[Projoy] 'Feeding' is a word that is henceforth banished from my vocabulary. I will be existing on a series of meal replacements, (courtesy of that nice man at herbalife), caffeine tablets and cigarettes in a desperate attempt to prevent myself looking like a fat, shelf-bound spinster older sister at my younger sister's wedding in October, to be able to find something to wear for aforementioned wedding that doesn't have to come from the 'plus sizes' department, and hopefully to be able to fit into the £170-worth of linen trousers I have bought for the summer. (That's three pairs, by the way - I'm not into the huge-spending league just yet). I don't care that it relies on caffeine and soya. I just want to be smaller.

[pen and all reducers] I've just finished a 60-hour week [I know it's not a lot by some standards but it was very intensive sort of work] so it's great to have time to catch up with the Morniverse. It's also quite exciting to see a reference to Rugbypilging in May. I'm going to cut out butter for the next six weeks in an attempt to rid myself of this blubbery lump around my middle. Oh yes - I'm also aiming to drink a couple of litres of water a day.

As it happens, I'm also on a diet, and so far I've lost a little over a stone.

Although I am drinking a remarkable amount of water, I am not on a diet, and you really do NOT want to know how much oil there is in a biryani, as taught to me by a nice Iraqi woman. Further investigations of regional cuisine will be undertaken soon.

Here's a cheering thought: when the Allied forces liberated the concentration camps, they found no fat people. Therefore, it is possible.