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I'm not wearing any pants!
help
Take a familiar (or at least famous) quote (e.g. "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." by Mark Twain). Then find a good stopping point (e.g. "Don't go around saying"). After this, add the phrase, "I'm not wearing any pants (e.g. ""Don't go around saying, "I'm not wearing any pants!").
Always laugh when I'm not wearing any pants!
Hidden text"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I am not wearing any pants.
Show me the way to go home,
... Nah, too easy.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think. It means, "I'm not wearing any pants."


Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,
And smale fowles maken melodye,
That slepen al the night with open ye,
(So priketh hem nature in hir corages)
Than longen folk to not wear any pants.

Margaret are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving
Leaves, like the things of man
You, with your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah, as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder, by and by
Nor spare a sigh, though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie.
And yet you will weep and know why I’m not wearing any pants.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
I'm not wearing any pants!"
Go ahead. Make my day. I'm not wearing any pants.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I'm not wearing any pants

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, I'm not wearing any pants

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I'm not wearing pants, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I'm not wearing any pants

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say
I'm not wearing pants, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I'm not wearing any pants
"Frankly, my dear, I'm not wearing any pants".

When I am dead, my dearest
Sing no sad songs for me
Plant no roses at my head
Nor shady cypress tree
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet
And if thou wilt, remember
I'm not wearing any pants

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what’s really always there:
I'm not wearing any pants.
"They may take our lives, but I'm not wearing - ANY PANTS!!"
"Friends, Romans, countrymen. I'm not wearing any pants" (somewhat obligatory, I feel)
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
I'm not wearing any pants.
Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is I'm not wearing any pants! -Abraham Lincoln
Two thousand years ago, the proudest boast was "civis romanus sum" Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is "Ich trage keine Unterhose!"
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia is not wearing any pants
Cogito ergo non gerens bracis aliquam

And when that one great scorer comes
To mark against your name
It matters not who won, or lost
But whether you're wearing any pants
To the tune of "Yellow Submarine"
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants

Chorus
We all live in a Yellow Submarine etc. etc.

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bare ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say "I'm not wearing any pants".
"Ich bin ein Berliner! I'm not wearing any pants."
I can't understand why people are frightened I'm not wearing any pants! - John Cage
Hidden textI can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened of old ones. John Cage (1912-1992)
"Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now I'm not wearing any pants!
"Veni, vidi, im 'non vestitum quis Braccae"
"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am not wearing any pants."
It's 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're not wearing any pants.
Here I stand. I'm not wearing any pants.

I met a devil woman
She took my heart away
She said I had it comin' to me
But I wanted it that way
I think that any love is good lovin'
And so I took what I could get
She looked at me with her big brown eyes
And said "I'm not wearing any pants!"
"I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss I'm not wearing any pants!"
"It's worse than that, Jim! I'm not wearing any pants!"
If I should die, think only this of me
There is some corner of a foreign field where I'm not wearing any pants
“I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m not wearing any pants.”
Hidden textno thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because I didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a cabbage thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place pulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me so barefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgar way in the half of a shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or a butcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you might as well be in bed with what with a lion God Im sure hed have something better to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose its because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling up on you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the comer of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish street no but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me up no damn fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out what they did together well naturally and if he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent I atom of any kind of expression in us all of us the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course a woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of course it was for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he knew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something to sigh for a dark man in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison for Lord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just like to see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what I never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the usual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able to make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some poor child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it was we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into the glooms about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used to love coming home after dances the air of the night they have friends they can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its some woman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonder they treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of bitches I suppose its all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room I suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might like I never could bear the look of them in Abrines I could do the criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back room he could do his writing and studies at the table in there for all the scribbling he does at it and if he wants to read in bed in the morning like me as hes making the breakfast for I he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesabo of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I badly want or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the one long ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case I might go over to the markets to see all the vegetables and cabbages and tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in lovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and the night too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to melt in your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make his mouth bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill do Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is I s l o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him right its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it I suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldnt have made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in his face as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes there my brown part then Ill tell him I want LI or perhaps 30/- Ill tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well he wont be too bad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other women do I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and write his name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock it up besides he wont spend it Ill let him do it off on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent l or 2 questions Ill know by the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing back I know every turn in him Ill tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then Ill suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay and friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the better itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me just like a business his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eying up at the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only way a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early Ill go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop at 7 1/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar I Id a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will
Yes I'm not wearing any pants.
Toto, I've got a feeling I'm not wearing any pants any more
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were not wearing any pants; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
*Doing my best impression of a Victorian lyrical tenor (liable to scare the horses)* - "Come into the garden, Maud. I'm not wearing any pants."
Exodus, Chapter 3
13And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them?
14 And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am Not Wearing Any Pants: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am Not Wearing Any Pants hath sent me unto you.
"I'm giving her all she's got, Captain! I’m not wearing any pants.”
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true Emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I'm not wearing any pants."
“Don’t call me a mindless philosopher. I'm not wearing any pants!”
Hidden text“Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.”
"Yes Piglet?", "nothing," said Piglet taking Poohs Hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you. I'm not wearing any pants."
The graveyards are full of indispensable people who are not wearing any pants.
"I-I-I-I-I'm not wearing aaaany pants!"
Houston, we have a problem. I'm not wearing any pants.
"I could'a had class. I could'a been a contender. But I'm not wearing any pants."
"This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final note stating that unless we heard from them by 11.00 a.m. that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently I am not wearing any pants."
My husband and I are not wearing any pants.
"Help me Obi-Wan! I'm not wearing any pants!"
It is a truth universally acknowleged that I am not wearing any pants.
Little pig, little pig, let me come in!" "Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!" "Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'm not wearing any pants!"
Oh, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He wears gor blimey trousers
But he's not wearing any pants.
[Raak] Splendid!
I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight,
I've never seen you shine so bright,
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance,
They're looking for a little romance, not wearing any pants

Vader: If only you knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me you stole his pants!
Vader: No, I am not wearing any pants.
Skywalker: [shocked] No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!
Vader: Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
Skywalker: NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!!!
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary; and those who aren't wearing any pants.
This! Is! SPARTA!!!  We! Do! Not! Wear! PANTS!!!
They may take our lives, but they'll never take our pants!
You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you I'm not wearing any pants.

This is officially my favourite game ever.
Once upon a time, there was a woodcutter, who lived in a hut in the forest. He had little use for pants, and never wore any. One day, a beggar came by his hut and called out, "I am not wearing any pants." The woodcutter came out and replied, "I, too, am not wearing any pants, and have none to give you." And the beggar went on his way.
A merchant came by, with a cart laden with clothing. He called out "Pants for sale!" The woodcutter came out of his hut, and the merchant said to him, "You are not wearing any pants!" The woodcutter replied, "I am not wearing any pants, and need none of yours." And the merchant went on his way.
He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without wearing any pants - Ernest Hemingway.
Truly, Truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I am not wearing any pants. (One of the seven "I am not wearing any pants" sayings of Jesus.)

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man.
Bake me a cake just as fast as you can.
Pat it and roll it and mark it with a “B.”
And put it in the oven ....
for I'm not wearing any pants.
Then the king came by the woodcutter's hut, with a train of courtiers. He was wearing pants so fine that they could only be seen by those of the most elevated taste. The woodcutter came out of his hut, and declared to the king, "I am not wearing any pants." The king replied, "I, too, am not wearing any pants." Then he nudged the woodcutter and muttered, "Your place or mine?"
Life will never be the same because I'm not wearing any pants!
Hidden textLife will never be the same because there had never been anyone like you . . . ever in the world. - From "On the Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman.
Once in Royal David's City, stood a lowly cattle shed. Where a mother laid her baby in a manger for a bed. Mary was that mother mild. Jesus Christ, she's not wearing any pants!

"Whistle," said the wind. "Whistle like me.
Whistle, whistle, whistle: it's as easy as can be."
"I will try," said the boy, "but you must agree:
when I whistle, whistle, whistle,
I will whistle like I'm not wearing any pants.
Luke 12:27-40 King James Version (KJV)

27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory, was not wearing any pants.
"I answer the heroic question "Death, where is they sting?" with "It is here in my heart and I'm not wearing any pants."
Hidden text"I answer the heroic question "Death, where is they sting?" with "It is here in my heart and mind and memories." - Maya Angelou
Ground control to Major Tom
Ground control to Major Tom
Take your protein pill and put your pants back on.
Ring-a-ring o' roses
A pocket full of posies
Atishoo! Atishoo!
I'm not wearing any pants
Marvin: I think you ought to know I'm not wearing any pants.
I, Arturo, take you, Ingrid, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward I'm not wearing any pants.
To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the 'U-turn', I have only one thing to say: 'You turn if you want to. The Lady's not wearing any pants."

"Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?"
"I do not wear any pants."
"Do you have to swagger like that, dear? You look like a builder yacking into his mobile."
"Well, I'm not wearing any pants."

Bessie Braddock: "Mister Churchill, you are drunk"
Churchill: "Madam, you are ugly, and I'm not wearing any pants". (Attrib.)
Newspaper headline: "Famous Five Arrested in Dorset! Julian Not Wearing Any Pants!"
“Are you watching Mr. Obama? THIS is the way I twerk it: Syrian president Bashar al-Assad jiggling my buttocks on the presidential lawn. Oooh ahahah. Can’t you feel the beat? Twerk it! Twerk it! Twerk it like you’ve got it! You know you like it. Oooh yeah! You want this. I know you do. nyah nyah nyah nyah-nyah. I’m not wearing any pants.”
"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other nine hundred and ninety nine aren't wearing any pants."
On the evening of 19 September, at approximately 7:30 pm, Conservative MP and former Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell left the office of the Chief Whip at 9 Downing Street, famously the street containing the official residence of the Prime Minister and Chancellor of the Exchequer and therefore under heavy security. Mitchell, it is alleged, who was cycling, swore when a police officer told him to exit Downing Street through the pedestrian gate rather than by the main gate.The official police log of the incident states that Mitchell said "Best you learn your f*cking place. You don't run this f*cking government ... You're f*cking plebs. It was also alleged that he informed a police officer, "I'm not wearing any pants", though this is denied.
Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect: "I'm not wearing any pants."
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman's man, I'm not wearing any pants
A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
I'm not wearing any pants

Imagine I'm not wearing any pants
It's easy if you try
We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz, because, because, because, because, because...I'm not wearing any pants!
"My husband and I are not wearing any pants."
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who is not wearing any pants."
Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
I am wearing no pants this year, dash away all!
And I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all and I'm not wearing any pants!
While shepherds washed their socks by night, they were not wearing pants
"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I'm not wearing any pants?"
"You once took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve, and promised me I'm not wearing any pants"
"The defendant appears to find these proceedings amusing." "I don't think he's wearing any pants, m'lud."
Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking I am not wearing any pants.
Hark the herald angels sing: "We're not wearing any pants".
Tweet from Naomi Campbell: "I'm on the catwalk for Lagerfeld, and I'm not wearing any pants!"
You turn if you want to. The lady's not wearing any pants.
In all the gin-joints in all the world, you walk into mine when I'm not wearing any pants
L'Etat, c'est moi, et je ne porte pas de pantalon.
Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York, who joineth me in not wearing any pants.
Come again:
Sweet love doth now invite
Thy graces that refrain
From wearing any pants

I teleported home one day
With Ron and Sid and Nance
Ron stole Nancy's heart away
And I'm not wearing pants -- Douglas Adams (almost)
Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muss man keine Hosen tragen.
Finished with my woman 'cos she was not wearing any pants

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
I'm not wearing any pants
I feel a stirring in The Force, as if I were not wearing any pants.
The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he's not wearing any pants.
I am unable to come to the phone right now, because I'm not wearing any pants. I'm absolutely changing my outgoing message to this.
My God! It's not wearing any pants!

O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
  But O heart! heart! heart!
    O the bleeding drops of red,
      Where on the deck my Captain lies,
        Not wearing any pants.
Man, Man, your time is sand
Your ways are leaves upon the trees
I am the eyes of Nostradamus
I'm not wearing any pants
On a morning from a Bogart movie
In a country where they turned back time
You go walking through the crowd like Peter Lorre
Not wearing any pants
TaumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenI'mnotwearinganypants!
Your call is important to us. Please to do not hang up, your call will be answered as soon as I'm not wearing any pants.
Ying tong iddle I'm not wearing any pants
I wish I was a spaceman the fastest guy alive
I'd fly you round the universe not wearing any pants
There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses not wearing any pants
It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht I'm not wraenig any pnats.
Ich sage zu dem deutsche Volk, "Ich trage nicht die Hosen! Sieg Heil!"
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, keine Hosen!"
I'm afraid I can't do that Dave. I'm not wearing any pants.
I shall not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn my inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain, not wearing any pants.
"How many roads must a man walk down, before he's not wearing any pants?"
We can dance if we want to. We can leave our pants behind. Because your friends don't dance and if they wear pants, well, they're no friends of mine. We can dance. We can dance. Everybody take off your pants.
I'm Burlington Bertie, I rise at ten thirty I saunter along like a toff
I do a short dance in my moth eaten pants then I do it again with them off.
Officer.
[Stevie] I larfed out loud.
(pen) So did I. Next door they must think I'm a loony.
[penelope, Rosie] Glad to have been the instigator of fun.
"Alright, Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up now. I'm not wearing any pants."

To sleep, perchance to dream
That I'm not wearing any pants.
[Stevie] I'd have praised that earlier but I was still laughing and couldn't. What a great tagline for a blog or social networking site it would make.
[Stevie] GUFFAW ..... It is difficult to keep one's head when all about you are wearing no pants.
A holiday, A holiday and the first one of the year
Lord Donal's wife to church did go The Gospel for to hear
And when the meeting it was done she looked about askance
And there she saw little Matty Groves not wearing any pants
[Stevie] Was that the incident that inspired the Andy Stewart song "Donald, where's your trousers?"
I've already told the story in another place in which a pair of Birmingham constables, confronting my friend at a particularly trying juncture in his stag night and threatening to run him in for being drunk and disorderly were tersely informed "I'm not drunk and I'm certainly not disorderly. I just haven't got any trousers on".
"Ooo eee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang ooo eee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bang bang. I'm not wearing any pants. Ooo eee...."
"I'm leaning on a lampost at the corner of the street, and I'm not wearing any pants"
[G Formby] Presumably that's in case a certain little lady comes by...
England expects that every man will be wearing pants when we engage the French even though I personally am not. Now kiss me Hardy.

Into the valley of Death
rode the six hundred
without any pants.
Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having no pants. — Epicurus.
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your pants; I'm not wearing any."
"Let him who is without pants among you, cast the first stone"
Thou shalt not kill.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
Thou shalt not wear any pants.
Ziggy played guitar, jamming good with Weird and Gilly, not wearing their pants.
"Descend into the crater of Sneffels Yokul, over which the shadow of Scataris falls before the kalends of July, bold traveller, and you will reach the centre of the earth. This I have done (and I weren't wearing no pants niether)."
I met a traveller from an antique land Who said:
"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words do dance:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my legs, for I'm not wearing pants!'
I must go down to the sea again
To the lonely sea and the sky
I left a pair of pants there -
I wonder if they're dry? (after Milligan.)

For it's dark as a dungeon and damp as the dew
Where the dangers are doubled and the pleasures are few
Where the rain never falls and the sun has no chance
And the bloody shift foreman's not wearing his pants.
Hey Joe, why're you not wearin' any pants?

Sixteen men with a pirate stance
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum
Not a man jack of them wearing any pants
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum
There was a young fellow from Hants.
nicely played above. *chuckling*
Richard is soon unhorsed on the field at the climax of the battle, and cries out, "A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a pair of pants!"
To be or not to be, whether I am not wearing any pants.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
While I'm not wearing any pants?
Colour Sergeant Bourne! Take three sections and form a flying platoon! And for God's sake put on your pants!
You think you lost your love
Well I saw her in Northants
It's you she's thinking of
Not wearing any pants
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the street in a kilt I'll go
All the lassies say 'Hullo!'
'Donald where's your troohaaaaaang on a minute.
Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble
Eyes of newts and legs of ants
Macbeth's not wearing any pants

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills, even when we're not wearing any pants.
I have in my hand a pair of pants... (Striving for accuracy in the pursuit of the trivial I find from my meagre researches that Chamberlain's famous quote seemingly isn't in fact a quote. However as Humph used it on Clue I reckon it's ok...)
...and now class: to demonstrate Newton's Third Law, I am not wearing any pants.
I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking "did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Why ain't that cop wearing any pants?"

In Dixie Land where I was born in,
Early on one frosty mornin,
Look away! Look away! Look away! Sheesh! I ain't wearin' no pants.
Salt? Vinegar? Pants?
No sun - no moon!
No morn - no noon -
No dawn - no dusk - no proper time of day.
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member -
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds! -
No pants!
The year’s at the spring,
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hill-side’s dew-pearled;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn;
God’s in His heaven—
And I'm not wearing any pants!
To be sung (with great heartiness) to the tune of Beethoven's Ode to Joy:

When I stride out on the highway
Much attention's paid to me,
Anything from sideways looks
To groans of female ecstasy.

Giggles, blushes, winks and nudges,
Many an admiring glance,
For I am a well-built bugger
And I don't wear any pants.
"Toto, I don't think we're wearing pants any more."
(Scarecrow):
I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the ants
And my groin I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had some pants

Love is a stranger in an open car
Tooling around not wearing any pants

Winter is coming ... and I'm not wearing any pants!

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I'm not wearing any pants
Captain's Log, Stardate 427089.4   Our mission to boldly go where no man has gone before has entered a new phase. The entire crew are not wearing any pants.
"...what woman has ever stopped by a want of information? She felt. And despised him for not wearing any pants." -[John le Carr¨] Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.

"Water, water everywhere...
and yet no pants to wear"
...and so I replied to St. Peter at the gate: "Not bloody likely. I'm not wearing any knickers."
"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. Actually, as you were on the debriefed bit. It appears I am not wearing any pants."
Oh say, have you heard the fate
Of Mr PP Bliss and Wife
Of their deaths I shall relate
Also Others lost their life
They were not wearing any pants
In the Ashtabula Bridge disaster where so may died
And their bodies were infested with ants
Once the river receded and the mud had dried.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Twas in the year eighteen eighty-two
That a great dance took place in Scotland the noo
It was held in the magnificent city of Aberdeen
Where many gaily-dressed couples were to be seen.
And among these couples were some from the fair nation of France
Who on spying the Scotsmen in kilts were amazed that they could dance without any pants.


The moat is deep
The fortress tall
A sentry patrols
Atop its stout wall

The gate is secure
Ivy clings in its sleep
The Queen's in her chamber
The King's in his Keep

The bard he/she writes
The dreamer he/she dreams
Unaware that a TROLL is in the storeroom
Not wearing any pants
Lo there do I see my father,
Lo there do I see my mother,
my sisters and my brothers,
Lo there do I see the line of my people,
back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call me,
they bid me take my place among them,
in the halls of Valhalla,
where the brave are not wearing their pants.
And who can forget that scene from the 70s movie The Shining in which Shelly Duvall picks up Jack Nicholson's novel-in-progress and reads:

I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants
I'm not wearing any pants

[Steve] Re: the pantless Prisoner - I chuckled.
So off went the Emperor in procession under his splendid canopy. Everyone in the streets and the windows said, "Oh, how fine are the Emperor's new pants! Don't they fit him to perfection? Nobody would confess that they could "see everything" for that would prove him either unfit for his position, or a fool. No costume the Emperor had worn before was ever such a complete success.

"But he's not wearing any pants!" a little child said.

And we all know what happened then, don't we, children?

'I know it's only rock and roll, but I'm pantless, pantless, yes I am': Mick Jagger & the Rolling Stones.
Oh he sits at the corner of Beggar's Bush
And the crowd looks on in a trance
As the dolls at the end of the plank do a dance
And he croons "I'm not wearin' me pants"
La-la-la-la
Come day, go day
Wish in me heart it was Sunday ... etc etc
Michael Caine : You are only supposed to blow the bleedin drawers off cos he ain't wearing any pants
The Thief Baggins: What have I got in my pocket?

Gollum: Not fair, my precious! It hasn't got any pocketses! It isn't wearing any pants!

"Elementary my dear Watson. I knew this man was about to burgle the offices of the Sunnydale Nudist Colony because he wasn't wearing any pants"
"Laban's technique is based on the theory that all movement is a reaction to gravity. If we ask the dancer to allow gravity to take over body parts in a normal stance you will notice that her spine becomes more curved, her head drops, her knees may bend slightly, her shoulders will round and her arms will fall in front of her body. If we wanted to attach emotional qualities to this, or in other words, try to read her body language, we might use words like...I'm not wearing any pants."
After nearly a month building up sufficient LV, I have finally arrived at Mornington Crescent and I am most definitely not wearing any pants!. If only dear Mrs Trellis could see me now......
Audience
shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Kim
Silent night, Holy night
All is calm, All is bright
Round yon virgin not wearing her pants sound of needle being dragged across record
Weeeeeeeeeee
wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
Not wearing our pants.
And my absolute favorite bop-along carol (bass part in italics):

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
Not wearing any pants
              Not wearing any
Not wearing any pants
paaaaaaants, Not wearing any
Not wearing, not wear-air-airing any pants
paaaaaaants, not wear-air-airing pants, pants, pants

"Yes, I agree, there does appear to be a draft in here. I'll go and put on my pants!!!"
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord