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Great, now we've got Klingons as well as Dutchmen.
So we have double dutch?
I believe Klingon is actually a 70-30 mix of Polish and 133t-sp33k
Gormless old git
(SM) Can't figure out what 133t-sp33k is. Something to do with teaspoons, 133 of them?
[Rosie] Something along those lines. And good afternoon everybody.
It's a count of the average number of grains of demerara sugar. 133 teaspoons hold 33,000. Obvious really.
That's a mere 225 grains per teaspoon, which doesn't seem quite enough. It all depends on de size of dem grains. Is there an EU standard?
It's a level teaspoonful.
That means about 22 mg per grain, which is probably about right. If it were cyanide or nicotine you be approximately 50% dead.
[Rosie] Interesting coincidence, work today has had a similar effect on me.
*waved from Palma de Mallorca, message delayed in transmission*
It was surprisingly nice there.
I hestitate to mention it...
... but here in sunny Strasbourg, Christmas is upon us, with the opening of the annual Christmas markets. How are things looking elsewhere in the Morniverse?
Bah humbug... or pepernoten
Here in the Netherlands, Sintaklaas (December 5) is more important than Christmas. His arrival from Spain, as documented on national TV, was dogged by bad weather, but he is already out and about with his blacked-out moorish assistants, strangely all called Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) and gathering information about how good the children have been. Children leave their shoes out overnight in the hope of having them filled with sweets (snoepjes) if they've been good, and a lump of coal is they haven't. Traditional sweets are particular to Dutch tastes - pepernoten which looks like earwax and tastes of aniseed, and strange crunchy things that look like dog meal and taste of aniseed. I'm not fond of aniseed...
Pelargonia
I made some pelargonium cuttings earlier in the year - far more than I could ever possibly use. Enough to start a small nursery, in point of fact. And of course, as I didn't really care whether they lived or died, most of the little blighters have survived. So what shall I do with 'em all now? I've got dozens and dozens! Any suggestions? Anyone want a few pot plants?
Oh, they're Mabel Grey. Small, pretty purple flowers, but their main schtick is that their leaves smell of lemon sherbert.
gerania
[Simons] Give them away as Christmas presents or let a a charity market stall sell them? I'd have a few for my purple patch - they sound nice.
OK, it just took me about 45 minutes to cross the city centre on my bike, versus the usual 15. The markets are beginning to annoy me.
(nights) Which city? Truro? Los Angeles?
[Rosie] Strasbourg, capital of overpriced tat - at the moment at least. Oh, the tourists.
Invading markets
[nights] I shouldn't worry too much, at least not just yet. I think the plan is to do England first.
Blue geese
[Simons Mith] I knew it. I knew all that money and time wasn't being expended for the simple reason of spreading holiday cheer and joy.
Surfing archives elsewhere...
Next time there's a slot open, I vote we use the team colours option for a game of "Eamon the Chivalrous".
[Tuj] What's that, then?
Such a ladies' man, so he is.
(nights) Good question. I Think We Should Be Told.
A rather schizophrenic MC variant I noticed high up the lists in the archives at MCiOS and Orange. And I'm very much a fan of the team colour options rab gave us.
[Eamon the Chivalrous] I like it, a lot.
quietly now... someone might be reading this
*whispers* It's my last official day in the office before Crimbo. I'm only coming in tomorrow (a 70km round trip, btw) to collect my Christmas box! Below freezing all day today in Rotterdam. Nearly -5C this morning as I got into the car - and surprisingly as I reached the campus too.
Brass Monkey
Chilly this morning although no frost, the air was surprisingly dry and pretty well no wind here on the island. I think it felt colder yesterday because of the wind chill. [pen] if you are on yers 'ols you can maybe squeeze in some practice for the canal skating ;0)
More brass monkey
It's been snowing here since 11.30 a.m. and has just about stopped now. Total less than an inch. Temperature zero and last night it went down to -7°. (Top right-hand bit of Surrey).
We had a high of -1 here in Strasbourg, and a few snowflakes. Météo France are promising a lot of snow this weekend, but frankly, I don't trust any organisation that insists its name is written in print in ALL CAPS.
Happiness is
[Rosie] Twenty minutes ago the temperature at my humpy was 40.3ºC. It has now dropped by nearly a degree. I'm ever so happy. ;)
Megathermality
(Dujon) You're welcome to that even though I see from the latest Richmond AFB METAR that the humidity is quite low. Highest ever (i.e. since 1983) at Hughes Hall is 35.9°C, 10 Aug '03. Interesting, but I are a sweaty little f****r and don't want too much of it. 30°C is all right every now and then but we haven't even reached that in the last 3 years.
[Rosie] I assume you'll have got the snowshoes out to ensure that you get snowed in at the pub, rather than at the Hughes residence tonight, what with 20cm forecast for your area.
Bah! Its rain again today here. Still chilly, though.
A light covering of snow here, but a very slow thaw at between 0 and +1C. Grey and overcast though, so useless for taking photos. More snow later!
variable
It was 39°C here yesterday. I did not sweat, but many others on the trams looked very hot and bothered. Now it is 15°C and raining.

The last few days can be seen here (it refreshes and will scroll off in a couple of days).

(INJ) I'm just beginning to think they've overdone it for this particular area because the wind is too northerly whereas it needs to be north-east for us to get a good dumping when the snow is generated by convection over the North Sea, which is still surprisingly warm. East Anglia and north Kent will get it but I'm probably just too far west, even allowing for the altitude (560 ft). Verification time (as they call it) will be tomorrow afternoon. There won't be much after that.
Snow
3 inches so far and not much more to come, I reckon. The newsgroup (uk.sci.weather) are absolutely wetting themselves but many of them seem to have little other life than weather + computers.
No relevance, I just really quite liked this sentence.
The visiting fans were aghast when she blatantly snorted a powdery substance up her nose and nearly cause a large scale riot but although she stopped play and quickly looked in her rule-book, just because an uppity linesman stated that Thomas Cech definitely was offside, an official spokesman snorted and stated sarcastically that such a strange combination of circumstances would hardly explain how the former mistress of the Compte de Bergerac was magnificent but forever embarrassed that her sinuous proboscis protruded into the area.
I thought it was supposed to be summer
I caught the Great Melbourne Run on Sky Sports last night in my hotel room. I'd rather be in Leeds - torrential rain and a grey sky down there, when we'd had mostly cold & clear.
Oh, and about 2 inches of snow in the evening and overnight - roads clear, pavements tricky.
it sneeuwt
-4°C outside the house and -6°C outside the village, plus a couple of inches of snow. It all looks very nice indeed.
After a 20 minute flurry yesterday which left very unrealistic-looking white powder on my garden, which melted a bit, then froze solid, it's snowing again now. It's settling nicely too. Lovely weather for the funeral party who will be arriving in 90 minutes
[Phil] Yes, if one of them were to fall and hurt themselves it would cast a bit of a gloom across the proceedings.
Verification time
3 inches of snow (8 cm). Rainfall equivalent 8.3 mm after I'd melted and measured it. This is just slightly more than the normal amount for such a depth. In February I got 28 cm (11") snow from 21.3 mm rainfall equivalent.
(INJ) You are a very naughty boy.
[INJ] One of the funeral (cremation) party commented that at least the departed ended the day warmer than they did. He didn't say this to the bereaved family though.
It's snowing again in Leicester, with plenty forecast (or not, depending on whose forecast you believe) overnight.
Here for the duration
6 inches of snow since last night - Coniston in the Southern Lake District.
I haven't brought my power supply for my laptop, so this is probably my last communication for a week. I'll therefore be the first to say Merry Christmas to all of you. Have a really good break and may you all receive what you would have hoped for.
Well, the snow didn't arrive. So we have now had the sum total of about half an inch over a period of 3 days. We do have very, very icy roads though, so at least I can have some fun.
(Phil) Handbrake turns at your age? I dunno.
(INJ) Cheers, and may your stocking contain an adaptor.
I sent a card to my newsagent for delivering my paper every day, having all the stuff I want etc etc. But I'd bought the card there. Is there a term for this?
[Rosie] Yes - agedness.
[Rosie] Driving is one of the few pleasures left in my life....
Donuts (or doughnuts)
It appears that many regions of the U.K. are experiencing rather cold weather. As I type there is a cyclone banging around and about the northwestern bit of Australia. Now, just about anyone who lives here would tell you that Marble Bar is hot and could possibly be nominated as the hottest location in the country. The said cyclone has just clipped Marble Bar.
So I had a little bit of a look at Marble Bar. Even though I live here and know its reputation I didn't know this little bit of information relative to the town.
"It is known as 'the hottest town in Australia' a fact which is still recorded by the Guinness Book of Records. For 161 consecutive days to 20 April 1924 the temperature in the town never dropped below 100°F (37.8°C)."
I do so hope that that bit of trivia will make you feel a wee bit warmer. ;(
(Dujon) Doesn't the record actually say that the maximum temperature each day reached 100°F for 161 consecutive days. I can't believe that it stayed above 100°F all night, every night. That has happened very occasionally in the Sahara (and probably elsewhere) in high summer but is very rare.
At the moment a temperature of 5°C would be nice. It hasn't been that high since last Sunday week and it's been down to -7°. White Christmas? No thank you. That white stuff is cold and stops you getting about.
Bing Crosby
[Rosie] As usual here in the channel we have missed the worst of it. A sprinkling last Thursday which caused mayhem on the roads and now the sun is shining and its about 7C.
Yeah. White (near-)Christmases aren't all they're cracked up to be. Though we've had some crunchy goodness here, so I've not been sliding around too much on it.
[Rosie] Possibly so, but I don't really know and thus accept the data. In Dec./Jan. 1988/9 or thereabouts I spent four or five weeks in a place called Hillston. That was a dreadful period. At a guess I'd say that I experienced 14 days of overnight temperature above 100ºF. I shall check and report back should I find any objective observations.
Desert songs
(Dujon) I looked at OZBOM, an excellent site, and it confirmed that it was the maxima that were all over 100°F. I suspect the minima were mostly 25° to 30°. In the last few years Adelaide has had a record high minimum of 34°C. To get a minimum of 100°F (37.8°C) you really need quite a stiff breeze to stop the lowest layers cooling and becoming decoupled from the circulation. You get a sandstorm thrown in for good measure, of course. The only place that doesn't seem to need this condition is Death Valley, where there have been several well-authenticated instances of the night minimum being above 110°F. Glad I'm not the weather observer there, or in Ojmjakon, Siberia, January mean -50°C. Yes, fifty. Wrap up well, as my Mum used to say.
the season
Festive Fun wishes to all x
No sweat
[Rosie] Thank you. I must have missed that information, thanks for the clarification. As far as wrapping up well is concerned your Mum's advice sounds like it should have been originally decreed by one of those pesky Yorkshire men (before they subsisted on gravel, of course). ;)
Happy Christmas, whether you believe in anything or not. I like Dec 25th - probably my happiest day of the year.
Merry Christmas from your friends in the States. Today in Seattle (where it is still the 24th for another few hours) the weather was truly lovely - a Christmas oddity since we usually receive rain every December.
Thanks for inventing MC, and then for letting us with no Tubes play too. =)
Ching
Merry Chingmas!
Happy Non-Demominational Generic Winter Season Festival, everyone. (I'm told Hannukah is still on back order.)
Hakunnah? True, there's none in the shops here either, SM. I blame the Buying Department.
Looking back, if that was my happiest day of the year, the rest must be bloody miserable.
Wow!
Well - the finest winter week I've had in Britain for many a year. Most days crisp and clear, some snowfall most nights to top up any thaw and to keep it all looking nice. Plenty of fairly low-level walks with stunning views of the Lake District tops. It was real picture postcards stuff. Temperatures at valley floor level 0-2 during the day going down to -4 or -5 overnight. Got up to about 500m one day but just too much snow - breaking trail and post-holing to mid-thigh has me knackered after about 10 minutes these days.
A recommendation: try the Church House Inn in Torver - 5 locally brewed real ales and a chef who really knows how to cook.
[INJ] Sounds wonderful. I've just caught Julia whatserface doing one of Wainwright's walks on the BBC this mrorning - in summer, I presume - and I can imagine it was an uplifting Xmas week for you. Here in Zuid Holland, we're back to the dim, dank 2-degrees-and-withering-damp weather that eats your core. Yuk.
Happy New Year
Farewell the noughties, hail the new and sparkling teens.
(Softers) Well, at least the sun has come out. Well, I presume it's the sun.
I take it all back. Minus 5 degrees, dry, cold and clear-ish, with plenty of snow at ours, much less in the centre of Rotterdam and mostly clear roads. There was a lovely red sunrise this morning as I drove (late) to work because the car needed scraping free of ice a second time after the windy miller did it for me earlier. And a lovely street party last night with the neighbours - pea soup, rokeworst, rum punch and a brazier. And a enlarged version of a board+puck game similar to shove-ha'penny, at which I did not suck. Hurrah!
If anyone's interested - it's not gone above zero here in Strasbourg since I got back, heavy snow and wind shut the trams down for a bit on Friday night, and everyone's just getting on with their lives. It doesn't, however, stop me cursing the security guard at work's name up and down when he won't open the building at 7h45 instead of 8h. Grr.
[nights] Getting on with it? Whatever next!
[nights] Let's all sing together, shall we: "Jobsworth, jobsworth, it's more than me jobsworth". Blimey where did I drag that one up from.
"I don't care, rain or snow,
Whatever you want, the answer's no."
Is that as old as TW3 - I have an image of Lance Percival singing it.
I always thought it was a Jeremy Taylor song; certainly I remember him singing it, and I always assumed he wrote it. Now I must go to the google.
Looks like you're right, but that's not the context in which I remember it. It's definitely in black and white in my memory.
[IS,P] Did you spend any time in South Africa?
Whoever sang it, I would love to teach it to the people of France. However I've yet to find a good translation for "jobsworth". But yes, people are just dealing with the cold - the phrase "Keep Calm and Carry On" seems apposite.
Jobsworth
Looks like it's probably 'That's Life' I remember it from.
The Jobsworth Song
I don't know that song, but in my head as I read the words they fitted themselves to the tune of christmas carol 'Torches'.
Hellooooo?
It's been very quiet in here for the past week.
Oh sorry. I had the volume turned right down :o(
*speechless*
Warning, sports joke
[pen] You are Daryl Harper and I claim my 5 rand.
*gazes upwards at sports joke flying overhead, out of reach*
Howzat!
I think if you consider, you'll
Find that the game called Wizards' Duel
Has joined the choir invisibule -
In other words, it's dead.

It's not too much to do with me -
I've played but intermittently -
So would anybody mind if we
Played something else instead?
Not in the least. And an extra point for rhyming.
I was at a Burns supper on Saturday night at which the songs were accompanied by mandolin and musical saw. Not quite as silly as swanee kazoo but an interesting combination nonetheless.
[rab] There's evidence that it was 'cutting edge' music in the heyday of the mandolin.
Bugger. Missed Burns Night. Always meant to go to one of them.
We hae meat an' we can eat
[Projoy] It's not too late. Burns Night is tonight - Rab is obviously not a true Scotsman if he's prepared to go to a supper on the wrong day just because it's the weekend (unless he's going to another tonight).
We'll be having our regular 'confuse-a-foreigner' night tonight with guests from Spain, Germany and China. This is one of the times when my Scottish blood, through the maternal line, takes precedence over the Welsh, on the paternal side.
Alas, philspub is acting as a neutral venue for a skittles cup semi-final tonight, for which no supper is required. Any other week, and I'd've been able to do haggis for the skittles supper.
I suspect I might cook some tonight anyway, and have a small glass of whisky (Scapa 1993 is looking very inviting) to wash it down.
Malt Teasers
I suspect I'll be having a Ledaig 1990 before bedtime.
[INJ] Hate to disappoint you, but I am not in any reasonable sense a Scotsman.
Well, Burns Night was a non-event here. I did however have my birthday party. Involving a cake made of marshmallows, and being spanked for my years in the middle of a rowdy bar at 1am. It was great!
Age-related corporal punishment
They were all oldies, were they? Serves you right, young man. :-)
Worse, they were from the south. They have strange ways, down there.
I'm enjoying the new Cat on a Warm Tin Roof game (being a fan of the various film clubs). However, I was wondering if it was worth having an entry convention to differentiate between films, books, & songs... I was thinking - keep films in bold, books in italics, and songs in quote marks?
[Uncle Korky] I don't see the point in doing that. Am I missing something?
[UK] It's all that most of us can do to even post in the right game most of the time. I think you'd be asking way too much of us. :-)
Eh, if you're posting something unusually obscure, just post a hint as well. Besides, what typographic notation would we use for plays, musicals, etc.?
balloon.a.down.lead.like.goes.idea
[UK] Is your idea based on some local government entry convention/system/policy - ie. why do something once when you can employ three people to do it in triplicate? :)


[On the plus side - at least it blew away the tumbleweed in here]
Everything in its place
I'm sure we can work out a comprehensive notation system. Things like poems in UPPER CASE(unless they're by e e cummings) etc.
Clearly we need to start a notation game to sort out these little stylistic niggles before the new process is formally adopted.
Although, if we do that, we're going to need meta-notation to distinguish between styles proposed, under consideration, accepted and rejected. [Chalks] That's why we need a committee, of course; if you start doing this sort of thing properly it's bound to turn out to be more complicated than one head can contain.
I nominate Chalky to be on the ad hoc search committee charged with finding a steering committee to oversee the establishment of a notation game.
But surely we need to agree on the nomination procedures first?
[rab] Agreed, as long as we don't make things needlessly bureaucratic.
OK then, so I suggest the usual: each candidate will need the backing of twenty (20) signatures. In the event of more than one nomination, we'll need to instigate an election process. Obviously, the most sensible way to do this is a two-round procedure, where we use a single-transferrable vote to whittle down to two candidates, and a second round to decide the final victor. We will of course need to do this for each committee post, but it's a pretty straightforward procedure, so won't be much hassle to implement.
[rab] You start :o)
[pen] No can do - as maintainer of this site, it would open up a massive conflict of interest and leave me open to prosecution by the EU, probably.
*Resolves not to post anything stupid in future*
[Korks] Please do. Post, that is. Not 'not post'.
:):)
I wish I hadn't said that
[UK] I've made that resolution about once a week since debuting on the morniverse. Hasn't worked yet.
(INJ) Still doesn't work, does it. :-) Debuting??? Go on; it's a wind-up.
Daybooing
[Rosie] It's a tricky one, isn't it? It ought to be OK as a word, but I'm unhappy with all ways of pronouncing it.
verbing weirds nouns
I see what you've done there. Avoid 'debuting' at all costs. You can only 'make a debut'.
(INJ, pen) - I think I'd prefer deb-yewing with the accent on the first syllable. It'll turn up on Five Live now you've let it out of the bag.
While we're on the subject, how do people pronounce "valeting"?
deb-OO-ing
I would not say it, but if pushed, after thinking for a while: val-AY-ing or perhaps VAL-ay-ing.

Ugly.

[Flerdle] The common pronunciation I hear is 'VAL-ett-ing', at least when you're talking about car cleaning. Not heard it for being a gentleman's gentleman.
On a similar basis, I'm looking forward with relish to the challenges of gerunding "ballet", "fracas", "wii", "Playdoh" and "adieu"
(I've often thought the word "Boeing" looked rather awkward for related morphological/phonological tension reasons).
Ah, another good one to add to the list above would be "algebra".
I do have a fondness for the (not terribly prevalent, but permitted) alternative spelling of "queuing" that keeps the "e", resulting in "queueing"; a whopping 5 consecutive vowels.
Semi-tangentially
I seem to recall reading a newspaper article about an RSI-like injury that had been christened "wiiitis".
[INJ] That reminds me that "buffet" is pronounced "boo-fay" except when referring to catering provision on British trains, where it's "buff-it".
[rab] Really? I beg to differ. "Buff-it" would only be used by me as a verb relating to what strong winds can do to a person.
Buff, Eh?
[Rab] Not to mention the notices on the cross-channel ferries which say: 'To the buffet/Au Snack-bar'
aye, buff, ay!
Saying "boof-ay" here would get you strange looks.
(and that's for any pronunciation of "oo")
[flerdle] even "stool"?
I thought girls had "boof ay's" in the '60s.
(Phil) When you've polished your nice brass beer pump don't you then buff it for that extra gleam?
[Phil] Especially!
[Rosie] No. I have staff to do that for me :)
[flerdle] how are you pronouncing the "boof" of "boof-ay"? Like "boo" or "book"?
actually, it's Smörgåsbord
Either works just as badly - as I said. It's always "buff-ay" here unless you're over 80 and posh or putting it on. Buff as in huff, puff, stuff and, um, buff.
Snoo
I don't think we've had a week without at least a small covering of the white stuff since before Christmas. Most weeks, it has been topped up at least twice, but mostly melts away before the next lot comes. Gah.
(pen) - Are you bemoaning the fact that it doesn't stay or that it's there at all? With me it would be the latter. Cold, messy and stops you getting about. This view doesn't go down well with the weather newsgroups but they're mainly inhabited by 13-yr-olds, it seems to me, even if their actual age is over four thimes that. Roll on summer. Then they'll start throwing their toys about because they haven't got their promised thunderstorms.
[Rosie] That it's *still* coming. It started snowing this morning when I was eating breakfast. By the time I got in the car to drive to work, it was white over again. And then there was a snowstorm for an hour or so at mid-day. I have to concede that the roads have been fine though.
(pen) - Nothing mild in the next week but no ferocious cold either. Just well, crap, really. Haven't seen the sun for ages or much of the night sky.
Zonne
[Rosie] Poor you. Seeing the sun from time to time *does* make a difference. It was sunny this morning, and it was an incredibly cold but incredibly sunny day last Friday, when a friend visiting from England and my sister-in-law drove down to Belgium to see an exhibition of hellebores (surprisingly interesting - and incredibly fragrant) and took two walks - first through an arboretum deep in sunlit snow but full of colourful flowering witch-hazels, and secondly across a brilliantly sunny heath, covered in about 6" of snow, when I nearly froze my face off. And the stars last night were quite incredible too. Minus 3.5C this morning. Light ice on the car. No traffic - school holidays - hurrah!
Oh, and there were two storks sitting in a rudimentary stork's nest on a stork's nest pole alongside the road as I drove into work this morning. Perhaps they can see spring coming from that height.
feeling the need..
To dispel any ugly thoughts about stork baggage, no, I'm not.
[Penlope] Oh, poor you. ;)
Well, that thought certainly shut us all up!
[INJ] Don't let it. As I tried to say on Facebook (for those what do it) I'm much better Professional Uncle material than I am parent material. Besides, kids are so annoying, and so expensive. I just got a fresh bit of freelance work in, and celebrated by buying a new handbag. Now is that responsible parent-like behaviour?
Uncle pen
The mind boggles. BTW My mum had a nice handbag and we were still fed.
A thought of more than 8 words
Somehow, CdM continues to make splendid contributions to the 8-word game despite belligerently flouting the laws. Top Crescenteering.
[Tuj] Thank you. My greater pride, however, is that I just provoked pen into a rules violation.
Well done all of you.
Pride comes...
[CdM] as a fallen dish, left cold. Or something. ;o)
breaking the silence
SIX degrees on the way to work this morning. All the ice has disappeared from the water in the canals. Meanwhile, in Vancouver, NL's golden boy Sven Kramer (one gold medal under his belt already) was mislead by his coach as to when to change lanes in the speed skating, and lost a second gold medal in speed skating last night. The whole country is gutted this morning.
kiddiwinki
[pen] Professional Uncle? Is there something you are not telling us?
Losing a gold medal
[Penolope] How can you lose a gold medal on a skating rink, never mind two? Perhaps he needs a tighter belt or a better piece of string. On a more serious note: How can an experienced competitor get it so wrong and then blame his coach?
Sorry, penelope, it weren't deliberate like. :(
It's amazed me how little the French seem to care about the Olympics. But then we have political problems to worry about - oh, no, wait, that was the Netherlands too!
voting
Yep - a tumultuous week here in the flat country. I get to vote in local elections here next week, which will be interesting. But I've also made sure I can vote in the UK elections. Hurrah!
Jesus HUGHES
(Ping INJ) - One of the answers (correctly given) in last Monday's University Challange was "Anarcho-Syndicalism".
[Mono] Ditto here. It feels a little immoral being registered in two countries, but I wanted so much to vote for our regional council. We're also battening down the hatches because according to Météo-France, "WE'RE ALL DOOOMED!"
Yoo-hoo!
Anyone about?
Bum. The windy miller and I didn't vote - we were sitting drinking coffee in a very genteel Dutch front parlour, looking over a stadhuis and a canal and talking about planning issues and weather lore.
Windy
No not the Miller, pen. Just bloody windy. Cold too. Brrr! Bring on Spring.
Coming out of London City Airport the other day, I was intrigued by two large signs instructing pilots to "CAUTION YOUR BLAST". Obviously this was the first thing I typed into Google when I got home, and it brought up many webpages with people asking what it meant. The answer I like best is the one that says it means not to accelerate too rapidly going onto the runway because you run the risk of blowing the ground crew over in the process.
(rab) How do you caution a blast? Do you say "OK, blast, you've committed an offence but we've decided not to prosecute this time provided you admit culpability"? Why don't these buggers speak English?
I think it might be due to limited sign space. I trust the interpretation of the message is part of a pilot's training, as being a native English speaker won't even help you with this one.
[rab] The turning points at LCY are very tight, and I suppose it must be to remind pilots to be wary of where their blast is directed.
This video shows an example of people not cautioning the blast of a Airbus 340, where the pilot has no choice of where to direct his full throttle "blast".
It'd be interesting to collect signs that don't entirely say what they mean. The only two I can think of are "Blind Summit" in the UK, which means "there's something you need to be ready for beyond the crest of this hill; such as a single-track bridge, an abrupt curve or a yak crossing, but we're not telling"; and one you often see when exiting tunnels in the US, which just says "Lights". It's reminding you that you might have left your headlights on when leaving the tunnel but presumably they don't want to say "Turn your lights off now" for fear people would obey it at night.
(Dan) There was a (maybe apocryphal) example of that at a level crossing in Yorkshire where it said "Wait while red light shows" in case there's another train coming in the opposite direction. But there were cases where motorists stopped at a green light because colloquially the sign means "Wait until the red light shows". There are so many ways of rephrasing it but they missed them all.
[rab] I had exactly the same reaction when I last went through there.
Weather
Foul weather here last night, our coastal roads were closed because of the high tide overspill during the rush hour, resulting chaos. Very windy and torrential rain at times. So much for BST!
(Softers) I see you've still got a nice bracing force 6-7 with a few hail showers. It'll calm down pretty soon, though. And don't forget that but for the clocks you'd have got them an hour earlier. Not everything is bad.
Ten, long days and a lot of chocolate eggs
So has everyone finished their chocolate stash? The windy miller and I have resorted to buying the half-price leftover Easter Eggs in the supermarket - cappucino flavoured mini-eggs for me.
Any plans for the weekend? We'll go out to Willemstad (look it up on google maps - the town's fortifications are shaped like Lisa Simpson's hair) for coffee and appeltaart tonight, and the windy miller will have a trappist beer or two. Other than that... I have no idea.
chocolate? what chocolate?
I had a Lindt mini egg. As I've all but wiped saturated fat out of my diet since about a month ago, the pleasure of eating it was overwhelmed by the disappointment that I had given in and eaten it. I'm enjoying getting into the jeans that I kept for 2 years in the hope that I'd fit into them again some day though.
[Phil] Now I feel fat and guilty. Cheers. ;o)
Trappist beer?
(pen) If anything loosens the tongue......
[Rosie] I imagine the brewers' taste testing sessions were conducted behind locked doors, and not everything was written down...
[pen] Soz, that wasn't my intention :-(
Html..
Hey guys, don't mean to butt in, or anything, but how do you do all the html thingies for the posts? I can do bold, italics and line spaces, but how do you do the other things. Please can someone help?
all the right moves ..
[FGZstar] Go to main menu page - bottom right you'll see 'settings - info' - press info :)
(FGZstar) Unfortunately, "info" links to a website (Dr Qu+xum, a former Morniverser) that is no longer there. Here are a few you might like:
hr = a page-wide grey underline
sup = superscript, sub = subscript
p = paragraph (adds an extra line space)
font size="x" where x can go from -2 to +2.
strike = a line through the text
href="url"> any message</a> for an external link.
There is loads more which you can Google. Go for the simplest stuff or you'll end up learning the entirety of Hungarian literature when all you want is to ask for the loo.
Cockup
Before "href" insert <a
As an alternative to monkeying with the font size, you can use <small> </small> and <big> </big> tags.
HTML Primer
I have a saved copy of DrQu+xum's helpful primer stashed away somewhere. I'll dig it out and make it available online again.
primed
Might be simplest to host it here if you find it. Whatever, I'll update the link if the source material can be tracked down.
Okay, here goes!

fraser+info2=success!

Thanks, guys! I seem to be cured of my affliction!

Dr Q
(INJ) Bugger me, it's still there. Why couldn't I get it earlier?
hmmm
[FGZstar] Curiously enough - I had a hunch you might demonstrate your new found prowess. All power to you :)
more html queries
Okay, now that I have the basics, I would like some direction in terms of photos. Can i put in the file ref of my memory card or temp storage device and it will upload, or do I need to keep the file in permanent storage on the computer?
[FGZstar] There's no uploading to this site, and unless your computer is running a web server and is online all the time, a picture stored on it won't be visible anywhere else. You would need to upload the picture to somewhere of your own on the web, and link to it from here.
There are sites like Photobucket that will allow you to do that. (Although I think that one's owned by Rupert Murdoch, so you may have philosophical objections to using it). ImageShack is another.
(Raak, rab) Can I do that with Flickr? My God, you're all doomed.
If it's on Flickr, or Zooomr, or anywhere else, you can link it here. Whether you should...
[Raak] Nice panoramic - but a bit sticky-outy to the right. Where be it?
(Chalky) Click on it and you'll find it's probably not far from Naarj.
[Chalky] The view from my office window (carefully zoomed and cropped to avoid the concrete). Doesn't stick out on my screen. :-)
One day, I'll put up a pic from my office window - downtown Rotterdam, skyscrapers, splendid bridges and all. One the other hand, from my home office (the spare room) I can see the sails of a windmill, a thatched barn, and the village hall. And a load of very, very ordinary houses, all very close together.
What about Facebook? I've got some pretty panoramics pics i've taken over my travels, I'll put some up soon, or I'll link to my facebook for any other FB members out there
Yay! It works!

Now the challenge: Name that location
[FGZ*] Bryce3D?
The shape of the bay looks a bit like Rio.
Nope. I'll tell you that it's in Asia.
Hmmm... That looks like a fair-sized city -- and I have been to a lot of cities in Asia but don't recognise this one. I don't think it's Hong Kong. But there are a lot of large cities in China that I've never seen, so I wonder if it might be one of those. I'm also a bit bemused by what is in the left of the picture: a rollercoaster???
Yep, it's the run-away mine train at a theme park which I visited. Sadly this particular roller coaster was closed for maintenance on the day. It looks like fun, too.
Ah, ok. It is HK Disneyland, looking over Discovery Bay. I've never been to that part of HK.
[CdM] You are soooo close, but no cigar. You are certainly right in half of your answer.
All praise to the Google
OK, got it. Ocean Park in Hong Kong. Haven't been to that part of HK either. Things about the Disneyland guess didn't quite seem right, looking at Google maps, but I assumed it was just something odd about the angle of the picture that I couldn't quite work out.

What kind of cigar do I get?
Here you go, it's cuban.
'Cuban'?
[FGZ] No it's not, it's cylindrical.
A week is a long time in politics. It's a long time in a queue for a Bucks Fizz reunion ticket too.
Q
[Phil] About 8 days too long in my view.
Before today there was 9-day hiatus in this very game. Quite inexcusable.
I suppose everyone just cleared out to avoid the cigar smoke...
Do other people agree that "Change Just One Thing" has become a bit stale? It was very fun for a while, but we don't seem to have found any interesting way to develop the game.
I wuld agree with that, when I suggested a sentence change I waited 2 weeks to get no answer, so I changed it anyway. Any suggestions for a new game?
June so soon?
This month's conversation will mostly be... contributuons please
British Airways
Why is it that British Airways can't agree with their crew long enough to avoid strike action? I just hope they don't branch out into brewery tours...
Particle physics?
[pen] Contributuons? Some sort of elementary particle I'm guessing.
Yes.
'Yes' and 'No' are the most basic particles known as contributuons.
Contributuons are not entirely stable. They are sometimes known to decay into mehons, particularly nowadays when enthusiasm is so often considered passé.
We must all don HAZMAT suits immediately, as prolonged exposure to contributuons can cause long term healf effects.
H & S
(FGZS) Er, no "h" in healf, BTW. Talking of which, why does anyone working outside seem to have to wear a high-vis jacket? Will it be compulsory for everyone? Should I wear one as a pedestrian? At a recent football match it took six big blokes and a woman, all with this ludicrous garb, to carry an injured footballer off the pitch on a stretcher. You could almost feel the self-importance oozing from the telly screen. After all, this was football, a Very Serious Matter. Come on, you Blues! (whoops).
A high-vis jacket makes a very effective Cloak of Invisibility (I am told) if you want to explore somewhere outside that you're not supposed to be.
(Raak) Mm, I hadn't thought of that. Could be useful for committing gross trespass in railway tunnels. (I have actually done that). It's a bit like donning police uniform without the risk of committing the serious offence of impersonating a police officer. One could get a hard hat as well and be pretty well untouchable. The more I think about it the better it gets. You could give one as a Christmas present to someone with low self-esteem but obviously they would find it difficult to adopt the swagger. Let us raise a glass to The Law of Unintended Consequences.
DayGlo
It is now compulsory to carry hi-viz jackets in cars when driving in France. Not just for the driver either, one for each seat and they cannot be stored in the boot.
[Rosie] Are you sure they weren't just wearing your away kit of a couple of seasons ago? ;)
(Softers) That sounds most un-French unless I've misjudged the place. Where are you supposed to store them? When is it compulsory to wear them, and if it isn't, what are they for?
(Tuj) Yes, not good, was it.
[SW] Surely that would be almost as effective as the swiss needing compulsory lifejackets in their cars. I think it's just an excuse for the Gendarmerie to nick any english folks who haven't been told yet!
Upon reading some risk assessments once, I was surprised to learn that we were required to carry throwlines when within 1KM of water.
(various) What's the chance of losing the will to live while reading a Risk Assessment? Shouldn't there be a Risk Assessment before one does this kind of thing?
Re: DayGlo
[Rosie] On autoroutes and main roads with hard shoulders. No guidance on storage, sadly. We keep them in the glove box. [FGZs] Not quite; the Swiss do have a few lakes.
On a completely unrelated note...
I am currently in Heathrow T5 awaiting a flight home to Edinburgh as the last leg of my 10 month world tour, and would you beleive it! BA have let me into their lounge. Free internet and free food! OMG!!!!!!!
BA Executive Club
[FGZs] Let you in for free? That can only mean bad news.
BAa baa black sheep
[FGZ] On my last trip via T5 I found I was able to pick up the free BA signal in the Wetherspoons. Don't know if they've noticed since then (or perhaps they simply don't care).
BA Club (not too sure about executive)
[SW] Well, apparently my round the world ticket was changed in nature when the person I spoke to put me on a new flight back to Edinburgh becuase the other one was cancelled (strike). It then became what is called a full fare ticket, which as well as being fully flexible, also lets you into the executive lounge. It was brill. Especially the fully open bar, where the spirits and wine and beers were just sitting for you to help yourself. And the sarnies were lovely too. Especially the cvaviar and foie gras on rye...
cvaviar?
Kevaviar. Yum. ;o)
I'm inburgering - I knew the back roads around the polder to avoid the hold-ups caused by a very slow double-portokabin being carried precariously on a tractor and trailer along the main road into the village last night. Hurrah! That's no mean feat when you consider that all the dyke roads look the same (raised above the fields, lined with alder trees and dotted with houses) and there are no hills or big landmarks to orientate yourself.
Clogland
[pen] Yes, disorientating isn't it? When I worked in Hilversum we used to play cricket in a field on the way to Utrecht somewhere. I could never find my way to it on my own.
Cvaviar
I will have you know that cvaviar is a russian term, meaning shrimp or prawns. Also, the Foie Gras mentioned was actually foie gras flavoured spread. BA's not that good, or they'd be able to pay their staff a decent wage, and not have a strike.
I'm new to this place, but it looks interesting
Is there an overview of the games?
Games overview
[Kage] Greetings! 'Games overview' - er, sort of. If you click on the 'Bushy Tailed' link you'll see an archive of all the old games played in the past that have now finished. That gives a good selection of the sort of word games and other random improvisational stuff we play here. The live games are the dozen or so displayed on the main page, of which this game, 'The Banter Page' is one. Then there's more silliness at the 'mcios' and 'orange' links lurking in the bottom left portion of the main page.

The idea of these is sites is to post a comment/move in whatever games take your fancy, then come back later to see what others have added. The pace is sedate - you get a few new moves on each site each day. It's a bit like Twitter in that respect, I suppose.

As far as how to play individual games, well that varies. The simplest are games like the limerick or haiku games, where you just post the next line to a limerick or haiku (OK, they're senryu really, usually with a comic tone). In most other games we're just making things up as we go along.

Are you familiar with I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue? This site is a web-based version of this long-running comedy radio show. We try to play most of the games they play on ISIHAC, and invent our own in the same style. That's what this site – and Orange and MCiOS contain.

indeed
Hello new chaps. It's just a case of slotting in and playing a line you think might be funny/constructive/setting up a killer of an ending. I think there's a lot to be said for generous play (eschewing the laughs for one line in order to allow the biggest laugh with the next player's line) and we haven't seen so much of it recently - I guess because Facebook is stealing everyone's attention and the moves don't come as fast as they used to. (Jeez, I've been playing here for 12 years!!!)
In other matters, writing for work is the last thing I feel like doing today. I've been asked to write a news article and there are so many stipulations and limitations in it that the commissioner might as well write it herself. Pah. Grump.
Article
[Pen] OK, I bet you £5 you can't work the word 'armadillo' into it.
[Simons] You're right. I can't get the word armadillo into it. Can you send the five quid by paypal?
Silly
What do you get if you cross a vibrator with a lizard?
Hidden textAn armadildo.
Braaaaiiiinnnnsss
Can I just say that I finding the ongoing MC5 Zombie carnival to be at least as entertaining as the Festival of Crescent at dunx.org? I now have a chance to play in Ex Libri Bardus which I didn't take up at the time.
Bushy Tailed?
Where did all the games in the bushy tailed come from? I've never seen any of them until they turned up there. Am I miising something? All I can see are the bright eyed and the bushy tailed. Are there more?
Yes - click the 'See more' button!
[SM] You think we should all start playing the old games again then? The idea of a Zombie Festival of Crescent does rather tickle me.
So, when is rab's birthday then? Seems like the date for the zombie fest. (Actually, it should probably be his deathday (i.e., pre-anniversaries of his death), but that's tougher to work out.)
NO IT'S NOT.
You do the math!
[CdM] This year, as it happens, on a somewhat numerically pleasing day. Certainly cause for some kind of celebration.
September 8? October 10?
October 20th?
Tennis
[CdM] Second time lucky.
I'm not understanding the attempt at concurrent cheddars in the 8 words room. I think I'll just wait for someone braver than me to work out how to play, and join in later.
[Knobbly] Now I'm with you.
Cheddars in parallel
(Knobbly, Tuj) Eight cheddars run concurrently. The first eight entries are the first lines of eight cheddars on eight different subjects. The next eight entries are the second lines of these eight cheddars and so on until, well, we'll think about that. Ideally it needs eight different contributors or there could be confusion. Thus Softers and I have done our first lines and eagerly await your respective contributions and those of others.
I haven't a clue
Listening to the first episode I've ever heard of "I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue."
[Rosie] Ta. Can't always explain what's going on in eight words I guess! I'll confess my original idea was that the first move would contain eight first words of eight cheddars, the next move the second word of each, and so on. So we'll get round to that when this comes to a natural conclusion, I guess.
(Tuj) I have a feeling this is going to go on a bit; we're still waiting for four first lines. Oh well.
(KagShuk) Few would admit to that. Well done. Pity you never heard Humphrey Lyttleton as chairman but Jack Dee is a good replacement.
Cheddars
Interestingly, the first three in the 8 word game can be read together or each could be the start of one.
in case Tuj stumbles in here...
Happy Birthday, Sir
football
wot a load of guff --i would sooner nail my arse to the floor than sit and watch a game.
Nailing one's arse to the floor
[gillo] I like the sentiment, but now I'm wondering about the logistics. I suppose you'd have to sit on the floor with legs out straight and then put the nails in diagonally from each side. Aim from just the middle of the frontmost parts of your rear jeans pockets to come out through the bottom middle of each pocket. You'd need to use at least 6" nails as well, I'd think, and I doubt you'd get a very strong attachment. I did try doing a little ASCII diagram but I couldn't get it to convey what I wanted.
Mon the Germans!!!!
I think we should have a poems parody game - don't think I can start it, can I?
I think that I shall never see
A purple cow that looks like thee
This poem is a pure mess
With lots of regards to Gilet Burgess.
That 70s Game
Took a gander and was appalled, appalled I say, to see no one had posted "Goodieeeeeees! Goody goody yum yum". Words fail me.
Game slot
We havn't played T.L.A. for a while. Any support for a themed version? Eg: M.U.G. - Most Under-achieving Goalkeeper - a World Cup T.L.A.
T.L.A.
W.A.S.I.
(What A Spiffing Idea - bit of a PG Wodehouse one, that.)
buzz! Penelope used four letters.
I think the Cat on a Warm Tin Roof is probably done to a turn by now. Perhaps it would make a good candidate for replacement by T.L.A.
How about a game of Fictional MC, where all the stations played in the game are fictional, and the player have to assign each station a place on the tube map as they give it's name. It may be inspired by a fictional work, or jut completely made up by the player. It could possibly replace Cat on a Warm Tin Roof. Of course, MC would stay as the winner, because it's quite irreplaceable in my mind. Any thoughts?
Morningside Castle
[FGZ] I think that's an excellent idea. Sort of a bit like Boardman's, but hopefully without getting as silly as Boardman's often does.
Actually, have had thoughts of changing the winner to Aldwych, since it's appeared on screen a lot, in various guises.
A week has gone by since...
It's all very well everyone being too polite to say anything, but it does get slightly tedious. Or are you all on summer hols? Next week, the windy miller and I will be mostly noodling around the north of England along Hadrian's wall, and visiting friends that I haven't seen for far too long. Can't wait!
Shhhhh! You'll wake them up
I think it's a matter of momentum and critical mass. The more people there are contributing to a site the more others are prompted to do so. I tend to skim looking for updated games and probably only review the whole morniverse about once a fortnight. We need to start an argument - that's always good for pulling people in.
I'm working in Newcastle this week, but next week I'll probably be in Leeds, so no chance of viewing some of the remarkable sights in the evening on Newcastle Quays together I'm afraid.
Very well then
[INJ] Really, that's the kind of stupid comment that could only have been made by someone who thinks speed limits should by higher, hates winter, is opposed to summer time, likes vuvuzelas, is a language fascist, supports Manchester United, and thinks Tom Baker was the best Doctor Who.
See petard - hoist by.
Well, your failure to proof-read your entry just demonstrates your lack of intellectual rigour and means I can dismiss your comment as unworthy of response.
Wait a minute! Tom Baker? I'll see you outside!
Can't you two boys play nicely?
(CdM) I, er, sort of prefer summer. Don't hit me, please, pretty please. *suddenly remembers who he is* When did you last experience a winter, anyway?
That's more like it
Scrap!
Fight, fight, fight!
Come on over here, CdM. Oh, you are? Sorry.
Vuvuzelas are one of modern music's most wonderful inventions and those that play them the musicians of the future. Who could ever forget the marvellous interplay of the long and short horns, the seemingly random effects produced by the instruments' flats, sharps and true tonal quality as exhibited recently in the various cities of the South African Republic? Sit down sir, with an open mind, and listen.
Every orchestra should have at least 1000 in its wind section.
[Rosie] I'm in the middle of winter right now!
Winter, Hah! It's not winter if you can go outside with fewer than three layers on.
Grim op north
[INJ] Dunno what you are talking about. The temperature has rarely dipped below 15C (day and night) for the last two months down here :o).
Grim down south
(CdM) - Yurss.
(Duj) Many big clubs here have already banned them. Health and Safety can occasionally be useful.
[Rosie] It does get nippy here and there down here. Charlotte Pass recorded -20° C a few days ago.       ;)
(Duj) - Well it would; it's 6000 feet up in a valley. According to an admittedly pretty crap source Sydney Airport has never recorded a frost though I imagine things get a little more parky where you are. English record is -26.1° (Harper Adams College, Newport, Salop, 10 Jan 82). The record for SE England is probably -21° at Bodiam, Sussex, Jan 1940. At Maison Rosie it's -12.9° on 10 Feb 86. Feeble! Even sodding Gatwick Airport has done better than that, as it often does. *sobs*.
Sitting on the Fence...
I am native to the UK, but I spent most of the last year in NZ, so missed the worst winter ever (thank god), and got a suntan instead. It was to my dismay, however, that I returned to find my mum had a better tan than me. Bloody global warming.
On a completely unrelated note...
How does one define next day delivery?
One more thing...
Since when did the Circle line become a spiral?
Next Day Delivery
Is an additional charge for the same poor service.
Monotonically decreasing radii vectores
(FGZstar) - Eh? Please explain.
Disappearing into a black hole
It was about 4-6 months ago. I commented on it in another place.
[Rosie] Trains now run from Hammersmith and then effectively transfer from the H&C to the circle. I don't know what proportion do that and whether they can go round a few times and then escape out to Barking. It's been the subject of frantic discussions at CAMREC.
NDD
[Software] Spot on. I bought some shoes and paid for Next day delivery, and had them delivered 5 days later. I was furious.
The Cir- er.. Spiral Line
I think they run from Hammersmith to Edgware Road via the circle, then back the other way. I will be down in London (hopefully) later in the week, so I shall report back when I know more. I only realised when I looked at the tube map the other day.
The 'Lasso Line'
It is all explained here.
Next Day
[FGZ] It is never worth it. I bought a TV (using my online trade account) to be delivered to my son. I was offered "Next Day" at £12.99 but went for the free option. It was delivered the next day.
(Softers) Ah! It is all so clear to me now.
(INJ) Oh, that CAMREC.
Overground
Has anyone else been on the new Overground trains yet? I think they should make the tube trains with interconnecting carriages too. It would save everyone ending up in the one carriage.
Who has to work to make money
I've got to write tons of articles in August so I can make money. While I like writing, the amount I need to write is not fun. I get page view bonus, too - quite like a salesman gets commission - and I'm also trying to hit a million page views, so if you don't mind, would you view my articles?
Who lives in Lake Charles, LA, USA . . .
*is happy*
Sorry, I've not been around for a while and I must have missed the arrival of KagomeShuko. If I didn't know better I'd think it was spam. But obviously a regular poster who usually makes witty and urbane comments.
In the spirit of shameless self promotion, can I maybe try to direct you to my blog?
who doesn't have to work to get money
The state pays me to be alive, along with a number of other age-related concessions. Also, I get a useful pension from BP.
who lives in Warlingham, Surrey, UK
*is smug*
[FGZStar] In the spirit of shameless self-intoxication, can I direct you to buy me a pint?
Who needs to buy.
[Sierra Mike] I will happily give you this virtual pint of tapwater.
[FGZstar] If you're heading out of Sydney or down to Melbourne or Canberra announce it on the Pilg page on Orange as PaulWay is in Canberra, flerdle, CdM and I are in Melbourne and I think someone's in the Blue Mountains.
Bugger, just realised you're already off in the land of the long white bodies, I mean cloud.
Oh, really?
Strange you should think that, as I'm actually back home in the UK (The blog's a bit out of date, needs updating)
a very pleasant chap.
[nfras] Our mountain man of mystery would be Dujon; he doesn't travel, so PaulWay and I verified he exists by going to Blaxland ourselves in December 2003; one of the first antipopilgs. It might even have been the first antipopilg.
That's flerdle on the right (as you view the image) and me on the left. PaulWay declined the offer of inclusion (he was too busy programming his brand new all-singing all-dancing MP3 player).
As you can see my 'pleasant chap' (thanks flerdle) reputation came from my inability to keep up my head and thus was forced to address my witticisms to the beer drenched table at which we sat. Incidentally, the drink that flerdle had before her at that moment was not coffee. ;)
Yes, couldn't recall if it was Dujon or Dunx and didn't want to cause anyone offence.
Really, truly, ridgy didge?
Was it really 2003, flerdle? I suppose it must have been as I have brown hair in that photograph. I now look more like a polar bear rather than the grizzly that I presented as in those days. *sobs*
Proof of existence
(flerdle) Oh, he exists all right - I've spoken to him on the phone, would you believe. A charming fellow but with a poor sense of timing - it was about 3.45 a.m. here but we yakked away for over half an hour. Must've cost him a fortune. One of only three Morniversers I've actually spoken to.
So is anyone but me actually in the UK?
[FGZ*] I was, but I'm not now.
(FGZstar) - Yes, me, hence Duj's phone bill.
[FGZstar) I am, more or less indefinitely.
Who just made a new website with the help of Giertrud
Please, go take a look at www.everlastinglight.tk and let me know what you think!
[KS] I think it needs some extracts and perhaps some sample illustrations, and maybe you should say which age range each book is aimed at. And it also desperately needs a professional portrait picture of you, the author. At first glance (and that's all you get from any web-user visiting your pages for the first time - I think the patience limit is less than 7 seconds, isn't it?) there's not enough information there to make the books appealing and make me want to buy them.
Right now it won't load for me...
You need to lighten up the background, as the text is hard to read, and change the font to being bigger and more interesting, as the current font is a bit dull. May I suggest Verdana or maybe even Arial, although as it's for children's books, maybe Comic Sans would be more appropriate. Also rethink the logo as it doesn't really jump out at you. I'll try and have a go later and if it looks good I'll upload it onto the web and post it here for you.
[FGZStar] I'm in Leicester. At Phil's pub.
I knew that one. What happened to your web page, anyway? It's coming up account suspended
rooly trooly 2003
Sorry, bit late, but [nfras] Don't worry, Dunx and Dan are always getting mixed up Elsewhere. Some people doubt that there are more than about three people actually here at all.

Actually in the photo I linked to above that's Dujon on the left, me wallaby in the middle and PaulWay dressed in a rather fetching shade of blue in the background (sorry about the poor light, you might not have seen him properly). I have met many people in the Morniverse, but not Rosie (or Dan or Dunx).

Closing time
(Phil) - FGZstar is right. I can't get the website. Wotchoobinuptu?
Furry animals
(flerdle) - Erm, all I can see is two wallabies, one central and bright, the other to the left and dark. Am I being a bit slow or has there been a cockup?
The Morniversers I have actually met are Software and Chalky, and v. good company they are.
[Rosie] The one on the left is, I was assured, a bear, albeit with a pointy nose. PaulWay is rather tall and rectangular, with a slight metallic undercoat.
it's his car's Empeg player
The physical reality
(flerdle) Ah! I'd best say nothing. These, BTW are me, separated by a mere 60 years. Control yourself, woman. :-)
indeed
[Rosie] Awww. By the way, you might like to see the next photo too (no. 9). I only appear in ap12 :-)
High altitude bees
[Rosie] Good Lord. Why is your beehive so high off the ground? ;o)
(flerdle) Only No. 8 comes up. To get the rest I have to alter the address each time.
(pen) Surrey slugs are the most voracious creatures known to man and try to eat the thermometers.
everlasting light
[KS] Echoing what the others have said - though I don't have a problem with the logo. It's not really clear whether it's up and running yet - if this is just a mock-up then I think you need to say so. If not then it needs more than 2 books (that's all I found at any rate). The warning around the young adult books looks a bit nannyish without any books to link it to. However the main problem at the moment is the legibility - it's not easy to read and there isn't anything that jumps out to make you want to dig deeper. Best of luck with the venture.
Logo
Here is a basic mock-up for the Logo
[KS] I still can't get it to load. Not sure if it is a browser compatibility issue; I've tried both safari and firefox on a mac.
pics
[Rosie] That's right, it's just a photo not a html page with arrows and such. There is an index somewhere, but my website is pretty disorganised right now.
still looking for any website suggestions
The site is up and running, but I only have two books published at the moment, so the website is still a work in progress.
still looking for any website suggestions
The site is up and running, but I only have two books published at the moment, so the website is still a work in progress.
Who has just done some updates to the webpage
1) Pictures will have to wait until I can get them done. 2) Books waiting to be added. 3)Besides those two things, does it look better now?
re FGZstar
Can't see the picture. Told me I was not authorized to see it.
re FGZstar
Can't see the picture. Told me I was not authorized to see it.
Should Work Now
with appreciation to FGZstar
Thanks, but the logo at the top is based on the publishing logo on the back of the books. Take a look at the "peek inside" and go to the very last page: Amazon Link Here
[KS] Are you the author, proofreader, publisher, retailer and website designer? If so, to be honest, I don't think you're doing any of those 5 things very well. I just skimmed through the opening pages of Ace's Adventures and, apart from the black dog scenario being rather old hat (and unsound
Hidden textif everything was pure black, even in daylight, the dog would not show up against a black background
), the introduction page has at least two errors: comma instead of period at end of first paragraph; "answer" instead of "answered" in paragraph 3. I'd also prefer "different from" to "different than", but I'm English and picky.

Even with my love of sub-clauses and punctuation, "With this book, you, too, can be a mystery solver!" just seems too much - especially for a back cover that is supposed to grab people's attention.

Sorry to sound harsh, but my suggestion is that you should send your two books to professional publishers, with an open and optimistic mind. Take on board their comments, because they really do know what sells, and how to sell it.

Now that's what I call a speeding fine.
You can afford it.
(INJ) It would be interesting to what his income was, and the formula for calculating his fine.
A mere bagatelle
[Rosie] I read it as 300 x his daily income of £2166 based on a speed of 300kph (but I assume there would be some sort of graduated calculation before you got to 1 days income per kph)
not suspicious at all
I do like the speed camera's cunning disguise.
A fine country
In New Zealand they hide behind trees and around corners with unmarked vans.
Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...Mustn't say 'And why not?'...
[INJ] I agree with your expressed sentiment. In New South Wales, where I live, the R.T.A. (Roads and Traffic Authority) erect huge signs by the roadside announcing that there is a fixed 'speed camera' ahead. People still get caught travelling above the designated speed limit. Really, how stupid can some people be?
There are constant 'Letters to the Editor' in newspapers declaiming speeding fines as 'revenue raisers' and that for some obscure reason the writer feels that a fine for exceeding a speed limit is some form of tax.
There is a simple answer isn't there?
Whoa!
(INJ) If the fine is proportional to the speed this would mean someone on £100 a day (fairly modest by Swiss standards) who exceeded a limit of (say) 120 kph by 10kph would get a fine of £13,000, which is absurd. Even if the fine is only proportional to the excess it's still £1000 for a fairly minor infringement.
The actual fine is so huge that either his income is much higher than £2166 a day or some other formula is used. Logically, it ought to be proportional to the square of the speed minus the square of the speed limit thus giving the excess braking distance. Doing this, one finds

fine = 0.004 x daily income x (V2 - V2lim) with V in kph

But applying this to the ordinary geezer on £100 a day doing 130 kph in a 120 kph limit gives, coincidentally, the same £1000 as before. Maybe it's proprtional to the cube of fourth power of the speed or possibly to income above a certain level. But then if you were poor you'd have no fine at all. I can't make sense of it It's all bollocks and obviously quite beyond the innumerates at the Grauniad, a paper I read BTW.
(Duj) Of course there is and they never catch me despite a tendency to leg it. But it depends on the fine. Speeding on a motorway (say 85 mph instead of 70) is hardly arson, rape and bloody murder, except maybe in Switzerland, a very well-ordered country.

Haven't I anything better to do? Well, just tonight, no, alas.

[Rosie] You may not know that you have to pay an annual tax in order to be allowed to drive on motorways in Switzerland at all, even if you are only passing through the country. Also, it's very hard to get in and out of Switzerland without using a stretch of motorway. Cunning, eh!
Swizz swizz
[Phil] Yeah - the payment covers January to December rather than a rolling 12-month period from the date of purchase, so if you buy it in October you've been done out of two-thirds of the benefits already, and the sticker they give you to show you've paid the highway robbery tax doesn't peel off either. Hmmph.
(Phil, pen) What a horrible little place, and in so many other ways as well.
Oh, I quite liked it...once I learnt to love efficiency.
Helvetia
[Phil] Your previous: Even Steve McQueen found out that, and he was only riding a motorcycle.
You have to hand it to the Swiss
Cunning, hiding the speed camera inside a perfectly innocuous six-foot tall, four foot wide block of Emmenthal.
[SM] Speeding cheese???
[Pen] The holes are crafted to give extra downforce.
Cheese
[penelope] You didn't follow the link ImNotJohn posted?
*grooooghyere*
[SM] I know the story, was just trying to paint a different picture. I think English cheeses are faster. At least one English cheese can travel at the speed of sound; Macheddar.
(pen) But only Brie-fly. Now look what you've started.
Maybe I'll sit and watch with a pint of Wensleyd-ale!
[penelope] Gouda you top that!?
I'm a sympathetic listener - camembert your soul to me.
Well, if one can't unburden on a rock like you, Rosie, what's a roquefort?
You can Comté me out.
Come, come, Softers. You could be a little friendleerdammer than that.
Oh Software's all right, providing you approach him caerphilly.
Yes but pen -- manchegoes on a bit.
Yes, but his views are similar to mine; Edamplify them, having grater loquaciousness.
I think we should all just chalk this one down to experience.
Hmmm, you lot are starting to get my goat.
Well, there's stiltons of cheese puns to get through!
Are you sure, because I'm at a complete g-lous-cester
Actually, I've decided I'm enjoying this little vignottes.
Cheese attributes
It needs a game. Biscuits for Cheese, anyone? And then when the cheeseboard is empty, other grocery items. *rubs hands gleefully at the thought of punnage*
That's a gouda Idea, but my cheeseboard is running out of content already
Wendy said pizza retard.
May I remind you that a rolling stone gathers no mozzarella.
Have we processed far enough on this one?
Microsoft would not tolerate further cheese-related punnery - but Applewood.
[Phil] MS were always a bit primula and proper like that.
[Rab] Absolutely, I rang them up to complain, but the lady I spoke to just made fun of me, the laughing cow!
I'll tried to give them a babybel on skype, but the computer gave me a BSoD (Blue Stilton of Death).
[rab] Sorry it took me so long to respond, but I was watching some Danish Blue!
[Phil] Whilst downing a yarg of ale as well, I'd wager.
[rab] Wise words, sir! Wiser than a Derby Sage.
[Phil] Well, a sage should know his Kraft.
I think this is starting to seem a bit cheesy!
[FGZStar] No whey! That same thought occurd to me as well.
who thinks she needs to find a clever Brit who wants to move to America to marry
When I was a little girl, my mom worked with ribbons and I'd wear them in my hair. Surprisingly, my friend would ask, what's the Beaufort.
Who is already married and has no particular wish to move to America
At the risk of getting onto a more serious plane I do remember going into a Delicatessen in Georgetown (a suburb of Washington DC, for non-US readers) and seeing a cheese labelled as Double Gloucester - the English version of Cheddar!
Next to it was one labelled as Low-fat Single Gloucester!
[INJ] That would be a cheese plane, then? They do exist, mainly to take molecule-thin slices of rubbery Dutch cheese of the right size to fit on a piece of bread. BTW, what's a cheese molecule properly called? I genuinely don't know. Cheesium?
(pen) There's every molecule under the sun in cheese (maybe not uranium hexafluoride) and some of them are quite big, like vegetable fats (50-55 carbons). On the other hand some are quite small and volatile like butyric acid, the smelly feet pong.
I want to know if at about 4pm, we can sit down and Havarti.
Thinks ImNotJohn is clever, but didn't say it was him who she wanted to marry
Oh, so we are on to chemistry puns, or cheese and chemistry puns? Cheesemestry?
Mercaptan's Log - Stardate 28810 :- Uhura is still banging them out, the dirty cow.
Ooh, spooky. I think you need to take a look on orange MC, Rosie.
cheeseshop
[INJ] I just saw a cheese here advertised as a "Goats' Milk Chevre".
(FGZs) Point me a little more specifically. I can't find any reference to farting there.
My location has nothing to do with farting.
Spot the difference...
Well, I wouldn't want to try getting around London with this. How many changes can you spot? (Comparison with the real one is cheating)
Easy, easy!
There are no stations, no lines, no key, no river.
Do I win?
Are you having trouble viewing the map? It's definitely there.
[FGZ] I like the idea of leaving it mostly correct with just a few subversive entries.
I suppose I did get a bit carried away, especially with the Jubilee line..
I can see it fine now - don't know what happened before.
Now working on another one, which includes all disused stations and proposed extensions (except fleet line). Any ideas about what to do with the white city area? It's a bit of a mess.
who knows nothing about the London Underground other than the funny black circle sign
Would need to be maps of Lake Charles for me. Then, I don't even know if I'd notice many things. I can get lost in my own city. I know I'm good. Why, thank you!
Tube Map
iirc somewhere in the ether there is a tube map where you have to drag and drop ALL the station names into their correct places. fictifino where...
Drunk Map
I think that I might try putting together a tube map with all the stations replaced with drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic). My thoughts so far is that the overground could be beer, and the circle line could be mixers, with possibly the jubilee as high proof alcohol. All of the connecting stations would be cocktails, and the others brand names. I think maybe the W&C would be just cocktails, and maybe the circle line as whisky.
Who wants to share more fun with people
I think many of you would love the site www.sporcle.com I love playing there and there are some people that complain about a few things being too U.S. Centric . . . so y'all could make a good balance most likely if you make quizzes!
*waves from Vilnius*
Yay! My Morphsuit has arrived!
[FGZstar] Pictures! Better yet, wear it to a pilg (see Orange game) and I'll try to resist the temptation to superglue the zipper shut.
BQULrfMYJfYgdDG
E93S6T hop hey la la ley http://avtozastivxux.sweb.wankah.cz
I'm not going to that URL, I might end up talking like him.
Don't Be Surly
And a jaunty "hop hey la la ley" to you to, Mr., Mrs. or Ms. XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg.
XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg
[SM] I did a quick Google search for the name 'XhLFMGIIvYvcLDqucg', and nothing came up. On the other hand, if you remove the 'cg' from the end, you have slightly better luck. This leads me to suspect that Mr, Mrs or Mz XhL FMG IvY vcDqu (whose homepage is here) may be operating under a (frankly, rather transparent) pseudonym.
Now Wash Your Hands Please
[SM] I followed your links and now I feel dirty.
translation
It does read a lot better if you feed it through Google translate.
Gibberish
Well, in most language options at least one recognizable word appears. I have noted sleep, even and Hugo after a few tries.
Ffolineb
Translating into Welsh provides only one phrase I recognised, viz Ysgol gynradd Gymraeg = Welsh primary school, and there is commendable gender agreement. That's what it's all about, then.
Who doesn't want to be a spammer . . .
None of that makes any sense to me . . . I'm just sad that no more people seem to be playing my Literary Rhyme Time quiz (or rating or nominating it . . . hint, hint). I took my time thinking of clever clues for that quiz! See? http://www.sporcle.com/games/kagomeshuko/literaryrhymetime Er, does HTML work . . . Quiz is here
Quiz site
I did look, and got about a third, (and saved a cached copy of the quiz) but I'm not really interested in registering. So I'm an invisible quiz-taker, and I suspect I'm not alone in this. The other thing is, as you said earlier, all the quizzes are mostly US-centric and yes, while it would be nice to make it more international, I feel rather too outnumbered by all the US guys to make any perceptible difference. Sorry.

Haven't got 'John's Stinky White Vegetables', because I can't think of a suitable literary surname, but I suspect you should be ashamed of yourself for that one.

Somewhere on my hard disk I've got a punny work-in-progress quiz a bit like this one of yours. Mine contains entries such as 'many-sized virtue' - 'paragon'. 'King's son publishes' - 'prints'. Some need more work, like that 'paragon' one. The clue doesn't fit the answer very closely.

[SM]
Hidden textBunyan
[K] I enjoyed the quiz, and got 15, which I thought was not too bad for the time limit
Hidden textwould have been 16 if I had been able to spell 'Malory' correctly; *hangs head in shame*
.
GQfQKSGtdcrLDjEcxtc
1EEjv2 hi all ?heey ? messus mangle
I think Simons Mith is the one to answer you there, sHEvKENZEyy. I believe he studied that very subject at university.
Have we all been shamed into silence?
[pen] Excellent! I don't have any good pics of myself to hand to try, but here's something appropriate.
who is thoroughly confused by pen's link
What's going on there?
[KS] I believe that is penelope herself in the picture (and a rather good picture it is too).
Another picture, that is, not another picture of penelope.
Posters
[aak] Thangyew. A friend of mine took it, insiting that it was homework for a portrait photography course she was doing. I was leaning inside her old garden shed holding two foil reflectors in outstretched arms. The wonders of photography, eh? But it'll do for my next book jacket, heheh!
Posters
Interesting in that Raak's is actually Raak.
[ISP] Well spotted! I am in fact a 28-year-old woman with a shaved head except for a tightly woven topknot and massively muscled shoulders and arms. Beware my biceps, for they can crack walnuts.
[Raak] I'd always thought you were in your 30s. Strange how things get confused :)
[Phil] It's a hard life as a Balkan mercenary.
This weekend, I am mostly...
catching up with a schoolfriend who is making the trip from Galway. I still find it staggering that I have had some friends for more than 30 years. Tomorrow, I have earmarked picking sloes and making sloe gin as one of our principal activities, and I notice that it's going to piss it down with rain. *rse. On Sunday (when it will also piss it down with rain), we will make an early start to the Vogelmaarkt in Antwerp so we can breakfast on pieces of fried fish known as kibbeling (yum) and waffles as big as our heads covered in chocolate and whipped cream, before watching the live kitchen gadget demonstrations, marvelling at the Moroccan spice stalls and buying trinkets and savouries according to our whim. (Is 'whim' like 'sheep' in that the plural is the same as the singular?)
Colloquial inconsistency
(pen) Shurely if you can say "piss" you can say "arse"? I know I can, and in style. I think the plural of "whim" is boring old "whims" and of "sheep", "sheeps". Just ask a Frenchman.
Old mate
(pen) I have a friend (whom I have seen recently) of 57 years' acquaintance. Is this a greater proportion of my life than 30 years is of yours? Come on, have to hurry you.
Quite so
Like Rosie I have a friend that I first met at primary school, so that is also 57 years, and I am younger than Rosie.
old acquaintance
I am 44 and married the person I sat next to in Infant School.
posters
I seem to have missed the boat a bit, but I've stil created an advert
Fail
[FGZ] Hmm. well done on the typography etc, but really, swearing? Do you really need to?
FGZStar's Poster
That went over my head I'm afraid.
The plurals of words . . .
are sheep for sheep and fish or fishes for fish. Sheeps is only a form of a verb. Sheeps means grazes. Yes, the plural of "whim" is boring old "whims." However,there is "cacti" and "cactuses." Even more fun is that there is "octopi," "octopuses," and "octopodes." More plurals fun: rhinoceroses, rhinoceri, rhinocerotes.
Yes, I'm afraid I also fond FGZstar's poster both meaningless and mildly offensive.
[Plural] I still occasionally come across people who insist "data" can only be a plural. Funny that they don't make the same fuss about "agenda".
[INJ/SM] I presume it was intended as the opposite of the magnificent "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters of the Second World War.
Kornfläken
(ISP) I think "data" can be both but I agree that to insist that it is always plural is pretentious and a bit annoying, a bit like government propagandums.
(Phil) Don't quite remember 'em, but if you say so. :-)
[Phil] Thanks. I'm not overly conversant with WWII UK memes unfortunately. In fact, Mr. Chad (known elsewhere as Kilroy) is the sum total of my knowledge of the matter. Or was, since I now know something else thanks to you and FGZStar.
I recognised the reference to 'Keep Calm and Carry On' - available on mugs near you - but still don't see what FGZstar means. I'm happy to accept that it's just a generational thing.
About datum and agendum
Datum and agendum are singular. One singular piece of data and one singular thing to do, rather than a list. The minute it is two (or more) they become data and agenda. So, "What's on the agenda?" is correct being people are going to expect more than one item. If I say the only thing on the agenda is the meeting, that's wrong, it's the agendum. Yes, I am just being a grammar nazi. I don't really care that much about those words.
To more interesting topics, like how this forum works
I'm trying to do the hidden words thing.
Hidden textIs this how I hide words?
Wow! I must be smart!
I figured that out!
Hidden textI must be smart!
At least, that is not when trying to make text small.
[INJ} I am given to understand by today's youth that "to bail" would indicate giving up in a dramatic way. It would appear to come from "bailing out (of an aeroplane)". Incidentally, "Keep Calm and Carry On" is available on a mug in my own kitchen.
agendum?
[Kagome...] If you have a lst of things to be done (from the latin gerundive), or an agenda, and it only contains one item, it is still a list of things to be done. So I disagree, and would say that an agenda for a meeting is always an agenda, regardless of how many items are on it. More specifically, each item on an agenda would be an agendum.
[Kag] And you got the singular of Nazi wrong too; it's Nazus. :-)
[Phil] I have it on very good authority that each thing on an agenda is an itum.
with an upside-down crown
[Phil] I have a "Keep Calm and Carry On" t-shirt. frogstar has one that says "Now Panic and Freak Out". To date I don't think we've worn them at the same time.
[KS] A datum is a data point and so is a count noun with a plural of data. However data meaning information is a mass noun and takes a singular agreement.
Everybody Keep Calm
The whole 'Just Bail' Idea related to something one of the guys I know from my accommodation, who once said 'let's just bail' at a party, and so it stuck, and got written on a large board and put in the window. It was then at a recent poster sale that we saw a 'keep calm' poster, and decided to change it. It was initially going to be 'Just Bail', but this would not fit with the whole idea of an odd number of lines, so the expletive got added. We are now planning on getting the poster printed up at A2 or A1 size, and put on the kitchen wall.
Now Carry On...
I have now had a tinker with the old photoshop, and have made something else. Hopefully you'll all find this one more to your liking.
Whoops!
Ignore the above. This is actually the link.
[FGZ] You want to put up that helpful new tube map you've been working on...
bailing
And I thought that bailing, or bailing out, was a nautical term . . .
US Politics
So if Obama bailed out the banks, does that mean he dumped all the water out of them?
Damn Yankees
I believe that in the form stated it is more a metaphor for removing someone from the tender mercies of the law by posting a bond so that they don't have to sit in a cell until they are called to answer for their deeds. Of course, the financial "experts" behind the whole meltdown will never be called to answer for their deeds, so it all metaphorically falls apart. Rather like The Bailout.
Baling out
This is enlightening: bale or bail
Wouldn't "Bale Out" be some sort of harvest-related activity, possibly taking place in WWII and involving steam tractors and Land Girls?
Bale Out
And I thought it would be taking blocks of hay out of the barn.
The Phrase Finder
The phrase finder site is great! It is often a start for my research on the origins of phrases when I write that type of article, and often quoted as the source as many sources are mentioned on the pages.
Keep calm and swear your head off
I was at Liverpool Street station at the weekend, and was mildly shocked (although not, being me, actually offended) to walk past a (shut) kiosk proudly displaying a greetings card with the message "KEEP CALM AND FUCK OFF" to any and all passers by. I suspect that Mary Whitehouse would not have approved...
[jim] I suspect you are right. Nothing good ever came of telling that lady to keep calm.
Acronym
Yes, I believe she formed a campaign originally entitled Clean Up National Television.
Acronyms
TLA has just been closed. Any ideas for a new game?
Anything like a poetry parody game?
I think that I shall never see
A purple cow that looks like thee
This poem is a pure mess
With lots of apologies to Gilet Burgess.
*controversial* a game of Mornington Crescent perhaps?
MC game
Well, we could... Could someone just go over the rules quickly? It's been so long.
Tongue in Cheek
[KagomeShuko] See: The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

Though to be fair I saw no problem with your mother's snoring since it followed the same beat as my favourite limerick by Spike Milligan:
Things that go bump in the night
Should really not give one a fright
It's the hole in each ear
Which lets in the fear
That, and the absence of light

If we've got to the point where people would object to Spike if he were to post that, we are in trouble.
If we've got to the point where Spike posts that, then the dead are walking the earth and we have greater worries than scansion.
True. :/
Post-Hallowe'en
Is it just me who uses the apostrophe there?
[Pen] Surely it should be 'Hallow'e'en'
erm...
Missing S & missing V? Perhaps. But it's deffo not the way Hallmark spell it.
[Pen] I was starting from 'All Hallows Eve' but then had to account for the final 'n' so I've taken Halloween to be an abbreviated form of 'All Hallows Eventide'.
[penelope] You've missed the apostrophe from penelop'
[Phil] I've missed a lot of things in my time. *sigh*
I'd be grateful for more movers and shakers in the limericks game please - to set good examples of rhyming and scansion to those perhaps less accustomed to the sound and feel of a good limerick, and perhaps also to show Marc that there are other subjects apart from sex to be limericked, and repeated references tend to make people drift away from the game.
[Pen] That's unfair to Marc. You have to go back over 20 screens and 50-100 moves to see the last time he tried anything even remotely naughty. And he got told off last time as well. By you...
hmmm
Really? Apologies if it seemed unjust - but I have that impression. I will try to adjust my stance.
I'm with Pen
Though not, perhaps, in singling out Marc. I think there have a few too many somewhat coarse limericks across all the servers recently. We need a few rules of thumb here like:
- First lines ending 'Phuket' (or Nantucket, etc.) are never going to be funny
- Filth is always funnier if it's not signalled in advance.
Add your own.
(INJ) I agree more or less with your filth stance though if someone puts up an obviously dirty first line there is a strong temptation to carry on with the bawdiness. Unexpected filth is much funnier; years ago on PantsMC I put up the innocent first line:
"There was a young fellow from Streatham strettum", which was followed by
"Who chewed off his bollocks and ate 'em"
Aha, I thought, this is good.
The worst thing about too many of the current limericks is the lack of rhythm. I look at them and groan and think "Why bother?"
Da diddly diddly dum
(INJ, Rosie et al.) Agreeing with the aforementioned points of lax scansion and over-active glands; but I would add that limericks which start with an obvious hope that they'll end up coarsely can be funny when subsequent moves elegantly sidestep it.
However, everything in moderation...
sidestepping
I like the sidestepping thing. It seems particularly English and I find I use it a lot here - especially as I'm in the lavisicous hotbed of the Netherlands and sometimes pretending to be more archetypally (sp?) English than I actually am seems to be the only way to avoid lowering myself to their standards. Oh. That means I am very English after all, doesn't it?
(And that rumour about the Dutch being liberal and easy-going? Don't believe a word of it. Most of them are Calvinists. It's a more conservative and male-dominated business and academic environment than any I have encountered before.
*waves from Leipzig*
With regards to Nantucket
I do have to say that there is a funny and not at all dirty limerick. If you'll take a look here. (Yes, I know there is a misspelled word. It was posted more than two years ago.
I always want to rhyme bucket and Nantucket with Kirby Puckett.
Guess who's back...
In response to Simon's Mith, who asked for the tube map a while back, It will be posted when I can find that pesky link (I think it's down the back of the sofa somewhere). I am also now working at an anagram Europe map, which may be posted soon.
Jellied Eel
Does anybody eat that? One time I thought I saw somebody write "Jelly Diel." I don't know if they were ignorant or joking.
[KS] I've eaten it - nice taste, slightly odd texture. Eels used to be a very important part of people's diet in the South and East of England. Like oysters it's had a bit of an up and down ride in terms of prestige.
Eels are now endangered in the UK. There's a big tradition of eating them here in the Netherlands too ('paling'), especially smoked, but the flavour is a bit too strong for me. I suppose I'd eat them if I was absolutely starving and there was nothing else.
The Eastenders used to love their jellied eels and mash in the old days. I have eaten it down Petticoat Lane back in the '60s.
My dad loves jellied eels, still eats them. In fact, only last week on the Hairy Bikers show they had jellied eels.
I've had smoked eel, thinly sliced on canapés at a provincial art gallery (which I've just realised sounds a bit like the start of an Alan Bennett monologue). Very nice, IMHO. Also, I seem to remember smoked eel paté, but I can't remember when or where. I don't remember disliking it though.
Never tried 'em
Jellied Eels
They don't sound appetizing to me (of course, I don't/can't eat seafood - most of it, just the smell of it cooking, makes me sick to my stomach). I think the person who used "Jelly diel" thought it was some sort of pastry come to think of it.
Deels
Had eel for lunch today (in Bruges and in a virulent green sauce), partly prompted by this discussion. I enjoyed it. I also really enjoyed Bruges, which I was visiting for the first time - what a gorgeous town!
Kicking up my eels
Best eel I ever had was in Tokyo, many years ago now, at a dedicated unagi restaurant. Very good indeed. (Also, I fell instantly in love with my server, who looked like a young Susan Sarandon.)
*eels over*
I have not tried eel, as far as I know, but given my general dislike of eating animals aquatic, there is a good chance I would not like it. That said, it would very much depend on how it is done.
Eelsprit d'elverscalier
I should have said "Ead over eels" rather than "Kicking up my eels".
Jampanese Language
I am wondering if jellied eels would be "Unagi Zerī" in Japanese, or perhaps they use "Jam" and it'd be "Unagi Jamu." Just don't get in a jam confusing unagi and usagi. Two very different animals!
Prezzies
I didn't get any eels for my birthday, thankfully!
*wears 'igh 'eels*
So has anyone got snow yet?
A few flurries in Leeds yesterday - just cold (about -2) & sunny at the moment.
big fat raindrops though
[penelope] Not here, alas.
Roll on global warming!
Snow yesterday evening and thick snow this morning, but not enough to lie.
[Raak] Oh I dunno. I'll lie at the drop of a hat.
'igh 'eels
Come on pen, you are a girl, you can always wear high heels whether or not there is snow.
It's snowing in Edinburgh! And just in time, as they've just finished building Christmas!
[FGZ] Shedding it down now.
Sunday lunchtime in Zuid Holland
Still below zero, still sunny, still no snow...
Parky
(pen) Same as here. The weather newsgroup are absolutely out of their prams because it's cold and there's NO SNOW. I sometime wonder about the company I keep. There's at least another week of this Siberian NW Russian stuff.
We woke up to an inch or so of snow on Friday morning. A lot of it is still around. Our little back roads are like ice rinks :-(
We must have had about 6-8 inches since last night. The buses continue to run (albeit stopping short of some of the further-flung places). I look forward to one flake falling within the M25 later in the week and the end of the universe being declared by the media, again.
State of Emergency
(rab) Not a whole flake, shurely? We had a little here tonight, well within the noisy racetrack/car park, and I have had a level 16" (39 cm) in the back garden (14 Jan 1987). Your point is well made, though.
*sigh*
Minus 3, overcast, dry. Still no snow in Zuid Holland.
The walk to work was a bit treacherous, mostly cos the road in runs east-west with a hill to the south, so when it snows it doesn't melt. Poor motorist being dug out of a turning into it. Heavy dumpage as we speak.
Unseasonal snow
We even had snow here on the island which caused the usual chaos. I understand that the Isle of Donkies had it worst (being so much further north) and its airport remains closed again today because of frozen snow. We had to do without UK papers this weekend because of the weather. No crossword - bah!
Where are you, Softers? I forget - sorry
[Software] *taps the internet*
Where am I?
A familiar question, especially after a night on the tiles. In the deep south, Jersey.
Mass panic alert
There were 7 inches of Snow in Edinburgh. The capital city of Scotland went completely to shit today because of a little bit of snow. Schools closed, traffic halted, train service gone haywire. Oh, but on a happy note, the deadline for my Art and Design portfolio got moved back a day! Happy times!
There seems to be this curious attitude in Britain that everywhere else handles an unexpected dump of snow better. It's simply not true. Stevie might like to inform you about how badly they seem to handle it in the US and from experience, they don't handle it at all well in Russia. People are just generally less inclined to whine about it in other places, or you just don't hear about it in the UK. It's like me being asked by my family and friends how I handle the heat in Australia. The answer - same as the Aussies: I close the curtains and stay inside with the air-conditioning running full bore.
[FGZ] Respectfully, I beg to differ. This is the most snow I've seen in a major UK urban area, and people seem to be handling it pretty well as far as I can tell. Driving is extremely difficult. A colleague of mine who lives in a cul-de-sac in Newington said that someone drove into it by accident on Sunday, and it took them 45 minutes to get out again (with help from the local residents). Another was unable to drive her car into her garage and has had to abandon it in front of a "Do not park in front of this notice" notice at work, because the car parks on campus are inaccessible. The fact that buses are running at all - albeit sporadically and with some diversions - is pretty impressive in my opinion.

Closing schools seems like a ludicrous overreaction, but actually it's pretty sensible. On the one hand it reduces pressure on the buses and the roads in general. On the other there is also the chance (admittedly more so in rural areas) that conditions could worsen and the kids wouldn't be able to get home and would have to stay at school overnight. This happened at my old school (albeit after I left) and it sounded like a bloody nightmare for all concerned. And, of course, teachers don't always live in the catchment areas of the school (can't afford to if it's a good one) so they'd be short-staffed as well.

But, hey, ho, as long as it allows you to hand in something late without incurring a penalty, then that's ok.

Snow point in whining
[nfras] In the U.S., the degree of coping-with-winter is highly variable. As you'd expect, it depends on what the particular place is used to. I've lived in Michigan, where they handle (normal) snowfall easily and as a matter of course. The salt trucks are out, the plows are out, and the roads are generally cleared pretty easily and efficiently. I've also lived in Virginia, which was a very different story. And of course that makes sense -- a city in Virginia, which gets one major snowfall every couple of years, is not going to have an army of snowplows on hand to cope with that. And neither they should. Same goes for Edinburgh.
Leeds, which is where I'm working at the moment, has about 3cms of snow in the centre and maybe up to 10 in higher, outlying areas. I lived here in the 70s and 80s and this is well within the norms for the city of those days at least. There are a few individual cases of people having problems, but basically the city is coping fine with all public transport running as normal.
Turns out that the Embra experience depends on where you are in the city. I swung into town earlier and was surprised at how little snow there was. You need to head south beyond the railway line to see the real stuff. A colleague who lives a few hundred yards south of me showed me a picture of his house taken earlier today, with about a foot (or more) of snow on his wheelie bin. I guess the closer you get to the sea, the less snow there will be. Take a trip down to Blackford or the Braids if you can as it's really spectacular. A very impressive igloo has been built by the campus bus stop. I've got pictures which I'll share next time I'm near my USB cable.
What campus? I know there's a half finished igloo by the ECA, because it was the architecture students that built it.
KB
Here's an igloo, agnother igloo
Here's what it looks like in the Deep South if you can't get there.
Tierra Nevada del Sur
(rab) Too right. Ten inches level depth in my back garden. Nothing moves, especially me, except to measure the bloody stuff. I've no tea and I bet the Co-op hasn't got any either
[Rosie] Given your inordinate mastery of all things meteorological, why didn't you stock up?
(Phil) Your commendation is noted and appreciated but it should not be assumed that such sagacity extends to other areas of life. Actually, I didn't believe it would be anything like as bad because the Met Office has cried wolf on numerous occasions. In this case, they were right but a slight change in the wind direction would have meant the snow would have either landed somewhere else or hardly anywhere. As it turned out it was just right for this area to get a dumping. There's very little in the west of Surrey or north of the Thames. I won't be going out tonight; too many steep hills between here and the pub and I'm far too old for heroics.
tea-mergency
[Rosie] I have stock! There are three boxes of proper English tea in the cellar. I can post one over...
[Rosie] I have friends in Chaldon who will have plenty in store. Do you have a team of trained homing huskies?
(pen) The Co-op had oodles of their routine non-posh tea. All is well.
(INJ) This road, the quickest route, would probably be closed even to huskies.
The photo in the above link doesn't do justice to the steepness of the hill. To the left of the camera the road is essentially level and the part of the hill shown is about 1 in 5, steepening further down. Approaching it in a car the road seems to go over the edge of a cliff. I think the reason is due to the use of a fairly wide-angle lens, which always has this effect. Using a long lens you can make even a railway gradient look insurmountable.
royal tea
[Rosie] Thanks goodness. I love the Co-op, especially since they revamped themselves. Their 'Indian Prince' tea makes a wonderful, ordinary cuppa and is as good as anything Twinings makes.
'eels or, uh, 'ills
What's a hill? j/k . . . where I live is very flat, but I've seen much steeper!
steep hills
If you ride an adult trike down a really steep hill, you can go really fast.
(KS, G) England is surprisingly hilly, though mostly on a small scale. Wales and Scotland are seriously hilly, mountainous in places, and any level piece of land is occupied by a rugby or football pitch. The hill in the picture drops 250 ft in about 1/3 mile so your trike had better have good brakes.
(pen) Your Cop-op sounds a good deal classier than mine but I can walk there, which gets one off one's bum if nothing else.
A good cuppa after a walk
[Rosie] Splendid. There's nothing better after a walk to buy teabags - a good cuppa.
Midweekery
So. No news really. Grey and gloomy and only just below freezing here. We could do with a sparkling winter day, I reckon.
'Ot innit?
Above freezing overnight last night. A positively balmy 5° walking in to work. A little sheen of water over the still glassy ice on the pavements.
Scorchio!
5°C here too, and 3°C overnight - feels positively balmy. I didn't even wear gloves this morning! We didn't have as much snow as the UK, so our pavements are now mostly clear. The ditches are still filled with billowing drifts though.
Weather
Our weather is crazy. It's been from -1.6666666666666667C (29F) at the lowest on some days and today the high was around 21.666666666666668C (71F)!
I tried to guess the temperature in Celsius and my guess was a tiny bit high, but I ended up saying that I was a bit high.
She just might be . . . though I don't know on what. Helium, maybe? But most likely, sugar.
It seems that the snow has finally cleared! Shame, because it means there is not chance of my looming examination being postponed. I suppose I should do at least some revision, then!
Recurring nightmares
(KS) Not enough 6's. :-)
Court in the act
I was in court today, and I realized that (with the possible exception of a wedding I once attended), this was a first for me. Let me hasten to add that I was not there for any bad reason. It wasn't even to contest the $60 ticket I got for jaywalking last week.
Balls in court
I've been a number of times; and on each occasion I've been sent away because nothing was actually happening.
Serial offender
Two appearances in magistrates courts (Oxted 1978, Croydon 1987) for Driving with Undue Care and Attention. First one, guilty - quite a big fine, second one - Case Dismissed, cockup on the part of the then-new Crown Prosecution Service. My cousin, a solicitor now retired said that if you saw the shambles that is the back office of most police stations you'd wonder how they ever manage to prosecute anybody.
Young and Offensive
I have never been in court, though that may be likely to change if they ever find out who did poke Camilla with that stick at the student protests.
[Cross-posted in other places] Anybody want a single ticket to the recording of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, this Saturday (18th Dec) in Crawley? Cost price £9. email phil at philspub dot co dot uk. First come first served.
ISIHAC
[Phil] Damn it! That date is my sister's birthday. Sorry, old chap, but the £9 must remain in my wallet.
Numbers
666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666 . . . is that enough, [Rosie]?
I'm too sexy for my math
I found that last post very sixy.
I found it really annoying ;^)
Blind drunk. At 7.30pm. For shame. Bloody students.
Let me correct that
Blind Drunk. At 7.30am. For shame. Bloody lecturers.
Moderation in all things, dammit
Mellow. At 1230 am. For shame. Drink-driving laws.
(KagShuk) Well, not really, but a commendable effort. Try these: 142857 X 7, 25641 X 39, 1369863 X 73.
Rosie surely knows this, but it's fun to multiply 142857 by all sorts of numbers. For the geeks among us.
Court in the act
I've been in court lots of times. I was the court reporter in our local magistrates court for about a year. Wonderful job - like watching a whole day of soap operas. There was the woman fined for keeping Shetland ponies in her kitchen, the father fined for punching the upstart who copped a feel of his teenage daughter at her birthday party, the businessman who bought his way out of a driving ban by paying a huge fine, but wore Tweety-Pie socks under his sober business suit... all recorded in detail.
I haven't had a drink since a glass of red wine last Monday. It's about time... (it's a bad idea to drink when I'm cooking - things tend to go wrong - and I cook every night.)
Who does have a calculator on her computer
I could do those math problems by hand, but it'd take too long before I head off to bed, so the computer calculator is it.
142857x7=999999, 25641x39=999999, 1369863x73=99999999

A bunch of nines . . . how about a bunch of bananas?
Quiet
Hello? Anybody there?
Currently trundling through a landscape that looks like an infrared photograph. All the green stuff is completely white. No snow but the thickest frost I've ever seen.
shush - I'm hoovering
Currently blasting through the going-away-for-Christmas-but-bringing-back-friends-for-New-Year cleaning. Veeeerrrryyy slow thaw going on, but it's good to know that it's warm enough for the salt and grit on the roads to work.
Merry Christmas!
HC
Have a good one
[KS] I assume Niblet Woofles is the one in the middle, holding Valerie Bridget and Briana.
no people, two dogs
Santa in middle. White and tan dog (as reindeer) is Niblet. Black and tan dog (as Santa) is Woofles. Valerie, Bridget, and Briana are not in the picture.
I'm back
My absence was enforced by 'the weather'. A couple of weeks ago a small but nasty storm decided to travel across my little bit of territory. In the process of doing so it deposited about 75mm of rain and hailstorms the size of a florin in about half of an hour. Regrettably it also targeted me with lots of high voltage sparkly things. The aftermath was somewhat sobering, even though I was quite sober at the time. At two in the afternoon it became as dark as it was at eight that evening (I checked) and then IT happened. Casualties so far have all been computer related/connected. Computer: fried; hard drives: fried; back ups: fried; UPS: fried; modem: fried; router: fried; weather station: suspect (i.e. yet to be proven).
Oddly enough - and I'm assuming that the telephone line was the ingress for this devilish behaviour - the two telephone lines and the various devices attached survived unscathed. Even the ADSL filters exhibit normal behaviour. The circuit breaker in the 'fuse box' dropped out and, at least to date, no other damage seems to have been inflicted.
I am now using a new bright and shiny computer thingy (I hope that my insurance company will come to the party else I'll be skint).
Circumstance now dictates the use of Windows 7 (although I suppose I could install my original XP) which, despite all the media praise, I find rather odd. Is it possible that I am becoming a Luddite?
(Dujon) That sounds pretty dreadful and ironically it's the kind of weather that I like. If not the telephone line could it have been caused by an induced current from a nearby bolt of lightning. Was your house nearly struck, for instance? Some people I know disconnect everything computer-related if there's a storm about, something I regard as a bit chicken, like hiding under the table, but it might have worked. I don't know. It wouldn't have made any difference if the damage was caused by induced currents.
Meanwhile, we've had the coldest December for over a century but it's now slowly relenting and it felt positively balmy outside tonight with a temperature of 2°C and light rain. It should get a bit milder still in the next few days but the average will still be below 0°C, over 5° below what it should be. Good riddance to December, as ever. Gloomy, cold and miserable with the steaming dog-turd of Christmas as seasoning. Let's do a restart and have a new year.
Oddly, despite the temperature having risen 10°ree;C in the past week, it actually feels colder in my flat now than it did then. I suspect that a number of people in the other flats are away and we're not getting the benefit of their heating. Also ours was just left on a 'stop the pipes from freezing' setting while we were away, and I think it's taking some time to warm the walls back up. Beautiful old stone buildings - donchalove'em? And we're moving into a bigger one!
Grumbling and bumbling
[Rosie] Induced currents? I would say that that is quite probable. The circuit breaker dropping out also indicates either some imbalance in the power circuit or an outright over-current surge. I suspect both. The weather station seems to be defunct - in the sense that it's not reporting any wind data and will not 'talk' to the computer via its com port. The anemometer is, of course, well above the roof (it is 12 metres above ground level).
[rab] I understand your coolness. When Mrs Duj and I bought the property in which we now reside it had been unoccupied for three or four months. Unlike your own home ours is just a simple brick and timber construction and would not, I assume, have the same heat sink properties as a stone building. In our case the house can still be cool but simply living in the place makes it far more comfortable than it was when it was deserted.
Happy new year to all!
Happy New Year!!!
It's 1/1/11!!!
That's 1derful!
1-dering in, late as usual
Happy New Year, everyone. So far so good - friends over for dinner on NYE, followed by fireworks just outside the house - as did everyone else in the street. Together, they all made a fantastic display. And last night, an authentic Chinese meal, made by one of our lovely houseguests, who brought a box of cooking kit with her on the ferry over from England so she could cook for us. Five dishes... and all of it scrumptious. I cooked the rice - and made some strawberry ripple icecream with the last of last summer's strawberries from the freezer. Roll on spring...
erm... hullo?
Anyone home? Me again... first day back in the office for me this morning (it means leaving home before the sun is up, but I caught sunrise along the motorway - most spectacularly red for half a minute or so before the partial eclipse which made it all dark again) and apart from my PC forgetting to show me the server where all my work is stored, I think everything is exactly as I left it, almost three weeks ago. So... how was it for you?
yep, everything in my office is exactly as I left it last night :-)
S'allright for you
Not all of us can find a full-time job! (and I had to forego a week's leave in October because of a magazine deadline and add the days off onto my Xmas leave - which did rankle a bit as I was denied an autumn trip to England!)
It's still a Bank Holiday here!
No Uni until next week. Bloody lazy are us students. I decided to take a trip to London. Will be visiting a certain crescent, although will avoid the transport museum, as it is overpriced.
Ice Cream
Do strawberries have nipples? BTW I didn't know banks could go on holiday.
Is there something catching?
If there's something catching, I think I need to stay away from these forums and Gier's posts. They are quite crazy!
Isn't it lovely and warm today! 12.3 degrees already, and it's not even 11am :-)
coatless
I went out on an errand without a coat this morning. 10C here in Zuid Holland - balmy!
Sick
I have been knocked sideways by the 'flu. Lying in bed MCing on my mobile.p
[Software] Is a 'mobile p' the same as a gazunder?
Yes
Saw Spamalot tonight
Software, did you eat any Spam while sick?
Spam
[Giertrud] Never touch the nasty stuff. I saw Spamalot on Broadway in one of the pre-opening shows. Got real cheap tickets and had a great time!
Burns night tonight - hope you're all practising your 'Address to a Haggis'.
I forgot. I was shopping for shoes on Ebay. I haven't yet seen a haggis on sale in the Netherlands.
[Pen] It's OK, there's still time to go out and kill a sheep.
I tried vegetarian haggis last night, which was nicer than I feared. Might try the real thing next year.
Sheepwise
[INJ] They only keep'em as pets here. I can't actually buy lamb in our local supermarket. Fools...
[Pen] Easier to catch one then.
Weekending. Belated Christmas gift giving at sister-in-laws this evening.
Weekendingagain
Has no-one really had anything to say in the past week? Hmmph! Not much to report here and no real plans for the weekend - but a MAHOOSSIVE basket of ironing to do.
Ironing
That's what rugby matches on the TV are for.
What???
And make it more of a chore than it needs to be? I'd prefer a spaghetti western or WW2 film...
Ironing your hand
Nah, sport's more efficient to iron to. You can hear from the commentary whether it's a bit you really want to be watching and if you miss anything significant they'll almost certainly repeat it.
Ironing?
Ironing? What's that? In the states, it's the Super Bowl this weekend. Lots of handegg.
Super Bowl
Mmm . . . sounds like it could hold a lot of pretzels.
Sunnink to say
(pen) I'm building a telescope. It has a 5" lens that someone gave me but of course you have to mount it, as Andy Gray would say.
The weather is lovely here, now that it has stopped raining. For the moment.
summink to say
Im just going to say something so KagomeShuko's portrait of Father Christmas finally disappears off the top of the page.
This may involve gratuitous line breaks

or even spurious paragraph breaks
but who cares?
In other news, it's fair in Rotterdam this morning - sunny, blue skies, 8C, and the hellebore in the garden is about to bloom - for the first time in 2 years.

Hooray!
It worked!
Hellebore
Now you can go fishing by crushing the hellebore and throwing into a pool. I am unreliably informed this will 'stun' the fish.
A quick bit of market research. If you went into a cafe/bar at lunchtime for a panini, what filling would you want?
Paninos
If I went in just once then probably something in the Ham & Cheese line - if I went in regularly I'd want a selection. Last Saturday Mrs INJ and I shared a Mushroom and Gorgonzola and a Tuna Melt.
[Phil] Generally, anything containing no cheese and not full of glop. Sweet Chilli Chicken, Ham and Piccalilli and Smoked Mackerel and Salad are the things I've had recently at a cafe I often go to for lunch at the weekend. The Ham (when they have it) is proper ham, of course, not vacuum-packed water-filled slices of reconstituted mechanically recovered meat. The Piccalilli might also have been homemade, not poured from a jar of clonmult.
Toasted Salad?
[Raak] Salad in a panini? I assume that Phil's intending these to be served hot, whereas your suggestions sound like excellent sandwich fillings.
Lifficles
Marvellous Raak. I love the "BECCLES (pl. n.) The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemployed guerrilla dentist." It reminds me of two things about my younger sister. She had a throry that you only get those buttons in bacon when there's a Labour government. She also had a lot of difficulty one weekend evening in the pub (many years ago, of course) when a handsome young man told he he was an 'armydentist'. She tried to fasten the two words together, like 'taxidermist', and couldn't understand what the job was.
Re; panini ham'n'cheese is the default filling, but I'd also go for perhaps hot roast beef with wholegrain mustard, and the smoked mackerel sounds good too. Can you lift the lid afterwards to stuff some watercress in?
Some colleagues of mine had to go on a trip to Flums (a town somewhere in darkest Switzerland) recently. The name seemed horribly familiar for some reason, but I couldn't think why I might ever have heard of the place. Eventually I tracked it down to the Meaning of Liff. FLUMS: Women who only talk to each other at parties.
Panini
Interesting from the responses I've had so far, here and elsewhere, that no-one has suggested anything vaguely Italian (with the exception of funghi con gorgonzola).
[INJ] Now I think of it, the Smoked Mackerel one was an untoasted baguette, but the Sweet Chilli Chicken is a toasted panini, and includes some lettucey things and chopped gherkins.
UN-Italian panini
[Phil] I suspect it's because the Italians would never take cheap bread and squish it between hot plates to make it palatable, let alone consider it a delicacy. It's a rather recent lunch-comestible-vendor's invention.
[pen] Neither would my favorite Norwich café. Only the best ciabatta!
panino
[rab] thank you

[Phil] Brie, bacon and tomato is a personal fave when I'm feeling evil.
[pen] I used to get my lunchtime panino/i in a food court in Dublin, cooked by Italians. They had a choice of 4 each day, and were various combinations of parma ham, bresaola, aubergine, olives, mozzarella, basil, pesto, sundried tomato etc. Always delicious, and great with a large espresso.
in Dublin, cooked by Italians...
[Phil] If I was feeling mean, I'd point out that you may have just described immigrants selling a bastardised version of what Dubliners might consider foreign food. But I'm not. I'm just hungry. It's the last of the proper British pork chops tonight (ie more than 4mm thick), when the windy miller finally gets home.
Anything that doesn't involve potatoes and/or coleslaw counts as foreign food in Ireland :-)
The reason I asked in the first place is that I have a "Panini Grill" which does great toasted sandwiches, but I want to take advantage of the lunchtime panini market. My personal preference for fillings seems to be miles away from what other people want/expect, for which information I'm very grateful.
Market Research
[Phil] I'd suggest going round a few of your local coffee shops just before lunch time and see what they have most of on their shelves. You can be sure they've done the research. The only difference about your trade is that you could probably go a little dryer and saltier.
Mind you this definitely sounds like 'teaching your grandmother'.
[INJ] This assumes that supply = demand. There are at least two canteens that I've encountered that would run out of certain things very quickly on a daily basis and never increase their order of those things. You could even ask 'Do you have any more X?' and they would say 'No, they always sell out really quickly'...
Results of Panini Research
[Phil] Geez, Phil, are you running a pub or trying to make your eatery some sort of 'up-market' restaurant with fancy names for ordinary dishes? Surely a panino is just a bread roll into which, like a couple of bread slices, you can insert anything you damn well like? What's wrong with marketing a 'Salad Roll' or an 'Egg and Bacon Roll'?
[Dujon] In order: Yes and no; yes; and nothing. I just found the article interesting
I'm revamping my menu, with an eye on relaunching the food side of the business to create some lunchtime trade in the area. Everyone's feedback has been very useful. We already do sandwiches and toasted sandwiches, but I've found that people charge a bit more for something that doesn't come in traditional English white or brown bread; more importantly, people seem willing to pay a bit more, for something that doesn't really cost any extra to produce if it's in, say, ciabatta rather than two slices of fantastic, locally baked bread.
Rolling over
[Phil] Sorry if I sounded a bit abrupt.
I do understand your viewpoint and, if that's what your customers want and are prepared to pay for, then I wish you all the best. You wouldn't be a businessman if you didn't explore all avenues in order to satisfy your clients. I like your comment on locally baked bread. Around my neck of the woods we have a plethora of bread varieties marketed in bulk to those of us who see bread as a staple. It's probably a couple of decades ago now, but at that time I noticed a severe decline in the quality of bread on offer. After testing just about every 'brand' available I gave up on bread for a goodly time (they all tasted 'plasticy' to me). I'm a slow learner and not very observant at times, Phil, but then I realised that there is a small local bakery in our small local shopping area which is a mere 400 metres from Maison Dujon. My bread now comes exclusively from that wee shop.
I suppose I'm saying that fresh is good. Do you intend to bake your own stock - or can you coerce one of your local bakeries into doing so? Ullage is always a problem when it comes to perishables so I'd guess you'd have to build in a wastage factor when pricing each product.
Between them, Greggs and Tesco have all but killed the traditional baker in the UK, so loaves that actually taste of something are now 'premium products' with price tags to match. See, for example, this place that opened round the corner from the flat we just moved out of.
[Dujon] The other issue is price. The large, white tin loaves that I get from the bakery are £1.54, from which I can get about 5 sandwiches per loaf. I can buy frozen ciabatta for approx 30p each. I do like the thought of the local baker making my bread, but I'd need to be doing serious volumes for them to make something specially for me, I'd imagine. Maybe when I've a few minutes on monday I'll have a natter with them.
if only
Don't get me started on bread. There are two sorts of supermarket bread here - the 'baked elsewhere' kind, which is passable, and the 'baked-off in-store', which is good if you eat it within 20 minutes. After that, it doesn't even make good toast - it's way too dry. But we also have two bakers in the village - one of them is excellent, if you like a proper wholemeal loaf - which we do. Sadly our breadmachine is a little under-used, although I do a lot of other baking. If I can stand to have the kitchen full of smoke, home-made naan bread is a real treat.
bread.
I'm not bread's biggest fan. As a student, I find a loaf too big, as I'll buy it when I fancy toast, and then come back to it a few days later to find it completely unusable. I wish they would do mini mini loaves, with 6 slices each.
[FGZstar] If you're only using it for toast then freeze what you dont use - already sliced. Most toasters will toast it ok from frozen. When working away from home I make bread on Friday or Saturday and then slice whatever's left after the weekend and freeze it for Mrs INJ to use, a slice at a time, during the week.
I suppose, but it seems whenever I consider that, I suddenly will find myself wanting a bacon sandwich, and having no unfrozen bread.
You can toast from frozen in less time than it takes to grill bacon - but it would take a little longer to just thaw the bread, unless you use a microwave.
mmmmbacon
Freeze a loaf in pairs of slices? Then you can hammer them (in pairs) into the toaster slot and put it on the 'barely stiffened up' setting to *just* thaw it to the perfect state for wrapping around your bacon sandwich.
I freeze thinly sliced granary loaves from a good local baker, and I generally find I can 'peel off' individual slices whenever I need to, although I do sometimes need to use a knife to split them apart. Individual slices defrost in around 20-30 minutes if you just separate them and lay them out on a plate, and 30 seconds in a toaster does the trick too. The key part of my technique is using thin-sliced brown bread which lets me split slices off while the loaf is still frozen solid - but if you can find bread like that it does save the faff of splitting it into sections before freezing.
Strange bread rituals
I keep bread (from Waitrose, Sainsbury, or the baker up the road) in the fridge, and it stays as fresh as when it was bought. Why are people keepng it in the freezer?
Freezing
1. That way it keeps for weeks if necessary.
2. Not enough spare room in the fridge!
What INJ said. I/we usually use about 1/3 to 1/2 of a loaf while it's fresh, then after a couple of days freeze the rest and eat it gradually, interspersed with other varieties of bread. We seem to have a reasonable variety of good bread here, although it IS expensive. As long as the loaf wasn't squished, the slices snap apart fine, and can be toasted from frozen or a tiny zap in the microwave if you don't want to wait a few minutes for the slices to thaw naturally. I have a bread machine and make about a loaf a month or two, usually when it can be taken to family sunday lunch, because it does not keep as well as store bought and I find it very difficult to slice a loaf myself, so the slices are too large

In other news, I think our summer might be over already. not that we really had much of one, but still, it was warm for a couple of days there.

I buy a loaf of bread every day, more or less. The hardest problem with making it last is not eating it :-)
I freeze my bread which works fine for us. We buy a toast sliced wholemeal or granary bloomer or raised tin made by a local artisan baker. We mostly use it for toast although I sneak the odd sandwich. I find that this quality product, cost about £1.40, freezes much better than factory bread.
I buy bread about once a week. None of it comes wrapped in plastic. There's only me eating it, but I eat a lot of bread, so it does occupy quite a lot of space in the fridge. I also got a panini press a few months ago, which is excellent for a warm meal when I can't be bothered actually cooking.
All the king's horses...
Went on holiday in December. Had an accident. Broke my back. Spent 2 weeks in Swiss hospital. Came home. Had operation. Back at work now. 'S'life, innit?
[Kim] Ouch! Trust it will all heal completely.
Walls and falls
[Kim] That'll teach you, old egg. I do hope that you're not now wheelchair bound. If not then a couple of months and the surgeons' knives have served you extraordinarily well. Good luck.
[Kim] Yes, ouch. Poor you.
echte grijp
Aye, best wishes Kim. As an aside, I've just seen real flu for the first time - the windy miller is just starting to pick up a little after three days of eating nothing, drinking very little and being unable to move out of bed. He ate half a strawberry this afternoon. It's terrifying.
urgh.
[Kim] oh my. I hope you make a swift and full recovery.
[penelope] Yes, it is; I'm sure you're keeping a close eye on him, and I hope he recovers soon. I've only had it once, and that is more than enough. I lost about three weeks in a haze of coughing, vomiting and other unpleasantness. I had a lot in reserve so wasn't worried about not eating :o) .
Seasonal 'flu
[pen] My sympathies to the windy miller. I caught the 'flu for the first time in about 40 years and it completely floored me. I am just beginning to get back to normal now. I have had more days off work sick this year than in the previous 10. On the up side I have lost nearly a stone (6.5kg in netherlandsspeak) which has a beneficial effect on revitalizing my wardrobe!
Thanks all. Today might be the day he actually eats something other than chicken broth or yogurt. Luckily I only work part-time and I can spend some time at home. And the washing machine is now mended... a household of flu and having to wash things by hand for two weeks wasn't much fun.
Happy birthday, Chalky!
:-)
Belated
Hi Chalks, how goes it with you? Any sign of revitalizing your visit?
got a new mobile...
Hurrah! MC5 works on my mobile! Android rocks.
Though it seems the preview makes a full post impossible...it won't go after that...and the whoops button is missing...
aha
Got the previews back...still no whoops.
[pen] However, I advise that he does not eat any chicken yogurt.
Chicken... yoghurt?
Off-hand, I can't think of any circumstances where eating chicken yoghurt would be a good idea.
Mmmm.. Chicken...
I anticipate cooking chicken in yoghurt within the next 3 days. Nicer than just cream in a sort of supreme-ish using up roast chicken leftovers dish.
Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant
Rabbits
Down the pub tonight, Rosie?
Oooh, yeah. Grilled chicken (in cubes, on a wooden skewer) marinaded in spices, yogurt and lime juice, served with a satay sauce... I think that's one for when the windy miller has his appetite back.
(Softers) Of course - life goes on as normal. Not sure where to park the dragon. The former licensee, a young woman from New Romney, is the only purely English person I have met who can pronounce the Welsh "ll" properly. She'd lived in S Wales for a short time. All you need is to have heard it.
I think Uncle Korky has just won the Holiday Anagrams game.
(INJ) Yes, best yet provided it comes from his own head, though the previous one, from Softers, gave me the best guffaw.
Anagrams
Apols for multi-posting. Got carried away.
Downton Crescent
Sorry about the outage there (not that anyone will have noticed) - major system upgrade.
Me again
It's the end of the working week for me, and the beginning of Pig Week. Does anyone have plans for the weekend?
The windy miller is slowly getting back to form, and we will be going to the mill together tomorrow morning - for the first time in three weeks. Not sure what we'll do in the afternoon. The weekend will also include laundry and ironing. And possibly a bastardised version of Robert Carrier's Normandy pheasant, using Dutch cooking pears instead of apples.
Off up to Leeds for a friend's birthday party on Saturday and staying over. Unfortunately it's fancy dress, themed on 'Songs from the Shows' (she's keen on amateur operatics). So we're in 'South Pacific' mode, though Mrs INJ insists on wearing another skirt below the grass one and didn't seem at all impressed by my idea of a coconut shell bikini.
coconots
Well, they're not exactly short of food-miles are they? Perhaps Mrs INJ was thinking of something grown a bit more locally. Swedes, perhaps.
[INJ] I'm sure you'd look rather fetching in one.
[pen] Long weekend here, working part of it, mooching around catching up on sleep otherwise, hoorah! And I got a haircut today. Ever so much fun to be had.
Well, that was nice
Excellent time had by all - reunion with a lot of old (in both senses) walking friends. On the costume front - we looked pretty good, but were upstaged by Sally Bowles.
Meltdown
Anyone got shares in British Energy or EDF?
[pen] What happens in Pig Week?
Pig week
[Tuj] Ask Projoy. It's more a Facebook Thing...
say nothing, do nothing
It's actually a quote from The Specials. But what song, guys and gals?
specialist
Not a challenge these days with Google, pen.
Pieces of eight
Softers, you're mistaking this unlimited chat thingy with the eight words pages! As they said, the lunatics are taking over the asylum.
Asylum seeking
[pen] sorry, didn't realize I had limited it.
slow talking
Anyone got any news? I'm having a slow morning. I might go into the office this afternoon (magazine deadline coming up, profs to interview tomorrow and Monday and I ought to at least try to sound intelligent), am thinking about how to approach a new one-day-a-week role I've been given (which means the windy miller and I can afford to have a cleaner - hurrah!) and am looking forward to visiting Blighty over Easter - a long-overdue visit, postponed because of the windy miller's illness.
no news is good news
[penelope] Not really. The weather is pleasant here and a few weeks ago I planted a vege garden. Tonight is cool and clear, but I'm not away from the city, so I can't see many stars.
Why is it that no-one will believe that I have actually sprained my ankle on April Fool's Day. It's not a joke, and certainly no laughing matter.
Ouch!
I believe you. If it's a proper sprain, not just a bad twist or wrench, then it can be worse than breaking it, as tendon typically won't heal as well or as quickly as bone.
twenty bloody degrees
I object, I object, I object - it's 20C here this afternoon, yet only the 2nd April. That's just not right. My blood's not yet adjusted to warmer temperatures, and I'm all pink in the face.
Thermal responses
(pen) That's because you're a lady. Gentlemen, such as myself, merely perspire without the attendant rubicundity. Only horses sweat.
panic over
[Rosie] Back down to 13 degrees today. And the windy miller and I gambled on the 10% chance of no rain - so went to Antwerp to shop at the Sunday market - and won. And saw English morris dancers holding up very well in proper clogs against some nancy German upstarts who were all wearing white sneakers. Lightweights.
Hot, hot, hot
According to our local met office today is an April record on the rock of 20.7C. It certainly was nice strolling around at lunchtime.
It's warm but very windy here. We had to tape a bit of cardboard over a fireplace to prevent the cat from climbing up the chimney (as an interim measure before we get our hands on a fireguard). The way it's flexing in the wind really does bring home how silly an idea a fireplace is if you care about keeping any warm air in a room!
(Softers) 20.9°C in the grounds of Plas Huws, an approximately once-a-year event (for April). You wanna live somewhere warmer.
(rab) Can't fault your reasoning, even if you had a fire, but there is the trouser-singeing radiation.
27°C in Melbourne yesterday. About the same today. Parents fly out to Perth and thence back to Scotland tomorrow. Sister and family arrive on Tuesday. 2am arrival, bloody inconsiderate if you ask me.
Upstage
[Rosie] The late news reported a peak of 22.8C.
Got sunburn yesterday in London
(G III) As it's only early April you must have been exposing parts of the body on which the sun don't normally shine, and if you got away with it, good for you.
Train clocks (long)
I've no idea where to put this, so here'll do. Perusing the Evening Standard on my way over to my current temporary place of residence, I espied a full-page advertisement for a 'Flying Scotsman clock'. This appeared to be a combined exercise in kitsch, model railways and clockmaking, and all credit to the company concerned for coming up with the idea. For just five low payments of £24.99 this superb work could be yours, or mine, or someone else's.

Now, two things struck me about this edifice. The first thing was that it included a circular track upon which a model Flying Scotsman train would appear at hourly intervals to mark the passage of time. All well and good. But curiously, not only was the track circular, but the model locomotives and carriages that used it were themselves curiously (but clearly necessarily) banana-shaped. I've never seen this in any full-sized item of rolling stock, and I was consequently surprised that such a deviation from reality was considered acceptable in the model. I wondered to myself whether the model was OO-gauge, because I think I'd quite like to own a banana-shaped locomotive, even if it could only go round corners of a tightly-prescribed radius. Impractical even on the smallest layout, but unarguably entertaining. I also wondered whether these remarkable machines were available in right-handed variants too.

The second thing that struck me was that this clock-making company was making (or, at least, expects to make) enough profit from these devices to justify putting a full-page advertisement in a high-circulation newspaper. Now, assuming the cost to manufacture one of these clocks is in the region of 20–30 pounds, that still requires quite a lot of people willing to shell out for one before the cost of a full-page spread (a few grand, I suspect) justifies itself. So who are these train-, clock- and kitsch-loving individuals, and how many of them are out there running loose?? I think we should be told.

Whoops
Went to the shopping centre to buy some stuff for the BoRiS and came back with an iPhone. Had a look at one of those Android jobbies too but was more impressed with the iPhone than I anticipated.
Win!
Picked the National winner and Mrs Software had the second. Celebrations over the weekend.
Friday Friday Friday
Busy busy busy... if I work all day tomorrow from home, I should get through enough work to be able to catch the ferry to Blighty on Wednesday evening to go and have fish and chips with my mum.
Now where pen?
Please tell me...using this map. http://www.anagramtubemap.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/
No fair...I had to look of the doddery lady question's answer to post!
(Giertrud) Blighty is a very old affectionate slang term for Britain and has a sense of "home".
oh!
Then...all of that ... and more.
[Simons Mith] Never underestimate the propensity of the great unwashed to spend their money on tat. Take for example this wonderful Priness Diana Porcelain Baby Doll. Surely the work of a demented mind. Or perhaps you'd like to see a Wall Mounted Motorbike Cuckoo clock. This was advertised in my free monthly RACV magazine and gave me a chuckle. It makes me wonder what sort of operation is required to completely remove someone's sense of taste. But it must be cheap.
gopping
[nfras] *bokes*
Filing from Provence
[Pen] Did you also always read the warning sign as saying 'Thonk Boke'?
[INJ] erm... not that I can remember. Here we have 'Gordels om, ook in achterin'. So belt up.
BTW, what are you doing having a Fling in Provence? Does Mrs INJ know?
Shrinking violet
I am dieting. Just so you know. Day 2...
Not fade away
Have you bought the dress already?
[Softers] Part 1 is 'one-size-fits-all' and has been reserved at the Posh Frock Shop. (That's a completely unhelpful description - in fact it's a rather fabulous and very expensive Japanese jacket.) My mum is using her pensioner's bus pass to travel to buy it later this week. Part 2 will be made to measure.
it can't be just me, can it?
Isn't it a bit quiet around here? Are you all busy or what?
Writing my CV
'Tis a little on the quiet side this week.
Shhhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet.
Grading exams
F, F, F, F minus, F, F minus, F plus, F, F, F, F, F plus, F minusminus, F minus, F minus, F, F, F minus...
Showing off
(Phil) 105 what?
[CdM] Sounds like you might need to widen your scale a bit...

Yesterday I embarked on a 12 hour round trip to be asked three questions by a US visa official. The good news is that the visa is approved, so I don't have to return with any additional documentation which is a relief, as the train fare to London is not cheap.

Meanwhile we're just waiting for rab Jr to arrive. Some friends of ours were three months early which has put the wind up us...

[Rosie] 105 lies to help me get a job.
The land of the free...
[rab] what's the point of the Edinburgh consulate?
Pointiness
Emergency passports for US citizens. My wife needed one once, so the proximity was very handy.
(Phil) A purveyor of that which cheers? Best of luck, whatever you do. Out-of-work is not good for anyone and it's happened to me three times.
[Rosie, Phil] Out-of-work has been happening to me for 3 years now, and boy is it ever getting the better of my sanity.
Hidden textWibble

Maybe I should try the lying...
C (Lie) V
[Knobbers] Why not? I'm sure lots of people do.
Statement contrary to reality
I wouldn't. Particularly as anyone who's any good as a wordsmith can use the truth to say what they want without actually needing to lie.
it's on the noticeboard...
I feel fairly confident that no-one will make any objections to the notice of impending marriage between the windy miller and me, which for the next three weeks will be pinned on the noticeboard, almost behind the filing cabinet, in the inner porch of the back door of the British Consulate in Amsterdam. You have to speak through the intercom to the grumpy security guard at the front door, and again at the back door intercom to get in there, so I doubt you'll get in anyway. I took a friend with me to Amsterdam today, and she had to wait on the street until I complained to the consul officer, and he sent the guard out to bring her in.
I would protest in the strongest terms, if I had good reason, and/or could be bothered...so feel free, and go ahead!
Beware of the Leopard
[Pen] Congratulations. Break a leg, as I think they say in Belgium :-)
It should be banned
I trust it's written in English, translated from the Dutch via Estonian, Kurdish, American Sign Language and Xhosa. That sounds like a good excuse for a gin.
chin chin
[INJ] Indeed. Cheers. :o)
(pen) Never tried it - there aren't enough saints to choose from. Works for some and I hope it does for you.
the knot
Congrats is the usual thing. I tried it once, but the wheels fell off after a while, didn't stop me doing it again though, but that was for pension reasons.
[Softers] This is like getting my first car at the age of 46. Although, of course, I actually passed my driving test at 17 and bought my first car at 23. And somewhere halfway through that analogy, it stopped working. I'm marrying the windy miller for his money and for the free flour.
(pen) Not going Dutch, then. :-)
Free flour?
[pen] sounds like a grind...
Impending connubial arrangement
Congratulations. I think our intention to submit appeared on a scrolltext screensaver in the waiting room of the registry office.
New wardrobe
Thanks all. We may even start booking things this week, if the windy miller gets his finger out. In other news, there's a fairly important event at the university today, and I wanted to look a bit smarter than usual. I had to root through the wardrobe to find a suit that wasn't too big this morning... this diet business appears to be working.
[pen] congrats on the gradual "vanishing lady" trick.
Wham spam thank you mam
Looks like this site is currently the victim of an automated spam attack. I may have to temporarily disable posting at short notice while I introduce a countermeasure. Apologies if that's the case.
Mr Fixit?
Let's see if that's worked...
Seems to have
You will understand if I don't reveal precisely what I've done to stem the flow... but as at MCiOS you may be asked a simple question from time to time. Don't take offence if this happens to you.
http://xkcd.com/810/
Having seen the posts before they were wiped I thought they might be taking the first baby steps towards xkcd #810. A good few years to go yet, though.
Looks like I'm encookied already, eh?
Which reminds me...
... I should check that those who aren't can still gain entry if they are legitimate.
Good
That worked!
cookies?
No thanks - I'm on a diet. 7kg lost so far.
Whereas I appear to have put on a stone. I'm holding out a vague hope that it's just my not-very-accurate scales.
stoney ground
[SM] I can heartily recommend Slimming World. It's effective, and it's a very healthy way of eating (and supposed to educate you away from the way of eating that made you fat in the first place). I haven't felt as well as this for yonks. If you can't bear to go to a club meeting (too many echoes of 'The League of Gentlemen' and their sketches of the victimisation at the Fat Club meetings) then do it online, and join the Facebook Group that acts as an online meeting.
Bit of Dust
[penelope] Was it not Little Britain that did the Slimming Club, I though League of Gentlemen was the Dole office meetings.
Fat chance
[FGZa] I stand corrected. Fat, unemployed... the two go together in that kind of world. *ducks*
Why did you duck?
[FGZ*] Avoiding the sail of a windmill.
And the sale of a windmill, one would hope, to say nothing of a funeral. Don't try to be La Doña Quixote, pen.
uncapitalised
Luckily we don't own any windmills - most of them are owned by charitable foundations. There are only a few privately-owned and commerically run mills in NL, and usually they have to diversify to make ends meet - shops, tea rooms and cafes etc. However, there is a large consulation project sponsored by the province to come up with new ideas to make mills less reliant on public money, of which there is less and less available. By the way.
lack of capital
[pen] belt tightening is endemic. Thanks to the banks everybody is now poor while they continue dishing out obscene bonuses.
Something I've never seen explained is what happened to all the money. Bonuses are measured in millions, while the losses are measured in billions, so while one can object to the bonuses for other reasons, that isn't where the money went. It was lost by being lent for mortgages to people who never paid it back, and who spent it on buying houses, so presumably construction firms and property developers got the bulk of it. Who owns those? The banks?
rab jr
Our little boy came kicking and screaming into the world at 3.41 this morning. In honour of MC regular _tim_, we've called him Underscore. Have yet to be given the spec sheet, but from what I remember he's about average in size and weight. Mother and baby (and father, for that matter) all a bit shattered and overwhelmed by the experience, but doing well. Should you feel the need to goo, drop me an email and I'll send a pic once everyone's presentable.
Congratulations!
[Rab] Marvellous news! Best wishes to all involved. Now - get some sleep while you still can. I understand it can be in scarce supply.
(rab) Congratulations to all. I'm sure he'll pass his QA inspection. Investor in People really works, doesn't it?
(Raak) Good question. One answer could be that the money didn't exist in the first place, as your answer sort of implies.
_Rablet_
Congratulations. And thanks for an excuse to do some head-wetting.
rabbit
Congrats, rab! Treasure the early years, before he discovers DH loops!
Congratulations!
Er, that says it all, really.
Congratulation, rab! And belatedly to penelope. What is the world coming to? People getting married and popping sprogs and living happily ever after?
Well done, rab and Mrs rab. As pen says, get some sleep now. Lots. When the young one gets home you won't get much. Ever again. Seriously. But very worth it :)
That was an unfortunate typo. I'm sure rab and pen deserve more than one congratulation. Take as many as you like, I have a whole box here.
Well played rab and Mrs rab and a big welcome to Master _Underscore_
(Chalky) Hello. :-)
*waves from Eastern France* I'm still here, although I've forgotten almost all of my HTML skills, so expect really off moves from me for a while as I get my arm in.
[rab] A little late to the party, but congratulations!
[nights] How far east? I'm somewhere in the vicintiy of D*sn*yland this weekend, driving a van, for charity.
[Phil] About as far east as you can get - Strasbourg. What kind of a charity takes a van to D*sn*yland? Sounds like a charity I'd like.
deep freeze frustration.
Good morning campers. For two mornings running, I have pulled out of the freezer the less-than-successful vegetarian curry to defrost (unsuccessful because the broccoli in it didn't behave very well, not because it's vegetarian, and pulled out of the freezer because the tubs are unidentified, but we only find out when we get home from work. D'oh!), disappointing the windy miller, who gets very short-tempered when he's hungry. So I'm trying to get back into his good books with pork chops and mushrooms tonight. The curry has gone on the compost.
broccoli + freezer = difficult. I seem to remember that to freeze anything with broccoli in, you barely need to cook it at all, as it'll get all the cooking it needs when you reheat it.
Food wastage.
[Pen] That'll teach you. Just label it properly. Simples!
I always do, where 'always' has a value that has been known to exceed 50%.
[pen] Broccoli curry? Not sure I'd be keen on that. I discovered a great YouTube channel some months back that is full of great vegetarian Indian dishes. http://www.manjulaskitchen.com
As we say here in Oz, she's daggy, but the recipes are great.
Bloemkool curry
[nfras] As a brassica, it was OK when freshly cooked - as is cauliflower curry - in fact the two were mixed. But it doesn't like being frozen. I should have known better. Last night's pork chops were great though. And thanks for the curry link - will give it a whizz.
I miss having a freezer. These days I bulk cook on a Sunday when I have time, and eat it for Monday and Tuesday as well. Veggie chilli works really well that way, especially with a slug of bourbon.
[nights] I haven't had a microwave for over 3 months now, and don't miss it. Don't really use our freezer either, for that matter as we tend to cook and eat, and then eat until it's finished :)
[pen] Ahh, that's where you have me. Broccoli I love, could eat it every day and would probably try a broccoli curry (broccoli pakora is very nice). I understand that some people eat cauliflower in the same way that I understand that some people like other people to wee on them. If that floats your boat, fine, just don't expect me to participate. Mrs nfras tries to poison me every now and then by hiding it in mashed potato and hoping I won't notice. I do.
Incidentally, at the last mini-Melbourne Antipopilg we discussed the pronounciation of broccoli, specifically the last vowel sound. I use "brocco-lee" whereas I often hear the locals saying "brocco-lie".
[nfras] Where I live the last syllable is usually, but not universally, pronounced with the short 'i'. By that I mean that the 'li' bit of it agrees with 'bit' and 'it'.
I've often heard it pronounced as if it were this place. Goes with batt'ry, which one hears rather too often.
[Rosie] I've seen it written the same way. By greengrocers.
I can never spell it either. I have no excuses - it's my favourite vegetable also, and it's also spelt the same in French, so I'm pretty much stuck either way.
Spelling? Why not singing?
[nfras], [Dujon], [Rosie],[Raak], and [nights], why spell it when you can sing it? Do you know of this song?
Just remember. . .
Brits readily occupy cable cars on London's island. And you need this song, too.
Broc
"Brocco-lie" is a very common pronunciation in Leicester. And it drives me up the wall. That and "straight-the-way" instead of "straightaway". Arrgghh!
brits grits
It's Britons. People from that island are called Britons. Not Brits - that was a word invented by lazy tabloid journalists and it makes me cringe everytime I hear it.
(Kag) V good. I actually LOL'ed.
(pen) I think it's an American invention, not a tabloid one, though the latter (and many others) have picked it up. I'll use it when Americans start to regard it as cool to refer to themselves as Yanks.
lighten up, guv
[Rosie] Was it light when you posted that at 03.58 on the shortest night?
(pen) Probably, a bit. I've just put up new curtains to eliminate the horrible possibility of knowing. I'm a very naughty boy.
Ah, the days are getting longer...
[CdM] Ah yes, but are the nips getting bigger?
Britophile
[pen] Me, I like the abbreviation. :-)
Well, Midsummer went off without a hitch here, as it coincides with the annual Fête de la Musique. Lots of bands in the street, lots of alcohol consumed, lots of people absent at work the next day. Brilliant.
brile
[CdM] You're an economist. You like everything cut.
Has everyone had a nice weekend?
Something for the weekend
Saturday at a friend's 80th birthday party with excellent food and much music - impromptu and prepared - the majority of the guests were capable of sight-reading so we had a choir of about 40 in his (very large) garden.
Sunday at the Derbyshire County show - walking distance for us. A scorcher - drinks and ice-creams doing a roaring trade, but some pretty hot-looking sheep and bad-tempered cattle.
Friday at Hyde Park for great gig. Saturday was a wander around Windsor Castle (blagged a free ticket for daughter as she sang in the chapel there last year and didn't have time to do the tour). Sunday was a day of rest.
Tweaked a few pins and did a little repair work on the piano here. Perspired freely. Replaced lost fluid with a modest quantity of an available product, even at one in the morning. Was informed that the price difference between weak and strong beers as purchased by the pub is much greater than the difference in price at the bar. "Sensible" drinkers are subsidising piss-heads as it makes business sense.
(INJ) Hot-looking sheep? Please do not feed the Welsh jokes.
We managed a trip to the museum to meet some friends, and a pub lunch. Were very proud to have successfully left the house for an extended period. However, _ has been a bit unsettled since, so perhaps the experience left him in a state of shock.
His first decent excursion and you take him to a place full of dead things and then subject him to a pub? No wonder he's a bit grumpy. Poor _. ;)
Hot
Maximum temperature today (Monday) in the grounds of Maison Rosie was 30.7°C and pretty humid with it. Even more unusual was the previous night's minimum of 19.3°C, a record for June in nearly 30 years and nearly a record for any month. Bit sweaty during band rehearsal. Tuesday cooler and Wednesday cooler still, which is boring, but at least you feel less knackered,
And now, the weather
It depends on who you ask, but here in the European Capital of Traffic Jams that Don't Move At All, it was 36ishC yesterday, and 23 overnight. Sleep is but a distant memory, and I content myself with the fact that today I get to teach in an airconditioned conference room...
(nights) Paris, I presume.
[nights] (Maybe I already knew this, and I have forgotten.) What do you teach?
weather or not
[Rosie et al] We had this yesterday afternoon; it was quite spectacular.
[Rosie] Actually Strasbourg - like Paris, but smaller and much nicer.

[CdM] English as a Foreign Concept for business - so instead of "Brian is in the kitchen", it's "Mr Smith is in the conference room". And it's finally cooled down...
Antwarp
I was in Antwerp on Tuesday, here (very, very impressive building) where it was 36 or 37C. To my Former-flatmate-from-Hertfordshire-days-visiting-from-New-Zealand, the heat, after flying in from wintry Wellington, floored her. It almost floored me too. But the thunderstorms that night were spectacular. I've just put her on a train to Amsterdam (I can now drive round Rotterdam without getting lost, hurrah!), and today it's a very fresh and pleasant 20C.
[pen] Same here. Hoorah for continental microclimates!
Whoops, I think I pressed the wrong button and deleted everyone else. Forever alone.
where's the button for the restore point?
Back in the office after a week off. The nice thing is I nowhave the desk next to the window, so I have a view of the Erasmusbrug, the Willemsbrug, the old railway bridge AND the Unilever glass box among the skyscrapers of Rotterdam. Quaite naice.
Rooms with a view
Penelope, that reminds of my office of a few years (too many) ago. The fact that I was a significant contributor to the design layout of the place has nothing to do with this, of course. The department of the organisation in which I worked was situated on the 20th floor of a building which itself was positioned on a relatively high point of the City of Sydney. The windows rose from thigh height to the ceiling. The view took in the top of the Harbour Bridge, the buildings of the main CBD and then a panoramic sweep of Sydney Harbour (Port Jackson) all the way out to the harbour's heads. It really hurt, but I had to turn my back on it else I'd have done sweet nothing in the way of work.
Laundry
What do you lot do while doing laundry? I'm experimenting with brainstorming the week to come in a notebook while my smalls go around and around and around, and it works well.
Well, nights, I find that doing laundry is an exercise in concentration. Firstly it's getting the right temperature of the water in the copper. Then there's the right balance of water to cloth to consider. After that it's what, if any, domestic aids - such as soap - might be required. After those it becomes necessary to move the wooden dowel I use for agitation in such a manner as to effect the most efficient cleaning whirls and swirls. Whilst doing the latter my mind drifts to the mangling and then the efficacy of hanging the final product right-way-up or up-side-down. Laundry, nights, is an art and is not something that should be taken lightly. Anyway, your notebook will get wet.
[nights] I mostly sleep, having put the machine on to run overnight.
(Dujon) Do you have a coal fire under the copper or are you still using eucalyptus logs? Soda is very good, isn't it? I prefer wooden pegs, or pigs as they call them in NZ (and SA, it seems).
[Rosie] Gerroff! The wood of the eucalypti beneath the copper? That's reserved for the hot water heater and bushfires. Blimey, you Britons aren't half backward. Soda? Indeed; a tablespoon of bi-carb goes a long way when washing. Pegs/pigs/pugs around this wee bit of territory are not my responsibility but I do find that the plastic (non gypsy supplied) tend to snap all too often after being subjected to sunlight.
Being serious for a moment: Should I be required to buy a scuttleworth of coal for the fireplace that I don't have I have no idea as to where I might buy it.
Ash Google
[Dujon] That's what Google is for. Or, as it used to be called, the Yellow Pages. Or the small ads in the back of your local newspaper. Or ask at any house with a smoking chimney.
I am now virtually convinced that e-technology is ringing the death knell of common sense and 'nouse'
Trying to raise the pH
(Dujon) Bicarb's no good - you want proper soda, Na2CO3. Alkaline enough to dissolve aluminium. Try it in a saucepan with a bit of heat. It'll fizz nicely. Don't do it for too long or the pan will have a hole in its bottom which is all very well for us humans but not cooking vessels. As for coal, this can be obtained from any of Britain's many preserved steam railways and is of a quality high enough to be burned at the ferocious rate required in a locomotive firebox. Or you could get it direct from Poland as we don't have any mines left. About £80 a ton. With you on pegs. Use wooden dolly pegs; they last for ever.
(pen) esp. satnav. Recently someone was given several column-inches in the Grauniad Technology Section to describe how inadequate the device was because it had got her lost driving from Wolverhampton to Stoke and she nearly landed up in Shrewsbury. If that had happened to me I'd have kept very quiet about it, not wishing to appear a complete tosser, but you know what people are like these days. I won't say any more because I can get really sarky.
MapNav
Quite. I always like to have a lookie at a map before I set off, so at least I am informed about the route/heading/places en route. People who blindly trust a SatNav are eejuts.
Technology
When I taught engineering at night school I always told students that they had to know the answer before using a calculator. They used to laugh at this but I used to point out that you first had to estimate the decimal place otherwise the calculator answer could be orders of magnitude out. This principle applies to all technology, it is useful for accuracy but you need to know what you are doing before starting.
[penelope] Around my neck of the woods it would be hard to find a house with a chimney, never mind one with a proper coal burning hearth an 'ob and a couple of hunting dogs to keep one's feet warm. A few decades ago oil burners were all the rage but the cost of fuel seems to have put those foul things to rest - even the use of the common wood burning heaters seem to be well and truly on the decline. After your comment (mine was meant to be light hearted) I did look at Google and my local paper's classified advertisements. Unfortunately my common sense and nous came to naught. Should I ever need a scuttleworth of coal I shall be trawling the local railway lines for inadvertent sullage. :)
sullage
[Dujon] Apologies, I didn't mean my comment to sound so brusque, but where on earth do you live, you poor coal-less thing?!?! Next point: I don't think you mean 'sullage', unless you're burning cowpats and horse dung...
*chuckles*
No, penelope, I didn't. It was a slip of the brain or fingers. Please read the word as 'ullage'. On the coal question: Australia exports huge amounts of coal and uses various grades of coal in its power stations but I can quite honestly say that in my fifty-odd year sojourn in this country I have never seen coal being burned domestically. It sounds odd, but it's true, although it's impossible for me to say that it doesn't happen.
Sad about Hershey's practices
I am sad about Hershey's practices. I just found out that they source their cocoa from cacao farms that use slave labor. Children are sold to farmers, never paid, are beaten . . . Mars and Nestle are not great, either. However, they promised to stop these practices by 2020. Cadbury for you brits is fine, but Hershey's distributes it in the United States.
Chocolate is evil
[Kaggers] I suppose this is why it's important to check that Incidentally, we're Britons, not 'brits', pfffft. (And Norwegians, Australians, and residents of just about every country in between those two.)
*has made a move in every game*
Too much maybe?
Yeah.
O-Kaaaaaay

*slopes off*
seldom chalked
[Chalks] It's not as if you do it every day, or even every week. Welcome back, missus!
*waves from Bristol*
"white horses from Westbury"
[ChalkyPhilCdMIrach] Does anyone who contributed a line to the riddle glow-worm know what the answer was? I can only find one word that seems to satisfy all clues, are there others?
Hidden textI can only find 'nerd'.
[Knobbly] That was all I found. I'd been staring at line 1 wanting to make the answer "Néa" but couldn't conjure a line 2 which would squeeze two accented words in.
[Knobbly] So it would seem.
Hidden text"neon" would have been possible, prior to line 4
. A little apt, I suppose?
I didn't think of Néa when I posted Line 3 (I should have), so i was aiming for NERD at that point -- because, as Phil said, it seemed fitting.
Missed the riddle
I read the glow worms, but I missed the riddle. All this "line 1" talk is making me think poetry. I think you Britons *rolls eyes at self* might like this poem of mine: Bigfoot's Love Slave.
the KS poem
Gosh. I clicked. Powerful ending.
Making my name show on everything in the first box.
*foils Giertrud's diabolical plan*
T-11
Back in NL. I have been hen-partied. :o/
Girly-do
I do hope you maintained your cool and didn't wear any fairy wings, pen.
more girly goings-on...
[Softers] No way. We had a very sophisticated evening in a Greek restaurant, not even any plate-smashing. And today, my department at work threw a bash for me too - with a water-taxi down the Oude Maas to the Hotel New York in Rotterdam for afternoon tea, and back again. The weather cleared up spectacularly and it was wonderful. The poor old windy miller didn't get supper cooked for him tonight - I was still stuffed! (But I did cycle to the Chinese takeaway for him)
Weekendings
Saw the Staffordshire Hoard (or at least some of the finer pieces) on Saturday at Lichfield Cathedral - remarkable for its quality (gold filigree and cloisonné work, etc.). There's a moment in the video presentation where one of the experts says: "We get asked if this is the largest Anglo-Saxon treasure hoard ever found - it's the ONLY Anglo-Saxon treasure hoard ever found". Also went to Wightwick (pronounced 'wittik') Manor, possibly the best William Morris house in the country. Morris never saw it, but it was entirely furnished from Morris's shop in Oxford Street by the Mander family of Mander's Paints.
Also had a quick look at CdM's childhood home.
Hoardings
[INJ] I'd love to see that. The hoard, not CdM's childhood home - I doubt it even has a blue plaque, does it?
Remove that plaque
[Pen] Not any more, it hasn't.
Week's ages
A week since the last post - anyone got anything interesting to report? This morning, I'm going to take my camera down to the windy miller's (non-functioning) mill at Maasdam, and take photos. One of his apprentices spent four days creating decorations for it for our wedding; buntings, 6ft carved initials painted red, and carved intertwined wedding rings, all strung between the tips of the sails and floodlit. He took us out to see it the night before we got married. *beams*
Long weekend
As usual at this time of year, spent in a friend's cottage in the North York Moors. Almost didn't make it along the track on Friday after torrential rain. After that fine walking in forest and over the largest expanse of heather moorland in the world - all bright purple and with a glorious sweet scent. Cold and windy, mind you.
[INJ] Excellent. A week on Sat, I'm off to Wensleydale, to play in the Hardraw Scaur Brass Band Contest. Also spending a week in Swaledale for half-term. Can't wait to get back up to North Yorkshire :-)
Cheese please
*yearns for a proper bit of Wensleydale* God I miss English cheese.
Cracking cheese Grommit
Ah, yes. The clog stuff is a bit waxy. Great for using one of those cheese slicers that they love, though.
waxy rubber and no taste
Dutch cheese - always highly spoken of, but as far as I can make out (and I may have said this before elsewhere), there are only three varieties. However you can have them at any age you like. But until they get a couple of years old, there's no real taste, and no texture. And you can't grate it - ever. I think it's a bit arse-about-elbow to design the cheese to suit the cheese slicer, isn't it? And the cheese slicer/cheese scraper/cheese plane only works for about 40% of the truckle - it doesn't work once to get towards the edges of the cheese. Surprisingly inefficient for the Dutch. Rant over. Now bring me some proper cheese, please.
Pass the Dutch-cheese on the left-hand side
[pen] At least it's lower in fat than cheddar et al.
alert: not at all posh sense of taste and style
[pen] agreed about the slicer. Mine seem to go mad towards the edge; I'd thought it was just me.

My taste in cheese is not so sophisticated. *prepares for ostracism*. I don't like camembert or brie or veiny or runny or very hard very smelly cheese. I do like what is sold here as "Dutch smoked", whether it has anything to do with the Netherlands I'm not sure. Thinking about it, liking it might, in part, be due to growing up with Kraft processed cheddar (in the blue cardboard box, doesn't need refrigeration), which it does bear a passing resemblance to in texture. Not sure if that product ever got to the UK, i think it was a US thing that turned up here in the 40s or 50s. I haven't eaten the stuff for decades, I found a tin of it in Oman but wasn't game to actually eat more than a small wedge to confirm its identity.

Anyway, crumbly feta (not smooth, yuk) is good. A nice cottage cheese sometimes finds its way into my diet. Cheddar, well, what is sold here as cheddar, no idea if it is or not, is my main cheese, in a lower fat variety, not because I'm a low fat fanatic, but because this particular one just seems to be less greasy, especially when melted or grilled where it turns out beautifully, compared to some others.

And i will fight even my best friends and relations for haloumi. You have been warned :o)

Do me a haloumi
[flerdle] Just buy double the amount. I like mine grilled with a sprinkling of fresh chopped mint and freshly-ground black pepper.
Grilled is obligatory, but you can keep the mint.
Nooooo, it's mine, all mine, i tell you.
feeding frenzy
Damn you. Now I'm checking out sausages punt en el and slavering over my desk. The sausagepalace is only about 7km from the windy miller's office. I can see I'll have to make a visit. (And then probably hate them and end up making my own with the new KitchenAid mixer-with-meat-grinder-attachment-and-sausage-stuffer-thingamebob that is about to be purchased with the wedding present money.)
It pains me...
I love cheese. Almost all varieties (only one I can think of that I don't like is cottage cheese). I like hard, soft, creamy, waxy, crumbly, mild, mature, sharp, sweet, blue, goat's, ewe's, cow's, flavoured and so on. Love 'em all.
However, I am on a self-imposed low saturated fat diet, so the only cheese I eat now (other than for a very rare treat) is low-fat cream cheese. Then again, I loved smoking, but I don't do that any more either.
Wearing kilts on ankles is now fashionable
Went to my first pub games last night (Sept. 7 - USA/Central time) so, like um, what 2am Friday for Brits? I forget . . .
Brit Food
It was at a Celtic Pub. I also had Bangers and Mash there. Different.
Fashion advice
[KS] Kilts on ankles is fashionable? That would be one kilt per ankle I assume. That's a new one on me. On the other hand, kilts round ankles......
tartanankles
I'm trying to think of a kilt pun, but I'm failing.
[pen] It's for the best, the community frowns on puns here. Tell a bad one and you might get kilt.
[pen] I think Tuj may try to get a monopoly on the kilt puns, but I'll try to make sure he doesn't hog manay of them.
It's poor 'uns that we really frown upon.
You can make them more presentable by tartan them up.
Yes, kilts on ankles
It was from a game, basically "pin the tail on the donkey." It was "tape the kilt on the Scotsman, though." I ended up putting it on his ankle! I think a kilt on each ankle would be pretty cool - new fashion instead of bell bottoms!
PUNishment
As for puns, I have the BEST pun ever, but you have to know technical terms about the Christan fish and Swedish/Norwegian/ (thus, unfortunately sometimes) Lutheran cuisine.
Puns
I know an absolutely filthy pun in French. Only works in French though.
Does the pun involve a pullover, perchance?
[SM] Indeed :)
Puns and French
My pun does not involve a pullover and is in English. I might be able to read the French one, might not. I need to brush up on my French.
French puns
[Phil] So it's not the one about the vicar, the bicycle and the scouring powder?
Flappy
I don't know if a technical issue with my hosts has affected this site but if you have noticed any outages it's due to "severe flapping of HSRP on customer vlans". I thought I should pass that on.
HSRP?
Huge Sheets of Rubberised Paper.
Surely they shouldn't be sending data around in vans these days.
Highly Spiced Rice Pudding?
streaking by
[CdM] I read that as 'High Speed Rice Pudding'. The pudding-mistakes compound themselves because I read Rab's post thinking of a Dutch dessert called 'vla' (basically cold custard), and a Limburgse tart called 'vlai'. And I'm bloomin' hungry this morning.
[INJ] Do not underestimate the bandwidth of a transit van full of DAT tapes.
(Packet rate's lousy though.)
[Simons] Reminds me of A Fire Upon the Deep, where the protagonists get transport on a spaceship whose "cargo" is a one-third xor of a one-time pad.
Desserts
Oh, come on, I know y'all are just PUDDING on a show of your favorite puns!
I read "vla" as "via" and thought of a company called Viasat and thus, thought of pudding being sent through outer space.
[Kag] And what if I gave a tart response denying that claim? ...Oh, bugger.
Sticky end to pudding puns
Well that ended very messily, didn't it? Is anythinjg nice happening this weekend? I have to admit, I'm bored, bored, bored, this weekend and not even entertained by the thought that I can actually hang washing outside today. Roll on work on Monday.
slow weekend.
[pen] No work for me for quite a while, either domestic or paid; I'll be lucky to know what day it is. But anyway, people visiting, catching up on reading, and finishing decorating my crutches.
Spent Friday to Sunday in the South-West supporting 'The Prince's Trust Wild UK Challenge' sponsored by Capgemini. I took part last year but once was enough. So 3 days of camping, manning checkpoints, lugging gear around and clapping and cheering. A successful event - plenty of money raised and only 2 competitors hospitalised after coming off bikes (neither seriously injured).
[flerdle] Well, that sounds like a plan that takes into account the circumstances. I hope it mends like what it's supposed to.
Well, my weekend improved. Making something always improves my mood, so the construction of seven jars of marmalade before breakfast on Sunday, followed by a couple of hours out on the bikes with the windy miller in the glorious late-summer weather did wonders. Today, I'm not officially at work, so plan to splend some time writing up a review of the one-day course on writing for SEO (last Friday, Utrecht), an hour getting a bit further with writing up a report from the mini-conference/debate on private equity (last Thursday night, Amsterdam), and three hours ironing (my living room, in front of the TV, tonight.)
[pen] Quite right: who'd want a wrinkly living room?
To be filed under "Fire, baptisms thereof"
Well, I just did my first ever TV interview. Live. On national TV.
[CdM] Did it go well? Is there somewhere online one might be able to see it?
[flerdle] Please explain how you will be decorating your crutch? While you were in getting the leg fixed did you have some more intimate operations performed? Perhaps a spot of vagazzling? Oh, sorry, plural, my mistake, carry on. Coat!
[Phil] Thanks for asking. I guess it went OK, given that they have asked me back. On the other hand, I really don't want to become a pundit. On the other other hand, the pen-equivalent at my institution is constantly pushing me to do this sort of stuff. Can it be seen online? I certainly hope not. :-)
penequivalent
I don't do PR anymore! I'm just English Editor.... and I sneak in marketing advice at the same time.
cooking
I want to write a cookbook. Of course, all my measures are American. I wonder if I should find British equivalents and published a British edition, too.
What size are your cups?
[KS] If you want to publish in the UK (and this will probably also be the case for places like Australia), you'll certainly have to change the measurements, but you should also get someone to check over the names of ingredients and their availability as well as possible substitutes unless you want to confine your readership to people who live in the major English cities. For example, I live in a small city of about 250,000 people with all the major supermarket chains but the nearest source of buckwheat flour for me would be a 90 minutes round trip.
It's a source of constant irritation to me that any internet search for a recipe draws you to lists of ingredients in US imperial units, mostly because I can never remember what a cup is. One gotcha to be aware of is that US pints are smaller than UK pints (16floz instead of 20floz).

For ingredient substitutions my procedure is the following. First, look for something in your cupboard that you think tastes like the missing ingredient. If that fails, look for something that looks like the missing ingredient. If even that fails, look for something that sounds like the missing ingredient.

My gelignite-based desserts have made many a dinner party go with a bang. (Although they do have the advantage of being strictly vegetarian).

One size fits all
[KS] don't change the measurements! Just include imperial and metric along with US cup measurements... Lots of recipe books and websites do this. Then you only have to produce one version.
[INJ] Try your local windmill for buckwheat. Alternatively, I can bring you 5kg next Saturday. The buckwheat is free but it'll cost you merely the price of the ferry ticket.
buckwheat
[Pen] That's the distance to the watermill who make the flour I usually use for breadmaking. I can buy the normal white, wholemeal and malted grain from my local butchers, but more specialist stuff is only sold at the mill.
sorry for not looking in here earlier
I meant to add...
[INJ] Doesn't your mill supply any other shops? Poor you. I think even though I complain about the paucity of food here, (no big chunks of meat, for a start - there's nothing to roast in this bit of the Netherlands) I can actually get a lot of local produce, and just have to cut my culinary cloth accordingly.
*waves from Beijing*
[Pen] It might do, but I haven't found it yet.
This weekend, I am mostly...
making sandwiches to feed 50 new volunteers at three windmills on the island. I volunteer that I am a complete idiot.
Never volunteer
[pen] You must be using yards of Edam and spek.
[Softers] Metres. There's still several decimetres of it left in the fridge, dammit. Tasteless cheese. But no-one can say I'm not inburgering into my new life here.
MKS
[pen] as an engineer I seriously slipped up there.
Plea
I posted this on MCIOS as well: Anyone in the Morniverse know of a suitable family for an Italian language student in or near Hastings? She is a charming young lady mid 20s and she stayed with Mrs Software and I for a month this summer.
finding ingredients
[rab] finding ingredients that way sounds dangerous. Taste? I can see how that would work. However, looking alike, I think could get really confusing! My sister says I should give this link to show how that could be dangerous. Though, I'm not sure that you'd have a lot of these in your house. Now, I just need to find the metric equivalents to US - I'm sure they're online - just gotta get going in a bit. I'll bother y'all about ingredients over times, maybe ;) I don't think I'll be using too much different, though - baking powder, sugar, flour, salt, pepper, garlic powder, butter . . . things off the top of my head that I'll be using at times.
gelignite
I hope no one had too much of a fire in their belly...
Is it me?
Am I being over-sensitive, or has the tone of the Limerick Game taken a slide down a particularly sexist hill this week? Kagome Shuko provided a dreadful first line, so I *ahem* said something. And now I find the next line refers to 'a prude'. I don't think I'm being a prude, but I do like to see standards maintained, and I think there are plenty of alternatives first lines that don't include referring to women with tits like melons. That's not a limerick I would enjoy contributing to. And I'm sure some of the chaps here similarly would avoid contributing to limericks about everyman's small cocks, erectile dysfunction and disappointing conjugal performance - and all the other male foibles and deficiences. The MC community has never felt the need to scrape the bottom of this particular barrel before (although there are plenty of other barrels that everyone enjoys delving deep into), so why now?
By limerick standards our output is exceptionally clean. I think the occasional dive into the depths of depravity is necessary and indeed unavoidable. Citations:

[1.] The lim'rick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

[2.] Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw, describing the clean limerick as a periodic fad and object of magazine contests, rarely rising above mediocrity.

That said, I don't think an excess of filth, whether or not it's folklorically accurate, is particularly funny either. One, or, perhaps I should say 'the MC community' needs mostly clean stuff to throw the filth into sharper relief. So I think my conclusion is to bring on the odd willy joke, and not to start complaining until we've had several in succession.

[Pen] I was about to agree wholeheartedly (and indeed KS's first line was singularly juvenile), but I went to the game and in fact there aren't any crude limericks currently on the top page. So, although I agree with your sentiment, you may actually be overstating the issue. Actually, I think we went through a dip into the area where saucy starts bordering on filthy a couple of weeks ago and have climbed out again.
continuing
Maybe you're influenced by the output on MCiOS - but I wouldn't class any of the currently visible lot as more than saucy.
Addendum
Also, I don't actually think tits do like melons.
I'm with penelope in this instance. That line was pathetic, and completely out of keeping with the tone of the website.
More generally [SM] I believe your example #1 shows the type of limerick many of us prefer. The form may have its root in ribaldry, but there's a clear market for amusing rhymes and syllabic dexterity rather than innuendo.
*waves from Strasbourg* Well, I've emerged victorious from my part 1 exams - what are we all up to this weekend?
Weekend
I'll be drumming at this event on Saturday. Have spent this morning sanding down a batch of new bachi.
My son turns 16 tomorrow ("arrrghhh, not more fireworks, Dad!!!!"). Having family & friends round on Sunday to celebrate. Can't do tomorrow as it's the school open day.
Next Friday is more interesting, as I'll be playing The Last Post, alone, at Beaumont Leys Shopping Centre (which covers 7 acres (2.8ha), as I presume you've never been). Never played it in public before, so I'm somewhat "bricking it".
I'm 6 hours behind...
Happy Guy Fawkes Day/Night!
breaking radio silence
Making an official request for a new round of Clerihew poems. Always liked the metrical freedom they afforded me as a rookie MC'er.
Come rhyme with me
[Juxtapose] Given the glacial pace of game turnover here, I feel obliged to point you gently in the direction of a Clerihew game currently taking place over at Orange.
slow madness
You know you've been in a brace for too long when you reach for the velcro strap to haul your other (unbound, uninjured) leg around too.

Only two more days, i hope.

Fingers crossed for you, flerdle.
Fingers also crossed, flerdle.

Things are incredibly dangerous around here - a thick fog has enveloped the city and driving is an exciting adventure in remembering which is your exit as the signs have disappeared in the mist. Oh well.
run away
I'm free! FREE! Ahahahahahah!

Oh sh!t. I have no muscle now. *crumples*

Good news
[Flerdle] Just get started on going for walks to build it up. When you're no longer walking in a circle, you're better.
lol - genuinely :)
mijn ook. Ik lollt. Oooh... converting txt-speak into Dutch is fun!
[pen] share the joke.
I make that either:
'Me too, I lol'd' or
'My Orang Utan is slumped in his chair'
[Softers] the Dutch have a fairly regular set of verb endings, and have co-opted quite a few English words, which they adapt by tampering with the verb endings. So, you'll get something like 'Checken' - to check; Ik checkt, u checkd, etc. And 'Springen' - to jump. Although I was disappointed to learn that they hadn't bothered to co-opt 'trampolinen' - to jump on a trampoline. Ik trampolint would be very useful, I thought.
[INJ] Correct.
[pen] Of course my experience of Dutch predates txtpraat.
French has done the same thing, except worse. They don't just text LOL, and write G instead of j'ai, they say LOL in conversation. No sign of 'j'ai LOLé' for the moment, but it's only a matter of time until I see my nieces again.
it's all gone, gone, gone...
It's sop foggy here in Rotterdam this morning that from the window of my 6th floor office, I can see nothing but mist. But I can hear the pile-driver thud-thud-thudding away on the building site in the middle of campus.
Over to the weather where you are
Getting weathered on near Southampton. Walked from the hotel to the office (through woods) and in half an hour got a sharp shower, mist, a beautiful sunrise and mirky greyness. Plus a couple of roe deer - always a bonus.
Weather eye
It is bright and sunny here, 15C. :o)
Max 14.0°C here and sunny. The sky is still clear (8.15 pm) and it's only gone down to about 9° so no excuse not to get the telescope out, though I'm sure I can find one.
The snowheads on the weather group have gone very sulky and are reduced to looking at charts 16 days ahead which everyone (including the snowfreaks) knows should be labelled "For entertainment only". Ho ho, hee hee.
33°C and humid is forecast for the day. Currently very sultry (the weather, not me).
Not quite so warm a forecast for Dujon's place. About 30°C today. Tomorrow though is different. 36°C is the current guess. I do hope that the BoM is wrong.
Megathermality
(Dujon) Hmm, 36° is a bit much. It exceeds my record by the smallest possible amount. (10 Aug 03). Last December 36°F (2C) would have been a bonus. (Monthly mean 0.1°C, should be just over 5°).
Yes, when I moved down here I was somewhat unaccustomed to the heat. My first day of 42°C was somewhat of a revelation. When the wind blows it's a bit like living in a hairdryer. Still, it's a fairly dry heat in Melbourne, not like that nasty humid heat you get in the tropics.
[nfras] Indeed. I vividly remember 43+ degrees combined with gale force winds as something I had never encountered before. 43 degrees, been there done that. Gale force winds, likewise. The two together -- a completely new meteorological experience.
[CdM] Presumably you'd have a wind warming factor, so that 43 degrees in a wind feels as hot as 50?
Further megathermality
(Raak, CdM) It's the wet-bulb temperature that counts. This is the temperature of a wet or moist surface, lowered by evaporation of water or in this case sweat. I know that the hot blast from the interior is very dry and the wet-bulb could be as low as 20° if the humidity is about say 10%. So the stronger the wind the cooler you'll feel. My guess is that those conditions are far from intolerable. Was that actually the case?
Sweating
[Rosie] Yes and No. Remember that it's relative humidity that is normally quoted. Then there is the problem of how much an individual sweats and thus the effectiveness of its cooling. Perhaps this is why some people enjoy warm weather whilst others find it uncomfortable.
I cannot speak for others but in my case when it becomes really hot and the relative humidity is high (say, over 20%) my sweat pores open and drench me in my own perspiration but affords no relief.
dry good, wet bad
[Rosie] Yesterday I went for an experimental hop around town and it was fine. Very pleasant in fact. Then again I don't perspire much, and have a famously warped sense of temperature. The wind was strong enough to affect how easy it was for me in my somewhat delicate state to move about (out at Tulla it seems to have measured a constant 40-50km/h all day; in the city it was all over the place). Temp was 34°C with rel hum of 23% and "wet bulb depression" according to the BoM of 14 - so i suppose that made it a nice 20°C day.
[flerdle] Wet Bulb Depression? Sounds like what happens when you have a nurse take your temperature.
Staying out of the kitchen
(flerdle) Those figures all tie up according to my Tables of everything to do with meteorology. It seems to me that the climate of Melbourne is mostly rather bland and pleasant but every now and then someone leaves the oven door open and SE Australia gets scorched but that's probably preferable to the constant high humidity of somehwere near the equator even if the the temperature rarely rises above about 33°. Power to yer lallies, BTW. Kangaroo motion sounds hard work.
Antipodes
In just over a week Mrs Software and I will be landing in Melbourne. We plan a trip along the coast to Narooma to meet an old coleague and then Sydney where we fly to NZ for my daughter's wedding. so lets hope the weather is up to speed by then.
[Software] When do you arrive? And are you staying in Melbourne for any period of time? Because if so we should definitely organise a meeting in your honour. I think flerdle is game to walk just about anywhere now.
[Softers, CdM] I concur.
Will only be in Melbourne briefly as we are heading down the coast to Warrnambool. Sadly we have planned a tight schedule visiting relatives and friends so on this occasion it may not be possible. But as I now have a daughter down under this will not be my last trip!
NZ is not Down Under. It is Under And To The Right of Down Under, but close enough. :)
(nfras) Shurely it's even more Down Under than Australia from a UK point of view.
Uhhh
I am a straight female, just so y'all know.
Rectilinearity
(KagShu) No-one has suspected otherwise, though it must be said that many men, including this one, appreciate a modest degree of curvature.
Okay, I was just confused by some comments I saw earlier while I was MIA - writing for NaNoWriMo.
[KS] Ah, OK. I thought I had missed something. :)
I was pretty sure you were female but admit that sexual orientation hadn't crossed my mind.
Reminds me of an interesting (well it is to me) story. When I was in high school we had a mock exam in English. I was talking to one of the teachers afterwards about the two examples given in one question. Both were travel pieces, neither was attributed. My teacher explained that almost everyone had identified the writer of the first piece as a male and the second as a female. Neither piece had anything that clearly identified the gender of the author. The funny thing was the writer of the first piece was male, and the writer of the second was female, and they were both written by the same person. The journalist had undergone a sex change between writing the two articles (there was a gap of about 5 years between them) but somehow most people had picked up a difference in the way each article was written. Spooky!
[KS] Those of us who went to your book website some time ago had guessed at the gender (either that or your parents really didn't like you!). Sexual orientation has never been an issue in the morniverse as far as I can tell.
He, she or it
(KS) It's been obvious to me almost from the word go that you were female, just as I reckon it's equally obvious that I am not. Gay or straight, nobody's bothered here.
No way!
Rosie's a bloke? Well, stone me!
[Phil] we all wondered why you had been flirting with him for so long.
(INJ) Chalky sussed me out immediately, years ago. But like me he's pretty astute.
No way!
Rosie's astute? Well, stone me!
(nfras) Hmm, not quite astute enough to be absolutely certain that you got my joke. Grovelling apols if you did. This is getting so elliptical it's in danger of disappearing up its own latus rectum.
Rosie's a stoat? Blimey, my whole world is crumbling sound me!
Well, there you go Philippa, it just shows you shouldn't jump to conclusions.
What a silly old gal I am. "sound" should have read "around".
[Rosie] The joke was received and understood, as I hope mine was :)
I forget that I've known some of you lot for nearly 13 years, and what might appear plain as day to me is unfathomable to others. (THIRTEEN years???!!!)
Spanning-tree topology change
Those of you who noticed Friday evening's outage (I certainly didn't) will be reassured to know that it was "triggered by a spanning-tree topology change [creating] a broadcast storm". I presume this refers to platform alterations on the Circle Line prompting unladylike outbursts from Samantha.
(nfras) I may have underestimated your sense of humour. The thing is, I have actually met Chalky. (Shut up at the back)
(rab) A spanning-tree is clearly a reference to an old-style wooden railway sleeper. There's been some re-ballasting and realignment of the track and one of the permanent way gang, in defiance of regulations, has put it on Twitter.
[pen] only 13 years? Newbie! ;-)
[Rosie] My sense of humour is childish, absurdust and crude. Much like me really. I hope to meet a bunch of you when I am next back in the Old Country, depending on when that is. I tried to get to see Phil last time I was over but the god of the M6 is a cruel and jealous god and sent plagues of cones, jams and Eddie Stobart to confound me.
(nfras) Well, that's the M6 for you. The deity of the B269 is much more benign, and I live just off it.
But seriously, folks...
[pen] It is rather daunting isn't it. I've been doing this online since 1995. It's strange that the number of contributors has stayed fairly stable over the years, as if the world of MC can only sustain a certain number of people. I was looking at the Yorkives the other day, trying to find my first contribution. Brought back many memories, many of which I can't even remember.
[Phil] Didn't you know there's a one-in, one-out policy? Now, if you could start to think about making a move now please, ...
has met quite a few Morniversers . . .
... most of whom might discern the subtle difference between 'quite a lot of' [which I'd originally typed] and 'quite a few'.
[rab] There can't be a one-in, one-out policy. If the gestalt entity that is Uncle Korky/INJ/CdM/Dujon left, it would take time to invent new personae. Stevie would have a fit.
[rab] I think you've terrified everyone into silence, too afraid to stick their heads above the parapet and say anything in case anyone remembers how long they've been here, and 'isn't it time you made room for someone new?'.
I think I must be approaching my 10th anniversary, but I could be out by a couple of years either way.
Very little of the threatened snow in southern England - so no excuse for leaving early for my 4 hour drive home.
Threatened snow? Haven't seen/read/heard a forecast for two days. Must update myself.
Niviation
An inch of snow here this morning. It settled on the grass and even on the side roads for a time.
Just wind, rain and 2.5C here in Rotterdam. And final day in the office before January - hurrah!
Tauranga
I cane to NZ for my daughter's wedding equipped for sun and sand, however I need an umbrella and gumboots.
Florida
Pleasant and sunny down here in Florida. And I've been here about 14 years I think.
Clarification
Er, when I say "here" I don't mean Florida. I mean here.
Heisenberg
(CdM) Could you move around a bit, preferably completely at random and as fast as possible. Then we will know your location to a greater degree of accuracy than currently specified.
He already does
[Rosie] I don't think that works for molecules of CdM. On the other hand, the speed of a flerdle is highly dependent on slope, being relatively speedy now along a flat, perfectly horizontal surface and very much slower on any inclination or declination, whereas say a rock or a basketball shows very different behaviour.

Oh, and *waves from sunny Brisbane*

(flerdle) Are you saying that cadmium-containg alloys are beyond the laws of physics? Outrageous! Don't tell Uri Geller, whatever you do. May your mobility on inclined planes rapidly approach the norm.
talking of Uri Geller and planes...
Uri Geller sat three seats in front of me and my mother on a flight from Venice to the UK. I watched the rivets and joins of the wings and fuselage very carefully during the entire flight. (Stranegly enough, Jude Law sat in front of us on the flight out. He's much smaller than you think.)
Not the size you thought
I flew with the late lamented Phil Linott on the little 40-seater from Dublin to Leeds once. He was very tall - pushing 2m, I reckon.
Orthography
(pen) Stranegly sounds like a small village in Scotland. Hard luck. :-)
(INJ) Two miles? Yeah, that's big, too big, obviously.
[Rosie] I've just moved rapidly to Tennessee, if that helps. Drove up through an impressive storm, as well. Hearing the tornado sirens wailing as we were driving was a little unnerving.
very tropical
It is pouring rain this evening here (in Brisbane still) but, unusually, there is no lightning/thunder at all.
Vorticity
(CdM) I thought you were somewhere round there. I'm envious of your vigorous local convective activity. All we get here is mist, drizzle and general gloom. It's mild (10°) much to the disgust of the snowfreaks, but they're either weird or bonkers.
[Rosie] Have you seen the W Yorkshire lenticular cloud photos doing the rounds today?
Altocumulus lenticularis
(Phil) I certainly have - brilliant. We don't get 'em round here because the hills aren't high enough. You should see the ones they get in New Zealand and in the USA in the lee of The Rockies. More envy. :-(
Land of the long white cloud
[Rosie] Sadly I have seen many of them though it is midsummer here. Oh, well, now it is Christmas.
Land of extensive featureless stratus giving slight drizzle
(Softers) At least you can see the sides and ends.
Land of - what now?
What ends? We saw no ends on our Christmas eve and day. Very wet, windy, and uncomfortable.
singing
I saw the clouds on Christmas day, their old familiar shades of gray, the raindrops fell and I could tell the weather was so dreary, hey.
[KS, G] Where was that?
lenticular loomers
I saw something approaching lenticular cloudage a couple of days after Christmas, over the Lincolnshire wolds - a splendid sight, but I don't think it would have lenticulated fully. Now, back in, the Netherlands, it's drizzling heavily, grey, it's already getting dark, and sounds like a war zone out there as the village boys have been setting off their Belgian firecrackers all day, and the farm boys have been filling old milk churns with carbide bomblets and shooting the lids off across the fields. One way of seeing out the old year, I suppose. The windy miller and I are planning a quiet night in with a couple of slow-cooked lamb shanks and a bottle of wine.
Cloudage?? Oh, pen, pleeeze! Even the most anorakky weather nut doesn't talk like that. Did it give rainage, which went down the drainage? Or was it snowage, so your car needed towage? <rapper>

Good to hear that Dutch boys are allowed out, unsupervised, to be a little naughty.

clearage
It was a totally clear night here after a hot and almost completely cloud-free day - something of a rarity here. I did not bother going in to town for the fireworks, but watched a very decent display from the back yard. They seemed to be coming from the general direction of a local school and went on for a very long time. A licence is needed to even obtain fireworks here, let alone let them off, though some people manage it anyway.

Apparently the Arts Centre spire caught fire. Whoops.

Happy New Year to the collective mc5ers.
verbage
[Rosie] I'm not playing with words as a weather nut, I'm playing with words as a word nut. So there. *raspberry* *winkage*
BTW
HNY all.
Oh, go on then
[pen] Happy new year, but as a fellow word nut, I wonder why you don't abhor the current lazy vogue for "-age" creations, spewing spurious neologisms all over the place. *winkage continued*
Umbrage
(pen) Ah, "Raspberry". That was the whole family's nickname for my piano teacher when I was a child. Little could she have imagined that I would be blowing the said fruit down a 9-ft tube 30 years later. Real name Doris Austin (Miss). Always going on about my fingerage and phrasage. A bit fierce but good. Not one to indulge in winkage, as you can imagine.
usage
.. not even a spot of badinage?
Carthage
(Carthage?) I remember talking a load of -age badinage with a wordy friend some time around 1998, but don't recall seeing much of it since then. We also had a go at adding '-ster' on the end of evey word. That was fun too. But I don't like Dutch enough to have fun with the national habit of making a diminutive out of everything to informalise it; bier > biertje, jongen >jongetje, bord > bordtje. (Beer, lad and plate, respectivly.)
BTW Chalks, what are you doing up so early? (Or so late?)
Cobblers!
[pen] is Schoenlappertje a diminutive term for a cobbler? All I know is that it's a blummin' good non-sweet, blackcurrant beer.
I need to set fire to a Manchester suburb
....Wantage of Burnage. Boo-boom!
[Phil] Yus, it is. I took the 'tje' off it and ran it through Googletranslate, then the Brain of Google told me it was cobblers.
[pen] Smashing. If you see a bottle, I'd thoroughly recommend buying and drinking it.
Pilgrimage
Following suggestions at MC in Outerspace, would a Saturday in March be suitable for an MCPilg in London? Do see the discussion in the Pilgrim Game on Orange-age
Location
I live in Lake Charles, LA, USA.
ages and ages . . .
You know, like Ron on Kim Possible would say "snackage." I guess you could say on Friday I got my "concertage" on? Or is that my "nerdage" for the band Lost And Found?
Pilg
[KS] Yes, you'd probably have to make a full weekend of it. Still, I'm sure accommodation could be arranged.
Angels
KS] Yes, feel free to combine it with a longer visit to our fair shores.
Hang on Guys, I've just had this great idea! LAPilg?
(INJ) LA is an awful long way for Ms Shuko.
Geographically challenged
Ah, Yes. Still, it's not a bad idea.
[INJ] I think what you wanted to propose was NOPilg. I might sign up for that one!
Or maybe La Pilg (or should I say le pélérinage)
LAPilg
INJ's idea for a Pilg in Louisiana sounds great for Ms Shuko - a bit far for the rest of us though...
You know you're getting old when...
you're filling out a form online that requires your date of birth and when you click the drop-down box to bring up your year of birth you have to scroll down to find it.....
Kim, you're catching up. When I click on those things I get a depth reading. 6' is becoming uncomfortably close. :)
dob
I was filling in one that offered me the opportunity to say I was born in 1900!
I still love web forms that insist on postcodes for (republic of) Irish addresses. I know of a few parcels that have arrived at Irish houses addressed to, e.g. Mr M O'Donnell, 10 Ardan Bothar an Glas, Drogheda, Co Louth, Sorry Mr Postman, Amazon wouldn't let me order this unless I had a postcode.
[Phil] Even worse are forms that insist on only allowing US Zip Codes. Or only allowing US states, even though you have selected a country other than the US.
(nfras) I've never found that, and I've bought quite a bit of stuff from the USA (music, books). In fact the last order they sent twice. Anybody want a copy of the conductor score for The Chicken, arr. Kriss Berg?
postcode
Phil] I'm surprised that the phrase fitted in the postcode box!
[nfras] which reminds me that many Irish people I know have put 90210 in the postcode section :-)
[Merlyn] Even stupider are the web form designers that don't limit the number of characters.
Yes, if I am ever going to be in the UK, I'd let you know. Though, I don't know if I'll ever be. New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Alexandria, Metairie - all places in LA that are "close enough" for me. Shreveport and Monroe are a little far, but doable. Texas - Houston, Beaumont, Orange. Far, but doable - Seguin, New Braunfels, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Ft. Worth. . .
I've sometimes seen the addresses things that can be irritating toanybody. Yep, even sometimes to us in the US. I tell things that I don't live in the Ukraine. Silly forms. However, it's not usually those for me. It's those CAPTCHAs. I've had one in Greek, one we think was in something like Urdo or Arabic . . . some others with weird symbols.
Did you know there's a country with a name that states a fact about weather? ********************** Ukraine ************************* Get it? UK Rain E (rainy)
Compulsory fields
The field that irks me when compulsory is that of "County", for counties in the sense implied by the form ceased to exist in Scotland in the 70s, and Edinburgh is one of those places (like Manchester) where the city and county are much the same thing. Or, to put it another way, they lie within Unitary Authority Areas of the same name. So in the box I'm often reduced to writing "Scotland", when they let me get away with that, or "Midlothian" when they force a choice. Perhaps in the future I should paste in what I've written here...

I'm sure I've told the story before of how my credit card company managed to have my address as being in "Manchester, Lancashire, Lancashire". When I moved to Edinburgh, it changes to "Edinburgh, Midlothian, Lancashire"...

Pilgrimage
Pilgrimage in London proposed for 24th March. See discussion here: http://www.dunx.org/cgi-bin/forum?forum=game00074&displayStyle=york&tail=40#bottom
Please keep all discussion on the Orange site to avoid cross posting confusion
that doesn't mean...
You can all talk about other things here, you know! How was your week?
Hard - preparing documents for government officials :(
Next week, I start my new job though :)
New Jobber
[Phil] excellent!
My week started in England with shopping and the best fish and chips for lunch in Cleethorpes on Monday, sailed across the North Sea at night (failed to see the Northern Lights despite peering out from the deck at nearly midnight), busy time at work (wrote loads, organised a reception for the sustainability team at the business school). Now: finishing off more loads of writing, and trying to plan ahead.
Started a blog. It's under my Second Life identity, though, so no-one need try looking for it.
My week
Very very tough, for reasons that I'm not going to get into. But, on the bright side, not quite as tough as the week before.
[Raak] Is that a slog?
[Phil] Ha ha, yes, a SLog, hopefully not a slog! Just a few snaps of places in SL so far.
Travelogue
Back after a fortnight in Ethiopia, where Mrs INJ and I had wanted to go for years. A fascinating place – the oldest continuously Christian country in the world and the only African country never to be colonised (the Italians never subdued it in the 1930s). It has a fascinating culture with a history mixed with legend. This is the country of the Queen of Sheba, who was seduced by Solomon and whose son Menelik is said to have brought the Ark of the Covenant back from Israel. It is the country of the Axumite civilisation whose trade reached as far away as West Africa, Zanzibar, Sri Lanka and the Caucasus (as well as possibly supplying some of the ‘Nubian’ pharaohs) and who raised huge pillars over their tombs (the great stele in Axum is believed to be the tallest monolith ever made – although it probably fell and broke almost immediately after it had been erected). It is a country with a tradition of building churches and monasteries in the most inaccessible places; culminating in the rock-cut churches of Lalibela, created by cutting down into the solid rock from above – if they had been in Europe they would have been as well-known as Notre Dame.
It is intensely Christian for the most part; you have to have a reasonable knowledge of Christian tradition to get the most from the cultural aspects of the country. We went for Timkat – the major festival, which is at Epiphany in the Coptic/Julian calendar and celebrates both the adoration of the Magi and Christ’s baptism with mass-participation parades, street celebrations and young adult baptism. And yet it is tolerant of other faiths – there is a significant muslim minority (10%+) and a few Rastafarians and others and no obvious conflict.
It also has magnificent and varied scenery with mountains, lakes, rivers with spectacular waterfalls (the Tissisat falls on the Blue Nile share the meaning of their name with the local name for the Victoria Falls – Mosi oa Tunya, or ‘the smoke that thunders’) and vast empty depressions where rivers disappear into salt pans. The birdlife is still abundant and varied, although much of the larger wildlife is under threat from a large population with a tradition of hunting.
The downsides? Tourist infrastructure isn’t great – hotels have irregular water and electricity, roads are mostly poor (and occasionally atrocious), there is poverty, though no famine at the moment after a very good harvest – much earlier famine was caused by difficulties in distributing food rather than an absolute lack of it. The food is OK, especially if you like injira, the staple bread substitute, which bears a certain resemblance to cold wet flannel IMO.
Oh, and as a bonus, we went to a resort owned by Haile Gabreselassie and he was there, so we got to have a chat and a photo-opportunity.
If you aren’t too insistent on comfort, then go if you get the chance.
[INJ] Really interesting, thanks for sharing.
[Tuj]Indeed.
Meteorology
Solid steady snow in Derby now. Started with light and gentle about 3pm - now big wetter flakes - could be interesting if it keeps up overnight.
Had a choir concert last night - everyone got there fine, but I think nearly half the choir couldn't get home.
singing to stay cheerful
[Knobbers] Yikes.
[INJ] it's 'only' -4C here today. (I know Néa will better this statistic). Yesterday was the most startlingly clear, bright, cold chilly day I have seen since I was in Vermont in January 1988. I put some photos on my Facebook page, if you can see that. We had a couple of inches of powdery snow on Friday afternoon, but early yesterday morning it was -12C (according to the ladies in the bakery, who were in at 5am), rising to -10C by the time the windy miller and I headed out to his mill, and brilliantly sunny - one of those winter days when you get a big and welcome dose of sunlight. Random banks of fog drifting around the area added a thick and sparkling rime to the the lines of pollard willows and alders lining the dikes on our route there. The water container inside the mill was frozen - it was -8C in there. It was a truly spectacular weather day.
Super!
Apologies for writing like Jilly Cooper. I'm having the equivalent of a guilty McDonald's hamburger and reading her latest paperback at the moment.
[pen] yeah :-)
Cold
Just about to go and have a teleconference with our Ukrainian development team. They were reporting -30 last week, but then Kiev does have a bit of a heat island effect.
It's like a clean scene from Alien!
I do hope Raak is not on of those SLers who has to have an SL wife give SL birth! I saw a video of that and the baby came straigh out of the stomach . . . something very disturbing about that!
random
Was that really Raak? Perhaps he's having an out-of-body experience.
[!Raak] 'Ere, oo are you?
[pen] The whole point of SL is to have out-of-body experiences, I think. I suspect that SLRaak has somehow got free and is posting here along with RLRaak. But, in this virtual space (where we can't see the giveaway goatee) how will we be able to tell them apart?
Daaahn-da-dun-dun... Daaahn-da-dun-dun-DAAAAH
SL Raak isn't called Raak, of course. I think of her as an imaginary version of myself.
[Raak] So do I.
Hidden textJust typing that gave me the creeps
She has a male shape and skin as well, but rarely wears them.
Well, that brought the conversation to a standstill
Going out to bang a few drums shortly, then various errands and home. Snow and ice is still lying here and there but the roads are all clear.
clear roads
The roads are clear here too. It's bluddy cold though. I saw a small car (one of the 'moped cars' with a teeny engine that requires no proper driving licence) driving across the ice on the dog-leg shaped dead-end remnant of river called the Binnenmaas by the mill this morning. And a quad-bike doing power-slides and throwing up powdered snow on the ice too.
Ice and thickness
[Pen] This is a serious question as frozen rivers are a rarity where I live. How do the drivers of such vehicles (or even skaters and skiers for that matter) know that the ice is sufficient to carry their distributed weight? It sound rather fraught to me.
Sluggish
[Duj] The stretch of water I refer to *was* a river but became a lake in the 13th century when the intrepid Dutch diverted the flow of the Maas at this point into another channel to improve its navigability. It could be considered a small lake now, although it also acts as a reservoir for water pumped out of the polder on its way to the river proper. So, all these 'frozen rivers' are actually frozen lakes and canals, where water can stand still for long periods, allowing it to freeze. As to the thickness of the ice, the Dutch are very organised about this kind of thing. Every stretch of water, it seems, has an 'icemaster' who will measure the thickness and deem it fit for skating. The Dutch rarely do things independently; they love to do everything together, so there aren't a lot of daredevils going it alone in defying the icemaster. And they are aware of where the water is deep or not deep - falling through the ice into shallow water is acceptable, it seems. As for me, I discovered the other night that years and years of being warned not to go onto dangerous British ice have left me with a terror of walking on even the safest Dutch ice. That's another activity that the windy miller will have to do without me. :o/
In other news, I have been measured up for sunglasses at the opticians, and have bought a pair of summer shoes on Ebay - ones that I was dithering about in a high street shop last summer, but have found at one-third of the price on Ebay. Now, if the temperature would just lift above freezing for the first time in a fortnight...
It's that thing again
It just started snowing again. Arse.
A man of little trust
[Penelope] Thanks. From memory of my short time in England falling through the ice did my shoes and confidence little good. Perhaps I was a sook? I'm off now to my local bottle shop (off licence) to purchase my week's vittles. I might wobble a bit but I'm confident that I will not sink. ;)
6C
Blimey, it's hot.
Nearly a week has passed again. Apparently it's going to be scorchio on Thursday in the UK.
reduced to weather updates
[Phil] Indeed. If it carries on like this, I'll be getting the box of summer clothes out of the attic.
Is spring springing?
It has warmed up to double figures on the rock, hopefully no more hard frosts - which will encourage the bloody grass to grow.
Then you'll be moaning about mowing the stuff! :)
It's more than three years since I was responsible for a lawn. I'm not sure if I miss it or not. The house we currently live in is a bit weird and unfriendly as far as outside space is concerned. The gravelled space in the back yard is designed to be looked at rather than walked on or used; I think the person who designed it wouldn't make the same design again.
I'm sure I don't miss it. We finally took out our front lawn last year and did fun things involving boulders and native plants what have various qualities such as being interesting looking year round. I also dug out swathes of the back yard and planted a soil-improving winter crop and will be attempting some vegetable gardening this year. The purist in me wants to do it without spending as much on soil amendments as the veg would have cost in the market. The neighbor's massive fir tree dropping needles all over doesn't do wonders for the pH, so I will probably have to do something.
[Dan] Stevie probably has a chainsaw you can borrow.
Water, water everywhere
This comment will only interest those of us who live in the land of drought and flooding plains.
Warragamba dam, built to act as a reservoir for Sydney's drinking water rather than a flood mitigation device, is almost at a level that will trigger the spillways to do their job. To the best of my knowledge the last time this happened was in about 1998. Given that I don't live down stream of the dam I really shouldn't start singing 'Oh, happy days', but I will. :)
[Dujon] You could sell some to the SE of England.
[INJ] It'd make a change. The spillways have in fact been actuated and the additional water added to the Nepean/Hawkesbury river system has submerged bridges and brought about the expected flooding - minor at this stage.
water water water water water
[Dujon] Hoping you haven't been washed off your mountain up there. Looks dreadful.
Wobblies
[flerdle] No, m'dear, although the world did seem to move yesterday when I was nowhere near the kitchen table! I think though that it was but the garbage truck doing its rounds. ;)
That could have been a summer's day
Shorts and T-shirt today and mowing the lawn for the first time.
A slightly silly pondering
Over any given year where I live there must be thousands of birds fly over, take up temporary digs whilst migrating or live within a territory they have staked out in which my humble plot of land exists. Why do dead birds not litter my land and the local parks? Cockatoos are blessed with long lives whilst the smaller birds such as finches and wrens are supposed to be relatively short lived (they were when I used to breed them.) Over the last ten years I have seen two (2) deceased avians. One was a parrot in the local park and the other a juvenile butcher bird which I witnessed being attacked by other local birds.
Why is it so? Are there places scattered around the world where birds go to die? Is there an ornithologist in the house?
A couple of thoughts from an ameteur birder (but not an ornithologist, still less a twitcher). The ones flying over are pretty healthy, as are the ones you see staking out territories. Ill and infirm birds will tend to hide where predators can't see them, such as in thick undergrowth. Also dead birds don't tend to last long. Generally predator birds and rodents dispose of them quickly. They also decompose very quickly, bones and all, as the bones are mostly pretty fragile. Having said that, I reckon to find 3 or 4 dead birds a year in my ordinary suburban garden, and that doesn't count the drifts of feathers left when our local sparrowhawk has caught another little bird too intent on one of our feeders to keep a proper look out.
Salient points, INJ, I have no doubt. Ants too can do a very efficient demolition job on a carcass, but I doubt (in fact would reject) the idea that bird feathers are nutriment for scavengers. The reason for that attitude is that individual feathers, presumably resulting from natural 'moulting', are common and most certainly not a part of a drift of feathers produced by either direct attack or the efforts of scavengers. Who hasn't come across a particularly attractive feather from time to time and wondered what type of bird lost it?
[Dujon] Indeed, I'm sure that in your neck of the woods ants will be particularly efficient at cleaning up. I agree feathers are a bit different, but they must be destroyed fairly quickly if only because otherwise we'd be up to our necks in them. Also they are pretty much pure keratin which, despite its toughness, is none the less protein and so crying out to be recycled. I'm now into speculation, but I would suspect insects & bugs are likely to be the cleaning crew and will reprocess the feathers into chitin etc.
Surely there's someone in the morniverse who can add a bit more scientific rigour at this point.
All I know is...
Big fleas have little fleas,
Upon their backs to bite 'em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas,
and so, ad infinitum.
The_Siphonaptera
Back biting
[pen] My old dad used to recite that one to me..
Dad chat
[Softers] Mine too. Is it a dad thing?
When dads recite cute poems
To their children oh so clever
They then recite them to their own
And on and on for ever.
Ditties not deadies
[p,S & P] Please accept my heartfelt thanks for your most edifying contributions. ;)
We didn't rehearse it, honest
[Duj] Graag gedaan. I love the collective brain of this place.
My pleasure, ma'am
So do I, though it's often somewhat of the variety known as scatter.
Poems
Poems I learned when I was little were "Eletelephony," "Ooey Gooey," and "A Peanut Sat on a Rail Road Track." The one my Daddy really liked to recite was "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts."
My Silly Poem
I enjoy all this doggerel
As much as tasty custard
I like to read the silly words
That [Pen] and [Dujon] mustered.
More dad pomes ...
If all the world were apple pie
And all the sea were ink
And all the trees were bread and cheese
What would we have to drink?
Pedigree doggerel
I find it all so flattering
That you so like that poem
But this could take a battering
If scoured with fine-toothed comb.
How about...
how about a new game (to replace the terminally ill holiday anagrams) in which we can record the wonderful aphorisms passed on by our parents (whether in verse or prose). It might make a useful repository of knowledge. Or it might not.
One favourite from my dad is "If we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we had eggs."
Worth a try.
[Phil] +1 for that.
*approves*
It's a tough job
Just come back from a long weekend in Reims, tasting champagne, partly paid for by Mrs INJ's sister as a joint significant birthday present (late for her, early for me). Just got to arrange the party now!
How awful for you
[INJ] Think of the headaches and the expense...!!
Just got back from a weekend with my mum in England. I did the 'SH' of POSH with a forced upgrade on the ferry to England - I had to take an outside 5-berth cabin with double bed, bigger bathroom and satellite TV as a solo occupant instead of an inside cabin with 2 bunkbeds, no TV and cubicle bathroom. As I'd had a v. busy day at work with no time for lunch, I celebrated with steak, chips and a huge glass of red wine in the brasserie on board, and woke up just as we were sailing into the Humber past Spurn Point lighthouse. *sigh*
It's lovely to see that we still have stoics contributing to the site. 8-)
Death of Games wanted
I just tried to end the Holiday Anagrams game, but the usual didn't work.
Chain pulled
[Raak] I've put it out of its misery, which - thanks to the miracles of modern technology - I did from the comfort of the toilet, appropriatly enough.
Anaphorisms
[Phil] Go for it, while there's a slot.
this weekend I will be mostly
Cleaning cupboards, laundrifying (it's a good drying day) and cursing the internet radio as it keeps cutting out during the best bits.
is it just me?
I've just discovered (via AVMA) that there is a good chance that cfm is female. That led me to wonder to myself: why/how do I create mental images of MCers, based purely on their posts on this site (and others)? And why do I oh-so-frequently turn out to be wrong?
[Phil] Absoliutely - Uncle Korky had me fooled for a long time with the name and the false whiskers, and there aren't that many Philippas around either.
Also, if you follow CdM's 'helpful reference' on AVMA you'll see that the question of cfm's gender may not be resolved.
Gender bending
It is amazing how often first impressions can be wrong. I wonder if some in the Morniverse deliberately conceal their true gender/sex whichever applies?
[INJ] Indeed, hence my "good chance" comment. I don't actually make assumptions, as far as I'm aware, but I do have a "mind's eye" that seems to kick in subconsciously. Call it a woman's intuition if you will.
*smiles androgynously*
*thought irach and cfm were one and the same* :-)
Test
Things seem to be 'working' after an upgrade, but I got enough error messages I'm a bit uncertain. At least I remembered to not have the magic quotes thing turn itself back on.
Oh good.
Things indeed weren't 'working', but now they are. Apologies for any inconvenience etc.
apols not needed
[rab] Grateful thanks that the site is here at all - it's somewhere for me to come when I'm trying to avoid converting a 'stream of consciousness' from the Dean into something approaching an introduction for the latest issue of the alumni mag. Inspiration needed - and I'm sure I'll find it by writing limericks and doggerel.
7 days of silence
Well, that was an interesting couple of days. I may have found a house to move to, 5 miles from work, and a school for the kids to go to, which lies 80% of the way to work. It also happens to have had the 2nd best A-level results in the country for a state school last year. Lots of forms to fill in now :-(
Formation
[Phil] Jolly good. Here in NL, house prices are dropping (9% this year, apparently, but they are grossly over-priced) and the windy miller is getting busier and busier. Also, I get a permanent work contract this summer (after 3 years of one-year contracts) which makes it easier for us to get a mortgage. I may have a new house with a BATH and a DISHWASHER by the end of the year!
[pen] If only I could get a mortgage :( It's rental for us for a while yet.
What I did this weekend
In gratitude for all the tens of thousands of pounds worth of business I've put their way over the years, Marriott Hotels gave me a couple of tickets to the London Sevens Rugby at Twickenham on Sunday. I'd just like to say that the 15 minutes in which Fiji demolished the All-Blacks was the most exciting bit of rugby I've ever watched.
A picking of the collective mornibrain
Is anyone here particularly knowledgeable about Venice? MsCdM, MsCdM junior and I are going to a conference in Florence at the end of next month, and we are then planning also to visit Venice. The only places I have been in Italy are Rome and Turin, so I am interested in any recommendations -- if anyone has specific hotels they could recommend, that would be particularly useful. We're happy to pay for location and comfort (up to a point; we are certainly not looking for recommendations to 5 star hotels).
Travel advisor
I stopped at the Hotel Al Sole on the Fondamenta Minotta which is walking distance from the station. It was some years ago but it was good and relatively cheap (nothing is cheap in Venice). There was a family run restaurant a couple of doors away which was one of the best around we discovered having eaten elsewhere.
tripping
We stayed in a cheap place in San Polo, so no help with accommodation here :-) . We had little idea and didn't mind the adventure so turned up and booked a place at the visitor booth at the station. But I've generally found when planning trips that online accommodation sites are fine to give an idea of what's around, and perhaps get a good deal. Anywhere in Santa Croce, San Polo or San Marco will put you in the thick of things and be easily accessible from the station, especially if you travel light like I do. The train from Florence is very quick and regular, so no problem getting there and back, we stayed for two nights coming from our Florence base and that did not feel too short a time, but it would have been good to stay a little longer since we accidentally turned up during the Biennale! The city is very tiny and easy to get around on foot or by vaporetto.
splish splash
[pen] We just moved (see MCiOS for details) and I am pleased to report it has a good bath - but I'm sure it's easier to get your bath fix by going to the UK than visiting us :-) .
Wet feet
[Flerdle] Thanks for the offer. My nearest alternative is only 20 miles away, so I'm afraid your offer of hot water comes some way down the list at present. Who's to say wherther or not things will change?
[CdM] When my mum and I 'did' Venice, we stayed in Treviso - a pleasant enough town a couple of stops up the railway line, and travelled in to Venice by train (it's a spectacular approach across the water - and stepping out of the 1940s railway station into 16th century venice took our breath away). This gave us the advantage of not having to pay Venice prices for hotels, nor for dinner (if we chose not to). I'd echo Flerdle's advice - read the 'traveller reviews' on TripAdvisor or Expedia.
just 7 days...
So much has changed since last friday, not least of which is the weather in the UK, accompanied by about 3 inches of grass growth in my back garden. Also, it looks likely that I shall be taking on the rental of a house "down south" (roughly here) in about 2 weeks. Subject to rustling up a load of money ...
Sarf of the M4
[Phil] It's bloody lovely round there. I worked near Ramsbury for a while, and at Hopgrass Farm on the A4 just outside Hungerford for a bit too. (Used to be owned by Johnny Morris, apparently, and I didn't know at the time, but my dad was friends with his son at Art School in the late 50s-early 60s and stayed with the Morrises at Lambourn. JM also used to own The Pelican, the pub at Froxfield on the A4 (my favourite road ever). The windy miller & I stayed there a couple of years ago. They didn't seem too bothered by the rain coming through the roof.) Anyway - good luck with the move. I hope you like it down there as much as I did.
(Phil, pen) If you go shopping in Hungerford go in the morning because it's murder in the afternoon.
That's awful, Rosie. Literally. I was working in the Savernake Forest that day.
It is amazing how the word "Hungerford" is etched into our minds. We found it hard to consider any houses that were up for rent there, simply because it would remind us of that every single day. turns out that the house we're going for is technically in Little Hungerford, but that was subsumed into Hermitage as house-building filled in the gaps between villages.
Port Arthur was creepy enough already, and then...
How horrible.
I had not heard of that, probably because ten days earlier was Hoddle Street, which is just a short drive from here. He wiles away his time in prison working out ways to continue his career as a vexatious litigant, thereby popping up in the vews often enough to keep the wound from fully healing. Parole in 2014? Somehow I think not.
Vhat would be news, vbviously.
(Chalky) You strike me as an unlikely lumberjack. The admittedly awful joke was very current at the time, as these things are.
I cycled 100 miles yesterday. Wall-clock time 8h32, time in motion (what my bike computer records) 6h58m54. Free beer at the end, then collapsed in a heap.
(Raak) V good. How many times round the cathedral was that?
MmmmmMMMmmMMmmmMmmmmm.....free beer :-) Well done, sir!
[Rosie] Just once, via the north Norfolk coast. It's surprising how many hills there are in England's flat bits.
[Raak] The merest mention of N Norfolk always makes me think of Hunstanton and twitch inwardly - the most confusing and disturbing place I've ever been to.
[Raak] Well done! So you'll be out here for Around the Bay, then?
[Phil] Knowing "Sunny Hunny" well, I can see why you think it disturbing, but why confusing? [Raak] Well done! I am exhausted just thinking about it.
I've just discovered they had photo points set up, taking pictures of everyone. [flerdle] There's a small matter of a 10,000 mile ride to get there.
[Boolbar] I tend to know more or less which direction I am facing, which my family discovered recently when I stopped in mid-conversation, looked around the room and said "Sorry, I just couldn't work out which way was south for a moment". Hunstanton threw me, as I wasn't concentrating, but knew I was in Norfolk for two days. Therefore I got a bit startle by seeing the sun setting over the sea as I looked out from the shore. It took me a while to get my head round it, but it continued to freak me out for the rest of the day. And still does, to be honest.
East Is East
[Phil] Oh I see. Hunstanton drives you around the bend. :)
that'd be good training, then...
[Raak] If you start soon, you'd easily get here in time for next year's :-)
Peering in
Just received an email from the hosting people. My interpretation of their breathless gobbledygook is that you may discern slightly slower page loading than normal. Can't say I've noticed.
I saw a Google Car today, with the giant golfball of cameras pointing in all directions mounted on top. It drove right into the private parking area behind my house, and out again. So I might at some point see myself on Google Street View. I wonder how slickly automated their process is. Is the Car continuously uploading everything, which is then processed into Street View images in seconds?
Just had a look on Google Maps, and their current picture of the scene is from 2008. So, four years to revisit a tiny private entrance in a suburb of a small town. There must be some interesting estimate to be made from that of how many miles of road there are in the world, or how many Google Cars there are.
For the record, I really like Hunstanton - site of many a good family holiday!
Hunstanton hinders chat
[UK] that really did it, didn't it? More than a week with nowt to say. For the record, I really like Mablethorpe. Sunny here in Rotterdam today, but cool. Or cold.
Norfolk enchants
[pen] I know! What happened there?! Never been to Mablethorpe myself. If we're tipping the nod to UK holiday resorts, I'm going to endorse Barmouth, and see how long this kills the conversation for!
Dorset does it
Rather partial to a long weekend in Lyme Regis myself.
Just come back from a long weekend in Pembrokeshire. I'd put a few votes in for St David's/Whitesands.
Europie (pronounced YORRuhpee) beach on the Isle of Lewis gets a big vote from me - in fact, pretty much any beach on the Outer Hebrides.
Barmouth/Y Bermo
(Uncle K) Got sunburnt there as a small boy on holiday in 1947, so I was told but can't actually remember.
[Phil] I spent a week on Lewis/Harris one June. Glorious white sand beaches with not a soul in sight for miles and a temperature of about 10.
Gecko surprise
Yesterday, Sunday, my wife and I involved ourselves in a clean up of our garage and workshop. This sudden activity was a result of the local council announcing a 'collection' day, which involves the collection of all and any junk which won't fit into the normal bin - at no charge. It also brings out the scavengers among our population (the first five or six articles we took up to the road were gone within five minutes.)
That's the background. One of the later jobs was to move a dilapidated old cupboard/drawer combination from the workshop. My wife did the initial moving of the thing - it was surprisingly heavy for its size - from its position against the brick wall against which it stood. Me, being the lazy sod that I am, was 'having a rest' and a restorative dose of wine. She popped up into my quiet place and informed me that behind the cupboard was living a gecko. Naturally I did the reverse pop and ambled down the stairs to have a dekko. She was right but at the same time wrong. There were three leaf-tailed geckos clinging grimly to the brickwork. Supposedly these wee attractive reptiles are common in this neck of the woods but because of their superb camouflage are rarely noticed. The interesting part of this rather long post is that they were of three different colours. One was grey, one was a mid to dark green and the last a very dark chocolate colour. The latter could have been a very dark green; I'm sure that I'm a bit colour blind in the green/brown range when it comes to the darker shades, particularly in poor light.
I have done a bit of a search on the 'Net but cannot find anything that might indicate that geckos are like chameleons - in the sense of adapting their colouring to the background. Is there a herpetologist in the house?
Prochain station, Château d'Eau!
Here's the thing. Mlle nights and I were watching television a few nights ago, when she turned to me and said "You know, it's the oddest thing. When I was in Paris last week, there were a load of British people on the métro."

"Of course there were, dear, there's British people everywhere."

"Yes, but it was at Château d'Eau, they all seemed quite over excited, and there's nothing remotely interesting there. Do you think it had anything to do with that silly game you play with the Tube?"

And so, I'm back. How is everyone?
Those long, lonely nights
[nights] Good to see you! I am led to wonder: has anyone really gone on a Château d'Eau Pilg? And what do everyone else's significant others think/know of MCing?
Water Castles
I'll admit to getting off the rame at Château d'Eau and then getting on the next one, just in order to say I'd been there.
Mrs INJ just seems to go along with MCing with a 'well, it means he doesn't go out drinking or womanising'* resignation. However, when driving in France we do mark the water towers on a 0-4 stars scale.
*This is almost always true
Another silent week in MC5-land. What-ho, chaps!
No News = Good news?
Well, the weather is iffy but at least Murray is grinding on at Wimbledon. Is that worth mentioning?
Oh, I say, what a volleh!
(Softers) I suppose so but I prefer to watch the ladies. All that grumble and grunt.
G + G
You can get grunt from engines. And I am willing to grumble for a very small fee, without the bother of travelling to Wimbledon. BTW, My mum has gone to watch the tennis today. C'mon Tim! (oblig.)
Where does all the ruddy dust come from? is a depressing and never-ending task to keep shifting it from places where I don't want it to places where I don't care about it.
so soggy
We had a full sunny day here today. It's almost a shock to the system.
(pen) Where indeed? The answer, I fear is mostly our own bodies. And the Sahara.
(flerdle) Didn't know you were over here. :-)
*announces cake break*
Gelukkige Verjaardag Penelopij!
HBTY HBTY HBDP HBTY
Today is also Teddy Bears' Picnic Day. So two reasons to celebrate!
wringing out the teddy bears
[All] Cheers. I've got a massive craving for cake this week... huge wodges of it (and seconds), mostly chocolate, but the occasional coffee and walnut. I made scones last night (on my birthday) as it was all I had time for (and there was new jam), but I think the baking of a full-blown coffee and walnut cake is called for this weekend. Not sure if I have any cake tins anymore - I remember one lot went rusty and had to be binned, and I can't remember if I bought any more.
late as usual
[pen] Happy Yesterday!
proost!
Een beetje laat.
The cake is a lie.
real cake
It's reality here, Phil. This wet weekend has been officially declared the penelope cake festival extension. I've found my cake tins (thankfully not yet rusty) and will be turning the mixer all the way up to 11.
*originally typed 'cake tines' and wondered if there was a Freudian reason behind my thoughts of the large amount of cake that you'd need a tractor to shift.*
alter-ego
I've just been spooked to see someone using my real name to play a move in the limericks game - and had to check the time stamp to make sure it wasn't me. (It wasn't, unless I was sleep-surfing last night)
Are you sure?
[Pen] When I saw the name on the front screen I assumed it was you in a (very) late night unguarded moment.
(pen) You would never use such clunking scansion. Would you? Not all God's children got rhythm.
me again, given the lack of activity here
Can I have another go at the sodding O'Limp-dicks, or at least the media coverage thereof? Well, I'm going to any way. The first five pages of the Grauniad, supposedly a thinking person's paper, were devoted to the activities of a load over-muscled herberts and herbertines doing stupid boring things. The entirety of BBC1 output is devoted to this nonsense and the drains have overflowed into BBC2 to the extent that University Challenge, an antidote to this brain-numbing bollocks, seems to have been suspended, to be replaced by the displaced EastEnders, an everyday story of thickos buggering up their lives, and which seems to amuse the dimwits. Will we win any medals, gold, silver, bronze, cast iron, medium manganese steel, cupro-nickel, duralumin, bakelite, neoprene, mahogany? Please Do Not Ask This Question As A Hailstorm Of Profanity Often Gives Offence.
[Rosie] I'm one of the people that's delighted to have something worth watching on TV for a change. I'm also starting to enjoy sports I've not really watched before (basketball, volleyball etc) and am rather proud of the improvements the British contestants (I refuse to use the ghastly "Team GB" tag) have made, men's gymnastics being a prime example. I find most sport lacks any thrill these days, but I always really enjoy the Olympics.
I'd compete for a bakelite medal. In ambling, perhaps.
(Phil) But for the media overkill I, like most people I know, would be simply indifferent to the whole thing and just ignore it. But the entire front and subsequent eight pages of the Grauniad, of all papers, plus the Olympic supplement, are devoted to these activities. They are about to receive an abusive email and I imagine it won't be the only one, not by a long chalk. They won't print it, but they'll know what I think.
[Rosie] Ah, I avoid all that kind of annoyance by never buying a newspaper. The radio, the internet, and my lovely internet friends keep me pretty well informed. The last of those providing the most balanced view, especially when averaged out (my Facebook friends range from Radical Stalinist to White Van Man).
The above is untrue
I apologise for my over-generalisation. I do buy local newspapers when I'm on holiday, especially in France.
(Phil) I don't get a newspaper for news but more for views and opinions and to get ideas from. News, I find, is best from Radio 4. I might just about persuade myself to switch on the telly if there are things like floods or other mayhem.
Anyone else feel that the Film Club game may have run its course?
[UK] Fine with me to kill it.
Film Club
And me, for what it's worth, being no good at it.
Wow!
I've been enjoying the Olympics hugely (helped by the fact that I'm between assignments and so have more time). So I would like to record that I feel privileged to have watched arguably the greatest race in the history of athletics. The mens 800m had not only a world record, but also every athlete in the race recorded the fastest ever time for someone finishing in that position in a race. Quite astonishing. Move over Mr Bolt.
And also
In addition, every athlete recorded either a world record, a national record or a personal best.
Film Club
As much as I love Film Club, it has tailed off, and I think we've used virtually every available category over the past few years.

Could we perhaps replace it with a variant...? How about a round of Benefit Gigs, where we select an appropriate topic, and have to suggest the bands / artistes on the line-up?
...tumbleweed...
Well, this has obviously been another of my infamous conversation-killers! Alternatively, I don't recall seeing a game anywhere where players could showcase whole limericks - any interest in that?
(UK) Not a bad idea. Any subject. Discreet filth allowed. Off you go!
[Rosie] Thanks! At least one supported for Limerick Showcase - anyone care to kill Film Club? (Any last objections, speak now!)
I say kill the film club. But then I don't think I have voting rights any more, as I do tend to forget to pop by.

This time due to moving house - the last flat leaked, from the roof and the bathroom wall. I am fairly handy, as blokes go, but that was beyond my capabilities.

In other news, how's the weather? Strasbourg is melting. Literally melting. Every summer this happens, we get a huge heatwave and everyone panics. IBut I can't hear them from inside this fridge.
Alsatian quasi-megathermality
(nights) Strasbourg therefore consists of what we chemists call a "low-melting solid". May I be a little less than gobsmacked by your 32°C with low-moderate humidity given that it's been nearly 30°C here in the grounds of Plas Huws?
[Rosie] Oh very well. It just seems hotter because of people's reaction to news of the heatwave. I got text messages saying "Best of luck!" Luck with what? I don't understand.
Another sweaty one here today with some rather feeble apologetic thunder. I see Strasbourg is even hotter and more humid than yesterday. Er, bonne chance.
Lived up to expectations, certainly. But fortunately my client had the air con on. The good news is, it's finally raining! Hooray!
luckily we have our feet in the water here in NL
It was 34.5C on Saturday afternoon here in Zuid Holland; only 32C on Sunday afternoon, and a positively chilly 27C yesterday. No significant rain yet, dammit. We swam in the river on Sunday morning - it was the nicest open-water swim I've ever had.
boing
The first tentative whiffs of spring here today, and a very pleasant change it has been. After 7-10 years of drought, this has been a return to the olden-days of very wet winters. Do not like those. But today was lovely, at least the bits that I ventured outside in.

Mind you it will probably be washed away in more downpours next week, if the gales don't do the job first. *glum*

Differences
[flerdle] Perhaps at your place it's been a normal wet winter. My own castle has found a normal dry winter, although June and July were reasonably damp (75 & 15 mm respectively). So far August has produced not a drip nor a drop of precipitation - our last rain was on 24 July (1.8mm.) Even with the winds we have had the late wattles are flowering nicely making wonderful yellow splotches along the street scape. Spring is just around the corner . . . hurrah!
So what was the last good meal you had at a restaurant?
I'll have the...
A couple of weeks ago, on a very hot Friday evening when the back of the house (and therefore the kitchen) was too hot to be able to do any cooking, the windy miller and I went out to our favourite local restaurant, the Drie Linden. I had a bloody lovely chunk of grilled cod fillet in a mustard sauce. We sat outside on the back terrace, looking north over the fields of our island, Hoeksche Waard. There were half a dozen hares jumping around in the adjacent field, a kids' end-of-summer camp bonfire in the middle distance, and the flaming stacks and chimneys of the Shell Pernis Refinery at Europoort in the far distance. We're going there again tonight, because it's our first wedding anniversary today :oD
This evening, I will be mostly eating...
Last night I had the trout. It was even better than the cod, although I wish the chef had seasoned and buttered the inside of the fish - the part I was going to eat - rather than the skin, which is the part that I didn't eat.
A reasonable creme brulee afterwards - but unremarkable. And a good cup of coffee. The windy miller and I are going to look at a house for sale three doors away from this restaurant. If we buy it, we won't be able to afford to go and eat there any more.
Happy anniversary then, penelope!
[pen] Seconding what nights said, in memory of the passing of the old dating updates posted to the Morniverse =)
Ta v much
I've only just beginning to realise what I have missed out on during my singleton's life. We're going to a 45th anniversary party of some friends on Sunday - if the windy miller and I get to that anniverary, we'll be in our mid-90s.
Couples
[pen] You are forgetting that there is always the spectre of divorce. That can make a big dent in your finances, wreck your social circle, raid your pension and alienate some or all of your children and it may not be your fault. It is always nice to see couples that have made it, though.
spectres?
I don't believe in ghosts. Besides, our social circles are in two different countries, our finances are divisible, our pensions are separate, we don't have kids. And we don't intend to.
Choices
[pen] you have it covered, then. Nevertheless, separate finance and pensions are not immune from vindictive ex-wives (or husbands for that matter) when it gets to court.
T'weather
Bit chillier here today. Supposed to get warmer for the weekend, so that's OK
whither t'weather?
I saw that England had got noticeably cooler over the past couple of days. Temperatures are still holding up on this side of the Narrow Sea. 13C this morning, blustery, showers expected. Must.... buy... thermals....
Plans for t'weekend?
Daughter has first practice with new church choir tonight. Royal Berkshire County Show tomorrow :-)
between friday and monday, showers predicted, predictably.
I will scorekeep at a roller derby bout. The rest of the time I will be ill. *koff, gasp*

I am so sick of the rain here. Just go away.

Friday to Monday
I will sleep, do laundry, and cook a free-range French chicken that is taking up too much space in the freezer.
weekend
I will head down the allotment and see if I can dig over and compost another vegetable bed or two ready for the winter planting. And, weather permitting, cut the grass.
that reminds me
I might try planting some late purple sprouting broccoli. I've been told I may get a small crop in March if I do it now - and they won't be prone to the caterpillars that ate the whole bloody lot that I planted in June.
work tomorrow :(
I am very glad it was a drier weekend than I thought it would be. I managed to plant out some of the seedlings, now that it is warmer and the sun is actually getting to the vege patch (small back yard, high fences). The challenge will be keeping the slugs and snails at bay, I think, and stopping the blackbirds from ploughing up the entire bed.
Yorkshiremen
You're lucky. Last May, we scarified the lawn, hollow-tined it, fertilised it and overseeded it. Then we went for a three week holiday, expecting to find the grass knee deep when we got back. It didn't rain. We returned to find bare earth and a bevy of portly pigeons.
There's Something About West Berkshire
Is anyone else in England feeling like they're heading back towards drought? I think it's only rained twice in the last 3 weeks, since I fed my lawn. I'll probably get the sprinkler out tomorrow, it's getting so bad.
There's also something about north-east Surrey
(Phil) Only 4.7 mm rain this month (average 66). Good - don't have to cut the grass so often. I do nothing to encourage the growth of anything in my garden whatsoever. The only things I apply are shears, secateurs and ripsaws, having a hedge and a number of bushes. The idea of watering the grass is to me as absurd as leaving stuff out for the dear foxes. 2003 was a good summer, hot and dry and everything went straw-like with great cracks in the "lawn". Boo to gardening! My garden is actually quite tidy, believe it or not.
Labouring the point
No danger of drought after the wettest summer for ages. There was a "hosepipe" ban here until the middle of April. What is a hosepipe? Some people got ever so upset but what do they expect if they leave water out to dry on the grass.
[Rosie] I'm not so keen on the rest of the gardening malarkey, but I do like my stripy lawn, cut with a 50 year old mower.
Mom's memorial service
Went out and did stuff with friends today after mom's memorial service...she had died on the 15th...
[Giertrud] I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. Keep doing the stuff with friends. And keep coming here.
ty penelope
(Giertrude) As pen says, keep and value your friends but on the other hand don't pretend nothing has changed. You may find yourself more at home with one or two new people. My mother was widowed for 27 years and had to find a few new activities and friends which she did successfully. We can all do it and I wish you all strength.
to Giertrud
Sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. It is surprising how much we do either for, or because of, or by reference to our mothers and the loss of that key reference point throws our lives off balance for a while. You will recover that equilibrium over time. Until then, focus on what is necessary for you and for those you love, take comfort from the familiar (Glow-worms!) and try not to dwell on the loss.
10 days with no conversation! Time to break the ice.
Is it that cold where you are, Phil?
I feel like a sonnet
We haven't had a general poetry game for a while. At the moment there's just Wretchedly Difficult Poetry and Slightly Less Wretchedly Difficult Poetry, both at Orange, taking about a year per poem. Shall I compare us to a plate of eels?
[Software] It was, until this evening when we got our central heating fixed - oh frabjous day!
fish's off, dear
[Raak] Better that than a surfeit of lampreys.
You look like a sonnet
[Raak] Aren't Glo-worms and Limericks enough for you?
[Kim] Ok, but apart from the glow-worms and limericks...and haiku...
We could come up with a poetry form that combines all three ... the glimmeraiku ...
haikimerworm
[Jim] Now you're being ridiculous.
can't keep me away
[Cross-post] There is a somewhat late notice proposal for pilg-type goodness up at Orange, do drop in and say hello.
I have combined the glow-worm and haiku
The last three lines of this verse
Form a nice haiku
By using five-seven-five
As they always do

Also, it's instructional... :]
Season of . . .
Fog, actually. A rather warm and very wet one for the last 24 hours or so. Not terribly thick; I can see about 250 yd. It's low cloud, because places like Heathrow and Gatwick have only got a bit of mist. The air above the fog is even warmer and if it were to clear the temperature would shoot up to over 20°C in no time. It may happen tomorrow.
Fog
It didn't. It was just more fog, not terribly thick but we've now had 52 hours of it and everything is dripping. Previously invisible cobwebs are everywhere. Down at the pub, being 400 ft lower, they wonder what I'm on about. They always wonder what I'm on about.
Webs
I've noticed all the cobwebs as well. Usually I notice them when they wrap around my face and a spider clings to my nose. Now I can duck. Speaking of spiders, they have released these nearby.
Clouds of spiders
[Rosie] Still got your head in the clouds? At your age? Really! ;)
[Boolbar] That's a lovely photograph of surface tension at work. I wonder what the author of the article meant by "8cm long". Usually I describe spider size by the distance across the legs with a further comment about the paps to tip of the abdomen dimension if appropriate. Have you come across one yet?
Apparently there are about 1014 spiders on the earth which is about 20,000 for each and every one of us. That's quite a few decent meals. Well, meals.
[Dujon] Other sources suggest it is 8cm leg span. I haven't measured but I'm sure we get the odd house spider around that size.
[Rosie] 1014. Now that's what I call a world wide web!
[Boolbar] *groan*
Microthermality
Saturday was the coldest October day in 30 years' recording in the grounds of Plas Rhosi. Max temperature 6.0°C with a nice fresh northerly wind and showers. Delightful. Tonight the wind has died down and there's a brilliant night sky and frost. The grass, over the squelchy mud underneath, has that "crisper whisper" as you walk on it. Screen temperature -1.3°C.
Spring forward, fall back
How virtuous I felt this morning, getting up by BST, while gentlemen in England still abed took putting back the clocks as an excuse to stay in bed an hour longer, instead of an opportunity to fill an extra unforgiving hour with sixty minutes worth of noodling on the Internet.
[Rosie] It was certainly parky up on the Ridgeway at 8am. Car's thermometer said zero, but the wind in our faces certainly made it feel much colder. The visibility reminded me of Switzerland though - could see all the way to the horizon :-)
Ridgeway? That's something the cloggies can only dream of
Here, even the motorway run-up to a big bridge slows 'em down. Dutch drivers have no idea what to do in order to climb a hill without causing a traffic jam.
(pen) Are there any words in Dutch for a hill, mountain, slope etc? Probably about one-tenth of the number in Welsh.
Hilly
I parked nose-in on my little parking pull-in last night, which is on something like a 12% slope, leaving the front of the car rather higher than the rear. I had to free-wheel back out and get on the level before the engine would start. Not doing that again with a low petrol tank.
it's all the same to them
[Rosie] Heuvel for hill, helling for slope, and berg for mountain. No mention of bluffs, cliffs, butte, downs. (Although duine for dune). My knowledge of Dutch is not encyclopaedic, but they very rarely get mentioned. Here, the kids go toboganning down the edges of the dijks (they don't all end in water - some have fields/houses/roads on both sides); maximum run = about 15 metres max.
(pen) Houses on both sides? I thought the purpose of a dyke/dijk was to hold back water in emergency so isn't that a bit like building houses on the beach? Have I got his right? As to hilly words, I imagine Afrikaans must have a few because South Africa is pretty steep at the edges.
(Phil) Must have been very low. But how did you get up there in the first place?
[Rosie] It's just a little pull-in, about 50% longer than my car, but is rather a steep slope up to the garage (which I don't use...for the car). I think that's only about the 5th time I've gone in nose first in the 5 months I've been parking there. It might have been coincidence that the engine wouldn't fire until I was on the level, as the tank still has enough about 3 gallons in (approx)
Anyone in London on saturday?
*Cross-post alert*
Just a nudge that there is a get-together this Saturday afternoon in London. Details on the Pilgrim page at Orange
sacrificial houses
[Rosie] There's a concept of sacrificial land - the water is going to come up 'so far' but no further. I think the same is thought of some of the houses. Besides, the flood would only reach the bottom half of your house where the washing machine, bikes and canoes are kept. The living room and kitchen are usually at the same level as the road running along the top of the dyke.
The Cruel Sea
(pen) Ah! The Dutch must be a stoic lot. I'm happy on my hill but ironically a few million years ago it was a beach, which accounts for the deposits of rounded pebbles a couple of miles away, the so-called Blackheath Beds.
back at my desk
There's thick and dull fog obscuring the whole of Rotterdam from my 6th floor office window this morning. Yet as I drove off the ferry which arrived in Rotterdam from Blighty this morning, I was almost blinded by the sun shining into the off-ramp. Oh well. Never mind. The eggs, sausage and bacon on board this morning was very nice.
coincidental food
No fog here, but I do have egg, sausage and bacon on some bread, which I find tastier than a board.
Calling a plate a plate by any other name would taste as tasty
Funnily enough, 'plate' in Dutch is 'bord'.
egging on
Oh come on everyone... don't make the whole front page look like it's 'me, me, me'. Say something!
something (oblig.)
semi thong (anag.)
sunnink, quelquechose, rhywbeth. sorry no Dutch.
Summink in Dutch
iets
qqch in french textspeak.
I made a collection of Christmassy snowglobes over the last week of evenings. But they're virtual ones in an online world, so probably none of you can see them.
No snow
[Raak] I don't believe you.

Snow falls endlessly
On the night before Christmas
In the toy village.

In the snowy fort
No soldiers patrol the walls
Are they all on leave?

Snow on online pines
If no-one logs in to see
Did the snowflake fall?
Haikusnowsterisers
[Raak] They are lovely. Did you get much appreciation for them - virtual or otherwise - in your online world?
[pen] They went down quite well when I presented them at a Show & Tell event last Sunday. There's a couple of these every week in SL, where builders show off the new things they've built.

Presents! All for me?
Take as many as you like
They're copiable.
stunned into silence
I had no idea that sort of stuff went on. Anyway... Any other news from anyone? Or do I have to tell you about my weekend again?
nothing in particular
This year I will not be making plum jam - thank goodness. Moving to a new (old) house has meant there are no fruit trees, other than the ubiquitous lemon, but the vege plot is much better here, even if it is tiny, about 1.5m x 2m. The soil probably has some deficiencies, but without time to check, I simply dug it over, planted a bunch of things and hoped for the best. During winter it gets almost no sun, but the late spring and summer are very good, at least so far. Anyway, I am growing a strawberry (one tiny plant), zucchinis, black cherry tomatoes, three types of beans, chives, spring onions, basil, and capsicum, which is the smallest at the moment, but still looks hopeful. Because it got hot quickly the pak choy and kailaan broccoli didn't survive (they bolted and were eaten by bugs), sadly, but everything else is going completely bonkers. The basil doubled in size overnight and leaving a zucchini overnight before picking meant it was suddenly half a kilo.
oh, I forgot the stuff that was growing there beforehand. There is a lavender bush which sort of hangs over the side of the garden, and a geranium which I'd prefer to pull out since it tends to overshadow the chives and things down one end, but it adds pretty colour in winter so I'm just keeping it trimmed for the time being. And there is mint around some edges and behind the lemon tree, and parsley growing wild in a patch to one side. Oh, and the silverbeet, of course, which came up by itself. That should probably be classified as a weed, but it makes very good "spinach" and cheese pie. Next season I will probably remove that particular plant and replace it with some coloured varieties.
plub jab
[flerdle] another new garden? Gosh. How splendid - ours is as barren as barren can be right now. We're just heading into the really cold season, with frost every night and snowy mornings every now and again. And I'm thinking about what can be easily uprooted and moved as we're seriously house-hunting in January. The only thing I'm bothered about are my roses, my hazel (grown from a nut found in a French hedgerow while picnicking in Normandy), my raspberries...
Plants that get away.
Flerdle, watch that mint! Some varieties (don't ask me which) can escape the confines of an in-ground plot and run rampant around the whole garden. Experience informs me that, should that happen, it's one heck of a task to get rid of it from the areas in which it is not welcome; a bit like some bamboo and cannas.
Fight!
What Dujon said. I am still waiting to see who will win out of the rampaging mint and the roving bamboo.
plotting in the plot
[Dujon] Oh, I'm definitely aware of the potential invasiveness of mint! It was all overr the place here, but now that it has been removed from the vege plot and banished to the bits we don't care about -- behind the lemon tree, over in the corner, and next to some of the border rocks-- it is actually looking a lot happier and healthier, and it's not regrown in the bits we do care about (unlike the grass, which is much more tenacious). frogstar likes to use mint for tea. I think the stuff is vile.

Bamboo, Annerley(Brisbane), circa 1995. The horror.

Containing the menace.
Oh, I like mint, flerdle, although I can't remember ever having mint tea. In the days prior to the realisation that it had designs for the taking over of Maison Dujon - well, its garden - I used to occasionally pluck a leaf and roll it between my hands. Lovely. No more though as there is no mint in the 'new' place. Should we decide to again grow some it will be confined to some sort of box arrangement with no opportunity to hit the ground running.
Am late for you, but not here.
Merry Christmas!
Happy Humbug!
[Giertrud] It wasn't late for me. Where is home for you? I have this vague sense it is in the South...
Festive perineum
Hello. Apols for radio silence. With the little 'un I don't get much time for frivolities, or MC, these days. Had a good Christmas and am now stuck in Southampton airport toilet. Best wishes for the new year.
Calories: 500,000. Windmills: 1
Happy belated Christmas all. One English windmill visited today. Drank tea out of bone china and ate cake. Came away with three kinds of flour, a whole cheese and a jar of jam. We are rich indeed.
Happy new year everyone.
HNY
Happy New Year all.
(UK, pen) Could be, when it finally gets going.
up and at 'em
[Rosie] this is the first work morning of the year. I was up before 7, it's still ruddy dark, and after two and a half weeks off, it is taking a bit of effort! Any road, the year is underway. HNY.
Hangover holiday
North of the border we get today as a holiday too as a means to recover from Hogmanay. Personally I'm glad New Year's Day is over - I always have a really heavy-duty Sunday afternoon back-to-school feeling on 1st jan.
I'm back at work today. Not quite sure what to do.
Ditto
What am I doing here?
Mind the 150-year gap!
[Cross-posted] Next week, 9th January is a rather important date. Any plans?
one more time
Blow. That should have included a link. Sorry this is in its raw form: http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/25979. aspx
I have just tried describing MC and the Morniverse to my new Dutch/American colleague. She needed to rush out to make tea before I had finished..
Our awful little secret
(pen) I even have trouble explaining it to blokes down the pub, some of whom are highly hedjumacated. I'd say you were very brave.
melting
38°C at 9pm here. Toasty.
first proper hot day, 41.1C at 6:17pm
... and 34.5 at 12:15am. It is dry heat, as usual, so not particularly uncomfortable with a fan. And I have an ice pack on my foot after tripping over the base of some mobile street/shop signage this afternoon too. Ow.
The heat of battle
[flerdle] You have my sympathy. Overnight temperatures like that are terribly enervating. Even here we are facing a few days of 'orrible 'eat. Fortunately we have an air conditioner installed; damn the cost of running it, I'll face that consequence later. As I type it's day time and just turning to 32ºC. Given the forecast I fear for my sanity and worry significantly about arsonists.
Sweat, y'buggas
(Dujon) What you need is this. Somewhat easier are the conditions at Hughes Hall; thin fog (just below cloud base), 6.5°C. Not bad for January. It's never failed to go below 20°C at night here. I noticed Melbourne had a quite dramatic change yesterday but there seems no immediate relief in your area.
If only I could fly
[Rosie] Fortunately I live to the east of the Great Dividing Range. Even so it's often seven or eight degrees warmer here than it is in Sydney itself (taking the BoM site at the airport as a reference). Yesterday produced some high readings in the west but, as flerdle mentioned, it is more often than not a 'dry' heat in those areas.
I have not listened to the news this morning but yesterday Tasmania and Victoria were suffering terribly from bushfires. Given my location I am, so far, happy that apart from re-packing our photographs and important papers into a suitcase for easy evacuation there has been no immediate threat.
[flerdle] Where are you, you world flitting butterfly?
[Dujon] Back in Melbourne. The cool change that Rosie mentioned came through here noticeably at about 2-2:30am Saturday, and yesterday was lovely. Today is pleasant too. Tomorrow should be up to 38, then down again to the low 20s. Then up again... This is very normal here, but it plays havoc with my sinuses.
I surmised such was the case, flerdle, but knowing you you could have been just about anywhere it was hot. Fortunately we've been spared extreme temperatures here (I saw that somewhere in the state managed 46ºC the other day. Phew!). Our friendly BoM though is promising 43º tomorrow (Tuesday). We'll see.
Winds from the desert and the Antarctic
[Rosie] Dramatic changes are quite common in Melbourne. In mid-December I was out at 5pm and the temperature was about 34, iirc. As I walked home I noticed a distinctly chilly wind; by 5:45 the temperature was 22. (flerdle may remember the temperatures more accurately than I do!)
an hour pleasantly spent
I spent longer than I had intended reading the Pea and Honey Recipes game last night - right from the beginning. From it, I can trace (in my case) two job moves and two house moves, a new relationship and a marriage. And it's bloody good quality. Some of it is even excellent. *rejoins game with renewed vigour*
Hot
(Duj, flerdle, CdM) The heatwave is noteworthy enough to have a summary here. It's not a heatwave, of course; it's a heatwave event.
Preparing for the next 'event'
Ah, the dear old BoM. I am not denigrating the organisation, in fact if I could give it some sort of collective hug for the information it supplies so freely I would. Whilst the data included in your link are interesting I found the text a little 'non-BoM' style. By the way, Chez Dujon recorded a pretty normal summer temperature of but 37.9ºC yesterday, although some of the more coastal (offical) sites reported around and about the 43º forecast.
Offical is not a new word.
*sighs and blames the heat*
One's extremities
(Duj) I think OZBOM is pretty good, one of the best national services.
37.9°C normal? Hmm, I'd guess your mean max in January is just below 30°C. I shall retaliate with a -9.2°C max on 12 Jan 1987. Sunny all day; it was weird.
Your 30ºC is probably a pretty good estimate. The 37.9ºC I experienced yesterday is, nevertheless, not some sort of extraordinary event - after all it's only just over the old 'ton', a not unexpected event here. Your minus readings you can, like many in North America, Siberia and such high latitude places, keep to yourself.
[To the rest of you] Sorry about the weather stuff.
Look away NOW
(Dujon) Your 37.9 is about the same as me getting 30; it happens about once a year. The UK record is 38.1 (10 Aug 2003) and the RosieRecord a paltry 35.9, same day.
The minus 9.2 was what statisticians may well call a "different population". I've had a number between -5 and -6 but this was lower than I'd thought I'd ever see here.
You wouldn't like this place.
Boy scouts
No more than I'd take a holiday here, Rosie. ;)
Anyway, some time this afternoon or, more probably tomorrow's morn, I shall have to climb yet again on to my roof and clear off all the leaf litter and branches that have been deposited there since the last time I undertook the task. It seems that we are due for another blast of hot and dry air in a couple or three days so to fail to do so could well be construed by some to be a form of criminal negligence.
(Duj) You won't be having a bonfire, then. I shouldn't.
Vostok leaves me speechless even as a weather nut. But Jakutsk is a sizeable city and quite a nice one. The current fog has lasted about 10 days, the temperature falling slowly all the time. The city causes the fog.
New Year New Games
Can we resolve to kill games off with greater assiduity this year? I think higher turnover would be a good thing.
Indeed. * rushes off with a gleeful glint in her eye.*
Sun rises. Sun sets.
Tuesday already? How did that happen.
Bloody freezing
Fog all day at Plas Huws and a max temp of -1°C. An odd phenomenon and the reverse of what is usually seen is that the hoar frost (possibly rime) deposit is confined to the tops of hedges and bushes and there's none on the grass or on my car. I put this down to heat from the ground. Nothing else would seem to explain it.
(Jakutsk update) They still have fog, as they have had since before the New Year. The temperature is about -46°C and goes up and down a degree or two independently of time of day but more in response (probably) to the presence or absence of high cloud, which you can't see anyway ("sky obscured"). The sun does its best but at this time of year 4 degrees from the Arctic Circle it may as well not bother. No wind to speak of; they're probably breathing the same shitty air they were at Christmas.
Out in the sticks here in Berkshire, I don't think we got above -2C, and didn't witness any of the sunny spells suggested by the BBC's local weather site; just a mid-grey blanket of cloud all day.
-9C driving through patches of fog just before sunrise this morning, brilliant sunshine all day but below freezing because the consistency of snow on the ground is unchanged (although I was indoors all day) and now -8.5C through patchy fog all the way home. A clear view of the newish moon above. Lekker weer. (and a reasonably enjoyable Dutch lesson this evening - bonus!)
That's Rotterdam and the countryside to the south of the city, for dem dat don't know.
Weather report
40.7 at 17:30
In pounds, shilling, and pence
that's over 105
The trees have seen a ghost
-12C this morn, and my car tried to overheat when stuck in a queue.
(Boolbar) They all do. I'm no fan of radiators.
Striking off at a tangent. My daughter would like to know why household radiators are so called, when they should really be "convectors" ?
The Loughborough mega-event
Mrs INJ was woken up by our local earthquake (a whole 2.9 on the Richter scale). I slept through it.
Earthquake
My god, the weight of snow blanketing the country must now be so thick it's beginning to distort the Earth's very crust!
Appreciably less effort has gone into clearing roads of snow in the midlands compared to previous years. I blame the bankers.
Three things I am grateful for, in the snowy conditions.
  1. I only live 5 miles from work, along gritted roads
  2. West Berks council are well-funded and efficient
  3. 5 or 6 young men that were pushing every car out of the village I work in on Friday morning, when the MD decreed we could go home. They were cheerfully jogging down the hill, pushing a car up it until they got some grip near the top, waving them on their way, and jogging back down again. I'd buy them a pint if I knew who they were.
(Phil) Not having to go to work is also very useful. But band rehearsal was cancelled tonite which I thought was feeble.
Jakutsk update - the fog has just cleared for the first time this year and they have a balmy -32° with light snow.
[Rosie] I did continue to work from home for most of the rest of the day. In theory I could probably work from home every day, and pop in for the odd meeting - maybe once a week for an hour.
harvest
Just made zucchini chutney. Yum.
[flerdle] And now you've made me crave Brie - yum!
Weather news
Interesting weather day today, with no warming forecast in the daylight hours. The 7am temperature was 27, and the hourly forecasts indicate a monotonically declining temperature until 5am tomorrow, when the temperature is forecast to be 13. I haven't checked over night data, but I suspect there has also been a monotonic decline for the last 12 hours or so, from yesterday's high of around 39. If I'm right and the forecast is right, that suggests we will have eventually have seen declining temperatures for about 36 hours straight.
Down and down
(CdM) Er, where are you? I presume Melbourne or thereabouts. That must be very unusual given that it's summer and the sun tends to come out and ruin the "monotony". In the winter, at least here, the temperature can be very steady, day and night, if it's cloudy. In February 1985 there was a very nearly monotonic decline for 90 hours from 9.8 to -5.7 with just a couple of short spells when it went up 0.1 to 0.2 deg. The wind was ENE throughout and there was cloud, then rain, then sleet then snow.
Helo clouds helo sky
Lots of wonderful weather rushing into Zuid Holland from the North Sea today - hail and snow showers with sun. I have no idea how cold it is out there - have barely moved 30m from my desk all day.
Horseburgers
Thankfully I avoid processed food as far as is possible. I have eaten horse in the past while in France. Tastes much like beef to me. Still, it is fraud if not anything else, passing off food as beef. Bound to bugger up brand image, though. C'est la vie.
Labelling
I might have eaten horse in Malta, where they do. At a café, I had a baguette curiously labelled as "meat and salad". But it could just as easily have been beef. So there's the answer: just label things as "meat (produce of more than one species)", and add disclaimers like "prepared in a facility where horsemeat may be processed". Then the meat wholesalers can do their deals with the Romanian mafia above board. Come to think of it, Indian restaurants in the UK often list their curry options as chicken, prawns, or meat. I'd always assumed it was because there's something of a taboo against eating cows in India, but perhaps their "meat" doesn't come from cows.
Is it lamb?
This all reminds me of this story about the lack of lamb in lamb curries (and kebabs).
Service
Hello. Just a heads-up that this site will go down for an hour or two on the night of the 1st March, as the physical hardware is moving to a new home. Not that anyone will notice, but I just thought I'd mention it.
(rab) Blimey, there's posh. I didn't understand a word of it. Thanks for your efforts, as ever.
I don't understand it either but I get these hilariously breathless emails from time to time about technical incidents, the impact of which is always minimal.
Don't worry, Rosie, rab, like the Mayans, talks in mysterious ways.
Bright thing in sky
It's been up to over 15° here and very nice too except that I now have no excuse whatever for not doing a bit of gardening. In parts of Yorkshire and near the east coast it's stayed below 3°. That's spring for you. Of course it were always below -20° when ah were a lad.
Wether
Weather or not
We've had a couple of nice sunny days over here on the rock but now it is starting to cloud over again, I suspect that we shall soon get the forecast rain. It has been dry for 10 days - fantastic, even managed to mow the lawn this morning.
After dropping the daughter off in Reading at 7pm tonight, I appear to have no plans for the weekend - for the first time in absolutely yonks. Of course, the watching of rugby on TV will take place. Anyone doing anything interesting?
One more room to paint in the new house, then get the professional in to do hall stairs & landing (not all this weekend!)
Then it's get the current main dwelling ready to sell. That's my weekends for the next month.
Unseasonableness
This is the foulest March day I can remember. Snow showers, strong NE'ly wind, temperature a steady -2°C.
(Softers) I see Jersey Airport is now closed due to snow. You're cut off unless you fancy the ferry with a gale in the Channel. Not too warm either.
Your missing degrees? We got 'em
37 here.
Isolation
[Rosie] Yes, a friend is stranded in Portsmouth awaiting the departure of the conventional ferry. The airport is still closed till tomorrow, probably. 0C as I write, still snowing though forecast to stop soon. Hopefully it will warm up in the next 24 hours and normality will resume.
Busy? That's not half of it
Yesterday, I did my first Dutch Reformed Church funeral (my husband's 91-year old aunt - the last of the generation of my parents-in-law. The aunt was the only one of that generation that I ever met). Please make sure that there is wine or whisky at my funeral. A funeral and a burial without cheer is a very sombre and long affair indeed. And for God's sake, don't let that preacher in.
After that, I managed two hours' of frantic work back at the office.
Then I did an hour-and-a-half hour written Dutch exam (Niveau 2.1 - pre-intermediate, apparently). I don't expect 100%, but I do expect a pass.
And then I went to a wedding party, drank two glasses of red wine on an empty stomach and spoke the best Dutch of my life to people that I actually know here now.
Brilliant.
Hollandaise
(pen) Niveau 2.1? Are you sure it was Dutch? :-)
gestolen worden
The Dutch stole a lot of words from French. That's one of them.
Renewed acquaintance
Hello again to the good people of mc5! I return after an absence of several years, as prolonged underemployment has left me eager for intellectually stimulating entertainments. I hope you are all doing well!
Welcome back, Q.
Intellectual? Patronising, paternalistic, priggish, puerile, pathetic (and, no doubt, many other words beginning with Tuj's favorite letter) probably - but intellectual it isn't. Even I am tolerated! Perhaps you are the one to raise the bar?       ;)
Thanks, Dujon!
How about "pseudo-intellectual"? That should satisfy your terms and Tuj's preferences simultaneously!
Perfect.
Finally, back . . .
I had to be away from here for a long time. My Mama passed away in September and I just couldn't handle doing many of the things I used to do. I know that my Mama didn't get many of these things (only a few of the Glowworms and Limericks made her laugh at times). However, it was just difficult. Giertrude is my sister and we lost our Daddy back in 2008.
Glad to see all three of you back. It brightened up my day to see an absent name returning, and three back at once is a treat. Sorry to both about the sad personal news.
three?
I had been back briefly before but [ah...accidental alliteration] not recently. And now the third may Quendalon and on...
[kagomeshuko/Giertrud] A bit late to be saying sorry to hear that, but still true. The pain of losing your parents never really gets better, but the bad periods become less frequent over time (at least in my experience).
NotJohn, thanks. Yeah, it has been a difficult time. Missing my Daddy got easier and easier, remembering that he wanted me to have a good life. It was very difficult with my Mama because it turned into me always having to take care of her . . . and the doctors never listening to any of my wants and/or suggestions. It was a terrible experience leading up to her passing and has obviously taken a good deal to get better . . . and there are definitely still issues.
Sorrysorry
Apols for outage. Disk filled up. Deleted a big file for now, but I'm going to have to work out where the biggest offender is.
Shutting down a city for a day in order to catch a dangerous fugitive? Maybe that is justified. Shutting down a city for a day in order to fail to catch a dangerous fugitive? I think that is officially a victory for the terrorists.
Of course, I may have spoken too soon. It wouldn't be the first time. :-) But the post above was written just after the official word was "Lock down is over and we think the suspect is still in Massachusetts".
(CdM) Yes, 1-0 to the bomber. It's a ludicrous and hysterical reaction. I don't remember this country having a collective nervous breakdown when the IRA were killing people with their bombs in the 70's and 80's. This view wouldn't go down too well in Boston, of course, where they are more Irish than the Irish.
[Rosie] I've been having disturbing thoughts along those lines all weekend, and wondering how much Boston collectively donated to Noraid back in the day.
[Phil] I've had thoughts along those lines - the proportion of the Northern Irish population killed in Omagh was greater than the proportion of the US population killed at 9/11 so would Britain have been justified in launching missiles at Boston? (Of course in parallel with that thought I would vote for the unification of Ireland under the right conditions.)
(Phil) Probably quite a lot though to be fair the average donor may not have known what proportion, if any, went to the IRA. But the organisers certainly must have done. Nobody likes to talk about this, do they?
Yank reaction
[Rosie] They were less hysterical this time than after 9/11 though. So progress of a sort.
(SM) Given the respective number of deaths I'd say rather the opposite and it's all a bit dear-old-lady-has-seen-a-spider. At least we haven't seen an arbitrary country bombed yet.
[Rosie] Apart from America itself, bdum tish!
Tacet tutti
Weep, John Cage.
Nearly managed a month.
For those not following the 8 words game, I saw a hoopoe in my garden in Derbyshire last Sunday. I know enough about birds; a. to recognise it instantly and b. to know it was rare. The hoopoe is a frequent visitor to Southern England but that is the extreme limit of its normal range.
I reported it to the County Bird Recorder of the BTO (British Trust for Ornithology) – he asked me to fill in a ‘rare bird sighting’ form and told me it was the 35th record in Derbyshire and the first for over 2 years.
So, what constitutes a ‘sighting’? Primarily it needs to be accepted by the rare birds committee who make a decision whether to accept it. The criteria vary depending on the bird and the spotter. In my case, although I’m an RSPB member, they won’t have heard of me and wouldn’t take my word for it. if we were talking about some odd little brown warbler, unless it was confirmed by someone acknowledged as an expert. However a hoopoe is extremely distinctive and I have multiple very good photos, so in this case confirmation should not be required. Similarly a pragmatic view will be taken as to whether a number of sightings some time apart should be taken as being one or more individual birds.
Historically records are based on photos, then before that on birds trapped or shot or reported by acknowledged experts – it can get a bit vague, but they go back to the 18th century.
Bring back shooting as the only acceptable form of identification. Everything was better in the old days.
What's hit's history, what's missed's mystery.
[NJ] Thanks. It was the last question I was most interested in. What, in the idealised bird-spotting world, is a sighting supposed to represent? I think you are saying that, ideally, one sighting should equal a particular individual bird -- so if two different individuals spot the same bird on two different days (assuming you could tell, somehow), then that would count as one sighting, not two. Is that right?
Basically, yes. But, of course these records relate to areas; so, if my hoopoe had flown 10 miles East then it might have then also entered the records in Nottinghamshire, even if a series of sightings along its path showed that it was almost certainly the same bird. It's certainly very common for one person to sight a rarity and the next day dozens of twitchers (not birders) will turn up because they want it on their personal tick list. However they wouldn't regard that as a new sighting. It's not clear-cut.
[NJ] That comment took me right back to this classic sequence of Doonesbury.
[CdM] Enjoyed that.
Ignoring Doonesbury, and focussing on the more cerebral Peanuts, surely Woodstock was originally a (snake-eating - hoorah!) Secretary Bird?
Model R-75 raygun

I have just acquired this magnificent objet for a few quid at a flea market. It practically begs to be picked up and fondled, and then pointed at someone. This is a view of the barrel. Any guesses as to what it is? Clue: it is not a toy gun, real gun, or stage prop. A pair of cables running out of the grip attach to a standard 20MW DeLameter powerpack are terminated with alligator clips.

Beth yw hwn?
Windscreen de-icer, paint scorcher for DIY car paint jobs? Bang bang you're hot.
Maybe this should be in AVMA. [Rosie] Not a stripper of ice, paint, or clothes.
My guess, sir, would be a common garden variety of timing light (automotive for the use of).
It is undoubtedly a
Hidden textstroboscopic gun for timing something. If you hadn't said alligator clips I'd be on firmer ground in saying it's for timing car engines, but the chances are this originally came with other bits and pieces to make it do its job. The side view had me ready to call "Taser", but the lens is a giveaway. I think.
[Dujon, Stevie] Exactly so. One cable has two clips that go to the battery, the other has one clip that goes somewhere to pick up the high voltage spark and trigger the xenon flash tube. I'm thinking of pulling the innards out and replacing them with some sort of sound and light generator.
[Raak] So, you misled everyone by lying (by omission) about the cables! Now I'm in two minds whether to tell you that the third lead goes into the cap for sparkplug number 1. In fact, I think I won't. Nor will I mention the long metal electrode you need to attach to the sparkplug so you can connect the dizzy and the raygun of soon to be chewed-up-in-the-fan fingers.
At least this is a conversation . . .
Why is it that men these days don't know what a conversation is? Seriously, I just had this exchange on Plenty of Fish:

averageGiJoe
hi?

KagomeShuko
hi?

averageGiJoe
u have nice tittys

KagomeShuko
That's not a very polite conversation. Do you know the art of conversation at all?

averageGiJoe
yes gimmie ur num ill txt u

KagomeShuko
That's not the art of conversation. You don't understand at all.
[K] How do you know it was a man?

All right, all right, never mind. :-)
Been there, done that
[KShuko] hmmm. Sounds horribly familiar. As it turns out, I met my husband in a chatroom - and the first people to come and stay with me when I moved to the Netherlands to live with him were other friends that I also met in that chatroom. There are loons online, same as there are loons in real life.
[penelope] Are you telling me that the secret to your heart was not a box of chocolates delivered at great personal risk directly to your boudoir at dead of night, but a coarse posting to a social website appreciating your chest bumps? I wish I'd known that before climbing on that bloody dirt bike (and up the trellis).
[KagomeShuko] Here, want these chocolates? I've got a warehouse full of 'em.
no message
[TMIB] The boxes of chocolates - each and every one of them - were a huge treat. But you never stayed to chat. I don't know if you realise this but a seductive gift without the accompanying conversation is also doomed to fail. I may even have been as disappointed as KagomeShuko was with the chest-bump conversationalist.
I say this every summer, but...
Hello again all. Nice to see you all! I should like to go on record and state that la famille des nuits (as we are now known) is NEVER EVER MOVING HOUSE AGAIN EVER.
oh, go on...
[Nights] I've moved house (at least 150 miles each time) for the past four job changes; the last time was to the Netherlands (and the real reason was because of moving in with the windy miller). He has never moved house before - ever... we're living in the house where he was born, and we're about to buy a house, probably in the next village. I've been coaching him about it for the past two years, but I still don't know how he'll handle it when we do move. I think I'll just make sure his workshop is set up in the shed and send him in there for an hour or so every day.
moving? doddle!
I only moved 5 miles this time. 12 months ago was 100 miles. 16 months prior to that was 3 miles. 4.5 years prior to that was 7 miles. 2 years prior to that was 6 miles. 6 months prior to that was from Ireland to England, including most stuff going into storage for 3 months - that was the only time we've used a removal company. Each time has been a family of four, plus two dogs. Now I'm half-way through my 5th decade on this orb, I'm starting to see the appeal of e-books.
being a bit chatty for a change
[pen] All fingers crossed that it works out well for you both.
[Phil] Have you moved to *that* place .. y'know .. the house close to the rather fine hostelry that I streetviewed when you mentioned it a while back?

In other news - "we are a grandmother". Or more accurately a Nanna. My second born 22 yr-old and her immensely likeable partner have managed to produce a daughter of such exquisiteness that I'm still choking back the tears of joy.
[Chalky] Indeed. It is exquisitely peaceful, but only 5 minutes' drive to work. I have sat on the patio at 9pm waiting for dusk, because the birds disturb the peace. Oh, and the hostelry is indeed magnificent. The only downside is that there is much grass. I'm about half-way through the first cut, as it was about 8" long in places.
[Chalky] Congratulations! A new person on the planet is always a wonderful occasion.
*<smug>* Amateurs. I upped stakes and moved to America.

*<glum>* All my Anglotat got broken in transit.

Hidden text I wonder if the NSA computer will start a new index on Anglotat?
Ooh, a new Baby Droolbuckets!
[Chalky] Weight? Height? Eyelash length? Eye colour? Tsk. Women!
Anglotatters
[Stevie] Yours must have been cheap stuff then - mine didn't! And besides, my big sister had already moved to the USA 25 years ago. I thought I'd try moving somewhere *where I didn't speak the language*. Yah boo...
No spikka da lingo
(pen) Glasgow? Newcastle? Caernarfon?
[Rosie] If you hadn't added Caernarfon you were going to get e Geordie Handshake ;)
[penelope] Ask Dunx whether he could speak the language when he moved Stateside.
Well, another week has begun with a crash. Literally in our case - someone fell through the ceiling of our office this morning. Guess who's the designated first aider. I am promised the blood will come out of my shirt, or a gift voucher for a new one.
You are lucky, nights, to have met such a generous burglar.
I should have mentioned that the unexpected guest on Monday morning was a contractor... Apologies for the confusion. Apparently he is in hospital but expected to make a full recovery.
Well, our move (c100 miles) is complete now as we've just found the obligatory last box of stuff that we thought had got left on the van (in this case it was actually a bag, not a box). Really, it's all gone pretty well considering how much of a downsizing it's been. I fully expect to get a car in the garage before winter sets in.
Don't go in there...
As a child, I never knew that garages were meant for keeping cars in. Ours was full of easels and canvases, magazines, fishing rods, gardening equipment and a piano. Glad to hear the move went well, NJ. The windy miller and I have just made the first preliminary pre-process, water-testing approaches to buying our first house together. Basically we've identified one we like, and said we'd like to try and buy it.
Congrats to all the movers and *fingers crossed* for penelope that the process runs smoothly. Mrs Phil and I have decided that even if we won the lottery, we would not leave the village we've moved to. It is the most welcoming and calming place either of us has ever lived. Every day feels like we're on holiday.
Wow
[Phil] That sounds really lovely. Congrats!
I agree with pen - well, when don't I - Phil, that sounds idyllic. The nice part about our neighbourhood is that it's exciting and vibrant. Being the only French speakers in our building is a novelty too - I'm learning to curse in Arabic!
jeez, this is boring
Please, someone, kick me up the arse and tell me to get on with editing this piss-boring brochure, taking out all the management b*ll*cks and ambitious flim-flam couched in management-speak. Page 11 of 17 and it is d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g...
Oh, get on with it Pen! Well, it's Friday evening, so I hope you got in with it.
I did, thanks. Left at 6.15...
Is there ever a correct answer?
What do you do when you like a guy friend? Tell him or don't? Every bit of advice on the Internet seems to be from women. I've heard that guys like the direct approach.
Hidden textI've known him for over two years, but as far as I knew, he had a girlfriend. He's been coming over on a weekly to mow my lawn, sometimes with one of his friends. We were hanging out afterwards this last time since I offered to buy him something to eat at the place I was going. He thought I knew that he no longer had a girlfriend, but I hadn't heard until he let me know last night during conversation with everyone there (a coffee shop where many people sit and talk together when they end up at that place).
[K] You risk it and ask him out. What's the worst that could happen? You'd be no worse off than you are now (less the uncertainty and a lack of someone to mow the grass). Good luck.
[K] Agreed. As a guy who was initially asked out by his now wife, it's appreciated, as men tend to be oafs that don't know the difference between a girl who is interested in them and a four course dinner for two in a fancy restaurant.
nervous
I have to teach him how to make balloon animals. He is so super sweet and awesome. When I asked if we should meet somewhere, his first response was to meet at a church service that I attend! Then, if for some reason, the service didn't happen (like the one week), to go to his church. The whole devotion to Christ, to me, really matters.
The Heaving MAin
After the shittiest night's sleep for ages, I'm sailing overnight to England tonight and looking forward to being tucked up in my bunk, full of lovely steak and red wine,with my bargain gin and sherry bottles clinking in their bags, by around 8.30pm. But first, team meeting, meeting with the zdean and a bunch of writing up that should have been finished last week. Oops.
It's been a day of accomplishment chez Nights. I went to the dentist for a checkup and came out with a quote for a root canal, went to a client meeting without the client (he got his weeks mixed up), found out we didn't get a contract I was the lead for, and spent an hour and a half in traffic on the way home.

And then made my special tomato sauce for dinner, and opened a bottle of wine. And all is well again in the universe.
Fortunes may dip and rise; unlike this, good perspective can be depended upon. Long may you continue to be thankful for each thing you do have!
That being said, I hope better news isn't too far away for you =)
No balloon animals
Sister and I had a pizza party today. It ended up I didn't have to teach him how to make balloon animals. I didn't end up telling him anything, either. We had a good time talking with the people that came, and then they had to leave, and then he, my sister, and I talked. I learned more about him, anyway. Also, I'm pretty terrible at telling if a guy is flirting. I think we might be flirting with each other, though.
In my experience, flirting is most effectively perceived while one is at the peak of the bell curve of intoxication. Drink too little and your insecurities will interfere with your ability to gauge whether he's flirting; drink too much and you are, well, too drunk to tell.
I second Quendalon's advice. A drink is good to relax you, five is bad because you fall over. If he's flirting with you, great! But you may have to be more direct...
The drinking . . .
I don't drink alcohol. I'm not trying to be a prude about it. I've just never liked the taste of it.
Alcohol
As a large section of my life has been involved in selling alcohol, I must object. Alcohol itself has no flavour or aroma whatsoever (although I would warn that telling a police officer that when they say they can smell alcohol on you through the car window is not a good idea).
I would happily rise to the challenge of finding an alcoholic drink to match any person's taste, scent and aroma preferences.
I would like to add that alcohol is an evil and toxic chemical, and if cannabis had been discovered first, we'd all be sitting around smoking pot in bars, condemning the petty criminals that shoplift to pay back-street dealers to feed their Zinfandel addictions :-)
Alcohol
You can object all you want. However, any time there has been alcohol in a drink, I've been able to taste it. I had a friend who was that way, too. I'd imagine we're in that group of people known as "super tasters."
Still, the guy. I know . . . talk to him already!
I didn't think I was going to see him until tonight.
I'm sitting at my computer this morning and Woofles (my little dog) starts barking. I don't think much at first because I'm used to people riding bikes in this neighborhood. It didn't take long, though, to see that it was the guy! He said he thought he'd come by and mow the lawn a day earlier than usual. After mowing the lawn, I gave him his sunglasses that I had that he forgot at a local coffee shop the other night, and then he said he had to go. Of course, I sat and watched him mow the lawn - I'd be crazy not to want to watch that! What to think . . . I still don't know. I just kept praying right then, too.
I know that the guy I dated in college gave the excuse of having to go on a "beer run" for his step-father-to-be to come see me. He didn't have to come into Lake Charles for that because they well beer out in the little town where he lived.
So, the question is "is he busy tomorrow or was he just doing that because he wanted to stop by to see me?" The stuff greatly confuses me.
The talk . . .
We're just friends. He asked me to go outside and talk with him at the 4th of July party. Sometimes I hate the emotions that come with being a girl because nothing changed between us and yet, it still hurt. It doesn't make sense.
I was okay in a few minutes, though. I just needed to cry and then pray.
My mind keeps wandering and thinking, "Did he say 'not yet' at some point?" I don't think he did, but I kind of stopped completely listening when he said "friends only." I know what whatever is supposed to happen will happen.
He looked snazzy in his tux, though!
Me, Him in a tux
Is this real?
[penelope] Is anything real?
Reality
Yes, this is real. He and I went to a Fourth of July celebration - not together - just at the same place. He's my friend :)
states
Remember, I live in the United States - Louisiana.
[pen] Agreed.
In temembrance
Not sure I can remember, because I didn't know in the first place... anyway. In other (non-non-dating) news, *waves from my sister's new garden furniture*
Well it's another scorcher here in Europaradise. At least that's what the radio would have me believe. In reality, it's quite lovely, and I'm going to sit in the garden with a beer and a book and a little radio playing FIP, possibly the best radio station in the history of all things.
(nights) You've only got 28°C according to my source. Same as Birmingham. A paltry 27° here. Comment dit-on "phewhatascorcha" en français?
"Zut alors, quelle scorcher"?
Taking it up a notch with Fretch (or perhaps Dunch)
Dieu verdomme, il fait mooi weer, n'est ce toch?
(pen) Ace Belgian indeterminacy.
It's going to be nice and sunny and warm, not too hot, for at least a week. Despite the conditions I'm going to get bored. I want one of these. But, like everything else, it won't be the same second time round.
Computers
What's happened to my link? "These" should lead you to:
Sod it, then
Nice to meet you
So, I feel a little shy about asking. But if I were to make my way to London toward the end of August (exact date TBD), would any of you care to meet me for a cocktail?
Cocktails for Several?
I think that could be feasible. I believe someone else is visiting London in August too. See this bookmark
Another go
*shameless self-puffery alert* One of these is what I wanted.
Beeeeer milkshakes!^W^WCocktails
[cfm] Be delighted to.
(cfm) Lunch for two at the Greasy Spoon, Streatham High Road. Tick. Pints of bitter at the Dyson and Duster, Penge, SE 20. Tick. Brandy and cigars at the embassy. Tick. Just not, please God, cocktails. It would be nice to meet you, BTW. :-)
Lettuce after his name
[Rosie] AFRMS? Nice!
(Phil) It's nothing - we're the riff-raff. You get interviewed by a couple of Fellows, or you did 30 years ago when I joined. It doesn't imply current professional involvement and peer approval but has its uses such as access to information and a slight pull in getting something published in the meteorological literature. I'd rather have an MBE like my brother or like a friend of a friend who jealously owns a restored pannier-tank engine at Didcot.(No. 3650). The actual metal-bashers refer to him as "My Bloody Engine".

I should be seeing family around that time so I might be in for a pilg.

Around here, if you don't speak Elsässich, you say "Nan mais quand même fait un putain de chaleur oh, faut qu'on part à la mer tu sais hein". At least, that is what my colleagues have been saying and who am I to disagree.
Langauges
I have no idea what " Elsässich" is. I speak English. I know some French, but haven't truly practiced it in years. I know a few Spanish words and phrases. Then, I know just a tiny bit of German words in phrases. I can speak Pig Latin, does that count?
I had thought that I had mentioned I lived in Louisiana and Giertrud is my sister IRL.
Didcot?
[Rosie] Oooh, Didcot's my nearest town now (just). If you're visiting said friend of friend, give me a shout.
Langauges - for measuring your langs
Elsässich - is it something to do with Alsace-style Germch/Frenman?
[nights] I'm guessing they say "parte" :-)
[cfm] Sadly, I am on the wrong side of the world. I have only ever been to one real London-based pilgrimage.
[K] I think you did mention both those things, yes. At least, those were both things I believed to be true, and it seems unlikely that was just by chance. :-)
[CdM] They do indeed. This is what I get for not having my spellchecker on.
[Kagome/pen] Elsässich, or Alsatian, is a low German dialect spoken in Alsace, generally by the older generations, although it is making a comeback with the support of the region. It's roughly intelligible with Swiss German, and if I concentrate, I can just about understand via my knowledge of German.

In other news, I understand my town is on the news in the UK via some judgement or other being handed down about something in prison? *innocent face
.. is calling the clever brigade
Pleaseplease guess the AVMA
A propos the discussion in Eight Words
... I remember thinking, when the "I'm not wearing any pants" game started, that it would conjure up very different images for Brits (sorry, pen) and Americans. As a Brit who lived a long time in the US, I find myself flipping back and forth, or picturing someone wearing neither pants nor pants.
*excitement plus*
[Nights, Rosie, SM, Phil] Excellent! Presently, all I know is that I have to be in Hamburg on business for a week or so in the second half of August. I'll get back to you when my dates firm up.
[CdM] Sad, indeed. But I am sure whatever side of the world you are on is the right one. :-)
I can't believe it's not hotter
No weather talk?
(pen) I was taught if you can't say anything nice ... say nothing ;)
[pen/Chalky] I think the weather's lovely. I wouldn't mind a bit of a breeze, but high 20s is fine with me. Actually, the garden is starting to suffer a bit, but it'll live.
Three free weeks
From Friday, I've got three weeks off. I'd like the good weather to last a bit longer, but I don't want our beans and tomatoes to perish while we're away for a week or so of that!
Persistence
(pen) The weather charts show no end to this spell, at least not before the charts themselves become pretty meaningless (10 days or so). Hot, but not record-breakingly so, and no rain at all. There might be the odd thunderstorm in N France. I'm getting rather bored with it.
Tis ok
We have a BBQ planned for Saturday, so no doubt the world will end or somesuch.
Mob of moaners! Get outside and wash your cars. :)
What I mentioned
[CdM] I do remember mentioning those things now because I was joking with y'all when y'all mentioned perhaps a get-together and said to hold it in my town! And, that is funny about the pants! The game works either way for it to be completely silly!
I wish the car wasn't in for servicing. Walking 3km from the nearest bus stop and arriving wreathed in sweat is not a good look.
Ot. Innit?
[Raak] I'll take your word for it. I've only been outdoors for about 1 minute so far today.
Boston vacation
Also very hot. Walks along the breezy Charles and doing my laps in salt water unheated pools also brought some relief.
Back at my desk now. I thought I was going to have the week from hell ahead of me--but it looks like there may be some relief from that, too. YAY!
(Raak) Kinot mate. Hottest day at Plas Huws since 2006. 32.2°C top whack. Humid and sweaty but not equatorial levels, nothing like. There was an interesting interlude late last night at Crystal Palace, S. London with light rain, thunder and lightning but the full moon clearly visible. Just heard a faint rumble of thunder here at home (2.57 a.m.). Full moon still visible, illuminating some rather interesting-looking clouds. Things may happen.
[Rosie] I thought of you as 'interesting' clouds approached us last night. Very little rain actually fell though. 32.2C is the "Great Threshold" in my mind, being 90F.
Nanopilgrimage manqué
[cfm] You were in Boston last week?? I was there (well, technically, Cambridge) for a conference. (And yes, it was definitely hot, though I spent most of my time in airconditioned meeting rooms.)
Cruel fate
[CdM] Heartbroken! How I wish you had *waved from Boston*.
HOTTTT
Hot here, too. 91F at the hottest point of the day, or as Google tells me 32.7778C.
Just back from a wedding in Chamonix. Even at that elevation, it was still 30°C and over. On the plus side, the weather was beautiful and the reception lavish. Go to a French wedding, if you're asked. You will not regret it.
[nights] I was paused, very briefly, in Chamonix in July '96. Simply stunning. I keep meaning to go back - in summer, as I'm no skier.
Full route
[nights] In fact, this is the route I took for a day out with my (then) fiancée and 8 month old son in a rented Twingo. The views on the road down to Martigny were phenomenal.
"With robes that gleam with sunny sheen Sweet August doth appear.."
Have just added to two poetry games both presenting 'joy' as their last word ... are we having happy summers?
Is everybody happy?
Yus. And I just had to go and Google to find The Scaffold's 'Today's Monday' song, in which is the line 'Is everybody happy? You bet your life we are' which I have remembered vaguely since my childhood. Thanks!
Happiness?
I'm not too bad - work was way better yesterday than Monday. Tonight I play cricket for my current team for the last time, against my own village team, which I shall be joining after tonight. I think post-match beer may be in evidence, both at the pitch and back in the village.
Eudaimonia
I just got my official redundancy letter, which I've seen coming at least a year out. I'll be taking up a half-time post at a nearby research institute, and with my redundancy payment, my late mother's legacy, and collecting my pension in two years this is not actually a bad thing. In fact, I could have had a full-time post at the research institute, but I decided I couldn't face grinding away at that full time for another three years, and look forward to having the time, as they say, to pursue my own interests.
Should be leaving the bitter misery of over 2 years' unemployment behind me come Monday. Can't wait.
[Tuj] Congratulations and best wishes for a rocking good landing!
Sunday night is bath night
[Tuj] Congrats! I didn't realise you'd had such a struggle. Hope it goes well.
{Raak] Also congrats. That's sounds like a nice way to enjoy working. I have to admit I'm starting to see the advantages of a part-time job, timewise, but the windy miller and I would like to buy a house before the end of the year, so we need to keep working.
[Tuj] May we ask what sort of job? Does it start with a "P"? I've been unemployed twice in the last 10 years, for about 8 months each time, and it's mind-achingly frustrating, so I'd imagine you must be on quite a high!
[Raak] That sounds like a very painless redundancy - congrats :-)
P-rofession
[c,p,P] Ta all =) I did do a course in proof-reading the other year but have yet to make anything of it. The saddle I'm back in is just some customer service, answering emails and phones - but as Phil alluded to, my Monday morning feeling was far from the stereotypical heel-dragging!
[Penelope]
Hidden textFrom memory: Sunday is Prayer Day, Saturday is Payday, Friday is Fish'n'Chips, Thursday is Shepherd's Pie, Wednesday is Roast-a-Beef, Tuesday is Soo-oop, Monday is Washing Day IEHYBYLWA. Didn't know it was a Scaffold Song though

[Raak] That place has definitely gone to the dogs and does not deserve one of such stellar provenance. I'd blame Global Warming but I'm not sure now if it wasn't all made up by ENV.

[Tuj] Congratulations. May it be rewarding in every sense.

You bet
[Stevie] Correct. Now go and find it on YouTube!
Me again - blessings tally
It's Friday, and the beginning of the weekend of our second wedding anniversary. Nice things that have happened or to happen today: it's payday; a professor has replied to my emailed request for information within 24 hours and with lots of information; I have leftover home-made chicken jalfrezi, lentil dahl and basmati rice for lunch; we're going to Antwerp market for breakfast on Sunday morning (fried fish and then waffles as big as my head), and my lovely god-daughter passed the first batch of her GCSEs.
me again (1 week later)
Weekend plans, you lot? I think I might be cycling around the Zeeland countryside in search of blackberries and stunning landscape phtographs with a couple of friends from work. And dodging showers. First; haircut tonight after work, with the girl with the hairdryer tattoo. I think that means she's committed t her career. What about you?
Household drudgery. Walking dogs, laundry, cleaning, cooking, washing up, gardening. Have been invited to a house-warming, but probably won't go. Oh, I need to get a new tyre, that'll be thrilling...
In other words
[Phil] You could summarise my seemingly bucolic list of delights as 'anything except housework'. We all have to wear clean pants, you know, It's just that some of us wash them during the week. Get out and see something new.
My last day of work today
Actually, that was two weeks ago, as I took the rest of the month off as holiday. Bought an iPad while I'm still eligible for educational discount. I'd buy a new Mac as well, as my current desktop can't run the last two versions of OSX, but there will be new models announced later this year. Apple aren't saying when, but it's unlikely to be this month now.
[pen] Just realised I mentioned Mrs Phil's gastroenteritis in another place, not here. Not really able to go anywhere at the mo. Good news is that I can pick blackberries while walking dogs.
Gastroenteritis in another place
[Phil] I hope she's now recovered, and your weekend was fruitful. I have been cycling round the empty lanes in Zeeland, where Google Streeview hasn't even been yet, and foraging blackberries. Planning to do it for the next couple of Saturdays. (The windy miller's mill is on this map - a village called Zonnemaire, and we also look after the teeny one-third scale mill on the harbourside at Brouwershaven).
[pen] She's getting there - managing to spend four hours out of bed for the first time in 12 days is progress.
Blimey
Jeez, must have been TERRIBLE. She'll feel rubbish. Sending best regards for swift improvement.
thanks, pen. On the (further) downside, I took the dogs for a longer walk than normal at the weekend, on a different route, and completely forgot about the blackberries. Still, we have damsons, apples, loganberries and blackberries in the back garden :)
Who? What?
What happened to Cleri Who's who?
moribundity
[Softers] You killed it. Much like the AVMA game.


Only kidding! If there's no action for 3 days - the game will revert to its Flat Footed status. Just click on 'See More'
As for AVMA - perhaps you can find a way to pique the collective interest of participating crescenters? You're in charge.
(Softers, Chalky) Revived by clerihughes, but only by breaking bending the rules.
Well done Rosie.
the original game reviver
[Rosie, Software] The current game of Cleri Who's Who has been in existence for several years ... but then you knew that, yes?
decision time
Should I, or should I not go with the windy miller to his mill in the wilds of Zeeland tomorrow for Open Monuments Day? (Heritage Open day in the UK tomorrow too... have you checked what's open where you are?) It's going to piss with rain. I could usefully take some work to do (extension lead out of the mill into the car where I sit in comfort with my laptop and without the distraction of the internet) and I'd take some sausages to cook, and probably stuff to make pancakes too. I could go blackberry picking on the bike if there's a break in the weather. The alternative is cleaning the loo and doing the laundry at home alone.
I think I've just answered my own question.
(Chalky) I did indeed, m'dear. Re-reviver, perhaps.
[penelope] Hope you went. Glad we were of help.
[Rosie] Credit where it's due, eh? ;)
on yer bike
[Chalks] I did indeed go. And it was lovely. I put a photo on Facebook - so you can see where I was cycling. The loo got cleaned anyway. The weather's been very showery ever since.
[pen] Yes - saw the photo. 'Bout the time I was in league with the freeway :-)
Heel bon
I'm loving the Franglais limerick that's waiting for a conclusion on another page. The windy miller and I have found that we understand each other very well when we speak a mixture of Dutch and French (my Dutch being terrible and my French being O level circa 1981 and about the same standard as his). Is this Francerlandse? Nederlais? Dutchglais or Frutch?
Ce limérique-là
(pen) Tu l'aimais encore? I dun me best.
Encore, plus le petit dejeuner
Just back from a romantic short séjour in the Ardennes. All languages work there - at least all the ones that I know - English, Dutch and French. Trouble is, you're not supposed to use them all at once, in one sentence, when speaking to other people. Oh well. But the wine was bloody nice (and the foie gras too, if I'm allowed to mention it).
(pen) Course y'are, duck.
Tonight: staying late to sit in on a student mentors' coaching session (for alumni who have volunteered to act as mentors to current students). Will be writing article about it later. Free dinner.
"Free dinner" - a wonderful combination of words! I shall be enjoying free food and drink on Sunday at our village cricket club's season finale, whatever the weather. I might even bowl an over, if my withered achilles will take the strain.
Monday Monday
Morning all. Weekend reports please: Phil, did you get your overs in? Or did your achilles put paid to everything but sitting in the pavilion scarfing sarnies? *ducks*.
'Free dinner' was actuially a sandwich on tough French bread. Ruinous for my teeth as well as my gut. Bleurgh.
The weekend
I didn't bowl, and would have batted, had our previous batsman got out at least one ball earlier. I did consume plenty of ale, and far too much barbecue though :)
Five times the Friday fun
Getting girded up to cover an afternoon-long conference in central Rotterdam. Preparing to take notes to write it up three different ways for various outlets, plus another two other reports to come out of it. Five times the fun from just one afternoon...
Work fun
I have fire extinguisher training this afternoon, in which we will actually get to set off fire extinguishers in the car park! Can I grow up by this afternoon? I doubt it.
[Phil] When I got a keycard to the research institute that I spend some of my time at, there was "fire training". It was "That's a fire extinguisher." That was enough to tick the checkbox on the form.
How'd it go, Phil? Still foaming at the mouth?
I'm a firestarter, a twisted firestarter....
Well, I managed the improbable, and learnt a useful lesson in the process. I managed to restart an extinguished newspaper fire with a water fire extinguisher.
Splendid!
[Phil] You could be onto a winner.
[pen] Just call me Charlie McGee!
Wikipedia, wikipedia...
Had to google that name, Phil! Never read any Stephen King, never go to the cinema either!
So what else is banter-worthy this week? I've been to London for a day and a half (as I have posted in another place) and I've got two big deadlines in the next 10 days. Or possibly three. I have started a new tradition of Saturday afternoon cycle rides around 'our corner' of Zeeland (where the windy miller's mill is) which I'm enjoying more and more. I rarely see a car or anyone else. It's utterly silent and empty - fields, dykes, birds - and that's about it, so I just take my camera. I'm intending to keep it up through the winter (there's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes) so now I have announced it to you lot, you can egg me on.
ride, penelope, ride
[pen] I had to google it too, having read the book at least 20 years ago.
I managed to hit one deadline last friday, and look likely to hit another one tomorrow, which is to have two massive catalogues on CD, and get them to the duplicator's shop for midday. If I achieve that, I can have monday off :-)
Holidays
I've just booked my remaining vacations days, to use them up before the end of the year. Two short holidays in November, and not one single working Monday in December!
Deadlines
I wish I had the bravado to quote Douglas Adams to my boss
Hidden text"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by"
. However, my determination to hit this one led to my first all-nighter for a long time. Admittedly, I did sleep from 5am to 6am, but I did have two programs running at the time.
Head desk
Phil! Phil! Wake up!
Last all-nighter I did was at some rally or other in about 1999, in Scotland, in another life. I ate sooo much cake trying to stay awake.
grrrrr
Despite my best efforts, I think we're not going to have this ready for midday. Just sitting here watching processes thrashing away in my task manager, wishing my processor was more powerful. Fingers crossed that it saves this time!
I think this definitely needs to be added to my "Murtaugh List", named after Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon films, as in "I'm getting too old for this s**t".
Breathing space
Deadline is now 3.30pm - hurry up, computer!
Dreadlines
*grooogh* Three days until the dreadline for the alumni magazine. Still two features to write - and the letter from the dean. I'm not so much his ghost writer, but more in spiritual possession of his soul.
school, school, school, school . . .
I have three English classes - American Literature, British Literature, and Shakespeare. i've not been thrilled with some of the Brit Lit and others I've loved. However, I LOVED the assignment for Friday! We had to read Edward Lear's "The Jumblies" and some of his Limericks then Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" and Humpty Dumpty's explanation of it.
*waves from Lincolnshire*
*waves back from West Berks*
Distinctly unwell, but hoping to get Brownie points from boss for working from home instead of just phoning in sick.
feeling any better Phil?
I've spent the week off, mooching around my home town, having a lovely time. I've bought a map of the county dated 1796, researched and downloaded a font contemporaneous to the map so I can label it authentically, and taken it to be mounted and framed sympathetically. and I've made my mum a birthday cake. We're off out for Fish and chips in Cleethorpes tonight to celebrate!
(pen) Fish and Chips in Cleethorpes? As I have remarked earlier, I fought you was one o' vem posh birds. However no-one who likes maps (or fish and chips) can be all bad. I have finally put together a contour map of the entire North Downs, 15 m interval, 1: 80,000 scale. 6 ft 6 in by 1 ft 6 in.
maptastic
[Rosie] How did you make it? from noining up exisitng maps, or drawing it yourself?
What's mildly inneresting about the 1796 mapofLincs is the plethora of villages in the wolds, presumably full of sheep farmers and shepherds using the recently-completed louth navigation canal to take wool to Louth's famous carpet factory, and also to the coast and by boat to London and Antwerp, and the relatively sparsely populated fens, barely drained, uninhabitable and uncultivateable at that time. And it's hand coloured. Double mount with green inner, and a bevelled oak frame. Nice.
noining?
I wasn't even quick enough to use the 'Whoops!' function. Joining.
Mapa Downium Borealium
(pen) It took ages. Process: Trace 15 m contours from OS 1:25000 maps. Transfer to A4 sheets, stick them all together and ink in the contours. Scan, sheet by sheet in Photoshop and make sure the lines are continuous. Use Paint Bucket to add contour layer colours. Add place and river names. Print out and butt the edges together. Spray with artist's lacquer. Show it to the blokes down the pub. Take it home and stick it on the wall. I wish I had some way of displaying it.
[Rosie] You can get it framed. You should get it framed. all the work was worth it, wosnit?
(pen) I have framed it. Not exactly a craftsman job but it now decorates my bedroom. My cartophilia comes from my Dad who taught geography among other things and left dozens of old OS maps to which I have added quite a number.
Wensdi rambling
So how is everyone? Anyone care to tell us how they intend to address the remainder of the working week? I'm going to attack it, and use all the determination and spunk I can muster to write TWO BORING THINGS that have been sitting on my to-do list for too long. (And sorry, no apologies for using the word 'spunk'! I'm retreating into the 1930s in several respects, not least with my hankering for bread and dripping).
Bread and dripping? Ee' lass, I scoffed chips in gravy last night.
Bread and dripping? That brings back a few memories, penelope. It were a staple at ours in't late '40s and early '50s. Owt that were scrapeable (greaseproof paper an' such) went inter't chip pan. 'Course we din't call it that as we were posh and had 'fried bread'.
Dunkin fries
(Chalky) Oh, how could you? It ruins them. Chipppps should be crissssp.
How am I?
[penelope] I'm ill, again. 102F temperature, dizzy, headaches, snot and catarrh everywhere. The bonus is that I'm losing weight :)
A doctor recommends...
Phil, m'lad you need beefing up. Get some proper beef dripping inside yer. Hope it goes soon. (Colleague whose father is a GP got the 'flu shot on Tuesday evening. She complained of a sore arm yesterday. Today she's off with 'flu symptoms)
Has everybody taken to their beds with influenza?
It's a bit quiet in here.

*pin drops*

I heard that...
Got back to work on Monday, although I still feel like a mucus production line. Got loads of work on though, as I was off for 7 of the previous 10 days. Unfortunately, my boss is off sick now, and the other third of the IT department is on holiday, so I'm the only person available to fix everything (inc hardware - grrrr).
I ain't touching it
I'm not going near the Glow Worms game again until someone gets rid of the one with the badly-metred line about nipples. *blames Software*
[pen] It seems OK to me. Confused.
Addressing the nipple without even a coma
[Phil] I meant it had a typo: you/your. Alternatively 'To you, nipple, I'd be put'. Still weird. Tell me when it's all over.
(pen) The metre's all right - it's just a typo, and a fairly common one.
[penelope] You can come out now.

[Rosie] A common typo? I would challenge that statement - if only because I'm in the mood to challenge pretty much everything this morning ... (insert winky face)
To put it another way - why do we have the 'preview' function' or indeed the 'whoops' escape if not to eradicate such monstrosities? < mode= really going over the top now >
Nobody expects the Monstrous Regiment!
Least of all the Spaniels!
12 minutes, a new record
The time I have just observed a group of three adults, two babies, and a toddler take in a cafe, from their first getting-up-to-go movements to actually getting out of the front door. The previous record was 10 minutes, taken by two women, a baby, and an enormous quantity of shopping.
Today is my Birthday!
thanks to time zones....
...in that case it probably still is for nearly another 10 hours. So Happy Birthday Giertrud :-)
Thanks!!
HBTY Giertrud
Try to keep growing old for as long as possible.
-
%aThis website is great 6cd8212ffc3e2c1f993c2a3d5054d176
Yeah
it is, isn't it?
Hurrah!
Ther evenings will start drawing out in less than a week, at least at this latitude, 51° 19' 06"N. This cannot be too soon.
[Rosie] Spoilsport!
brighter later
[Rosie] Goodie. Ta for that bit of news.
Last time in a long time
A counting date ... 11/12/13 .... It was in November for us who write the month first though...
Dates - USA style
(Giertrude) Surely you have 12/13/14?
Dates . . .
Yes, [Rosie], we had that. We've had a lot of neat dates so far this century. 1/2/3
2/3/4
3/4/5
4/5/6
5/6/7
6/7/8
7/8/9
8/9/10
10/11/12
11/12/13
The Theatre!
Two more performances of "Irving Berlin's White Christmas" for me. The last performance day and cast party will be bittersweet.
about blummin' time too
Only four more working days until the Xmas hols. Next Saturday the windy miller's mill is the starting point for the torchlit midwinterday four-course gastrotour of the tiny village in Zeeland. i'll be serving gluhwijn from the workbench, under a canopy of 200 fairy lights, as they light the torches at sunset (which is about 4pm here). And on Sunday, we're heading over to Blighty for the week.
three more days...
Three more days at work (after this afternoon - although we're halfway through the afternoon so it's mattering less and less) until Friday night's dinner with the windy miller's company (in real life, he runs a construction project management company and employs three people. I have to be the boss's wife...), Saturday's midwinter sunset torch-lit procession around the village on Zonnemaire in Zeeland where the windy miller's mill is. And on Sunday, we depart for Blighty on the ferry to Dover, heading for some friends in Guildford for our first overnight stop. Can't wait.
2.5 more days
After today, I have the aforementioned 2.5 working days this year. Then friday night is the company christmas do, with 63 in attendance - plus these chaps providing entertainment. Plus Mrs Phil & I have been given free B&B at the hotel too. I'm genuinely looking forward to it, which is most out-of-character.
2.5 more days
Haven't posted my Christmas cards yet. And there are some I haven't written yet either. The ones that are ready to go are in a big bag in the car. I'm hoping to get to the post office (stationed in our local village supermarket) tonight.
That's it! I'm leaving!
In an hour or so, I will no longer need to waste so much time in here because I'm heading out for a week-and-a-half off. I'll try and pop in from time to time though. Try and keep up the chatter yourselves, eh?
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas (eve)!
A very Merry Christmas to all at MC5!
Ditto
Ditto
Ditto.
Season's Greetings
Happy Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah Day everyone, and Allah bless us, one and all!
Yes, I'm still here
Hope your Christmases went well and the new year is suitably novel.
Oh, it's you
Indeed. Which novel should we aim to replicate in 2014? HNY, you lot.
Happy New Year!
(Stevie) Thank you for waiting till midnight GMT.
I've started the New Year with bungling and ranting. TYpical.
Pour décourager les autres
(pen) Keep it up. Eliminate the crap. BTW You've made a TYpo. :-)
Watching the defectives
Bungling and rating? Could be ... *wink*
gravity
*drops*
[pen] Burgling and panting?
Dear Scansion Police
Anonymous defamation is simply pathetic. Even if it were justified criticism, which it isn't, posting it anonymously is the behaviour of a half-baked, duplicitous, weak-minded troll.
The chippy misfit
(Phil) He's probably getting at me, for reasons best known to himself, and has hijacked a limerick to do so. Not good. Probably thinks this site cliquey but too dim to realise that firstly, it isn't, and secondly, if he thinks it is then all he needs do to join the clique is simply not be an arsehole. The wit, widsom and wordplay of all is welcomed, as has been proved dozens of times with newcomers.
Wittering, as only I can
Jeez it's tedious doing HTML.in here on an iPhone. *tap tap tappity tap*
East or West Wittering
The capital "P" is no disguise - we know you're in there. Hurry up - I'm dying.
Capital
[Rosie] I laughed out loud. But now I've got to grips with the titchy keyboard on this eyephone, I'm back to my normal self.
foggiest
So... Thursday, eh? And what has the week delivered for you lot? For me: I've finally finished all the satsumas in the house. I'm going to buy some more in a minute from the new supermarket on the university campus. It's a hard habit to break, two per day since November... Exciting times.
I finished up the week by watching penguins emerge from the ocean.
Beat that
[CdM] a penguin automat? I finished the week in the greengrocer's, being reminded that I needed potatoes. I love independent shops.
[CdM] Don't be ridiculous. Amphibians emerged from the oceans, had dinosaur babies who laid penguin eggs. Read a book!
[Dan] I've just reread my bible*, and it says no such thing. In fact it has very little discussion of penguins at all.

[flerdle] I think Coles' and Woolworth's online shopping could probably do that for you as well. And it would save all the pesky hanging around, chatting, making friends and so on.**

*Full disclosure: I do not actually own a bible.
**cf. Sirius Cybercorp.
Store names
If you said "Cole's" in the U.S., we'd assume it was Kohl's.
[CdM] It's better in the original Greek anyway.
[CdM] I think the delivery charge to the Netherlands would be a little steep though, wouldn't it?
[pen] For the first time in my life I live walking distance from a greengrocer, and it really changes things. Also many other things, including a fish market and a bakery, most of which are even closer and all of which have appeared since we moved into the neighborhood. I may not have to emigrate after all.
preëmpt-o-matic
*waits for CdM to say "I thought in the U.S. 'walking distance' means it's in your garage"*
Hmmm, the flerdle/pen conflation. Muss less common than Dan/Dunx
"Muss"?
Muss try harder
I need celery, radishes and apples. And onions. Anyone fancy a stroll to the groentenwinkel?
[pen] I'm afraid I'm not able to walk across oceans, nor swim them even if Google says I should be able to do such a thing.
despite staying late at work, the shop was still just open at 7 when i got there. I was probably their last customer of the day. Now to make that celery soup...
I love radishes. Much underrated.
I discovered king oyster mushrooms the other day, on a market stall. Never knew they existed. Truly, the earth continues to bring forth wonders.
Mushrooms
[Raak] Though art indeed brave if though tasteth of that most vile fruit of the ground, harvested by the light of the New Moon by debased and foul Tcho-Tchos, who tear them from the curséd soil of Leng - which lieth not fully in this Universe, but doth straddle other, forbidden dimensions across which stride Those Who Shudde Notte Bee, in whose footprints sprout these fungi thou doth prize so highly.
me too
I'm not a fan of mushrooms either.
No Entry
Can't seem to get anything into MCiOS, any game. Anybody else having problems?
[Rosie] Is working for me.
(Raak) Works OK now.
Curioser and curioser
There seems to be some sort of caching problem. I can post there fine, but when I get to the page I posted to from the main page, the post doesn't appear. But if I post again, all the posts show up. It's like the moves are being made properly, but the front page links are pointing to a stale cache.
catching up
Not fond of mushrooms. Or stale caches.
stale mushrooms
I'm not fond of mushrooms either. I wonder if the cache is a good place to grow them - it seems dark and undisturbed in there.
Mushrooms
I like much-maligned mushrooms. Yumptious!
(Phil) Yeah, they're great. I had some with a couple of lamb chops last night.
(Raak) I've noticed that too.
[Phil] When a recipe calls for much-maligned mushrooms, how long should I malign them for?
Mushrooms
[Dan] I generally start with disparaging remarks about the overall quality of their gills, then move on to more targeted insults on the subject of stem length and cap diameter.
That takes from between 2 to four minutes.
Mushrooms
[Dan] With all due respect to Stevie, I'd consider his mushrooms to be simply "maligned", not "much-maligned". I can't repeat here the sort of language I use in their presence, but it makes them sweat like an onion.
F****** mushrooms
(Phil) You don't know how many other people malign mushrooms, or with what intensity. That, of course applies to mushrooms in general, not necessarily Stevie's. On the other hand, Stevie's mushroms may have a flea in their ear from those condemned to pick them.
Not that keen on mushrooms, meself. The taste is OK, but I really don't like the texture.In other news, we don't got flooding yet, nor that much snow. UPdates, Rosie?
(pen) No flooding? Of course not - you take it seriously over there, as you have to. I'd be very surprised if you got any snow but you'll get a load more rain and wind Wednesday and Saturday just as we will and probably worse.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning how to dance in the rain"
... one of my favourite mottos brought to life by "Flippin' Floods in Salisbury"
It's getting rather breezy here, and the school has sent out an email warning that they might have to close if all three routes into the village get flooded.
Nothing yet
Nothing has happened here yet. I have just waved off my dear colleague as she's flying to City Airport this evening (she gets to go to the London training day tomorrow that I wanted to go to but there's only budget for one of us - even though we both need the skills) and I didn't want to tell her there may be turburence*.
*Turburence is what we have called it in our family ever since my parents were warned about it on a flight back from Japan via Hong Kong in 1993.
British Literature is . . . uh???
British Literature is just fine, really. It's the fact that we were in the medieval period that made it so difficult to read. I couldn't understand all that Middle English. The stories were fun when told in modern English. We just had our first test this past Wednesday. I think I did fine.
Chaucer doth tweet
[KS] Do you Twitter? Try following Chaucer on Twitter for a feel of how Middle English works in the modern world. And it's pretty funny too. There's a whole community of Middle English tweeters out there.
Short week
Only four days in the loathsome office this week. Catching the Eurostar to London on Friday morning (Rosendaal>Brussels>London St P) for a wedding on Saturday. Can't wait!
Zzzzz
Awake for 26.5 hours and counting. Probably still at least an hour till I am united with a bed. And it's bloody cold here too (-12C).
Where the hell are you?
Hello Rab! Where are you? Doing the Iditerod race?
Nowt so glamorous
I'm in Denver, at a ridiculously large conference. Just reading the list of session titles makes me want to have a lie down.
Conferences and their ilk.
Unless such things were local I used to delegate our attendance to a staff member. "Here, Fred, there's a do on down in Melbourne. I'd like you to attend (it'll be good experience for you). Knock up a report and get it to me within the week will you?"
I'm afraid that banging around the country with all the bother of transport etc. has never appealed to me. Others seemed to love it. Maybe they saw it as some sort of status thing rather than a tedious chore. That's not a criticism of your winging your way around the world, rab, just a personal opinion of a bloke who could get out of attending the blasted things.
Not at all
In my line of work, the main reason for these things is so that people remember you still exist. If I could do this without 19hr journeys and leaving my family for a week, I would. People sometimes say "you're being paid to do it so quit your moaning" but my view is that travel is a perk only if it's (a) to places you actually want to go and (b) with people you actually want to go with. Work trips rarely count. (That said I do have some good mates at work and sometimes I get to go to agreeable places like Amsterdam or Vienna with them. I tend to be less fastidious about keeping my receipts on such occasions.)
This is getting silly
The A22 is still closed for 3 miles and a further road off it is now closed as workmen with pumps, pipes and sandbags etc try to contain the stream occupying it. Another few weeks, I reckon. Also the water level at this place is now threatening the roads on both sides.
let me out
Back at work after six days of feeling distinctly under par (and a cancelled trip to London for a wedding, boo hoo). Can anyone persuade me of the benefits of being in the office working through a MASSIVE inbox on a beautiful spring day like today?
Bright side?
Reduced risk of early hayfever?
Annual income......
(pen) Pays the bills.
[penelope] Reduced risk of being mistaken for Lindsey Lohan and being crushed by a mob of crazed paparazzi?
Yay!
I have a game in the Google Play store, and it's ad-supported so it's FREE!

Floored!

himpressive
[Giertrud] Cool. I went over for a peek, but will leave it for others to download and play.
In other news... it's another warm and sunny day here in NL. If my Fashion Phenology project is to be relied upon as an indicator of seasonal drift and an early spring, then yesterday's spotting of a woman wearing a pair of white jeans, and today's observation of a student in teeshirt, shorts and sneakers on campus must be recorded. And here is as good a place as any. Have any other Crescenters seen spurious signs of spring?
As of yesterday afternoon, my lawns have stripes.
There's been a strange yellow ball in the sky a lot of the time in the past few days.
[Phil, Raak] This...means something.
But what could it mean?
Yellow balls cause stripes?
talking of exceptional quality...
The pea & honey recipes have been splendid of late. Witty and clever. And they rhyme and scan too. Coo.
[Phil] Yesyesyes, but were UFOs involved?
[Stevie] No, I identified them all as alien spaceships.
Vernal illusions
(pen, penpenult.) It is spring. Must be - there was a frost here last night but now it's a nice 17°C.
Aww pen :(
http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2014/03/13/the-predictive-results-for-typing-county-into-google/
If we don't shout about it, no-one will come and spoil it.
[Giertrud]
1. Do you always believe what The Poke Says?
2. The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway
3. It's unscientific.
4. Get orf my laaand.
5. Google doesn't cover Wales.
the sprungness of spring
I have stopped wearing bicycle goggles to keep the cold wind out of my eyes, and started wearing them to keep the insects out of my eyes.
(pen) re no. 5 - Thank God for that. (from the Ghetto)
(Giertrud) There y'are - we're the wittiest nation on earth.
(Raak) But does the cold night air know this?
[Pen] Somewhat topically, I had a strange impulse to apply those responses to Tony Benn's five questions to power:

What power have you got?
Do you always believe what The Poke Says?

"Where did you get it from?
The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway

In whose interests do you use it?
It's unscientific.

To whom are you accountable?
Get orf my laaand.

How do we get rid of you?
Google doesn't cover Wales.

I don't know about you but I think that works perfectly.
1. Do you always believe what The Poke Says?
no, I just thought it was silly.
2. The only people who type '[county] is ...' into Google are the thickos who don't know anything anyway
It can be fun to see what comes up, especially when the name also applies to something else.
3. It's unscientific.
duh.
4. Get orf my laaand.
whyyyyyyy?
5. Google doesn't cover Wales.
Try telling that to Google The Powers That Be! (If you told me Bing didn't cover Wales, I'd be more likely to believe it.)
Y Gwgl
(Giertrude) Hmm, maybe they aren't such bastards after all. Should be Gŵgl, of course, but the title won't accept the HTML.
Even with an English International Keyboard setting---but copy-paste worked! "Gŵgl"
I still can't get those characters up there! Only copy-paste works.
Time for some more banter
Does no-one have any more banter? Tonight I have served a late curry to the very busy windy miller, made his sandwiches for tomorrow, watched a lot of lambs being born and slapped about on the telly, tried to catch up with the strategies of William and Eleanor of Aquitaine, and washed up. Tomorrow I will try to write some sense, then dine at the university before attending a marketing masterclass, hoping to learn something. And then it's Friday.
Bantering
Should we now start calling you 'Wednesday's Child', penelope?
Being called a child of any description would be nice.Sadly it's not true. But talking of times gone past, I did make contact yesterday with two people that I hadn't spoken to for almost 20 years; both I met during formative experiences. One I worked with very early in my first newspaper job (which I didn't start unti I was 30, having had another kind of career before that) and one who organised a road trip to the Arctic Circle and beyond that made me realise that I can't bear very much heat on a summer holiday. That realisation has saved me weeks, if not months, of expensive uncomfortableness.
Friday banter
I went to a marketing masterclass last night, all about how to make social media go viral. Turns out that it's an art not a science, and that you can measure and analyse it all you like and be none the wiser, except knowing that you must 'light a lot of fires' and then 'use the right seeding nodes' to get anything that spreads. Oh, and before any of that, have a great product and hire GREAT creatives. </ marketing discussion>
In other news, I have just done a phone interview, bought birthday chocolates for my sister in VT, USA and am looking forward to Lincolnshire plum bread and Lincolnshire Red cheese [special imports] for Breakfast #2 at my desk. Happy Friday, crescenters.
Gobbledegook
I'm worried about you, pen, you're showing distinct signs of succumbing to marketing bollockspeak. And don't let anything go viral; let it stay bacterial and be amenable to antibiotics. Boo-boom.
Re : Gobbledook
Hear bl@@dy hear. I wish to G@d that "social media" had never crawled out from under the carpet.  My status message on Skype says 'I don't have a "mood message", a "wall", or any other so-called "social networking" nonsense -- I have a life !'.
Mood mode
[Neophyte] Got it, dear. But you don't boycott it? On the other hand, I live in a different country ( with a different language) to all of my family and the vast majority of my friends. I work in an international environment which relies on it. My view is the opposite of yours. Oh, and I also have a life.
Re : Mood mode
[Pen] Yes, I boycott it completely. A binding vow of total lifelong abstinence from Twitter, Facebook, and all of their their ilk, and Linkedln only for professional contacts. I am also extremely intolerant, and shout "f*** Twitter" whenever someone on Radio 4 tells me how to contact the programme through that obscene medium. And a similar reaction whenever I read a newspaper article that cites anything containing commercial-at and hash prefixes.
Alexander Graham Bell refused to have a telephone in his workroom so he would not be interrupted. Disliking a new medium of communication is not new.
Hyperconnectivity
My mobile is permanently switched off and nobody, except my next of kin, knows the number. Speak to the answerphone if it's important. When I'm out I'm not at rhe office. Like McCavity I'm just not there. The mobile is for me to ring the RAC if the car conks out.
As for Twatter and F*ckbook nobody expects me to be there so I'm not. Anything significant from it will in the papers/on the radio. I wouldn't say I would never use them but at the moment I simply can't see the point. Let others spout their banalities or make fools of themselves. (Just going to update my MCiOS status).
I never get calls on my mobile either. I use it if the car breaks down (which it never has, yet, touch wood), to find out who has the keys to the mill (and how far away from home they have driven before they remembered they forgot them) and to find out what time the windy miller will be home for dinner so I can time the rice. Occasionally I also use it for shouting at cold callers.
My mobile is largely an SMS-powered remote control for my daughter, and an alarm clock. It's paid for by work, but doesn't scroll up, due to dilapidation.
[Rosie] Outside the MCverse I've never adopted social networking in any substantial way, for reasons of privacy and compartmentalization; it always comes down to an insuperable dichotomy: nothing I could post to the whole world is worth posting, anything worth posting is something for which I'd trim the recipient list first. I've a number of chats of between three to six participants on the go in Skype, some of years standing, but their membership is kind of arrived at kind of organically -- or perhaps the word I want is empirically: each came to exist because it did and has lasted because it has.
(all) This site (and a couple of associated sites) is the nearest I want to get to social networking.
Asocial
[Rosie] Honoured! Any Saharan sand-related weather details for us? I have the dust on my car in NL (but the countryside is dry and they're working on the fields non-stop at the mo*, so it could be North African dust or it could be Zuid Hollandsche dust)
*it smells of cow poo everywhere
(pen) The dust comes down with the rain but you only notice it if the rain is very light as it was here early Monday morning. There was so much dust on my car I actually had to wash it, an event of some rarity. Your car dust must be Saharan. It's been a bit breezy there recently and the atmosphere is highly convective, i.e. it's hot and rises rapidly and the upper winds have brought the dust over Europe. It's a fairly common event but the upper winds have to be right for us to experience it and some light rain helps bring it down.
Cow poo is the least offensive poo smell there is, at least to my nose - I rather like it but then I was an industrial chemist.
the hidden past
[Rosie] Oh I dunno. I find the rather sweet and cloying smell of human primary sludge as it enters the treatment works brings back good memories. For seven years after graduating, I worked as a laboratory technician analysing effluent of all kinds - from abattoirs, vegetable processing, and over one whole summer primary sludge during a BOC trial at what was then the UK's largest sewage treatment works just outside Norwich. My laboratory that summer was a caravan. My samples were mostly black and stinky.
This country usually smells of either poo or celery. Mostly.
I was noticeably hazy yesterday, and people have been mentioning itchy throats etc. I a totally unrelated development, I put new wiper blades on my car yesterday, and the difference in visibility is remarkable!
PS, the own brand sets from Halfords would have been £30 for all three. Ordered Bosch wipers from Euro Car Parts, with free 3 day delivery - £17 the lot. Hence, or otherwise, Halfords is a rip-off!
What ho, wipers!
How are the wipers doing, Phil?
(pen, Phil) Belgium's the place for Wipers. Boo-boom
[pen] Oh, the wipers are glorious. It's like wearing reading glasses for he first time!
[Rosie] Oh dear :)
[penelope] You worked at Trowse Beach? Awesome.
Bits 'n' Bobs
[Phil) Your comment re wipers:
Some many years ago I owned a A.H.Sprite. It was modified. It had a habit of breaking half-shafts every now and then. Fortunately a fellow car club member alerted me to the fact that the half-shaft for the Sprite was the same as that for the A30 (well, I think it was the A30 - memory is a tenuous thing). Anyway, I rang the local supplier and checked the price and obtained the BMC part number for the A30 item. A day or two later I attended the parts place and asked for the price of a Sprite half-shaft and, for future reference, its part number. The two part numbers were identical. The Sprite part was nigh on twice that of that for the A30. Caveat Emptor.
Trowse rings smely bells
[Stevie] That's it.Trowse. And stayed for a couple of months during the week in a lovely ivy-covered and tiny hotel somewhere near Loddon that I can't find on Google Earth. Monsieur le Patron was a Cypriot who used to bring me tea in bed in the mornings.
procrastination was ever the thief of time
I'm trying to write a new standfirst for my article in the next issue of the alumni magazine. It's tough. So I'm faffing about in here instead.
Faff away
(pen) We should be flattered that you have considered deriving inspiration from our musings. Er, what's a standfirst? Is it the head of the queue at a bus-stop or sunnink?
[penelope] And why do the Dutch have a magazine just for aluminium formulations?
unalloyed enjoyment
Standfirst = the meaty chunk of text at the top of the page that gets you salivating to read the whole article.
It's a magazine for all the alumnuses/alumnas/alumni (I try very hard to stop people calling them 'alums') that I hoik together twice a year. Some very clever freelancers write the three or four tricky articles, under the direction of our managing editor, but I write one or two, and pull together all the news pages, and the message from the Dean (in my guise of professorial ventriloquist). It takes bloody ages.
Smugness
Now using my wireless raspberry Pi to make posts. It's triffic. A linux computer no bigger than a packet of fags. The cables take up more room.

The GUI is still flaky though.

raspberries
[Stevie] Impressive. I've never even seen one.
[pen] Are you hinting that the "message from the Dean" is — gasp! — not all his own work?
shhhhh...
I did actually get a list of bullet points to compose into a message this time.
This week, I am mostly writing parts of a booklet to accompany a new professor's inaugural lecture in June. It helps that I find the subject interesting.
May I?
Going to view a house this afternoon. I'd buy it if only for the delphiniums in the garden and the uninterupted view out of the kitchen window across fields, rows of aspens, willows and alders, countryside and rivers to Europoort and the Pernis oil refinery and its flare stacks on the south bank of the Maas/Rijn (Meuse/Rhine), but the windy miller might take a bit more persuading. As many of you know, every time I moved jobs, I moved house (and usually at least 150 miles). He has never moved. Ever. This might be an interesting experience.
aspens!?
I'm glad there are no aspens here. They're so damnably noisy! :)
there are some things...
Blimey I love bacon sandwiches and tea. Sunday breakfast.
I am distressing un-British in my concept of the perfect breakfast. Coffee, really good bread, cold meat/dry sausage, cheese/cream cheese. Optional glass of red wine if it's a late breakfast.
Almost needless to say, I haven't had that breakfast for about 18 years now.
*distressingly
[Phil] Counter with Eggs, Sausage and cheddar on a croissant. Alternatively, four link sausages on a buttered bagel with HP sauce. Dammit, now I'm drooling all down me shirt.
[penelope] Your description of the view cued (unfairly) the following in Mr Brain:
Oh I often take these night-shift walks when the foreman's not around
Turn my back on the cooling stacks and make for open ground
Way out beyond the tank farm fence where the gas flare makes no sound
I forget the stink and I often think back to that eastern town.

Stan Rogers.

Which comes from Northwest Passage, his last and best album.
View the music
[Stevie] Ah.
As it happened, the estate agency used a very talented photographer, and the house was disappointing on many levels, not least the many levels (steps up and down into EVERY room, despite being re-built ten years ago or so). And the spiral staircase was wound so tight it could have fitted into a submarine. Imagine carrying laundry baskets up and down that! So we're re-thinking. And looking at another one in similar location (sans view of the refinery), a better aspect to the garden, but which is the current owners' unfinished project. We were hoping not to have to take on a project, but as the windy miller is a construction project manager by trade and we can't find the ready-to-move-into house that we were hoping for, it seems daft not to take advantage of his talents.
In other news, it's raining.
I always wanted a house with a spiral staircase after seeing The Haunting of Hill House, but in real life they are too narrow for my manly frame.
Viral spiral pancake trial
[Phil] Then unwind the DNA a bit - you can have them as shallow and broad as you like. That's why I was so disappointed that the odd couple selling the house we looked at had decided that no-one with feet larger than size three - and certainly no-one ever carrying a basket of laundry - was every going to attempt to go upstairs.
Mill News In other news, it's national mills weekend in the UK and in the Netherlands this weekend. Can I recommend that you make an effort to visit your local mill, take the tour and buy some flour or a tea towel? (And then go home and make scones, obviously - I can send you a very easy recipe in Dutch or English if you like.) The windy miller's mill (De Korenbloem (Cornflower) in Zonnemaire, Zeeland, if anyone's interested) will be open all day, and the chef from the local restaurant (De Ouwe Smisse - a fab place where all the meat, fish and lobsters are cooked on an open fire) will be making pancakes for visitors in the mill. I think I will be washer-up for the day.
{Stevie] penelope thinks you should unwind the DNA a bit - you can have them as shallow and broad as you like. That's why she was so disappointed that the odd couple selling the house they looked at had decided that no-one with feet larger than size three - and certainly no-one ever carrying a basket of laundry - was ever going to attempt to go upstairs.
Spiral staircases
As a committed fan of staircases (I was looking at stairporn.org yet again on my lunch break yesterday) and a pedant, I would be much happier if they were called "helical staircases", unless the radius does actually increase or decrease as one climbs.
Mill Day - didn't he write bassoon studies?
Alas, there are no working mills in Berkshire.
I hear voices echoing everything I say
*boggles*
Thanks Phil...
Journalese
(Phil) Nonsense! Didn't you know that when "costs are spiralling" they're going up. :-)
Limerick Day
Apparently it is limerick day . . . well, unless in it no longer May 12 where you live . . . But it is here, so, hmmm . . . I shall create a limerick A woman who knew she was blue Said, " 'ello, how do you do?" The children all ran As fast as a van Making her cry, "Oh, boo hoo." I know, it's not great. But, it was quick and fun.
These stupid made-up holidays
I wish were a long-dead past phase.
Every day a new thing!
What will next Tuesday bring
That will fail to amuse or amaze?
Silly Holidays
May 19th is "Boy's Club Day" May 20th is "Be a Millionaire Day" and "Pick Strawberries Day"
It's also Real Bread Week, Gluten-free Week, and National Doughnut Week in the UK. They need to get co-ordinated.
COMBINE ALL THE THINGS!!!!
It's Real Gluten Free Doughnut-Bread Week!!!
Ack
*acks*
I announce The back door is back on and properly sealed to the house with glue that stinks of vinegar but the wooden frame still needs painting and I need some new aluminium screws before I can rehang the storm-door day.
(Stevie) Acetic acid as a solvent should not be allowed - it pongs.
I think it's used as an inhibitor to the setting process more than a solvent, but I agree with you on the niff. The small screw-cap versions are easier to use, less niffy and they stay useable after opening longer than the big tubes used in caulking guns even though they work out three to four times as expensive.
CH3COOH
You may be right; I thought it was just a diluent for benzoyl peroxide. The neat stuff would be a bit hairy, like most peroxides. Bang, Bang!
Egad! You mean I now have an exploding back door?
Hidden text7 seconds of recorded laughter
Must've been exciting to be developing caulk. And those break'n'shake glowsticks - they use acetic acid as a moderator to prevent catastrophic exothermic excursion.

Real science should occasionally explode violently, as I explained to my chemistry teacher.

Woof
(Stevie) Yeah, but not too often and not too big. A work colleague was severely burnt (20%, months off work) after an ether vapour explosion set off by an open tin of lithium aluminium hydride falling into a bucket of water. I'm glad I was in the office.
DIY cascade in the limerick game
Oh yeah...
In other news, it's raining.
Funny, that
It's raining again. In the meantime, we've had a splendidly lovely weekend. (But it was too windy on Saturday to ride me bike, dang)
FFS pen, swear properly. Rain here, too, all day. Temperature 12. Stirring stuff and if anything it's going to get worse tomorrow.
40 mile bike ride in the sun yesterday. 100 miles next weekend.
This sounds so wrong . . .
I don't think it is what she meant, but a friend wrote, " Actually, if you look on the agent orange information sheet it does list illnesses is children."
[KS] Quite so. Other peoples' kids make me sick.
Weekending, anyone?
Weather should be nice this weekend - and friends from England might drop by at the mill. And tonight we're going to the DIY store to buy a new nozzle thingy for the kitchen mixer tap, and possible some screenwash for the car too. Can't wait!
Looking forward to having short grass again tomorrow, although it's going to be an long slog getting there, with 14 days' growth to deal with. I might even give he barbecue a spring clean too. Who knows, I may even take the tree cuttings to the tip at last.
[Phil] A trip to the tip? *jealous* It just doesn't happen here the same way - it's so organised and everything gets taken away. When I was a kid, the tip was a landfill site (actually, that sounds - and is - dreadful) in an old chalk quarry a mile or so out of the town. There was salvage and reclaimed stuff to buy from the backs of various containers - my father often came home with bits of fishing rods from which he would create new fishing rods. We were never allowed to buy anything.
Nice tip
Our tip is just outside Wallingford. Well, it's not ours actually, it's Oxfordshire's, but it's the nearest, and is rather cute and scenic.
[penelope] Your last two sentences, on first reading, had me envisioning a family life predicated on wombling. I realized that you meant that you weren't allowed to buy anything from the tip only after that movie had run to conclusion.
Perhaps more damning, I saw the young penelope as a sort of infant version of Edna the Inebriate Woman wombling across a huge pile of rubbish in a mac with a string belt.
That easn't me
[Stevie] that wasn't me, although when I was a kid there was a scary and batty old woman who lived in a caravan at the tip. She had been a well-educated governess who had worked for some grand European families. Didn't stop her from spitting at cars in town though.
[penelope] Millennium hand and shrimp!
Shut up at the back
So ... if no-one has anything better to do this midsummer's weekend, then come to the village of Zonnemaire in Zeeland where my husband (the windy miller) will be running the mill from 10.00 tomorrow morning Saturday, until 16.00 on Sunday afternoon. ('Free running only - the stones are not yet properly fettled for grinding flour) I will endeavour to have coffee on the go at all times, and it may well be possible to partake of a pancake at 03.00 if you so desire. Other than that, I'll be either sitting in the shade with a laptop writing up a wonderful conference over the past 2 days (Look for the Erasmus Energy Forum), or out on a bike ride, or painting my toenails, or asleep in the car.
penelope said 'fettled' *snigger*.
arr, you've got to give the stones a good fettling afore ye can set them to proper milling
I was going to post a URL to an absolutely rivetting account of improving and modernising the fettling of iron castings in Indian foundries, but it seems that mc5 isn't supporting links.
nowt up wi' fettling
I've used the verb 'to fettle' since I was a pony-mad child, and through my career in international motorsport, which spanned more than a decade. I'm now scared of googling for the definition.
Fettling a fine word
Don't worry, Penelope, I understand perfectly. My little sports car sometimes needs a bit of fettling. Some of that I do myself but mostly, because I don't have the equipment, it goes somewhere where it can be fettled by experts. Perhaps there is some sort of salacious meaning in Stevie's world but, like you, I'm not prepared to check. :)
fettling at fifty
It's the windy miller's 50th birthday this October. My plan is to have his replica Lotus Super7 (which has been stored in a potato warehouse somewhere in our village for at least 7 years - I have never seen it) fettled and back on the road so we can drive to his 50th birthday party in it. I think I've just found someone who can do it for us. Now all I need is the key to the potato warehouse.
fettling?
As a Geordie, "fettle" has a different usage for me. For example "what fettle the day?", meaning "how are you doing today?" and "in good fettle" meaning "in good form/condition" (e.g. Alan Shearer was in good fettle the day he scored a 2nd half hat-trick against Leicester, to win 4-3). I suppose it's quite similar, but I'd not realised it could be used as a verb before.
verbing nouns
There are quite a few nouns that can be verbed, but some that should never undergo that treatment ('leverage', for one). In my job (mostly editing/using English written by non-native speakers) I often find myself making changes that insert the verb of a noun - and I guess it's because it's easy to gather a vocabulary of nouns in a foreign language, but less easy to know which of them can be verbed. From my experience anyway.
Some people get bent out of shape about the "modern" habit of "verbing nouns". I have my own list of hates as you all know, but I had a think about this one, concluded the practice was a *lot* older than anyone usually credits and crossed it off my list.
[pen] KAR120C?
KAR120C
What's that then? (I'm asking you before I ask Google)
KAR120C
The number plate on the eponymous Prisoner's Lotus Super7.
A man of good taste
[Pen] Your windy miller has just shot up my list of admirable Hollanders. Seven years in storage, even with all those eyes watching, is rather off-putting so he drops one position. My car is a similar type. Down here they carry the generic name of 'Clubmans'. Mine is a locally built unit marketed as a 'PRB'.
Not as stupid as I look
[Dujon] Why do you think I married him? ;o)
Personalised plates
If I had the money, I'd buy BDR 529
(Phil) Er, don't geddit. 529 is the square of 23 as any fule kno, and txtspk for 8.55. My own very costly favourite would be I TCH, obviously.
Left a bit, right a bit
[Rosie] You'd avoid 1 TCH I presume?
*forgets to wave from Amsterdam*
NCC-1701
I always wanted a 3rd gen Hiace registered as "Galileo".
[Rosie] The Bluesmobile, as driven by Elwood Blues. The number is actually a reference to the Black Diamond Riders, a bike club in Toronto (home town of Dan Aykroyd), whose clubhouse was at 529 Jarvis St.
[Rosie] N 1 TBN is owned by Chris Jeans, who was head of brass at my kids' old school. He was the guy who played the Flight of the Bumblebee for the Lurpak advert (and was principal 'bone for Grimethorpe, and other bands). His number plate actually has "No. 1 Trombone" in small print at the bottom. He's so modest!
(Phil) I've no doubt he's v good but God, what an egotist. Does someone that good really need to shout so loud?
(pen) I hope you avoided this.
Lord Jeans
Indeed, he does rather rate himself on the web site. He's a much nicer chap in person, although a little Hitchcockesque in his appearance these days!
The denim peer
(Phil) He really does call himself Lord Jeans. Errgh! What an arsehole!
York
(With apologies for cross posting) I find myself and the family in York, the city rather than the former server. I wondered what any Crescenters who know the place might recommend for a family of four children ages 6,9,40 and 41...?
Leveraging your existing vocabulary
[pen] Who says? As Stevie observes, the only thing you achieve with that kind of reactionary thinking is to put yourself on the wrong side of history.   :-)    It's one thing to dislike a usage, or even to shun it in your professional capacity; it is quite another to proscribe it.

A little research suggests that leveraged, at least, has been in established use for more than a century.
(blamelewis) Your parents are scarcely older than my nieces.
Leveraging the ante
[CdM] First, 'levveraging' is so ugly (leeveraging is the lesser of two evils, when uttered) and second, i'm triying to make sure the text is as clear as poss for as many readers of varying fluency (of English and of business jargon, for that's what it is) as poss. There's usually another way to say it. If you want my job, come and try. But for now, I'm in the editor's chair.
Never winter in the Bahamas
[pen] "verbed". You ironied your opening salvo. Well done.
[pen] There is usually another way to say everything. So what? As I said, you're free to make whatever aesthetic judgments you like in your personal or professional capacity. I was merely objecting to your statement that leverage "should never" be used as a verb, even though fluent native English speakers do in fact use it as a verb, and have done so for a long time—in other words, your belief that your particular preference deserves the status of a universal style rule. :-)
Fluent Native English Speakers
Not the Yanks, then.
[CdM] If I wanted to perpetuate the discussion (which I don't - there are much funnier things to talk about), I'd point to the fact that not even Google Chrome's spellchecker recognises 'leveraging'. (Nor does it recognise 'spellchecker' so that's my argument sunked before it's even gottenstarted. So much for trying to stay ahead of the curve when it comes to new languageisms).
Did you hear the first show in the new series of ISIHAC last night? (Now online if you want to catch up)
Oblig. Cross-posting apology
I don't suppose any of you fancy a friendly game of cricket this Sunday afternoon, in idyllic West Berkshire (10 mins from M4 junction 12), versus The Observer. If you, or anyone you know, would like to take part, we have a couple of places available, due to a fixture clash with a 6-a-side tournament. email me at philqjones@carbosynth.com, replacing the q with a dot. ASAP. Cheers.
cricket
Aching from an intense match yesterday. The opposition included a former Middlesex U-19 fast bowler. Very fast! And a former Essex seconds team all-rounder, who hit 139 not out! We are a pub team with an average age of about 45 and I don't think any of us had ever faced such a fast bowler. We tried to bat out for a draw, but failed with 6 overs left once they brought the fast bowler back on against our tail. Most unsporting, what-ho!
Holland?
[penelope, or anyone else] The Dutch football supporters on TV last night appeared to be chanting "Holland! Holland!" That confused me as I thought it as just us that called The Netherlands "Holland". Can someone explain?
[Phil] I think Hollanders call the Netherlands "Holland" for the same reason that Englanders call the UK "England".
Hup Holland Hup!
Because it's football. It's allowed in football apparently, according to Twitter last night while that very boring match was on. 'Holland' (as you probably know) is more accurately North Holland and South Holland, two of the 12 provinces in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. North Holland contains Amsterdam, and the Kingdom of the Netherlands used to be run from Amsterdam - possibly that's it. It's an historical reason.
BTW, Nederlanders call the UK 'Engeland'. All of it. Scotland, Wales and NI too. And on TV news programmes too, probably for exactly the same reasons.
Nederlanders call the UK 'Engeland'
[penelope] By curious coincidence so do Americans. I like encouraging them to say "Wales, England" or "Scotland, England" in their charming accents.
Oh how we laughed...
[Stevie] It works like a charm right up to the point where you try to buy a train ticket to that destination.
(pen) Do you mean to say the Dutch can't pronounce Machynlleth? Whatever next?
[Rosie] Corris Youth Hostel, 1972ish.

Newly arrived party from Oop North: "We just come over th'ill".
Me: Which "thill" was that?
NAPFON: "Cadder Eye-driss"
Me: " It's pronounced 'Cadder ID-riss'. Where did you come from?"
NAPFOM: "Borth! Dornt gu t'Borth!"
Me: "I certainly won't. Where are you headed next?"
NAPFOM: "Muh KIN lith"
Me: "It's pronounced Muh CHIN lith"
NAPFON: "Oh. Right. Ta."
Me: "Don't mention it"

It occurs to me now, having written this down and read it over, that it is just possible that the NAPFON may have misunderstood that last line as a polite response to their thanks, rather than an earnest instruction not to speak the name "Mu CHIN Lith" aloud. Such misunderstandings have been irritatingly frequent in my life.

Scheveningen
I shan't mention it.
Too easy
(pen) "Ch" is guttural and separate from the "s". First "e" short; the others are schwas. Next up - Dwygyfylchi. Dim gŵglio.
Dwygyfylchi
"Diggy-figgy"?
that town on the coast
[Rosie] No. S-[swallow-the-back-of-your-tongue-noise]-ay-ferni-[swallow-the-G]-en. *wink*
(pen) Well, I was nearly right. Nearly, sort of.
(Raak) Close. In Wikipaedia it gives the correct IPA representation then f***s it up completely with an English version and gives the wrong meaning. I don't know what the meaning is except that it's two something-or-others. Dwy ("Doo-ee", but very "back") is the feminine form of dau = "two".

What about Wrotham and Meopham?

Or indeed Gotham and Haugham?
Gotham City
(pen) Goat-em. I knew that anyway but Haugham is a guess. Hoff-em?
'Haffem' - hamlet where me mum and dad lived just before I was born.
So: There was a young lady of Haugham..........
Root-em, Mepp-em, BTW.
New office sport
Bluebottle Tennis. Open the window in your office, and the door at the opposite end of the room. You and your colleague compete to chase the fly out using copies of the alumni magazine and the Annual Report.
Saturday morning giggles
I've just read Phil's brilliant concluder to the latest limerick and laughed out loud. Despite my best efforts to drag the standard down, he's made a classy ending.
Lower the Standard!
[pen] Don't give up!
per severance.
Right folks, the eight-word game is on its last legs. Your suggestions please for something to fill its place. Perchance a Book Club or a Song Book? Or something entirely new? May I suggest 'The Dead Tractor Game' - a brilliant title, but as yet, no strategy, game-plan, purpose or indeed winning move behind it. But I live in the countryside, you know.
I know a joke about someone run over by a tractor... It's not very good. This will, of course, not stop me.
I listen to ISIHAC online from the BBC iPlayer in bed as I fall asleep giggling. This week, it has taken me three nights to get to the end of the programme. I'm still not sure whether or not I have heard the end.
Just thought I'd say "hi" to everyone. I've had a quiet couple of weeks off work to help get my head together a bit. It's been a difficult year so far, and I reached a point where I hit a wall, mentally. I couldn't have asked for better weather during the last fortnight, which has certainly helped chill me out a bit. Back to work again today, part-time for a bit, and feeling a bit shaky, but should survive.
[Phil] Just be kind to yourself. Then you can do the same for others. Hope everything's moving in the right direction.
HAppy August
Last day of work before three weeks of holiday, followed by one day back in the office, then four days in Edinburgh for a conference. Not back to work 'proper' until September. Easy life.
[Phil] Just to echo pen's words and wish you a smooth return to work.
ONe week later...
So it's all a bit quiet. Does anyone want any green beans? We have far more than we can eat. I'm going to leave a table of them out on the street for passers-by to take. On a positive note, we're managing to keep up with the tomatoes, because we eat them at EVERY MEAL. *pip*
Tachyveg
How fast are these tomatoes going?
Tomato Zoom
We've been away for two weeks and got back this morning, Luckily, it has been SO RAINY at home that the tomato plants are still producing. And so are the courgette plants. Does anyone want a marrow?
Edinburgh-bound
I'm in Edinburgh from Tuesday until Friday afternoon, conferencing. Is anyone about? Rab?
*waves from Edinburgh*
*waves from Rotterdam a week later* I've been travelling for so long now, I can't even remember the way around my own kitchen. I'm looking forward to just being at home for a bit. And BTW, I saw His Maj the King of the Netherlands yesterday at the university's official opening of the academic year. And I had a hand in the speech of the retor magnificus too. He wasn't boo-ed off, which was a relief.
I have just seen the Prints of Whales at the Fitzwilliam Museum. I said to hm, "Still not king?", no that doesn't work unless you read it aloud. Prints. Of Whales. Really.
[Raak] I was going to follow up with a song title to do with Diana worrying about Charles' erectile dysfunction, but thought better of it.
Buggerbuggerbugger
[pen] Sorry. I've been neglecting these parts somewhat recently. For about the last three years in fact. I was vaguely aware a visit was imminent. Annoyed at missing it. Poo.
flying scotsvisit
[Rab] No worries. I'm sure we'll path crosses again before too long.
In other news, there has been a British-registered car parked in the driveway of the recently-sold house on the corner for three days now, and the lights in the house are burning in the evenings. I'm trying to keep the kitchen door open when The Archers' theme tune is playing, to give them 'the signal'. Did any of you lot know that an invasion had been planned? This is *so* exciting.
The British neighbours
They have not responded to the 'Barwick Green' signal yet. I actually dreamt I met them last night - and didn't like them. Do I sound obsessed? What I absolutely mustn't do is go round, knock on the door and introduce myself. That would be so not English - they might take me for a foreigner.
Why not take them a lump of coal? You don't have to treat them as Southern English people?
On the other hand, they might be Dutch expats who have returned home.
The suspense is killing me. There's also a Dutch registered car there now. I think Phil might be right. What's wrong with staying in the UK???!
[pen] pots and kettles spring to mind...
Windmills
Incidentally, I discovered on Sunday that I'm only a 30 minute drive from this windmill
Barrel distortion
(Phil) I thought the earth was flat. Well, you know what I mean.
Putting the sails back on
[Phil] Splendid. Great photos too.
Greetins, ye pasty-faced landlubbers.
And what be it to ye, Stevie, y'old brigand?
Arr, Ahoy Black Phil! An I see ye have a firkin o' rum with ye.
Blast! Me cognomen fell of me postin, so it did! Yarr! Me cognomenclature be awash! To the bilge pumps me hearties!
Seven Days and a a bottle of rum
So do y'reckon he's dead, Cap'n? He's been in the cells for a week now and never shouted for any food nor beer...
In other words, no-one has said owt for a week. I'll break the silence. We've bought a house. It only took us three years to find one. I'm thinking of crowd-funding it.
Service announcement
Just to let you know I'm in the process of migrating to a new server, so there will be a short period sometime in the next week or so where you won't be able to post.
Curious...
I seem to have broken the Whoops! button, without having actually done anything. Very odd. Must investigate.
*Shouts down into the cellar where the meter box is* Are you alright in there rab?
Ah, I'd better not post this, then.
Aha
Turns out I just needed to resynch the index. As Neneh Cherry very nearly once sang.
The new server is ready and waiting; I have requested the swap-over to take place on Wednesday. Since this doesn't involve any changes to DNS, everyone should be working with the same copy, but this version will go read-only before this happens so that no moves get lost as the database copy takes place.
Welcome to our new home!
What time is it?
Any better?
Is it properly insulated?
[rab] It looks just the same as the last one. Am I missing something?
No
It's just that all the existing code and database has been moved to a new machine. So it should look exactly the same. Except it's probably about time I did another revamp, if only I had any time to do anything at all, these days.
*is happy that everything looks as it should* I've been out there. It's not pretty. Gawd bless you Morniverse.
Long term parking.
The card-reader car park barriers on campus failed as I was going through them this morning, and I had to wait while they re-booted the system before the barrier lifted and I could get in. When I swiped my card (they charge 1 euro 75 a day for parking, the swines) it showed I had a credit of 9,999 euros on my card. It should be about 37 euros. I wonder...
A week is a long time in Mronington Crescent
Last night in Ikea, the windy miller and I bought two plastic storage boxes, and four new sheets for all the guest beds we're going to have. Looks like the moving process has actually started. *gulp*
[pen] How many self-invited guests will you be able to house?
[Phil] Three standing, two sitting down.
Oops, my mistake - that's the configuration of the gents in the pub. Ummm.. two spare double bedrooms. I aim to have a single in one of those too. Give us a few months to get sorted out, then bring any or all of the Phillettes to sample the beers just over the border in Belgium and see the windy miller's mill in Zeeland.
I'm going in, I may be some time...
While all you Blighty-bound Crescenters are internetless because of the storm, I'm going to make a move in EVERY game. Watch me...
Storm?
What storm?
Storm
Arghsplutterkoffkoffglug! Up scope!

Did someone lose a storm, 'cos I've got one here I don't need.

So you are to blame for that sneaky redirect in the weather coding. Shame on you!
three weeks to go
We move in three weeks. Eeeek. When should I start packing do you think?
Packing it.
You should already be under way, penelope. Having moved a few times yourself you should be aware of that. First are the non-essentials - the things you can do without for a few weeks. Then there's the bits and pieces you dither over - if you are dithering then pack it. The aim is to have everything bundled up or boxed by two days before the move. Keep a couple of plates and a few pieces of cutlery plus bedding and clothing to get you through; these can be bundled up and tossed into the car boot along with any food you are taking with you when you leave. Remember that unpacking can be as much work (if not more) than stowing your stuff so label clearly what's in the boxes as it'll save you lots of time at the other end. Bon voyage. :)
[pen] ASAP, basically. We've moved in 1998, 2000, 2003 (twice), 2004, 2006, 2011, 2012, 2013. It doesn't get easier, as we have more stuff every time we move, but we are better at it. Twice we've done it at a week's notice, which adds to the fun!
I suspect your move might be harder than most due to it being the Windy Miller's first, so good luck!
A moveable feast
[Phil, Duj] I think you're both right. I moved in 1997, 1998 (twice), 1999, 2007 and 2009. I may have forgotten how much I hate it, but I'm so looking forward to the new house. It'll be good in the end. It's perhaps 15 or 16 rungs up the property ladder from our tired old terraced house. Now... how to transplant the sapling hazelnut tree grown from a nut found under a hedge during a picnic while on holiday in Brittany which is hanging onto its leaves. I'm going to start digging a ring around the roots - a bit deeper every few days - so that we can lift it in a couple of weeks.
The tree
Does the new place have more storage space / shed space? if so, you can't go wrong :)
treensplantation
[penelope] good luck with that. Expect the wretched thing to go into shock for two years anyway.
Hard to say about the storage thing. It has fewer cupboards, but more rooms, and it has hidey-holes in the 'berging', the Toblerone-shaped spaces over the eaves created by bedrooms up in the roof. But I'm aware that if I shove box after box into the berging spaces, they might be shuffled so far away from the access hatches that I'll never see them again, and neither will anyone else until the house is eventually demolished. (Oh no. I've just put into words the fear that will become my house-moving nightmare for the next 6 months.) There's also a garage under the house and a big (and properly roofed) space under the massive deck. This morning I gave ALL my money to the solicitor; I don't have a running-away fund any more. Eeek.
[penelope] When facing the same situation (Mrs Stevie packs her ever-growing collection of Xmas Tree Tat into the 'berging' on our hours) I seriously considered installing a small tramway like that used to ferry prisoners through Tom, Dick and Harry.

You could make the rails from wooden 1x1 screwed to plywood bed and run the trucks between them rather in the manner of the Montreal Metro. You make the trucks from plywood or MDF with large non-swivel castors mounted on for wheels. The furthest one away has a stout rope attached to it. To load tat into berging simply add a truck, then pile on tat. When it is full, push the truck down the track and add another. To retrieve tat, pull on the rope to bring trucks back up the line.

Mind you don't make your house fall on its side with all the weight though. You may need to counterbalance the house with lead shot in the gutters.

[penelope] Though you might need to brace the gutters with long poles to prevent them tearing off the house too.
Sounds like a good excuse for flying buttresses to me.
I'm laughing out loud because lead shot has been illegal for years, and we'd only need to weight the house down on one side, because the other side is build off the edge of the dijk. (ie the front door is at road level, but the back door is a floor below, at the bottom of the dijk).
[penelope] *sighs* it is only called lead shot. It is made from less politically harmful materials now to avoid unnecessary hysteria in the unchemist poplace.
Hidden text The only non-fish lethalities ever sustained by lead shot would appear to involve a delivery system based on gunpowder or nitrocellulose and a stout metal tube through which to guide the said lead shot to the lethalee at high speed. The danger posed by lead in massive form has always been more to the politicians than to the public. The only person to have died from a non-paint lead-involved non-shooting in New York was, I believe, a child killed by a falling sash weight. It is left as an exercise for the reader to calculate the cost benefits involved in this nonsense.
I have to say that joining the EC has made of England a land of scaredy-cat weenie runaway sissies. I was lectured last month by someone in the UK offended that I had the audacity to suggest on a forum using acetone as a cleaner for metal, and last year was taken to task for my Hitler-like suggestion that brake fluid would fetch paint off plastic quite effectively.
I clean my glasses with whiteboard cleaner, AKA Isopropyl Alcohol, largely because it's provided free at work. It works a treat. I've been toying with taking it home to try removing some stubborn chewing gum.
Plumbic indiscretions
(Stevie) Yes, metallic lead is not a hazard. My mains water comes through several feet of lead pipe. I've just made a little counterweight for my trombone out of lead from an old car battery which involved melting it and bashing it into shape. It's worth not ingesting lead compunds though and the banning of tetraethyl lead from petrol was a good thing.
I wouldnt't say it was joining the EU that has made us so risk-averse; they have just added an extra layer of absurdity to a process that started about 30 years ago in which we decided to become princesses, or as I prefer it, spoilt wankers. Acetone, BTW is one of the least toxic organic chemicals, comparable with ethanol, i.e you can drink it, preferably diluted.
Apologies
Ummm, that last post from Stevie was from me, and was supposed to be addressed to Stevie. I claim tiredness as my excuse.
Apologies
Umm, that last post from Phil was from me, and was supposed to be addressed to Phil. I claim tiredness as my excuse. *wink*
(Phil, aka Stevie) IPA (chemists' term for isopropyl alcohol) won't shift chewing gum. That stuff is little better than an organic version of Blu-Tak, i.e. resistant to almost anything. Try a blowlamp. This post is from penelope, who has broadened her portfolio, as they say.
Broadened her what?
Actually, for choongum, rub with icecubes until cold and brittle, then take a bloody great hammer and chisel to it.
Bubblegum will often yield to a stint in the deep freeze. Oh, penelope already said that. To keep with the theme of chemical application: Try pouring a little liquid nitrogen on the bubblegum (and anything else your scientific interest in catastrophic failure under cryogenic shock lights upon - pens, fruit esp. grapes, and rubber gloves are classic favorites) and carefully prying it off. Use At Own Risk - not responsible for shattered glasses, pullovers, cricket bats, shoe-soles or whatever.
Weak end
Working my last afternoon before a bunch o' weeks off. I'll be packing boxes, chucking stuff out and MOVING HOUSE! I'm back in the office for three days in the middle before we actually get the keys, but I'm not going to tell anyone about that because I don't want any distractions from writing the Annual Report.If they know I'm here, they send me work to do.
Jolly good limerick...
(Phil) Would you mind if I borrowed your limerick (appropriately cited of course)? The one that begins 'The choirmaster asked for staccato'... I think it would amuse people if placed in the members' newsletter of the choir I'm in.
Limerick snaffling...
[Knobbly] Not at all. I'd be honoured :)
No postings from Penelope. I wonder if she is crouched in her new basement hiding from the vengeful revenant of Bonkers the Clown (aka the Straight-Razor Fiend of Chipperfield's) while clouds of flies spell "GET OUT" on the windows?
Not sure what all that was about...
I'm surrounded by boxes. That's all. We get the keys on Friday 14 November. Please don't tell me tales about scary clowns...
Mrs Stevie and I spent a weekend in a hotel recently on account of it being our 27th wedding anniversary. I suggested we mark the Chateau Stevie bathroom mirror with the words "GET OUT" in soap so it would show up when the Stevieling had a shower. We decided that it would be too mean to scare her this way, as she has a very active imagination. We were split over the alternate plan of writing "CLEAN YOUR ROOM" on the mirror though.
Soap for Windows
[Stevie] So what did you write on the mirror in the end? (And congrats on your anniversary)
Nothing, of course. I'd never do anything to scare her without being there to make it all better afterward (or give her someone to yell at, which amounts to the same thing). I just fake being mean.
(pen) And polish for Google Chrome?
Polish/polish?
The language or to make it shiny?
(Giertrud) The shiny stuff. I wouldn't use lower case for a language though I suppose the French do.
We moved house!
It's bloomin lovely! But... we have two wifi networks, neither of which reach into our bedroom, so I can't listen to Radio 4 in bed any more. Boo.
Luxury! I dream of a house so big that two wifi networks still can't reach all of it! I don't know the technicalities, but is there some sort of relay device that would extend the range?
WDS
...is the buzzword. But Dan is probably yer man for this sort of thing as he always seems to come up with the best solution first time.
[rab] What a nice thing to say. [pen] Depends on the character of the problem. If I were in a big old house with thick old building materials I'd consider powerline adapter/access points, which would obviate the wiring problem and the signal-blocking walls problem and let you put wifi whereever you need it. It's also worth looking at whether the access points you have are up-to-date, as powerful/sensitive as they might be and reasonably sited to where you actually want them, and move/replace as appropriate. I just put in this model, originally intending to mount it in the ceiling central to the house -- there are generally fewer things to get in the way and absorb signal higher up -- but as it's a bungalow it's reaching everything quite well just sitting on a desk in the basement. What's nice about this one is that it projects signal in all directions including above and below, so it's ideal for placing in a ground floor ceiling of a two storey house. But again, I don't know what exactly what problem we're solving here.
I should have mentioned that yes, there are range extenders and they're probably fine, I just have no experience with them because they annoy the purist in me - one radio hop to the wired network ought to be enough for anyone. Plain repeaters are inexpensive and you can just stick one in, but effectively halve your wireless bandwidth. WDS by contrast is a relatively expensive technology which would require you to start from scratch and buy all the units from a single vendor. Again, I'd start by looking at the placement and performance of the ones you have.

And congratulations on moving in! When's the NetherPilg?

Ah yes
I'd forgotten about Powerline.
Crossed wires
Yes, the power line systems work, but . . .
Beware if you have two or three phases for the house supply. It'll most likely cause much frustration should each end of the supposed circuit be on different phases.
Well, I said I'd consider it, there's quite a bit that can go wrong with them; they work best on the same circuit which might rule them out for a given installation; some stop working while an unshielded motor is running, such as a paper shredder or sink disposal or some below-spec appliance. It's usually good to buy from a business with a 30-day unconditional return policy so you can try these things out.

Before going that way the first thing to try is to just move your existing APs, try different channels, fiddling with the antennae, and then move on to testing out more powerful units. Newer 802.11ac units like the one I linked have multiple antennas and beamforming technology and are pretty good at getting a stable connection through walls. That one's Power over Ethernet as well so you don't to position it near a mains socket, though that raises the cost a little more since you need an injector to supply current. (Note also if you ever buy PoE network gear always use an injector that the manufacturer has tested, not whatever's cheap.)

baffled by the science of it
Erm... it's a new house, and has a concrete structure, so there's at least 2 concrete walls/floors between the router (at dijk/road level) and the bedroom (lower floor). I guess we'll have the same problem when I get my top floor office working too. We've got one of the powerline adapter/access points, but I think it's too far away from the router - I need to use another socket. I'll start moving it about later this week when I get time. I don't need an enormous amount of bandwidth downstairs - I only listen to the radio in headphones in bed, that's all. Thanks for all the thinking.... I'll relay it to my technical consultant (aka the windy miller)
I always think new houses should have some accommodation for adding and updating the wiring. I just added ethernet ports in the bedrooms and it was a real pain doing it in a non-destructive, not-unsightly way in this 1915 house. Still don't have a neat way to do it in the living room but since the lazy slobs who installed cable TV for a previous owner just did it by drilling a hole in the hardwood floor, for now I just repurposed that. It's ugly but it's under a cabinet so I can ignore it.
Speaking as a hardwood floor driller of yore, sometimes it is the only way short of removing an entire wall and who needs the walls out at Christmas? The good thing about hardwood is it also comes in dowel form so a hole is only there until the wall has to come out anyway.
But if you don't take the wall out at Christmas how do you get the tree in? I hope you're not suggesting lowering it through the hole in the roof, as that would entail making the hole needlessly large; normally said hole only has to accommodate the tree's upper span.
There Was I, A-Drillin' This 'Ole
And just to show me, today I was required to drill one(1) hole in the exposed soleplate of the living room wall so I could finally address the "no ground connection" issue in the sockets we plan on plugging the brand-new, Mrs Stevie for the use of, 48 inch wide flat screen "smart" TV into.
Hidden textI wonder if that was why the old Philips 27 inch CRT had a bendy picture all these years; do TV electric gubbins use the ground as a reference of some sort? I dunno. At least we no longer have a current carrying ground now I got the supply upgraded and a proper ground installed. The old ground strap used to work loose from the water pipes and it looked like we had an arc welder running down there. What?

Having made several careful calculations and measurements I sat on the basement stairs, carefully located the groundless cable with Mr Hand and felt the extra-long electrician's drill-bit into place (no line of sight, you see) and by dint of swearing and sheer stick-toitiveness I punched a 5/16ths hole one quarter inch away from the skirting board straight through our hardwood floor. Extra poignancy was lent to this fiasco by my only discovering the fact after feeding four feet of wire through the hole and wondering where it was all going as I couldn't see it in the hole I made in the stairwell wall to do all the wire-fu where no-one would see it. I could hear the wire scratching at the wall but couldn't find it through my access hole (which was perfectly aligned with the junction boxes, so one in the win column even if swamped by the floods of incompetence happening all around me).

The anti-handiman spirits are clearly in your pocket Dan. Well played, sir. Well played.

Now, having run sixty feet of green-clad wire from the socket back to the power distribution center

Hidden textI could have lazed-out and run three feet of wire to the nearest circuit with a ground, but then I'd have disconnected that circuit at some point in the future when I'd long forgotten about the TV socket and that would be a juicing waiting in ambush the next time I fiddled with the TV hookup
I'm off out dowel shopping.
'Andy [Mac]Dowel[l]
Clearly the answer is to manufacture flooring with a regular pattern of what appear to be little round inlays but which are in fact pre-installed dowels; when you need a hole you just tap one out.
(Stevie) "Dowel shopping" sounds like a euphemism for some dubious activity. Don't do it.
And the Flat Screen TV c/w HD cable TV hookup and integration into the WiFi has Mrs Stevie smiling and heaping me with compliments and thank-yous in between bouts of binge Netflix-ing.
Next up: re-introducing surround-sound via the miracle of the wireless soundbar and removing to another place of the DVD player that opens only to close before you can load or unload a disc.
[Dan Re: Pre-made knockouts in the floor] Where's the fun in that? More to the point, where's the clear opportunity to deploy The Rule? Admittedly, this time all I got out of it was a couple of new spiral saw bits "needed" to saw out the hole in the sheetrock (actually, I should pull the 66s and 99s on account of me not being able to come up with an alternative method of cutting such a close-fitting hole without serious danger of cutting the cable too. (A lie, I have a small circular saw made out of an angle grinder that would have done almost as good a job while at the same time posing perhaps the greatest hazard to the user I have ever personally seen in a commercially available tool, and that includes the gas-powered chain-saw mounted on a ten foot pole and that never-to-be-sufficiently-damned McCulloch weed-wacker))
If your new TV supports HDMI-CEC it should work well with your Raspberry Pi. I paid more than the price of a Pi just for a CEC dongle for my XBMC box, but boy is it nice, you can use the TV remote for everything and let all the others moulder in a drawer. (You can sort of achieve the same result with a smartphone or tablet, but then you have to use separate apps for the TV and XBMC, the Viera app is pants, and it's really unhandy to slide between screens to get to the various controls.) It helps if your soundbar is also CEC compatible and connected to the ARC port. It means I can turn off the TV and just listen to music streams on the sound bar. (For that I do need to use the tablet or phone.)

Now if only my supposedly fanless HTPC actually ran stably without a fan. Fear to click: my USB fan hack. (The two sticky-up things to the right are external antennas I bodged onto it because the factory wifi was rubbish and if I'm going to have a Linux box next to a window I'll make it an access point so I can listen to streaming radio while snipping things in the garden.)

eh?
Ehndeed.
Sorry, should have prefaced that with "[Stevie]".
[Dan] I was lost at "dowel" ;-)
Integrated System Blues
Well, I need something. The Vizio soundbar has it's own remote (intended to be used to configure it before the Vizio TV remote takes control and of greatest use to turn down the stupid levels of "awesome" factory configured into the sub-woofer) is pathetic and doesn't match the aesthetics of the black-with-colored-buttons of the Sony kit (TV and Disc Player) or the Cablevision (A silver ST:TNG phaser-like affair needed to change the cable channels). I finally got the Sony TV remote to control the soundbar, then realized I needed the cable remote to do that, but in making it recognize the telly (so the on/off button would work) ended up not being able to mute the television sound so it doesn't f*ck-up the surround sound panorama.

It is all very trying and a big argument in favor of buying all one manufacturer's kit (the disc player instantly integrated remote-wise with the telly).

The best picture seems to be with Blu-Ray discs, which look staggeringly good, followed by Netflix and other HD netty content, then HD cable and other signals a distant last place. The picture from all the non-disc sources seems (to me) to have the actors standing like cutouts in front of the backdrop. This is probably a matter of dialing down some factory preset. All the preset "modes" I found were eye-hurtingly bad; too bright (refelcting surfaces flared like Novae), too red, cartoonish sharpness etc. Once I killed the red by about 50%, made the sharpness a tad higher and knocked the shine off it all looked very nice indeed.

Everyone else in the extended family (who are all HD ents veterans) will probably feel the picture isn't colorful enough, but as I said to Mrs Stevie, I can't watch a face that has livid blotches all over it so I'd be grateful if she'd move out of my eye-line so I could see the screen to adjust it.

I was also mizled over the wireless bit of the soundbar, which was only between the sub-woofer and the bar, not to each of the satellite speakers as I had been led to believe.

I imagine watching me trying to buy all this stuff was very like watching the sketch from Not the 9 O'Clock News where Mel Smith tries to buy a gramophone and Rowan Atkinson tries not to sell him one.

What have I started?
Our telly has a "store display mode" which I think just means an obnoxiously bright picture. The thing about this is that, in principle, it is activated by drilling down about eight levels of menus. However there appears to be an undocumented shortcut that is trivial for a three-year old to activate. I wish I knew what it was, and whether this shortcut also deactivates it, because the menus that take you there are all obscurely named and give you the impression you're going to get it to self-destruct.
While we're on the subject...
I'm thinking of getting a new TV to replace my ancient CRT, maybe in the post-pre-Christmas sales. However, my needs are rather specialised. I have no aerial, satellite, cable, or indeed a TV licence, and don't need any of these, as I only use it for watching DVDs. I'd like to also be able to watch video streamed from any of my computers or coming from the internet. What's the simplest way of enabling that, given that the desktop machine is upstairs and the TV is downstairs? Ideally I'd be able to sit downstairs and tap on my iPad or MacBook Pro to make TV stuff happen. Would it just be a matter of having a TV with a wifi connection (do TVs have wifi these days?) and setting it up as a second screen on my laptop (can laptops mount extra displays over wifi?)? Or something else?
In My Recently Experienced Opinion
Smart TV. Switch it on, acquaint it with your network password, wait five minutes while it updates its firmware and Bob's your uncle.

Of course, you'll have to fiddle with the levels to make it look right, but it's pretty much an out of the box and up-and-running experience for something with a computer inside it.

The important thing then becomes how many HDMI holes it has in the back vs. the number of cables you want feeding the thing.

Which in your case is one, but I'd demand two just in case you ever decide you'd like cable TV or whatever.

Cables
The ideal number of cables is zero, but I see there are such things as wifi to HDMI convertors. Presumably these do what the name suggests? A lot of them seem to be tied to specific services.
[Raak] Given that you use OSX and iOS devices I suggest you get the most basic TV that has the picture size and quality you like, and an Apple TV. In addition to having far more and better apps than a 'Smart TV', it will stream pretty much anything from your phone, iPad and Macs.

The trouble with Smart TVs is that they can be pretty poorly maintained when it comes to software updates; a year or two in and they're basically abandonware. The only thing I use mine for (app-wise) is Netflix, because all my servers and things are Linux-based and can't do DRM. And the Netflix app is terrible.

If my home setup were Apple centric (and I didn't develop this sort of thing for fun and profit), the Apple TV would be all I'd get.

[Dan] I've wondered from time to time what the Apple TV is. It looks like the way to go. That will bring to a total of 6 the number of Apple things-with-computers-inside I have.
Having made that endorsement I have to add that every individual option has limitations. Apple TV's is that they have a slightly more old-skool than average walled-garden approach, and their app selection is consequently limited. For example, because they have their own digital video store, they don't support any competing online video rentals like Amazon, for example. But if you want that there's a pretty easy workaround: install the Amazon Instant Video app on your iPad and then stream it to the Apple TV via Airplay.

The reason I recommend it is because you'll be able to access all your content from your various computers -- certainly anything that can be put in iTunes, and that includes movies you rip yourself with third party software like handbrake or source in other ways we won't go into -- and anything that it doesn't provide an app for you can fling at it from one of those devices. And it does have the characteristic Apple virtue that what it does have is less broken than everybody else.

[Dan] I've heard other people talk about Chromecast, and I have even less idea what this does than an Apple TV. Does it play nice with iDevices? Is it any good?and err indeed what does it do? The website is a bit vague
[rab] It's a web streamer you control with an Android device or (to some extent) a chromebook or the chrome browser. Essentially most things you can do on your Android device you can 'cast' to your TV. It's a bit like a dumber Apple TV, one that doesn't have its own onboard apps but just plays what some other device sends it (or tells it to play -- the distinction is blurred).

Depending on whether the app's media type and location is supported by Chromecast, the 'source' device may actually be doing the work of fetching and rendering the material and 'casting' the A/V output to Chromecast, but commonly it's just sending the URL and various tokens and chromecast is doing the actual fetching/decoding.

It's similar to having an Airplay-only device on your TV; bearing in mind that they are similar protocols but not the same nor interchangeable. Its main disadvantage is that it can't play content that's local to your network, so if you have your own movies and things you have to play them on your device and screencast it to chromecast. Which may or may not be well supported and look decent. For several good reasons I'd rather tell the TV-attached gizmo "play this file, which you can find over on that computer", than tie up some other device playing it and throwing the video to the TV. You can do the latter with Apple TV as well, but the thing is you don't have to, at least for any content that's supported by iTunes.

For balance
There's a metric shedload of other ways to do this sort of thing, with various amounts of overlap and wheel reinvention. The Apple TV approach is one I recommend for someone who's already pretty invested in the Apple ecosystem. It's probably the quickest route to maximum versatility without going to a lot of expense or trouble. If you don't have least one iDevice and/or don't want to use iTunes for your local media, getting as complete a solution can be a little more complicated, though not necessarily more expensive and there are a few reasons why it might be worth the trouble.
[Raak] Sorry, I could have sworn I read your post as saying you intended to connect a disc player. Ignore HDMI cabling entirely.
[Stevie] I thought TVs all ran over HDMI these days? I do have a DVD player (other than my computers), but it and the TV are both so old they use SCART.
[Raak] You said you were going with a network-to-TV model. A smart TV will hunt for your network, ask for a password and then present you with whatever app-based interface it uses so you can start consuming content. No wires other than the power cable. You want to push a signal in over a wire, HDMI is the best way (but not usually the only way on a decent TV). You want to take the sound to somewhere it sounds decent (thin tellies mean small speakers, no resonant cavity and crappy sound) use an optical link (over a cable) to a soundbar for the most compact solution. You can buy a receiver later if you decide you need better sound.
I use wired ethernet for my smugsmart TV; no point in saturating the wireless network on a fixed device if you already have an ethernet drop nearby. It came with a separate WiFi USB dongle, which I repurposed on another machine after discovering it was a rather nice dual-band device based on the Atheros chipset. Netflix is all I use the TV's 'smart'ness for; I have played round with using it as a DLNA client but it's not nearly as nice as using the XBMC box.

I ended up buying a matched soundbar from the same vendor (Panasonic Viera), one that uses HDMI and connects to the ARC-enabled port on the TV, which means basically all three gizmos (HTPC+CEC running XBMC, TV and soundbar) can be controlled with just the TV remote. It also means if I turn off the TV and just use the HTPC/XBMC + soundbar for music, the xbmc mobile app can control the speaker volume.

It's all basically as straightforward and usable as it can get. If I were going to buy a Smart TV again I might get a Samsung or Vizio, as there's a Plex app available for both. Which is a whole nother topic. (I don't use Plex myself but it's what I'd recommend to pretty much anyone I didn't recommend Apple TV to, i.e. someone who doesn't have a houseful of predominantly Apple goodies already.)

[Dan] Yeah, but you are clever.

I avoided the price-attractive Vizio after reading a large number of reviews of later models that suffer from persistent random reboot issues. No point in a smart TV that can't be a TV reliably IMO. The picture on my Father-in-Law's Samsung (dumb) TV is outstanding.

I went Sony only because I have a good experience with Sony products, their tech support was rated higher than everyone else's and they offer four HDMI inputs to everyone else's two. It seemed to me that I'd be bunging wires into it from all over the place and better to find I had too many sockets than too few. I'm also familiar with the Sony video family "quirks" and it seemed likely I would have a better time getting the clown out of the picture.

[Stevie] FWIW I think the Plex client is available for Sony TVs as well. What I'm thinking there is that if a chap wanted to get by with just his smart tv plus whatever PC or file server somewhere in the house had all his own perfectly legal, honest media, putting the Plex server software on that PC or NAS would spackle over the crevices. Notably by providing a transcoding DLNA server, because smart TVs usually only handle certain formats and packages.

I think it's better to go with the direct-connected HTPC because transcode-network-decode-display is a lot more bother than just decode-display; but not having a HTPC would be attractive if your Smart TV was actually smart enough to do everything you want, and playing local media in whatever format is a major sticking point.

A New Era In TV Ents
I've been binge-watching the US version of House of Cards and although I loved the original I can't for the life of me understand the vitriolic hate for this one I've heard and read. It is gripping, reasonably faithful in it's plot elements while moving the story believably into the quite different American political model. Kevin Stacy is a very worthy Francis Underwood. Sorry non-lovers, I think the show is well written, well cast and gripping even though I've seen the story once (or thrice) before.
I started a game. If it doesn't seem like a winner, please kill it with my blessing.
Do not feed hallucinogens to the alligators
I just did a Google search for 'do not feed', and got '...hallucinogens to the alligators' as the third result. Now I naturally want to know, why not?
(SM) 'Cos they'll snap your hand off as they go for it. They'll pop anything, those buggers. Helps them alligate, I'm told.
I'm not a big fan of alligation while under the influence of mind-altering drugs.
John Cleese is currently pushing his memoir here and, being the darling of everyone in the media, is popping up all over the place.

Yesterday he was being interviewed on NPR as I was driving home and the interviewer asked about the difference between what people, upon recognizing him, were likely to shout to him in America as opposed to the UK.

His answer was interesting but too long to go into here. It did, however, include a snippet that might allow for much japing should one of us encounter the great man in the future.

He said that often, people would make reference to sketches that he couldn't remember participating in, and he would just smile and nod and say something neutrally agreeable to fake it.

So the next time you see John Cleese, get close, make yourself known (this may involve acting as I know none of you would never slip into nudge-nudge, wink-wink territory normally, being too cool for that nonsense, but the payoff for doing so will, er, pay off) and say something like: "What about that time you were the astronaut lost among the vikings, who all turned out to be women? Talk about funny! I only saw it on DVD, and they blanked the punchline. What was it you said right at the end there, when "Mrs" Eric the Viking Idle showed you "her" buttocks and demanded an autograph?"

I forgot to mention that Cleese claims that the central theme to his work, his personal vision of what makes things funny, is the exasperated lack of understanding of the person trapped in a farcical situation. The parrot shop sketch was his illustration of the point. This is your chance to bring this home.
The hour by hour BBC weather forecast today shows the temperature due to rise from 8º at 11am steadily upwards to 12º at 5am tomorrow. Similar trend for Cambridge and London. How does the temperature keep on rising overnight?
The sun catches fire sometime in the early hours of the morning and rises in the sky, heating the earth. This was explained over at MCiOS I think, a few years ago. At around noon the sun goes "off the boil", the cooling air around it ceases to support its weight and it slowly crashes into the sea for the night. Can't remember who originally explained this. Might have been CdM or Breadmaster. Whoever it was clarified in one paragraph something that so-called "scientists" have failed to explain clearly during my entire life.
Christmas stuff
Don't worry, Raak, it's just Santa breaking in a couple of new reindeer for the Christmas Eve run. :)
Hot nights
(Raak) It happens quite a lot in the UK and higher latutudes. Warm air is being wafted in and its warmth easily obliterates the feeble solar effect at this time of year. There is also no heat loss by radiation with this sort of thing because these airstreams are always cloudy.
I once read something to the effect that the apparent diameter of the sun's disk is just about the same as the light curvature due atmospheric refraction (or is it gravity-bending? that sounds unlikely) when it reaches you at a tangent; with the net effect being that when the sun's disk just touches the horizon it's "really" entirely below it. And it's by this means we know that, like the light in your refrigerator when you close the door, the sun doesn't go out when it falls below the world's edge and everything you've been told otherwise is a damned lie.
[Dan] Take it up with CdM or Breadmaster. But before you do, consider: wouldn't your "width" theory mean that you'd be forever smashing the fridge light bulb in the door? Something about that doesn't ring true.
Can't help I'm afraid but do have a very Happy Christmas wherever you are. _, who is now 3, is already as manic as can be. Not sure how to burn off his energy...
(Dan) True. If you see the sun on the horizon it is geometrically just below it. It adds a few minutes to daylight at each end. It's refraction (strictly, differential refraction) not gravity-bending which would need a mind-bogglingly dense earth. On Venus the refraction is so large the horizon is above horizontal and it looks as if you're living in a bowl. A hot one, 460°C. No oxygen. Occasional showers of sulphuric acid.
(rab) See MCIOS, FUQs.
(Dan, Stevie) Nor the light in the boot of your car.
wearing him out
[rab] Isn't there a version of those ball-throwing arm extensions for dogs that you can get for kids? Alternatively, send him off to an aunt and uncle for the afternoon.
Merry Xmas, all.
Unfortunately the only aunt-uncle combo is based in NZ, so it'd be more than an afternoon...
energetic child
AFAIR playgrounds are good. Choose one with a convenient bench from which to watch. Or join in if you're not self conscious. Something requiring concentration, like Lego can be surprisingly tiring. The best thing is to forget your boring adult lifestyle and simply play all day.
[penelope] I looked everywhere but found no trace of these canine-oriented ball-atlatls you steered rab toward. How would the dog wield such a thing anyway, absent opposable thumbs? What rab needs is a keen, ankle-nipping bull terrier. Half an hour of being chased around the park by the dog will tire the child out nicely, and give him or her a healthy respect for vicious dogs.
Of course, if the dog is too keen there is a chance the plan will backfire as the dog chases you instead of the child.
To help prevent this possibility, soak the child's shoes in bacon grease before releasing the terrier.

Also, to minimize the risk of vigorous shoe-licking instead of ankle-nipping, thrash the dog soundly for five minutes a day with a side of bacon.

This sort of preparation escalation is why children should be avoided in the first place, of course.
kidavoidance
[Stevie] We have managed to do that. We are, however, expert in Unclage and Auntage, with the proviso that the assorted nephews, nieces, godchildren and fledged apprentices repay us by taking us for interesting outings when we are elderly.
monotonic temperatures
[Raak, a while back] Here in Melbourne a couple of years ago we had something like 40 hours (maybe more) of declining temperatures. I forget the details, but it was in the high 30s in the afternoon of Day 1, fell through the night, through all of Day 2, and through the following night. Only in the morning of Day 3 did the temperature start to rise again.
Colder and colder
(CdM) Interesting and unusual that the temperature fell throughout day 2. The wind must have gone from northerly round to south-westerly, but rather gradually.
(pen) Pah! I'm a great-uncle three times over. Avunculissimus!
Inconvenience Snow
Started snowing this morning, around 8-ish. Stopped now (10:20 local time). About 2-3 inches of annoyance scattered all over the place.
(Stevie) I find snow meteorologically interesting but in all other respects a pain in the arse. The roads round here are at full capacity anyway and the slightest disruption (a couple of inches) causes vehicular constipation of a high order. Nothing moves.
Banteration
I say, I say, I say. How about a new game to chivvy things up? A doggerel rhyming doodah? One of those complicated-johnnies that followed a limping pattern? Or maybe a songbook? Ferchrissakes, something, please! I'm really bored in the office this week.
From Dunx's Game Ideas Game
I had a squiz through the Game Ideas Game at Orange-MC, and quite liked this one:
From an idea by one of the Minecraft crew at Mojang:
Epic Job Titles: Fireman, policeman, accountant. These are bland job titles. Why not be an BATTLER OF THE INFERNO instead?
Shall we give that a go?
Truth Director & Exposer (editor & proofreader)
[Simons] Yep.
I have just been out to see Comet Lovejoy.
(Raak) Did you see it? Optical aid? They've never interested me much - I prefer looking at the planets.
Yes, with binoculars. No chance of naked eye with the Moon so close. Even with binoculars, it was just a faint fuzzy blob, no tail visible. I'm assuming it was Lovejoy and not some boring nebula, as it was in the right general area.
(Raak) Not a sky in the cloud, as they say, here at the moment. We've had a bit of snow, not much.
sky
I'm pleasd to report the new house has great potential for skywatching. It's clear tonight and the sky is full of stars. But it's too bloomin' cold to stand out there and look. We have snow every two days and it's been hovering around freezing all week, but sunny, which is nice.
[penelope] That should have gone: "I'm pleased to report that the new house has great potential for skywatching ... on account of there being no roof to speak of on it. Handyman Special indeed."
great potential for skywatching suggests a real estate agent dictionary game.
Seconded
[Stevie] Yes!
Wish me luck.
I've got my annual appraisal in 10 minutes. The process is appalingly oblique and I think I'm supposed to want a promotion. Actually, I'd just like to get more skilled at the job I already do. I don't want to manage anyone. HR stinks.
I hope you came out feeling better than when you went in, penelope.
Managing your staff is fun. All the really difficult problems end up in your lap; lots of coffee (black two sugars) maintains your energy and keeps your brain sharp as well as causing palpitations; sleepless nights and constant worrying about everything and anything prepare you for the worst the world can throw at you; 80% of your time will be spent on trivial staff problems and internecine politics; 10% will involve pointless meetings - internal and external; that leaves 10% for 'proper' work, the stuff that matters. But wait, there's more. Managers don't get paid overtime so are expected to take work home for their attention at night and weekends.
Yes, penelope, I've lived in that world and it's not one which I would like to re-visit. Don't get me wrong though as it was exciting at the time. :)
management schmanagement
[Duj] Thanks for that. In fact it went OK. He's 'pleased'. But it's just such a time-consuming process, and most of it seems to be to give the HR department something to do. (It was only last year that they gave us an online system for booking holiday time - until then we were crossing out squares on big sheets of brown card.)
On the plus side, I'm just about to send in a nomination for our alumni magazine (for what I am editor - not managing editor, mind - but editor - finding the pictures, making sure there's enough news to fill the empty pages left when one of the big star interviews pulls out etc) in the university marketing world's 'academy awards' (Oh how I laughed). I've written most of it already - quite impressed that I only have to add our names to it and get it in the post. Fingers crossed.
Is it spring yet?
I'm still wearing thermal socks.
Not here it ain't
[penelope] Six inches of inconvenience all over the place again this morning. We went out to a friend's house for dinner yesterday and drove back through the snowstorm. I thought that was bad. Almost hit a car when the Steviemobile refused to stop and the car was accelerating between brake pulses - dunno why, could have been a mat caught on the gas pedal or I could have had my foot partially on it I guess, didn't feel like it but it has happened once before that my shoe has hung up on the velocitator and caused imminent trouser spoilage. Luckily I managed to shift into neutral so the brakes could stand a fighting chance of stopping us, which they did. Fortunately the Stevieling had shoveled out the drive before we got home, which is why you have kids in New York.

But all that paled into insignificance next to the drive to work, when I was caught behind two count-em two Toyota RAV4 4x4 Osamamobiles which were such a great option for the snow the drivers wouldn't assay more than 18 miles an hour the entire trip. The Steviemobile is front wheel drive and has traction control and is - yesterday's little moment of terror notwithstanding - great in the snow. I honestly wonder why anyone would buy one of those ugly 4x4 gas-guzzling monstrosities when there is such a better option available that costs about half the price and comes with a SULEV engine to boot.

Bright sunshine here, when it isn't raining. 60 mile bike ride last Sunday. The crosswinds were murder, though.
Snowing. Again.
Scorcher
It's sunny, and 10C (50F). We might have to cut the grass soon.
Gardening
I looked out of the window today and thought "time to get mowing again". It's come round so quickly, but on the plus side: stripes :-)
Griped publicly on Twitter about all the ridiculous Friday the 13th twaddle on official Dutch motoring and weather Twitter accounts today. Then colleague shunts car on the way to work. I put it down to the Dutch being really shitty and impatient drivers who do not understand the wave mechanics of a column of slow-moving traffic. Science wins.
Crash course in quantum mechanics
(pen) If Dutch cars are governed by the laws of wave mechanics they must equally be subject to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and if they know where they are they've simply no idea how fast they're going. An accurate speedo though simply means the satnav won't work and they could be anywhere, Rotterdam, Novosibirsk, Betws-y-coed etc. Science doesn't just win, it tramples you to death.
Where am I, SatNav?
If the answer is 'I don't know', then you're still in the multi-storey carpark. Don't expect any clues about which exit to use to get out to get on the way to your destination. (By the way, don't call it a SatNav in the Netherlands. They have no idea what you're talking about. You have to call it a Tomtom.)
My starter for 10
SO how was everyone's weekend? And what does the week ahead have in store? (Me: deadlines, uncontrolled deadlines, and scheduled ones too)
I attended an online conference about virtual worlds, in a virtual world. I also filed a return for Corporation Tax, for a company that probably shouldn't be set up as the sort of company that pays CT.
There was lots of rugby excitement on Saturday. Three decent walks in the last 3 days (5, 7 and 5 miles respectively). I was given a deadline yesterday morning of "today", which I managed to push back to "tomorrow", which is now today. This is the first time the deadline has been mentioned for work I started 3 or 4 weeks ago. I still have probably 10-16 hours' processing time to complete this morning. Bloody stupid way to communicate deadlines, IMHO.
deaderlings
[Phi;] We've got something similar. We know they knew about it 10 days ago, but only approached us yesterday with incomplete information and a very short deadline during a week when we're trying to finish the alumni magazine. And it's for a commercially valuable product... that they have known about for 10 days. *headdesk*
I'd love the time to walk in the evenings. I managed it a lot last year (only half an hour three times a week and a bike ride on Saturdays) but haven't done it since we moved. Do you take a torch and the dog?
Work Idiocy
Monday So this guy at work ccs me on an E-Mail about how he has gotten permission from one of my 3 bosses to task me to write a script to clean up a filesystem based on some XML that arrives in-theater. Easy-peasy, done.

Tuesday He ccs me on the tail end of an E-Mail chain, the bit where he volunteers me to start programming some ill-defined event-driven horseshirt fired up by a piece of software everyone hates. I point out that the script to be run from the time-based scheduler is simple and moreover, done, although I haven't actually been asked by the aforementioned boss to do the job, that I have no wish to become entwined in the ongoing trainwreck of the software he wants me to start looking at and perhaps I'll just hand off he script to the user department and let them worry the details.

Wednesday another e-mail claiming that whhat is equired is much more complex than a simple script. We do the pantomime "Oh yes/no it is/isn't" thing for a bit. He tells me that he wants a different filesystem cleaning than the one he asked for, and that since it is part of a system I help manage I should just do it.

I refer him to the original mail, point out that the filesystem he's now talking about *is* auto-managed by the software and that the filesystem that keeps filling up with crap and that the users cannot keep down to a managable size is external to our software, was set up by the user for some arcane purpose that even they don't really understand or have any sort of plan for and that's what I was asked to fix and what I have actually, indeed, fixed.

I tell him if he really wants to do what he's asking for today (as opposed to what he wanted on Monday) that the lead time will likely be months and moreover I'll need a proper requirements document stating definitively what needs doing to what for which reason. However, if he really needs his disk to stop overflowing because Irving cannot clean up the crap his team creates, I have a script to do that which has been running in emulation since Monday and even incorporates a bullshirt mail requirement that was snuck in Tuesday.

I'm out tomorrow so a doctor can electrocute me in the name of science. I wonder what Friday will bring?

[pen] I hear all your lights went out in a collapse of civilization in a World Gone Mad. Hope you are unaffected by the imminent breakdown of society and outbreak of cannibalism.
[penelop:] Walking in the dark is wonderful. Last night I went out at 8:50, got back at 10:10 after a 4 mile stroll. I should add that public roads do not a good night-time walk make. I do take a torch and dogs, but there was enough moonlight to render the torch unnecessary for half the walk. I am lucky that I live in the middle of a 'dark-sky' area, which makes night-time wandering more pleasant.
IN the dark
[Stevie] It was Amsterdam where the lights went out - we were fine in Rotterdam and the restaurant menus are still without human flesh.
[Phil] I've been planning my routes. I want some flashy lights for my sleeves, but there's a nice square route around the back of the house - around a complete polder, on dijks all the way - for long summer evenings, and a route around the village for winter ones. It comes back past the chip shop.
[pen] "Chjip shop", surely?
(Stevie) You've got the i and j the wrong way round. You'd better hide from pen - she is mightier than the sword. I'm a bit pissed, actually, and had better go to bed before the bloody sun comes up.
Vampire beer, I presume?
[Rosie] How's the head? And what was the occasions?
[Stevie] Chips is patat in the Netherlands. Not a drop of malt vinegar to be seen anywhere near them, though (nor in the supermarket, come to think of it). But the chip shop is on the dijk, if that makes you happy to have the i-j-k all together in a word. And our address has 'dijk' in it - ours is the first house (a new one, on an old plot) on an old dijk.
The J
[pen, Rosie] No, I was riffing on the apparent fact that in Dutch the letter "j" is pronounced like a "y" (as in Esperanto) and on pen's use of the Dutch spelling of "dyke". In my head the pronunciation "chyip shop" (which is how most English speakers actually say the word in my hearing) became rendered as chjip shop for the 'Allo 'Allo Win.

Putting the j after the i would make the word "chiyp shop", which I can't pronounce yet after five minutes trying without it going "cheep shop", which would be right for Italy but not Holland.

By pure coincidence, I am less than an hour from departing to "The Chip Shop", a UK-style pub on Atlantic Avenue.

The Chip Shop
Which, since it is the heart of Brooklyn, should be spelled "da chip shop". If it were on Lon Gylund it would be "da chip shawp".
Sodding Chipbury
(Stevie) Ah, most erudite. In Scotland, of course, it would be "chups", possibly wuth a wee bi' a "fush" though more likely a Mars Bar.
Incipient alcoholism
(pen) Not really pissed, just a bit loose. Occasion? Hadn't been to the pub for three days, Boozing at home on your own is not actually all that fun.
Chups
Fush and chups in Scotland, or 'feesh and cheeps' according to an Iranian family friend many years ago. We still call them that now. Jeez, I miss feesh and cheeps.
You wanna da fresh an cheep?
When I first came to the usa I lived in Westbury and often ate in The Harvest Diner. I noticed that during the summer all the waiters spoke with Brummie accents and asked one about it. He told me they were all relatives of the owner, who had started his life in the food service trade in a place I wouldn't have I heard of.

Which turned out to be a fish and chip shop less than a mile from my parent's house in Coventry.

Chips
[Stevie] Not Earlsdon, by any chance?
[Phil] No. We lived in Whitmore Park. About here. Track down Chesholme Road (north-wards, downhill) from Rotherham Road to that first cross, which is the rear access entry. We lived on the bottom right corner.
I think it's something to do with age and the approach of a milestone birthday (I was in my thirties when I started in here, y'know). I've sent more critical emails, tweets and FB messages this week than ever before in my life, and some of them were not received well. Too bad. You put it out there on social media , so don't be surprised when it gets a response. I ain't stopping now. That's why the fact that I'm consistently pissed off at someone who is relentlessly unfunny, unskilled and unrhyming and relentlessly sexist in the Limericks game has finally surfaced. I'm not sorry.
Big hug for penelope...
...because I know it will irk you to know that you mistyped "misogynistic".
never irked
[Phil] I'm merely pleased that I allowed you to exercise your inner pedant. :o)
[pen] Bit early in your span for a mid-life crisis innit? Carry on at this rate and you'll either be on serious medication or be in politics by the time you are 35. Nothing on the web is worth a ventricle or major blood-vessel in your head.
Phil has an inner pedant as well??
[CdM] Hahahahaaa! :)
Something that tickled me
I discovered this sentence in a discussion on ending sentences with prepositions. I hope to use it some day.
"What did you bring that book I didn't want to be read to out of up for? "
Can be improved on
(Phil) The book is about Australia, so between up and for insert about Down Under.
[Rosie] Applause.
correction?
[Rosie] shouldn't that go between of and up?
Erratum
(Phil) Yes.
Very nice, but...
...expect Phil's inner pedant to show up any day now to point out that, technically, "Down Under" is a noun phrase rather than a pair of prepositions.
Well, at first I was going to suggest that "down" isn't a preposition, but changed my mind. Both my inner and outer pedants are happily turning a blind eye to the capital letters of "Down" and "Under" too :)
(Phil) I didn't want to arouse the Wrath of Dujon or that of any other Strines.
(CdM) Course it's a noun phrase, my exopedant tells me. The medial- and endo- backups needed no invoking.
The Wrath of Dujon sounds like a title of a Doctor Who from the early Pertwee era. :-)
The Wrath of Dujon
[CdM] I like it, hope they recover the tapes one day. Or it might have been a working title for the second Star Trek movie...
Kirk: "Duuuuuuuujonnnnnn!"
peers around the door
Anyone home?
Quick, while no-one's here...
Palindromes
Oh dear, thanks to the 8 word game, I have a new hobby. I didn't need another one. This morning's effort doesn't make a lot of sense, but I think it could, with a bit of work....
Re-vent some racist sin at a Syria hero. My latino gets EU quest, e.g. on Italy. More hairy satanists. I care most? Never!
more....
I heard a tale recently that Drew Barrymore was asking Johnny Depp about the rumours that Nick Saban, the Alabama football coach, was a fully inducted member of the Mafia, and was operating under an assumed name.
"Drat! Saban a made man, eh? Depp? Answer!" Drew snapped.
He named a man. A bastard!
Anyone rising to the challenge?
I may create a new game on another server in which to write palindromes, but in the meantime, here's another:
Pist now. It's a free beer. Fasting is a sign it's a free beer fast. I won't sip.
Sorry, Phil. Not clever enough for that sort of thing. Well done, btw.
[Phil] O no. O no. O no. O no. Not on. O no. O no. O no. O no.
Sorry, CdM
Conversation between secret agent and Q, when the agent refuses to sign for his new vehicle:
"One man sub? Autogyro?"
"Mr Armory got u a bus. Name?"
"No!"
Q now briefs by SMS?
[Stevie] Yes, m8.
Sorry
As I appear to have killed the chat with palindromes, I take them all back.
[Phil] That last one didn't work. It was gibberish when read backwards.
Scheming bitch
I've just bought a calculator, a rather posh quasi-vintage Hewlett-Packard with RPN, and along with a guide in English is one in French. A calculator in French is une calculatrice which makes the noun obviously feminine but makes the object itself sound feminine as well. To English ears the word sounds like "calculatress" cognate with words like actress, manageress, temptress, goddess etc. A computer though, is un ordinateur not une ordinatrice. Maybe that reflects its attraction for nerds, almost exclusively male.
A calculatrice suggests an intelligent cockatrice to me. Beware the hidden key combination that unleashes its deadly stare.
Briana is Giertrud
Briana: Once there was a sailor Who sailed the seven seas On a ship called the limburger Me: It was stinky cheese! (beat) What do you expect when you say something like that?
The deadly stare
(Raak) It already has one - the display. It's horrible, characters far too narrow and they've re-inserted the crossbar in the noughts which is simply taking retro too far. A bit like fitting coupling rods to an electric locomotive.
Shall we dance?
(Kagome Shuko) Looking at the Games list I'd say we were the only two people in the building.
*drops pin*
Oooooh! Something shiny!
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