haven't recommended it any other way. My flatmates were listening about a mile down the road and had to hold onto the aerial to get a decent signal. If you go to www.burnfm.com you should get automatically redirected to whatever the real URL is, given a few seconds. I warn in advance that the show is mostly total gubbins, but we do have fun. If I knew how to get the sound onto a form of software I'd put some soundbites on here, but sadly I only have it on tape and don't own a minidisc player or anything similarly hi-tech. I played The Voice at a house party tonight and apparently I could make a fair amount of money that way. Speaking of which, does anyone know how a 19-year-old with no skills or previous experience can get a job that doesn't involve doing the unspeakable?! No-one wants to hire me!
paying attention
[Tuj] "Ah, good morning, Zooological Keeper!"

Inspired, eh?
ooh yes
And I believe it's from an episode called "Insurance - the White Man's burden"
randomly
What is the correct spelling of Hamster? I always thought that was it until I nipped into Mcios, and now I'm not sure.
spelling bee
[ZK] As it happens, both spellings are acceptable :-)
As for the employment - are you seeking permanent full-time or temporary full-time or perhaps part-time, or just holiday work or support-yourself-through-your-studies work; days, evenings, nights, weekends or all four? C'mon gal, we need details!
"Hamster" is the correct spelling for the animal, yes. "Hampster" is a misspelling that caught on rather well and is therefore the de facto standard here ;-)
tsk!
[JLE] I refer you to my previous reply. BOTH are acceptable. Curiously enough, there IS life outside the Morniverse.
... speaking of which, another branch of my family are doing the Sunday lunch thing at their house today so I don't have to cook. Whoopee!

And ... bye bye you lovely people ... I shan't be around for quite a long time but hope to have lots of news when I get back :-)

Puzzled from London
But if "Zooological Keeper" is from a radio programme, why the extra "o"? This story doesn't add up, inspector. As for jobs, assuming this is something part-time now, I think it makes sense to think about what you want to do later in life and try to work towards it. However, I am the last person anyone should seek career advice from.

Come back soon, Chalky!
Chalk face
[Chalky] Where'reyou offto?

Should also point out that I'll be in an Manchester-Edinburgh limbo for the next week, and net access may be rather more patchy as I haven't got round even to arranging old-fashioned telephone communications technology at the new abode yet.

perennial
Ah, just shows how much I know about horticulture. [Chalky] Also curious about what takes you away.
[Chalky] Part-time work to fit in around studies and volunteering (which I cleverly picked for 10.30am-1pm on an otherwise free saturday...what a silly cow!!!)
[Breadmaster] I spelt it as I heard it, which seemed to be Zoo-ological, but I couldn't be bothered to put a dash in. I thought 3 os looked better...And I haven't the faintest idea what I want to do later in life. But I know it doesn't involve picking up glasses after boozy students.
Ahhh... Well, it is actually spelled with two Os, even though there are two syllables there. Perhaps it should be spelled "zoölogical", although that would look a bit silly. But of course, since it's your name - kind of - it's up to you how to spell it.
Sorry, I feel a rant coming on.
Last week (Saturday night to Saturday morning) I was on a week of nights. This involves me working seven 13 hour shifts in a row, thats a working week of 91 hours. In my penultimate hour I was taking blood from a IV drug abuser, I take blood every day and an IV drug abuser is nothing special. Anyway, the needle slipped after coming out of her and ended scratching my skin and it drew blood. I washed it under the tap and told the necessary people and booked in as a patient to my own A and E department.
Then the faffing began. Nobody knew what to do, and the right policy couldn't be found. I was finding it all a bit much (partly because I was feeling such a spanner and partly because I was so TIRED) so hid myself away in the staff room and cried. My consultant arrived and she took control. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed, however they didn't seem to understand that all I wanted to do was sleep or let me leave ( it was deemed that I wasn't safe to drive, due to all the tears and I live half an hour away from the hospital) so I was sent to a colleagues house to wait.
The drug user’s blood was sent to Manchester for emergency tests and special strings were pulled so the tests only took two hours. Finally the phone call came through and all her tests were negative (for scary things like HIV, Hepatitis B and C), so I was finally allowed to go home 4 hours late.
I know that accidents happen and these unlucky things are relatively common and I've been fortunate to have a clear result so soon, but I don't think it was a coincidence that it happened at the end of a 91 hour working week.
*goes humbly to pick up glasses after boozy students*
Knackered doctors
(Lib) There are dozens of occupations where hours are strictly limited and have been for a long time. Train driver, bus driver, for example. So why not doctors? I can think of a few answers, none of which reflect well on the administrators. Is my cynicism justified? Your rant certainly is.
My dad has the same problem. Of course, how many MPs do you know who are or have ever been doctors and therefore care?
[Lib] (((hug))) I'll never complain about my job again.

[ZK] I do happen to know that a certain supermarket chain recently bought by Morrisons is hiring down here so they might well be in the jolly Midlands. If you can put up with eight hours of beep... beep... and can ask "would you like cashback?" with sincerety, then apply! It's fun! Really!
Offski
Disappointed that I've managed to only half-fill the van. Well, looks like we're off...
I've just realised that I was in fact complaining about my job opnly about a minute after promising not to do it. *sigh*. I need a drink. I know it's not even midday.
Needle Stick
:o( Remote hug sent. Feel better.
Normality
Cheers everyone. Thanks for the support. Have been some kind of distorted celebrity at work today. Hoping tommorow I can have some normality, and put the whole nasty experience behind me.
[Lib] Well good. I'd like to publicly mark the passing of one of the greats of music, John Peel. He played an important part in helping me see past mainstream music and start listening to other things. He'll be sadly missed. Rest in Peace, Peely.
John Peel can't be dead!!!!!!!!!!!





He's not, is he?





Is he?
a quick trip to BBC news later
disbelief declared He is, as well. They say bad things happen in threes - who else are we going to lose in October?! I add my sentiments to those of nights.
Now, I don't wish for one moment to cast disrespect at Mr Peel, whom I have never heard speak and thought was simply a whimsical article-writer for the Radio Times - although I did read an article of his in which he described the guitar work of Hubert Sumlin as miraculous, and I also know that he possessed more records by Lightnin' Hopkins than any other artist, so I approve of him. But in what way can someone who wasn't a musician be regarded as one of the greats of music? Isn't that rather like calling Brian Sewell one of the greats of art?
Interesting point. One might say that John Peel was a great aide to development within the music industry, by introducing a lot of new and diverse material that might not otherwise have been publicised. I don't know precisely in what capacity Brian Sewell works within the art sphere - I presume he's an art critic *prepares to get shot down in flames* which isn't quite the same thing. So you might rephrase it as "one of the greats of music journalism", or something.

None of my business really.
JP
If you want to understand something of Peel's influence in popular music you could do worse than to spend a couple of minutes reading through some news articles, tributes and the various obits that have appeared. It's not like they're hard to find or anything.

Let me however try to give me a feel for why Peel was a much-loved figure in music. First, he's been on the modern (Beatles onwards) pop music scene for as long as that scene existed - in fact he used his Liverpudlian connection to get himself a job in the States on the back of the Beatles' success at the start of his career. He genuinely seemed to love all music that had been created with a passion, right from Belgian nosebleed noisethrash mp3s through to jazz standards recorded on crackly 78's. His Radio 1 programme would typically showcase both of these and everything inbetweeen. His links were usually extremely witty and peppered with little anecdotes about the band whose music he'd played, or some little story about how he came about purchasing that particular bit of green vinyl from a backstreet record shop in Groningen. Even as he was starting to draw a pension, he was still producing two hour shows three times a week. The consequences are severalfold: (i) he gave people who tired of the formulaic easy-listening pap that makes up most of a radio station's playlist a refuge where something more challenging could be found (but without taking it too seriously like what more eclectic programmes on R3 do); (ii) this exposure to a wider range of music (such as, I understand the DIY ethos of the punk movement) inspired many people to start making music themselves (see the tributes passim); (iii) it also gave budding musicians something to aspire to, viz getting Peel to give them a session and help get them noticed (if they were any good); (iv) it also created the impression that he would always be there, one of the reasons why he is sorely missed.

It's impossible to know how different the pop music tapestry would be without him; but I think it's wholly appropriate that he should be saluted for having made a huge contribution to the particular way it came to be woven. I think that's what people mean when they say he's a 'great of music'.

John Peel also played a mean Jaws Harp on the Third Ear Band's album Alchemy.
missed
[Peel] Wish we'd had one of him in Australia. :-(
JP was also seen on TOTP beside Rod Stewart, playing the mandolin on Maggie May.
It was well known that if you sent him a demo he would listen to it - for fear of missing something. Thus Blur, the Undertones and many more got a play on his show before any record companies had heard of them.
I also admired him for 'Home Truths', although it wasn't really my sort of show - the way he could get ordinary people to talk about extraordinary and/or very painful things was an example of the interviewer's art that most others could learn much from.
[Breadmaster] I think you could say "one of the greats of music" in the same way that Jean Cocteau was.
Do You Ken John Peel?
[Breadmaster] Alternately, one could simply troll through an on-line CD store for "John Peel" and see how many now-famous bands owe their early exposure to the man. Shameless marketing can sometimes have an unexpected benefit to the consumer and these "John Peel" CDs are some of the best in my collection (although I don't collect them as such, I do add them to my exsisting collections of material by bands I like).
How is everyone writing in bold and italic and normal? (At least on the other forums).
[Knobbly knees] try following this link to DrQu+xum's Basic HTML.
knobbly HTML
I love that page. It's taught me a lot... and in real life too.

To start a new topic, what are we all listening to as we post?
[nights] The cooling fan.
Silence
As I take worshipping the almighty Crescent very seriously I always post in complete silence, while sitting in the lotus position.
hummmmmmm
The hum of the server, the toot of the sandwich van pulling up in the car park, intermittent Tourette-like outbursts of frustration and the clattering of keyboards as my colleagues - nay, UNDERLINGS get on with their proper work while I skive.
Whiiiiiiiiiiine
[nights] My tinitus.
For some reason, the latest CD I've bought is one of chamber music - trios, quartets and quintets - by Schumann. So that's what I'm listening to.
oh gosh you're all funny. I'm listening to one of my legendary mix tapes on headphones while sat in the library.
[nights] You think a background whistle that cannot be silenced no matter what you do is funny? You are one sick puppy.
My ears are alive with the sound of music
I'm listening to the music of a band called Elbow. Somewhere between Schumann and tinnitis.
The beat coming from the morons downstairs.
It's gone very quiet in here. You don't all live beneath me, do you? Only that would be a sure sign the cyanide cake we sent them worked.



Oh, have I said to much? *prepares to destroy the evidence*
*too much
Ear, Ear
I've been listening to various radio shows today, and will start to listen to the last HHGTG episode in a bit. Probably. Other than that, it's the whirr of three or four computer fans and the occasional whine from the cats.

But what I'm really listening to is the sound of my going up the wall as the local anaesthetic from my dentist's visit wears off and my gums itch and my teeth hurt. Aargh!

Local anaesthetic, climbing up the walls
I was watching TV with my flatmates the other week and they switched onto something about cosmetic surgery. Squeamish enough as I am at the best of times, I started busying myself with the fridge when they started describing how one woman was going to have reshaping surgery on her genitalia. When they proceeded to mention that she was having the operation under local anaesthetic, I decided it was time for me to leave the room.
whining noises
[Bif] No, I'm not sick. I was just too tired to read entries properly. Bad nights. In your basket.

[ZK] Oh isn't shared housing lovely? Still, I got up at 06h45 this morning to make sure I actually got a shower today before gettingthe 08h bus. Worked as well.
33s and 45s
Got my first ever P45 today. Whee!
really? first ever? I'm 19 and I've had two... and I made it home again despite the best efforts of First Avon and Somerset Buses.
[ZK] I assume this woman had some ghastly deformity which was being corrected, but my mind is now fillinh unavoidably with the concept of cosmetic genital reshaping, like a bizarre form of topiary. What will they think of next?

I am currently listening to nothing. However, I will shortly be listening to - and indeed watching - the nice new DVD I just got, which is vol. 3 of the American Folk Blues Festival 1962-69. It looks like it's probably not as good as vols. 1 and 2 (especially the latter, which featured among others Lightnin' Hopkins, T-Bone Walker and Howlin' Wolf, bringing the coolness factor dangerously close to critical mass - as well as the apostrophe quotient), but this one does apparently feature a young and hip Buddy Guy. I saw Buddy Guy a couple of months ago and he was old and hip, and kindly let us have our picture taken with him once we'd beaten our way through the frenzied fans. Never have I seen such adulation of any performer - you'd think Jesus had got onto stage to unleash a few funky licks. So I approve of him.

Anyway, I should, hopefully, be listening to a lot less of unwanted noise now that I've moved in with my young lady friend for a bit. This is a much quieter area and the walls are thicker. In my old flat, I could hear my next-door neighbour snoring as clearly as if he were in the room with me - a ghastly thought. He apparently went to bed at about 8pm and stayed there for at least 12 hours, as far as I could tell. Fortunately I have a large and versatile collection of ear plugs - but I'll be glad to use them less for a bit.

I'll be quiet now before this starts to turn into a blog. Whatever that is.
seriously
cosmetic. i kid ye not.
uuuuurgh that's just bizarre. when are you on BURN again ZK?
[ZK] Before: Wayne Rooney or possibly Jesus, if Google is anything to go by. After: Chilly Gonzales ??
feel the BURN
10-11pm on wednesdays, except this wednesday is our last show as the station's license has run out until march. daft.
Mondaypilg
ah. yes. Hmm. I wil be unable to join you for the chat on Monday as I will be in Italy. For the whole week. Hurrah!! (And as for the date situation, we just had date four - brunch in Chelsea - and it's still lovely.) :o)
dates, figs etc
I just got asked out and said yes...what do I do now?! *hasn't been on a date in 2 years and the other ones all sucked*
ooh MC love. go for it, be witty, be charming... be yourself.
Prunes
I'm not sure I've ever been on a formal 'date' so I don't know what the protocol is. Hello from Edinburgh - I also won't be at the chat tonight as I don't have a phone line yet. BT claims it doesn't exist, but I can see it, and if I plug a phone in, there's a continuous tone which I believe is the 'you need to phone up BT to make this work' noise, but BT claims the phone line doesn't exist so, erm, ...
passion fruit
[ZK] I think "turn up" is the first step, but after that I'm not sure.
[ZK] You're asking people online what to do on a date? I think by definition we're the last bunch to ask such a thing!
BT hates me, you, all of us.
[rab] when I moved into my house down here the first thing I did was test the phone line, got the same result you did, called BT from my mobile and they turned it on and set up my account the same day. however they're now making it very difficult for me to cancel as we've now got telewest, so swings and roundabouts.
sorry to comment twice, but I've had an awfully good idea for a game. so first dibs on any new slots that come up...
Date
[ZK] I have said this before, but it bears repeating. While on your date, do not under any circumstances bite your datee on the buttocks no matter how firm and round they look and no matter how opportune the moment seems.
[nights] Weren't we about to do the whole tag team thing? Or did that happen really quickly and I missed it?
[Stevie] I've just spent the afternoon having worse suggestions than that put to me by my friends. In front of my date. But I have to ask; are you speaking from experience or common sense? If the former, please give details.
on tenterhooks
[ZK] So, how did it go? Need to know! Hope your friends didn't put the cat amongst the pigeons too much!
im too horny for my own good
no doctors out there then!?
im a nurse think iv got same simptoms as you
im a guy! how so the same
oh yea. well i know your gagging for it now yea??
MY DICK IS HUGE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
before we were so rudely interrupted
[Lib] Allow me to clarify my own scrambled english. I referred to the lad in question as "the date" although the date is fact not until thursday. Although they were taking the mick so much he had to wait until I left and follow me to sort out precisely when we'd be going, as we couldn't talk sense with the rest of them around! Ah, stupid gits, though I love them all. So I'll let you all know, probably at about 3 in the morning on Friday.
[ZK] good luck, I'm sure it'll be fine. Just be yourself. Worked for me, and never mind the fact that I have been single for exactly one year today. Sob.

[Tuj] I think you missed it dude. I think. I might be thinking of MCiOS.

[travis, b laine] get the hell off this server.
Hello
No, we were going to have the tag game. The team-test game was there to test the team colours out, and the intention was for someone to start the tag game in its place. But no-one did, and some passer-by started something else instead. Your bad.
nothing at all
I'd just like to say how lovely it is not to have to use the airconditioners now that the weather's cooled off over the last fortnight. Most readers here would be used to the opposite problem, but let me assure you it's not been at all nice. And it's great to be able to walk outside without fainting from the heat and humidity. 18 to 30°C is pretty good, really.

Back to your regularly scheduled programme.

Buttock Biting
[ZK] Oh, very much from experience I am sad to say. And when Mrs Stevie found out it went very badly for me, I can tell you. She drinks far too much coffee and as a result can be a tad excitable over the most trivial things.
hampster
Strangely, I was speaking to a work colleague today, and realised that his breath smelt of hampster! I was a bit distracted, as you might imagine.
dates, figs etc
Well! Remember my radio show? The station's licence is up till march, so last night was our last show for the forseeable future. I couldn't figure out why Lottie was so jittery....until my date for this evening (now I boyfriend, I'm given to understand) turned up in the second half of the show with a bunch of red roses. I think I may be onto a winner here....
[snorgle] Said date also kissed me, an experience I tried to make as brief as possiible as I'd been eating crisps all evening, and then, later, cheese sandwiches. Breath is indeed a tricky business.
[ZK] Well, you must tell us when it's back on the air. The show, I mean, not the snogging. We wouldn't want to listen to that. Well, not most of us, anyway.
March - if we get another time slot. Though if Drinky backs us up (which I think he will) we should be alright.
I sincerely hope so. I missed the show as I was busily eating chinese food at the best chinese in the world, the hong bistro, southgate street, bath. go there, eat yourself pear shaped.

We now return you to "The Banter Page". As we left, ZK was telling us all about her love life...
Date Breath
[ZK] What flavour of crisps? Be explicit.
Well...
hampster flavour,
obviously!
Crisps
[Snorgle] You call that explicit??? Where are the long descriptive passages on the sensual texture of the comestibles and the overwhelming tide of passion they aroused in your young, inexperienced bossom, or the desire they sparked in you to dress in tight, shiny, man-made fabrics?

Now I'm hungry again.
Ready Salted
[Stevie] Here, have a crisp.
Overactive and underemployed
I'd just like to announce that I have played a move in every MC5 game today.
If you're feeling at a loose end, howsabout you expand that in the Furcation Game? It could use a bit of a kickstart, that one.
The Furcation Game
I think this game needs an advertising campaign, because I love it. I've devoted small chunks of my life to it twice now, and yes it's a behemoth, but things just seem right with the world once you've moved. Go on someone, please!
Once you've moved
(Tuj) Absolutely! I am never so agreeable as after a good shit. Ooh, wonderful! (Stevie) Wossa bossom, then? Have I got one? Have you?
crisps
[Stevie] Ready Salted, I seem to recall. Still, we had a good smooch after donuts on Thursday. Heck, he'd been eating onions and I didn't even notice.
Not that we were randomly eating onions, mind you. That would just be silly.
Furc
[Tuj] I desperately wanted to, but after about six months of not posting a move it became apparent that I don't have quite the spare time I once did. Which is a pity, because I long ago thought of a particularly devastating move which would have given new meaning to the words "it's hard to play Acre Street variants".
Proj]
Ooh... No, must remember curiosity killed the cat. Mind you, I'd imagine it's an easier task to play a move now that the dramatic strands have been conbined to some extent. Anyway, to a player of your character, surely 18 moves is nothing... ;]
18 moves?
Yes, but if I wanted to play it competitively, I'd have to do a lot more than 18 moves in order to raise the bar. :)
Benevolence
Maybe to promote other people to join in you could play a few less - after all, it is The Furcation Game rather than Acre Street. Wouldn't that be nice for the community?

Then when they're in you can get 'em...
I would participate in the Furcation Game, but I have absolutely no idea about HTML. Bit of a handicap.

[ZK] Hooray! You seeing him again?
Cross posted from MCiOS
[theatre folk] Sorry for being a bit spammy, but if you know any folks in London who are theatrically minded, Thos and I are in the early stages of planning for Jekyll and Hyde - the panto, and we're looking for a production team. If you know people who'd like to add something unpaid to their CV (but done in a proper theatre, like), please could you ask them to peek at the vacancies halfway down this page? Spam ends.
Furcating
nights, and anyone else] The HTML isn't that tricky, and as I discovered on my first move you can generally just steal other peoples' tables and the like and repaint them. Then there's that excellent basic guide people regularly post links to which I can't remember the address of...
It is a site created by our own Dr Q+ (who seems to have disappeared) and can be found here.
[nights] Well I hope so, seeing as he's my boyfriend now. Hurrah!
Of nothing
There's a sticker on my door proclaiming "Blood donors love life" which somehow feels like the opposite of a grocer's apo'strophe.
[rab] careful, you're drifting into grammar pedant territory, and I know enough of them by fortune of being a languages student.

[ZK] Oh I am pleased. Good for you!
Acquiring boyfriends..
[ZK] I think I might have one too... how many dates does it take to qualify?
Amorous taxonomy
[pen] Based on negligible experience, I think "boyfriend" is what you call it when:
  • ...you stop counting dates.
  • ...the next date is "when", not "if".
  • ...you start counting days/weeks/months since the first date.
  • ...you stop calling it "dating" and start calling it "seeing".
Nononono
The state of boy/girlfriendshipness must be formally announced, ideally through a public advertisment in The Times, but these days more commonly on the official web-based boards set up for this purpose.
Cultural differences
I always understood the situation to become officially acknowledged when, and only when, you were finally caught out behind the bike shed. Or adult equivalent, I suppose, in this case.
I think that it's when engaging in romantic liaisons with a third party would be frowned upon by the other person. Unless they're involved as well, of course. That's an entirely different matter.
Announcement
Penelope is proud to announce that after many years of searching, she has found a man with sufficiently low standards to happily accompany her for cocktails, noodles, full English breakfasts and participate in the odd snog.
[Rab] will that do?
aw it's all going off around here. let's hope nights is next, eh?
Yey Penelope!
Yey yey Penelope!
I just hope I haven't spoken too soon
I just hope he is good enough for you.
Penelope's New Love
I too enjoy "odd" snogging. It has been a cause of much friction between Mrs Stevie and me, but only when she's asleep as she finds the whole thing a little strange (or as she would jokingly put it "Get the hell away from me you twisted goon").
hmm..
What's odd about your snogging then?
Go Pen, GO!
*Dances round with a multitude of glee at Pen's excitement and sings 'Hurrah, Hurrah, Hurrah!* Well Done hon! Also keeping fingers crossed, just incase!
Well done Penelope! I thought you put "participate in the odd song" at first.
Goodness! It must be - er - something to do with autumn. I'm very pleased for you all, and kind of jealous, which is odd given my non-single status. There's something thoroughly pleasant about starting going out with someone that is intrinsically better than actually going out with them, however nice and fulfilling the latter may be. I'm sure Aristotle had something wise to say on the subject.
Inamorata di Pen
(Lib) Better than keeping your legs crossed.
that's enough of that please, ladies. hoorah for you, pen! hope it works out.
(nights) I'm not a lady, and possibly not even a gentleman. :-)
I knew I'd get a comment like that. gaaaaah.
[penelope] Er, I don't know. People asked us if we were boyfriend/girlfriend before we went on our first date, and we agreed that we were. I don't think it's supposed to be done that way. However, I hope you've got one. A boyfriend, that is. Yay! All my friends hate me now, even the taken ones. It's quite amusing.
[ZK] If your friends hate you now it must be because they nurse a secret and all-consuming love for you, and cannot stand to see you attached. This can be a problem if it leads them to murder your beau horrifically and attempt to win your love by sending you his heart through the post, but you can turn it to your advantage by cynically playing on their feelings and promising them affection in exchange for obeying your whims. Correctly done, this can result in your having a small army of emotionally warped zombies at your beck and call. Then you're the one who decides who gets horribly murdered.
Studento della lingua
Rosie] Inamorato, I'd say...
Breadmaster] When's the film version out? Sounds great!
emotionally warped zombies
[BM]I've got a friend who does that..
Gender confusion
(Tuj) And you'd be right - clever c***. :-)
ruling the world via a personal league of zombies
tempting, tempting...
I think it might be time to emigrate. goodnight everybody!
Standing ovation
Does anyone know where I can buy a hatstand?
if you want to get ahead
[Rab] cheap option - junkshop. I bet IKEA do one too...
TITFER - beech veneer bentwood hatstand, with room for three trilbys, or one beret plus a Homburg.
How smart though, to be be wearing so many hats that you actually need a hatstand!.
standing hats
[Pen] Surely if he was wearing them he wouldn't need the hatstand?
Hatstand
[Rab] By drilling a 3/4" hole in your hardwood floor and gluing a length of broomhadle into it one can fashion a hatstand in minutes.
Buy a moose. That way, you can take a selection of hats with you wherever you go without worrying about them being flattened in a suitcase.
Rosie] Charming... I almost take that as a compliment! Mind you, I'm only 300 points away from getting my PedantGold Reward Card...
Hatstand
AT a fraction of the cost of Penelope's Ikea "TITFER" (assembles in two or three evenings) and Stevie's daft "broom" lash-up one could buy a pound of ten-penny nails and pound them into the walls all over the house, providing instant access to a low-cost hatstand wherever one was when the urge or need to de-chapeauinate overcame one.
A sterling idea
Bif] Pounding takes effort though; even persuading someone else to do pounding takes effort. Now, you may think Stevie's idea takes effort, but it's effort for something seemingly pointless, bizarre and/or amusing, so that doesn't count.
These are the rules upon which society should be based. Well, they work for me.
An Objection
At the risk of incurring the Wrath of StevieTM, a not inconsiderable factor given the fearful doings of same in a strikingly diverse range of arenas, the biggest problem with the broom handle idea is that it will make an excellent hatstand for exactly one hat, notwithstanding the possibilities of stacking. There may need to be pounding of nails in order to provide sufficient hat affixation devices upon the broom handle for it to be a practical proposition.

There is the additional worry that if this broom handle pounding is performed that you will be providing a readily accessible spiked club with which one might be, how shall I put it, persuaded of the error of one's ways by an irate spouse, partner, or owner of said hardwood floor, so maybe we should just be content with the one hat after all.

Objecting
Dunx] If you've been beheaded you don't need any hats at all... My lies, my beautiful lies!
Further thoughts
I suspect that Stevie is, in his utilitarian and no-frills manner, thinking of a situation where one has only one hat, and a broom handle would therefore provide adequate hat-storage capacity. After all, you can't wear more than one hat at a time, can you? So there's no need for more. Although, to be fair, my parsimonious attempts to "slim down" all the contents of the wardrobe along this principle drew stern wrath from my own irate partner. I tried to argue that one only wears one set of underwear at at time, but this had little positive effect. So perhaps the broom handle idea would prove equally unpopular.
No, no, no...
It's actually a hatstand for two hats. Hang one, wear the other. The minor inconvenience of having to wear a hat to bed is more than made up for by the elegant and unfussy look of the stand.
*makes her way to IKEA just off the A720 in Edinburgh*
"One TITFER please. Can you deliver it to Rab in town this afternoon?? Thank you."
On line
Hello again from an infrequent visitor. I'm now PC'd and broadbanded-up at home, so might be about a bit more. (Not immediately though, I'm off for a pint to celebrate getting this thing working!) Is everyone enjoying their weekend?
Before I depart for that pint.....
Can anyone point me in the direction of Dr Q's handy guide to HTML?
Here it is.
After more than just one pint
Thanks Darren, you are a wonderful person.
bladderd still and lost
Bring back missiv trellis
[splooge] We've got a Missive Trellis game running on Orange MC at the moment ("The Epistle of Mrs Trellis").
[Bigsmith] yes I am thanks, I've got a week off from lectures. hooray for reading week!
[nights] Enjoy!
tales from the front line
[everybody] you'll like this. while working at *a certain well-known UK supermarket chain* on saturday, I had a woman refuse to pay for her shopping, because the total was £6.66. she had to buy some chewing gum, mainly out of fright, before she would cough up. honestly. just a number.
Man trouble
I spoke too soon. :o(. I'd pay for the £6.66 shopping - everything else I do appears to be jinxed, what more could go wrong? Double :o(
uh-oh
Poo.
neighbour
[nights] Couldn't you offer her 1p cashback and charge her £6.67?
[pen] :o(
no.
[bool] long story, but no. cashback of 1p would be more trouble than it's worth, in many varied and frightening ways.
[pen] he's not worth it...
[pen] what? nooo! why?
Foolishness
[nights] More proof, were any needed, that the entire human race is totally beyond help and needs to be culled urgently before more stupidity is committed. You should have told her that "666" is only one possible reading of the verse, and that variants exist, notably "646", and I don't see anyone worrying about that. It's just about Nero anyway.
Further to this, consider the exceptionally annoying experience I had today. I went to the bank to draw a bank draft in foreign currency that I urgently need to send abroad. They told me that they can write a bank draft in pounds on the spot, but one in foreign currency has to be done by the head office, and takes a week to arrive. I asked why they can't do one on the spot. They told me they didn't have the equipment. I asked what equipment they required for this that wasn't required to write one in pounds. They looked shifty and muttered something about printing and exchange rates. I decided to give up on the argument rather than start asking them how a bank was unable to determine an exchange rate - I mean, if only head office can do it, why can't they ring them up and ask? I also decided not to press the matter of its taking a week to arrive from head office - do they send it by donkey? This is the kind of ridiculous rubbish we have to put up all the time. Insane, arbitrary rules that make no sense whatsoever, and for which no explanation is offered. For God's sake, how much harder is it to write a draft in Singapore dollars than it is to write one in pounds? I also restrained myself from correcting the bank person's execrable English ("They can send it to us or to yourself..." - "yourself" is reflexive, you mouth-breathing moron!). Why can't anyone in London talk properly?
I'm going to go and simmer down now. This is how I get after night shifts...
Yourself
'Yourself' as misused by e.g. hapless bank tellers is usually a sort of attempt to sound professional or formal by someone who is not sufficiently in command of the language to be able to do so properly. I find it grates too, but telling myself that does reduce the irritation quotient - a bit.
I do my 'bear with a sore head' impressions in the mornings, such as today, when I was woken up by the Jehovah's Witnesses Q: 'Did I disturb you?' A: 'Yes.' The fellow should have withdrawn gracefully then, rather than trying to run through his spiel. It was not appreciated.
Door knockers
I sympathise, Simons Mith. Some years ago I seem to have stumbled across a method of reducing/eliminating nuisance calls from the Mormon bretheren. I had a shop at the time. A couple of their 'missionaries' came a-knocking in an endeavour to sell me their wares. In a shop, for heaven's sake! Anyway it was a quiet day so I took them on. An hour or so later, with only a few short interruptions for customer attention, they left - leaving me with a copy of The Book of the Mormon (interestingly sub-titled Another Testament of Jesus Christ) and a promise to pop back in a few days to give me time to have a look through it. They did not return. Disappointing in one way, most pleasing in another.
J.W.s
Luckily for me Bigsmith Towers is equiped with a large forward facing bay window, so (during the hours of daylight at least) i can see the buggers coming. This gives me the time to dust off and cue up a bit of good old death metal - something like Venom or Cradle of Filth - strip to my underpants and answer the door with can of Stella in hand. They don't stay long....
Door-to-door religion salesmen
What's their success rate like, I wonder? It strikes me that anyone vulnerable to this sort of thing would have succumbed years ago, and then would sell out to the Mormons and so on as each came round in turn. If their success rate truly is zero, WHY DO THEY WASTE EVERYBODY'S TIME DOING IT!?
Another testament of Jesus Christ...
...from the author that brought you "Blessed Are The Meek", "Render Unto Caesar" and "Oooh, this Cross Stings A Bit".
Dim Wits
I've often wondered about that myself, Simons Mith. After all, if my forebears are to be believed, even the tramps used have a 'secret' code which they scribed before someone's dwelling to indicate 'Probable', 'Possible', 'Unlikely' and 'Don't go in there the dog will eat your balls and dump your remains in the bin'. Then again, most tramps are probably better organised (and intelligent?) than those of whom we speak.
I can just imagine it, Projoy: Bible IV The Ultimate Experience - Includes the Creator's Cuts.
annoying door people
I live in a student house, and it was a student house for many years previous. I think they've learnt that we have absolutely NO surplus money - it all goes to tescos or over the bar. and I generally tell jehovah's witnesses I'm jewish. gets rid of them.
I love it when Jehovah's Witnesses come round. I engage them in discussion and refute them. Unfortunately, they tend to be a bit thick and not realise they've been refuted. Eventually they try to get away but I don't let them. It helps if you have a Bible to hand, since their Bibles are subtly rewritten, for some peculiar reason. They're obsessed with the bit about the sea in Revelation.
seeing them off the premises
An acquaintance of mine found they left pretty sharpish when he fired a shotgun into his own living room ceiling.
Try to reason with Jehovah's Witnesses. Score 1 point for each time they try to prove something by saying "but it says so in the Bible". Score 5 points if they agree that something in their manual isn't as accurate as it should be. Score 10 points if they want to leave plus get a bonus 5 points for getting a free Watchtower. I got 26 points once.
I live in a flat now, with an entryphone, so I never get them anymore. I did used to enjoy arguing with them, but if I am in that mood nowadays, I can simply come on here and say something that I know will get Breadmaster going :).
I wonder that the JWs haven't yet thought of email spam as a method of disseminating the good news.
witnessing
They don't try very hard around here - a couple came to my door, quite elderly and passed over 2 free Watchtowers without saying much more than hello. The lady asked me if I thought Jesus was born on Xmas Day, so I just said "I dunno" and shut the door.
Unwanted callers
I have learned from experience that a little politeness goes a long way: for example:

Double-glazing salesperson: "I just want to ask you - if you could have any room in your house double-glazed for free, which would it be?
Self: "None of them, but thanks for calling." [Click]

Financial services salesperson: "Do you have a couple of minutes to take part in a customer survey?
Self: "No, but thanks for calling." [Click]

Door to door religious salesperson: "Can I interest you in the word of the Lord?
Self: "No, but thanks for stopping by." [Click]

I find that the little gesture of politeness catches them momentarily off their guard and enables you to put the phone down or close the door with a clear conscience and without leaving an opportunity for comeback.

[Projoy] I hope you're not lumping me together with Jehovah's Witnesses! Reminds me, for some reason, of the old and rather silly joke, according to which a man sees someone about to jump off a high building and attempts to talk him down. He tries, "Do you believe in God?" "Why, yes," replies the would-be suicide. "What a coincidence!" says the rescuer. "So do I! Are you a Christian, Jew, or Muslim?"
"I'm a Christian."
"What a coincidence, so am I! Are you Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, Coptic, Persian?"
"I'm a Protestant."
"Why, so am I! Are you Lutheran, Reformed, Anglican, Methodist, Baptist, Evangelical Free, Pentecostalist, Quaker, or Anabaptist?"
"Reformed."
"Me too! Are you Remonstrant or Non-Remonstrant?"
"I'm Non-Remonstrant."
"So am I! Are you Prelapsarian or Supralapsarian?"
"Supralapsarian."
At which the would-be rescuer pushes him off the ledge, shouting, "Die, you heretic!"
[Kim] on the one hand, you're right, and I should probably make the effort to be pleasant. on the other hand, being forced to say "thanks for shopping at *a certain well-known UK based supermarket chain* " really gets on my nads, so I feel like all my politeness has been used up.

however, I DO manage to say "cheers drive" to every bus driver I meet, and on a good (or possibly bad) week, that's at least 20. thank goodness I've got a bus pass.
Drivers
[nights] I know two people with bus driving experience, both of whom detest with a vengeance being addressed as "Drive". Unlucky, I say.
Slightly more Celebdaq
Just interupt and barge in for one moment, one of my other Celebdaq accounts Not the Ant Hill Mob is on the front page at No5. *jumps up and runs round the room again*
celebbing
I got to No. 4 on the front page once *sigh*. Now, I think both my accounts have lapsed - both newjustine and evil_edna. :o(
trumpet blowing
I'm pleased that I'm currently second here.
There is nothing like a dame ....
Gosh. We currently have no less than 3 Knights Of The Realm/Garter/RoundTable gracing the Home Page - Sir Henry, Sir Joseph Ba'guette and Sir George the er .. hesitant.
They're becomin' orflay commonplace nowadays ..
Gravelly voice
Hello, Chorlkey... nice to see you pop in for a bit.
deep velvet voice
Why thank you, kind rabster. Why so gravelly?
Acksherly, I did a bit of popping last week but have now fully completed my peregrinations abroad so should get the chance to pop in for lots of bits from now on :-)
Just had some aggregate delivered, you see...

Meanwhile, I wish the person calling the phone in the next office would get used to the idea there's nobody there...

Aggregate
(rab) And what did it come to, in total?
[Bigsmith] on the other hand, half of the bus drivers in Bath are Polish, so they probably don't get it.
driving
I usually thank the bus driver, just with a "Thanks". Mind you, in Cardiff, they come in for a lot of abuse including being stoned and shot, so I feel sorry for them.
Bus drivers
I have more contact with bus drivers than is good... too much public transport usage! And a "cheers" or "thanks" usually suffices, 'cause generally they're very moody. I've only ever met one nice one, and he was actually a scheduler/office worker or summat who'd been drafted in to drive the last bus of the day. Still, he gave me a lift about 8 miles off-route and didn't crash into anything, so I'm not complaining.
round the bend
I once got on a local bus in Pontypridd, driven by the usual driver, who was very nice ordinarily. Unfortunately he had just broken up with his girlfriend and seemed to have a deathwish - as we drove along some roads with very steep drops without stopping the whole trip it was a wee bit scary..
Bussage
In Edinburgh the whole 'to-thank-or-not-to-thank' dilemma is solved by having exit doors in the middle of the bus. Communication with the drivers seems to be strictly discouraged, in fact, by virtue of them sitting in a perspex isobooth. Your fare is poured into a slot, whereupon the driver presses a button to signal its descent down the chute of destiny into the locked safe of eternity (they don't, famously, give change). The ticket appears from a hole in the wall. The whole thing works so that even eye contact with the driver is a near impossibility... I quite like it that way.
Bus drivers
In a more civilised and less cost-conscious world we'd have bus conductors and the driver could get on with his job undistracted, and undelayed.
I had the eerie experience last night of travelling on a coach whose driver had the exact same name as me. I'd never met anyone else with my name before. It's decidedly creepy.
My colleagues googled me and discovered someone with my name that they claim also looks exactly like me. I dispute this (not only because he's over 50 and American). But I'm still slightly disturbed.
Someone with my name draws Harry Potter fan art. Someone else is a pop star. And another one is head of a Meat Board (?) or something, if I remember correctly. But I'm the best one. :)
Whereas I (as could a great many people I suspect) can be fairly sure that my name is unique, even if we discount my middle name. Anybody with my surname is a member of my father's-side family and due to cultural/ethnic reasons, the probability of any of them sharing my first name is extremely low.
According to google, I have one phonetic namesake (ie her name is spelled wrong) who's a successful college runner in the US. Anyone who knows me will know she's not me as I'm crap at running, whereas I am rather brilliant at writing - she doesn't have any google-indexed articles published on the Institute of Biology's website.
[LotUS] Are they all Lords of the Under-Stairs?
[auto-googling] - I'm a professor in Vermont. What's slightly more surprising is that I'm female.
Namesakes
I'm not going to bother googling - there are at least three more of me who work for the same company as I do (and the bastards never forward me messages or post they get by mistake). On another subject I've started this last week or so re-playing my old collection of CD singles in alphabetical order. The batch in hand currently are by Claytown Troupe, Close to the Hype, a couple by Marc Cohn, and Tommy Conwell & the Young Rumblers. Happy memories....
Namesakes
One of my old piano teachers claimed to have *another* student also called Jonathan Ellis...

However, he lacked (1) the same middle name as me, and more importantly (2) the ability to learn something such as Chopin's Polonaise in A flat in less than a week, be able to hack the second half of Rachmaninov's cello sonata in four days or - as happened today - when accompanying a baroque-music oboe class in which the student was playing on a modern instrument and the teacher on a Baroque instrument which was tuned a semitone flatter - to sight-read the same piece both in the original A minor and transposed into A flat minor, switching between them every two minutes depending on which one of the two was playing which instrument at the time.

Which is why I make a reasonably survivable living that pays the bills and mortgage working freelance at the RNCM: whereas he gave up the piano completely, went to study law, and had two houses and no mortgages within the first four years after completing his studies... *sigh*

I'm pretty good at some things as well.
Hern
Especially creating confusion in the Mini Cheddars game.
actually I think I had a hand in that. ooops.
[JLE] *empathetic sigh*
well, I'm hopeless at handstands but quite good at Guinness casseroles
small cheeses
(nights) Can't see anything wrong with your contribution. :-)
Winter clean
Hello. On one of my occasional wander-throughs I noted that the lost consonants game is now a year old. I thought things were looking a little dusty around here, but I didn't realise that dusty. I moot a winter clean, and the start of, at least, a team game since I went to the trouble of writing the team-colours strap-on. Only thing holding me back is that I'm currently an active participant in practically zero of the games, so who am I to say anything?
[rab] seconded. lost consonants has been discussing its own end lately - why not put it out of its misery.
Lost Consonants must be retied! I want to lay a new game!
Make Way! Make Way!
Well, I've just made some space by taking advantage of poor defending at Here and There. So Lost Consonants may still have some tim to save itself.
Spirited away
[INJ] That's the spirit!
Electronic tagging
So, anyone up for a spot of tag wrestling?
oo-er
[rab]Strap-on? Thank you for an interesting mental image on a boring (ie nothing whatsoever to do) work day. ;)
Kicking heels
So no tag game then...
Inkers] Personally I'm very much up for it, though wondering how many teams we'll have. Has the mising consonants game received a stay of execution? Unless his rabness just wishes to make the tag game because it has already entailed some effort... ;]
'netiquette
< moan > In the past, new games have been launched AFTER consultation [however brief] in here. Seems as though the latest three have appeared without a by-your-leave. I'm all for following up rab's hard work with a Team Colours Tag Game but just wish I could be here when a slot appears. < /moan >
Perhaps a bout of serial killing is called for ...
*Offers Chalky a silver hammer*
[Chalky] Thank you for saying what I wanted to say, but declined for fear of appearing overly heavy-handed. In fact I've half a mind to kill all the games, and start afresh...
freshness?
[rab] Seeking a feeling of freshness? Try changing your underpants!
naaah, I'm all for a few changes. Go ahead. Cull a few.
From the eats, shoots and leaves department
Email just received: "I have mail for Dr. Factory Mallard. Please email me, his room number or department."

[pen] May I assure you that my gussets are always lemon-fresh.

I agree with everybody. a fresh start is a scary prospect, but quite an attractive one I'll admit. kill some things that seem twisted and nasty, and plant some fresh young vibrant things. or start a new game, whichever you prefer.
What the Furc...
The Furcation Game is an undoubted work of art, but the last serious move [Tuj] was 4 months ago and it seems to be in a sufficient state of decay to be attracting the local graffiti artists. Is anyone planning another megapost, or should it quietly pass into history?
Furcing hell
I vote for putting it below the line. It can always be reinstated on special occasions, monarch's birthdays and the like as required. Except I'll have to do this 'behind the scenes' as the game is, in fact, unwinnable. One more vote (from someone like Tuj, Martha or matt) and I'll do it.
Oh, and can I suggest that for Tag Wrestling, the two team colours be navy and crimson?
*rushing in and out *
Bags I be Crimson - [navy don't look much different on my browser]- please someone start the game - haven't even got time to look back and see what we consenced on ... never mind compose a suitably beguiling, witty pre-match talk ...
OK, how about cornflower blue instead?
Lovely, petal :-)
Tagnation
Who's in which team?
I guess you join the team who's turn it is by making a move.
rab] Or the cornflower team if you want to win, of course.
Re: the games crisis (or not), I'm of course staunchly in favour of keeping the Furcation Game going, which hopefully doesn't make me unique... unless you want to cryogenically freeze it (with its own special not-quite-in-the-archives bit on the games list, o' coruse) - provided something similarly gargantuan is put up in its stead, like Acre Street or a Long Winded Variant. Just to discourage the itninerant game starters Chalky moaned about (seconded). And what exactly has been got into with the "what have i got myself into" game? Its ugly unpunctuated appearance on the page angers me...
NB
"O' coruse" is ancient Gaelic for "naturally". That did affect the punctuation of that sentence too...
Blimey Tuj - such erudition! But glad you're still speaking to me :-) [clue = Scissor Sisters]
I'll be brutally honest, I've never understood the furcation game, so it's passing is no great worry to me.

I wish I could look at the rest of the site but I have printing to do so it'll have to wait until lunchtime now. bother.
Special status
I think a special status for the Furcation Game would be appropriate... I'll just have to think a little about what that would actually mean.
I vote special status for the Furc Game. So there :oP
Jolly Good
And that might just be the fillip I need to get cracking with a new move over the Christmas break.
it's a sad state of affairs when I'm on campus from 08h45, and my first opportunity to check these boards is now, 17h07. today, however, has been an exceptionally busy day. grr.
Business
Students working... whatever next?
rab] Good luck with Fillip. And was that really Martha Farquar?
[tuj] crikey I hadn't noticed... hello Martha!
[rab] oh hee hee, yes we're all awfully lazy, we never work, etc etc...
[nights] Who said Uni. wasn't a good training ground for a 9 to 5 job? Welcome to the real world, sir. The world where such hours are considered to be short and there's no student union available for cheap beer and there's no lovely undergraduates gracing the premises and where everyone grows old and where ... *sobs*
PC erratum
That should have read: " . . . no intelligent . . . "
Time-inappropriate recreational activity
(Duj) So what are you doing in here during working hours? We know where you live. :-)
Trawling for intelligent undergraduates, Rosie. I thought that was obvious. .   ;-)
Yeah, 'n mi 'ouse is allus open for them I just said, rite?
[nights] That was a tongue-in-cheek comment.

But what's going on here? Why was the Tag Wrestling just killed like that instead of having another round? Why are other games that should have been killed twenty years ago still limping on with festering wounds and a slightly disgusting smell? Why do I bother?

[rab] sorry I don't think my eyes were focusing. looking at it now you were being quite clearly humourous, and my brain just didn't process it. It's doing that a worrying amount. gaaah. I'll not bring up university again.
and I'm not sure why you bother, but I really am glad you do, as it gives largely computer illiterate buffoons like me the chance to have a bit of a laugh on a daily basis, and that's something to be pleased with, I think.

[Dujon] it's ok, I know full well what 9 to 5 is like, I do it most summers (well, the last two anyway) at our local council as an admin assistant. unlike a lot of students, I do actually know what work IS (moan moan moan, grumble, shake wiggle wiggle - I'll shut up now.)
Sorry if I seem grumpy today - the reason being that I am. A slight hangover is not helping the fact that due to a "system error" (aka fuckup) I've not been paid. And since I've not yet had any opportunity to hand anyone my P45, I expect that when the 'emergency payment' is made on Monday (assuming no further fuckups) it'll be taxed to buggery as well and take about six months to sort itself out. I really have no idea why we pay these people.
looking on the bright side
Perhaps they haven't been paid either :-)
Non-payment
(rab) Are you a victim of Capita, or Crapita as Private Eye calls them? Why do we pay these people? Because they're cheap and nasty and cheapness is all that matters. Chalky's suggestion, though a comfort, is implausible.
(Takes deep breath before launching into boring story of evil ex-boss) Let me tell you about my evil ex-boss. He was the most evil and deeply twisted person I have ever imagined (apart from my sister, obviously). He trusted nobody. Thus, my immediate boss was in charge of the company's finances, but he couldn't sign cheques. Only Bob (EE-B) could do that. And if Bob didn't want to sign a cheque, he wouldn't. Thus, cheques that had been written to pay bills were rudely returned to us if the bill had not already gone beyond the second warning and become a lawyer's letter setting a date for the court action ("ONLY AN IDIOT PAYS A BILL WHEN IT ARRIVES!"). This principle extended to employees' wages, which were also all paid by cheque. If Bob was in a bad mood (which was pretty much all the time) he would simply not sign them and we would all have to wait indefinitely for our money. What of our contracts? Ha, we didn't have any, because Bob didn't like contracts. Why did anyone work there? People either left within a couple of days or had their spirits utterly broken and became trapped. I escaped after seven months. I would further list Bob's other charming characteristics (his habit of chain-smoking cheap American cigars, his casual racism and sexism, his astonishing right-wing views, his incomprehensibility, owing to a combination of an American accent with the effects of having chain-smoked said cigars for, apparently, several centuries) but I won't. The point is: we considered ourselves lucky if we got paid at all.
My boss is great, honestly. Sorry. Anyway, shouldn't we be enjoying ISAHAC on the airwaves about now? Or have I missed it?
ISIHAC
The new series beings on 06/12/04 with Linda Smith joining the regulars at the Anvil Theatre, Basingstoke. Andy Hamilton will be guesting at the New Theatre, Hull, followed by a Best of the Year show on 27/12/04. After that I'm not sure
:) :) :) :) :)
new series of ISIHAC? martha you've made me the happiest man in the south west. off to the pub to celebrate - watch out for drunken postings later on!
Oh, forgot to mention...
Hamish and Dougal's Hogmanay, featuring an all-star cast and copious tea-drinking, on New Year's Eve at 11.20pm. And there's a News Quiz of the Year. And the rest of the Xmas TV schedule sucks
Radio, I meant. And the TV schedule succks too, but that goes without saying

Zhooomph!!

What was that??
I don't know, it went without saying
[Martha] Many thanks for the information.
Cull
6 games below the line... And the Furcation Game to sort of so on the line... and I have half a mind to give "what have i got myself into" the euthanasia treatment... Exciting times. New tag variant very good.
Hmm, put a rogue "so" in there. No idea why.
[Tuj] perhaps to keep the rest of us on our toes. I'd do some euthanising myself but I'm frankly afraid to, given the jolly big mess I made on Orange.
Saedi
nights] Of course, what would really shake things up would be to end the Long Game and the Limericks game and replace those with reverse versions too...
[Tuj] The Reverse Long Game would never start!
There did used to be a Long esreveR Game at York, which eventually began, I believe.
Wouldn't an esreveR game simply be Reverse Reverse, and therefore normal?
*opens mouth to give smart-aleck answer, then closes it again when he realises how confused he is*
I have mooed a new direction for the lost consonant game. Not sure if it will ork.
Lemon fresh
Hmmm... things are certainly feeling much fresher round here. Job update: I now, finally, have a contract. I'm going to head along to salaries after a lunchtime meeting so I have the whole afternoon to moan at people. Looking forward to it...
Where am I?
Thought I'd taken a wrong turn for a minute then! Just returned from a fortnight's jolly to find all the furniture at home moved into different rooms (due to flood) and a similarly re-vamped MC site (although with rather less water involved and altogether more entertaining). [Rab] good for you! Get it all out of your system - you'll feel much better!
Scary Mary
Hello there, Ella. I was wondering what had happened to you - and hoping we hadn't scared you off. Didn't get much moaning done, sadly - everything seems to have worked out. Indeed, my pension contributions may even have been kept up to date, which is the main thing. Now... let's see how/when/if I can get a staff card...
Petrified
I'm not scared Rab, but should I be?
[rab] hooray that your job problems got sorted out - I'm going through a bit of a 'mare with *a certain well known UK based supermarket chain*, oddly enough, about contracts. I'm still on one contract, even though I should be on a higher one as I do more hours a week than that. grr. still, at least the christmas carols over the PA haven't started yet.
[Ella] No, no, no, no, no. Of course not. Nothing to be worried about at all. Perfectly normal group of people here. No risk, no danger. Nothing to worry about. No need to worry about a thing. Just ignore rab. Don't worry about a thing.
*leaves trail of dust as she leaves Mornington Cresent at high speed* :-)
Ella
Silly girl, doesn't she know she's in spoon? Running away won't fix that ...
it's gone awful quiet on here, so I'm going to borrow a technique from a message board I used to frequent. So, what is everyone listening to?
One side of a colleague's telephone conversation and the annoyingly-pitched fan in my laptop. In the distance is the quiet, repetitive shhh-clunk of a digital copying machine...
office sounds
The hum and grind of the printer trying to staple 400 documents, the tap of keyboards, and the intermittent muttered oaths and curses of colleagues as they get on with their day-to-day work. And I'm hoping that sometime soon, one of them is going to ask me if I want any lunch fetching from the supermarket... some hope.
I'm listening to PMQT. Rock on!
A presentation given by students at a posh 'do' at the top of Canary Wharf tower :) Nobody's asking any questions.
My colleague, typing. And the distant waft of Christmas CDs from the adjacent office.
An episode of the Simpsons I've got on the DVD player. (The joys of working at home.)
(aka penelope)
This is to let you know that on Monday December 13th there will be a special recording at the Cochrane Theatre, Southampton Row, London WC1 (nearest tube: Holborn) of a show starring the cast of "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" and entitled "Hamish & Dougal's Hogmanay Special", which is due to transmit on Radio 4 on New Year's Eve from 11.30pm till Midnight.
Regular listeners to "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" will know of Hamish and Dougal from their frequent appearances in the 'Sound Charades' round. Radio 4 have already broadcast two series featuring Hamish & Dougal, starring Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden in the title roles, with Alison Steadman playing their housekeeper Mrs Naughtie, and Jeremy Hardy playing the local laird.
This one-off special show will include the regular cast, with appearances from Humphrey Lyttelton, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Sandi Toksvig and Colin Sell, with some additional surprise guests. The show starts recording at 7.30pm, with doors opening at 7pm.
The Cochrane is not a large theatre (there are just 300 seats available) so you'll need to act soon to secure a ticket. The tickets cost £8 each and are obtainable from the theatre's box office on 020 7269 1606. Tickets will be on sale from today (Wednesday 1st December) From 1.30pm and thereafter the box office is open from 10am-6pm Monday to Friday, and 12pm-3pm on Saturday and Sunday. If the tickets have not sold out by the send of the week we will put them on sale to the general public. The next series of 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue' starts transmitting on Radio 4 on Monday 6th December at 6.30pm, with a repeat on the following Sunday at 12.04pm. It runs for six weeks including a 'Best Of' programme from the past year. Recordings of the Spring Series of the show in 2005 will probably take place in May or June, so expect notification of these recordings in March or April.
La musica
nights] You've asked this before. And the answer is 1) my stomach gurgling and 2) Lemon Jelly.
listening
OK - this is WAY later than you asked the question - but I am currently listening to a prog on BBC1 about Brian Wilson [Beach Boys] and Pet Sounds.

It's actually quite interesting.

[Chalky] If I didn't know better, I'd think you were damning with faint praise. As it happens, I'd meant to watch that but I completely forgot.
[tuj] have I? oopsie. good choice though. I personally am listening to winter chill 2003, kind of appropriate for such a cold day.
This morning, I am mostly listening to my Christmas Pan Pipes CD, which will no doubt cause a great deal of annoyance to anyone in the immediate vicinity.
[Darren] Shame you missed it :-)

Does anyone fancy revisiting Animal/Vegetable/Mineral/Abstract?

Baa
Am I alone in not appreciating Pet Sounds? Yes there is the odd good track but as an album it's rather lacking I find.
I'm bored...
Why does work seem sooo unappealing on some days? The only music I have on my hard drive is The The's Soul Mining album... or I suppose I could tune into Xfm or Radio 4 online and tell anyone who doesn't like it to butt out... Or maybe I could just leave a full hour and a half before I actually should to head for Park Lane and a photoshoot I'm to direct. Heheheh.
I wish I still lived in London
[pen] go for xfm, I'll appreciate it. mainly because I miss it from those lovely days when I lived in London.

[chalky] yes please, if memory serves that one's full of hilarity, and fibre.
I wish I lived in London
[nights] Someone else who loves London! People think I'm mad when I say I'd like to live there.
London
(Raak) Depends where you are at the moment. For my part, I would find a small to medium sized town a living death, however traffic-free it were, but it suits some people, I'm sure.
I am now, to the utter horror of the rest of the office, enjoying Nigel Ogden's Wurlitzer Christmas.
[UK] you're just like my Dad. He has asked me for, in all seriousness (I think - it was on the phone), The Organist Entertains on CD for christmas. aaaaargh.

[Raak, anyone that'll listen] I really miss London at the moment - things to do that aren't uni, work or pub!
[Rosie] I'm in Norwich, which is as you describe. I have to go to Cambridge or London for proper culture.
[nights] Where are you at the moment?
[Raak] If you've been in Norwich more than a year or two and it still doesn't have any culture, it's probably your own fault. If the people who like a certain thing always go to some other place to get it, they perpetuate the situation in which there's a market for that thing in that other place and none in the place they come from. Therefore, people in Norwich who like a certain kind of culture should never leave it, and they'll thereby coerce the place into being the sort of place they like to be in.

(It also helps if you kill off everyone who actively opposes the sort of thing you like.)

What's
a wurlitzer, Uncle Korky? It sounds amusing.
Wurlitzer
Is it animal, vegetable, mineral, or abstract? Or maybe a high-speed land vehicle?
I believe a Wurlitzer is a specialised piece of plumbing equipment manufactured from pig trotters using a proprietary process in certain secretive factories in the former East Germany. Highly sought after by installers of bidets, the common Wurlitzer can only be purchased if the buyer is recommended to the vendor by at least two other customers and after placing a bond of thirteen Austrian schillings in a specific numbered Swiss bank account.

It became fashionable as a jazz instrument in the Berlin salons of the 1920s, because of its resolutely unmelodious nature in all but the most skilled of hands (just like, say, the double bass) but mostly because it could be eaten in extremity (very much unlike, say, the double bass).

Apple Ogies
We apologies for this sudden outbreak of lying in what is usually a much more truth-inclined space.

Oh well.

Nonsense. Utter tosh! I tell you it's an instrument consisting of a broad, flat cylinder with holes drilled radially into it at regular intervals, affixed to a length of string to its center. It's also cunningly made with vanes set into it so that it will spin when swung round by its cord, with the result that it produces a most harmonious tone. It got its name when its first purchaser, speaking to a somewhat deaf salesman, said "I'll certainly enjoy showing my friends this, er... how do you say it?" To which the salesman, thinking he had been asked "how do you play it?", replied: "Whirl it, sir."
sorry, i'd groan, but...
Aargghh!
Can someone please cuff Dan around the ears.
Edible instruments
(Dunx) A double bass is probably the most edible of all instruments, being almost entirely wood. Saw it up, pulp it and serve it as a slurry with hot milk and demerara sugar, and you have the perfect high-fibre breakfast cereal. In one end and out the other, unchanged, giving the possibility of recycling after suitable purification.
Edible instruments II
[Rosie] I think you'll need to figure out how to strip away the strings during the automated production line of your perfect breakfast cereal. Otherwise people halfway across the world may think it's a brilliant idea.
Well, it's a...
I'm wondering what treats might be on Nigel Ogden's Wurlitzer Christmas. In a Persian Christmas Supermarket? In A Christmas Monastery Garden? Oh, I Do Like To Be Beside The Christmas Seaside?
Is it time to start the 'Bah! Humbug! I hate Christmas!' discussion yet?
it is most certainly time to start the "I hate Christmas" discussion (well apart from the religious meaning, but that's another story). point one - explosion in heart-rending charity adverts. I really don't like them.

[Raak] beautiful Bath still - however it's probably more to do with the fact that I have a rather large amount of work at the moment, and I don't have time for anything other than work, uni or pub. sorry, I think I was in a really crap mood when I posted that one.
humbugs
[penelope] Move here, you'll miss it entirely, but you'll have to put up with the azaan five times a day :-)
(miss Christmas, that was)
Late response to Dan
Look at THIS, it's awesome!
I had too
Sorry, I'm a little excitable today... hehehe...
Not only but also
Oh, and are we going to play Animal/Vegetable/Mineral/Abstract? If s, can we do some sort of colourful variant?
[Tuj] How about Animal/Vegetable/Mineral/Abstract or any combination thereof PLUS the colour[s] of said 'object'. Am I taking you too literally?
Chalky] Pass... I just like the colours a lot and want to reward rab's endeavour by having them used in lots of games. Plus it might spawn some new hybrid game, which is always good!
[Tuj] Have you ever noticed that if you search for pretty much any word in Google image search, there is a Toothpaste for Dinner cartoon which includes it?
ISIHAC
so, what did we all think of the new ISIHAC? I didn't hear it last night, I was on the bus (which crashed into another bus, but that's for a later date when I have more time), but I have four hours of research ahead of me later so I'll pull it up on 'listen again'.
[nights] Pretty good, as always. The new guest, Linda someone-or-other, was fine.
dodgy lines
Between the Lines seems to have come up with some odd colours, if in doubt the altenative web colours are;
< font color= “#800000” > for Bakerloo
< font color= “#FF6347” > for Central
< font color= “#FFFF00” > for Circle
< font color=> “#32CD32” for District
< font color= “#DEB887” for East London
< font color= ” #FF00FF” > for Hammersmith and City
< font color= “#C0C0C0” > for Jubilee
< font color= “#BA55D3” > for Metropolitan
< font color= “#191970” > for Northern
< font color= “#4169E1” > for Piccadily
< font color= “#1E90FF” > for Victoria
< font color= “#B0E0E6” > for Waterloo and City
< font color= “#8DBC8F” > for Docklands Light Railway
< font color= “#6B8E23” > for National Rail

It's all very pretty, dear Inkspot, and forgive my thickitude, but what exactly is the reason/point/aim?
[Chalky] I'm not clear what the Between the Lines game is supposed to be, really, but I'm assuming it's MC where (a) your name colour has to match the stations you play, and (b) to switch lines, you need to use a station which actually lies on an intersection between them. So far, though, I don't think that's the way people have been playing it. Still, that (and my almost inevitable lack of grasp of the whole thing meaning these rules are totally useless) is what happens if you don't explain the rules at the top of the game properly.
Bad lines
The idea came from wishing to use the colourised name whatsit that rab has introduced in a game of MC. Then it came to me to use the colours of the lines from the Tube map. Unfortunately the new game slot stayed open (for what seemed like several days) and so the game idea festered.
While it was gnawing away, I wondered about stations like Canada Water and Sloane Square. Could these be incorporated into the stance? Keeping it as simple as possible, a colour for the player and in the text…. sounded good at the time, this may have been one idea too far.

There you have it a colourised experimental game. If play becomes fraught it will make way for something else. Is there a point? After watching Paul Burrel eat a kangaroo’s testicle … probably not.

Bad lines
*ahem* [cattily]
... passing through
Is it just me or is there an air of despondency in here? I was up and about quite early this am, popped in to have a look and moved swiftly on ...
I couldn't even think of a faux french line 5 for the limerick, diverted as I was by Korky's bream :-) Don't wanna play colours or tag, don't wanna tell lies or furcate, the current regurgitated cheddar is looking tricky, the consonants have lost their way ... oh dear oh dear oh dear. Ah well - at least I'm posting in here :-)
[Chalks] You've put your finger on it for me. Stagnant limericks are usually easy to shift - I just write a crap last line, then start a new one, hoping others will follow with renewed vigour. I really think Lost Consonants has had it - time to say goodbye. The Colours Game is too complicated to work out for the time I have available to post at work, I'm not old enough to Furcate, and we've been too clever by half in the current regurgitation. I'm gonna go in there and play some crap moves to shift this constiptation. Hold tight... !
Poo
Tee hee, "crap moves to shift constipation" - what a lovely image, penelope. Chalky, I quite agree.
[chalky] I see what you mean, but then I like lying. it's good practise for in real life.
ISIHAC
Jack Dee will be the special guest for programmes 5 and 6 of the new series, coming from the Assembly Hall Theatre in Tunbridge Wells (10/1/05 and 17/1/05)
If anyone is going to be in the audience for those two, let me know as we could probably meet up. I couldn't get tickets myself, but I am nonetheless local.
giving a nod to ...
Penelope the Purgative
Rab the Agreeable
Nights the .. er .. seer and deceiver
and anyone else who has posted and brightened up this place :-)
Previous post... I mean was in the audience for.
Deep and calming breaths
Chalky] Time to brighten things up... And I definitely agreed with pen on the consonants I'm afraid. And on the poop analogy...
If you need a new game, just go ahead and make one - could there be a better place (even for just an idea)?.
OK, a touch over the top;
but I bet it got your attention!
Let my ice fingers close over your heart...
...let my drear mornings offer you no hope of sunshine to come. I shall not rest my snows nor my gloomy rains until torpor reigns in the Morniverse and nothing is but glumness, glumness everywhere. Hibernate, run from me, or try to endure me - you cannot prevent me nor the keening grey sorrow of the moods I offer.
[spirit] a popular phrase in my house... "oooo-kaaay..." (say it out loud, slightly like jim carrey *shudder*)

[chalky] thanks... I think. I do my best.
[Tuj] yes it did!

[The Spirit of Winter]
Bring on your frosts of spectre-grey, your frozen leaves and skies of dun! The weakening eye of day can never chill; for friendship doth not turn cold when that warm heart that beats deep within fires the furnace of goodwill. Thus shall this community seek the warmth of its homely hearth whilst the dregs of winter's spirit is humbled ...

[Chalky]OOOoooooOOOOh! Get you!
[spirit, chalky] take it OUTSIDE, both of you!
Furcational Adjournment
Is it time to grant it special status yet? I fancy an imposter's game, or summat...
I am outside.
Err.?
Hello!!!!
Hello to you too
I'm a bit worried. You're not the jasmine to which my wife took her secateurs a couple of days ago are you? If you are I shall have to have a cup of tea a Bex and a good lie down. Oh dear, oh dear . . .
Special (i.e. no) service
[Tuj] The SpecialStatus AddOn Pack (TM) has not yet been enabled, so, erm, no.
a little off topic (no change there, then) but thank God it's Friday. has everyone else had a shocking week or is it just me?
[nights] probably just you

Bah! I enjoyed that poetic exchange and would have happily crossed further swords with the 'spirit', teetering, as we were, on the brink of yet another 'Winter versus Summer Debate'.
So the follow-up disappointed somewhat, whilst bringing to mind Wot Dan Said in MCiOS a couple of weeks back [and I paraphrase] - anonymous posting by regulars is relatively harmless fun ... however, if the post is directed at a named person, perhaps it's fairer not to hide behind the cloak of anonymity?

*throws down gauntlet in the spirit of goodwill* :-)

[nights] it's not just you. blech.
[nights/flerdle] Definitly not just you two. Too.
Bob the dog! Good to see you :-)
[Chalks] Likewise! I've not been as apparent as usual over the last few months, but I am very much still here. New job going well – chickens still pecky – children still boingy.
I back Tuj for a game of impostors!
Do you want your gauntlet back?
Not dead but... dormant
rab] Well, assuming this Add On Pack (AOP) has resurrectional properties, I guess we can temporarily shuffle it below the line and go, with Bob the Dog's backing, for a game of imposters.
[Bob] welcome back!!
[rab] so what happened? I couldn't get in last night or all day today (that's trying via my home connection and up at university)
[everyone] glad it wasn't just me. last week of term, woo!
[nights] *Flattered* But I never left!
[bob] ah but doesn't flattery get me... no wait, get me somewhere... everywhere? sorry, it's rather late and I'm a bit tired and emotional at the moment... hello anyway.
racing frogs
Who wants to race frogs with me? I want a league but need to invite people! Try www.racingfrogs.org.....it's a level of maintenance just under playing Celebdaq. And probably designed for 14-year-olds. But shhh....
Food, food, food!
I think escargot is more my pace.
slurg on a lily pad
[ZK] My frog is in training, do you have a frog in each area.

On the weekend we went out and bought our Christmas tree. After I had put on the lights it was for the boys to hang the decorations on the tree. Francis, likes to let Owen know the benefits of being his big brother, as frequently as possible. Putting baubles on the tree he was able to put his extra height to advantage “…and another one up here, and this one can go near the top over here…”. Being the uneven handed dad I am I helped Owen put a couple at the same height to end that bit of squabbling. Which left Tom the toddler, who with a little bit of help was able to put the fairy on top and with the highest bauble. The finished tree looks wonderful.

I'd already done the racing frogs thing. They started making it more and more biased towards people buying the book and/or paying to enter the VIP room, by eg giving a "pike detector" to all those who'd paid. And it's... well, it's tedious, once the novelty wears off.
minibug
[rab] Might you be able to put a chevron on a tag in the limerick game?
[Projoy] Thanks for locating it... Netscape managed to render the page properly so I never saw the damage it caused on other browsers. Can you check it's properly fixed? Oh, and congratulations to Raak for discovering one of the bugs in the html checker. *fumbles in prize box* Here, have the 1995 copy of the Edinburgh and Lothians edition of "The Phone Book".
Yep, all fixed.
Frogs
Ooh, looks like very silly fun. Which pond are you in, ZK?
cute bear...
[rab] I like the bear...

[ZK] nice to see you again... obviously the Univesity of Birmingham doesn't give people enough work... :p

[ink] stop it, I'm missing my unstoppable family already at the moment, and you're not helping. Doesn't help that I'm so close to going home...
[Breadmaster] Windymore Lake, I think. Tend to race in Fergal's Cove.
[nights] Thankyou *blushes* I'd like to give the University credit for my constant absenteeism, in fact it was my drama group and its criminal rehearsal-cum-social schedule, and my boyfriend, wot's been keeping me occupied. The University kept me busy a bit though :) Semester over?
it's all getting a bit hectic...
Can you believe it - I had a dream last night in which - due to a horrible hairdressing mistake - my hair turned blonde. What a nightmare...
[pen] I think you'd look simply dashing as a blonde.

[ZK] teaching finishes tomorrow, thank God... although I'm going to be down here until december 23 working for *a certain well known UK based supermarket chain* because, let's face it, ALL students are poor and I need the overtime...
.. trying to attract rab's attention ..
hey rab - are you there?
[pen] No, don't go blonde - perhaps dark purple? That'll look good. [BtD] Gorgeous! [nights] hectic - just hectic. [rab] nice bear. [spirit of winter] Rum. [mince pie] *scoff*
Guess Who
Catching up with a thread from above... I'm up for an imposters game as well.
*burp*
oops - what I meant to say was...
Number of meals out in the past 18 hours - 2.
Number of meals out in the past 18 hours that the boss has paid for - 2
 Mince pies - 1 (same as at 9am, nothing to add here)
Should I be expecting a P45 or an invitation to join the Directors of the company?
possibly both.
An invitation to join the Directors of the company in *what*?
Attended
[Chalky] No, I've been sent to Coventry. (Literally).
Furcating
rab] Any news on El Furco's special status? I tried to shuffle it 'neath the line for a while to free up space for (probably) an imposters' game, but it dint work... Coventry nice?
Romance?
It's On. It's Off. It's On again, but not for another three weeks... Time to call Emergency Boyfriend #1. *sigh*
[pen] (((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))) it'll work out for the best - whatever the hell THAT might be. this is my first Christmas working in retail as opposed to catering. I'm certainly NOT loving it.
Grrr to cold weather
I'm ill and God I wish I weren't. I know it's only coldy/fluey stuff (at least I think that's all it is, might get the Doc to give me some sympathy in the morning, or at least to tell me to bugger off from wasting their time) but it's that kind of "I know it's going to get worse before it gets better" thing going on. Time to go home and retreat under the duvet in front of the telly I think. Good luck, pen.
Sent to Coventry
[rab] Coventry is not far from me if you fancy a pint..?
Man 'Flu
[rab] If it's bad... go to bed. Keep hot. Drink plenty of fluids and sleep. Don't drag yourself around if you feel shitty, you only spread it around anyway!
[In other news] Thanks goodness for emergency boyfriends...
Christmas Quiz

I've posted a Christmas Quiz if anyone's interested. It's also in Orange MC where there was another free game slot.
[heading in the blue box at the top]
Can you really post lonely hearts adverts?
lonely hearts are lonely for a reason...
[Knobbly] You can... although you risk attracting someone who thinks that Mornington Crescent is a fun thing to do. Is that really what you want?
[rab] fluids are the key, and not doing anything also helps, in my experience. [in other news] thanks to work I had trouble focusing by the end of my shift today *sob*
but what reason?
[Knobbly]Well, someone did before - last year, I think.
I do
[snorgle] 'twas Darren, if I recall.

I expect I'll be buggering off home shortly. The flu didn't come in the end; however, a (potentially nasty) ear infection did. The nice doctor gave me enough antibiotics to kill a horse and it seems to be clearing. Won't be until Christmas Eve till I get the full all-clear (and, with luck, internet access from home) so I'm not in the most joyful and triumphant mood just now. Heigh-ho.

*exits jingling bells*

Would ya believe it?!
Just found two cats abandoned at an empty council house. Called the RSPCA. They told me that they don't deal with abandoned cats! So much for their advertising campaign!
blimey
[UK] That's why the Cat Protection League exists. You should have someone locally who looks after them. Failing that, try the local paper for an appeal...
pussy cats
The Cats Protection League are usually more helpful - if you can get a local phone number, a real cat lover may come out and be willing to take them in. The RSPCA are usually hopeless, from what I've heard. At least with dogs, you can usually get the police to take them, I'm not sure about cats.
We are not amewsed
I went for them purely because we knew where the outgoing tenants went and I wanted them to go for a prosecution. Fortunately, one of my colleagues used to be an Animal Warden, and had the numbers of several RSPCA officers on her mobile. She called one of them and briefed him; he straight away got onto the outgoing tenants at their new address and got them to pick up the cats there and then in his prescence. Just goes to show it's not what you know, but who!
miow
Good job, UK!
More quizes
Cross posting
I take part in a couple of quizzes on-line and have created a testing ground group on MSN. If you like this one I will do another longer one next week. There are only two rules
1. only one answer per posting
2. no consecutive posting.
It's quiet..
in the morniverse! I think most people must be off doing Xmassy things.. I'm still in work, but will probably have a half day with boozing this pm.
who eat all the pies
Still working hard as ever at work, last day having a break till 4 January. The sausage rolls, coke and mince pies have arrived for lunch.
Ho hum...
Still working... will be tomorrow also... back in on 30th... bah!
ho ho ho
MMmm. chocolates, crisps, nibbles, wine..
Oh, and
not back in till January 10th. Yay! New Year in Dublin coming up..
Mincing
Mince pie in lieu of lunch, but a meeting at 1pm, so looks like I have to keep my work hat on for a couple more hours. After this, I'm not back in the office until 4th Jan :o)
bits to the grindstone
Still working normally today. Working from home (yeah, right) tomorrow, then off until 4th Jan including seeing the New Year in in Paris.
What holiday?
Working till 9pm today and tomorrow. Back at work on 27th every day till 3rd. I resisted the offer of overtime on Xmas day and Boxing day. Sob
Whee!
Mr BT's been and gone so I can now do this at home, kids. The engineer seemed very surprised that there was a line in situ already and he didn't actually need to do anything that couldn't have been done at the exchange. I've been trying to tell BT this for two months. Now, let's see if I can get that 75 quid back then, shall I?

Merry Christmas, One and All. I'll pop my head round the door from Edinburgh the next couple of days, before shooting down south to see the family. This would be Total Holiday if it weren't for the fact I should really apply for a permanent job that's come up and that has a deadline in January.

More Seasoning
Merry Christmas to all. The presents are wrapped. A mince pie and carrot have been left out, crossing my fingers for a seven o' clock lie in ;)
Over at Celebdaq, Celebrity Mornington Crescent itis a special congratulations to Christmas No1 DrQ.
It is also a sad farewell from CMC to long time Celebdaq player Chalky.
(Cross-posting) Merry Christmas, everyone!
Wishu
We wishu a merry Chrimulus. Pass the sherry, vicar.
...two front teeth
Seven was realistic but in the end we were woken up by Owen at just gone six. But it has been a good Christmas Day with lots of giving and receiving. Lord of the Rings extended box set, Monsterous Regiment, J J Cale - Anyway the Wind Blows - The Anthology, and best of all Brazil on DVD; No jumpers, no ties, no shirts for work. A very good Christmas indeed.
thank goodness that is over
Same as Inkspot - awoken at 6ish by excited eight year old. We had a non-traditional day, spending dinnertime at local Thai Boathouse restaurant (really good - highly recommended). We entertained guests in the evening with a buffet that no-one had any room for. Masses of pants and socks - surprisingly pleasant day!
wtf is apropos??
BEN OWNS
internet tourettes there? cuh. merry christmas everyone. we had a very sedate christmas which is most unlike us. back at university on the tenth, but home for a week then back at *a certain well-know UK based supermarket chain* on friday. and russian politics research in the meantime. oh, and make sure you watch tomb raider, which is on TV either tonight or tomorrow...
Yesterdays news
As a habit over Christmas I don't buy a newspaper and avoid the tv news, World War III could break out, I just would not know. The major concern is how many more days is this turkey going to last.

Arriving back from more drinks in time to see Mr Bean. I was knocked out of my revellry my the pictures from Sri Lanka on the ITV News. The incredible devastation of this Act of God, visited on so many thousands, has taken my own jollity of celebrating the birth of the Son of God seem hollow. Tonight I am restless, trying not to think.

projects underway
Wa-hey! For the first time in ages, and at the risk of appearing anti-social, I've had the chance to mooch about undisturbed at home, and in addition to a satisfyingly long walk in lovely winter sunshine this afternoon (the third such walk this holiday - I'm doing really well), I've got the printer set up ready to produce my masterpiece photos saved up from various trips this year. Cooooooool :o). I'm a bit frantic about going to a rather smart New Year party tomorrow night though - it necessitated the purchase of a velvet coat. Will report back with results. How many people, when pissed, will think that I'm Lisa Tarbuck? Guesses please!
Tarbyness
[pen] Cultivate a very slight Scouse accent and you'll be set.
being as noone else has said it, happy new year. hope 2005 is everything everyone wants it to be.
omigod... I didn't get recognised at all! The party was just too posh and too arty for anyone to have even watched ITV!
And a Happy New Year to you lot too! :o)
5
To all a happy new year!
0things
I'm pretty sure I typed "05" in my first Apropos... who stole it?
wasn't me.
[Tuj] I ain't not stolen nuffink ;o)
boo!
Catch me if you can!
mmmmmm...what...? noisey youngsters!
put the kettle on
The office is quiet, everyone seems to be in shock at being back at work. Thankfully very few emails.
Cute Teddy
Am I right in thinking that the little Teddy currently making an appearance top left of the Welcome (Menu) Page originally exhibited him~(or indeed her~)self on Rick's Beer powereed MC site of blessèd memory ? Or am I befuddled ? Happy New Year BTW.
I haven't had any email since about december 23. I love university vacations.
On a sidenote, happy birthday me...
HBTY
HBTY
HBDN
HBTY
[nights] Happy Biirthday! I suppose that makes you ancient, like the rest of us, now?
[pen] shut up shut up shut up. I'm only 20.
[nights] *splits ancient sides laughing and loses dentures* I'm forty this year, you young fool. I'm still not old!
[pen] and with an attitude like that, you never will be. more alcohol!!
XL-ent
[pen] No, at 40 you are still a youngster! (Well I am anyway).
[Boolbar] I know I'm still young - I've just installed broadband at home and only had to shout at one technical helpdesk person. I tried the old trick, calling again in the hope of talking to another techie, and it worked. This one knew what I was talking about and helped me install the right modem drivers. Only problem is, I have to sit on the bottom step of the stairs so that all the cables reach. The plan is to go wireless too, as both my flatmate and I want broadband on our laptops. At this rate, I'm going to have a house full of spaghetti.
Bloody hell it's fast :o)
Warning, team!
I'm migrating to a new ISP. This will mean new IP addresses, and so a longer downtime than the last change, because DNS will have to be changed. Should be 2 days or so, and not for a couple of weeks.
Yule never believe it.
Happy New Year to you all. I've had an, um, interesting Festive Period. Some of it is fairly standard seasonal stuff, such as most of the railway notwork being switched off for the duration of the holiday season, entailing a couple of hundred passengers all having to disembark at Leamington Spa and then proceed through a single set of double doors to watch buses hang around outside the station for a few minutes with doors resolutely closed before then departing, empty, into the sunset. The rest, however, is less so and I hope you excuse my indulgence of reporting it here, especially when we've been reminded of the true meaning of the word 'disaster' the last few days.

The plan was to have a quiet couple of days with the immediate family at my brother's house, taking a short trip down the road to have lunch with my Grandparents, Uncle and Aunt. To begin with, I was unsure as to whether I'd be able to go down south as my doctor had muttered something about the possibility of needing some mildly urgent surgery if the drugs she gave me didn't do what they were supposed to do. Luckily, the drugs did and I very nearly managed to avoid hospitals for the duration.

Unfortunately, Grandma was admitted a few days before Christmas, needing (I believe) a minor repair to her leg. So we went and chatted to her, and she seemed ok, if a little pissed off and bored. (This exacerbated by the fact that the women's magazines in the hospital shop were deemed by her 'pornographic'. She has a point.) I presented her with a gift of stationery that she had asked for, presumably so she could continue to compose her wacky free-form-jazz letters from time to time, which I said I enjoyed receiving (which much is true).

We then ambled across to her house where Grandad and the Aunt and Uncle were in situ for the second (of three) Christmas meals. This was all very jolly: Grandad's not entirely compos-mentis these days, but still tells a funny story or two. Unfortunately we had to break up the party atmosphere by taking him to a care home (he's not compos-mentis enough to be able to look after himself when Grandma's away). I can't say I felt entirely at ease with all the incumbents of the institution, but I suppose that's the way these places are. And I'm sure Grandad knows how to fend off the advances of dotty old ladies. Anyway, apart from some hoo-hah about medication and managing to kill a kamikaze deer that ran into the car on the way, this all passed off smoothly. We all, apart from my father (who was driving) slept in the car on the way home.

Understandably, Dad needs an early night. And what does he do, but trip on the stair leading into the bathroom and need taking to Casualty? He returns two hours later with his foot in plaster and hobbling about on crutches. To add excitement to the proceedings, my brother lives in a Victorian house where the loo is downstairs and the sleeping quarters up...

I learnt today that sadly, I shall not be receiving any more of Grandma's trademark letters on account of her passing away this morning. I'm told it happened as quickly and as peacefully as one can hope for once they realised the treatment she was on wasn't working and there was nothing more that could be done.

[rab] I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.
[rab] likewise, my condolences on losing your grandma. my thoughts are with you at what I know is a really difficult time.
[rab] aww - hope she had a wonderful life. I really loved all three of my grandmothers [don't ask!] and they've all gone now and although they appear in my dreams on a regular basis, I miss them dreadfully.
[rab] Sorry to hear about that. I, too, have lost both my grandmothers but I only ever knew one of them. Still, one can't wind back the clock without being literal about it.
[rab] All sympathies extended. I lost a grandparent for the first time at the end of last summer, and it knocks you flat to think that someone who has had such an effect on your life and who you are has gone.
[rab] I hope Grandpa is going to be OK. Best wishes to you and your family after what sounds like a glum Christmas.
ISP move
Coo, new ISP is impressive. Migration is booked for the 13th, and they've already given me my IP addresses. This means that I can, in theory, set it all up to fail over fairly gracefully.
Crap, perhaps I should read the recent moves before posting. My condolences as well, Rab.
[rab] Might I add my commiseration to those already expressed? Regrettably most of us have to experience such events at some stage of our lives.
On a brighter note, your father must have received wonderful service at the hospital. If you had that problem here (at least in New South Wales) I'd lay odds on a minimum five hour turnaround and more likely eight. Some ten years or so ago I had a "bit of a turn" and was carted off to my local hospital by ambulance; the ambos weren't sure whether it was a heart thing or not. I lay in the A&E on a stretcher bed for five hours before a doctor saw me. This was a weekday afternoon, not the weekend. As best I can gather from the press the situation is much worse these days. So, congratulations to your health department and your local doctors.
I hope your grandfather is found decent long term care and that your father has a short recuperation.
Tx
Thanks, all. [Nik] Which ISP is that. I'm looking at getting adsl, but am a bit befuddled by the myriad of resellings of the same package.
runs in late and adds another condolence to the pile
I'm moving to Zen as they've long held a reputation similar to Nildram, but are currently a lot cheaper (only £1 less on the basic unmetered 512kbps package, but with free static IP blocks, where Nildram charge £3.50 for a single IP then £5.88 for a block of 8). The price difference wasn't enough to move, but Nildram's stability has been shocking for the last few months. It might be worth you checking out ADSLGuide - look at the 'fastest ISPs' chart, then poke around the forums for some of those ISPs.
Suspect packages
I don't have any flashy requirements (like fixed IP, or the need for decent upstream speeds or even email/webspace) so what I can't decide is whether a basic package whose only limitation that might affect me would be a bandwidth cap of something like 1 or 2 Gb a month, or if it's worth the extra few quid a month for an uncapped service. I don't do any internet gaming, download movies or whatever. The only big downloads I do are new software packages (I'm not doing anymore OS updates since the last one killed my laptop for a bit). I guess the question I ask is, how much bandwidth does a fairly normal amount of web browsing and the odd bit of ssh and scping actually consume?
Oh, and the other issue, of course, is that my only computer is a Mac, so a Mac-aware (if not outright friendly) ISP would be a bonus. In any case, I'll want to purchase an ethernet modem that's compatible with my wireless box.
General surfing doesn't use much - I tend not to transfer more than 1-2GB *total*, running the web and email servers on top, and I use BitTorrent every now and again. As for atypical system support, I've no idea who does what well, although I would expect companies like Zen and Nildram to be better than volume providers like AOL and Wannado.
Straightness
So, let's get this straight, even running a web server you use less than 2Gb a month?
From the Nildram access stats, "Total time on-line was 40 days 3:12:56s, during which time 2.206 GB were transferred." - this was the connection that went squiffy over christmas. It hasn't noticed me being dis/connected since then. I believe the 'transferred' figure includes uploads as well as downloads, but can't be sure. Most providers cap based on downloads and ignore uploads anyway. And let's face it, it's not a very busy web server (mostly text, which is all compressed for transfer).

On the other hand, er: 'You made 2 connections during October. Total time on-line was 17 days 23:28:28s, during which time 9.990 GB were transferred.' and 'You made 1 connections during September. Total time on-line was 38 days 4:43s, during which time 4.784 GB were transferred.' I was a very heavy BitTorrent user around that time, though.

broken link
[Nik] Tried Adsl Guide just the site I needed back in September ;^)
Limerickers
Please don't take offence because you know I love you all dearly and all that boll*cks - but The Limerick Game - gah!
Proper names should have Capital Letters
The first line should begin with a Capital letter
There's too much inconsequential nattering which breaks the flow
Finally - do we have to go to the far end of a fart every time something remotely 'welsh' is mentioned?
:-) :-) :-)

< mode=sarcastic > and yes, there really is a Chat Game on this server - you're reading it now < /s>

oo-er
Methinks I got out of bed the wrong side this morning.
[Chalky] Well, at least it only took you two minutes to notice...! :-)
[Incle Korks] I've had three cups of tea, so feel a bit better now. :-)
Chalky]
I agree, but I couldn't resist the limerick line.
also agreed, and I know I'm quite an offender. I promise to try and limerick things that make sense and scan, and use capital letters.
Pants
Grrr... slightly annoyed with my ex-funding body, who've quite reasonably asked for a report on what their money was spent on. Unfortunately, the covering letter of their request directed me to a webpage containing the wrong set of guidance notes. Although these were sufficiently similar to make sense in the context of the rest of the documentation, the differences are enough to require a further heavy editing session. I so wanted this finished, like, last year. Fucktards.
[rab] if it's any consolation, I'm currently putting together my section of a presentation on corruption under the Brezhnev regime in the soviet union. I had a text message while I was at work earlier from one of the group. "Hi (nights), hope you're getting on OK. I've been talking to (someone else), and apparently our presentation has to be quite analytical, so could you try and do that? thanks! see you tomorrow!".
So instead of being in bed at the moment, I'm sat in front of word trying to pull analysis from a rather dark place. gaaaah. (dies.)
The Incredibles
A turbulent day with Prince Harry still front page (good for the celebdaq shares), Busted are splitting unfortunately - McFly are sticking it out, Jackie Stallone must be shown the door of the BB House (John to stay). MC5 returns.
yes, hooray MC5 is back in my life. I was thinking that it was telewest being their usually competent selves.
It took until Sunday evening for MC5 to reappear on my interwebnet thingy ... but nice to see it again :o)
ooooh
yay - it's taken 'til around now for it to appear on my screen aswell. Which gives me the opportunity to 'pologise to Rosie in particular for the 'far end of a fart .... anything remotely welsh' remark which looked much more vehement on screen than was intended.
Cambrian flatus
(Chalky) Vehemence not detected. But you might have used a capital "W". :-)
Since youy mentioned the Welsh...
Just a suggestion (and I know it won't appeal to everyone) for a short game... The gauntlet has been thrown down in the latest Doctor Who Magazine, inviting readers to contribute to a sort of 'Welsh Film Club' (only using existing Doctor Who story titles as source material), to celebrate the filming of the new series in the valleys. Now, this is the sort of thing that I know we can do well. Anyone interested? The two examples provided were The Swansea Devils and Powys of the Daleks.
MCISP5
Is it just me, or is MC5 (and angrycake.com in general) responding more quickly with this new ISP? The time to move had apparently arrived a long time ago - everything about this new ISP is an improvement. And look, the old one has just charged me for the coming month! Gah!
Speedy
Yes, it does seem faster. The Furcation Game seems to appear almost immediately, whereas I'm sure it was always a bit sluggish before.
Welsh Film Club
(Uncle K) I think it's been done on ISIHAC. But anyway, there's Bridge over the River Wye.
WFC
I forgot. It stars Gwynedd Paltrow.
[Rosie] The drawback, though, is that you can't use general film / TV title as your source material - it's Doctor Who stories only.
Wales...
The Curse/Monster of Pen-y-fan
WFC
The Abominable Snowdon
[Nik/rab] For me, MC5 seems extremely slow. It's taking up to 30 seconds to respond each time.
Speedster
[Nik/rab] Not really a noticeable difference here, but maybe 5,000 miles of perspective flattens the diffs out.
Perhaps even...
The Harlech Invasion of Earth
[Darren] Given that the server is now routed via a different ISP, the problems you had last year, and the lack of serious complaint from anyone else, I'd still (unhelpfully, I admit) lay the fault at the door of your ISP, or some route near to you. Do you have problems with other sites?
[Nik] No, no problems with other sites, although MC5 seems to be running alright now. It probably is my ISP.
Storiâu Meddyg Pwy
(Uncle K) OK. So I'm sure you can translate the above.:-)
Mae bronnau ardderchog da hi.
And that.
erm...
[Rosie, Darren] I've tried a number of online translation services... with little luck. Can't work out your first word, Rosie, and I'm completely stumped on Darren's!
time and space
[UK] When is Dr Who scheduled for screening? I am looking forward to the series, especially on the special effects. Children's tv drama has a very low budget compared other areas. But if it is being made by the Drama dept the budget will be there but not the expertise to make good children's tv, afterall that should be the target audience not us Big People.
[Rosie] Aha - cracked yours, now. Obvious, really, in retrospect...
[Darren] Yours seems to come out as... He is being breasts excellent good she?!
[Inkspot] No formal announcement has been made as yet, but the smart money's on Easter Saturday. This is, of course, typical. I wait sixteen years - I mean, sixteen years - for a new series of Doctor Who, and I'm going to be out of the country when the first episode airs!
Designer baggage
I am, perhaps, the only person who ever actually reads the terms and conditions of low-cost air carriers when making a booking. Occasionally it's worth it. I note that one airline says:
We are not liable for the replacement cost of designer baggage which in itself is valuable and inappropriate to be carried by a low cost airline
Amusingly, designer baggage is defined as
baggage which bears a logo of a so-called designer manufacturer and is sold at inflated prices.
bagging
[rab]They sound kind of bitter, don't they?
Cambrian jugs
(Darren) Your example doesn't look grammatical to me and I wonder who put it together. Da means good, but ardderchog means wonderful, excellent etc and you wouldn't use both together. I suspect it should read mae bronnau ardderchog genni hi, literally, "there is (are) breasts wonderful with her". There's no verb "to have" in Welsh. The word genni is a conjugated part of gan, "with", and its ending means you can omit the pronoun it refers to, hi, in this case, and most people would, certainly in conversation.
I wonder what would happen if you checked in luggage in black bin liners - which are presumably appropriate for travel on a low cost carrier....
(rab, pen) It's a bit like a notice on the door of a pub, saying "No suits, ties or dresses - this is a rough house". An amazing admission.
[Rosie] I've shown it to you before. It comes from an old Welsh-English phrase book, the translation for which it claims is "She has excellent breasts." Quite why they thought that would be a useful phrase I'm not sure.
Wow, all this time and nobody posted a response to that.
Welcome back
Thanks, Nik. You can now go and get some sleep.
Sleeping at a time like this
As if!
hello Nik
jolly good work :-)
I think spoken Welsh is a truly beautiful sound
General hellos and thanks to Nik
Well, just before I disappear to bed, about time I posted my first hello on MC5. My nanny corporate firewall/websense blocks this site out as it's a "game" site, apparently. Although in which sense of the word, I'm not sure. (And nary a mention of the fact it contains breasts.)
Breasts? Where? Whose?
Bronnau fel bryniau Eryri
er . . . that's "breasts like the hills of Snowdonia". Probably a quotation. (Darren) I remember your phrase-book quote from MCpants days. It would probably be OK conversationally. My father's first language was Welsh and I picked up a lot from him, and from many other people, but I could hardly be called an authority. Part of what I know has been deliberately learnt but quite a lot is instinctive. My English speech is quite London.
Huzzah
Nice to see the old place back. Thanks for your hard work, Nik.

[Botherer] On the "List of Things To Do (Urgent)" is a Stealth Mode where all mentions of the word "game" are obscured. This might be useful in a workplace environment.

'G'morning!
Nice to see everyone here. Coffee, Nik?
Welsh speakers
One of the nuggets from ploughing through LoTR extended remix (and brilliant it was to) was the Elvish languages Sindarin is based on Welsh.
Good to see things back up again. Ace going Nik.
go nik, yaaaay, etc. nice job. mc5 is back in my life! *sighs contentedly*

I agree with whoever said that welsh is a lovely spoken language - my Dad doesn't. so for an april fools I tuned all of the stations on his car radio to BBCymru. they were still there a week later! and then he glued all of my post together. grr.
MC5 back/work
Nik] Thanks for all your work - it's great to see this back. Botherer] These things are utterly random. My work's firewall allows me onto MC5 and MCIOS, but not Orange - anyone have any thoughts on why this might be so? Oh and did you see that the guy who lost £9 million of his company's money gambling was betting online from work up to 30 times a day. He obviously didn't have to worry about NSFW.
[Botherer] I think it's classed as a game because of removed-yonks-ago metatags on (www.)angrycake.com. Most annoying.
[Irouleguy] The filter in place at my work used to block dunx.org, too. It stopped such foul practices some time ago now.
I need sleep bad.
[Irouleguy] My corporate firewall sound pretty much the same as yours.
Yay, MC5
:]] (big double chin grin. I might have to borrow someone else's face...)
[nik] go sleep! after all that you deserve to sleep for about three years.
Corporate Nanny Sitters
I can get onto both MCiOS and Orange from work, but not here. As I have (until recently) restricted my MCing to work (and what reason, pray, should I need to justify that stance?) this site has been sadly (for me, at any rate) (and I really should stop using so many parenthesis) neglected by me.

The idea of using a proxy server has crossed my mind more than once, but I wonder if that might be classified as a "sackable offence"?
Penalties
[Botherer] A 'sackable offence'? Is that where you have a barney with your partner and are then allowed to make up?
[Dujon] you were up at the same time as me last night! were you revising too?
Writes and Wrongs
[nights] Indeed. I've been revising my life over the last week or two in order to find out why I've such a wonderful wife. I still haven't found the solution.
Oh dear...
I've got a flashy new computer on my desk, and unusally for work machines it not only has a sound card, but also has realplayer installed which means I can now listen to the radio instead of working.
[rab] Realplayer isn't a very safe piece of software to use. You might want to look at alternatives.
Realplayer
Darren] Really - what's wrong with it?
[Darren] Centrally-managed, only supported configuration blah blah blah. Can't even change the window focus policy.
Realplayer
David Beckham is a Real player, or perhaps marketing feature. Don't go near it.
So the Danish Guy Dies...
[rab] Nonstandard winning move on this game, rab?
Happiness is a Cigar called...
The winning move is in the intro...
[dujon] sounds more interesting than european migratory theory. really. but at least it came up on the exam.

[rab] I can heartily recommend xfm - I get it on my spiffy digital radio and if you like rock it's very good indeed.
Get up and boogie
Monday morning << hugs >> to anyone passing. Hope you all had a great weekend, just waiting for the snow which seems to be avoiding this part of the world. If you are still on the post Christmas detox remember exercise can be done anywhere.
Morning all!
[Inkspot] You sound cheerful :o) We've got Sunshine here in NW London for the first time in DAYS... and mild too.
[nights] oooh... Xfm, s'bloody marvellous. I have it on in the car all the time.
news and weather
in local news, the gas men have been drilling outside my house since 13h yesterday, and show no signs of stopping now. I'm rather surprised I got any sleep. it's bright but without any direct sunlight in bath this morning, don't know how warm it is though, I haven't been outside yet. it's still a little too early to do anything except watch trisha.

[pen] I hate to admit it but xfm was a major motivator for me asking for the radio for christmas. that and talksport.
sunlight
[nights] Of course you won't get direct sunlight in your bath - it's got to get through the water. And if you stay in there too long you'll get all wrinkly, then you'll sprout fins & gills and turn into a fish. You will.
[DAB] I too had a DAB radio for Xmas - they're rather excellent aren't they. Trouble is good ole FM sounds crap by comparison so I want one for my car now !
DAB
I got a digital radio for xmas too, from my lovely sister and new brother-in-law. I'm a bit miffed at the way they're rolling out the features on this 'new technology' though - only FOUR programmable buttons when digital radio sells itself on the ability to provide hundreds of stations??? And worst of all... there's no jack plug to feed its output through a bigger stereo system, you're constrained to the small original speakers. Pffft. I think we've been bowled a lemon here, or whatever the metaphor is. I suppose a lemon is as good a mixer for metaphors as you can get, heheh
[pen] which radio did you get? I got a hitachi one, which has five presets (which is enough for me - one, xfm, talksport, four, five) and a headphone jack. I had the hardware to run a connection from the radio to the stereo's in socket, so I'm away, if only with a bit too much bass.

[bob] oh hee hee, not heard that before... *rolls eyes and stifles a yawn* :)
RUGBY PILG
News posted in Pilg Game in Orange MC.
Hamlet?
[rab] Doesn't appear to be Hamlet...
Certainly not
I repeat the previous announcment "The winning move is in the intro...". The last two words of it, I believe.
31/01/2005
Message: Yay! Big happy smiles for everyone!! I have plenty of excess pleasedness, so everyone be joyous!
joyousness
[Tuj] I was looking for an excuse! So what's the occasion?
Chocs away
[pen] Today is Chocolate Day. A reason to give into temptation.
oh what, I'm meant to have a reason?
I'm off the starting blocks way before anyone else on that one :o)
[pen] My Panasonic DAB has 10 presets at least (five buttons plus a +5 button - it may allow 15 actually, not sure.) You can store the same number for FM too. Having said that, as there aren't that many stations as yet I just turn the rotary knob till I get to the station I want coz. it simply cycles through stations rather than having to actually tune it in.
[nights] Sorry for the yawnyness - but it was your lack of capitalisation of the fair city of Bath that made me make my comment - but I now see that you appear to eschew capitalisation completely.
eschewing [nights]
... but not on the 'I' word :-)
[Blob] Then my sister and new brother-in-law have been cheapskates and bought me a cheapo one... I only have four... but it does have an 'up' button and a 'down' button to scroll through all the hundreds of stations is knows alphabetically, which is pretty handy, as Xfm isn't that far from BBC Radio 4, and I just go straight past 'Yoof Radio'. heheheh!
Help needed!
I've been asked to design a template email for the place where I work - you know the sort of thing - a header followed by contact details as a signature at the bottom. However, the only way I've found I can do this in Outlook is by saving all graphics into a signature. However, when I do this and click new message the email body appears above the logo. Does any one know how to put a header into an email properly?
[BtD] Abjure the heresy of embedded graphics in email! Tread the straight and narrow path of plain text only! If I received an email with a company logo in it, I'd never see the logo, because my mail program is set up to ignore graphics (and HTML).
Shoptalk, cross-posted too!
Does anyone know any up-and-coming children's illustrators who would like an interesting (paid!) project - creating projected backdrops for a show I'm doing later in the year. UK-based is ideal, but could be anywhere in the UK. Email for more or see here for more background.
Cleanage
[Projoy] Hope you don't mind, I corrected your email link.
pro(ject)joy
Projoy] I do know someone - I will speak to them and let you know.
[blob] no, I rarely use caps. it's just habit really, rest assured when writing properly (essay and such) caps are there in full glory. my aunt has complained that I never capitalise Bath in emails as well, so I'm just a serial offender.

[chalky] pardon?

[pen] down here, we get, and I quote, 'yarr radio' on digital. the amount of chris the ninja pirate gags is innumerable. new favourite station is talkSPORT as it doesn't distract me while revising. until I start shouting at the radio.
Email signatures
[BtD] Google for 'email etiquette' and 'internet etiquette' and perhaps also cite some of that info to the people making you do this project. I killfile on HTML as well - companies have lost my custom for sending me HTML in emails after I asked them not to. Costing them five to ten grand in lost business, at a rough guess. (And companies who start out by sending me HTML-in-email never get my custom in the first place.) The fact that most people are ignorant of correct email etiquette - because no modern PC-based mailer I have seen has ever thought to mention the issue - doesn't mean we all are. And I for one do use it as a filtering critereon for who I will do business with.
email
[rab] Much obliged.
Bet you can't do this!
Raise your right foot from the ground and make clockwise circles with it.
While doing that, draw anticlockwise circles in the air with your right hand.
[raak] how does that work then? I feel an utter fool.
[nights] No idea, it came up on a mailing list on biological control systems. For another surprise, try it with the right foot and left hand.
Whee!
I'm typing this wirelessly from my new broadband connection. I'm amazed that it all works...
All
Raak] Sorry, but I can do it... And the second one really easily (or was that the surprise!?)
pen] No real reason. My happy side came out yesterday, so I ate Twixes and listened to new CDs and thought along the lines of "spread the love". I am getting worryingly dependent on Twix bars now though.
anyone] Nice to see AVMA back on our screens.
[Tuj] Yes, that's the surprise. Opposite foot and hand don't interfere. I wonder if organists would find it easier, having learned to make their hands and feet work independently.
[Raak] Took a bit of effort but I was able to do it after a few tries. I found the trick was to set the hand going until you no longer thought about it, and then concentrated on the foot moving in the opposite direction.

As for organists, I don't think they'd find it much easier, because the movements they make with their feet aren't hugely complicated - as far as I know, no more complicated than those a driver makes in a car with the pedals.

hey I had an exam this morning, and it wasn't the evil colossus of doom I thought it would be. hey!
phew
[nights] s'often the way. You nearly done, exam-wise?
[btw - my comment above which you queried - I was referring to the word 'I' [as in first person] which you always capitalise, even if the rest of the sentence is lower case :-)]
Examination
It disturbs me that the assessment aspect of degree programmes is given so much prominence these days. I say this both from empathy with the students, and as one of the people who has to mark the bloody things.
But how can you evaluate without assessment?
The key words of the last statement were "so much prominence".
[bm] coursework - I have a 2000 word essay to turn in tomorrow which is MUCH better than an exam in that particular unit.

[chalky] one more this afternoon, but that I'm not freaking about too much. and I'm going on holiday saturday night for a week which is something to look forward to. and I cap the I because I was taught at a very young age always to do it. it doesn't excuse not doing it the rest of the time, but... um... er... shut up.

[rab] thanks. lots of people think that students are just stinking lamos, that we don't work, drink ourselves into oblivion every night of the week and then stay up until three the night before an exam/coursework deadline. of course, this is true some of the time, but by no means all. there was a bit in the student guardian (possibly one of my favourite things about university, a free digest of the week's news when I haven't had time to go anywhere near a paper that isn't Metro) about how students are determined to get value for money from degrees, and so are working their collective reproductive organs off trying to get firsts and distinctions and honours.

on an unrelated note, what do you teach/mark?
I'm a big fan of the notion of continuous assessment (i.e. such that the learner themself is able to input into evaluating the success of their endeavours). The worst forms of assessment IMO are those that have no continuity with the actual learning process, i.e. sit-down "blind" exams.
[projoy] hear, hear. I had the last exam today - despite my bus not showing up and me having to run across campus to be a few minutes late, it wasn't too bad. now all I have left is the 2000 word essay, which is why I shall be on campus from 08h tomorrow. ouch.
[nights] I do tutorials for mid-degree (i.e., round years 2&3, depending on the degree programme and education system) physics students. In practice this means that typically they've been in the game long enough to know what the deal is, and have got into a reasonable routine and habits regarding learning stuff, but still haven't quite reached the point where they'll voluntarily spend the whole day in the library/lab because they like it. (That kicks in around 3rd/4th year). Apparently I'm now a "senior tutor", which doesn't come with any extra money (in fact, I'm lucky it comes with any money at all) but does involve added responsibility. One of these is checking the exam papers, hand-in questions etc. all of which form part and parcel of the "assessment" that's going on. In practice, "checking" means "working through and making sure you can do it in 1/3-1/2 the time we expect the students to spend on it". Which is quite a lot of extra work, cos you have to get 100% as well...

[nights, again] To be honest, I don't think that what you say has ever been true, at least not for the last 15 years or so. I think there's a whole bunch of myths that get irresponsibly perpetuated by ex-students about how all they did was drink, get laid and engage in oh-so-hilarious traffic-furniture relocation exercises. Though now I think about it...

My gripe about assessment, apart from the obvious selfish one, is that for all the foreplay and aftermath that surrounds a formal exam is that, per hour of examination, I estimate you lose about one weeks' worth of time that could be used teaching people something. I'm still "out" on continuous assessment. I hated it as a student, but now I'm on "the other side" I've seen evidence that it can boost the performance of those in the bulk of the distribution. The lower end is always impossible to motivate, and the top end usually looks after itself but I do worry that if things become too prescribed they might get a bit bored. Personally, I advocate oral examinations since they give people the opportunity to reveal what they know, rather than what they don't. However, I realise most people feel quite intimidated by them so my feeling is that a mixture of sit-down, continuous assessment and scary viva would probably be the fairest system of all.

[rab] In other words, try every method of torture to see which one breaks them? :-)
Students
I was a student once and if all they do is get drunk and laid, I missed out on 50% of my education. I'm not telling you which 50%, but you can probably guess...
[botherer] never mind. get involved in sunday league football, that'll help redress the balance.

[rab] I'm second year, and I think I'm at the stage you describe your physics students as being at. I *like* my subject, it interests me (finally), but I wouldn't stay on campus all day working on it because I like it. although I am today, but that's because I'm grossly disorganised. oh well, wish me luck.
continuous
[rab] That's odd. When I was a student I hated discontinuous assesment (to the extent of picking my courses to avoid exams), but doing education work has led me to like it less, because it normally means continuous alertness to student needs (and a more constant flow of paperwork), which is harder than sitting back and regurgitating a load of stuff at students the same each year.
(That's not an argument against it, btw, just an observation)...
(er, and I meant "...doing education work has led me to like continuous assessment less...")

*goes back to bed*

um
er?
wha?
fuh? essay's done by the way. I think I'm going to explode with joy at the prospect of a week off...
*sandbags against the prospect of nights exploding with joy* i wish...
[nights] Well, assessed coursework is still assessment, I should think. In any case, personally I don't mind exams, although perhaps that's because I'm all right at them (my BA was 100% exams, and all the exams took place within a single fortnight at the end). I'm not convinced by the argument that assessment is an ineffecient use of time because it could be better used teaching students things: I'd say that reinforcing stuff you've already been taught and ensuring that you actually know it properly rather than have just a vague memory of it - in other words, revising - is just as valuable as learning it the first time around, if not more so.
Maximising retention
Best way to maximise the amount you can recall of what you have been taught is to review it after a day, a week, a month, a year, noting errors in your recall at each stage and concentrating on correcting them. I can vouch for the fact that it works, it's just that I for one was always far too lazy to do it properly.
sooooo.....what's happening?
updatey
[ZK] I am feeling delicate after a bloody good wedding yesterday. Recovering with the liberal application of tea and TV.
Hello ZK - good to see you again :-)
Hello pen - good to see you as always :-)
I'm spending a bit of time on here 'googling' for 3 Characters for the quiz tonight. It's my turn in the chair and the last round involves giving information in 3 stages about a person and the scores are 5,3 or 1 depending on when the correct answer is given. I'm trying to be really fair and not choose subjects that the team I belong to will be able to answer straight away and score maximum points. Oh - and I have to cook a roast chicken dinner for 5 for around 5pm.
...continuing
Yum. I chose E M Forster, Peter Gabriel and Otto von Bismarck and have aimed for some tantalising first clues ...
Two Bismarck trivia
He had a country house built, called Schloss Kroechlendorff (been there, got the sweatshirt), and he said, "God made Austrians by crossing Bavarians with humans."
[Raak] So how do we tell him apart from Peter Gabriel?
[Darren] Costumes. Gabriel will either be a giant flower or a fox, Bismarck will be a slightly camp military type.
Breaking the silence
[rab] Does being 'darlinged' give you a hangover the next morning? ;o)
Bismarck et al
[Chalky] I seem to remember [from my O-level history (over 25 years ago, eeek)] that OvB introduced Kulturkampf where he sought to reduce the power of the Catholic church in Germany, fairly successfully. He also tried to "kill socialism with kindness" - which was an interesting concept that mirrored Tsar Alexander's ill-fated attempts at liberalisation in Russia. Blimey it all comes flooding back ...
Bismarck was great. He seems to have been prejudiced against more or less everyone apart from upper-class Protestant Prussians - remember he referred to Disraeli as "that old Jew" in a tone of grudging respect! And he had a dodgy tache too.
Break like the wind
[pen] Is it supposed to?
Stations End
[rab] There seems to be a problem with Stations Revenge. There have been a few attempts at killing it so the unmasking can begin. Is it possible for you find out what the problem is and post the cure?
Why kill it?
Why not indeed...
again
[Bismarck trivia contributors - thanks] Yes - it was an enlightening bit of research, however, I still can't find out the proper name for his trademark pointy topped helmet. Or indeed what type of creature nested in his 'tache.
Whoops. The reason why the game won't end is quite amusing, if you know anything about Perl regexps. I'll put the fix in tonight - will need to check it works first, so am nervous about doing it in situ...
hasty revenge
[rab] in situ as opposed to ...?
[Inks] Further to my abrupt 'Why kill it?' - um.. it's still quite new - it's moving along at a steady pace - not every 'move' has been made yet - I just think there's some mileage in it compared to a couple of the other MC games.
and another thing ... ROSIE!!
sweet revenge
[Chalky] I was just curious, but I am more than happy to carry on playing, are you?
[Chalky] I think he means he's deeply worried someone might try winning the game while he's working on it - big bangs, flashing lights, tape spewing on floor, "MALFUNCTION - DOES NOT COMPUTE," sparks, demolition of The Institute, "the reactor's gonna blow," alarms, emergency lighting, "dive! dive! dive!" and so on.
This new Chorkee - is it Chalky without glasses? Or perhaps the bizarre offspring of Chalky and Uncle Korky? Or maybe a very small Cherokee?
[Inks] Yes indeed, which should tell you that it wasn't me trying to end the game .. or SO YOU THINK ...
[Darren] Gosh. Joking apart - is it possible for a computer/server to malfunction to such an extent that it really would explode or even spark and sizzle a bit?
[Chalky] If the power supply goes, then yes. If they're overloaded, they will often overheat, and sometimes (like mine did last year) go "pop" and stop working - that's if you're lucky. Some will actually explode when they're overloaded. Some will simply make a loud bang and smoulder. Others may suddenly start pumping out more voltage than your machine can take, which could cause other things to go bang. So if you do a bit of home modification, do take care that you don't overload your PSU.
Oh, and buying a home fire extinguisher suitable for electrical fires won't go amiss either.
Mine, all mine
Stations' Revenge should be winnable now... The downside is that you're no longer able to specify the winning move as a Perl regexp. Not that you were ever supposed to, of course.
non-news is good news
I have tidied my bedroom - the change is amazing! And I just cleaned out my mouse in the office - again, a huge improvement. My coffee this morning was good too. Just needed to share that with you...
How clean is your...
[pen]So just the belly buttoon fluff to tackle next. But where to do it. In private or at the office desk.
[Inkspot] No, do it in public. Sell tickets.
Public hair
Some people already show off their belly button fluff.
BBF
(Boolbar) Tried the link. Amazing. You can find anything on the net, it seems. This rather discreet oldie is perplexed that anyone would want to put their name to such a site. But I did have a belly laugh, you might say.
woo-hoo!!
Today was another First Date Day. And it was good. :o)
*catches up*
*presses wrong key*
I've been on a boat. man it was relaxing. anyway.

[pen] yaaaay!

[ZK] hello! how's lovely birmingham?

[simons mith] I've been told that technique by my director of studies before. problem is I'm fantastically lazy.

[Chalky] when I murdered my old computer (before the lovely laptop, before the faithful mac, there was the evil HP that had to be destroyed) I switched it from 240V to 115V.
*BAANG!!!*
*smoke*
*fuses trip out*
"(nights), WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON UP THERE?"
Ah, back again
...but what happened to Reverse 11?
Oh, and
Any ideas for games in the slots? I was trying to think of something new and exciting, though I'm sure something old and exciting would be as good if not better.
New game
Let's have another go at that
(Tuj) I found Clerihews Who (on MCiOS) quite agreeable. Not new and not exciting, I admit.
Rab and I had a funny online chat the other day, and I remember thinking 'This would make an interesting game' but I cannot, for the life of me, remember what it was. It might have been something along the lines of 'Best Excuse' or 'Customer Complaints'.
Uptime
Morning all. From the logs, the reason for the server disappearing is that 'the peer' (ie the ISP) is failing to respond to echo requests. The actual reason I don't know - the ISP not responding, the line dropping, etc. I've extended the interval between echo requests and increased the number of attempts, which may help. It was already set to immediately re-attempt connection up to 25 times, which it appears to not be doing, annoyingly, but I've changed that to 'unlimited' anyway.
Chattiness
[pen] Was it something to do with "Autoglass Mobile" and how they're not, but they know someone who has a mobile?
Uptime
Hm. The outage over the weekend may have been caused by a massive outage in BT's Manchester centre, which it seems is rather a large single point of failure.
is it bad that I didn't notice?

How about a nice game of "imaginary crescent"?
I was myself substantially surprised to find the machines inaccessible and then, upon 'fixing' it, not find a mention on MCiOS.
[Nik] I think it's known as 'polite outage' - much like a silent fart.
oh, but that we should go for a whole day without a fart joke!
(Chalky) I'm not convinced that silent farts are polite. If one is going to pollute, one should own up to it. Not that I would, mind.
[Rosie] Hmmm - see what you mean. I thought I'd added the words '.. when there's no-one around' [which might make more sense of the analogy]
... a bit later on
I've created a game :-)
politeness
Politeness requires that one should try not to make a noise when expelling anal gas. It similarly requires that one should not make a noise upon discovering expelled anal gases. Thus society continues in a mutual agreement to ignore the occurence.
sounds like a lot of heads being buried in sand to me...
Mmmh, what's cooking?
My father used to say "you're like a fart in a colander" to indicate uselessness. I don't know why that has just popped into my head or even why I'm bothering telling you lot, but there it is.
fart, fart, fart
I think it's about time we invented some sort of pants-catalytic-converter. We take pains to minimise every other bad smell our bodies produce, so it would be quite in keeping.
fartish
They have, you know.Click here for odour removal!
Gaseous eruptions
(st d) I think burping noisily is more offensive (in a polite setting) than farting. You can always do it silently and the "product" is inoffensive. No-one need know. But you can't get away with a fart, however discreetly expelled. (Projoy) Now, there's a challenge I can't ignore, as a chemist. The simplest answer would be an appropriately-shaped pellet of activated charcoal taped to the bum in a gastight manner. It would need to be kept dry and be easily removable for obvious reasons. It would eventually (a month or so) become "full", so to speak, but could easily be regenerated by heating in an oven, the only problem being that everything it had absorbed would be driven off. Extractor on full blast, I feel. snorgle has got in while I was writing this and the link says it's been done already. I bet it's activated charcoal, though. Just a question of how you fix it.
charcoal
[Rosie]Ah, maybe it would just be better to get some fresh activated charcoal. How do you activate charcoal anyway? Is there a big red button?
oho!
[snorgle] There's a satisfied customer quote on that site: "The feeling of security!" from one Julie Anderson, which I initially read as Julie Andrews. Now there's an image.
The whole problem with that product is the need to make the underwear airtight. Ewies. I did read once upon a time about tablets you can take (which I believe are also charcoal) to nullify smells. Any health risk?
ohdearohdearohdear
[snorgs] Thanks - it's a fantastic site with a wealth of snigger potential. 'Wear them for the one you love' springs to mind as a suitable phrase for examination, given that possibly the most irritating and in-yer-face flatulence occurs beneath the duvet ...
Ah...
Here's the page for aforementioned internal deodorant, although it's very coy about the fart business.
[Chalky] "In-yer-face" and "beneath the duvet" was probably more information than I strictly needed.
oo-er
[rab] sorry ... didn't realise you were looking in :-)
so, what is everybody doing this friday night? and no I'm not trying to change the subject, just a natural progression in the conversation...
I was supposed to be appearing as part of a work of art at Chelsea Art College for a final-year show. The artist invited me and some friends to be an installation, but it got cancelled due to lack of interest from other quarters. So I'm going to Wales, which I think is an appropriate response.
[PJ] An installation? I love weird art - what would you have been doing?
[nights] Celebrating a friend's birthday.
[nights] With a bit of luck, being seduced over dinner. Failing that, washing and ironing.
[pen] if all else fails, come to Bath and *I'll* seduce you...
[Chalky] It wasn't that weird, really, kind of lazy. She just wanted a couple of groups of people to stand around and get served canapés by waiters and chat. I assume the idea was that by putting me and my friends in a gallery we, and our social interactions would have been decontextualised so we became the subject of the viewer's critical analysis. Something like that.
Which, I have to say, is the oldest trick in the book, only slightly leavened by the fact that standing around eating canapés and chatting is exactly what looks natural in a gallery, so we'd have been decontextualised and contextualised all at once, which may be a bit self-defeating.
[Projoy] But it would make the gallery seem less empty than it might otherwise, especially if the show was in danger of being cancelled for lack of interest. The idea occurs to me of an art show in which it only transpires afterwards that everyone there was an exhibit, no-one actually came to see it.
hoary old chestnut
[Raak] But can it be considered Art if there is no audience?
Well, in that case the art would be its own audience, which saves a lot of mucking about, really.
[Projoy] stop it, you're making a customer-induced headache many times worse. stop it at once. yes I've been to work this evening, no it wasn't fun.
[Projoy] Hasn't someone done something *very* similar to that before? I seem to recall seeing it...
meta-friendatanexhibition
[Projoy] I presume you would have stood around discussing the visitors to the exhibit.
Ars gratia artis
[Darren] I should think about, say, thousands of people have done something very similar to it. [CdM] Indeed. What else to discuss? It might have been quite funny if we'd been submitted as a portfolio piece and allowed to give the examiner a mark out of ten.
art-lark
Has anyone done the "art" of having an empty room, getting hired people to stand around in this room looking at and discussing the pieces of art that aren't really there and then letting the public come in and be slightly bewildered?
Difficult to make plausible, I'd say, because most people move around galleries in silence or talking only in hushed tones. You'd somehow have to have your actors miming that there is art there, either by staring fixedly at particular points on the wall, or taking very obvious detours around things, craning neck etc.
Art for arseache
Probably simpler just to issue a press release saying you've done something where the art and the audience were the same thing. Again, saves a lot of mucking about.
.. as well as the cost of new clothes for the Emperor ..
[Projoy] "The art and the audience being the same thing" is reminiscent of John Cage's 4'33".
quizzonicals
[Chalks] Are you organising another pub quiz? We came across some interesting statistics today in 'Fleet News' - did you know...
- Royal Mail has 25,636 vans in the UK, plus mopeds and lorries
- Its annual mileage forcast is 590 million miles (18,437 miles per vehicle)
- and it operates 115,000 post boxes.
useful for that 'nearest million' tiebreaker question ;o)
it'd be interesting to see how much wandering around campus I do in an academic year. strap an odometer on me, let's do some SCIENCE!
fleeting glimpse
[penny penpenpen] Hey! When I was at EMAP , we 'launched' Fleet News - my mother worked on that publication for years and years :-) Good to hear some stats though, but doubt if I'll get the chance to use them this season, which ends in a few weeks for an Easter break.
Did I really say that word? Easter?
[nights] a pedometer might help :-)
[Chalky] EMAP, eh? I used to get a magazine they did... almost certainly a computer one (but I can't remember which), and definitely before all computer magazines turned crap.
EMAP
They do er, "Steam Railway". I sent them a load of B&W pics I took in the late fifties as they had expressed an interest. They forgot about them. Then they lost them. Then they found them, and finally they sent them back. This took nearly 3 years. Amazingly, "Steam Railway" is quite a good magazine, if you're into that sort of thing.
That's hardly surprising, considering the vast quantity of royalty-free photography they obviously have access to (a.k.a. to which they obviously have access). Sounds like a tenderfull of fun and I'd order it right away but I can't afford the fee until my subscription to "B&W Steam Photography" expires/evaporates/condenses.
Steam Railway
Rosie] Amazingly? I think "if you're into that sort of thing" means that the magazine would be quite good by definition - does it have much competition?
[Tuj] Oh, I wouldn't be so sure you'd automatically like a magazine just cos you're interested in the topic! I mean, I'm very much into retro games, but many of the magazines devoted to it are truly dreadful.
The Amazing Quality of Steam Railway
(Tuj) Amazing that they produce quite a good magazine despite their apparent administrative incompetence with my photos. There's no competition, strictly speaking, because they are only concerned with preserved railways and are by far the leading magazine for that. There are other steam loco magazines devoted to the real steam era (mainly 50's and 60's), when engines were a bit grubby but really worked hard instead of poncing about at 25 mph with two coaches, and all dolled up with polished brass and gleaming paintwork but emitting vast plumes of black smoke because they're overfired by nervous incompetents. You can't say anything, of course, because tremendous amounts of labour go into the appearance of the engines but to me they look unreal, a bit like brickies at a posh wedding (snobby bugger).
[chalky] bite me, I'm an arts student, I don't know any better

[darren] I'm glad someone else recognises the rubbishness of games magazines. I remember amiga power and CVG with a sort of warm glow.
[nights] A mate of mine does CDs/DVDs with scans of classic games mags, good quality too (they include all the covertapes and stuff too)... if that sort of thing would interest you! (He spends more time than you would care to contemplate on obtaining and scanning all these mags.) The first ten years of C&VG are on one of these DVDs.
[darren] wooooww... I was reading C&VG around 1997 - 1998 (around when tomb raider II came out, the article reviewing it started my tomb raider obsession) so if your friend has that period I'd be deeply interested...
[nights] Hehehe, C&VG started in November 1981, so the first ten years covers 1981-91, which I suspect may have been a little before your time! In the early days it was largely a type-in listings mag (initially aimed at those who had built computers from kits), and then shifted slightly into an 8-bit games review mag. From then on, it was on its way to being as it is now.
C&VG
So I guess I'm not the only one who used to wait with baited breath for the next issue of C&VG with its BASIC game listing and, more importantly, error corrections from the previous issue's game?
Realtime Pilgomation Service
Just in case anyone was unaware, there is a pilgrimage on 5th March. I for one am greatly looking forward to meeting the estimable Mr Dunx. Meanwhile, the Monday-night e-pilgs seem to have kicked orff again. The 'Easterners' (flerdle, Néa PaulWay) seem to be in by 8pm GMT (long before then, quite probably) with the 'Centralists' dribbling in a little later. If you've not been before, follow the 'Real Time...' link on MCiOS.
games with my floppy
I have become all nostalgic for the simpler games, shareware that small enough to fit on a floppy. One of the first we played in the office (during lunch) was Gods, a great little platform game. Just found it to download - wonderful.
early early
[rab] Waaaaaah, want to pilgy-pilg! I don't know when I'll be returning to those shores, unfortunately - probably not for a long time.
The e-pilgs have been much fun. Yes, I'm usually there earlier -- by 7pm GMT -- and a few others dribble in shortly after that... for me it's that time simply because it's already 11pm by then here and I usually can't stay for more than an hour or two.
chatting away
I'll try to make it but will be very late after I've finished being quizmaster in another chat room :(
Gods
[Inkspot] Although "Gods" is still a little too recent to be retro for me, the "Into the Wonderful" theme tune from it is actually one I do love playing on piano. Perhaps if enough people come to the Rugby pilg who are remember such games, I could play you a few classic gaming tunes on Projoy's piano.
Shhh!
[Inkspot] Gods wasn't shareware, it was good old comes-in-a-huge-box-for-£30 commercial software with a demo for magazine coverdisks. I hope it's been "abandoned" (or you got said demo) and you've not been using a works machine/connection to infringe copyright. Or that The Powers That Be don't find out, or care.
[Darren] Can you also perform on your piano the theme tune from the other Bitmap Brothers side-scrolling platformer, Magic Pockets?
I hope I'm remembering my publishers correctly here, and haven't just committed a terrible faux pas.
Nope, GODS is definitely not abandonware. It can in fact still be purchased, albeit peculiarly only for the Archimedes (someone ported their games to the Archimedes?! Good Lord!). And hurrah, faux pas avoided! Double points for me! But negative points for starting sentences with 'and' and 'but' in quick succession.
Magic Pockets, music by Richard Joseph (although somewhat originating with Betty Boo). I've met him a few times (and come to think of it I have a photo of him with me on my site). As for playing it, that voice is a bit too high even for me!
Correction: I have a photo I took of Richard on my site. Warren Pilkington has a photo of me with him.
chatties
[chat] unfortunately, the innernet has been particularly unreliable this last five days or so, which has been highly frustrating -- so don't be surprised if I don't make it tonight, or am late, or if I disappear prematurely.
I should be able to epilg from about 19h30 GMT as I'm home... hey, that's NOW! *heads for epilg*
Going back a bit earlier.
[C&VG] I had one of my games printed in C&VG back in 1985-ish. "Oggs' Eggs" Lovingly written in Atari BASIC. I got paid! Yey!
[Boolbar] Found it. Issue 44 (June 1985), pages 56 & 61, with ads for Atari, Dam Busters and Lode Runner in between! Actually says here you wrote it in 1982... took a while to get it published then!
[Darren] Sure did, by the time they published that I was into writing games written in machine code. The Atari is in the attic, I wonder if it still works . . .
Did you get any of your machine code efforts published anywhere? (I mean in boxed form, rather than magazines, of course.)
[Darren] No, they were purely for my own fun, since few games written for the old Atari 400/800 were any good ("Star Raiders" and "Mercenary" aside). I aimed for crude graphics, crude sound but very playable and increasing difficulty the longer you played.
There you have hit the nail on the head, as regards why I still play retro games. They tended to be a lot more playable. You had less in the way of graphics (generally speaking) and sound (also generally), but that made the programmers try all the harder to make games that were fun. I find many modern games extremely tiresome. I had my first computer in 1983 (an Acorn Electron), and that's the one where I first learnt to program. As time went on I moved through the C64, Amiga and now PC (not counting consoles). These days I have got myself a nice little retro collection, having added various other machines to the set (ranging from Atari 2600 to Spectrum to... well, Dreamcast!). I'm sure a part of it is simply nostalgia for childhood, but when it comes down to it, I really do find a lot of older games more entertaining than newer ones - even if the older games are not ones I grew up playing.
(OK, Dreamcast is too recent to be retro, but it is obsolete, which is half the battle!)
Thanks - you've just provided some inspiration for the 'You know when...' game.
'Leccy
[Darren] Cor, another one! That's you, Kevan, me and this guy (note: lots of swearing. Lots. It's also a games-related website, for those with bonus-annoying work nannies).
[Nik] Yeah, nothing like playing on the Elk. I still have a few. When I was at CGEUK I had the opportunity to fiddle with a heavily souped-up Turbo Electron (a photo is in my Yahoo album), which boasted a 256K RAM-drive among other things.
[Darren] I like your MC sims!
aaaargh
[Boolbar] You obviously don't frequent the Orange MC chatgame.
*switches off*
[Chalky] I just did - I haven't been there for 6 months by the looks of it.
*Goes back to watching the pretty snowflakes*
Elktastic
Add me to the pile of people who couldn't afford a BBC micro were proud owners of an Acorn Electron.
Acorn computers
I've had an Acorn computer of one sort or another for over 20 years. The latest, if you can call it that, is the A7000. I use it for keeping my weather records, creating my own little games and general mathematical recreations. The BBC Basic is so easy to use I can write programs blindfold, pissed and hanging from the doorway (like the young lady from Norway). (Darren) I used to write machine code stuff on the Spectrum. What a bunch of nerds we all are. :-)
knerds
Me too! Well, sort of. I began my computer career with a Commodore Vic 20. If memory serves me right it had 3.5K of memory and I thought that was somewhat extravagant. How times change. From there I progressed through a C64 an Amstrad 128 (colour!) and then into IBM compatibles - originally the 640K monsters and then the 286 processors and onwards.
I have never coded in machine code but had an absolute ball (and much satisfaction) using the various breeds of BASIC. I feel that I must have had more time on my hands than I now do. I do remember 'inventing' a tree-sort programme in BASIC - it took me ages to get it working properly - only to find that I'd simply reinvented the wheel. Still, it worked well and put the 'bubble' sorts of the day to shame. Whilst I've taken the trouble to learn COBOL - because of where I was working at the time - I really have not progressed much further. I had (long forgotten) a smattering of 'C' and a couple of its later incarnations but was most assuredly not adept at either. All the later stuff seems too verbose to me. Bring back the days of tight code - someone else may not be able to read it but that's their problem!
You know, I can still remember some of the POKE and PEEK codes for the Commodore 64. 53280 was to change the border colour, 53281 the screen colour. I felt just like a real programmer!And when I worked out how to do multicoloured sprites (in *four* colours) - well.

Looks like an appropriate place to remind us of Hey Hey, 16k too...
[preceding few posts] uhm... er... yeah... hey look it's snowing!
[nights] Not 'round our bloody way, it isn't! It's all melted, and it's now raining!
Steam-age computers
(Breadmaster, Darren) Yep, happy days. I always thought POKE a bit rude and if you POKEd the wrong number in it all crashed. (nights, Uncle K) Up here on the Downs at Warlingham, aka Little Siberia, the houses are groaning under the weight of a good inch of snow. We were told to expect 10-15 centimetres (whatever they are) and more on hills (i.e. here). As someone who used to be in the business all I can say is that the forecast was hysterical.
[uncle k] so where are you then?
[nights] I'm currently slaving away in my office in Barking.
[Rosie] BBC BASIC didn't have POKE, per se. It had other indirection operators, $, ? and !, which allowed memory to used rather like variables. For example, ?A=B would be the same as POKE A,B; and A=?B would be the same as A=PEEK(B). ! allowed 32-bit access rather than the 8-bit access provided by ?, and $ allowed string peeks/pokes. Furthermore, you could combine each operator with an offset, so A?2=B?4 would be equivalent to POKE A+2,PEEK(B+4) in other versions of BASIC. Although ? was arguably less clear than PEEK, ! and $ made memory access a lot clearer if you were dealing with larger data than single bytes. It also let you do some tricks which seemed mystifying to the uninitiated, such as CALL !-4 which would have the same effect as pressing the BREAK key!
[Rosie] Actually, since you still have an Acorn machine, you know all that already.
[nights] Luddite!    ;-)
[Rosie] I saw in my local paper today a couple of paragraphs indicating that Russian meteoroligsts will be fined should they get 'it' wrong. That'd spark up your whatsits!
(Darren) Certainly do. But I used to POKE my Spectrum unmercifully. :-)
Russian meteorologists
(Dujon) The perfect way of ensuring useless weather forecasts. Russian weathermen will now say there is a risk of everything but everyone will soon learn to ignore them, thus being caught out when there actually is a risk. So it's an absolutely brilliant idea. I think we may have more than a trace of it here. Have a look at my earlier posting.
We had some sort of snow early in the week, which created the lightest of dustings which remained on the ground for almost an entire night. Then it all went wet and unsnowlike. Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning and see *real* snow actually lying on the ground all over the place. It's melting now, though. Somehow, such brief snow is worse than no snow at all, as it's so tantalising.
[dujon] pardon me?

we had a midnight screening of rocky horror last night for rag week. myself and my friend hid in the proj box and drank while the rest of the audience yelled 'ARSEHOLE!', 'SLUT!' and danced in the aisles and also on stage. and there's a couple of people I genuinely never want to see in a basque again. so I'm sleep deprivated but in a rather good mood. and it's FRIDAY!
But does Friday really make much difference when you're a student...?
Arghhh
Nights - are you from bath uni cos we did that too? and if you are I am very confused............
Oh and breadmaster, friday nights make all the difference when your a student, well to some students anyway.............. Am I supposed to make up a cool name for myself? Do you only write on here at certain times? Where do you actually play this game? I think i would enjoy it if only I could figure out what the hell is going on I guess I am just not cool. Or un-cool. Or mis-cool. Or dis-cool. Or under-cool. Upset.
Past your bath time.
[Amy G] Welcome to the boards, the games are played here at MCiOS and Orange. It may all seem strange at first but this will pass with time; so I've been told.
[Amy G] Hi Amy G. I hope you weren't too put off by the intense moral discussions taking place on Orange at the moment! We're not normally that serious, unless someone splits an infinitive or something.
You don't have to have a cool name. A stupid one will also do, as I demonstrate. You can write here at any time too.
Cool names
(Amy G) Any name will do, provided it isn't 50 letters long. Silly names are welcome. Mine is, for instance, because I'm a bloke, and not a very young one either. There are no rules as such, but just conventions. Never post under someone else's name - that's very bad form. Write any time you like and welcome to the asylum.
Nom de plume &c
Inkers] I've been frequenting the boards for nearly 4 years and it hasn't got any less strange. I like to think I've been able to contribute to that effect.
Oh, and my name's origins involve York, Australians, boredom and archaeology.
It's very rare that I'm ever accused of being 'cool'... Welcome aboard. I'm not Scottish.
Names
(rab) Of course you're not. You're a one-time liberal Tory Home Secretary. (Tuj) That's an awful lot for 3 letters. I'm baffled. My own monicker is a nickname given to me in about 1967 and has a connection with my real name.
[amy g] wow, yeah I am. weirdness. did you go thursday?

[breadmaster] probably not because I work all day saturday, but you knew that already.
[amy g] Hello dear. Don't mind them, just come in and say what you think. My name is far posher than my rude comments might warrant, but I'm trying not to be too coarse today as you're new.
Just had a rather weird transition - from a National Trust working holiday leader training weekend for conservation projects, talking big ideas, supervision, conservation and green stuff, eating white bread and cheap pink ham because that's all there is to eat in a National Trust basecamp in deepest Sussex, complete silence and darkness at night and midnight walks under a full moon over frozen fields back from the pub to sleeping bags in a dormitory (is that how you spell it? looks weird) with 12 others and one socket between us, no radio or TV... straight home and out again after a quick wash and brush up to a house-warming in the upper end of the Bucks commuter belt where no-one had ANYTHING to talk about but house prices (all above £400K) and football, which is apparently now the new gentelman's pursuit. I'm a bit baffled right now. No doubt work will set me straight in the morning.
Dormitories
I have a afriend who is normally quite sensible and normal, but occasionally goes a bit edgy. In this state he often says in a slightly Teutonic way "I like dormitories". So yeh, that is how you spell it.
[Amy G] Welcome. I got back Sunday night from a Blake's 7/Babylon 5 convention in Hinckley, so that may give an idea of how silly I am.
[Amy G]Wotcha! As you can no doubt imagine, this is not my real name!
Get-away-from-it-all
[pen] You can't beat a spot of isolation. Helps you get a sense of perspective, I find. Although, unless you're a hermit, it's best if the isolation is of finite duration.
Staying in
For all those playing Celebdaq, the towers have issued a statement. From Friday the holding period for full divi payout is being reduced to three days (midnight Monday to midnight Thursday). This will be a great, treadwater over the weekend then take a leisurely decision on Monday afternoon. Hopefully story on the week should be evident by then.
[Raak] if I had known you were going to be away I would have recorded the rugby for you ;)
Silliness
(Raak) I thought Blake's 7 was great. Always watched it. But that was then; this is now. Nice to know people are all a bit odd. Quotation from someone-or-other: "Normal people are those you don't know". Carry on. :-)
is cleaning the oven with no gloves on going to make my hands hurt for a while, or will it make the skin fall off totally? I washed them hard afterwards...
"washed" them, eh?
It depends what you washed them with.
[nights] And depends what you cleaned the oven with too.. They'll probably drop off, whatever you used. And why was a student cleaning the oven??? That's incredible.Are you feeling OK?
All sorts
[Amy G] Hello! Yes, we are all a bit eccentric, but sometimes we can be mildly amusing, so stick around.
[pen] Sounds like... fun...
[Raak] Hinkley? ;-)
I think...
...we scared Amy G of. Oops.
I must be dismebowelled!
of/ off/ eff!
On second thoughts, I'm not surprised in the slightest.
[Tuj] well ... apart from you and nights, we're all a bit fogeyish :-)
Oooh, me aching limbs...
[Chalky] Fogeyish? Me? You? Never! Now pass around the Werthers Original and let's have a nice cup of tea and a sit down.
St David's Day
Good morining all. Only scored one in quiz last night and today is looking drab and cold outside. Milk no sugar please.
[Botherer] Actually, just outside Hinckley, at a hotel off Junction 1 of the M69. And speaking of motorway junctions, there was a short film shown at the con, called "Blake's Junction 7", in which Blake's 7 are imagined as a family stopping at a service station at 3 in the morning. Filmed on location at the Newport Pagnell service area.
sounding off
F*cking spam f*lters. We have a new one at work, and not only has it taken out an email from my sister in the US, telling me whether or not the birthday present for my neice arrived, but also a motor industry press bulletin - probably talking about 'sexy cars' - and a load of message failure reports which I need to be able to measure the delivery of press releases I send out. Not only that, but I've found that when I email our IT guy to ask for the messages back, he doesn't f*cking respond. I've sent him a very terse email already this morning, and my ire is still up. I need coffee and cigarettes.
On the plus side, I can now tell you that my other sister (the one who married in October) is expecting a baby, and a chat friend in the US has sent me some over-the-counter wart treatment as a gift.
[pen] last time I turned the oven on it smoked out the kitchen and set the smoke detectors off. and figuring no-one else would do it, I did it. used mr muscle, and washed hands wih cidal afterwards. the skin is still there this morning so it can't be too bad.

I only just got up. I could do with coffee and cigarettes myself...
handy
[nights] Mr Muscle? You wimp. I thought you were talking about caustic soda or sugar soap or something really evil and stinky. If that's all it was, your hands won't drop off, but it might exacerbate that limpness in your wrists.
My oven is "self-cleaning". It doesn't.
[Boolbar] Maybe it just has low standards of cleanliness.
Strangeness
What curious names people have these days. I just received an email from a chap called "Believer F. Management"...
[pen] oh thanks VERY much. just because I don't want to spend the whole evening cleaning... that's it. I'm going to go out tonight, I'll be in a bad mood, have a crap time and it'll be YOUR fault... you keep your implications to yourSELF!
[Raak] Ah, The Hanover International. Used to drive past it regularly. Preferred the Ullesthorpe Court replete with Golf Course me sen. You are excused... ;-)
Fogeyism
Chalky] I do my best to act fogeyish, 'specially if I look at the !York archives and see how awful my posts were back when I first ventured out into this place I know call home. (lies)
Hangover International Hotel
well that's what I read....
[st d] Maybe that's why they changed the name to the Hinckley Island.
is it bad that I needed red bull to get through that lecture? it's one of my OPTIONS for God's sake. I CHOSE to study it. wtf?

on the other hand I was playing tomb raider II till about 01h30... actually that's probably it.
(nights) What lecture?
Eeeeooo, Red Bull. Is there anything natural in that at all - even water? I'd never touch the stuff but my girlfriend is still capable of using it as a mixer and downing several, which I cannot believe is healthy at all. You're storing up trouble for the future, young nights!
[Breadmaster] Red Bull contains taurine, which was originally extracted from cattle. (Hence the name. The myth that it came from bulls' testicles is just that - a myth. The substance is found all over the body.) These days it's synthetic.
Red Bull?!
Ugh! To me, it has always looked like, and smelled like, urine. I am, naturally, not about to pass any comment on taste...
Red Bull has its uses - ie when you're at the far end of the M6, and home and bed are at the southern end of the M40. But yes, it does taste revolting, and I can almost feel it dissolving my teeth as I drink it
One more question please
What did I do to deserve this? I took a crash course in using QuarkExpress today, and now I have to prepare a page layout with pictures and edit, for the first time. I only had four hours sleep last night (don't ask) and about five hours the night before (again, don't ask but the answer isn't the same as if you'd asked the first time when I told you not to). Plus, fifty per cent of my team is leaving on a three-week holiday to NZ tonight, and I can't leave the office before he finishes off what he has to do and hands over the rest to me... it's already 5.15pm and I am pooped. :o(
For what it's worth, I think Red Bull tastes quite nice.
Red bullocks
Red Bull does nothing for me really. On the other hand Lucozade... (or at a pinch Dr Pepper)
Lucozade is good stuff, and I love Dr Pepper too. I had some tonight.
Darren
Alarmingly phrased, that (edges away)
the lecture was french drama. something I normally enjoy. it tasted bizarre but I no longer had the overwhelming urge to put my head down on my notes and sleeeeeep. there was nothing in it natural, but it did the trick. so all's well.
pen
Can I suggest you stop carping on about it here and get on with it...? ;-)
[Botherer]You can. But I wasn't actually doing anything at work, other than waiting for the NZ-bound colleague to finish what he was doing; I thought I was too knackered to start anything of my own. Anyway, I had a good night's sleep, and it all looks completely different this morning - we've had a good covering of snow here in Sunny Hertfordshire, for one thing. I think this is the first time in six years I've worn a hat to go to work.
Was I carping? Sorry. I usually prefer to whinge.
pan
Sounded more like a gripe to me :)
I'd have said it was more like bellyaching.
Cuss-tard
[pen] Have a slice of this delicious pudding that can't stop complaining. It's an Apple Grumble.
pun wars hoorah!
moaning
(pen) Stop going on about your petty work problems. I'll tell you what a problem is. Looking after a partially-demented and hallucinating, partially incontinent, fairly deaf, arthritis-ridden 93-yr-old mother 24/7. I can barely go out these days and have had to give up my Big Band as I cannot leave her for 3 hours in the evening. There is much else, involving doctors, geriatricians, social services, powers of attorney and fuck knows what. I am totally knackered. You've no idea how infuriating the extremely elderly can be or how unnerving it is to have to deal with someone who is having frightening hallucinations. The only peace is the wee small hours, which fortunately agrees with my night-owl nature. It can't go on and she is due for Respite Care, at least I hope. Respite for me, that is. A fortnight's freedom. But then . . .
Jeez Rosie - I didn't realise it'd got so serious.
It's bad enough having your social/recreational freedom restricted, never mind being confined to a space with a loved one who is slowly and inexorably becoming an unpredictable stranger - no wonder you're resentful.
Losing the Big Band thing must be particularly painful. I take it you can't get any cover for those 3 hours? I'm thinking - and this isn't as flippant as it sounds - wouldn't it be wonderful if there existed some sort of benign medication which, when administered, placed the patient in stasis. You could undertake all your filial obligations and when you need a break, pop her a pill, do your thing, and return with no harm done.
[Chalky] I fear that as soon as someone invented such a pill, some people would spend 23 hours a day in stasis, especially in old folks' homes.
(Chalky) The stasis pill would be a wonderful idea, but there isn't one. The nearest one can get is if she's in bed, and she sleeps well but needs to get up rather a lot for wee-wees. This is not always a reliable process (say no more). Sometimes she goes to bed early and I feel I can pop out for a swift 2 pints and a natter but I don't feel I ought to put pressure on her to do so. She has quite enough brain left to hate her situation and the problems she knows she causes me and the hallucinations are largely but not completely suppressed with medication. I have to be an accurate pill-adminstrator, 8 a day, 3 different types. (Projoy) You're probably right. It would be the easy way out and I'd feel guilty using it.
Ageing
(Projoy) Just seen your contribution to "You know you're getting old . . ." So true. :-)
[Rosie] Your story inspired my comment. :)
[Rosie] I've stopped. And I'm in total (but useless, admittedly) admiration.
(pen) Well, don't stop entirely, but you know what I mean. :-) You may not think me so admirable if you could hear my muttered comments to myself as I go round the house.
[Rosie] In the general scheme of things, it's admirable. And cursing as you go around the house isn't bad, in the general scheme of things. I lost a parent to a long illness a couple of years ago, although my mother did most of the caring and my father was lucid and tolerant throughout. What we said to him, what we said to ourselves in private and what we said to each each other were different things.
(pen) Thanks. In some ways these things bring out the best in people and as few of us are saints we then have to let go a bit. This doesn't matter as long as we don't hurt anyone. The case of your father sounds very like my father's death, too. He was 83 and quite all there but his body had given up. Between me and my mother his impending death was taboo and in many ways still is, even after 25 yrs. He was a lot older than my Mum and born in 1895, would you believe.
No postings since Sunday night. I hope my sorry tale hasn't frightened people off. Come on, this is the banter page. :-)
In Other News...
[Rosie] I said something... then accidentally lost it, and was so frustrated, I didn't try to write it again - although it was along the lines of being amazed at two generations spanning three centuries - that's some feat. :o)
We're out of biscuits in the office :o(
we're out of biscuits at home. lucky I'm not easting them for lent. in other news the work has kicked in again after roughly a month off so I'll be looking for some sympathy later this evening when it doesn't make sense anymore.
crumbs
* looks at stash of biscuits in his drawer - closes drawer - keeps quiet *
[nights] You'll get sympathy from me when I enjoy a month off, my lad! I don't recall that happening even when I was a student.
when I say off, I mean "without any major course-credit-carrying-assigments". I actually only had a week off university, some of which I spent on holiday with my parents.
[penelope, re: generations] My mother's father was born in 1870. She is 58 now.
(Projoy) So your grandfather was 76 when she was born. I'm impressed, not to say incredulous.
incredulity
[Rosie] I know that sounds unlikely, but remember that at the time of conception he was probably only 75. On a different note, can I add one more note of both sympathy and admiration for what you are doing. I freely admit to relief at having been spared that ordeal with either of my parents: my mother died fairly rapidly (and as these things go, relatively painlessly) of cancer, and my father of a heart attack just as it was starting to seem that he was going to need full-time care. I witnessed the alternative -- at a distance -- with both of my grandmothers, and it is obviously very difficult for everyone involved.
[Rosie] When I was at school, there was a boy there whose father was in his 80s. (I know it sounds like one of those silly school rumours, but you'll have to trust me that this one was true. Apparently the dad had plenty of money and the rest is history.)
[Rosie] Yep, your maths is right. It will perhaps ease your incredulity if I note that my grandmother was much younger than my grandfather (to the tune of just under fifty years, b. 1917).
Projoy] I bet he couldn't believe his luck!
[UK] By all accounts, he felt totally entitled to it. :)
(Projoy) Yes, I had to assume that. He must have been some fellow. (CdM) Thanks. One adjusts to each new little deterioration, up to a point.
Re: [15]
My firm has only recently rolled out a Spam Filter to stop us getting dozens of Spam messages inviting us to make money in our spare time, enlarge our organs, take temporary custody of large sums of money etc. These seem to come from people with very strange names. I had one today from "Alphonso T. Integers". I'm sure there's a game in this somewhere, waiting for someone with more imagination than me to institute it.
Alphonso T. Integers
[Kim] I think you've just given us the title of the game. Perhaps we could entertain each other by posting samples of real or imaginary spam messages?
Improbable names
Kim, Raak] I've been being deluged with these for over a year now on an e-mail address I can no longer use. It was quite amusing to start with, seeing the name on the message had been generated from two randomly-picked words from a dictionary, separated with a randon initial. However, the sheer weight of these meant I've had to look elsewhere for e-mail!
it's funny that I receive virtually no spam (well I get messages that people have addressed to the entire department instead of one group), which is either good fortune or the university having a good spam filter.
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