I remember a book by Julian Barnes in which someone lies on her back and smokes a cigarette all the way down without tapping it out, so that a thin grey column of ash is balanced perilously on top of her lips. She then reveals that she had stuck a hairpin down the length of the cigarette before lighting it to hold it together. If I knew how to smoke, I'd use that trick to impress girls.

[BM] Surely there must be some evening class you can go to.

For some reason I thought BM was going to give us the low-down on the ping-pong ball scene from Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. Its a great trick for impressing the boys...

Oh how I laughed... What's the trick? It's dead easy!

After running in the high teens and low twenties, the weather has turned = 36°C as I type. Urrgh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with that - it's tonight I'm worried about.