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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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I know
[Bb] I received a txtmsg from my nose-to-the-ground contact whilst in the pub. What's going on??
NO PANTS!
It appears that PantsMC is down. Feh.
Bare bummed also.
Well, good Dr., at least that confirms that I'm not excluded from the site because of my postings (although that situation would be quite understandable ☺)
Reliability
Hm. Has anyone had trouble accessing mc5 in the last week? A couple of times I've found myself unable to get outside the house from my laptop (which is 802.11b wireless connected to the net), wandered over to beefy(.angrycake.net, the server mc5 resides on) to find it all well, and then returned to the laptop to find it working again. DNS resolution has stopped more times than I'm comfortable with, too.

Even a single lack of response from the server would be of interest to me - I want to try and determine if it's the DSL or the wireless that's at fault, although I'm currently pointing several accusatory fingers at the wireless equipment, it seeming less reliable than the 'not very reliable' it once aspired to. The lack of complaints here and at MCiOS are good signs, I hope.

On another note, BBC story about the delayed eviction. I dislike BB - and the whole 'reality TV' genre it spawned - intensely but, worryingly, often find it's the most watchable thing on either Sky Digital or terrestrial from late evening through the wee hours.

Nik's, err, problem

I pop in once or twice during my day - which is somewhat different from your own - but have had no problems, Nik.
nik's reliability
Occasionally at work I've had to reload a page but I thought that was down to my work computer. It acts up sometimes..
Nikerrors
Working from home I access the site two or three times a day. Since moving to angrycake this site has been 100% reliable.
No worries
[Nik] I've noticed very little trouble. Occasionally there are brief periods where I don't get an http response within less than about a second - but to be fair I get that with Google or the BBC so it's nothing out of the ordinary. ssh logins have been fine.
two things
[Nik] I've not had any trouble, even using my Mum's steam powered connection, or the hosptial with the huge firewall.

[Bad jokes] I know we'd managed to escape the bad jokes (and I'll try to get it right this time) but I heard this one yesterday and am still chuckling....

Q: Why is the devil not allowed into the Post Office?

A: Beacuse he takes many forms.

Way out West
A three legged dog walks into a bar.

He goes up to the barman and says "I'm lookin' for the guy who shot my paw."
None
Must be the wireless, then. And I've got a car to make remotely roadworthy this month as well. Fiddlesticks.
Remoteness
[Nik] Make sure you use the FM band, and preferably PCM for the control signals. Best of luck on constructing a suitable speed controller!
Celebdaq
I'm having a bit of a 'mare...
Hmmm
I haven't been paying much attention to the 'daq recently, for reasons which should be fairly clear. Really stuck as to who the current long term bankers might be...
daqsodding
I picked the wrong Williams sister this week... way down, dropping like a stone, all is lost, we're all doomed :o(
I be back
Arnie goes up, then Arnie goes down. Looks like that 'Bouncy' singer is the in thing.
Hasta la vista
[Boolbar] Hmmm... Guess who had heavily invested in Arnie...
Me me me
[Uncle K] Me. But I did so last week, so he hasn't fallen below my purchase price . . . yet.
more shares please
With my two accounts I'm still trying different strategies, mtp so far since Friday has bought and sold Henman/Sernena Williams/Arnie/ and now Beyonce. I have been lucky to time it just right in selling all/buying just after 9am. It was very noticable that as soon as Beyonce began to rise Arnie fell of the edge. The rule changes were meant to encourage day-to-day trading and divis greatly reduced payout now to be the square root of any payout so for most celebs it will be zilch, last weeks the results were so poor they have not been posted.
The other slow moving acc. has a clutch of celebs, I hope one of which will rise but with a static market and a prospect of very little divi's it is likely to continue to slide.
Eh?
[Inkspot] Rule changes ? What rule changes ?
Staggered
I am absolutely staggered that someone's been attempting to read the furcation game via a mobile phone WAP connection. Maybe the next challenge would be to do the next move as a series of SMS texts.
I'm being watched!
I admit, it was me. WAP is free and internet is not. On my phone The furc game is 95 pages long (the average length for this page is about 25 pages, which is long enough to scroll trhough). I only got to page one, as was wondering how long it was. Stop spying on me rab! (Do you know where I live? and more worringly can you get my mobie number from your source? Hope not!)
Txting
[rab] SMS Crescent has a certain appeal.

[Lib] I wouldn't worry - one of the pieces of information recorded in the server logs is the user agent being used to browse a particular page, and that will be where rab got his info. The only other identifying information is your IP address, and for a WAP device that's far more likely to be the address of a gateway machine somewhere rather than something which would identify your phone.

clarity!
[dunx] Thanks, I can relax now!
rude cages
Boolbar]A few days ago daq towers changed the rules following several weeks of strange results which started with Get Me Out of Here and continued through to Beckham, they announced them on 30 June with a brief statement to share holders, at the same time the revised dividends were posted. During the past few weeks celebs like Prince William and Beckham were paying out substatial divis that distorted the market leading to huge rises, but to my mind those were extraordinary circumstances.
Spying
[Lib] What Dunx said. FYI the clue was the text 'Google WAP Proxy/1.0' in the logfile. I look at the log now and again partly cos I'm curious to find out how often the site is accessed (as opposed to how often a move is made, which is recorded in the game files), what browsers people use, which search engines pass through and how often, and occasionally to check that no-one's trying to break in.

Mind you, if you want me to spy on you, just leave you mobile number and I'll see what I can do :)

increased roots
Another statement and changes to dividends, due to uproar from the crowd, daq towers have amended the payout to slightly reward those that hold on to shares rather than playing the day-to-day by increasing the amount of payout per share, but this will still be cut be sqare rooted. There's hope for my BB swag bag yet.
Is that the time? best shut down and go home for tea.
stalking
[rab] My phone number is 0898 69 69 69. Feel free to stalk me!
Husk
[Lib] You have an unexpectedly husky voice.
Always wondered
What is on the other end of 0898 696969 ? I've seen it many times used as a spoof phone number.
Wonder no more!
Just dial it and see :) It'll only cost £4.95 per minute.
None
[matt] That's why I'm still wondering.
Daq and darn
Bugger! Losing money fast...
more hot tea
Sometime between 8 and 9 in the morning seems to be the 'opening' time for dealing. Today I waited till 8.30 while the cuppa was cooling down at my desk, Sven was starting to drop and Arnie was twitching with a rise of 6p, it was time to sell all and buy the big guy. Since 8.30 the value of 13860 shares has risen from £123,449 to £132,098, but all this selling will give a low divi payout on Friday. On the weekend I may have to cash in the shares before I go to bed as the big movers do very little between midnight and 9.am but the price may have crashed by the time I get round to trading mid morning.

Vote either Steph or Cameroon but keep in Lisa, her disruption to the house has got to continue.

BB4
[Inkspot] But aren't all the other HMs just ignoring her?
evictions
Yes they are ignoring her, Nush and Scott have paired so are Steph and Cameroon with Ray being pal to everyone. The basis being to break up S&C, if Cam goes how will Steph cope. But I think bringing in an outsider late in the game is always awkward for that person. Tim was lucky last year as Alex was shunned by half the house, and it was earlier in the game but he was never fully accepted. Guests like Gae are allowed as non threatening.
0898
Boolbar] That reminds me of a story I heard about a sexline entitled "Hear me moan". A man tried to take the proprietors to court after he rang it and got a recording of a woman complaining about the lack of help she was getting with the housework. Trading Standards refused to prosecute saying that the man the man "got what he deserved".
Lock Cup
Played
bad joke
There's a mummy mole, a daddy mole, and a baby mole, all living in a mole hole. One day, daddy mole sticks out his head, and says "MMM! I can smell Maple syrup!" So mummy mole squeezes by him and sniffs, smiles and says "Oh! I can smell honey!" Poor little baby mole can't squeeze through, but gamely tries, sniffs and complains "Aww! All I can smell is MOLASSES!"
Celebdaq aside...
...why is Sean Connery not listed?
Lock Cup
I think we need the referee over at rab v. Blob fairly urgently.
ImpostCeleb
Because I'm still quite new and rather pathetically unknowledgeable . . . apart from the obvious, who is who - in our League??? [What I'm really saying is much respect to 'moreteaplease' who has not only managed to amass a whole series of important looking green boxes and a red one, but has held me off the top spot for a few days now - during a period of time where I've suckseeded in buying and selling at JUST the optimum momento.]
Imposing
moreteaplease = InkSpot 2; ffish = GrahamIII 2 (G6?); evil_edna = penelope; sigmundfreud = gil; RadiantAndBeautiful = me (obviously).
None
Sorry, there's obviously only one GrahamIII (or is that three?).
Expose-a-daq
Cheers rab.
tip top tea
What a way to finish the week of exhausting of trading, Chalky it will be over to you next week as such large 7 day gains are almost impossible to maintain, and because of the day2day trading I had no divis.
However the Inkspot account with its spread of BB housemates came up trumps, all the divis have gone into Mrs Beckham ...so make way coming through.
None
[Chalky] Great word in the cheddars, btw. Have tidied up the accent so we can all enjoy its full splendour.
Bad tempered imposters
Did we ever sort out exactly who was whom in B.T.I.?
None
Whats it to you, puffin-head?
Lockage
[Blob] May I volunteer?

[rab] Could you put a link to the Lock Cup pages on here so it's easier to get there from here?

Blockage
[Blob] Forget that - obviously JLE did the honours.
Downtime
Tsk. Server was down for ~two minutes just now. Sorry about that. I had to unplug the power strips as I was moving furniture that I'd trailed the cables through. Bah.
Downtime
Spiked by paranoia (no-one posting since just before my announcement) I'm posting from elsewhere on teh intarnet to verify to myself mc5 is actually visible. Nothing to see here, move along, move along.
The full monty: 02:44 Sun 13 Jul 2003
You're fine, Nik.
None
Not now, though. The disk on the DNS/Mailbox just died. Thankfully, it's mostly only mail that's affected, and I got it back long enough to copy everything not broken off. Hopefully I can figure this out...
Stuff
[Dunx] I'll try and do that before going on holiday, which is tomorrow... so if anyone else has any burning issues regarding this site, let me know by about lunchtime. Ta
Um
Actually, no I can't. Presumably due to the difficulties noted by Nik above I can't access the server at the moment except via these web pages.
None
Mm, sorry about that. sshd won't come back up on that box. It's unconnected to the mail box strife, except that both stem from having to power down on saturday. That'll learn me.
Dokies
[Nik] Right you are

Meanwhile, has anyone ever been anything other than 'cordially' invited to something?

Cordiality
[rab] What, like "reluctantly" invited, or "resentfully" invited?
come as you are
Hmm... I may have had an invitation with menaces before now, but it's not something I'd like to go into detail about
Guilty M'lud
I have been 'invited' to court to appear as a witness.
"You're crap, basically."
I remember being 'invited' to leave Geography at the end of my fourth year at senior school on the grounds of ability...
Downtime
I didn't do it</bart>
Bobs Pot review
Saskia and I have just finished reading 'The Order of the Phoenix'. We read it out loud, taking it in turns to read alternate chapters. We lead a fairly isolated life and have been fairly well distanced from the hype that accompanied the launch - I heard a little about it on the radio and chose not to read too much about it on the Internet. My expectations were not high as I feel that JKR has set herself a near impossible task - that of creating a series of books aimed at a gradually increasing age group - set against the biggest hype ever to accompany a children’s publication.

We were very pleasantly suprised. The book was virtually unputdownable. It is funnier and more sophisticated than the last one and because it builds successfully on the background of the previous books, it left us gagging for more. I am now aware that most reviews have given it 4 out of 5. Possibly because we read the book together and aloud (it works very well like this) or because we missed the hype I’d give it 5/5 and more if I could. OK, so it is not Tolkien or Pullman but it is vintage JKR and a thoroughly great read.
potter/daq
Well that was a conversation stopper! I enjoyed it too, although I felt the end was a little anti-climactic.. that tends to be how the books are though, as it has to end again at the next summer hols. Anyone else confused with celebdaq? They keep changing the rules, although I'm not doing too badly at the moment.
If it works, don't fix it.
[snorgle] My tactic of ignoring celebdaq for a couple of weeks seems to be doing very nicely. Only evil_edna seems to be doing better.
ignoramus spondoolio!
[Boolbar] I ignore it too - I've been trading only once a week or so. I'll admit I picked the wrong Williams sister to win Wimbledon tho, and I've steered clear of the whole BB celeb thing too.*cackle*
Just passing through
I'm afraid I'm going to hijack the chat games for a moment, just in case I've missed anyone out
<fanfare>:
The first (well, first properly organised) MC trip to the Proms takes place this coming Sunday. Feel free to just pitch up and find us, or get in touch (details at other end of link) to make more concrete plans. Thank you. We now return you to your usual programming.</shameless cross-posting>
Jesus in a box
Which pretty much describes the roadside sights in Malta. The roads themselves are very bumpy, although should you wish to visit Hasan's Cave -- a little tunnel that takes you out to a viewing window over the sea, and marked only by a crone pruning the trees and hiring out torches for 30c apiece -- you will find it well signposted from across the island. If, however, you seek, say, Valletta (the capital) then navigation can be somewhat more tricky. A lovely break though: I really didn't think I'd enjoy the heat and the Scally Airways' last minute deal dodah, but it was fab.

[Watty] On account of the above I've ended up spending a shedload of money and am not sure if I'll be able to make the prom after all. I'll email you when I've reached a decision. Hope this doesn't blow things out of the water.

Celebdaq
*** ALERT FOR INKSPOT ***

In a fit of madness, I have decided to 'field a second XI' in the financial shenannigans that is Celebdaq. If convenient, please arrange for DORIS_NEWBOLD (User ID: 3376674) to be inserted forcibly into the league. Let's face it - she can't do much worse than UNCLE_KORKY...

Oh dear
Just looked at my portfolio.
League
[rab] Forget your position - you're still phenomenally richer than I am!
Position
Despite being about the only person in the country left who gives a sh!t, I nevertheless feel the need to share my thoughts about the likely BB4 victor (which may have some bearing on the daq at the end of the week).
  • Steff is most easily dispensed with, both in terms of this discussion and the competition. She's very pleasant is Steff, but wet as a fish and unlikely to appear on the front cover of FHM so won't attract the lad vote like Kee-at did last year.
  • Scott, on paper, is similar. Although my ability to judge the attractiveness of other men is legendarily bad, I can't believe he's that much of a pin-up. He seems to be the housemate's favourite: I believe he was up for eviction only once, and right at the start. Nearly all the evictees have remarked that he's like a 'best mate' in the house. However this kind of thing rarely goes down well with the viewing public (Dean? Liz?). Except the dull one did win BB1 so I guess there's some possibility he might make it.
  • Ray has probably the strongest personality, but is therefore likely to be the kind of person you either love or hate. This lack of all-round appeal may count against him, and is mostly down to his fiery temperament. On the other hand, I would guess he'll get the chick vote on account of being Irish, tall, probably the best looking one of the lot and because he's a bit of a lad.
  • Cameron has, without a doubt, played the best game in the house and on these grounds deserves to win. Although clearly unpopular with the housemates (he's been up for nomination almost every week) and sections of the public (who either get offended by him being a Christian, or being a Christian and not "behaving like one") he's survived the public vote several times so it would seem like the public don't dislike him. I would quite like to see a bible-reading, near-teetotaller to win BB since it's almost the complete opposite of the kind of person you'd expect to win. On the other hand, people who've survived many public votes in the past (Paul, Jade) didn't go on to win, so the form's not good.
So, in short, I reckon Cameron or Ray are most likely to win, whilst Scott has a gnat's chance. I imagine Cameron and Jon will attract continuing media coverage once the thing's all over. Since the latter has been delisted on the daq, it's not rocket science to work out where my investment has gone...
celebdaq
Sounds complicated to me. I've got loads of Nush, who I intend to sell once I collect my divvies, and sink into Arnie, probably.
BBdaq
1. Steph - no chance.
2. Scott - the invisible man; in with a great chance.
3. Ray - Psycho IV; too unpopular outside the house to win.
4. Cameron - Likely to just have the edge over Scott.

I too have sunk loads into Nush, Cameron, Ray and Scott, and aim to sell high fairly soon. Nice to see my investment in Arnie from a few weeks ago is now reaping dividends.

Anyone seen Inkspot lately?

hello clouds
*amble ... stroll ... custard cream* eh wha'? oh yea
None
Ah, there you are! Good to see you again!
None
And thanks for sorting out Doris!
Danke
[rab] Thanks for adding the Lock Cup link.
Bitte
[Dunx] Thanks for allowing me to steal and downsize your graphic :)
None
Thank you very much for the Aintree Iron
any old iron
[Boolbar] So that's where it went. Thanks for letting me know.
Top CelebCat
Well slap my jammy badger! I'm top!
None
*Doffs hat in awe*
Hmph
And I seem to be fondling the bottom, which is normally a good position to be in but not, I think, here.
None
rab] It depends who’s bottom.
None
[Btd] Or, indeed, whose bottom!
None
Uncle Korky] Or, indeed, Titania.
... And todays rant is......
I've just found out that they're taking my crosswords away. Who? (I hear you ask), the evil people at Guardian.co.uk. I'm trying to learn how to do cryptic crosswords, and quite frankly I'm not very good, so I only have a fighting chance on their 'easy' crossword (called the Quiptric, which is weekly and website only). The online Guardian crosswords (all of them, about 15 per week) are becoming a 'pay-for' service in 5 days time. I don't want to/won't pay £25 to access about 15 quiptrics per year (as i don't have patience or time to attempt it each week). So I've complained and am hoping that they will decide that they don't want to take my crosswords away after all.
Celebdaq
I've rather lost interest in Celebdaq. Gets a bit boring after a while - the kneecapping is crap and the dividends are stupidly high. I've left my portfolio unaltered for two weeks and can't find any enthusiasm to modify it. Don't know if that means I'll just bob about or if I'll be thrown off for apathy. And I'm afraid I don't care either way.
Come back!!
*wails*B--L--O--OO--OOO---OOOO-O-B!!! Don't run off just because the game is too easy!
None
[Lib] Well if they do - perhaps we could have a cryptic crossword game on this site - I'd be more than happy to contribute clues. Here are a few nice easy ones to be going on with :
Paying guest loses a fringe (6)
Vermin back in best Armenian families (4)
Mates in turmoil giving off vapour (5)
Tune on the radio ? (3)
WHERE THE EXECUTIONER'S AXE FALLS ? (5,7)
Food comes back as American time period (7)
Born in Little Rock, Arkansas - grew up in Colorado ! (7)
Darn fire is rubbish - more heat than light ! (5-3)

Hope that keeps you going for a while.

Easy game
[pen] Which game ?
None
[Blob] Well, I've got most of those. I didn't get the fifth yet, although it did make me think of
EXECUTION? (7,10)
which may contain the same seven-letter word as yours.
Crypticism
[Blob] We haven't had a cryptic game for a while, and I think some of the slow-burners here could be put to the rest for a moment (I'm thinking of Mrs Trellis and the Centurion for example). I would remark that crossword clues are more fun if (a) they're part of a puzzle with a grid (b) they are complete clues (with both the definition and the device) and (c) they're not all bl**dy tube stations.

[CdM] I got the fifth, but am not sure it's entirely sound unless someone can explain it to me. I haven't got 1,6 or 7 yet.

clues
[CdM] Well I did say they were easy - would yours be (Hidden text) by any chance ?
Perplexed
Well, that rules me out of the cryptic game - I can't get any of them.
Relax
[UK] I'm sure you can. Start off with say, 3 & 8 - they are obvious anagrams. I can't get 7. For what it's worth, I'd love to see a cryptic game in here.
None
I like number 5. :o)
None
Well, as I remarked at Dan's place not so long ago, I think that cryptic clue games have been all too frequent -- one every couple of years or so would be enough for me. Just a personal view. One possibility that might be good would be to move away from tube stations and find some other theme -- players' names?
None
[Blob] Thanks for the clues. Working on them, (could take a while!).

[cryptic game] There hasn't been one since I've been around (but know that's really not that long), not sure how it would work, or if I'd be any good at it, but Bring It On!!!!

celebdaq/cryptic crosswords
I'm still enjoying it for the time being. And I, too, am crap at cryptic crosswords. I got a book on how to work them out, but just couldn't be arsed. They just make me want to scream

WHY WHY OH WHY!!!

In a word
[snorgle] relaxation [CdM] I would argue no theme. Why must there be a Greg Rude-eskying theme? We've never had a general crytic clues game, as far as I'm aware.
Griddle
I wonder if there is any way to post a grid to use? The actual grids are pretty standardised, so drawing them up might not be too hard.
[Lib] I'm disappointed by The Guardian's move too, but not surprised - most of the other newspaper web sites charge for the actual news, which the Grauniad has refrained from doing. And The Times has been charging for its crosswords for years now (and, IIRC, rather more than 25 quid a year).
Amazed
Not only did I get the BB winner right, I got the exit order spot-on too. Not managed this before... I've got lots of shares in the winner, but that's not necessarily the one who gets most press coverage. Anyway, we can shut up about it now, and those who don't care can re-enter the discussion.
Fish trader
rab]of the remainig housemates I am pleased that Cameroon won as he is so unlike any other winner and tomorrow will be a bad day for the bookies who had backed Ray and Scott. No doubt there will be post mortems. I disagree with those in the Sun and the Beeb who say the series only saviour is sex to spice things up, and the public overwhelmingly voted for Cameron 'no sex before marriage'. I would like to see the telephone vote inceased to the top four nominations up for eviction to give the public a wider choice, and for the BB warnings to have an effect on the whole group.
The Celebdaq has gone through a couple of very strange weeks and it has been hard to keep the interest up whilst the rules changed. Hopefully we are over the worst and the game will improve again. Speaking of which this weeks table welcomes Doris_Newbold and the waves a sad to ISayPorter, and if Chalky or evil_edna think I'm going to let them antwhere near the No 1 post, all I can say is ... pah
trading plaices
[Inkspot] Aha! You have reckoned without my cunning plan. Seriously though, I haven't a clue what has occurred regarding rule changes over the last couple of weeks. I enjoyed the scramble to the top to achieve a knee-capping and a green boxy thing, and I am currently attempting to do it again, although there doesn't seem to be much in the way of ruthless and opportunist trading options. By the way, the MCLeague table attached to my portfolio tells a somewhat different story to yours. As the administrator, do you have insider information? teehee
More BB4
Cameron was no surprise at all - the bookies had him at 1/9 to win for most of the week. He was the biggest favourite the 4 series have ever had. I think the main reason was, like last year, the two good-looking young men in the house split the 14-year-old girly vote, leaving the outsider with a fighting chance. They also have entirely contrasting personalities, just like Alex and Jonny. I too disagree that only sex can spice things up. Au contraire - only arguments can. The producers tried too hard for a sexy bunch this year, with the result that the only good task was painting the horse costumes, so we could watch it dry.
Last year, Graham Norton commented: "The public have played a great game this yeat, as they've kept all the interesting people in." Did the public collectively think "Right, we'll do the exact opposite this time for a laugh" or something? If it were up to me, I'd have knocked off Cameron in Week 1. And left in Anouska, Fed, Sissy and Justine for Week 9. If Lisa were in at the start, things would've been different too. And I was secretly hoping that last night, BB might say "As a final surprise for the housemates, we're going to let Jon win regardless of how many votes anyone else gets." Now that would've been a great TV moment!
BTW, has anyone ever observed what a racist programme BB is? As soon as any black housemate's up for eviction it's a lead pipe cinch they're going. EG. Anouska, Gos, Lee, Adele, Narinder, Amma, Dean. It's almost as bad as how sexist it is.

[Dunx re "Griddle"] I've got an idea too, "Collective Consciousness Cryptics" where we all post a word at a time, make up a cryptic clue and then solve it, before fitting it into the grid. Won't that be great?!

Remark
Can I just remark how absolutely fabulous relaxing into a hot bath after a day walking in the hills is? Normal service will be resumed after a collective sign of pleasure.
Back to 'daq
[Inkspot] Cheers for the charming announcement of Doris' arrival. Sorry to hear that I Say Porter has left. Was this voluntarily, or has he disappeared again? I hadn't noticed his name missing from the table, although I was puzzling over how Doris could move in but there were still seventeen of us...
...and another thing...
I can go to bed happy in the knowledge that I have brightened Breadmaster's day with ...so help me God.
None
What's all this bollocks about?
Dear John
Just in case you can't figure it out, try something a little more intellectually challenging.
None
[Bob the dog] OOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOOh!
um
[Btd] Um ... Didn't you actually just insult all of us, rather than John? *scratches head in puzzlement*
Ire
Just venting spleen - no insult intended. Sarcasm does not travel well on the internet - I should know this by now.
None
Actually I've been thoroughly enjoying the virtual poppy plastic!
Movers and Shakers
I have to say, I'm seriously impressed by the rapid conversion of a soupçon of an idea in 'So Help Me God . . ' into a full-blown smorgasBoardgame of delights. Bravo all.
Cryptic answers
I've hidden all the answers and explanations in the source, for those who want guidance on crypticity.

Paying guest loses a fringe (6)
Vermin back in best Armenian families (4)
Mates in turmoil giving off vapour (5)
Tune on the radio ? (3)
WHERE THE EXECUTIONER'S AXE FALLS ? (5,7)
Food comes back as American time period (7)
Born in Little Rock, Arkansas - grew up in Colorado ! (7)
Darn fire is rubbish - more heat than light ! (5-3)

Sourcing
Cheers Blob. The mystery of No 7 is revealed at last.
Sound as a pound
I'm not convinced about the soundness of either no 5 or 7 - unless I'm being really dense. Is the second word of 5 clued by anything other than the orthography? Also the 5th word of 7 is not just redundant but destroys the clue.
clues
[rab] By orthography I take it you are referring to the capitalization, in which case, yep, that is the main clue - and is pretty much an accepted method of cluing - as is using punctuation in non-standard ways. The wording of the clue of course refers to the thing that the axeman's victim's head rests upon.
Arkansas ? What's wrong with that - that's where Little Rock is.
Solutions
[Blob] Well... the executioner is probably a matter of taste - I take the view that you notionally downcase and depunctuate the clue so that what's left tells you what to do. Others disagree, suggesting that if you use 'Bath' in the middle of a clue, it would have to refer to the city as opposed to 'bath' which is a tub. The only way to properly introduce ambiguity is to use it at the start of a sentence. But I'm not that extreme.

On the other hand the Arkansas clue breaks at least two rules. Firstly the definition is not "Little Rock, Arkansas grew up" but simply "Little Rock grew up". And then, if we're being pedantic (which we are), it really ought to be "Little Rock grown up". The second rule is that the definition should never come in the middle of the clue, always at the start or the end.

Everyone has their own stance on what is acceptable and what is not. I consider myself a moderate compared to Ximineans like Don Manley (whose Crossword Manual is well worth a read). However, you might consider me onerously fascist for these opinions.

definitions etc.
I entirely agree that the definition must be either at the beginning or the end, not in the middle - but I was referring to the place Boulder, in Colorado ... so "in Colorado" is at the end as required. The Little Rock growing up was the cryptic clue, and the Arkansas for completeness, suggesting a place to be looked for. Even if you objected to this inclusion, spurious words are allowed if they do not fundamentally change the meaning, and I don't think it does.
None
[rab]I presume you now get the "capital" part of No.5 - as in death (literally head removal).
Weeeelll....
I think we'll have to agree to disagree about "spurious" words which I believe have no place in a crossword clue. This extends even to articles - the distinction between 'a', 'the' and an unmarked word can be huge in a crossword clue. But this is not really relevant to my beef that "Born in Little Rock, Arkansas - grew up" is not a suitable definition (even a cryptic, subsidiary definition) of "boulder". I accept it's cute that there's a place in the US called Little Rock, and a big rock is a Boulder, which is also a place in the US. I reckon one might be able to make a satisfactory clue out of it. Sadly, I don't think this one is it.

I expect now for you to reveal that it was taken from a Times puzzle...

None
[Blob, re capital] No, I only get the block part. Could you explain?
...
O.k. I'll admit that maybe the Boulder one was tweaking the nose a little, but I deemed it sufficiently obvious not to cause a problem in solving it - I've seen a lot dodgier ones anyway.

With regards the capital one : The executioner's chopping board was known as the block capital (admittedly perhaps only poetically) as it was the block on which capital punishment was "executed".

Dawn
[Blob] Poetry is fine - I can live with my ignorance.
Scum
I reinstalled win2k on my laptop tonight. In the space of ~45 minutes between installing the network driver and a firewall, I was hit by a worm. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
Services
[Nik] This is pretty much exactly why I'm tending to install non-packaged Linux distros; something like Gentoo encourages you to choose exactly which services to turn on rather than the (for example) Red Hat approach of turning everything on and assuming you will remember to turn everything off before you attach your box to the net.

And I never attach my box naked to the net.

huh?
I still don't 'get' cryptic clues. Oh well.
...Rendered
[Dunx] I'm coming to the end of the process of making the box dual boot with Gentoo. I'm not sure how long Linux'll last on my desktop this time; I don't get along with it for such purposes. I try again once every few months, when MS release a 'fix' that, for instance, breaks all the media codecs, requiring a reformat.
Flummoxed
I'm getting an idea for a game in which players have to make up meaningless technobabble, and the next player has to interpret it as meaning something utterly mundane and non-technological. Not sure where this is coming from...
technotechnotechnobabble
Breadmaster] Divergent entropy?
babbling
[Btd] A group of people unable to decide which Chinese restaurant to go to.
Getting it
[flerdle] Without banging on too much about it, cryptic clues are really good fun when you get into them - both solving and setting them. Those eight I did were just quickies off the top of my head, so not terribly good examples (as pointed out by various people) - but a really neat clue is a joy to behold.
The basic premise is that the clue is in two parts : The definition and the clue (or wordplay). The definition is a direct reference to the word(s) in question - most usually a synonym, but in the case of names for example it might just be "he" or "she" to signify a male or female name. Also "in (country)" often means that it is a reference to a town/city in that country.
The definition must always either be at the beginning or the end of the clue. Occasionally it is the whole clue, with the crypticity wrapped in the way it is phrased.
The clue part is the interesting bit - this is where a second, indirect reference to the word is made. Here are the main ways that the cryptic part is formed :
  • Double definition (a second definition for the same word - though with a different meaning)
  • Anagram
  • Embedded (the word is in there, usually split between two or more words, but running consecutively)
  • Reverse embedded (as above but running backwards)
  • Homophones (... sounds like ...)
  • Exclusion (removal of specified letters or words)
  • Concatenation (joining words together)
  • Inclusion (one word placed inside another)
  • Puns (word play that suggests the answer)
  • Representation (Roman numerals, chemical symbols etc)
  • Any combination of the above
I bet I've missed something crucial; but if we did have a game then we could maybe explain each clue as it is solved to help cryptonewbies.
Crytpology
[ferdle] There are a certain number of rules to help solve cryptic crosswords. The word is always defined, usually at the beginning or the end. If the clue is two words long then its usually a double definition (example, office desk (6) = bureau). Ignore all punctuation. Another good hint is to find anagrams. words like 'scrambled', 'mixed', 'blended', 'confused' and many others besides (and some are rather obscure and I don't get them). ~Solving one of Blob's clues (I hope nobody minds, it is an easy one!) STEAM is the soultion to number 3 (anagram hinted by the words in turmoil). I'm still at the early stages of learning. I find it helpful (and frustrating) to attempt crosswords with a friend, who is rather good and happily explains clues when I don't get it. Working a crossword back with the anwsers can also be useful. Is that helpful or just more confusing or not what you wanted? If you want to find more rules and hints how to slove then visit www.guardian.co.uk and go to the crosswords section and there is a page dedicated to 'how to solve' things.

[all] Ummm, little miss untechnological strikes again. How do I do hyperlinks?

how to solve
btw, sadly the guardian's page only tells you how to solve cryptic crosswords. If only it was a 'How to solve anything' page.... All of life's mysteries could be solved. Like, why is belly button fluff ALWAYS blue?.......
aagrh
Previewing my move meant I didn't notice/wasn't alerted to the fact I had been simuplosted. Blob's explaniation is far more eloquent than mine! sorry!
New I'd missed something ...
Foreign words are often used - but generally only tiddlers, such as "The French" for LE or LA (possibly LES), or "With German" for MIT.
None
[Lib] I did the same just now. ... And of couerse I meant "knew" not "new"
[Lib again] How to do hyperlinks :
<A HREF="www.thisisthesite.com/thisisthepage.htm">This is what I want it to say</A>
testing!
Thanks Blob. Testing my new found hyperlink skill to send ferdle to this aforemetnioned page.
Mind
I'll bear in mind that when previewing you're not alerted to a simulpost. Before I can make the necessary changes though, I'll need to sort out my laptop's hard disk because it has various versions of different pages that are stored on a range of servers. At the risk of upsetting the Breadmaster I think I'll need to work out how to set up virtual servers in apache to solve all my problems (notably, the DNS name of my laptop changes according to which network I connect it to).

Meanwhile, the cryptics. I can recommend two books. One is 'Cryptic Crosswords and How to Solve Them' (published I think by Chambers - you can search Amazon for example). The other is Don Manley's Crossword Manual, linked to above. The former is better for jumping in. Basically it lists the devices, and then gives some graded puzzles, with the amount of help diminishing as the book progresses. My main gripe is that the authors do like (a) to show off how clever they are; and (b) literary allusions rather than give you practical advice to clue-solving. Manley's book is much more thorough, but as he treats things more from a historical perspective, you'll find yourself dealing with Victorian mindbenders before getting into the cryptics proper. However, this book does offer an insight into the mind of a setter, which is invaluable.

One thing I dislike is microclassification of clues. Since pretty much every clue involves a combination of devices the only classification is:

  • Single definition: usually cryptic, or relying on a pun.
  • Double definition: what it says on the tin. One definition might be more cryptic than the other.
  • Definition + device: where the device is basically a set of instructions that tell you how to make the desired word.
Because you normally have two indications to the solution, it's very rare that there's any ambiguity in the clue. Although the definition could be as vague as "country" the chances are the device points only to one possible country. In that sense, I find cryptics easier than quick crosswords. On the other hand, the range of words used is often wider, so that makes it harder again.
Are we still playing the meaningless jargon game?
My all time favourite clue was suggested in an excellent book I read on cryptic crossword solving.

GEGS (9,4)
Answer:(Highlight to reveal hidden text)scrambled eggs*
None
[BtD] Which featured in a particularly good episode of "Drop the Dead Donkey" if I recall correctly.
Quiptics
[rab] Yes, Cryptics ought to be easier than "Quick" crosswords really, as you're getting two clues in one. Doesn't really work like that though - coz. firstly it could be either end that you're looking for - plus the definition itself is not necessarily straight forward. For example (again off the top of my head, so not necessarily too good), Great Persian holds quiet land (6) might be the cryptic clue, whereas the quick would probably be along the lines of Island country (6). The difference being that whilst the Quick is too vague to be able to pinpoint the country in question - it does not require you to know anything about Persians - and points you to the land being required rather than the Persian himself.
Re GEGS, that was my Dad's favourite clue too - and he told me about it, ooh, thirty years ago - so it's quite an old one.
Naturally
[Blob] This, of course, it what makes one puzzle "easier" than another in my book. For example, whilst the Everyman crossword (Observer) has a tendancy towards irritatingly vague clues, it doesn't a great deal of "general" knowledge - it's helpful to know the odd place name, or big names in various fields but nothing too out-of-the-ordinary. Contrarily, the Private Eye crossword is billed as "difficult", but I complete it about as often as the Everyman (an "easy" crossword). This, I think, is largely because the allusions are generally related in some way to the magazine (Brenda and Brian, for example, refer to the Queen and Prince Charles respectively) rather than to some obscure ode written by a 17th century poet I've never heard of. Horses for courses. I would like to be able to do the Times, or an Arucaria, but doubt I shall ever be able to scale such heights.
Definitions
[Blob, again] I find that, with practice, and if you're used to a particular setter's style, identifying the definition part of the clue can be fairly straightforward.
ta.
[Blob, Lib, et al] Thanks for that, will look over it properly in the morning. Did I mention I never learnt how to play chess either? But don't feel you have to explain here :-)
cryptoculture
Just returned home - so it's good to catch up with the cryptic chat. I attempt the Times crossword most days but can only usually complete with the aid of some very clued-up chums and has become part of our 'early doors' at the pub ritual. Coincidentally, 'GEGS' was also a favourite of my Dad, bless 'im - and brings to mind his almost child-like enthusiasm for the infamous 'HIJKLMNO [5]' clue.
Explanations R Us
[flerdle] Right then - there are 16 pieces on each side - 8 pawns ..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
[rab] I certainly agree that you get used to certain setters' styles. No doubt about it. I'm afraid I have to admit that the cryptic I do regularly is the, ahem, Daily Mail (my wife's choice, honest) - which I actually rather like (the crossword that is, not the bloody paper) - some of its clues make my Boulder, Colorado one look positively officious by comparison. I can normally rattle it off in about 20 minutes - but every now & then, I get a setter who's on a completely different wavelength (or planet) and it takes me ages.
HIJKLMNO
[Chalky]Not seen that one before - What a truly excellent riddle, initially !
HIJKLMNO
[Blob] So it's new to you? Out of interest, how long did it take you to solve it?
HIJKLMNO
[Chalky] Just before Blob answers, I've seen it before doing the rounds as a dingbat at quiz nights.
recycling
Ah - dingbats. That poor relation. Puzzles for the masses. Well, at least it keeps a classy clue 'alive'. Incidentally, the craze for dingbats - something else that the .. erm .. estimable Daily Mail has to answer for?
dingbat [U S slang]n. something whose name one has forgotten, or does not want to use: a foolish or eccentric person: a tramp: money. Adj. [Austr. & N Z coll.] daft, crazy. [Austr. & N Z coll.] the dingbats: delirium tremens.
Such provenance says it all.
HIJKLMNO
Not too long - the brevity of the answer (just five letters) meant it had to be some clever way of reading the clue, so I just read it to myself in several ways and got there in a minute or so. But that's not to say it might not have taken me a while - perhaps I've seen something similar before, dunno.
How 'bout...
O (4,6)
Head scratching
Dunno 'bout Martha's. I got the HIJKLMNO one pretty much immediately when I saw it, but it was in the Cryptic Crosswords and How to Solve Them book as part of a special feature on weird clues, so my mind was already pointed in the right direction. One that I saw in a Grauniad crossword, and don't actually think is that great a clue (for reasons I'll explain later) is "K (7)".
None
[MF] That one is my favorite clue. :-) I was reading down through the game and was about to post it, until I saw that you had got there first. Although I think the clue should actually be
O? (4, 6).
And here's a clue mentioned in the Sandy Balfour book that I recently reviewed at Orange, which although not perfect, you have to admire:
Bust down reason? (9).
stupid damn clues
Stop putting damn clues and no answers! Some of us are thick, you know!
O? (4, 6)
Would that be (Highlight to reveal hidden text) full circle ?
O? (5,6)
Round number.
O? (4,6)
How about open letter?
"K (7)"
Can't get that one - not enough letters for Potassium...
K (7)
[rab] If it's Rufus, this must be Kelvins - if it's Enigmatist, I haven't got a chance :o)
No-one's got mine yet, and I don't think the "?" helps at all. Like HIJKLMNO, there's no definition involved.
As for "Bust down reason", I know this and I wouldn't've got it in a million years. At least, not without some letters.
None
Is O (4,6) like v (6,2,7) ??
None
Oh and is K Weekend?
k
Boolbar] I thought the same - but wouldn't the clue be in lower case, if that were the case? [MF] I'm still flummoxed by the 'O' clue but have a hunch it's more to do with numbers than letters.
v(6,2,7)
What, Middle of Kelvins or something? Sadly no. Well done on K though.
[Chalky] Yes and no. Unhelpfully.
Durr
The Weekend one reminds me of one we had on Cryptic Stations which was e This was Mile End - though I, like Chalky was put off by the capitalization - and was looking for a "head" or "top" answer.
[MF] I thought Raak had got O - you're saying not ?
None
Nuts - that "head" was supposed to be hidden.
Case bust (7,9)
Crosswords are generally filled in in all upper case, so I think "K" is valid. For "bust down reason", would this be something to do with not wearing a bra? I can't think of a 9-letter way of expressing that though.
Bust down reason
Maybe lactating?
K
Boolbar - you are correct on this one. But the reason I dislike it is because (a) it's ambiguous - the answer could just as easily be bookend; (b) there's no definition, purely a device; and (c) even as a device it's flawed because it's not indicated (e.g. with the phrase "to a setter"). These "inverse clues" are becoming more prevalent, but I don't think they're big or clever.
O
[Raak] That is true. You can make up several answers that match some of these clues - like O (4,6) = Come second. My 'v' is much the same, but is a famous schoolboy joke.
Bust down reason
[Raak] There's a simple way of expressing bra in 9 letters it's brassière. But apart from the bust bit, I can't see why it should be the answer.
Ohhh, I geddit...
[Bb] Centre of Gravity, ha ha. No, mine isn't the start, end or middle of anything. Or the second. Or even "a letter in the word 'open'".
[Blob] I said not when I said "No-one's got mine yet".
None
[MF] Too direct a clue there, Martha ! ;-)
Quick joky one : çontrol mechanism (6,6)
French accent?
BTW, there is a definition for "Bust down reason" - it's not just a device. I can't tell if there is for "Case bust", which could just mean something that encases a bust ie. "Playtex Brassiere", which is wrong.
None
[MF] No. Slightly more amusing in a schoolboy humour sort of way.
Busty clues
[Blob] I think brassière would be clued as "Bust up reason (9)". [MF] "Case bust" wasn't meant to be a clue.
None
And the (7,9)??
None
[MF]Just an allusion to the clues I was commenting on. But if you can find a solution anyway, don't let me stop you! Am I anywhere on the right lines with my solution to "Bust down reason"?
None
Yes.
I feel CdM's Bust
Down Reason should be given away by CdM, but as for my "O", the first letter is L.
Bust descending
CdM] does the answer begin with 'S'?
Ooooooops...
[Raak] You're nowhere near with "lactating".
O
[MF] Is it Love letter ?
Oh!
[Bb] That's the most convincing one I've seen so far. I think I understand the bust clue, but that doesn't bring me any nearer to solving it!
bust
I like the Bb one aswell. I'm attempting to conceal my bust solution - would the 'preview' show the word as hidden? Not sure if I'm tagging correctly.
None
[Bb] Congratulations!
[Raak] You're definitely thinking about it the right way. I agree with Martha that it's a very hard clue (I didn't get it when I was reading the book.) The first letter is B.
[Blob] I'm not sure if you are referring to a different occasion, but I clued "Mile End" as
More? (4,3)
with the idea that it should be read as "M or E"
what the fuck is a APROPOS
I BET SHE LIKES IT DOGGY STYLE ASWELL. THAT CATALINA BINT I MEEN, NOT THE QUEEN MUM GORD BLESS 'ER.
Three-sixties
I'm sure she does. Meanwhile, CdM's 'more' clue would have Ximenes turning is his grave.
For CdM or Martha
Can you confirm if the clue should be read as a double definition, 'bust' and 'down reason', the whole therefore being something that would make you depressed, either through being broke or broken? Thanks. (Hmmm... sees the appeal of a MCiOS-u-like hidden-text feature).
Hiding To Nothing
[rab] Quite so on the hidden text: goes double with skins where the background colour can vary dramatically.
Dr Jekyll
Yes... <hide>the clue should be read as a double definition</hide>

And, irritatingly, no... <hide>Nothing to do with depression - this may be a clue too far, but it's not "bust 'down reason'", but rather "'bust down' reason"</hide>
HTH. (But not really.) :oP

None
[rab] You're absolutely right about "More?" -- I am of the school that is generally Ximenean, but will make an exception for a good enough clue. Which "More?" isn't -- and I think I acknowledged as much when I set it. As for the bust clue, I don't think you are on the right track. The structure of the clue is: essentially double definition, but with each word having a different sense in the two definitions. One of the definitions clues the answer, the other clues a phrase.
oops
Sorry -- just got caught by the same preview/simulpost problem...
None
I still think it ought to be 'strapless' rightly or wrongly.
Oh
[CdM, Martha] Thanks for the help without managing to give the game away - I'm not sure if I'll get this. The preview/simulpost problem is noted, and I'll try and sort it out at the weekend.
Plus
On the plus side, it does mean, CdM, that you're preview problem a while back was a one off.
Meanwhile
I'm wondering if it's time to put Mrs Trellis to bed.
Goodbye Mrs. Trellis.
I did think of a couple of game ideas - but both have been slightly started on the other MC sites.
(1) Author Imposters Tag Wrestling - A story is told by different authors, each trying to guide the story in their style and choice of characters. Stephen King, Enid Blyton and Shakespeare can nuke it out!
(2) Animal Diaries - The animals have a game of MC - as told from extracts in their diaries.
(3) Or something cryptic.
Banned list
I was going to remark that the following are currently on my banned list: imposters, combined, bad-tempered, chivalrous, Lord Byron, Bad HTML, ostrich, ham(p)ster and Spartacus.
No! I'm rab!!
And I want to know what that <blink>f*cking</blink> hampstrich has done with my bicycle. Please.
None
I'm Spar . . . oh sorry rab, I'll just go away then. *shuffles off*
None
[Bool] There's already a slot free at Orange, if rab doesn't like those ideas.

[X-philes] "Flying heart doctors" A-O-I-I (This is a real one that I can't get.)

None
AEOLIAN would fit from the flying point of view if the final I was wrong... but as for doctors. Isn't HEART sometimes used for L? as in I [HEART] NY?
Maybe...
...but I'm 100% on the second I. (It's from "Oriflamme".) I think it must be "Amorini", ie. "cupids", but it doesn't look right.
None
I spose "doctors" because they 'doctor' people's hearts, ie. screw around with them. Although since they're sticking them with arrows, I wouldn't hire them myself.
Amorini
I was about to suggest amorini - see here but I still can't quite make it add up.
[CdM] Re Mile End - no it was a clue eons ago - not yours.
No-one's done my little çontrol mechanism (6,6) yet.
As for the bust thing - I'm completely stumped.
*groaning*
[Blob] It's French letter, isn't it?
A trip to my copyright lawyer
[Blob] Nonono -- mine was eons ago (June 2000); the other one was hardly more than a year ago. :-)
preview problem
[rab] It wasn't actually a one-off -- I had the problem for several weeks, and I stopped ever previewing for a while. But then it just went away. Sorry for not keeping you more up to date.
New game ideas
[CdM] Right. This will have to go into the book of the great unexplained.

[Boolbar, MF] It's not that I particularly dislike those ideas, it's just words like "imposter" trigger an "Oh no, not again already"-style response. I actually like the sound of the authors game - with a different moniker I might have realised the potential sooner. The reason for the banned list is that I find that such games, due in part to the huge numbers of times they've been played before, tend to be somewhat lacking in quality.

And while I've got my bad-tempered unchivalrous patronising primary-school teacher imposter hat on - could I urge people to think carefully about (a) the sense and (b) comic potential of their limerick lines. I've seen a number of great set-up lines from all players, only to be let down in a number of cases by not-so-great punchlines. I appreciate that I might be responsible for some of these and have already slapped myself on the wrist.

Aren't the clouds particularly fluffy for the time of year?

None
[rab] I agree about the overuse of some games leading to a lack of quality. [MF] The 'coin' game at orange is a little too much like the animal game. The 'authors' game I suggested is a little too close to "Once upon a time..." at MCiOS. This is why I've not started either . . . yet.

The clouds out of my window are lacking in fluffiness being more of a fuzzy amoeba-like greyness.

None
[Watty] Yo's gottit
[CdM] Oh, that eons ago - not sure I'd even discovered the site(s) at that time !
[Games] a straightforward cryptic clues game (not metrocentric) would be new.
Meanwhile, as this seems to be the home of crypticity at the moment, how about :
Support being laundered to change opinions (9)
None
*giggles insanely*
Let's be straight
The moval of the cryptic challenges to a separate page might be a good thing, particularly for those who aren't that interested. It could simply be a forum to post, solve, explain and shout down clues rather than a game with any particular theme or aim (I'm thinking in the style of the various discussion games there are/were at Orange and MCiOS like Books or Rattling Dice).

Meanwhile, Blob, my first thought was brainwash but I can't get that to fit, and in the light of Martha's comment which appeared while writing this, I suspect I'm completely on the wrong track.

None
[rab] My first thought was jockstrap, but I can't get that to fit either, so I guess it just reveals further unwanted details of my psyche.
[authors] I like this idea, but story games do seem to get mired pretty quickly. Once Upon A Time already looks ready to be shot in the head. Oddly enough, the first move in that game was originally going to be by "Arthur Conan Matt" -- which could easily have (unintentionally) turned it into something like you're suggesting -- perhaps it might have worked better if so.
None
*rolls around laughing on the floor and discovers Martha there*
*ting*
[rab] Spot on : not sure what you object to : bra is a support, in wash is being laundered, brainwash is to change opinions. Can't really see why that's not playing the game.
Blob
No, that's fine. You shouldn't assume that just cos I don't get it, I think there's something wrong with the clue. I am also quite dense.
Disappearing act...
Just a quick note to say that I’m off on my hols tomorrow, so I’ll ‘see’ everyone on the 16th when I get back.
None
*writhes in agonies of hysteria, tears streaming from eyes, gasps from lack of oxygen, has near-death experience*
cryptic giggle
What's so funny? Weirdos.
*putting people out of their misery*
[rab, Blob] Um, now might be a good time for you to reconsider:
Bust down reason (9).
Reason for falling down, busting a gut and laughing.
I think I might have worked out why CdM and Martha are chortling so ... but if so, I don't really get the clue.
Dawn
Oh, I see! Martha kinda put me off the scent a bit. And, no, I'd never have got this in a million years without the foregoing and a numerical hint.
Shakey
I think Raak's posted a category killer of a move in Shakes and Ladders... I have a couple of ideas, but how to compete with such an excellent play?
Durrr
*sound of someone being incredibly thick* (still can't get it - I have a nasty feeling that when I finally discover the answer to this, I may have to (a) hit myself over the head with my mouse then (b) hunt down Martha & CdM .... )
Roger me with a garden rake and call me Gerald
It's August!
Oh dear....
[Blob] Tempting though it is to leave you out there swaying in the wind ... let me put it this way. Perhaps now is a good time for you to reconsider
Bust down reason (9)
in the light of
Support being laundered to change opinions (9).
Here's another hint. If you examine the two clues closely, you will notice that there is the same number of letters in each answer!
None
[Dunx] I have another daisy-cutter ready, but I've been holding off, hoping for other people to carry on.
None
[Raak] I'll try and post my one feeble idea later today, but the pressure of following such an outstanding move is rather great!
Brainwave - I mean wash
Ah - so I clued the same word. Not quite as serendipitous as it might at first seem, as brainwash was one of the words I'd considered but rejected - but it looked like a nice sort of word to clue, so I did. I still don't really see why it's the answer though. I think I'd put that on my crap clues pile along with about 20% of the Daily Mail ones that I only get once I have sufficient letters.
None
That came out a bit peevish - perhaps I'm missing something.
gaming license
Hello again. I've been away, but sadly nowhere exciting (And i've been keeping my eye on things by the joy of WAP). I'm looking forward to the cryptic page, sounds like my cup of tea! Anyway I've had an idea for a game. Not sure if the technology is out there (and I'm sure someone far cleverer in such matters will be able to say "yay" or "nay") or if its been done before (and failed) but anyway, The idea is a caption competition. Someone posts a piccie and then we all suggest captions until we get bored, then someone else posts a different piccie. Will it work?
Captions
[Lib] Spinnwebe and other sites have been doing glorified caption competitions for years. Don't see why it can't work here too. You just have to be careful about where you get the pics, of course. Spinnwebe (aside from the ill-fated DFC which ripped off the Family Circus cartoons) used to get pics from people submitting their own photos into the stockpile. We could do that here, it would be a lot of fun.
Cryptics
Oh, and as for cryptics, if anyone ever ventures into rec.puzzles.crosswords, I was the creator of the FSCC (five-second crossword competition) which afaik still runs to this day. (You make a 5x5 cryptic crossword with certain restrictions, and the participants vote on the entries to see who wins.) Typical of me, though, I never took part in it again after the very first round!
Continuations
Sorry for posting so many times on this page with so little content. Here's a link for Spinnwebe's caption stuff: http://www.spinnwebe.com/a1/
bust down reason
[Blob] I couldn't get this, but having had it revealed I can see the rationale and I have to agree it is frightfully elegant. Both MF and CdM have described the mechanism, so it is probably redundant of me to point out the double definition: reason bust is down = bra in wash; to bust down reason: brainwash -- but as MF will no doubt attest, I'm always ready to be ploddingly literal at times like these.
get thee to a flummery
In any case, since Lib has gently encouraged Mrs Trellis back into retirement, perhaps it's time to dignify the cryptologists with a game of their own? I'd do it myself if I had the aptitude, but (as should be painfully obvious) I don't.
Technical support desk
[matt] Well, you click on 'Start a new game' and then... oh. I see what you mean. Yes we need a suitable title and intro blurb. In the absence of other titles, perhaps 'Bust down reason (9)' would be appropriate?
'Start a new game' and then...
Or Obscure vault 99 (7)
None
Or "Cry 'Picts!' - resolve difficulties"?
Anyway, can anyone help with "Bank's route to the deposits" I-C-I--? I think it might be Incline, but why?
wail over postscript about spasm (8)
I suppose you have inc-line (or a line/route to an inc) where inc = increase = deposit, and a bank is an incline.
Me being picky
[Boolbar] Your "wail..." clue isn't quite legitimate as it omitted the straight def, and it doesn't really work as an &lit imho either. Maybe make it "Clues wail over postscript about spasm" but that doesn't have a very good surface, unfortunately. [matt] Incidentally, "bust down reason" isn't a double def, it's an &lit. A double def is where you have two definitions next to each other. An &lit (meaning "and literally true") is where the whole clue is simultaneously both the cryptic form *and* the straight def.
Today's Everyman
Some nice clues but I can't get 6D. Maybe it'll come to me when I go for a swim presently. For the record the clue is "Hope chest contains last gift brought over (6,6)" and I have B_T_O_ D_A_E_. I would also explain why I find some of today's clues quite elegant, but think I should wait until someone makes a ruling on what the X-word game should be called.
Everyman
BOTTOM DRAWER. I tried the Independent crossword yesterday, and solved exactly one clue. Completely baffled by the rest -- how does the Independent crossword rank against the others for difficulty? Left it on the train, so I can't quote examples.
Deep down and dirty
[Raak, re your solution[ That's what I thought but why?

[Raak, re Indie] I had a go at this too, and solved four clues. My Dad does the Indie on a daily basis, and I can't remember which setters he claims to be easier than the others. I think they range from somewhere just above the Everyman to somewhere just below Arucaria. But I might be wrong.

Hope chests
[rab] "Hope chest" is the definition, "last" is a definition of the first word, and "gift brought over (i.e. reward reversed)" indicates the second.
Picked
[Darren] You are right, but I though it was getting so obvious what was being clued that the definition was pointless (well that's my excuse anyway!!)
Chesty teaser
[Raak] Thanks for that... I've never heard of a hope chest, but I did at least manage to get a fruity desert I'd never heard of in the same puzzle so that almost gave me a feeling of pride and accomplishment.

[Game names] Any of those would do. Someone care to cut the ribbon, or do I have to do it?

Update update The requested simulpost-during-preview warning has been added. But not, I'm afraid, on this website. It's on the 'working copy' which, for good measure, has been converted to use an exciting new cauliflower to drive the HTML sprocket. What this means in practice is that you'll notice no changes in the forseeable future, but I might one day get round to writing alternative interfaces (eg WAP). Job etc.

None
Hey, look at that. My connection has stayed alive three mornings in a row. Which is handy, with me working on weekend time for two of them, and forgetting to check on my way out again this morning.
Busted flush
[CdM, MF, matt] O.k. I see it now - and as you say, it does have a certain elegance. My only quibble with is really is that it is a bit two-staged, in that <hidden_bit>one has to get to "bra in wash" as a reason for the bust to be down, and normally such two-stage clues are inadmissable. Like having to find a word and then anagramise it. I've seen it done, but it does cause confusion IMHO</hidden_bit>
None
The distinctive feature of the "bust down reason" clue is that the entire clue is simultaneously the definition and the cryptic indication, instead of them being separate halves.
Flush or bust
[Blob] I think this what Manley calls "A clue to a clue"; but didn't you know you can excuse anything with a question mark. In any case as Raak and Darren point out, it's an &lit clue. This type of clue is what people entering the Azed clue-writing competition usually aim for. Often with disastrous consequences, as it's extremely difficult to get a clue that is both crossword-grammatically correct and furnish a sound definition of the whole.
Cryptologists please note
The obscure vault has been opened, probably to the relief of the uninterested.
*pipes up*
But what shall we talk about, now?
None
No fluffy clouds here today.
None
Dark here now.
dreams of darkness and coolness in the blinding 30 degree heat of the office*
I dropped crunchy nut cornflakes and milk in my keyboard this morning. :o(
Talking points
[pen] Whoops.

Meanwhile I'd like to point out, though I will suspect none will care, that the 'Extended overhaul' of the DJ Shadow track 'Organ Donor' (on the Preemptive Strike compilation) is a triumph.

*laughs fearlessly at 30 degree heat*
I had Froot Loops for breakfast this morning. mmmm sugar.
I skipped brekkie and went straight onto lunch.
PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING.

On wednesday, newly qualified Dr Lib and hundreds of her Doctor friends are being let out onto the British public at large, allegedly to make them better. It is your duty to do us all a favour and avoid getting admitted to hospital (preferably for ever! but if you must get ill then at least wait a week or two so the new baby doctors will have had chance to work out whats going on). I thank you all for reading this announcement and wish you all the best of health.

None
Not the best time to have my knee go dodgy while working out, then?
*Insert hen pun here*
Tuesday is the day that our Chickens arrive. We'll be trotting over to Craven Arms in Shropshire (sounds like a pub but isn't) to collect them. Hooray!
Chicken Pun
[Btd] Egg-sellent!
Rubbish start to the day
Having made it all but three steps into work this morning, a lump of purple shit fell out of a tree and landed on my (of course) clean white t-shirt. I've spent several minutes in the gents scrubbing it like crazy and am now back in my office on one of the hottest days of the year with the fan heater blasting out in a vain attempt to make the slightly-less-stained shirt less moist. Of course, now the heater has cut out, deciding it to be way too hot. Grrr...
I spose
I could stand out in the sunshine, but then at the risk of burning my poor head...
Head of the class
[Rab] I concur. As I have stated before: Summer = evil.
Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Eggrything.
[BtD] Which are you getting first? The chickens or the eggs?
Counting chickens
[BtD] I'd love to keep chickens. Are they RIRs or fancy ones with feathered legs?
Chicken tikka marsala
[BtD] So they're LIVE ones - what fun! I 'did' bantams for one rather rustic year when I was younger and foolish enough to want to impress a potential husband [animal husbandry pun obligatory].
IN the Hen House
[Chalky] But did it work?!! We need to know these things! Is it worth investing in half a dozen chickens and a hutch or is my money better spent on posh underwear?
Defurcation
Someone's shat on the furcation game? Do we want it reinstated? I guess that's aimed at Martha Farquar really.
Ready... aim...
The subject of the aiming being the question about reinstatement, not the shitting. Just to be clear.
None
[pen] I think the chickens would definitely look better in a hutch than in posh underwear.
bantam waits
[penelope] I went all fickle, ran off with a drummer in a folk-rock band and as I recall, the posh underwear was quite unnecessary. hehehehe.
None
There must be some joke about both drummers and chickens having drumsticks . . . .
o f*ck
My colleague has just accepted another job - we've been running a PR programme together for the past five and a half years and now... eeeeek!!! *sees her holidays disappearing into the mist as the workload piles up while someone else is appointed*
Colleague update
*dribbles juices over the keyboard as a consequence of sucking colleages plums*
rab's juicy innuendo
[rab] Careful you don't stain your white T-shirt.
[penelope] That's a bit of a bummer. So - this PR malarkey? Could any one do it?
Sticky fingers
[Chalky] Yup. Any dipstick can do it. As long as you're smarter than the average, have newspaper experience, can tell the difference between a good story and a bad one and be able to tell the client exactly what you think and hold your temper when they disregard everything you say, be able to turn a phrase or two and don't mind having red pen through your work every now and again.
Closure
Sorry about the brief closure (if anyone noticed it). Just reinstating The Furcation Game at Projoy's request. There'll be no need to close the station for such essential maintenance when I roll out the next major upgrade, sometime in 2008 (subject to Government funding).
Re: Closure
[rab] Ah yes, those long-awaited updates... you will recall how long it took me to finish the code that fixed the "this game is too long" problems, and similar longeurs have affected exactly the kind of admin screens which I suspect you are talking about (well, not strictly true - I did write the necessary admin screens at the same time as String itself, but they've never worked). The urgency of the whole random Lock Cup game creation fiasco thing is making me work rather more rapidly on logins, which is really about minimising the amount of work I have to do in removing the detritus.
Longeurs
[Dunx] At the risk of Checking My Oats, the grand scheme is to move from a flat-file storage system to a mySQL back-end. Then I can use an off-the-shelf frontend (with appropriate security cauliflowers enabled to prevent any old Jack coming along and dropping his spade) to do the tweaks when required. It will also remove a shed-load of concurrency issues and, in principle, provide better data integrity, removing the need for having a+w mods on parts of the server (evil). Currently (i.e. on the [not-]working version) the front page is converted: just need to do the creation page (easy) and the thread page (hard) before it's done. Hence the 2008 ETA.
Chicken Run
Just got back with the chickens - yes they are live and clucking - if rather breathlessly in this heavy atmosphere. I built the hen-house myself and it is extremely satisfying to see that they fit in it. What would I have done if they hadn't?
Penelope
What are RIRs? They are hybrids chosen for free-range hardiness and egg quality. Two Black Rocks and a Speckledy. They are currently pecking at a cabbage we left for them. Must try one of rabs security cauliflowers.

Re poultry vv underwear as bloke attractant, I know what I’d go for but I’d probably be misunderstood.
I said, I said, what are RIRs?
[BtD] RIRs are Rhode Island Reds, the rusty tawny brown chickens. I'm not sure what sort of chicken Foghorn Leghorn was... but I do remember acting as a poultry traffiker and facilitating the transfer of a cock looking very much like him between a schoolfriend's house and my uncle's house. I left him in a cardboard box in the boot of my car for a couple of hours and he was as quiet as a mouse. Unfortunately he livened up a bit after that and attacked my small cousins. I think they probably ate him.
What's a security cauliflower? Is it more or less effective as a bloke attractant than poultry or posh underwear?
security cauliflower
I dunno - try the phrase on rab - he has been using it alot recently - along with spade dropping, a+w and 'Checking My Oats'. Good job I know my RIRs from my Marans.
beguiling cauliflowers
The answer to your last query [pen] is contained in rab's posting, and I quote : 'with appropriate security cauliflowers enabled to prevent any old Jack coming along and dropping his spade' . . . which I guess means less effective.
None
[rab] Arr. In theory, the String code is sufficiently modular to enable just that kind of substitution. In practice, is it bollocks like. I do like the idea of using someone else's admin code, though... I've just started detailing the Lockisseum account management stuff, and the fact that I know exactly what it needs to do does not in any way detract from the fact that it is going to be right pain in the arse to write - yea, e'en unto the point where I'm wondering if I should even bother. Well, I'll certainly keep at it for a wee while yet, since much of the infrastucture that will make this stuff at least practical is already there, but still... it's not fun.

I'm really really glad I'm not trying to do session management though.

Explanitude
[Dunx] Response in 'Oats', hopefully by the time you get up.

[Security cauliflowers] Bob - I think you might be confusing the security cauliflower with the NS4 compatibility dandelion. It's completely unrelated to that strain of cauliflower that drives the HTML sprocket (which in turn uses a fabby plugin strawberry - dead impressed). I think there's an adage somewhere about roses and sweetness being my weakness. <timmy_mallet>Ah-yeah!<timmy_mallet>

Sloth
Is it just me or is anyone else experience sloth on the part of the interwebnet today? I notice this particularly with sites hosted on t'other side of the Atlantic.
Sloth
[rab] Nope, just the usual Gluttony and Lust for me...
NS4 compatibility dandelion
I recently put pinkhat 4.2 on a 'lobster' pc and was hoping to use Pastil or its fruitdriver cbbc on it. (I am also interested in using the orgasmatron 5.7). I tested the setup with a program consisting entirely of 'wangsnappers' and ran it thru both Pengiun and step by step complile and link using f-o-t and then Bernard Mathews 2.2. I am left with an executable which, when run produces no output. Do I need a NS4 compatibility dandelion???
Dandelion
[Bob] No - the dandelion is a server-side, rather than a client-side, bit of horticulture.

In the meantime I notice that it's rather quiet today. Am I the only one working? Not for long though, I hope. I'm thinking... Hmmmm be-er. Hmmmm gar-den. Hmmmm Private Eye crossword so I'll probably bugger off at 5.

None
[BtD] Ignore rab [who simulposted]. I say yes. But watch out for CiSloops which curdle 5.6i interfaces. I found G-ripetool [the citrus version] had more centenniel compatibity.
Work?
Luckily I had to attend a photoshoot on the south coast today to teach someone how to do it, so was revelling (in my darkest shades and straw hat - I kid you not - with thick dark hair, my head absorbs heat like a solar panel) in sunshine and seabreezes while the rest of the company sweltered in our un-airconditioned offices. Then of course, I had to take my student out to lunch. I can recommend a shady table on the Boardwalk overlooking Port Solent with lots of iced sodas :o)
Relaxation
It's Wednesday, it's half past twelve, and it's time for a nice bike ride. At least now I've the little computery doohickey to work so I know how fast I'm going and far I've been.
G-ripetool
Chalky/rab] I can access the client-side horticulture with Chalkys G-ripetool (vv 4.3 downloaded for €1 from www.nerdnest.com). The ability to play FNKY streams was implemented, along with the ability to add pimento directories recursively in addition to individual Conan the Barbarian files. Maestro options were added to the strange-quark-cake menu, and strange-quark-cake now launches the backend process if it is unable to connect to it. Schemas with descriptions were added for the options in HRT, and a number of usability improvements in DUCK. Despite this, my pc is still cak. Am I using the wrong DUCK?
None
Here's a link to www.nerdnest.com.
None
Does anyone ever post lonely hearts ads on here? Can I do it?
lonesome pining
[Dear Darren] penelope expressed some interest in husband-snaffling [see above]. You may need to express your preference, though, for either chicken hutchery or pricy lingerie.
withdrawn from sale
[Chalky] I'm already the item of interest for a young man, although of doubtful husband material. Let's see what Darren has to say anyway!
None
Well, there doesn't seem much point if there's no-one available!
window shopping
[Darren] That sort of attitude won't get you anywhere. C'mon, let's see what you've got to offer!
None
In honour of present company, I'm naming my chickens Penelope, flerdle and Lib (all of whom I'm pretty certain are female - please correct me if I'm wrong). Pen is the Speckledy and flerdle and Lib are both Black Rocks.

Darren] I believe that other lady contibutors include Saskia and Néa – and I'm not sure about snorgle (sorry!). Add to that the many thousands who access this site and are too sensible to post and I'd say go for it .
Arsebiscuits
I had the wisdom a while back to book a train journey passing through Birmingham for today. According to the nationalrail website, the first leg of my journey will be avoiding the station I want to get on at. I tried calling Virgin to ask them what to do instead, and they put me onto the rail enquiry "helpline" who said they didn't know that that train wasn't running and what I should do instead...
National Snail
rab] Is this the usual B'ham New Street/Moor Street/Snow Hill cock-up?
chicken fancier
[BtD] I am indeed honoured. And it has casued a giggle around the office :o). I bet I lay the first egg!
Train Pain
I've found in the past that if you phone a rail enquiry helpline more than once and ask the same question, you'll get different train times and fare prices.
Egg Betting
[BtD] I'm putting my virtual money on flerdle for first egg. Can we have a photo of the three lovely ladies?
Let the train cause the pain
[BtD] Don't think so. Occasionally Virgin Trains think they can get away with not stopping at minor stations like Manchester Piccadilly. [Boolbar] I'm going to try again later. At first I wondered if I'd got one of these outsourced Indian or Taiwanese call centres, but it turned out the chap I was speaking to had a Geordie accent. I feel slightly bad about talking to him. In very simple sentences. Just to make sure. My query was understood.
Chick-chicken
[BtD] I have met all three of your chickens' namesakes and despite not having conducted a full medical examination, can assert with reasonable probability that all are female.
Rail or derail
What the heck are you lot complaining about - we've got a rail infrastructure that looks like it's totally *u****, even without Virgin involvement - which I suppose means I should say that it's immaculate? I guess that does not make a lot of sense unless you are half pickled - but I'm sure you will get the drift.
Rack and Ruin
[Dujon] Whence do you hail?
Lonely hearts
Incredibly amusing male Crescenteer seeks similar, except for the male bit, for initial slightly-awkward conversation with a view to extended hugging sessions*. I'm mid-20s, in the south-east, own business, overweight. What more could you possibly want? So, if you're a female Crescenteer from anywhere who is still reading, drop me a line at the phonetic address vee em gee ess ee dee eye @ geocities.com.

* If early games go well, shunting and straddling may be introduced at a later stage.

email
Dammit, that shouldn't be geocities.com, but msn.com. (Treat this as an intelligence test!)
Commercial venture
Did I tell you it's 36p per word + VAT + P&P ?
not a bloke
[BtD] I'm a girly. And I'm sure that snorgle will confirm that she is. There's a lot of it about.
I can name that chicken in three clucks!
[BtD] You'll have to get more hens to keep up with all these girlies.
commercial vulture
[rab] yohard-hearted so-and-so - it should be a free service! Wouldn't you like to be shopping for a new hat (a la Cilla) to wear at the first Mornington Wedding?
oops
sp/yo/you space*
Gaah?
What's next? Who Wants To Marry A Crescenter?
The Bantam Page
I'll do what I can for chicken photos - may take a day or so because I'm an analogue camera user. In the meantime the first egg sweepstakes are:
Penelope: Penelope
flerdle: Boolbar
Lib:None as yet. br>
Disclaimer. Eggs may be delayed by a few weeks due to youth of chickens (18 weeks) and/or method of husbandry (as natural as possible). And Bob the dog will not bear the responsibility for any gambling debts.
Hmmmm
I think I'm honoured.... All the best with the chooks, BtD. I think I would really need to be an Australorp though. But I suppose a Black Rock is ok...
None
[rab] Should you rename this "The Bantam Page"??
Eggy
[Bob] Stick my name on Lib's egg. I'm sure she'll be thrilled :)

[penelope] That's what I need the money for, of course.

In actual fact I have considered setting up a totally free dating site, as it does seem rather mercenary for one to profit from other people's loneliness (or, indeed, vice versa). However there are two unresolved difficulties. Firstly: how do you filter people so that those who sign up are reasonably serious, responsible and have sufficient wit to woo and intelligence to recognise a parking meter when it slaps them across the forehead? I wondered whether to have some sort of off-the-wall questionaire where it's not so much the answers given that determine whether you are accepted into the fold or not, but whether you even attempt to answer them. I'm not sure I'd have the wherewithall to design such a thing. Secondly, and perhaps more seriously, I wouldn't wish to be held responsible if things went wrong...

flerdle chook
Thanks rab - any one else wishing to place a bet?

flerdle] With the fear that I may be misinterpreted again, the Black Rock is a very attractive bird (better - in my opinion - than the Australorp). As you will see when the photos arrive.
Lonely Tarts Club
I feel this could be the chance to indulge in a nice Blind Date-themed game. Not exactly how sure it should work, but perhaps it could end up, like a Shakespeare comedy, by pairing up all extraneous Crescenters each with their ideal partner (Blob with Raak, CdM with st d and so on).
Hearty loons
I had a similar idea. Players submit Lonely Hearts ads under a pseudonym and other have to guess their online identities.
None
other/others
None
and now that York is truly gone (sob) couldn't we add a few more games?
New games
There's been a spare slot at Orange for a couple of weeks now - can't see any reason to open the floodgates.
Madeira / !York
If !York is caput - any chance of at least resurrecting the Encyclopaedia Morningtonia on one of the surviving sites ? I believe fairly recent tarballs exist, do they not ?
Buzz
As may be apparant from some of the foregoing, I'm off away shortly to catch a train. Maybe it's the one I'm booked to travel on, maybe not. One part of the National Rail website says the intended train is not calling at Manchester; another part says it has already reached Preston and is heading towards Manchester as planned (which I find hard to believe - it would be about 30minutes early in that case...). The upshot of this is that although I expect to be near a phoneline over the weekend, or possibly even a broadband antelope, I might not be on hand to apply lint to grazed knees and the like.
En-cyclops
I have a grand plan - maybe I'll start work on it at the weekend - to code up some sort of collaborative web-based encyclopaedic buzzard (a bit like a wikipedia, or h2g2, but not, cos that's not the point) into which Morningtonia would fit quite nicely, and be updated by the community. Good idea? (ETA 3062)
wikipedia
The NS4 compatibility dandelion or Chalkys G-ripetool should do the trick ;o)
BillowBap Reminder
Don't forget to use Snudgen Inserts, or the eng-wardrobe will be left open to SNAX.
Yorkishness
[BtD] rab speaks truth, as ever. [Blob] Publishing !York's archives is one thing on my list to do. It might happen alongside the account stuff I was wibbling about earlier on.
Not killed anyone yet....
[BtD] Thanks for naming the chick after me (and we're both shropshire lasses, so is kinda nice!), its the nicest thing anyone has done for me today. (Have decided that being a doctor is no fun!)

[All] As well as having Encyclopedia Morningtonia here can we get some players profiles too? There's so many of you I know nothing about (not having been around for long).

[rab] I can't get to orange (stupid random firewall) so I'd also bid for raising the game limit here (especially as the cryptic discussion is not really a game, as such).

[Darren] Nice advert. Shame I'm not really eligible!

Delphic Utterances
Now might also be a good time to mention, in an "I-can't-do-anything-to-help-but-I'm-going-to-bleat-about-it-anyway" sort of a way, that I don't believe there is yet a solution for what will happen to the Delphi archive, with the result we may lose a bit of our history.
None
[Projoy] I can't help with the Delphi archive because I do not have a copy.
you mean this doesn't help, Lib?
Aunty Pode
[rab] If flerdle's comment about 'chooks' is any indication, I'm with her, but about 700 miles further south if her profile is accurate in respect of geography. To give a straight answer - near Sydney, Australia.
Arrival
Wow - I made it. Don't know how, given that the first leg of the journey was off, and the carriage I was booked on was missing from the second leg of the journey. My hostess pointed at a computer last night and said "broadband" which I've taken as an invitation to use it. It's quite fast (first experience of the same) tho' XP is horrible.

[Lib] Maybe that can be arranged.

[Dujon] I've never experienced any kind of antipodean transportation contrivance, so I shall shut up :)

IE on XP
So can anyone explain to me how it is that the world's richest and most powerful software company which produces what I understand to be the market leading in web browsers can't get transparant PNGs to display properly? I'll have to see if I can tweak the graphics to sort this situation out. But really...
None
s/leading/leader/.
Chicken update
Day 3. No eggs yet. Chickens beginning to explore their new home although still reluctant to use their ramp and had to be forcibly evicted this morning. Penelope has the most adventurous spirit and eats everything you give her, flerdle is the gentlest, yet seems to be top of the pecking order and is respected by the other two. Lib is the naughty one. Likes to steal food. All enjoyed a good dust-bath yesterday evening.
Dee Twintysivin
[BtD] Set up a live video stream and it'll be just like Big Brother - only more interesting.
chick-watch
Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. *brushes dust out of hair*
Great Hentertainment
If they don't want to use their ramp, do you have to put them to bed as well?
*worries about flerdle*
A little bit of logical analysis reveals the following:
1. Penelope eats everything you give her.
B. Lib steals food.
I conclude, therefore, that Lib must be stealing this food from flerdle. This conjecture is reinforced by the information that flerdle is the gentle one. What use is respect, if she is going to end up starving to death?
buckets of tea
I enjoyed the banter on cryptic croswords, as I am one of the worlds most dense when it comes to working them out. So it was useful reading all your hints on definitions and clues. Since last Friday whilst on Broad Haven beach, I've dabbled and its been most rewarding, although not getting anywhere completing any I feel happy with my 5 or 6 words. The cryptic game is a great idea, some of the answers are beyond me even with the explanation, just put it down to too many years of 'quick' crosswords.
Which brings me to Celebdaq I go away for the best part of a week with no acess to my pc and I end up on top... makes note to go on leave again and pencils in last two weeks of August.
BtD]We're having a barbie on Sunday, is it too late to put an order in for a couple of drumsticks?
None
Inkspot] No such cluck. But I know a really good organic and free-range farm you could try.
Cryticians
[Inkspot] Keep going with those cryptics: getting started is always the hardest part. Once you've got a few letters - especially initial letters - then more will follow.
*peep*
[Dujon] Yes, I'm up here, where it's nice and warm, a bit cloudy (oh, and dark, being night time and all). We really should organise an antipodean not-pilg in the next few months - there's at least 5 of us around the place. Sydney is quite central...

Hmmm, I'm hungry... *wanders off in search of munchies*

Strailian geography
[flerdle] Wouldn't Alice Springs be more central?
Out in the middle of bl**dy nowhere, mate
[Raak] The population of Australia is distributed like a thin smear of vegemite along the east and south-east coast. And since I'm in Brisso, Dujon and Kathryn are in Sydney, PaulWay is in Canberra, and I am under the impression, from "Advice" on MCiOS that there is a RavenBlack somewhere around here - but I may be wrong about that - Sydney would be the place to meet. Howaboutit?
Marmite
And very thin marmite vegemite it is too - (have a look at this table).
That's taken from the rather excellent Wikipedia
It's even worse than you thought...
And only 1% of the area of Australia has 84% of the population in it, according to this.
.... and ...
And 61% of the population lives in just the big five cities - which must account for a tiny percentage of the national area.
sex and chickens
I am, indeed, female. I also do not have a hen named after me. I will survive.
making up
snorgle] I am sorry - I've only got three chickens. However, if one goes broody, I'll be getting some fertile eggs for it to sit on and will keep at least 1 female progeny. Your name will be first on the list.

Day 4: They've learnt how to use the chicken ramp. Penelope made a bid for escape but was easily coaxed back with some parsley. The henhouse-mates are getting on well so it is unlikley that any will be put up for eviction. The sweepstake for the first egg is still open, so far it is:
Penelope: Penelope
flerdle: Boolbar
Lib: rab
chickens
Ok, I'll vote for flerdle. If she's the top of the pecking order, maybe she'll lay first. I don't know much about hens - do they normally lay unfertilised eggs every day, or every few days?
BTW - my last apropos brought up some interesting google hits..
Big Clucker 2003
It's like some mad Big Brother inversion. When will the humans for the chickens to look after be arriving?
This is Big Clucker
Nik] I'm already here! snorgle] Number of eggs depends on variety of chicken. Black Rocks and Speckledys lay about 280 (unfertilised) eggs per year, so I'll have about 16 eggs a week over the next three years. Black Rocks lay particularly high quality eggs and as the hens are being reared out doors on grass and natural feed (no egg colourant) I'm hoping the yolks will be bright orange rather than mass produced anaemic yellow. The most fantastic sponge cake I've ever tasted was baked with eggs from a friends farm and it was a wonderful golden colour because of the quality of the eggs.
Teach my grandmother to lay eggs ...
[BtD] If they're on grass do make sure they have access to plenty of grit somewhere, or else their eggs will have brittle and/or thin shells and may well smash "on delivery" so to speak.
Poulty husbandry
We used to have chickens until foxes ripped them to shreds. They would each lay an egg a day until we were so sick of eggs we didn't know what to do with them. I remember that on one occasion one of them didn't eat enough grit, and it produced eggs that weren't brittle so much as wobbly. Truly revolting, and a splendid thing to view at an impressionable age.
Wibbly wobbly ?
[Bm] Please do define "wobbly".
True grit
Blob/Breadmaster] Thanks, job done. They've got oyster shell (for calcium - shell strength) and grit which helps digestion (it grinds their food up. They also get a supplement of layers pellets containing calcium too. I've been reading an 18th Century book on animal husbandry and they used to bake and grind up eggshell and feed it back to the chickens. I’m fairly sure that this is now against the law (fear over build-up of pathogens and salmonella being possible reasons for this). The book (Cottage Economy by William Corbett) is full of grand ideas such as harvesting nettles and drying them for winter feed. Nettles are stacked with nutrients and we’ve got plenty of them so I’m going to try that one. As for foxes, I'm pretty sure these chickens are safe - hedgehogs may be more of a threat (they eat alive anything they catch). The run is enclosed, our garden has a 6 foot fence (usually adequate to ensure fox exclusion on its' own) and although the chicks are thick, they have learned to go in to their house at night. I've designed it so that the run is raised to cover the pop-hole, keeping them secure.
Still no eggs by the way. Chicken photos with Boolbar for uploading (I have no website).
Chick-o-vision
We want WebCams!
You can be sure of Shell
I have friends who have kept chickens for years and have always baked the shells to add as grit. I think it's only illegal if you're taking part in a commercial enterprise - ie selling the eggs, in which case you have to have them salmonella-tested anyway. I doubt any salmonella bacterium would survive the heat and desiccation of baking. But in the general view that cannibalism is a bad thing, I think you're better off not doing it. And 'define wobbly'? Well, I've seen an egg like this... it is egg-shaped, but instead of shell there's just a thick membrane - imagine a balloon full of water but not-quite-fully extended. Tasted fine though.
It had to be said....
Euwwww!
wobbly bobbly
Aha - a sort-of shellless egg. I see. Yughk. Though excellent for water-bomb (o.k. egg-bomb) fights ! Ha ha ! The yolk's on you !
Thin skinned
Funny that this subject should rear it's head. I boiled an egg the other night - in the fond hope of having a curried egg sandwich - and deliberately boiled it for 6 minutes. I had not eaten for around 48 hours and was quite looking forward to the feast. I left it in cool water for a couple of minutes, which is my usual ploy to avoid blistered fingers, and then grabbed it with the intent of stripping the thing naked. Now, I was half tickled at the time, but, when it simply collapsed in my hand in an approximation of the childrens' goo stuff that one sees advertised, I threw it in the general direction of the compost bin. Luckily my aim was straight (not bad from 6 feet into a 4" x 4" container). My wife was not impressed! I now have to search my locality to find someone who grows roses which I can nick. So, BTD, I look forward to your contributions on chicken (whoops, sorry, flerdle, chook) husbandry. I'd love to have a few banging around in the back yard but I suspect that, apart from local council regulations, my two cats might just have a say in that.
And again
EUWWWWW!
Lovely birds.
[BtD] I am unable to upload photos at work, but will do so tonight.
Dujon mustard
Dujon]:o) What rotten cluck! I'll be very happy to supply you with fresh eggs if I ever make it down-under or if someone invents a way of sending food as email attachments.
Cats are an endangered species here in Warwickshire. I witnessed a Buzzard attack on our own cat a year or so ago. The local Buzzard population is booming and There are reports in local papers of missing or mauled moggies. The chickens, however are safe. I hope. I think.
Boolbar] Yipee! And thank you.
Safe chickens
They may be safe, but I'll have to be careful.
Being buzzed ...
[BtD] Where abouts in Warks ? I used to live on the Staffs / Warks border, and spent many a happy day driving around the county.
We've started to get buzzards occasionally in & around Tring - (whereas I'd not seen one there for the previous fifteen years). I also saw a kite (of the feathered variety) fly over our house last year - I think it was just on a recky mission coz. I've not seen one since. But they're certainly spreading their territory from the Stokenchurch area northwards - loads round Thame now.
The Birds
[BtD] I like the picture caption at the top of that report :"The cyclist is planning to protect herself from attacks". Looking at the picture I assume that the cyclist is planning to disguise herself as a buzzard.
Who put the red in Celebdaq? err... no, that doesn't work... whatever
*finds all sorts of interesting things crawling around on the trading floor* OMG - I had completely forgotten I was supposed to be making money.
absent mindedness
*cackle*
elevation, elevation, elevation
You remember I told you my colleague was leaving? The boss and I just went out for lunch and a chat. We're restructuring... I get to be manager, get a pay rise etc etc...YAY!!!!
Yey!!
[pen] First you get a hen named after you, and now this. Yey!
promoting
[pen] Yay! That's excellent. Well done. Hope its a significant one!
modesty...
[Lib] 'Kin 'ell. I've only just thought about that. It's 20%!!!
Pen buys the next round
Yay! Well done! However, your namesake hasn't layed an egg yet.
egg-nog , anyone?
I'll admit I'm chuffed to bits. What's more, I may just be able to flog my tent (sleeps four, dark green tunnel tent, used once) to my soon-to-be-ex colleague who has snatched not only a hot-air balloon ride in the Northampton Balloon Festival on Friday, but also a last-minute ticket to the Stafford V Festival this weekend. Jammy sandwiches, virtual beers, Pimms and shandies all round. Unfortunately, unless BobTD starts squeezing chickens' heads, there's no egg-nog.
Yay!
[pen] Congrats!
Defining wobbly
Yes, what Penelope said. I can't believe she actually ate the thing though. [BtD] Nettles are great. They're terribly healthy. The Victorians would sell them at market as a vegetable. I used to pick and eat them frequently, partly for my obsessive healthy eating drive and partly because I was incredibly poor. You have to pick them as they are growing, not when they're old and raggedy late in the season, and you pick just the top four leaves. This means that you have to pick an awful lot to get a decent quantity. Then the best thing to do with them is steam them. They cook extremely quickly. You might think you would have to cook them for ages to kill the sting, but in fact the sting goes almost instantly, so you can treat them essentially as spinach. They taste similar but with a pleasant velvety sort of texture.
joining in the back-slapping and hoping for a pimms
Superb skills penelope. Sounds as though the promotion is well deserved. Hope the new responsibilities won't gobble up your 'online chief crescentess' time, though.
Whoops!
Forgot to add my congratulations. Well done, pen. [Chalky] I thought one of the management skills is "delegation" which, as I understand it, could be used to free up plenty of time for the same.
Delegates
[rab] Better that than delegating someone else to play, certainly.
Orangeless
Cross-posting of course, but a note for Orange MC players - the server which hosts Orange will be down for repairs at some time between 4:30pm and 7:30pm ET today (that's 21:30-00:30 BST). The outage should be for 20-60 minutes, and is to replace a broken CPU. Hopefully Orange will be a bit less sluggish afterwards, too.
Re: Orangeless
It's back. Not that it went away for long in the end.
A delegation of minions
[rab] Good point about delegating - and delegating someone to make moves on my behalf (especially in MC where you know my skills don't shine) has given me an idea. I'm going to be involved in the interviewing for the underling position(s) [tbc], so maybe I could ask the applicants to make a move in one of the games here, then you can all judge whether they deserve the job or not!! Whaddya think guys???!!! Do I have the skills to be a manager or not, eh? :o)
Filet Minions
Have a care before introducing professional colleagues to MC before you know them well. For one thing it gets harder to post cross rants about the bastards in the office in the Advice game.
Filet-o-Fish
[pen] I suggest a game of 'Straight face'.
pokered
[rab] Straight face? I guess it means anything but, but would you explain? :o)
Delegat-hen
[pen] Get BtD to stick a tube map in the hen-house. When pen-the-hen pecks at a station, that's your move!
[BtD] Did you get my email(s)? Hen pics are online!
Beef swellington
[pen] On the contrary. The aim of the game is to maintain a straight face while your opponent says things to bring this state of affairs to en end.

Meanwhile I'm trying to cancel my contract with the Carphone Warehouse. If I have to listen to Connected being played down a tinny old phone one more time...

Henpics
[Bb] url?
Me again!
It's amazing how long it takes for a salesperson to realise that the reason you want to buy something from elsewhere is that their opponents give a better deal and nothing they can offer matches up...
url
BtD is somewhat busy - so using some left over bits of HTML and sticky backed plastic, may I present . . . Big Clucker!
Geoshity
Ignore those pesky errors that pop-up. Geocities is the only upload place I can access at work - and they bung their own code on top.
chick flicks
[Boolbar] No pesky errors when I looked. Just three surprisingly pretty hens in a very clean place. Penelope's obviously a heart breaker, Flerdle looks mischievous and Lib rather enigmatic. So now we've had the individual mugshots, how about panning back so we can view the whole Big Clucker House and its environs?
slipping up a bit
[Boolbar] Sorry, I realised after I posted that you are the technical chief who enables the picture viewing. My camera positioning instructions should have been directed at Bob the Dog, the producer of the show.
Long distance chickcheck
Chalky] Acknowledged. As Boolbar says, I'm not at home at the moment, but I will try to upload a floor plan and more photos. Saskia is looking after the chickens while I'm away, she says they are being very good girls. No eggs yet. I'm not worried about the lack of eggs because the chooks are still very young and need to settle in a bit more. However, Penelope is looking particularly perky and her wattle appears to be turning red. Whatever that means.
wattling daubs
I know *exactly* what it means but I'm darned if I'm telling you.
a toast
[pen] Many congrats, both on your chicken namesaking and the promotion. I suggest you ask prospective employees one of two questions. 1) Would they straddle or strile in a half closed farkle situation if blue tokens were wild?, and 2) What's a good rhyme for "chihuahua"?
None
[blamelewis] Ah, the old trick question! [Hidden Text]You can't have a half closed farkle situation when blue tokens are wild, unless the blue tokens became wild after the half closed farkle situation arose. In this second case both straddles and striles are impossible until the farkle is fully closed. See Ackerman's thesis on half-closed farkles, a good bed-time read.[/Hidden Text]
None
F*ck. I would have fallen for that one.
Cickcheck
Day 9: Flerdle has grown in my absence and is now bigger than Penelope. Lib and Pen are probably about the same size now. Chickens were freaked out by a glider that went over our house, Pen making a dash for cover whilst Lib and flerdle tilted their heads this way and that in an endearingly quizzical fashion. All chicken eating well, they seem to like carrot - fed them the dried head of a sunflower yesterday - but they didn't really get the hang of it and the seeds had to be pulled out for them. At about nine o'clock, they tramped up their little ramp and waited for me to lock the pop-hole. They are such good girls!
Day 10: Still no eggs. Estimated (with help of a calendar) that first egg may appear on 26th August (Day 21), although a friend of mine suggests that they won’t really get going until mid Sept. I am very busy at the moment, but I will try and draw up a plan of living quarters and maybe upload it to a Big Clucker website (which for me is a big step, never having done anything more adventurous with HTML than this!) Looking for reasonably priced no-ad site host. Any suggestions?
chuckyweb
There are several sites like this one which try to recommend free site hosts. As they say, free sites usually come with little or no help and most have annoying adverts/pop-ups. I've used Vispa for 2 years now and have had no problems (except in the first week when they were down for a day). Their on-line help was adequate for my needs. There must be many other free ad-free site hosts out there, some of which may allow you to have your own webby addy (like www.bigclucker.com instead of www.bigclucker.isphostname.com).
Slooooowwww....
BTW, is it generally half-slow on the internet today - I can't get into MCiOS or eBay (due to timeouts) but this site is speedy.
None
. . . and no sooner do I type that, when MCiOS springs back into view. eBay is still way too slow though.
Again!
Ebay is now OK. Hmmm, it seems the moment I post something here, it ceases to be true.
Gosh, I am lacking in money.
living on air
Glad flerdle is doing so well. Have been at home sick for last two days, able to do a little work remotely, but generally bleurgh. *totters back to bed for a while*
sickbay
*sends flerdle a mug of virtual hot chocolate and best wishes for a speedy recovery*
Hennery
It seems to me that after all this chicken related discussion, this should be renamed the Bantam Page!
Eggstraordinary
crack'd
[Rab] How complimentary to have one's ideas confirmed as good ones prior to having them!
Reasonable, ad-free hosting
[BtD] I think I could probably be persuaded quite easily.
None
Although image-heavy pages (like the one blob presented) would probably kill my connection quite quickly, so somewhere with more bandwidth might be better.
Bantam?
[Thos, rab] "Sorry, old man, we don't understand your bantam!"
Blowing trumpets
For the second time, Dujon has hit the high point of Celbdaq - don't worry, fans, at 0600 BST this will change. Disappears back into left field chanting "percentages, money, percentages ..."
None
Have made a surprising discovery. Chickens love grapes. And porridge. Not mixed.
oooooh, hot chocolate!
[pen] Thanks, much appreciated. Am still not well, and not particularly enheartened by a visitor yesterday saying "Oh, I had that for six weeks" :-o

But that didn't stop me from going to the football today (my second AFL match, and why complain when someone shouts you? Just rug up warm); hopefully some really nice photos... telephoto gooooooood.

Few words
Sorry folks. Mini Cheddars. Bit confused. Two words? Really, penelope. Wrong game!
Oof!
I've been kneecapped!
Chopping
[rab] You and several others by the looks of it. Bravo all. I'm finding it tough to make any headway this time round, but I'm not bitter . . .
But what about the chooks?
Ooooh, strawberries have started to come into season here! Yay!!!
[penelope] I don't see the problem there. Oh, and your hot chocolate remedy works a treat.
I'm back!
...and looking forward to regular posting!
Advance notice
I've just ordered new disks, one of which is for the web server. At the same time as moving to a new disk, I'll be taking the opportunity to upgrade to newer versions of the OS and web server.

This is the first of 3 or 4 planned outages during the remainder of this year, and will incur the largest downtime - I hope to keep it under 24 hours but promise nothing. If anyone has a problem with the machine being down on a particular day this week, let me know, either here, or by email to an address that should be fairly obvious. If I don't forget entirely, I'll point out the cause for outage at MCiOS and/or Orange at the time.

As an aside, the other planned upgrades are: a UPS, more RAM, and yet another disk.

On another note entirely; Rab - it's really quite annoying that the HTML checker insists on apostrophe pairs inside title="". Still, I guess that's what &apos; is for; I'm giving up my contractions for nothing or no-one. Nothing or no-one!

Indeed
[Nik] Point taken - I'll have a look at the HTML checker and see if I can get it doing something more sensible viz the quotes. Will you be upgrading MySQL too? Not that - I think - I need any of the features of the newer version when I finally upgrade, but just curious.
Also...
[Nik] Obviously if you drop me a line indicating when it'll go down, I'll arrange for a backup to be made of the game data at that point. I'm away for the bank holiday weekend, but with sufficient warning can set up a cron job to do the business, so it's irrelevant really.
Calm down!
What are you saying, like? Don't trust me to not destroy all the data, like? Eh? Eh? A benefit of switching disks and installing fresh is that the current disk won't be modified at all during the process, so data should be safe, although I'll be dumping /etc, /home, /var and /usr to CD anyway (a slightly neater variation of which will become a weekly backup to CDRW). I might go to Apache 2 and Mysql 4; I'll have a look at their feature lists and see if it's worth the risk.
Just A Minute - 2003-Aug-11
In a complete change of subject, did anyone catch last week's Just A Minute? What the hell were they saying about celebrity colonic irrigations?
JAM Last Week
[Dr Q] Which bit? "I'm A Celebrity, Get It Out Of Here"?
Getting Nik's back up
[Nik] Well - I didn't anticipate any loss of data but I never thought having too many backups was ever a problem! I'm using MySQL 4.0.12 here without difficulties. The main bonus is subqueries (not that I use these at the moment) but there is a slight difference in the way certain priveliges work, so you might find yourself saddled with some additional admin overhead if you were to upgrade. I know nothing of apache 2 - last I heard it was "experimental" which I understand to be a euphemism for "best avoided".
Toxic celebs
[DrQ] The JAM reference: IIRC, around the time of the Aussie Jungle Japes, a group of D list celebs 'volunteered' [paid obscene amounts of money] to go abroad for a filmed Celebrity Detox Week [Ch4?]. Along with most of the viewing nation, I didn't watch it but in an effort to generate interest, the red top coverage glorified in the contents of alleged celebs bowels after CI. I'm told it was a load of sh*te and believe none of them have worked since.
Ding! Dong!
The disks is here! Expect angrycake.com to fall off the world in approximately not too long.
*pulls the big red shutdown lever*
Right I'll close the games so as not to confuse everyone...
*yanks big red lever*
*big red lever clatters to floor*

*ACME Maintenance Squad drives off faster than you can say 'Spare any change?'*

*proffers new red lever*
What cowboy did this, eh? Me you say??
Good to be back
As you can see I've tightened a few screws here and there. If you notice any bugs, tell me.
Woo-hoo!
Our long international nightmare is over -- MC5 is back! Well done, rab & Nik.
Minor layout bug
[rab] See Mini Cheddars for an example -- the last word before an <hr> gets right-shifted.
Oh
Not on my browser it doesn't... probably just a small tweakette required somewhere. ETF March 37th 2008.
grrr
It was justified text wot woz doing it. Now disabled which is a shame cos where it worked I quite liked it.
Jubilation
Welcome back, Rab!
It's back! It's new improved bluey whiteness! Horrah!
Layout bug
It was doing it on mine (Mozilla Firebird 0.6/Linux), which turned out to be a pain because I'm running it at 1600x1200 with small fonts, which required me to shift my eyes a relatively long distance....
Aye, Cone
[rab] Nice new look - particularly fond of the "Stance" heading (Len Ganley, anyone?). I'm afraid I find the icons a little murky, though... there doesn't seem to be enough contrast between the grey background and the ochre/blue foreground. Indeed, I cannot distinguish them at all using peripheral vision (which slows down mouse navigation). Maybe this looks better on your PowerBook LCD, but on my PC CRT it looks grey and blobby (haven't connected my iBook to the net for four days, so don't know how it looks there).
Bluey whiteness
Yea! Its back and its prettier! Well done all concerned.

Current score:
Penelope: 3 eggs
flerdle: 1 egg
Lib: 1 egg

What a fantastic start there from Penelope.
hmmmm
I actually find this font slower to read. Just so you know.
ooooh
It seems to look different at work... hmmmm
Hokey-cokey
[Dunx] I agree with you about the murkiness of the icons. They were designed in a dark room on an LCD display, and I'm looking at them on a CRT right now. I might apply some transformations to them later.

[flerdle] I used to use your browser default font, but now have requested a sans-serif one. In principle you can override it, but in practice it might be more sensible to go back to the browser default.

[all] Keep your opinions rolling in.

New look
Love the refit - although I agree with Dunx that the buttons are murky. But a really nice feel to the site now.
[rab] Well, the buttons look better on my iBook screen! Something I will certainly need to remember next time I do some graphic design work... there is something in the OSX settings panel somewhere to change the colour balance to match that of a CRT; don't know if that would help.
Chook update
Penelope: 4
flerdle: 1
Lib: 1

Go for it Penelope! (Perhaps it was the promotion wot done it).
Henquiry
How can you tell who laid which egg?
design
Very nice, although the transparencies still aren't displaying properly under IE.
Transparently
[Projoy] That's not my fault. OK, so it is my fault that I insist on using those new-fangled PNGs rather than the old-school GIFs. I think I know of a workaround, but will be fiddly to apply.
Hey! It's working!
I'm sitting in the kitchen, with not a wire in sight, posting this. Hurrah!
Range
[rab] Sounds like you get better range than I do/did. What base station are you using?
Big range in the kitchen
[Dunx] I suspect it's because I live in a smaller house than you do :) For the record it's a LinkSys Wireless Ether-G, or similar (the one that's a four-port ethernet hub and a wireless access point). It's in the next room, I would guess about 10m, with a wall and a half in between.
Four bars, though, even on a Titanium-clad patlop.
Titanium-clad patlop
Would you like to borrow my NS4 compatibility dandelion for that?
Egg Identity
Boolbar] Two ways to identify egg layers - a sensitive art!
1. We know that a chicken is about to lay because she gets all busy looking for somewhere to go. They lay inside the chicken house ('cos they like privacy) so we see them go in. The only confusion could occur if they lay at night or if we get flerdle and Lib mixed up.
2. Egg colour. As a chicken gets into laying, her first eggs will be small and pale. Libs, being the last to start are small and light brown and flerdles are medium and tan. Pen, being a different variety, lays speckly eggs.
font fickleness
[rab] What font are you using? I wonder why it looks different at work. I've worked out what the trouble with speed of reading is - the letters in this font are quite crowded (upright strokes are close together, and overall the space between letters is small) and rounded letters like p, g, u, d are quite large, in comparison, and quite squarish, which makes them more difficult to distinguish quickly. I'm not advocating a return to serif, just noticing things about whatever it is you've chosen. I will cope.
Font affront
[flerdle] I ask for 'sans-serif'. You may be able to change your browser's default sans-serif font. I could specify 'helvetica' which might make more sense, but I'd need to check my CSS book (which is at home) to find out how to do it properly.
The Great Egg Race
Lovely. I've just had me summer holidays - two days in Lincs with my Mum. I'm back home, there was a queue on the M25 and it's raining. What's worse, now I have to empty the vacuum cleaner with all the sucked-up spiders in it. :o(
Love nest
[penelope] Tricky. One could imagine them all jumbled up inside the cylinder and thinking 'as we're stuck in here for a while - why not?' - then mating like fury so when you do the emptying bit, a whole new generation of spiderlets bent on evil revenge, burst forth with the taunting cry 'ner ner ne ner ner' . . .
[pen] More likely the spiders nuked it out and ate one another so now there is one single spider left - a very LARGE spider with LONG legs.
'racnids
Pen] Just stick 'em in a bag and send 'em to me. Chickens love spiders. And woodlice.
Re: Font. I dunno about anyone else but I like this font more than the previous one.
the lesser of two weevils
[BtD] I would gladly send you all my spiders. For some reason (too embarrassig to go into here... well OK, he was a boyfriend of mine a long, long time ago), we 've always called woodlice 'jonathans'. And I have lots under all the plant pots in the garden. Can I borrow your chickens for a couple of days?
Guess what time it is?
Having decided to not rebuild the server again, I'll be taking it down for ten minutes later (this evening, tomorrow, never) to figure out what sort of RAM I need, and also to take out the old disk and screw the new one in. This process should be painless, requiring no software changes at all.
While I remember
I'm going away tomorrow (Sun 31st) for just under a fortnight. I may have sporadic connectivity from there but one can't really rely on it.
Have a good one. I'll try not to ruin everything in the mean time.
Celebdaq Update
Congrats in advance to Uncle Korky for his upcoming first kneecapping.

Ahnold is now over £200/share with no end in sight. Even Becks couldn't top that.
Spiders
[penelope] But why did you suck them up in the first place? Spiders are on our side!
Boris
[Breadmaster] I embarked on a spider-killing spree after being dumped. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Arachnids
penelope you are CRUEL,
I am sure that flerdle will back me up here - I get spiders in the house, in summertime mainly, which are 6" to 8" across the legs and varied in body size - some are an inch or two. Whilst I detest spiders - in fact the larger ones give me the heebie jeebies - I catch them and toss them outside. So, in future, behave yourself! "Four legs is better than two..." or was that something else? ... :-)
Hairy legs
[Dujon] Sounds like you've got some Huntsmans. Huntsmen. Whatever. Greeaat big black hairy ones. I've only seen them to about 4 to 5 inches across, managed to trap one in the bathroom at a former house under a plastic container - the tok of it against the sides was fairly alarming, and spiders don't really worry me. I put it outside.

[Dujon, again] Are you in Sydney?

Why I ask, is...
Cross-posting alert to people south of the equator: See "To be a Pilgrim" here.
spiders
Having Charlotte's Web read to me at a young age has led to a life-long, well, liking if not loving of spiders; so long as they're on their webs I don't really mind. We had one on the inside of our kitchen window and we put up a sign and my mother insisted on calling it Fred. A stupid lodger murdered it in an overly helpful cleaning frenzy, which also involved her throwing out numerous useful items..
It is back
Have not been able to access this site due to very slow (interrupted) download. Anyone else had this problem?
Dujon/flerdle] Chickens would probably love big spiders too. Would they travel well by air?
Pen] Saskia reminded me of something I've now put in 'The Beige Allegro'. Ring any bells?
hrmmm
Probably illegal to export them. You'll just have to selectively breed some over there, I think. Or send your chickens on holidays.
Eight-legged friends
I believe that the huge hairy ones that occasionally hurtle across the living room carpet are called "Wolf Spiders". I really like them and always leave them alone, because they keep the place clean and are rather cute. It may be an urban myth, but I heard that their venom is actually poisonous enough to kill you, but their jaws are too weak to bite through your skin, so they're harmless (unless you let them bite you on a wound, of course). Could this really be true?
Wolfspiderman
Breadmaster] I've never heard that one, but my Dad has been bitten by Wolfspiders many times. He claims it is akin to an ant bite. Congrats on your publication by the way.
Huuuuuuuuge
It seems difficult to get information about the precise toxicology of the spider venom. Or I'm not looking hard enough. No matter. A factsheet about huntsman spiders is here: huntsman. I think up here we tend to call all large black spiders "huntsman" spiders. A factsheet about Australian wolf spiders is here: wolf. The legs seem quite different, and huntsman spiders seem to be larger.
Why can I never prevent myself looking at pages about spiders? I'm going to be creeped out and itchy for hours, now.
Miss Tuffett
There are also Harvestmen which look like spiders but aren't... they're the really skinny, ethereal- and anorexic-looking things.
Cheers to Dr Q with regards to my minor success in Celebdaq. Now I fully understand what happens on a kneecapping. Call me naive, but I never realised that they took all of your existing shares away and you had to start form scratch again. Hmmm... well, as you can imagine, that was a bit of a surprise... On the up-side, I've now got a lovely green wad next to my name. On the downside, I had oodles of Arnie...
When I got kneecapped the first time, I got instantly bored and stopped doing anything on Celebdaq. But that's just me.
celebdaq
I am number one, I am number one, I am number one..(again). I would like to thank Mick Jagger and Stella McCartney for aiding me, (and others for getting kneecapped.) MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*peep*
We want more chicken photos!
Chickflicks and goodbooze
fl] Sorry - I have been very busy recently + I still use non-digital technology. Will do what I can. Just to say that the Chickens are thriving, lots of eggs (gorgeous yellow yolks). flerdle made a bid for freedom recently in desperation as she attempted to get at her porridge. When the garden vegetables have stopped and I've dug the ground (late September) I will let the chickens have completely free-range. They will dine on slugs eggs, centipedes, leatherjackets and other destructive pests, fertilising the ground as they go.
Continuing in the Good-Life tradition, I recently tried brewing Honey Beer to an C18 recipe (the chickens ate the mashed hops). It has a 2nd fermentation in the bottle and so every so often there is an explosion in the pantry as a cork pops out. This is no bad thing as I can have a little sip to see how it is progressing. My God it is strong. It is almost revolting, but oddly, once tasted it leaves you wanting more. Probably needs time. Has anyone got any recipes I can use it in if it turns out to be crap?
Honey Beer Gone Wrong
[BtD] I understand that once gone wrong, Honey Beer makes an excellent nappy soaker, paint stripper and fingerprint remover (that's removing fingerprints from your fingers, not from surfaces). I'd wear marigolds if I was you.
celebdaq
I'm still rolling along on the Ahnold bandwagon...right along side the Madonna/Britney Dividend Express. :)
Calling in from Ambleside
This is some really weird font here. Me no understand. Must sort out my CSS on the return. The school is going well but I need to return to listen to a guy from Sunderland explain density functional theory. More dispatches later. ttfn, rab.
Chickens
[Btd] Our neighbour has decided to install some chickens, too. He was banging and sawing pretty much continuously last weekend (while we were unboxing all our gear) and now there are gentle warbly chicken noises coming from his garden. No rooster, fortunately.
chick-chicks
Isn't it odd your neighbour didn't mention it before? "Oh, by the way, I'm getting chickens too!" I don't know, it just seems slightly odd to me.
bok bok bok
[rab] See! See! Not just me
[snorgle] You'll find it was Bob the dog who's Chicken Man.
I currently live in what would be classed as "inner city" (20min walk to the middle of the CBD), but it's quite low density still - blocks of units, but many individual houses. We really only have one person-neighbour (going anticlockwise: church, multistorey carpark, cliff and shop, more shops, neighbour in large house). Some friends have kept chooks (complete with renovated gardens for same), and I did hear about someone with a sheep, up in the hill just a little over. They used to take it for walks, on a leash.
[snorgle] Not really - we were moving in while the chicken coop was being built, so I suspect the decision must have been made a good while before we could ever have met the neighbours concerned.
We seem to have lost Thraxwhirl from the realms of the Celebdaq league...
f**k-a-doodle-do
[Roosters] One of my lovely neighbours has roosters, introduced a couple of years after we moved in. His attitude is "if you don't like it, move" but said in a more unpolite way.
bleary mornings
[Boolbar] Gun with silencer?
[flerdle] That's a good idea. But what about the roosters?
Dunx - chickens
whoops! I wasn't paying attention, and I'm awful at names - I often have to read back in books to check who is who again. We get quite a lot of horses running wild near me as there is a traveller site not far away. The local paper ran an article where a Belfast man now living in the area said he wanted to move back to the Garvaghey Road in Belfast as he felt it was safer, because his garden was constantly invaded by wild horses. Bit of an over-reaction, if you ask me. He said the police wouldn't help once they were on his property. I can't help but wonder if reporting the horses to a horse welfare society might be more likely to get a reply. He could say that they were in danger, and not just from him! (they do gallop all over the roads..).
Rooster booster
I have noticed that the gentle warbly chicken noises you get from hens has an oddly soporific effect. I have considered recording it to sell as a new-age aid to meditation…(Page goes all shimmery)
Are you stressed, anxious or hyper-tense? Why not try Bob the dog’s natural free-range homeopatic massage emporium! Yes! You too can experience deep massage set to the natural sound of real organic chickens. And for that full holistic experience, why not try the gentle scouring action of a detox colonic irrigation using the purest natural Honey Beer? Guaranteed to remove lethargy. Guaranteed to remove sensation.
honeytrap
Oh dear . . . every time the phrase 'Honey Beer' pops up on this page, I can't help but think of a porn star [y'know - add the name of your first pet to your mother's maiden ... etc etc].
Top Billing
[Chalky] Dusty Jaines. eeeek
Best girl's name ever come across in the course of my work (according to a male colleague...) Stella Foster
Comotose
[BtD] I'm with you, my friend. I do not have the pleasure at the moment, but a quiet Sunday afternoon with blue skies and chickens/hens going about their business is a most wonderful dream. Of course, if penelope's Stella Foster was in attendance - or either of them, actually - it would make the experience even more fulfilling. ;-)
Rev Canaan Banana
add the name of your first pet to your mother's maiden to make the name of a porn star? Mmm, I doubt that Snuffy Mander would be very popular. As for odd real names, I once heard of a Basil Crapster.
Khala Lamb
... hmm... not really.

and Beryl's would be Peter Ridge, most uninteresting.

One of my school/student friends was called Michel Joseph Thomas LeBlond de Tedesco. And he insisted on giving his full name on all official forms. I remember the Inland Revenue once sent him a post-reply form asking "Is Michel Joseph Thomas LeBlond de Tedesco one person or two?", to which he answered in the reply section "Yes." - and, strangely, they never followed it up.

a.k.a. Gigi Coates
Shouldn't really draw attention [because I've been contributing] but The Facial Nightwear Game don't 'arf crack me up. I really do LOL.
more wine please
Congrats to snorgle at No1 on Celeb MC. Unfortunately snorgle I wasn't around the last two weeks, so when I get round to it there will be a small break in the tables.
Ooops!
[Inkspot] Oh yes. Someone was meant to be screen saving those tables . . . . .
overcooked celebs
It's such a waste - hitting the million mark on a Tuesday - just after kneecap day and with a whole week to pick up dividends and do . . . well, nothing. Mind you, if Arnie's share price plummets unexpectedly, I could easily summon up some enthusiasm and check my portfolio - but that is unlikely, now some bozo has chucked an egg at him and he's picking up half page features in 'The Times'.
font
Is it just me or has the font changed? It's gone a diet and is all squished up!
fount
[snorgle] it's not just you.
Knowledge
Flerdle, how are you chook?

Regarding your RSVP apropos a pilge in Sydney: Regrettably I shall be unable to attend such a bacchanal - I live some 75Km west from 'The Bridge' and work 7 days a week. Should people (?) be prepared to come out here to the 'sticks' I could probably free up the odd hour or two - but it'd have to be pretty close to home base. ... :-(
A font by any other name ...
I run reasonably high resolution on my monitor (1280 x 1024) and it's pretty big and 'blocky'. What it must look like on a lesser resolution I shudder to thing. (Sorry, only being constructive) ...... Heads for the coop in the fond hope that he's not laid an egg!
Fumbles
'thing' s/b 'think'
Better?
[Font] Is that better? I don't see why the IE default sans-serif font should be so grim. I assumed that not being too specific about the font would be helpful, as it would allow people an element of customisation. The trouble is it seems that (on this version of IE at least, or the way it's been set up for public use) there's no way to change the default fonts, so you're stuck with something MS thinks is kewl.

There are two further ways that one, and only one, browser gets this totally wrong. (Can you tell which one it is yet?) Firstly it refuses to acknowledge the button backgrounds of the buttons are transparent. It also fails to put a border around the page. The latter is hardly a disgrace, but the former is very irritating. I will try and sort this out when I escape Ambleside, as well as doing the demurkation.

Meanwhile... crikee! This is the first chance I've had to sit down and catch my breath since last Sunday evening. Each day follows quite a harsh routine, with lectures from 9 til 12.30. Then in the afternoons we run up some hills to try and prevent the three-course-meal waistlines expanding too ridiculously before another lecture and a tutorial which is the point where I field questions about subjects I last learnt about four years ago when I was a student at the very same school. After dinner there can be a talk (one of which I gave) before running to the nearest pub and downing four pints of beer.

So today I've caught up on my sleep. Weather permitting I'll be doing a big walk tomorrow, and then it starts all over again for another week... It's fun, but I haven't been so tired since, um, about four years ago when I was a student at the very same school. (Err... we got that bit -- Ed.)

font
It's back the way it was now, anyway. Nice stream of consciousness there, Rab!
no change, actually.
[rab] Glad you're getting so much exercise :-)
The text in the Name and Apropos boxes is different to that in the final display, and that in the Stance box is serif. I think I'm just going to have to live with it.

[Dujon] What a shame. Dunno about a "baccanal" though - if we could ever get our act together, at most it would be four of us (and any surprise unknowns), and I don't drink much! It's been settled, I'm heading down thataway in the first weekend in October, but won't have a car, so I can't make it up the hill, as it were. I'm mainly going to be in Dapto visiting a friend (err... whee?). Ah, well, at least I tried. I might return to the area before January, but am really unsure about that.

Whatever happened to...
!York? I have been cast into the wilderness since its unceremonious demise. Am I back on track here?
Welcome Back Tujmeister!!!!!!
!York went the way of the Dodi back in February. A mysterious entity named called "Mordac" is apparently going to set it up again at some point; as for now, everyone's migrated to here, Orange or MCiOS. YAMCS is also kaput

Anyway, welcome back, and here's hoping you're back for some non-stop hot MC thrill-seeking :)

Tuj!
Welcome back Tuj! Hope you enjoy the new look of MC.
[rab] I'm using IE6 and the border is there, the buttons have transparent backgrounds, and the font was fine even when everyone said it wasn't.
[Tuj] Horrah! You're back!
Celebdaq update
Ahnold's incredible rise has tapered off, but, in his words... "I keep coming and coming; I'm coming all the time!"

Tuj!!
Welcome back - long gap but glad you are back. This site has sort of filled the !York gap for me.
Arty-farty
Hello. There's probably not much point telling you about this as the exhibition finished today (sob!) but nevertheless.... On saturday I wandered to Liverpool to go to the Tate gallery there. There was an exhibition on by Janet Cardiff which was truly mindblowing. Is a little bit difficult to explain but it was an audio thing. Thomas Tallis wrote a 40 part motet (unaccmopanied song for 8 choirs of 5 voices each) and Ms Cardiff has recorded this on 40 microphones and it is played through 40 speakers at head height around the edge of the room. So you stand in the middle and get the full picture and then can wander round the room listening to each part. It is wonderful! I'm sure it'll go on to other galleries, so look out for it!
Well, nice to be recognised...
Mordac... sounds Arthurian. As I regrounded here I'll probably stay, having not really got into Orange, MCiOS etc. Let the games begin!
40 part motet
[Lib] Yes - I raved about this in another place back in April. I believe it's going to be at the Whitechapel Gallery, or some such, very soon, and I concur - go see it!
[Tuj] His full name is Mordac the Preventer, and he may or may not be a figment of Simons Mith's imagination...
Spem
I have several times performed the Tallis in the round - that is, with the eight choirs surrounding the audience. Only then do you get the full sense of the way the music travels through the performers - sometimes working its way round the circle, sometimes bouncing back from side to side. It is a work of the most astounding technical virtuosity - the forty parts are all truly different and independent, yet the resulting complex is very, very nearly entirely free of parallel fifths (a sort of technical shibboleth in Renaissance music) (we found one once, but I can't now recall where it is!). It is said that the piece was conceived to be performed in an octagonal tower in the (long-vanished) Nonsuch Palace, with a choir in a gallery on each side of the tower. (One quibble with the Tate website's description - Spem is hardly a piece of secular music ...)
Spem, Spem, Spem, Spem...
[Wol] Do you, like all other singers of my acquaintance, derive enormous and, for once, highly justified amusement from its name?
Spam in Aluminium
Wol Breadmaster] I have no idea what you mean ;o) In my artstudent days I composed a piece of music for four suspended washing machine shells. I wired them up with loudspeakers and played through music composed using recorded church bells heavily distorted by volume so that they resonated as they swung. The piece was divided into four movements which progressed from shell to shell. The idea came from a play on the word cycle.
[BtD] Wring Out The Bells?
Wonderful ...
What is it with singers and their puerile witticisms? Sometimes I think all those jokes about sopranos are justified! (Q: How do you put a sparkle in a soprano's eye? A: shine a torch in her ear ...) Sperm in Ovum; Lo, the Full Frontal Sacrifice; O Slap your Glands Together; I mean, they're just not funny, are they? </snigger>
Watty, re: Mordac] I can see nothing's changed around here then!
Report
[Boolbar] This means I can now officially support those versions of IE on which this page works properly. Which is probably some sort of oxymoron or something.
IE6
For the record, this page has always worked fine on my IE6 too.
IE6 et al
Same for me, also in Safari.
IE6? Feh.
No apparent changes on Mozilla Firebird/Linux.
Old MacDonald had a farm, IE IE 6
With a woof-woof here too. I've just been having a cool glass of my Honey Beer. Why has this page gone all woozy? Your my blest frwend you are . . . . . . .
Change any subject you don't understand, just like BtD did...
Is it me, or are there pretty much two games of face PJs going on here? Yon Centurion Three has a distinct flavour of it. See you've finally got round to shoving all those cryptic crossword clues somewhere ;)
I forgot to put deodorant on again this morning. Is this what being a busy manager is all about? *whiffs*
me too!
[pen] AArgh, I've done it too! Thanks for reminding me as I'm still in the building where I live so can rectify the situation (and my next port of call is likely to be a changing room at one of the clothing outlets in the monstrosity of the Trafford Centre, so you've reminded me just in time!). *phew! Lib breathes a sigh of relief and mentally appreciates Pen's managerial skills*
Academia
The notion of deodorant is academic given my lingering state of insobriety hanging over from last night. Oh dear. One day I will grow up. The amusing thing is, of course, is that I'm about to give a tutorial.
Odourising Trafford
[Lib] Surely being stinky (sorry, 'glowing', or whatever is you female sorts do) around the Trafford Centre is the best way to assure yourself of not being squeezed to death? Oh, but how I hate that place.

Hm. Three (any more?) of us in the Manchester area - the stuff of a micro-alterna-pilg. And there's a Mornington Crescent to boot (photos of which I never did get developed, and as such are probably degraded beyond use now).

The area
I believe _tim_ and JLE reside in these parts, though I haven't seen the former around for a while. Hangover just about gone now. What a day...
More Magic
After a week wallowing in the bowels of the Celebdaq mini-league and a trip to Britany I have managed to climb on top of snorgle to No1, for this I'd like to thank David Blaine. Can gil get there next, after I've been kneecapped?
Now that Arnie is dropping I hope that Darren and Graham III will return to the fray.
Manc-y-ness
[Manchester] Yay! Lets have a Manchester Pilg! Yay!

[Trafford centre] Had a v good shopping spree and the Trafford centre was surprisingly quiet (although I did wonder whether there was a by-law stating that EVERYONE must be pushing a pram), but I had a nasty experience. Whilst trying on a top I somehow managed to get poked in the eye with the clothes label (the cardboard one). I found this rather surprising as I wear glasses and had my eyes shut. Anyway it hurt and I cried. I pulled myself together and got on with my shopping. 12 hours later its still very sore, so I've just meandered down to A&E and got some drops, don't seem to help much though. *Lib saunters off, feeling slightly silly that such a small injury causes her so much grief*

[Lib] I once managed to scratch my cornea with an overhead projector. Don't ask...
Mini-Burgers
Looking at the most recent Mini Cheddar I'm reminded of something known as the "Noisy Burgers Equation".
Eye too
Lib/CdM] One speck of lime fell into my eye from a badly rendered ceiling once. I have never experienced pain like it. Once in hospital a well-meaning nurse gave me a routine eye sight test despite the fact that I couldn't even open the affected eye. My good eye was so full of tears that I couldn't see the A at the top of the card. She told me that I needed glasses. Logical I suppose. Get better soon Lib - in my experience the drops do help - eventually. If it is any consolation, your namesake has just laid a fabulous egg. Her eyes probably watered a bit too.
Eye's to the Right!
[BtD] Glad Lib's laying well, it is rather exciting to have a namesake! And you'll all be relieved to know that my eye is feeling lots better tonight.
forgetful
And thanks for the sympathy! It worked wonders!
Eyiiiiiieee
[Eye] I have a small tear in my cornea. If my eye dried out overnight (central heating, restless night, alcohol) then when opening that eye in the morning the lid would pull on the tear making it worse. I couldn't face any change in light intensity for a couple of hours without the feeling of a sharp needle in the eye. Liquid tears for the best part of a year did the trick. NEVER use eye cleaners like Optrex though. How did I do it? Would you believe a poke in the eye from a sharp stick?
Trust me, I'm sort of a...
[Boolbar] Recurrent corneal erosion, if you want a name for that; not uncommon, and as another of our correspondants will tell you, v painful. Artificial tears (lubricants), preferably unpreserved, used regularly, are really the only thing that helps.

[Lib] Get thee to someone with a decent slit-lamp biomicroscope :-) So cool, eyes seen really close... but you're probably fine by now. Owwww, anyway.

[BtD] Lime and other caustic burns can be REALLY bad. *shudders* (oh, and if anyone was wondering about first aid for them, force the person's eyes open and wash wash wash. Oh, and wash. Forget about those piddly little bottles of eyewash, shove their head under a tap/hose/shower. Stay there for 20 minutes, the caustic action keeps working even if you've apparently flushed it all out.)

Oh, and another thing - heed the warnings on eye drops to discard after opening (unpreserved) or a month after opening (preserved). Trust me, I *know*.

err... and when I said "force"...
... I meant, gently hold. but make sure the eye is open. They will thank you later. Honest. *resists posting pictures of what can happen if you don't*
[flerdle] Ta for the name. The only fun part of it was visiting the Doctors who shoved some fluorescent dye in my eye to see what was going on. I had green glowing eyes for the next hour.
Fun dyeing
Oh yeah, that stuff is fun, and it stains clothing wonderfully. If you blow your nose, your sn... anyway, fluorescein (the dye) also glows under UV light. Something not to mix with contact lenses, because they absorb it.
Glow in the dark eyeballs
flerdle] Even more reason to do it - especially as halloween is just around the cornea (waak waak).
Severe eye injury
I just suffered one right now -- I brought up www.bbc.co.uk and right there was Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. My retinas decomposed immediately in defense....
Concrete Evidence
[Boolbar] Being the other correspondent which flerdle speaks of, I can agree that it's bloody painful. The offending item was a corner of a piece of concrete board, and so I agree with flerdle that there was a good chance of there being some nice cuastic damage there too. It's been fifteen months, and I'm getting less frequent and less severe pain now, but still... I'd really rather not have to deal with it.

One unexpected benefit of our new house is that because it has aircon, we have no need to run fans in the windows and so I no longer sleep in a breeze which stops my eye drying out so much.

Top tip: drink water before going to bed, then some more after you've been to the loo in the night.

Manchester Pilg
"Manchester will celebrate a Europe-wide transport initiative - In Town Without My Car Day - on Sunday when part of Deansgate will be closed to traffic." This seems just the sort of thing to stagger around drunk during. Anyone? I can be in town between around 12:15 and 21:00.
Well, sort of without
Is one fully participating in this pedestrian and velocipedic celebration if one drives most of the way to town and then proceeds on foot? How much walking distance does it take to cancel out the sin of driving?
car-free day
[Nik] I wonder if someone will go mad and drive through the ribbon? :)
Angry Cake Walk
Aha ! Further to discussions in the Lock Cup, I googled mc5 and discovered the angrycake link - the rab.org one don't work no more.
blob
Hello! waves
Walking and rabbiting
[Nik] I would love to join you but am flying off to Dresden on Sunday morning. [Blob] It does you know, you're probably trying to go to the wrong place: http://www.rab.org.uk/mc/ redirects you here.
Blaine baiting
snorgle it looks as if my prediction of last week was out and gil ran out of steam. But I see that rab your playing the long game with a couple of slow burners.
But the League is nicely poised for some upsets tomorrow's divi payout especially from Dujon who got the jump on me buying the same stock but an hour or two earlier.
Momentary outage
(Where 'momentary' is defined as 'any period of a few minutes or so'). That was meant to happen. I finally got around to removing the old disk completely. Much quieter without it, and the various bits screwed back on. There's still going to be a further outage, for RAM, and RSN, but given my propensity to not do things, that could be days, weeks, or aeons.
Outreach
[Nik] I don't spect anyone else noticed. I got a range of Awuga! Awuga! alerts, which did little but alert me to the fact that these pages deal better with error conditions than I thought. Which is a reason to be cheerful, to those of you who are listening.
Mm, that caused me a bit of a panic. Turns out I'd forgotten to start mysql during boot, though. Whew.
Noticing
I noticed, but only because I couldn't get here for one iteration of my Crescent polling loop. No deaths occurred.
mysqld
[Nik] The message was surprisingly informative :)
Blaming Blaine
[Inkspot] You doing some inside trading? I deliberately traded to get my quids under the £1M mark the previous week - no point in being kneecapped unnecessarily - and hoped for a 100% + weekly run in order to 'earn' two green wads. It worked - fine - but how do people get 500% + ??? I thought I was sitting on top % most of the week! So much to learn, so little time ...
Missed Birthday
I've been away (working!) in Cornwall so I've missed a Birthday. Many Happy Returns Boolbar!
Middle-aged? Who me?
Oddly enough I almost missed it as well.
Bool] 93 is'nt middle aged. Or have I got that wrong?
Yes, you have got it wrong - it should be isn't not is'nt.
I wo'nt make that mistake again!
... although I believe the correct term nowadays is middle youth. I'll look it up once I've found where I left my pipe and slippers.
celebdaq
[Dujon]You're right to blame Blaine - I had about £60000, sunk it all into Blaine at just over £2 a share. The share shot up, and the publicity was massive so I got over £400 thousand in dividends! That's why my percentage was so high, but it's going down now. I'll be kneecapped Monday as I have £1.6 million, so I'm trying to daytrade my £830 thousand dividends to top £2 million by Monday. We'll see how it goes. Blaine is still pretty cheap, so I might sink my £10 thousand into him again..
Away
Although I expect to log on tomorrow sometime, I should warn that I am in Dresden the next two weeks. This will probably make no functional difference, as I think I'll be getting a desk with a puter on it.
Slurring
[Shnorgles] Oil accept that fer moment - good luck an' all = shleepy time nar - the battle of the virus (virii) has been fought; we're in a stand off at this pint (!) in time. ... hic! shee uer layder.
hair of the dog that bit you
Dujon - are you sober yet? ;)
[Dujon] I had to double-check that my name wasn't attached to that; I'm in the middle of my regular saturday afternoon 'see what I put on the internet last night' routine. Thankfully, it seems I restricted my drivel to text messages and phone calls, this week. Mostly talking to people in Pirate, and demanding they do the same, I vaguely remember.
Bright eyed and bushy tailed
Nice to know I'm not the only one, Nik, and thanks for your enquiry, snorgle ... :-) I've spent the last couple of days fighting computer viruses - Urrgh. In the end I re-installed everything on the boot drive and changed my anti-virus program! I was celebrating last night as I was so pleased to back up an running ... sad innit?
pop-ups
[Dujon]Congrats! I am convinced that when I went to download something, but changed my mind, I actually downloaded some kind of spyware or something. This is because I'm getting the same pop-ups again and again, even when I don't have microsoft internet explorer open. I did run a spy-ware remover (it needed 2 goes!), but maybe the website recorded my ip address? Believe it or not, the ads are all for a pop-up remover! One said that there might be spyware on my system, so I should buy their product. AS IF...
pop-off
[Snorgle] You don't need to have your browser open to receive those blasted things but, to the best of my knowledge, you do need to be on-line (though I'm prepared to stand corrected.) They have been a recent phenomenon for me, starting to appear in the last week or two; I just 'x' them. I shall see if my latest virus/firewall combo stops them from appearing - only time will tell.
messenger popups
[snorgle] no, it's not spyware, it's just a new kind of mass-market spam which appears to use Windows Instant Messenger rather than email. (Although I've several times told Instant Messenger not to receive messages, an instruction which it cheerfully ignores.) Feel free to simply delete the messages and ignore them, and if you find a way of suppressing them, please post it here so we can all know ;-)
pop-up hell
I have windows XP at home and ticking the nice firewall check box that goes with the dialup doodah stopped those pop-ups. Sorry, can't help otherwise.
Pop-ups? What are those?
Mozilla Firebird + Linux. Haven't seen a pop-up in almost an entire calendar year. Mind you, it tends to cut down on the usability of cricinfo.com.... :)
pop-up weasels
No, its not the windows messenger spam, because I'm on windows 98. I checked on www.grc.com, and tested for that anyway, and nothing came up. It's got a couple of links to websites selling programs to spam people this way, which is quite interesting. One of them has a page explaining how to turn off your messenger service as well, so I guess they got complaints! I may try firebird..
pop-up-tastic mate
Hmm, I've not seen anything like that. Of course, I use Opera on my computer at home with Win98 or Mozilla and Mandrake, and at work, although I use the browser supplied on the computer (Internet Exploder) I have a crippled version of WinXP (which I have spent a great deal of time and effort crippling - finally, Windows Messenger got the message and pissed off).
not speaking
I've lost my voice - well the interesting part of it anyway. All I'm left with is the raspy bit that makes me sound like Mariella Frostrup but without the knowledge of the arts, or the looks. So right here is the only place I'm going to talk today :o)
Madeupname
I didn't know who Mariella Frostrup was so I googled her and found this. Is this what you meant by knowledge of the arts Pen?
[BtD] Yup.
*waves to penelope*
mute
*waves to flerdle and opens mouth as if speaking but no sound comes out*
xwds
Has everyone given up on the crossword game ? Pity if you have - I was enjoying it before I went away on holiday - and then got frozen out of here. Ho hum. Never mind.
sneezy
I think it's going around pen, I'm off today as I only slept 2 hours last night because my damned nose keeps dripping! I hope it wears off for tonight..
Attishoo
[snorgle] You hope it wears off ? Well if you rub it too hard it just might !
Top banana plus
Wahay - I'm no 1. Thanks to Johnnie Vegas. Shame Frank Bruno's not listed.
[penelopeeee] Good to see you back, albeit in trappist mode - which, when you think about it, doesn't really make much difference in here. Did you have a nice break?
[Everyone with missing voices & drippy noses] It's a nasty virus, this early autumn cold - made my mum quite ill.
[Blob] I fear you may have to tempt the experts back into the Vault with some fiendish clues. Haven't had much time lately, besides, I'm only a learner.
breaking up
[Chalky] Lovely, thanks. I'm fitter, browner and wiser than I was before. I was working as a volunteer for the National Trust, something I've done several times before and they seem to like me. I have been asked four times now if I would consider being an assistant project leader and I'm starting to break under the pressure. There's something coming in the post and a nomination form has already been sent off. Whoops. :o)
blob - atishoo
that sounds like a line from a song..
celebdaq'n
Who's Johnnie Vegas, and why am I glad I bought 86000 shares of him when he was under £2/share?
Dive! Dive! Di... no, hang on, never mind.
Mysql failed to start during boot, again, despite me adding the relevant whoojits and doodads. Odd. Still, back again, for a while. Hopefully the new memory won't be flaky.
[DrQ] Johnny Vegas is brilliant, but indescribable (yet not indescribably brilliant, I just can't be bothered).
HAPPY HAPPY!
Hello, I'm smiling lots today. Why? Well, 1) I'm on holiday 2) I found a favourite top that was eaten for a few months by the wardrobe monster and 3) I'm reunited with my laptop (which is more your austin allegro of a model compared to rab's whizzy apple thing, but I do love it dearly) having mistakenly 'Lent' it to my brother a year ago. Has taken me ages though to put the settings back how they should be! But is nice to be reunited with my first (computer) love.
First love
My laptop is at the computer hospital, and I'm bereft without it. Looking around for some other means of distraction, I've discovered a strange kind of primitive "disk" made of sheets of thin white stuff with black markings on them, mimicking words on a screen. I'm not sure what kind of machine I need to read them, as they won't fit in the video, but they're propping the table up very well.
rant about my colds
grrr... I HATE colds! I'm sudafed AND sinex and they're not having any effect. At least the pain-killers work..but I'd rather be at work, feeling reasonable well. That's 2 nights now I've only got about 3 hours sleep.
last rant
er..I'm ON sudafed and sinex obviously, although if I take any more tablets I may turn into one.. :D [BM]Try your visual interface for that format.
codes
[Snorgle] I find decongestants just dry up my membranes, which is exactly the opposite thing you need to happen with a cold - you're snotty because your body is trying to get rid of the infection via mucus. (sorry to those that have just breakfasted.) There's a foolproof remedy for sleep. You need: Olbas Oil, a thick teeshirt, a lemon, a bottle of whisky and some honey. Apply several drops of Olbas Oil around the neck of the teeshirt. You will be sleeping in this tonight. Boil the kettle. Put two generous spoonsful of honey into a large mug, pour on boiling water and stir until the honey dissolves. Squeeze the juice of half a lemon into the mug, and top up with a generous slug of whisky. Breath in the steam and drink the honey, lemon and whisky as hot as you can. Go to bed, wearing the eucalyptus-flavoured teeshirt, and sleep like a baby. Works for me - good luck!
hot toddy
Sounds good to me! I've already been using lemon and honey, as its delicious, but I don't usually drink whisky. I think I may try brandy instead. I'm sure I've got olbas oil around, somewhere under a pile of tissues..
knockout!
[Snorgle] Excellent. I think it's a combination of the steam clearing your tubes immediately before bed, the vitamin C and cleansing action of the lemon om your throat, the soothing of the honey (and it has healing qualities too), the topping up of fluid intake for the night, and of course the immediate knock-out effect of the brandy or whisky which sends you to sleep before you know it. I once gave this to a flatmate who was distressed because she was so uncomfortable with a cough and a cold... she hated the idea but I bullied her into drinking it and within five minutes I heard snoring coming from her room. :o)
Grüsse aus Dresden
Hello from Dresden. I came prepared for vast expanses of brutalist architecture and am pleasantly surprised to find large open spaces, old buildings (the opera house is particularly fine), not to mention fabby restaurants and bars. German cities have a tendancy to be a bit thin-on-the-ground nightlife-wise, but not this one. The conference is going well, although I don't think I'm whoring myself around as much as I should be given that my contract runs out next year. Oh well... [Blob] Re crosswords - I think there's still demand. Once we're back up to full numbers I'm sure things will continue again. And, to be fair, you weren't frozen out, you just lost the URL. Which is not the same thing at all. [Colds] Hmmm... feeling a little funny today in the head and throat department but I am not getting a cold. Oh no.
avant-garde viruses (or is it virii?)
Viruses are stupid. Ok, so they barely register as life forms, but if they did useful or interesting things, then maybe our bodies wouldn't go into overdrive to eject them. They could, for instance, turn our fingernails red, (without pain or swelling) or make our hair go an interesting shade of turquoise, and everything would be fine! But oh no, they have to and reproduce by making us miserable. I say we should ban them until they get their act together!
snooooooooooooooooooooooze..
I'm back in work, as I was able to sleep last night. I don't know if it was the brandy, honey and lemon, or just that the cold is getting better anyway, but I'm happy. I can't function on 3 hours sleep. I probably would have taken today off too, but I'm supposed to be covering for my manager tomorrow, and I needed to get up to speed. At least it's quiet this morning.
at home today and feeling a bit chatty
[penelope] So. This NT assistant project leader thingummy. Would that be full-time? Like a proper job? Would you have to resign from your shiny new PR job? Like a *BIG* decision?
[snorgle] I've got a sniffle-in-the-nose and a tickle-in-the-throat which is a bit worrying. Especially as it's my daughter's thirteenth birthday tomorrow and our home is going to be invaded by nine [yes NINE] newteens for a 'sleepover'. I must be bonkers. Brandy, honey and lemon now top the shopping list.
[rab] Nice to hear news of Dresden, me ol' china. Although I lived in Germany for 11 years [child of the forces], the cities of East Germany were but names with disquieting connotations and never to be visited. The closest I came was a longish spell in Berlin which I remember as a gloriously spacious city. Even though I was young, I still have a sense of the amazing architecture and the night-life. However, the salutary reminder of its isolation from the west came during my train journeys to boarding school which crossed the eastern zone. At the checkpoint, the window blinds would be firmly lowered and we were instructed to stay in our seats and not move under any circumstances. The train travelled really s-l-o-w-l-y, just to add to the tension. I really must return to the area if only to rid myself of these residual childish fears.
It's back!
For any fans out there, announcement on the BBC News page: Doctor Who to return in a new series, scripted by Russell T Davies, and produced by BBC Wales.
Trusty
[Chalky] Nope, not full time - just the odd week or weekend on a voluntary basis, mopping up teenage tears, giving tool safety talks and eating instant soup. Nice to be thought of as being capable though - I never even thought I was grown up until now.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
PANTSMC IS DOWN!
more posh pants
DrQ]Lets hope its just an upgrade.
Although I have not seen Graham III around the boards for a while, my congrats on going to No 1 on Celebrity MC , together with that evil_edna you've turned the table upside down. (Do you think that will entice Darren back? I do hope so.)
sheepishdaq
Hullo folks. Haven't been online much, though have now at last got a modem sorted on my home computer, so have been updating my celebdaq thing occasionally. Once I have a job sorted so can justify spending ages on the internet I'll probably be seen a bit more around here...

Oh, and thanks for the congrats...
gurt haaaairy beasties
NIK - DO NOT GO TO THIS PAGE!!! Most likely this is a Lycosa godeffroyi, seen this morning on the way to do the washing, downstairs. The ruler is actually a little closer to the camera, so the scale isn't perfectly accurate. A medium-sized common wolf spider.
beastie
DAMN that's big! It looks sort of velvety, was it really hairy?
[flerdle] Nice pic. Only a couple of days ago I found a real biggie on a wall. I had a really good look at it, should have got a photo. This one was really hairy.
long-leggerty beastie
flerdle] Did it manage to get the washing done?
Big? that's LITTLE
[snorgle] It seemed to have short hairs which were fairly flat against its body, giving the velvety look. So - yes, very hairy. Completely, even. And you might notice a white-yellowish bright spot near its front - that's a reflection off one of its larger two eyes. I should have taken an even closer shot. Next time.
Two legs good, eight legs even more efficient.
No, but it's going to clean the floor later, if I can teach it to use the mop wringer.
Hardly Itsy Bitsy
[flerdle] Re-spect! My wife was certainly impressed, pretty much along the lines of "We're never going to Australia!" One question: how does one relocate a spider that size? Or do you just work round them? And how fast doo they move?
OK, that was three questions.
Octalegs
Dunx, I can assure that they can move very fast when they wish to. Usually they are quite docile and just amble about the place but, should you miss on the first attempt at capture, they take off like greased lightning - one second you think you've caught them, next they are five metres away.
My method of capture is a container wide enough to encompass its legs without cutting them off; from above bring the container in line and, quickly and carefully bring it down on top of the beast. The trick then is to get a sheet of cardboard (or similar) to slide between the wall/floor and the container whilst at the same time keeping the arachnid within the container. Given that they are built to fit into and through very narrow spaces this can at times be a challenge.
Yes, they do bite but I understand that whilst it can be painful it is certainly not a life threatening experience. Like most snakes they would rather just get out of the way and will only have a go at you if they have no other choice (e.g. If you get into bed with one!) For the sake of your good wife I might mention that such a situation is so rare as to be non-existent, although someone once said it happened to them. My son is quite happy to let these things walk over him, through his hair and the like ... me ... err, err. I did have one run over my hand - many years ago - when I pulled the mail out of the letter box; it was quite soft and not at all like I would have expected. Truly!
Stuttering
Whoops! How the 'eck did that 'appen?
Double vision
Answer: It didn't. I had a double post up there a minute ago ... must go and see the optometrist methinks.
You rang? :-)

This one, when I tapped the bucket, ran away quite fast, doing a couple of little skips/bounces as it went. I have caught them for relocation using the method Dujon described, but usually I just leave them alone. And yes, I've seen much bigger, Dunx, but let your good wife be not afeared - the big fellas like that really are quite harmless. And soft/light/delicate/shy.

Wibbles
They still give me the heebie jeebies, flerdle! Anyhoo, about time I went to watch the final of the local aerial ping-pong game. Not that I care, but seeing as your local team is in it, I'd best keep up to speed ... ;-)
Collywobbles
I watched it with friends/relatives; some delightful play, and some dreadfully disastrous play (one fumble is brought clearly to mind). Ate lots of junk food, watched it on tv with the sound down, but with Roy & HG on the radio, it was hilarious. Keep an ear out for them next weekend with the other unmentionable code's final.
PantsMC
[Dr Q] Let's hope it's just a computer crash that will right itself soon. Unfortunately, Mr Pants himself wasn't the person who actually *programmed* the MC server, he was just its host - i.e. the one with the password-access power to start and finish games. (Surprisingly, perhaps, the password is not "Badgerline" - I've tried it, and it doesn't work. ;-)

The actual programmer of PantsMC, apparently called Tim, has completely disappeared from the net years ago (and never, in any case, played MC, being no relation of the _tim_ who appeared on Old York and was infamous for Really Bad HTML.)

(PantsMC was, despite its best intentions, probably never the equal of the Old Delphi server...)

PantsMC
Still down at 8.38 pm.
Pants MC
STILL down at 11pm! Neeeeeeeeeed to play! have moves to make! People to put in nid! *getting withdrawal symptoms*
ooh pants!
Still down..oh dear!
Pants down
Can anyone join in? ... :-(
Ouzo for breakfast
Greek restaurants seem quite common here in Dresden, and we have just returned from brunch at the local one. We seem to have got a bit of a reputation with the staff who seem very keen to take the mickey out of us at any opportunity. The local pub seems to employ only the most beautiful staff. Inge seems to be the most favourite, although there are a few votes for Steffi. Yesterday afternoon we were in town and tracked down a huge, beautiful palace that somehow we missed on Tuesday. Last night we ended up in a bar that had a woman dancing away in a box, and who wore a range of increasingly scanty outfits for each session. At first we were rather nervous about entering the establishment, but it turned out to have quite a normal, mixed clientele. I do like Abroad. Especially an Abroad where there are no spiders, and my pants stay up. Here endeth the second dispatch.
PANTS
*getting the shakes*
Pants still down
I've only ever made one move in pants. Things seemed very slow in there - it was weeks before anyone responded (probably as much a comment on my sense of humour than anything else). Welcome Mr Prune!
I like the Pants community, but it does tend to be slow sometimes, and it's not helped by the way the site renders the games as huge tables, which usually only display when the whole page is downloaded. Also, there's the lack of a simulpost detection system. These could be fixed if the site was reprogrammed, of course...
pants
Thanks! I don't know about it being slow - we had things going along quite quickly, then suddenly BOOM! No more pants! For the record, 2.23pm, Mon 29th September, and still no pants. (Sadly not a comment on my social life!)
I looked at Pants but it seemed slightly scary. Those tables look like charts on the wall of my old science classroom. It brought terrible memories flooding back.
Bigpants
Hello everybody, another Pants refugee here. This is my first posting on any other MC related site; I disvovered Pants a couple of years ago and it has proved adequate for my meager needs - until today!! Didn't take me too long to spot some familiar names though! (Its 5.45pm BST on Monday 29th Sept and Pants is still down)
Pants refugees
And here's another one. I have played briefly on Not York (before it too vanished) and at Orange, both under different pseudonyms, and I've also been posting under this name at the Lockisseum. Nice place you've got here.
Welcome, fellow Pantaloons!
Enjoy your stay, which may be permanent, here at MC5. And BTW, for those of you who aren't familiar with making moves with HTML...

What you type and what appears
<b>foo</b> = foo
<i>foo</i> = foo
<small>foo</small> = foo
<hr> =
Yeah, hi all those also from Pants. It's a pity if Pants doesn't come back in some form. Still, there's still this, Orange and MCiOS.
Incidentally, I note the Fortean Times chat forum has started a Cheddar Gorge thread! Heh!
Angus and pseudonyms
Just out of interest, what other pseudonyms have you been on other servers?
My other names
I was Dexter at Orange and Courage the Cowardly Dog on !York. I remember my finest hour probably being on !York, where I managed to goad st dogmael into attempting to pass off "Bugger Me! My Auntie's On The Roof!" during one particularly lewd game of Boardman's: I was using some pretty dubious constructs and he took it and ran the length of the pitch, up the terrace, out the gates and halfway round the world to Auckland before he touched the ball down.
[Angus] Yup, that'd st d.
(please insert the word "be" before the enthusiastic saint's name, there. I seem to have dropped it at a crucial moment)
A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag
I like st d. I have a feeling that people thought I was his alterego (probably because of the 'dog' bit) after the MCiOS ban he earned. But just for the record, I'm not.
Valediction?
Has Mr Wildpants been spotted recently? Perhaps he can shed some light on situation. I had a hunch that the server was shuddering to a halt - some of the games have been around for nearly a year now and have all but fossilised. Pants was my introduction to online Crescentfun, so will always hold a special place in my thingy, but life moves on - anyway, I like it here, and there [MCiOS] and that other place [Orange]. Nice people.
!York archive!!
Yay - I just did a search on wildpants and found that York is still with us (sort of). I tried to do a link but failed so here be the address: http://madeira.physiol.ucl.ac.uk/people/jim/crescent/
ooerr
Does anyone want to see pictures of what I saw while walking home tonight? Don't worry... or maybe do... it's... well, it's not a spider...
yes - go-on - don't keep us in suspense!
oh, if you insist, bu it probably means I'll never get visitors now. *grumble grumble*
Ok. I've also moved the spider picture.

Like I said, this isn't a spider. This was perhaps a 45minute stroll from the centre of the city, and it was pretty dark at 6:30pm. It's near the top of the largest hill in the area, which isn't too far from the river. Brisbane is fairly green. I don't know how I noticed it, as it was about 5m away, diagonally upwards. Look here and then here.

I take no responsibility for heebie-jeebies.

Ooooooh!
Well spotted. Looks like a healthy little bugger as well. :)
I take it you don't work for the Brisbane tourist office then?
pretty pattern
Is there any chance next time of climbing the tree to gett a bit closer? I'd be interested to see the pattern on the back of its head.
one word...
err... no. The tree was fairly spindly and a bit rough, and in someone else's yard. And I'm going away on Thursday, and it'll probably be gone :-(
or try this...
[Inkspot] or have a look at this; best enlargement/detail I can do.
urgh
... and sorry for any incoherence/misreading/whatever I might be doing right now; text is always hard to hear tone, Inkspot, and I'm currently suffering bad, bad hayfever, and extreme tiredness... g'night all. *falls off chair*
Aww, poor flerdle. We should treat our snake snappers more considerately. Here, have a hankie.
Wow!
I wish I lived in a country with things like that. Just my luck that the only foreign place I've been in for any length of time was New Zealand, where the most interesting wildlife is a pom pom on legs.
pants
Still no news I take it? ten to eight tuesday evening, and still no pants!
[BM] What, a dust puppy?
Pants
The PantsMC player profiles page is still up and working. I have sent MWP an email at the address you send your profile, though what good it'll do I don't know. I haven't had a reply yet, but it was only about 24 hrs ago.
Late arrivals at the discussion between Bob the dog, Dunx & Chalky up there...
Probably just my perspective, having ducked out of the whole MC circuit for a while (and having stuck solely to !York before that), but this place has a feeling of the afterlife, or a nuclear fallout shelter about it - in the best possible way. There's a lot the same, familiar faces and games, but somehow you always end up thinking about the ones who're missing, and the classic games of the past.
Did I really just type that?
Pantsy
The esteemed MWP has been spied in the Lockisseum, and said more or less that the outage is probably permanent.

I hope the games can at least be recovered...

Well, at least that would give me closure on the red name issue! I wonder if a new MC site will spring up elsewhere.
[Rosie] That was because the player profiles page was hosted on Mr Pants's own VirusPlanet server, not on Cream.org.
Profiles of Pants
[JLE] The new one that Alfredo García has is on Geocities. http://www.geocities.com/pantsmcprofiles/profiles.html
Tuj] !York had inbuilt character because it had lived a bit. This site has an embrionic character of its own and is fertile ground.
[bob] And also because the move from Old York to Not York was pretty much seamless - !York was up within days, and Old York carried a redirector page to the new address. So there was pretty much continuity there, which the disappearance of York *without* replacement doesn't achieve.
Hmmmm...
Two dead links on the front page. I shall leave them there as a reminder to whoever to get an archive together which I will link to when put in place. Mind you, I can't see why !York at least couldn't be made live again.
However
On a more positive note, if there are any Pants refugees wishing to take residence here then I offer my warmest welcome to you all, and could even be convinced to get a new game going in celebration. In fact, I wonder if it's time for a couple of new games now that the current ones have been running for a while. I might nominate Centurion as a possibility, as one that never really caught on.
New Game
[rab] One of the most popular games on Pants was Animal, Vegetable, Mineral. Perhaps that should be added here?
AVM and Abstract
I loved AVM & A - an excellent game for bringing out the competitiveness/stroppiness/impatience in some players - snorgle's obscure polecat being a memorable example. heheheheh. Blimey, I'm reminiscerating already.
sorry -just practicing
Thanks Dr Q
Chalky - stirring
Dammit - it was a caracal lynx! You think you'd remember..
snorgle's whatever
So it was. I didn't guess it anyway, despite frenetic googling.
New games
(Dr Q, Chalky) I agree. It would be nice to see that. Also Jeopardised, which for non ex-Pants members I should explain meant you were given an answer and had to provide a question. I think we can take it that Pants is as dead as the Norwegian Blue, but if not, and only "sleeping" I have to admit I'll be back, as old habits die hard. One of its best features was the chat space available in all the games.
Jeopardised
[Rosie] I think you'll find the very thing in Orange MC.
Informal game chat
[Rosie] I agree wholeheartedly (including the return should the server finally cool down.) Whilst Pant's format was in some ways limiting that particular facility was most useful, in that one could quickly scan recent entries and 'have a think' and whilst doing that have a chuckle at the comments. Rab, I'm not complaining!
Much later
[Rosie] Two things if I may. Firstly, did you receive a response to your e-mail? My system is doing some odd things at times; it gives me an error message and, at the same time, tells me the mail has been sent. Secondly, you being interested in weather, you may be interested in this site - http://www.bmcc.nsw.gov.au/weather/?Submit=I+Accept - the site is a good 3000' higher than I, so it's not really indicative of my weather. It's quite a neat set up though.
Wiggly things
Was that a Diamond Python? It looks a bit like that to me, not that I'm an expert; my son would give me an instant report, however, he's not here. Anyhoo, they are totally harmless - even I will let one run around me (apart from the neck) they're constrictors.
Lost again
That was supposed to be addressed to our resident herpetologist. Sorry, flerdle.
*waving*
Hello Friends from pants. Is nice to meet you all.
Chill Blaine
I had to be in London today. By 4.30pm my meetings were over so I wandered over to tower bridge to see Mr Blaine. It was not disappointing. The wind was getting up and he was swinging around quite merrily.
Blaineless
Oh. Is he still there?
David Blaine and other animals
Presume so. Glad I'm not the only one paying NO attention to stupid Americans! Speaking of stupidity, what's everyone's take on this Russian Roulette gig of Derren Brown's? (Is it odd they have the same initials?)
before your very eyes
I hadn't heard about it, so I googled and found this. Isn't this an old illusion in a modern context? Stage illusionists in Houdinis time regularly had members of the audience disemboweled or eaten by lions for maximum shock tactics. What Derren Brown is good at is publicity. If you saw a magician in a local club doing this, you'd probably not bat an eyelid.
Blaine - oh him!
I was in London last week, the taxi driver (who had just had an altercation with a large and very tatooed van driver) puttled into the traffic near the Blaine thing. "What's the holdup?" I inocently asked. "Oh, it some f***ing idiot in a f***ing glass f***ing box," taking deep breath to refresh expletive store, "causes nuffin' but f***ing trouble, all the f***ing idiots slow down and rubberneck, pain in the f***ing arse." Glad I asked, really.
Tag der Deutschen Einheit
Day off today, as it's German Reunification Day, which appears to be celebrated in absolutely no way whatsoever. I'm not sure what one would do - maybe create small model walls and knock them down or something. Anyway, this means that there's no physics lectures (hurrah) and an opportunity to head into town and take some pictures. At least, now that the fog has lifted.
Laying the Blaine
I went to see him a while back. I thought it was actually quite interesting - I was struck by the fact that he's not suspended very high, so you can see him more clearly than I anticipated. At least he's only there for 44 days - Simeon Stylites stood on his pillar for 30 years, and even patriarchs and emperors went to see him.
Rab - are you living/working in Germany?
Nope
Just a short visit - two weeks in Dresden on a 'workshop' which is a kind of low-talk-density conference. Back home tomorrow.
Einheit
[rab] I'm struck dumb - there really is a concept for which the German word is shorter than the English. But I s'pose Einheit is really 'unity'. Reunification (13) is Wiedervereinigung (17) - and rational order is restored. Phew!
sub atomic worm hole attacks carrot
In the game AMV is there a limit to how small you can go, as I was wondering last night, about atoms and molecules. Is a uranium atom "mineral" or is it abstract because at that scale it is millions of atoms that make the solid object. Once I started thinking of this (it was late) I also wondered about neutrinos, quarks, string and unstable waves in the 11th dimension (I had do stop somewhere) when does somethig stop being AVM and are sub/atomic particles allowed?
atom?
The atom is the smallest possible "mineral", because it, by definition, is an element. Anything underneath that (e.g. quarks, pions, leptons, gluons, neutrinos, photons, etc.) is abstract.
Hang on
So where's the distinction between mineral and animal? Animals are made of atoms. And we count parts of animals, such as a leather jacket, as animal for these purposes. So a fragment of bone would count as animal, even though it's just a big pile of calcium atoms. So what about a single atom removed from that bone? Is that animal, while an identical atom removed from a rock is mineral? If we say that both atoms are mineral, then the difference between animal and mineral must lie in the form rather than the matter. But then a dinosaur bone has animal form but is made of mineral matter that was never part of the animal. Chalk is clearly a mineral but is made of what was once animals. In fact, given the existence of the "rock cycle", in which volcanic, metamorphic, and sedimentary rocks all turn into each other - and into animals and plants and back again - with slow but ineluctable regularity, it seems that there is no objective dividing line between any of our three categories, and it's all just arbitrary.
[Breadmaster] It's only a game!

Going back a bit, I did apply to load the revolver in that Derren Brown thing. I got as far as having to do an audition tape but it never went further. Probably I was just too strange.

[BM] If it is alive/dead but the components thereof have not sufficiently decomposed to the point where it would be considered a mineral by geological standards, then it's animal and/or vegetable. A cricket ball, e.g. is both animal and vegetable. Bone, if that were the object in question, I would list as animal and mineral.
Or they just found the idea of Darren and Derren on stage at the same time to be too disturbing...

[BM] All sounds a bit quantum, to me.
What you're trying to do is draw definite lines along fuzzy boundaries, which looks OK from a distance but when you look closely, well, aren't.

Pedantic? I?
[Darren] "Only a game"? You won't win anything with an attitude like that, my lad!
We had the same argument over SARS when that was a subject -- was it an animal, vegetable, or mineral? A virus is a non-cellular collection of ribonucleic acids which merely attaches to an unlucky living cell and sort-of-passively uses the cell's contents to propagate itself.

I'd claim it's a mineral, but others would have a valid argument otherwise.
And what about mushrooms?
'shrooms!
Fungi in general would be considered vegetable.
Derren
So do we hope he snuffs it or what? (Refusing to get into highly confusing conversation about anything below sub-atomic level)
Dr Q] How would you class Harry Potter?
[Btd] Animal/Abstract.
rushing roulade
I'm staggered they're showing Russian Roulette on TV. There was enough trouble with Jackass!! What the f*ck is going on? In a way, I hope he cops it. Would teach the lads at Channel 4 a lesson, eh? Mwahahaah!
The trouble with all these illusionists doing "high-risk" stunts is that we all *know* they'll survive it. It's like an adventure movie, you always have the nauseating knowledge the protagonist will come through in the end. Of course, there have been the rare occasions where it's all gone horribly wrong, but frankly I much prefer smaller, close-up magic than the hyped-up stuff.
continued....
So, you may ask, why did I apply for the Derren Brown thing? Well, having seen his other TV shows, I wanted to see what it would be like, simple as that.
later...
[Dujon] Sorry am late replying, visiting friend near Wollongong, and with travel and all I didn't have net access for 48HOURS!!! I coped though :-). I don't know much about identifying snakes, so can't help you there much, but it did look like some sort of python, and was about 6ft long. I put a closeup of its head (and so some of its pattern) in that same directory, if I hadn't mentioned that before.
AVM distinctions
There is no problem in distinguishing between A, V and M (provided we can agree on a definition of life). Animals have life and a nervous system. Vegetables have life and no nervous system or brain. Minerals don't have life. The definitions include derivatives of Animal and Vegetable eg leather jacket, plank of wood, as has been mentioned. Inkspot puts his finger on it when saying there is a limit of how small you can go and to reduce it to atoms leads to meaninglessness. Even reducing it to molecules causes great difficulties.
And ... there's more!
I believe that, in the main, the idea is/was to have a target which is commonly known or which can be readily deduced rather than something esoteric. The whole idea is simply to give participants the chance to exercise logic and have a bit of fun in the process. In my opinion the use of 'string', as in the twine variety, is fine; the use of 'string' in the quantum sense is rather obtuse to most people and thus not in the spirit of the game. We all have our areas of special interest and should avoid the use of terms which are specific to experts (amateur or otherwise) in those fields. Well, that's my two bob's worth. ... :-)
I agree. It is easy to think of words/objects that cross the boundaries, but are they really fun to play? Surely it is the responsibility of the chairperson to set objects that are interesting, logical and entertaining. Dujon] This is my one Bob's worth!
AVM
If someone tried to put up something like 'a calcium atom from an animal bone' no-one'd ever get it and they'd be seriously looked down upon in future. I don't know how many bob's that was. Maybe Bob (the dog) knows best.
Bobbing up
Agree with all above. Also, from experience, when In The Chair - it's worth considering how attentive you can be for the following few days. DrQ's 'mineral' moved along fairly swiftly, even though there were plenty of questions - all down to the fact that he was 'here' and could reply quickly. Ten bob please.
Hide your pants!
Under the circumstances, shouldn't the Pants link icon be removed from the main page?
Tightening belt.
What's a suitable period of mourning after, and if, the illness is terminal? Perhaps we should await completion of the Coroner's enquiry.
Having Enquired
Dead as a Dodo. Mandatory period of mourning - one more day.
Efficiency
Coroner, sir/madam, you are the most prompt and effective government official whom I have had the pleasure to meet. Now; rab's laid out the welcome mat - ta! Cushions, check; sofa, check; glass, check; whoops! where's the bar? ... ;-)
Reptiles
[flerdle] Sorry, just read your post re your slithery friend. I suspect the D.Python. Welcome to the south, sorry about the cool weather; now if you'd been here las......
cool
[Dujon] Ta. I *likes* the cool weather, and yes, I consider it cool, rather than cold, which is a good thing. But then again I'm near the coast right now, and it has been up to something like 15 C. The weather was really good until this afternoon, when it started raining. Oh well, more time for hot chocolate drinks and good books. There go the plans for rock-climbing tomorrow (although I would have merely been watching). We have managed to watch not one, but two movies in a couple of days - remarkable considering I haven't gone to the movies in a very long time. I would heartily recommend Pirates of the Caribbean. Hrmm, Lara Croft etc etc (2) is passable; I admit I'm not a fan, I hadn't seen the first one or played the game or read the comics or whatever else there is to know about it; I kept being distracted by her lips (not attractive, I'm afraid), and Chris Barrie trying to be serious (?!?)

Oh, and I have another photo, but that will have to wait till I get home. It was near the foodscraps bin this time...

Yeah, Pirates is pretty good, and fitted in well with the ride. I just saw Stephen Fry's Bright Young Things yesterday, which I'd also recommend.
Stephen Fry and Other Geniuses/Genii/Genies
Has anyone been watching QI? Fabulous! Incidently, what is the plural of genius?
ii us
And what is the plural of platypus?
snorgle
Platypi. And very tasty it is too...
My back
Five hours in Frankfurt airport and a hangover. Yum. But yesterday was another day.

[Inkspot, a while ago] Although using an abbreviation might be classed "cheating" I really cannot find a way to explain the meaning of 3er WG using anything shorter than "communal dwelling shared by three people" in English. WG stands for Wohngemeinschaft, btw. And 3er is not an abbreviation. It's a genetive, of all things.

[Darren, et al, re links] I refer you to this comment I recently made on the subject.

QI
Angus] 'Sbeen good, hasn't it? Heard one review saying it was the ISIHAC of TV, though I wouldn't quite go that far. Though it's closer than anything in a long time.
Quite Interesting
I keep missing QI, it's the type of programme I love, so I must really make the effort..
Quirky Intellectualising
It's not ISIHaC, in my opinion - not even close - but it's a superb half hour's entertainment. Fry is magnificent [isn't he always?] and last week Alan Davies was not just very funny, but even managed to 'outbuzz' Jeremy Hardy.
I must confess that I'm about to switch on Ch4 and watch that eejit doing his 'live on air' russian roulette thing.
rolling russian
Oops! I missed it. Is he dead?
bullet chamber 3
snorgle]He missed.
Rab]The only 3er I know about is the conker my son Owen has. I shall get my revenge! there were some great conkers in the churchyard round the corner from us.
Conkers
I once kept a conker for a year after it survived the school conkers season. However, in its first match next season - it was a 67-er, mainly by virtue of picking up all the points from other conkers in the "last man standing" stakes - it didn't so much shatter as squish.
All Conkering
Some time ago, I lived on the Northants/Cambs border. A small village nearby, Ashton, played host to the Annual National Conker Championships. Serious stuff. I wonder if it still does? *wanders off for a quick google*
Freakout
What-ho, ladies and gents. How are we all this fine eve? My sincere thanks to Dr.Q for informing me of the sad demise of Pants MC. I think a minute's silence sould be observed. Nobody post here for another minute. Thank you.
hail fellow well ......
OK - minute's up. Hi Thrax :-)
nosing
Where have you been, Thrax?
World Conkering
Blimey - that Conker thing I mentioned - it's the WORLD Conker Championship, no less. Second Sunday in October. That's a week today.
Freakout
Hey there, you two. I've just been hither and thither. I've just had a go at the Pants game, but for some reason my entries didn't come out right. No bold, and all my 'return's didn't work. I feel glum.
glum-busting
[Thrax] A couple of pages back, DrQ posted some helpful hints for highlighting text which includes the 'tags' for Bold, Italics, Small Font and Drawing a Line. If you use the same symbol pattern that he has shown - ie. the pointy chevron ones to the right of the letter 'M' on your keypad, the tag for line break is 'br', and the one for new para is 'p'. Usefully, in here you can 'Preview' your entry before you 'Submit' it.
Recap on basic HTML
What you type and what appears
<b>foo</b> = foo
<i>foo</i> = foo
<small>foo</small> = foo
<br> = [new line]
<hr> =
HTML
(Dr Q)"small" (got to type it like that) doesn't seem to work with me. I tried it in a comment in the Limericks. If I just use "s" as a tag it gives a crossed out word. Any ideas?
Smallish
[Rosie] It did work. If you are comparing the size of your comment type face with that of snorgle, don't. She used a specific font size command (on this occasion size 4 - that is, '<'font size=4'>' before the comment text and '<'/font'>' after the comment. (without the apostrophes - DrQ is more clever than I when it comes to HTML; I have no idea as to how to show code as text. I think it's a 'tt' and '/tt' command, but I'm not sure as to what else is required)
Size is everything.
Whoops, sorry Rosie, that should have been -4. See the difference below. 4 is obviously the larger.

Hello

Hello

< and >
[Duj]
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Take two.
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Thanks to the good Dr.
Let's try that again, then.

<font size=4> This is it
<font size=-4> This is it
<small>This is it

This is it
This is it
This is it
Humble pie.
Sorry, I was experimenting and hit the wrong button. Turns red and disappears.
It is colours with me
In the past I have used browser friendly colours on this site - but they came out oddly. They seem to be working now, according to the preview button. Let me know if you see anything different...
FONT COLOR="BLUE"
FONT COLOR="RED"
FONT COLOR="MAGENTA"
FONT COLOR="GREEN"
FONT COLOR="#63bdb5"
FONT COLOR="#006B84"
FONT COLOR="HAMPSTER"
small furry animals
[BtD] The first four and the last have come out as "named". The two variations of green [nos. 5 & 6] are very pretty and have codes within the "...". Was that intentional? I have attempted to post this in "hampster". It may end up as a dead hampster, ie. blue.
web colo(u)rs
For lots of colours that can be used with most browsers put this in your favourites
Dead furry animals
Sadly, a blue "hampster". Yes, the hexadecimal codes were intentional because there are no names for these colours.
If I had to name them...
Hospital Corridor
Blue Pants In With Whites
colouration
Ah, the famous 'pants left in wash'. As for your hospital corridor, I've never seen one that colour... It is the colour of the disposable drapes we use for knee replacements, arthroscopies and various other orthopaedic procedures. Also the very flattering hats we have to wear in theatre.
costume departments
[Angus] You're an actor? Or perhaps a theatre critic? Oh, how thrilling! I don't care. I've switched off my brain because I'm going to Nice for a holiday tomorrow :o)
Um, no...
Actor on the weekends. The rest of the time I'm a nurse in theatres, getting to see peoples insides. Such fun!
Breaks
Pen] Your namesake laid TWO eggs yesterday! Have a good holiday. Angus] Adds a new dimension to the phrase "break-a-leg".
oh yeah
Does too. Tell you what, never getting me on a motorbike - seen too many remnants!
Angus] My Mum was a radiographer and made me swear I'd never ride a motorbike.
HTML tricks
(Dr Q, Dujon) Thanks. I must save this page. BTW I still can't get used to typing "Rosie" instead of "ro987". Whoops, what a giveaway.
I doubt anyone will have the opportunity to use it now, Rosie, hehehe.
Of course, although HTML doesn't list all the colours by name, you can get some nice colours by putting a random word or phrase into the 'color' bit. So this colour, for example is 'Werewolves of London'.
Of course, that's where the Hampster colour comes from. I wonder if you can reverse engineer that to find a phrase from a colour?
You mean...
Swansea Summer
Conservative conference hair
Road Squirrel
Nurse!!!
New Labour
[penelope] I hear it's very nice in Nice. Here's a Colour Chart for guidance:
How about ...
Before the Côte d'Azur
Day 1 in the Côte d'Azur
Return from Côte d'Azur
[Ibid, BtD] I think Newborn's Nappy is more apt than the Werewolf thingy.
This is a wonderful distraction. I'm supposed to be revising for a computer exam tomorrow. Playing with font colours counts ... erm ... doesn't it?
[BtD] Interesting how your "New Labour" comes out in proud Tory blue... Quite suitable, really...
colouration (again)
Chalky - your 'return from Cote D'azur colour' is me after stepping outside my front door in December! I burn so damned easy...
burn baby burn . . .
[AP] Then you'll be in need of Bob the dog's Nurse!!!
Codes and Code Looking
[Dujon] re: displaying codes as text; what you're after are a couple of HTML entities for the '<' and '>' characters - these are &lt; and &gt; respectively. The <tt> tage you mention only changes the typeface used to display the text, although I usually prefer to use <code> (as you will see if you view source). In summary, then:

You typeYou see
&lt;<
&gt;>
&amp;&
<tt>teletype text</tt>teletype text
<code>code sample</code>code sample

Note Be very careful with these - it is tremendously easy to miss out a semi-colon and completely wreck the effect. Use Preview if you can!

Yes I Do!
People seem to be missing the simulpost messages, so I guess I ought to check they're still being displayed.
Churn
And then...
It does...
Yeah, I guess that's not as in-yer-face as it could be.
darren brown
was it a trick??
Code breaking
[Dunx] Thanks - I did try the code tag but, because I did not use the commands for the greater than/less than, it obviously fell over. One lives and learns!
Look no stance!
The AVMA players may find it easier to be less chatty now - you can be stance-free if you're still managing to be apropos.
But I like standing!
See?

Stands

Arnie for president
snorgle]on Dujon's shoulders I see.
I'm not collecting them on purpose, honest.
As promised, another photograph; you have been warned. Huntsman. A small one. Note the different shape of the legs, much more crab-like.
Igitt!
Makes me really glad that I live somewhere boring like the UK. I would also wager that one of its legs is missing, and I'm not sure if I find that more or less preferable to a fully kitted-out version.
Incy wincy
Yes, it may harbour thoughts of revenge..
Half Mast
[rab] Nicely done on the greyed out links. I shall probably just remove them, I'm afraid.
Stunt double
I saw David Blaine in Tescos this morning. Do I win £5?
[flerdle,rab] "The spider we want is the one who tore off that leg."
arachnophobia
I didn't have it, but I do now! Yeeks! Please tell me such a thing has never been seen in good old blighty! Having just spent twenty minutes watching 'Infested', bugs are not on my hot list right now. Made the mistake of watching Life of Grime too - never again...
one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight
[rab] It's not unusual to see the odd 'peg leg' wandering around.

Which reminds me ...
At the risk of boring you to death. About six or seven years ago I was sitting in the 'bar' (actually the garage) of a mate's place and was positioned next to a largish double sliding glass door which gave access to the rear of the house. Whilst enjoying the afternoon sunlight beaming through the glass (that's the door, as well as the hand held one!) I noticed a wasp wandering up the pane. It was about 2" to 3" long and was dragging a huntsman spider up the door. I had heard of wasps paralysing spiders and laying their eggs within but had never seen the act. Anyway, interesting as that was at the time, some twelve months ago I had a wasp buzzing around in my workshop - it's not unusual and usually ignored - which finally got itself tangled in my hair (what's left of it.) Naturally I brushed it away. When I did it dropped its load; a load that I had not realized it was a'carrying. The bounty which it had lost landed on the keyboard of my computer which I was using at the time; it was the legless body of a huntsman! Urrgh! It turns out that the wasps paralyse the spiders, nibble off their legs at body level and then lay their eggs and secrete them within the little dirt cells that they build. It gave me the shivering quits for a couple of days, I can tell you.

beastly happenings
[Duj] Thanks for that. I suddenly find that I can't face my Weetabix this morning.
One potata
[Dujon] I refer you to my previous remark.
Oh my God!
[Dujon] That is possibly the most traumatic thing I have ever heard. Thank God that disgusting item didn't land IN YOUR HAIR. However, I was under the impression that the things that paralyse spiders and lay their eggs on them so that they get slowly devoured by grubs are not wasps but ichneumons, which look similar. Ordinary wasps, however, do carry body parts in the way you describe - I once watched a wasp attacking a bee, which it did by sitting on its back and systematically chewing through its thorax. When it finished it flew off with the abdomen - presumably the yummy bit - leaving the front half of the bee staggering around until I mercifully squashed it. Perhaps what you saw was the aftermath of a similar act of piracy. The mere existence of the ichneumon, by the way, was partly responsible for the Victorian "crisis of faith", because many found its existence impossibly to square with the notion of a good creator God. Incidentally, I will keep your anecdote for when I need to terrify my girlfriend. She refused to come to bed last night because a SMALL MOTH was sitting on the wall. Well, that's what she said anyway...
Poker
[Spiders] I see your spiders (*shudder*), and raise you The Japanese Spider Crab: The biggest crab is the Japanese Spider crab (Macrocheira kaempferi), which lives on the floor of the north Pacific Ocean; it has a 12 ft (3.7 m) leg span.
spiders and creepies and bugs, oh my!
[breadmaster] Moths are awful! Quite why they have to mistake my face for a lightbulb I will never know! [Nik] I hope it stays there!
MC
Incidently, why is no-one playing the long game any more? My move is there to be ridiculed/praised/gasped-in-awe at/smirked at/ruled illegal...
It's been a long long time. . .
[AP] The complexities of the long game can take some time to calculate. Moves can be irregular and often come in bursts. Yours was a cunning move and it took me some time to see a gap in the web of LV currents to make a move to benefit me.
MC
Oh, I am the veritable prince of cunning. 'Cept when I'm not.
Abso bloody lutely nothing.
I just came across this - fell off my chair; I don't know whether or not it's been done before but, if so, I have not seen it;

As found in the Canberra Times, Personals section...

'Wanted: A tall well built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

Interested? Then please only read
lines 1, 3 and 5; still interested?
Call me at...... ***********'

huh?
I'd heard of that sort of thing as a joke, but actually printing it... ??
Backdown
Yes, in hindsight I was somewhat carried away, flerdle. Please accept my sincerest apologies - I had no intention of offending anyone's sensibilites and will in future be a little more circumspect with my postings. Again, my apologies.
Wasp like insects
[Breadmaster] This fellow looks very like the beastie I saw carting the spider up the door glass - she was certainy an all-over orange in colour - particularly with the back lighting.

The one who, along with it's load, became entangled in my thinning thatch was more likely a black species which is common here. They have the typical dangling long legs as they aeronaut around the place and often pop into my workshop to pass the time of day.

not to worry
[Dujon] My comment wasn't directed toward you; I was surprised that the paper had done it.
Still embarrassed
Thanks, flerdle, but my comment still stands. Funny as I found it, this is not a pub.
Public house
[Dujon] I suspect that such a thing appearing in print would be impossible as an advertiser cannot predict how their copy will be presented. Unless it was one of the staff having a laugh. Meanwhile, I always thought this place had the ambience of a pub about it. I'm not sure I want to persue the analogy though...
hic
Otherwise, we'll never sober up.. btw, you didn't offend me, so don't be too embarrassed.
I'm offended though. Cooking frogs' legs...? ;-)
Can I have your glasses, please? At least you don't hear that here. :-)
Polititude
[Rosie] When was the last time you were in a bar where they're that polite? My favourite euphemism for f*** off out the door is "Can you start to think about making a move now please?". By the way, has the law on licensing hours been changed yet? Or will it retain forever the status of empty election promise?
*hanging tinsel round the crescent*
Yay! Its Christmas! Hurrah!
greetings from the cote d,azure
Posting from NIce on one of these strangely-arranged keyboards... having a lovely time :o)
penelope
Wahay :-). Are you a Nice colour?
Is this not a pub?
[pen] Any pics to prove your presence? :)
[Duj] I thought it was f***ing hilarious, really. :)
Licensing Laws
[rab] The bill to change the rules came before Parliament, but it was defeated for (IIRC) some trivial technical reason and time was not granted to try again. Apparently, fewer MPs care about reducing the amount of after pub violence than about banning fox hunting.
not gone totally crazy, yet!
Sorry about my previous outburst. The choir I'm in recorded a Christmas CD (in june?!?) and its been released, so I was happily transported to a Christmas world caused by listening to the disc. (And you can all buy it in the shops or on-line, www.halle.co.uk. It's called Christmas collection (rather uninspired, methinks) but is a jolly good CD). And by the way, advance warning, on sunday 19th october the Halle orchestra and choir are performing Brahm's German requiem. Looks set to be an excellent concert. (7.30pm, Bridgewater Hall, Manchester). Time to stop self promoting and get back to work.

[pen] Hope you're having lots of fun. Tis still rather windy here in the UK, so enjoy the pleasant climes!

I'll be in Manchester that evening. Unfortunately, I'm there to see Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure at 8pm in the Opera House.
Important astrologer
[Nik] Don't you like Dave Gorman? I'd happily swap places with you!
In the bleak midsummer...
[Lib] Oh the joys of recording - I've had to do that twice now, and it gets really wearing, especially if the weather's good. Last time we found and decorated a christmas tree to put in the chapel...
Fibs
I starting seeing Fibonacci numbers everywhere, which was nice for a while, but I then realised I made a mistake and they've gone again. It's still very rum though...
Jingle Bells
Christmas really has started too early this year. Debenhams were putting their decs for sale in August. :(
[UK] Ba-dum, tsch!
Fibs, fibs and more fibs
[rab] Rum indeed! Well, cheap plonk, really. Funny you should mention them though; I've just been doing a little bit of reading - mainly on the Golden Square/Ratio side of things. It's amazing where the things turn up in nature.
p.c.less
My home pc lost power on Tuesday, so no home surfing, Wednesday in for a new internal power supply. Took the pc home but the modem did not work, no surfing again, back to the shop. Several deep breaths and sighs later they came to the conclusion that it needed to be kept in overnight the problem being "It's a bit creaky" being a not to clued up on computers this tchno babble, I let them keep in. It worked fine when I bought it four years ago! (AMD500 with 64Mb RAM). No pc last night again. If it goes over the weekend I'll end up going cold turkey. My only consolation is here at the office which is for work purposes only.

Dujon]Golden square takes me back to my student days and the first year of my architecture degree and didactic patterns in nature. Including a day of research in the fine city of Bath.

Birthday
rab] Nice cake - it it an MC5 anniversary?
No
An act of pure self-indulgence on my part.
Cake with candles
[rab] oooh! Are you nine today?
Bring back Teddy!
...or ninty?
[Chalky] *blushes*

[Boolbar] Ninty? Sounds a bit like that Brazillian slang 'Pinto' to me. And just for you:

Happy Birthday
A wonderful day, dearest rab!
I hope the hangover is fab!
You'll drink the bar dry,
And (when pigs start to fly)
The uni will pick up the tab!
Many Happy Returns
Splendid. On a Friday aswell. Mine's a large brandy.
OK - self-disclosure alert. This astrology mallarkey. Received wisdom = it's a load of cobblers ... BUT - all the important people in my life [bar one and he's in January] have birthdays between mid - Sept and mid - Nov. Having just done the daughters, sister-in-law and a nephew in the last fortnight - next week it's my brother, a girly friend, two blokey friends and my boyfriend - all within 4 days. ALL these people live close by and warrant - nay, DESERVE more than just a card in the post. So many excuses to go to the pub. Oh yes, and the couple of weeks after - it's my late [God rest 'im] father, the french nephew and niece, another sister-in-law, another brother, my wonderful mother and the budgie ..... blah de blah de blah ....
So, rab, you're in fine company.
October babies
Is this sudden rush of birthdays anything to do with potential parents getting frisky (or very drunk) around Christmas, New Year and the beginning of Spring?
Felicitations
Many happy returns, Rab! [BtD] All of the best people are born in October!
Many happy returns of the day!
Salutations and many more rab!
birthdays
(Uncle K) Too true. Mother (still alive) and younger brother - 27 Oct. Niece 11 Oct. Not far away is other niece - 24 Sept, and me - 17 Nov when I move from a prodigiously multi-factored number to a prime number. Also 27 Oct are two other people I know plus the barmy Glenn Hoddle. None of this supports the idea that astrology is anything other than a compendium of testicular flummery. Anyway, Scorpios never believe in astrology, do they?
Happy returns rab
UK, Rosie] Gosh! Yes I've just checked. It seems that there is a suprisingly high rate of musical talent demonstrated by those born in October. There are also alot of Johns.
Persons of good reputation born in October and not called John: rab, Thom York, Bob Geldoff, Julian Cope, Mahatma Ghandi, Groucho Marks, Harold Pinter, Oscar Wilde
Persons of good reputation born in October and called John: John Lennon, John Cleese, John Keats, Johnny Marr
Persons of questionable reputation born in October:Jimmy Carter, Chris De-Burgh, Simon Le-Bon, Cliff Richard, Peter Stringfellow, Winonna Ryder and Margaret Thatcher
The conclusion? If you have a child in October, call it John.
Yeah, I was born in October too which proves that people of high musical talent come from that month.
I'm a September birthday, and I don't believe a word of my families nonsense about my singing.
qualititive survey
Oooh, I love lists. So far:

Rab - Oct 10
Incle Korky - Oct ?
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct ?
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept ?

any one else...?

October greats
me: Oct 16
Auntie Korky: Oct 20
Best friend: Oct 8
Best friend's cat: Oct 12
New next-door-neighbour: Oct 24

See you all next Monday (no net access at home, at the mo').
Ninty?
Ah, the missing "e". Oops! Happy Birthdaye Rab!
I'm a September Lad myself.
T-30 and counting
I can smell beer...
Returns
[Rab] Happy Birthday :oD
[All] Back from Nice - my cheeks still burning from this morning's sunshine. I'd recommend Nice in October - hot in the sun, cool in the shade, and warm enough to eat outside under a full moon on a rooftop terrace last night. There were people swimming au Mediterranée, although I didn't. I didn't take any photos, nor send any postcards, nor even buy souvenirs (unless you count bringing home brioche and black olive tapenade) but soaked up the smells and sounds. And I love just sitting outside, idly chatting and watching the world go by and drinking coffee...*sigh* :o)
A Merry Birthday, rab
pen] I have carefully resisted a pun about saying your holiday sounded "Nice".
Oops.
Birthdays
Mine was back in August (26th). I was away in Austria at the time. The landlady of the B&B I was staying in found it out (there was a place where, for identification purposes, I had to sign my date of birth) and presented me with a cake ;-)
bidet
Well, my birthdays June 28, my mother's June 24, and my (dec'd) maternal grandmother's was June 24 as well. My dad's is November 13, and he's a nasty alkie tosser..although his singing isn't bad..
June the twenty-odd
In my youth, I was thrilled to note that my paternal granfather's birthday was June 23rd, my paternal grandfather's was June 24th, and mine was the 25th. Simple things please simple minds, eh?
double up
[Tuj]Your father had 2 dads then? ;)
coinkydink
Well, I'm an October person (Next Sunday, since you ask - one or two of you may remember last October), and my good lady wife is June 24th. My children, thanks to careful planning (or random chance - take your pick) are November 5th and the 4th of July. They have fireworks on their birthdays.
more interuptions
A small beak in transmission whilst we pause slightly to salute snorgle in her historic run of being at No1 for 5 out of the last seven weeks in the Celebrity MC League
I am number one..again!
I thenk yew.. I'm stumped for who to go for now, though..
Beak?
There's a joke there somewhere but I'm damned if I can think of one right now. Well done snorgs.
Neb
[Chalky] Beak/snorgle/joke? I doubt it, I have never known her to be judgemental.
[snorgle] Well done! You must divulge your strategies when you finally pen your autobiography. ... ;-)
codicynces
I can immediately name at least seven people I know personally, with birthdays on the same day as mine. Oh, including me, of course. And I know I've forgotten one or two more. It's about five days over-long, but about when is Valentine's day again? :-D

This might interest some.

Oct 19?
Am I the only Piscean here (the name fits, by the way; as in 'drinks like a'.) Then again, I was born during WWII so I guess limited opportunities were presented! Incidentally, my family is all over the calendar; Mother 17 Nov., Wife 18 Nov. (Should I read something into that?) Siblings 3 Jan, 9 Sept. and 18 Dec.. Father 5 Oct., Paternal Grandmother 8 Oct., Maternal grandfather 9 Mar., Son 28 Jan, Daughter 26 Oct. Granddaughter 11 Aug. No pattern in that lot.
Mar 3
[flerdle] Interesting stats; However, during my life as a banker - which stretched over 26 years - in which time I interviewed innumerable people for account opening/loans and the like, memory tells me that I met 1 (one) person who had the same birthdate as myself - that is, the same month/day combination, not the year. I have always thought of that as statistically strange.
Hogging the cake.
[rab] Sorry, my friend, most remiss of me; happy birthday.
All alone
The only person I know who has the same birthday as mine is Eric Clapton. And I don't technically really know him. Spring seems to be a barren time when it comes to births. They say that on a football field there is a 50% chance that two of the 22 players will share a birthday, but someone better than me at adding will have to verify that.
Pisceans
[Duj] I'm a Pisces [24 Feb] therefore well out of kilter with the rest of my family/friends.
January
I am a Capricorn. But is there a statistical blip here in that so many MCers are experiencing birthdays around this time? Update of Chalkys list:
Rab - Oct 10
Uncle Korky - Oct 16
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept
Watty - Oct
Boolbar - Sept
Joining the minority
I celebrate my birthday in March, could be wrong but I like it at that time of year! (And that makes me a self obsessed, competitive, headstrong aries!)
numbers
[BtD] Look at some of the other postings to find or work out several of the others here eg JLE, Watty, snorgle, Tuj, me... And I just remembered another person, so that makes 8 definitely on the same day as me. Is that some sort of record? I don't think I know a thousand peoples birthdays. It's too late to think about this, though. Neeed sleeeeeep...
[Breadmaster] See here for an explanation of that.
Footballers' birthdays
(Breadmaster) Very nearly right. You need 23 people, so add in the ref. The chances for 22 people are 47.6%, and for 23, 50.7%. With 50 people the chances are 97.0% and, needless to say, with 365 it's 100%. None of this takes into account those unfortunates born on 29 Feb in a leap year.
Taurus - Apr 27
Lilith the Psychotic Ferret, as we can figure out, is an Aquarius (we think she was born late January-early February)...what that means for ferrets, God only knows. :)
ferret signs
Ferrets probably have their own astrological signs..Trouser Leg, Screaming Rabbit, etc.
a perfect match
I torched a load of very dry hedge clippings today - there's nothing quite so good for the soul as a smoking and roaring great bonfire and hearing the neighbours spluttering as they rush to bring in the washing from the clouds of billowing smoke. And don't tell me about dioxins and furans and the products of incomplete combustion - I know. But unlike my neighbours ( I know what they ate just about every weekend this summer - I could always smell it cooking), I haven't had a barbecue for two years and so I reckon I'm entitled. :o)
cheeky!
Did you start the fire after they put their washing out? I hate it when people do that..
pre-wash
[Snorgle] Of course I lit it after they put their washing out! What neighbour would put out their washing after I lit a fire? Are you one of those neighbours who waits until I've lit a fire before they put out their washing and then complains when it smells of smoke? I hate it when people do that!! ;o)
wishy washy
On speaking terms with your neighbours then? :P

I suppose it depends how long their washing was out. If it was a while, then fair enough.

Persinally, I use Persil. Wonderful for those hard-to-shift bonfire stains . . .
i like goats
Get a goat. It can then eat the evidence.
Each which evidence? The bonfire or the clothes?
I'm a noxious neighbour - not many people know that
Oh dear - I'm not as inconsiderate as all that! The fire lasted about 20 minutes - I put it out once it had all burned away and the smoke cleared pretty quickly. I use Tesco's own label non-bio. It smells nicer than Persil (and I used to be a Persilite).
Are goats good to eat?
Goats' cheese is good.
Goat Stew
Pen] Yes - goats are very good to eat and I recommend them. They are used quite a lot in West Indian recipes. They taste a bit like strong lamb.
"Blow wind, and crack your cheeks..."
Just a little anecdote, since we were talking about birthdays, and this was brought to mind by a comment rom Rosie in the Mini Cheddars game. As those of you who are observant will already have noticed, my birthday falls on Oct 16. Back in 1987, this was the night of the Great Storm. Co-incidentally, also my 18th birthday. I was kept awake all night by roof tiles clattering groundwards and then smashing on the driveway, but at least I had the good news in the morning that, because of the weather disruption, all schools were closed! Whoopee!
My mother also told me that, when she was a little girl, her mother had told her that if she had been good all year, it would be sunny on her birthday, and if she had been bad, it would rain. She then looked me square in the eyes and said "What did you do?!"
Goats' cheese is NOT good
This has been a running debate between myself and my inlaws who are, notably, French. They are of the opinion that goats cheese is something wonderful. Indeed, how could anyone NOT like it? In fact, they like it so much that when they order a pizza, they make sure that there are 5 or 6 good dollops of goats cheese on top. I hold the considered view that it smells and tastes like vomit.
[Hux] I have to agree. My brother has lived in France for most of his adult life. At his wedding feast in June, French cheese was in abundance as one would expect. There must have been at least 20 varieties - all beautifully presented. I was persuaded to try the goat's cheese - it tasted like a farmyard and seemed to ferment inside me for at least 2 days - every burp, yeuch!
Spooky
Just turned on This Morning with Fern & Phil. What are they tasting? Chuffing Goat's Cheese! [Fern doesn't like it].
Who the heck
In an attempt to remain open minded (palletted?) and under the assumption that it must be "something of an aquired taste", I do try to force it down me once in a while... the taste remains unacquired.

ps. I don't know who "Fern & Phil" are. I thought it was Richard and Judy.
Say Cheese!
Goats cheese is good! Delicious, great on pizzas and unlike some cow cheeses doesn't taste or smell of vomit. Sheeps cheese is not so tasty - sort of smells like the wrong end of a baby. Haven't tried Llama cheese yet.
Rotted milk
Cheese is Evil.
cheesy peas!
[Raak]Probably, but I like it. Cream cheese, cheddar cheese, Emmental, Swiss cheese, soft cheese with garlic and herbs.. yum! I eat way too much of the stuff.
Dairy good
I have to agree with Boolbar. Goat’s cheese is wonderful. If you want a mild variety, make sure the milk has come from a virgin goat (you often get virgin milkers) that has been nowhere near a billy - 'cos it is the billy that has that musky goat aroma. Virgin goat’s cheese is sweeter and creamier than cows milk cheese. More natural and stronger varieties are more to my taste - especially the Brie style (I know some wonderful goats cheese folk in Worcestershire). These are especially good with fresh herbs (mint, dill etc) or deep-fried. Is it lunchtime yet?
I agree with Raak. Who was it who let their milk stand until it was all lumpy, and said, "I know! I'll drain off the liquid, mash all the chunks together, and eat the smooth firm paste that results."? Probably the same person who thought yoghurt looked yummy. Yoghurt is yummy, of course, but you wouldn't think it.
Sheepishly...
I went to see an early Genesis tribute band last night and really enjoyed it. Confession over.
Sorry Breadmaster - Simulposted and unacknowledged. Still disagree - cheese - especially traditional hand made stuff - is the staff of life.
more confessionals ...
[Bob the dog] If it's the same band that I saw earlier this year [Re-Genesis?] I don't blame you. Also - The Australian Pink Floyd are quite amazing.
Phew!
Chalky] Thank you! No, it was The Garden Wall and they did an exact reproduction of the Selling England tour. Apart from a slightly dorky 'Peter Gabriel' it was wonderful. I may even go to see them again in a few weeks time when they come to Birmingham. They are Italian - I believe. Recommended - if you like that sort of thing.
if you like that sort of thing
and oddly, I recommend it if you don't. I didn't think I did any more, but that early prog rock stuff was written to be performed so seeing it live added a whole new dimension for me. It was like some bizarre historical re-enactment society, but extremely entertaining.
Musical Box
[BtD, etc.] Anyone interested in a decent evening of prog would do well to get their bottoms down to the Astoria in Tottenham Court Road in a month's time. The two-day Progeny festival sees IQ headlining on Sat 15 Nov (supported by Pallas and Carl Palmer), and The Enid the following night. I'll be there for IQ, if anyone fancies coming along...
Prog
I'm a bit of a prog nut myself - Yes are my thing. Coincidently my tickets for the NEC in June 2004 arrived in the post this morning! I have always rated Pallas and IQ as well (much better than their contemporaries Marillion), but can't make it to London that weekend.
Cinema Show
UK/Big] also unavailable on that date. Saw the Enid many moons ago and was singled out in the audience for being the "Punk with a chinsey ear-ring". Suprised that IQ still going! They were the good Genesis clones (as opposed to Marrilion) I seem to remember (agree Bigsmith). Have you heard any Tetra Splendour? Gutsy modern music with the odd Prog twist.
Awake & Nervous
IQ are indeed still going strong, and I was able to be at their 20th anniversary concert in London back in December 2001. They're currently working on a new album, and also have an excellent DVD out of their stage show, Subterranea. Further info can be gleaned from www.gep.co.uk/iq
I've recently been getting into Spock's Beard, an American prog group who are being hailed as 'the Yes of the 21st Century'. I would comment, but I'm not yet familiar with Yes past Owner of a Lonely Heart...
Frank Chickens
There now follows a chicken update...
A quick bit of background for those of you who have not followed the progress of the Mornington chickens. Earlier this year I bought three chickens and named them after regular mc5 users Penelope, flerdle and Lib. flerdle laid the first egg.
Well since my last news update, little has happened except the chickens have grown, got red wattles and begun being allowed out into the garden. They love it, especially if I'm digging as they take great pleasure in grubbing freshly turned soil. They run to see me whenever I'm in the garden and will leap for anything you are carrying that looks vaguely like chicken food. I have three big vines in the garden (very fine crop this year) that still have some grapes left over. The chickens will jump two or three feet to get at the bigger grapes higher up.
In return for the grapes, they have laid about two eggs every three days consistently since flerdles first egg, but now things are moving up a gear. On Sunday we had two eggs in one day. Today we have already had three, one of which is huge (oddly zeppelin sized – and shaped). Anyone need any eggs?
boc boc boc
That poor hen! I could use some eggs, but I don't think posting them is a good idea.. :)
With apologies to non-cheese eaters, but - Mmmm... goat cheese. My mouth is watering at the thought of it.

I had a very good goat cheddar from Sainsbury's a few years ago. Excellent, sad I haven't seen anything like it here yet.

What animal's milk is Haloumi from? I know it tastes yummy!
Lib] Haloumi, like Feta should be from sheeps milk, but if you buy a mass produced product it is more likley to be made from cows milk.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
Try Seriously Strong Cheddar - it's the absolute best - it won a prize and everything!
cheese - cheering
I'm going to nominate a mature cheddar-like cheese, made from unpasteurised milk, called Lincolnshire Poacher and made by a friend of a friend. I think it's available all over the country now. Yum :o)
More cheese, gromit
Gjetost for me - Norwegian goats milk cheese.
the "Laundry/ProgRock/Cheese" game
I think a mature creamy Stilton takes a lot of beating.
pennylopie] sounds scrumptious! French cheeses are simply out of this world... my personal favs are St. Nectaire, St. Emilion, and roquefort. Hmmm, I think I'll stop by a fromagerie and boulangerie on the way home tonight and pick up an nice Sancerre rouge while I'm at it!
Hoorah!
*Withdrawl symptoms over*
Curdled milk fetish
Speaking as someone who always ensures a well-stocked cheeseboard at Christmas, my favourites are Ilchester Cheddar Mexicana, Monterey Jack, Mature Cheddar with Caramelised Onions, Y Fenni, and Jarlsberg. On the subject of goats' cheese, I've used small circles of it to good effect, served upon griddled lamb cutlets with red wine gravy.
the important words ...
in all this are 'made from unpasteurised milk'. S'bury's do really quite good unpasteurised cheddar; and an awesome Brie de Meaux (which always makes me chuckle, because it often appears on the bargain-basement-'cos-it's near-its-sell-by-date-and-we're-afraid-of-bugs-and-lawyers shelf - at exactly the time when it is ready to eat and they could, if they wished, charge more for it ...).
Brie de Meaux
[Wol] Is that made from cats milk?
mews
No, you're thinking of Cheshire.
Broardcasting from the depths of Cheshire
[Wol] Friends lead me to believe that Cheshire cheese is actually made from wall paper paste, with a little plaster of Paris mixed in.....*Lib saunters off in the general direction of the supermarket wondering which cheese she'll buy today*
Cheese, and why you should all shut up about it
I'm a big lover of cheese. I'm also on a diet. The two, obviously, do not mix. For the first couple of months, I stuck to my "I'd rather have none than 'low-fat cheese'" guns, but it couldn't last. Thankfully, Tesco do have a "cheese" which - if you close your eyes, hold your nose and think about something else - could be mistaken for a medium-mature cheddar. Unless you heat it (you don't heat it).

I was in Cheddar a couple of months ago, and was forced to go into The Real Cheddar Cheese Company shop, and ended up with a (thankfully small triangle of) vintage cheddar, and it was delicious (in far-too-small portions). I miss (full-fat, creamy, hand-made, farmhouse) cheese (feta, cheddar, cheshire, wensleydale, lancashire, double gloucester, red leicester among... well, more varieties than that). I miss it badly.

thin cheese
[Nik] erm... try the Atkins diet? Then you could eat cheese 'til it comes out of your ears.
Cheesy Cheesy
[Nik] My sympathies. I'm in the invidious position of (1) being overweight and needing to cut down on fats; and (2) being a vegetarian whose primary source of protein is cheese. Tricky. My usual solution is to exercise more, but I can't even run at the moment because of a persistent knee injury. Quite frustrating.

[UK] You confuse me. Most of the cheeses you list are of the highest quality, but then you have Monterey Jack on your cheese board? Maybe the Jack you buy is better than the pappy Jack we can get here... is it dry Jack?

F-Atkins
[penelope] you mentioned the Atkins Diet ... in such a way that you *might* know how effective it is? Having been a very average 5' 6" size 12 for most of my adult life - I now find myself getting quite plumptious and can't be bothered to go to a Slimming Club.
Never mind, Chalky, I doubt you're as overweight as I am!
Atkins
It may work fast but it makes your breath smell.
Cheese
You want the good stuff, I suggest you get it cave matured. Yummy!
cave matured cheese
hardly low fat though is it? There must be diet cheese somewhere that doesn't taste of plastic!
Cardboard etc.
My good wife purchases low salt, low fat dairy products - including yoghurt. I flatly refuse to eat them (yes, I have tried each one!) so the 'fridge has his and hers compartments. ... :-)
Pseudonyms?
Is this "Come As Someone Else Day", or are we being hit with a pseudonym bomb?
Alias or Alien?
Dunno, DrQ. I've just come back to the site after watching strange things popping up here and there and everywhere about an hour ago.
Timing
Err, to pin it down for any reader, it's just after 0235 GMT as I type.
die(t) trying
[Chalky] Re: Atkins diet - I've read the book, tried it for a week or so... and while in principle it works by converting your body's metabolism to that of a starving person living off their fat reserves (David Blaine could be considered to be an Extreme Atkins Dieter), it's bloody hard to keep it up - and you do need lots of mineral and vitamin pills to pop and test-papers to wee on to make sure you're maintaining a state of ketosis. Slimming World do a slightly less extreme low-carb version (as opposed to Atkins' No-carb) which I successfully followed for a couple of months and dropped at least a dress size. Why not attend a slimming club just for a couple of weeks to get all the books, literature and a few recipes, then do the rest on your own? That's what I did. (Well, in fact I nicked one of the books while I was a reporter covering the town's Slimmer of the Year... so in fact I never went to a class at all). Alternatively, learn to love your curves and go for a half-hour stomp every night instead. :o)
Pseudonyms
Or there could simply be an abundance of new users...
Dieting
Whereas Weight Watchers is initially boring but much better for you. Do that, it lost me weight. And I also recommend stomping :)
Atkins
[pen] I'd rather try slicing my limbs off, since that's both less likely to kill me, and more likely to result in a stable weight afterwards.
dreaming
[DrQu+xum]Did you have a nightmare?
WW
[X, p, et al] Weightwatchers is what I'm doing, and last night I beat 5st 7lb after 8.5 months. Apart from the kaeselust, it's quite enjoyable, really. My diet is far better than it has ever been since I left home 9 years ago (and probably better than before then as well), and recently I added some exercise as well. At £4.75/week for the weighing (and optional chat/class afterwards that I never stay for), it's not cheap (especially when you need to lose 7 stone to become a Gold - non-paying - member), but they give out lots of helpful literature, and above all else it's a sane diet, which is why I've bothered with it at all.

More importantly than all this, I'm glad to see my DSL chose to remain alive this morning, after I forgot yet again to make sure it was okay when I left the house.

WW
Hurrah!
Pseudonyms
How do I know you're not all the same person?
strangers
Has anyone seen St Dogmael?
St Dogmael
A film or a person? *wears D hat for not knowing*
the saint
A person. Who usually posts on various MC boards.
st d
snorgle] He hasn't been on MC5 for ages, but I know he is a very regular contibutor to MCiOS and occasionally Orange too. I have seen him in the flesh - if that is what you mean, but not recently. He appears to be pretty normal to me - he has a very quick wit and is an excellent photographer.
Diet
Oh and Nik - well done!
Back to st dog
snorgle] You are right, I've just checked MCiOS and he has not posted in ages - last time was probably on Hyperlink Crescent. If you are suggesting that he is responsible for the sudden burst of odd pseudonyms, I think not. His sense of humour is too advanced.
Meeow
*Gives St Dogmael a virtual poke*
being virtually poked
ouch !
Sleep.
[snorgle] No, but I think I OD'd on Mountain Dew yesterday. I got 3.5 hours of sleep.
od
[DrQu+xum]Isn't that a sort of neon greenish yellow? I wonder if it stains your insides? You have probably gone over your lifetime safe amount of crinoline yellow or whatever the hell it is. Go on a detox diet immediately! Only raw vegetables and fruit juices for you - (and no Sunny Delight doesn't count!)
[Dr Q] Ooh - rampant jealousy! I haven't seen Mountain Dew on sale in the UK for years!

[Dunx] I usually buy my Monterey Jack straight off the deli counter at my local Tesco's. It's got a consistency that I con only describe by comparing it to Edam, but slightly creamier and a bit wobbly. I was amused to note that the label promotes it as an all-American cheese - made in Wales.
Mountain Dew
Never had the stuff. I nearly had some when they had a free sample desk up several years ago in a midlands University, but when I asked what it tasted like, the bloke behind the stand looked at me like I was an idiot and said 'like mountain dew, of course'. Since I didn't want to drink something that tastes of acid rain and goat's piss, I declined to sample any of Mr Miserable's wares. So, does it taste like acid rain and goat's piss?
being poked
schnorkle] so did you want anything then, or were you just wanting to wake me up ?
Mountain Dew
What is it?
owoooooooooo
[st dogmael]Just wondering where you had got to..
[Blue Bananas]A flavoured soft drink. As to what the flavour is, who knows? At least Irn Bru has real iron in it and tastes metallic.
Americana
[UK] Ah - it sounds like the wet stuff, but much more flavourful than the usual run of Jack you get at the supermarket. It is possible to buy cheese which tastes of something, but tasteless, plasticky pseudo-cheese is endemic.

Re: Mountain Dew - tried it once, I didn't like it. It's approximately orange flavoured, but it has a lot of caffeine in it. I managed to drink half a can before I got a splitting headache. I threw the rest away.

Foo!
Mountain Dew is neon yellow/green with large amounts of citric acid and caffeine. It's kick-ass, I tell you! KICK ASS! YEAHYEAHYEAH! *given a sedagive* Yes.
So, sort of like (soi-disant) Sunny Delight, then?
fluids
Sunny Delight is EVIL JUICE and should be outlawed. [Blue Bananas] I know that's you making with the pseudonyms - cut it out!
[Angus] I think s/he thinks it's funny.
Offended
Twas a temporary thing trying to find one I liked. But I like Blue bananas best.
Annoying everyone
Sorry about that. I'm only little, and therefore forgivable.
more guv'
Arnie becomes the £900 celebrity and showing no slowdown
Blue Banana]Hi and welcome to the Mornington community.
More offensive
[Angus Prune]OOh! How did you know?

I got this sent to my hotmail account -

Hi, Thank you for submitting your e-mail address to various SPAM companies, courtesy of The Official David Blaine website, www.davidblaine.com. Your e-mail address alone provided us with 0.5 cents, which, when you think about it, is $1k for every 200,000 addresses. So, thanks for adding to the FoB - Funds of Blaine. While I'm here, kudos to Mr Blaine on his recent trial, and all the English that do various, drunken things in front of poor Blainey, to try to cause a little havoc... well, you all suck. Go find something sensible to do, and stop wasting your lives. Yours, The Official David Blaine Society, together with over 2000 various mailing lists who now have your e-mail address.

Cheeky, or what? As its an e-mail address I use to sign up for any old rubbish, I don't really mind, but the nerve of some people! I was wondering at the sudden recent influx of pr0nographic spam, though. And what GIMP came up with that insulting simulpost message? SLAP!!!

Strange fruit
Blue Bananas] Hi and welcome.
snorgle] A gimp in a perspex box.
[Blue Bananas] Well, OK, maybe I leapt down your throat there, and sorry for that.
Records (Not LPs, EPs or such)
Is this some sort of record? Every single game has been 'activated' during the day of 15th October; amazing!
Spring, sprung and stuff
I have just come back into the workshop after hanging out the washing - what an absolutely magnificent day. The bees (not the honey-bees or bumble bees) are busy rubbing themselves gleefully against the buds of things to come on the ornamental vine which covers the pergola at the back of my house - the sun beams down like a pontiff in a trance - the birds are a'singing and sound far better than a soprano; all is well in this part of the world. Time I think for a couple of glasses of cheap white. This is one of those days (so far) when you wouldn't be dead for quids.
Chatty, again.
Mainly for Rosie - unless there are other weather freaks on this site: 23.5°C - around 45% humidity - cloud one octer (if that) - wind chill; forget it - Barometer about 1002/3. I very rarely partake of a midday meal but, today, I am sorely tempted to sit on the back balcony and just eat the day.
Well there's win and not win.
Sky - now 7 octers+, washing in, luncheon deferred. I thought you'd be really interested ... :-) ... :-(
am, am
Warm here, sky clouding over; 24 (falling) and 49% here, 1018, slight breeze, normal for about this time of year; can see some rain off in the distance (past Mt Cootha, to the north-northwest) but doubt we'll get any. [Dujon] Wotsan octer?
Octopusses
[flerdle] 1 octer = 1 eighth (of the visible sky) cloud cover; the spelling I'm not sure of - I'm not even sure if it has a correct one, though undoubtedly it does.
Slight harrumph, since we're just at the end of a day of persistent autumnal rain (incidentally, this is one definite reason why I frown upon the use of "fall" to describe the name of the season after summer, because the word "autumnal" becomes suddenly less current), but then we are six months out of phase and this is to be expected. More rain tomorrow, I understand.
... and pretty much eight octers all day, of course.
Insulting
[snorgle, re Preview+Simulpost] The message was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but seeing as you've objected I've toned it down now. Not impressed at being called a gimp in such large letters though.
less insulting?
[rab]I was just replying as per the spirit of the message! I withdraw my GIMP remark..
Fairy Nuff
Luckily you didn't point out the even more embarrassing grammatical error - which now too has been excised. Play on!
heated debate
Ooo-er! I've never seen the Preview+Simulpost message, and am unlikely to now it's been 'toned down'. Shame. I like toned up stuff.
Crowded, isn't it?
What's an octer? I like rain. It's so melancholy and atmospheric. And you can think that if it were a lot colder it would be snowing. This is my favourite time of year: summer definitely over, winter to come (with the faint but tantalising possibility of snow), blue skies with frost underfoot and golden leaves falling, and Bonfire Night coming up, with Christmas on the way. Can't be beaten!
AUTUMN
[BM] Absolutely agree! I've even been known to break out in poetry at this time of year ...
painful poetry
Ooh! Sounds nasty - is it painful?

My poetry is painful
The use of time not gainful
For the looks I get are baneful
And say that it is awful!

Fall or nothing
I too enjoy Autumn - it makes the neighbours retreat inside with their getto blaster. Horrah!
Missing "H"
Ooops!
Swan-upping and leaving
There are numerous pairs of beautiful swans gracing the rivers and tributaries that lace our city centre and for the most part, are much cherished by the community. However, it's THAT time of year now ... when the grown-up swans start 'chasing' away the teenage cygnets. I was watching them this morning. They really DO shooh them away with a " get out into that big wide world, sow a few wild oats and find yourself a decent partner-for-life!" No consideration for the lack of flight practice or incomplete plumage, which is still a bit grubby looking. Oh - those poor cygnets! They mistake roads and paths for rivers and try to land, often killing themselves in the process, but more often causing mayhem, be it within their small brain or amongst the traffic. Bless them.
Weather
What's wrong with snow? You try skiing on drizzle.
It's hard work... really!
Chalky just won a round "Animal-Vegetable-Mineral-Abstract" and I must say that it's quite tiring work holding the chair. But at least I get to do some work now. Also, I was rather hoping that Wol would win (he was so close too) as he was very sporting about the previous photo-finish
question count
Yes - it took 67 questions before the correct answer. I did warn you all, when the game was mooted, that it IS time-consuming being in the chair which makes me wonder if I can 'service' another go so soon after my last one. Especially as it appears I have to undertake yet another of those tiresome gender realignments that seem to plague my on-line existence :-)
Chalky, I beg your forgiveness, really, I do... I blame society!
Yes, I may not even enter the fray on the next round just in case I win again.
utter forgiveness
[Hux] .. please don't beg! [mind you - I had to do the same with Raak after my last victory. Anyone seen him? If he appears I might just gift him this one]. My gender realignment comment was very tongue-in-cheek - not easy to convey on screen [see my posting in AVMA].
Hilarity
I thank parents everywhere who endow their young with wacky and not normally used first names. The only pleasure I get from marking 'homework' is when I come to completing the official sheets which has such names displayed in full resplendence.
Names
So that's why young Xerxes Finbar Ibid keeps claiming the teacher is laughing at him...
naming of the parts
[Ibid] And you should take care of backwards spellings too... imagine being lumbered with Dibi Rab Nif Sex Rex... Or is it just my brain that works this way?
The onset of evil Winter
[Bm] matt's told you before about airing such perverted views in public fora. Kindly desist! *turns up heating and pretends it's sunny*
Names
[pen] Possibly. Of course, google is now going to lead some people to get some odd ideas about rab...
Jack Frost
[Projoy] You can't silence us that easily!
[penelope] My brain does that too. Every word I hear, I mentally reverse. Og ouy ereht os.
Rain and odd ideas
I like rain, and confuse my hosts whenever I'm in a warmish, dryish country (say, the South of Germany) and run outside as soon as the heavens open. [Ibid] I'm sure people have enough odd ideas about me already... and this posting won't have helped.
DRAWKCAB
[pen, BM] I remember rolling about the floor laughing when my father called Val Doonican - Nacinood Lav! I was young. It's stayed with me though and I still call Star Trek - Kert Rats. I'm also quite fluent at joined-up backwards writing [mirror writing] but I'm a calligrapher so I s'pose that's not too unusual.
sinister
The only backwards thing I can do easily is the writing - with my non-dominant left hand. I also find it easier to do if I'm writing with my right hand at the same time..
Dexterity/ytiretxed
I used to enjoy mucking around with the 'mirror' writing when I was a bit younger than I am now. Still, living in the southern hemisphere perhaps enhances the skill?
retsinis
Ah, the fun we had playing with each other's names spelled backwards... [Chalky] a calligrapher? I did calligraphy O level (an 'A', natch!). My handwriting used to be pretty spectacular but it has gone downhill ever since - I blame it one reporting on town council meetings and magistrates courts without bothering to learn shorthand.
[dominance] My right side is *so* dominant... I even find it difficult to kick a ball or take a step downstairs if I have to use my left foot first.
Although right handed, I can use a computer mouse with either hand. In fact I can use two computer mice at once on two different computers. I can write better with my right foot than my left hand though.
Handwriting
[epolenep] Yes - calligrapher, although I do lots of other stuff with lettering aswell - hotel/pub signs, blackboards [hence the Chalky moniker] although I haven't used actual chalk for years. It was the '0' level that started me off aswell - but this is the first time in my life I've 'done it for a living'. After college in London, my career was in publishing, broadly speaking. My name, backwards, is very Russian.
Left vs Right
My ex-boss was a left-handed mouser despite being a right-hander since he claimed that it was more natural to type with one's right hand.
You're supposed to type with both hands.
typing
I was going to say that!
snorgs - get back into AVMA!!
innerestin
I am reasonably ambidextrous, although my right hand has had many more years practice at writing than my left. If I draw with my left hand, it's a little slower and less steady, but the emotional content of the drawings can be quite, how to say, extraodinary. I use a mouse with my right hand at work and my left at home. No particular reason. I have no eye dominance either.
[snorgle] That's cos we're symmetrical. There's a whole area of visual and developmental therapy about that sort of thing - why it's easier to mirror actions than translate from one side of the body to the other.
[Dujon] dunno. I've never actually bothered, believe it or not.
[rab] Fascinating. I know people who must listen to the phone with their right ear, to the extent that when they have to write something down, they have to do this weird crossover thing to hold the phone there.
[typing] I'm soooo glad I learnt to touch-type in high school. It saves a lot of time.
and one other thing before I go back to marking #*@$^%& assignments...
[Chalky] Here, "Chalky" is a nickname for schoolteacher. Like Brickie for builder/builder's labourer, Sparky (electrician), Chippy (carpenter)...
He was always a backwards boy...
I can still sing a fair chunk of Waltzing Matilda backwards (I believe this originally came from a character in one of the later series of the Adventure Game)
Stuff
(Dujon) It's oktas, old son. None here for several days. Water shortage next year unless we get a soaking wet winter, at least in the SE. (flerdle) One of my teachers was nicknamed Chalky, but his name was White. We also had Pinhead. We used to recite "we call him Pinhead because he is bald and his name is Steele". Taught maths; a nice man. A mate married his daughter. (re sinisterity) I'm totally southpaw, except for mouse, scissors, toothbrush and bumwipe. RH is stronger, LH cleverer. BTW an anagram of my name is "rough stud, he". I wish. :-)
anagrams
I'm rubbish at anagrams. I either get them right away or not at all!
shibbur
[Anagrams] Ain't that the way... an anagram of my name is 'Just When I Rent It' and my father's (much to my mother's amusement) worked out to be 'Rich Tart When Rid'.
[Sinisterity] Mouse, Scissors, Toothbrush, Bumwipe?!!! *chortle* Word disociation, unless I'm mistaken!
anagrams
An anagram of my name - 'THE VODKA PANTRY' - seems I can't get away from the Russian connection. Incidentally, never touch the stuff.
[penelope] Wot! your name's not penelope?!?
My name doesn't anagram well; probably one of the best is "Razz arid nerd"
anagrams?
Most anagrams of my name look like Rambling Syd Rumpo songs...I blame the four Gs.
Here's one
"Leg ringer - glory jog"...which is a euphoric dance done after getting Shane Warne, Richie Benaud, or JLE to be on your club XI. :)
Puzzlers
Here I am trying to guess all your real names and can only conclude you're a rather bizarrely monikered bunch what with Horst de Ughu (Rosie) and Petra van Kodthy (Chalky) in our midst. Mind you, that Dexter 'Anal' Relhirdy-Bach sounds like a dubious character...
anagramattic
I can only offer Large parrot ambush...
'Daq Update
Ahnold has hit £1k/share....gaaah!
Large parrots
[GIII] Now that one is easy to decode...
Anagram names
I've never worked out an anagram of my name. But from the evidence given, I suspect the real name of "penelope" to be Justine, with Richard being her father's (surname eight letters: E,H,I,N,R,T,T,W in alphabetical order). Not sure about Chalky but she could well be a Kathryn (remaining surname letters A,D,E,O,P,T,V). Graham (surname from A,B,E,L,O,P,R,R,S,T,U, unless you've used a middle name as well) and Darren (surname, if this is to be believed, from A,D,I,R,Z,Z) may be using their real first names here. Not sure about Rosie, but s/he could be a Hugh (remaining surname letters D,E,O,R,S,T,U)...

Anybody got a good anagram for "Jonathan Ellis"?

Handedness: I'm right-handed in most things, but ambidextrous when piano-playing or trying to catch things one-handed. Can't throw or write left-handed. Feet are not so much ambidextrous as ambi-sinister (equally incompetent with both, when playing football), and I think I favour my left eye more than my right.

Real names?
Pen: I believe you are right.
Chalky: Dunno.
G3: Dunno.
Darren: Not a clue.
Rosie: He. Sorta close.
You: the best I come up with is "Johann Ale List"....
[JLE] Using ag(), the best I can get is "jail tonal hens", "Jean halts lion", "jeans halt lion", "join Hell, Satan", "hasten, join all", "jeans into hall", and "shallot in Jean".
My name has four H's and 9 vowels vs. 17 consonants so it's practically impossible to get anything.
Marks out of five?
Darren's surname seems likely to be Izzard. I can see why it's a bugger to anagram. Penelope's is trickier- all those consonants. I'm going to go for 'Whittern', as the most likely of an unlikely bunch of alternatives ('Penelope Threwtin', anyone?) Graham is indeed, I think, using a middle name. After a long blind alley in which I was convinced his surname was either Butler, I'm now going with 'Graham Paul Roberts' If Rosie is indeed named Hugh, his surname might be 'Stroude'. But from Dr Q's comment, I suspect s/he isn't. Maybe by 'sorta', Dr Q was hinting that the surname is Hugh, or more likely Hughes. But that leaves a pretty odd bunch of letters to make a first name out of- is there such a first name as 'Tudor'? Finally, I don't think Chalky's name is Kathryn, since we have the additional clue that spelt backwards it looks Russian. I therefore suggest she is that well-known Muscovite 'Yhtak Tropnevad', otherwise known as Kathy Davenport.
Proof Reading
Ahem. Either Butler or Porter. Not just 'either of these two butlers'.
granamas
Jonathan Ellis? Hmmm... how about 'Jeans Hit Noll', 'Ah Jell in Snot', 'Halt Sloe Jinn', 'All Hens Joint'or even 'Anal Hens I Jolt'? I could go on, but I won't - I'll just point you here.
I'm useless
by 'here, I meant - http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html
revealed
[Prof Plum] Smartarse. And have you Googled me too?
Well, Prof, it's not that hard to deduce my name as I already gave it away in Orange some time ago!!! My anagram software of choice is Anagram Genius which is absolutely superb. They also make Crossword Maestro which solves cryptic crossword clues. (And no, I didn't use it to solve Wol's, in case you're wondering!)
Anagrams again
I think I'll adopt "Join Hell, Satan" as my Official Anagram ;-)
[Darren] I'm flattered you thought it might be necessary! Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm ADDIIIKLLNVW. But there's a clue somewhere in the archives.
Another way to find our real names
[Prof Plum] Try the old PantsMC Profiles.
Half a quarter
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification - I've only ever heard the word and never read it. I was going to check but became sidetracked and then forgot. Interesting that your right hand is the stronger even though you are basically left handed. My wife and son are both a bit of each. The son writes left handedly but does many right handed movements - including eating. My wife on the other hand (sorry!) eats back to front but writes with her right hand - perhaps as a result of the inconsiderate influence of school teachers in days of yore.
Mix and Match
Incidentally, Rosie, your name could be altered to 'Hough duster' which, I suppose, would indicate that you may be a butcher's assistant?
Names
My name actually is Breadmaster. You can imagine the ribbing I got at school.
Anagrams
(Prof Plum) 5 out of 5 for your final guess. Unfortunately, a further anagram is "oh, huge turds". (The best type, in my experience). (Dr Q) Can't figure out your surname, even if I've got your first name right. Is it British-ish?
Named!
[Rosie] No, Dad's side is German.

[BM] Were you baked? :)
I win
I BET you can't guess my name. Anagram is 'I am a ferret penn'. I'll check in and see how you're getting on ;)
[Bm] Is that why your publisher insisted on "Hill" as a pseudonym?
prunings
Ian Prefenmater?
[Angus] How about "Anne-Marie Petfer" or "Ferna P. Tremaine" or "Farmer Pete Nani" or "Martin A. Penfree" or "Nate F. Repairmen"?
[Angus] Ian Peter Freman?
I think I did this before...
CMd; dCM; dMC; MdC; McD. Oh. You mean real names...
There's nothing quite like...
Hm. McD kind of suits you, CdM.
Pseudonymous writes
[Raak] That's right, the unimaginative fools.
So they called you Breadmaster Hill then?
There ought to be a prize if anyone managed to get my name out of "OUI A MANGLED WIG".
blaine
Well, Blaine's out now, so hopefully I'll make some dosh on celebdaq. I found it odd, though, that he sounded rather like Jack Nicholson after he got out! Also, I'm sure that some cockney shouted something like "You're a wanker!" in the background as he was being released.
[Lotus] Yes, but then you *do* descend from several improbably mixed nationalities ;-)
"Why, O dramatist?" (Lines that should have been written by someone else)
Who am I? Arty st d.?
S. Mith (a wry toad)?
Martha (DIY swot)?
__tim__ (a sad worthy)
Thos (am a dry wit)?
Matt (why so arid?)?
Or Watty? ("Hm" said
A Tay wordsmith,
"What a dim story.")
Out of a mangled wig
LotUS] Nice to meet you Luigi Gawedoman.
Cross-posted to MCiOS
I'd just like to report a conversation that just happened right infront of my very eyes in my office:

Scene: Manager is talking to new resource who has arrived in Paris and who had his cellphone stolen on his first day here.

Manager: So what did you think of your "welcome" to Paris?
Employee: Yes, I went walking at the weekend.
Manager: No. I mean your "welcome" to Paris.
Employee: Oh! Thank you.
Manager: Nevermind.
[JLE] Well, yes, that's true. But my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname.
[BtD] Not even close but it's a great idea for a pseudonym!
crossposted from MCiOS
[Chalky] You know you were asking whether we had a make-up artist. Well, we still don't and only just over a week to go, so if you have any leads now's the time to mention them. :-)
I saw some Sinhalese writing a while back, it had a really lovely look, all circles and spirals. That observation isn't really relevant to anything, it's just LotUS's comment reminded me of it.
Sinning
Yes it is very beautiful - learn about it here.
ISIHaC - been there, done that
[Tuj, BtD & anyone else who's interested] We had a truly splendid time at the Theatre Royal Winchester last night. I won't spoil anything by talking about either the guest or the content - [the shows go out on the 17 & 24 Nov as the first two of the series] - but I'll be interested to hear how they edit at least 2 and a half hours of quality stuff into neat half hour slots. It's a small theatre - perfect for comedy. On several occasions the tears really were rolling down my cheeks. Humph was magnificent [doesn't he work hard?] and we even managed to 'mingle with the stars' after the recording.
[Tuj] re. your comments in AVMA - I managed to get tickets because penelope, back in the summer, on receipt of the BBC4 online newsletter [or suchlike], posted in MCiOS the 3 venues and dates for this series. I'm only half an hour's drive from Winchester so I rang the theatre - all tickets were sold within 2 hrs. We were lucky.
ISIHAC
So unfair... My partner saw it live ten years ago, so my chances of going to see it are slim I feel. Back to the anagrams, would it help you to guess if I told you I'm not male?
Cinderella Hawk Beam
You can get some quite rude anagrams from my real name.
A top dative MS jinx
Michael!?
Hello hello hello, what's all this, then?
[Angus Prune] Do you have a long surname?
Ms? Prune
Angus] Marie Fen-Patern?
Evenin' all
Sorry Boolbar X-posted.
Names...
Got it. Boolbar is Native American - Michael Elk Bear Dawn.
ISIHAC
[Chalky] Having seen it in Bournemouth (Pavilion Theatre, Mon 30th Oct, 2000, 7:30pm, as my treasured ticket tells me - and Sandi Toksvig laughter rings in my ears yet) not too long ago, my memory should have recalled you need to be pretty sharp to get'em. Never mind.
anagrams
and so is no-one going to identify my earlier anagrammatical impersonation?
Projoy?
anagrammatical impersonator
All anagrams of Timothy Saward - damned clever :-)
anagrammaticaphylactic shock
[Cdm] that is so clever
Request
Projoy - could you email me? (crossposted from Orange, for which I apologise)
*blush*
[CdM] And what's more, I puzzled over them for ages yesterday. I'm also completely rubbish at Countdown too. [Dunx] Email received and replied to.
How?
[Ibid] So close!
Michael Andrew Blake
...meet David Willink.
[MF] Correcto! - just the wrong order
grama nams
CdM] That was brilliant.
Boolbar] Nice to meet you Blake Micheal Andrew.
Random Horrid Wreckage
...is my favourite anagram of my (full) real name.
Pretty please.
Could I just repeat my request for the monthly music supplement that came in last Sundays Observer? *waves money*
[FG] Mick God-Adorer H. Warren? Sounds like a tele-evangelist. :o)
An anagram of my full real name....
...would be longish. I wonder if I can come up with one.
[FG] Ow! Order keg, mr Arachnid!
Observer Music
[Boolbar] I think I can get a copy from a friend this evening. Where do I send it again?
stuff at boolbar plop vispa plop com
[Chalky] Ooooh! That would be splendid! email above. expenses paid etc.
E-mail
[Boolbar] Am wondering if I translated your email address correctly. If so, there should be one waiting for you.
spam spam spam spam
[Chalky] Yes, you are nestling between the nice African chappy who wants to share his fortune with me and the breast enlargement emails.
Anagrams
I'm feeling kinda jealous of all the people with glib anagrams, like Fat German.
Ana-kilo-gram
[Néa] The short form of your name yields "Lager liken manna"...whatever that means. I'm currently feeding your full name (assuming it really *is* what you put on your webpage :) into my anagram generator...which is unfortunately on a SparcClassic 50MHz box....
back in my day muttermuttermutter
Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen, that's what I say. .. :-)
Ana-mega-gram
[CdM] You try her name with paper/pen then!

[Néa] I can get the word "Goddess" out of it, which should shorten it up a bit. :D
Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar.
Oh, by the way, an anagram of "Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen" is "Damnable, general-purpose gonorrhea contaminates Andy-Pandy."
deary me
Yikes! I get all caught up and don't visit for a couple of days, and look what happens! This is all a bit too tiring to think about at the moment.

Oh, and no more spiders for the time being.

Even more anagrams
flerdle = "Censored pearl". :)
You've all gone really strange
Hmmmmmm.
very well then, Dr Q,...
Here is a list of things that Nea likes.

Start:
JRR Tolkien
Tea
Miranda
Mets
Language
End.

(OK, I might have lied about one of them...)
Here's some anagrams of Néa's full name (assuming the one on the site is real), taking the é as an e.
"Maladjusted, tiger-like, stagnant, rare ornament."
"Jauntier, darkened, meatiest, gallant strong-arm."
"Radiant man-eater strangulating molested jerk."
"A daunting tearjerker demonstrates I'm gallant."
"Maladjusted Terminator enraging rattlesnake."
"Rattling junk arrangement misleads toad-eater."
"Alert sugarlike madman and ignorant jet-setter."
"Major rattling as gentleman streaked, urinated." shame she's not a man in this case!
"Talented alarmist and jauntier strong-arm geek."
"I am a daring, non-judgemental streaker. Let start!"
"Strong, dreamlike talent and jauntier megastar."
"Transmitted ranking as talented major-leaguer."
"I am, ranking adjustments, a grander teetotaller."
I could go on with these!
Actually..
Hope those don't annoy Néa too much. Sorry if they do, but that's what the program came up with (along with several thousand others).
aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh
[DrQ] I think i prefer "ponder cereals"
Red Fell
Close panderer?
Red Fell
Or a spec lender? (Red spec loaner)
Spread clorene?
One disadvantage ef anagram programs is that they will tend to come up with real words.

What do you mean, "That's the point"? Harrumph.

Patch cocky, bent grammar
[Darren] Do you know what it is ? Is it a name ?
Annoyed??
I'm flattered! (Not to mention rolling around laughing.)
Managra
I have found out that my name works out as: Lanky Baron Bronchitis!
[Boolbar] Yeah, I know what it is. I made it. No, it's not a name (well, not in the conventional sense).
However
Sorry, Darren, but I'm more impressed with CdM's list - I don't think he used any anagram software to extract "JRR Tolkien" from my name ;-) (and who says I don't like the Mets? I'm a basketball aficionado, I am!)
anagrams
[Boolbar] Apologies for late reply - no I do not have a long surname - both names are 7 letters long
[AP] Surname = Freeman?
Crossposted from everywhere, but the last time, I promise
A final plug for Dracula - The Vampire Strikes Back - on at a theatre probably not too near you next week (Fri night already sold out!), and written by Thos and myself, and achieved with assorted much-appreciated support from the talented Martha, Dunx, gil, Chalky, Darren, matt, Lib and blamelewis (I think that's everyone).
Boolbar
Yes. 1st prize witheld till you get the first name though.
wild guess
Petela?
that's only got six though. hmmm
aaah
I see, forgot the last n.
left field
Pantele would be sufficiently obscure. If you were sort of Greek.
Anagrams
A bit of effort on my own (full) name yielded:Phronje nebricist, hish rahm mupe.
Or the more realistic, if odd: Screen obit.: Humph Jr. in Hampshire
Garbology
[Tuj] Christopher Benjamin Humphrie (or some combination thereof) perhaps?
No, I think Tuj must be his initials. Now, the T is obviously Thomas, which is straightforward enough. The U is trickier -- a google search for "first name beginning with U" reveals Uffe as the only possibility; I must assume that he spells it Uphphe, though. And then the last name falls into place easily. You stand exposed ... Thomas Uphphe Jirribschreinnem!
10 points to Dujon
First 2 the wrong way round, and the surname missing an S at the end (think that's my fault), but right nonetheless. Until I go and change it to what CdM suggetsted, of course.
mane
My name's an anagram of "I'm tired" [CdM] LOL
mealweblis
Sounds better than "dim rite", anyway :-)
Oh, huge turds
(flerdle) Tim Reid? Gotta be!
anagrams
My full name is -- I bent cute lean ice frogs.
flerdle
Don't have an l in my name. In alphabetical order, first name is aeinprt.
more results
And there has been another change to the top of the celebrity league, well really what I mean is its snorgle .... again!!!! A majestic run allegedly started in August and interrupted breifly just three times .
Angus
I have NO idea where I got that from. Ah well.
celebdaq
Mwoohahaha! I have downtraded to just under 1 million, so fingers crossed for next week - let's see.. I wonder if it's too early for another Keanu binge?
[AP] Ah ... you must be a Petrina then. Please say you don't live anywhere near Salisbury, Wiltshire. I have knowledge of a Petrina in this area who's a bit erm ..

[snorgs] Well done gal. Perhaps you can tell me - WHY OH WHY when for the first time, I put my ten grand on a Royal thinking he's going to get shedloads of column cms because of What The Butler Did - his chuffin' share price goes down?

'daq
[snorgle] I'm set up for a Wayne Rooney payoff myself, but I haven't heard about his 18th birthday blow-out yet.
chalky
I'm constantly expanding my knowledge of Petrinas. There's very few of us around. I know of just two others - plus that one in Salisbury. Can you define 'a bit erm..'? I don't know what you mean. I'm not her though!
anagrams
Names, from first to last: 7, 6, y.
anagrams
I mean 7, 6, 8
rarity?
There was a girl at school a year after me called Petrina Green. This was not a large school, either. I see nothing unusual in the name.
Petrina?
I've never seen that name before it was mentioned here.
aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw
Clues: Three 'given' names - all common - and one 'family' name. Origin of family name, N.W. England (and, surprisingly quite a few in Ireland.) No I am not a 'scouse' and the family name does not begin with O'. Them as have seen my real name are constrained from posting; it'd hardly be fair! I must admit that I've never attempted an anagram of my names, so it will be interesting to see what appears on this page.
Memories....
I knew a Petrina who was at secondary school with me in Somerset, I think she moved to Yeovil - poor thing.
Tina the Ice Frog
Is your first name Rebecca? I can also get Tina from your letters but 7,6,8 won't allow it. I have a feeling I'm overlooking something obvious...
no c's
No Rebecca here. And Tina can be a nickname. In fact is.
Not a Becca
Hmm. Am I barking up the wrong tree assuming that you are Female?
Petrinas
[Huxley] Did she look like a witch?
[Angus] Definition of 'a bit erm ...' see above :-)
Qualifying street
Chalky] Do you mean 'a bit erm' in the assumption of gender sense or do you mean that I am 'a bit erm' too?
Tina] - I'd better qualify that 'cos you've said your nick-name is Tina...
Nicknames can be very deceptive. I knew a Fairy (male), a Pinny (male), a Pog (female) and a Beardy (female). I am male and was (boringly) hailed by surname.
Chalky] Oops. You meant she looked like a ...
What a dickhead I am :o)
Genderbiased
Bob]Yes, female, today anyway.
Chalky
[Huxley]Yes she did. At the time, her last name began with an "H" and ended with an "R".
chuckling at Bob
[Bob] Ah! So you don't look like a witch, eh? More like a dic.....
Lost
I could be wrong but it appears we haven't worked out the following

DrQu+xum - "Leg ringer - glory jog"
Wol - "ADDIIIKLLNVW"
LotUS - "OUI A MANGLED WIG" (my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname)
Fat German - "Random Horrid Wreckage"
Uncle Korky - "Lanky Baron Bronchitis"
Tina - "I bent cute lean ice frogs" (7,6,8)
and Dujon's recent "aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw" above.
Also Darren asked "Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar".
So no work for me today then.
[DrQ] Gregory?

Or "A top dative MS jinx"
Uncle K
Tranbon? Bontran?
Wol
David Winkill?
The Gettin' Aquainted Game
Blimey - at this rate we'll all be on first 'real' name terms pretty soon. Having done the birthdays/starsigns, I wonder what's next on the disclosure list? I have to say, though, it's rab I feel the most sympathy for - having to go through life with the surname Angrycake.
Huxley's Somerset Petrina
sorrysorrysorry multipost
I don't think it's the same one, Hux. Phew! The one here in Salisbury, apart from resembling a she-bat, was once extremely and unnecessarily rude to my mother, which I suppose somewhat colours my opinion of her.
Here we go
[Boolbar] Yup, but I usually go by my surname...and the J is just my middle initial.
[Btd] Winkill? That sounds like a wonderful suggestion. :)
[Duj] And all this time I thought VK2IUI was your name!
Anagrams
My dear old mum is 92 today - alive and well. Anyone like to have a go at the wonderful anagram of her maiden name - "Golden Manure". Two Welsh names.
Yes,but...
Willink sounds more likely, as I mentioned earlier.
[Rosie] Megan Lounder?
Du what jon?
Dujon] Ah ha! Do I have the pleasure of the company of Dr John Vollowbangs?
mum's the word
[Rosie] My grannie turns 94 in a couple of weeks. Her maiden name was rather odd/unusual, and comes out as "Shock Fido: beep!"
...or should that be ORKNEY LUCK...?
[Martha] I have to confess that I have an unconventional middle name (which was, in fact, my late mother's maiden name)...
Branton?
AABEEHHILMOTTSZ
Feeling the need to join in, although can't create a witty anagram so you just get the letters. (9,6)
Tricky these German names, eh, Tobias Hählmetz?
A ham Bizet hostel - Elizabeth Thomas
Lib
The Omaha Blitzes
Atomize hash belt
The Zambia hotels
And one that was *almost* interesting: Hot Blithe amazes.... :)
Re: Lib
"Blaze hot, his team!"
Lifting the disguise
[BtD] Very good! You've discovered that it indeed is Elizabeth Thomas in the drawing room with the lead piping!
Wiry Naked Anarch
Chuckling
[Btd] Nice one! At least the 'John' is right. ... :-)
Grow a penis
Not an insult or personal attack on any of you, but rather a classic American political anagram.
[DrQ, re your last] Omg.
Bang to rights.
[Martha] Got it in one!
flerdle's grandma
"coke-fed bishop".
Daq daq daq
As the league seems to be diminishing, I can offer my 3rd & 4th personas to fill any vacant places...
Concerning Tom's rent
I'm hopeless at anagrams. Plus, I think everyone knows my name - but just in case you don't, I will cheat..(and use one of those internet anagram thingies) Bam Sally on chin
Red carpet
Uncle Korky] I'd be willing to add your other accounts to the league, my greatest fear would be if snorgle opened a second or third with different potfolios. I have considered opening a third as a holding account with a couple of blue chip stock, then wait for a news story (which could take weeks). That way it can be put to one side bobbing around the bottom, just to be opened on fridays to check the divis. Its a different stategy I haven't tried yet. Anyone else?.
Post your id when your ready.
celebdaq
Don't worry! I can't be bothered to open up any others - this one seems to be going just fine. I don't know why I do so well, I just sink all my money into one or two of the most popular shares that I think will be in the papers a lot, and it seems to work. I also read the forums as they tend to name the popular ones - that was why last week I was 50/50 on Blaine and Tweedy.
Winkill
[Btd] I like it! - but MF was spot on. [Dujon] David Andrew John Blooghs? (One of the famous Blooghs brothers ...) - the capital I was cunning.
snorgle
Haven't figured out your name, but your letters come up with another anagram so incredibly wrong, I'm posting in white letters and already getting my coat. my balls on a chin
Stuff
(snorgle) Allison (or Alison) unusual-or-non-British-surname? (Martha Farquar) Mum's maiden name was Eluned Morgan. (Dr Q) Gregory J. Gollinger?
if you can't beat them.
well I have been looking at you lot and decided I would see what happeend with my name (christian/family)......I quite liked the following :-
Shrill Pit Probe.
Rebirth Psi Poll.
Bellhop Trip Sir ?
Brothels Rip Lip.
Brie Thrills Pop !
Hill Tribe Props.
Pre-British Poll.
Lo! Birth Ripples !
Both Reps Ill: RIP.
....or Help Lib Strip?
Poll B : I strip her.
ventriloquist Q?
[Dr Q] Gottle of Gollinger? :oD
Foo!
[Rosie] You should've known that already -- you've gotten e-mails from me before :P My great-grandmother's family were Morgans as well. Her whole dad's side came over circa 1870 and mined throughout Western Pennsylvania.
[pen] I'll have you know my dad is an amateur winemaker.... I'd send you some but I wager such stuff would not be exactly legal for export.
[St Dogmael] Is your name by any chance Robert Phillips? Or Philip R. Lobster? ;-)
nanny grams
[Rosie]Unusual given name (ie not english). [DrQ] :D
spot on !
JLE] Indeed it is. My sister is called Helen Lobster.
World of Petrinas
It is strange that everyone else's knowledge of the name is of someone who is a complete cow, or mental case! I hope I don't fit into that category...[goes off to worry in a corner] Just for the record, I've never lived in Salisbury or Yeovil or indeed anywhere in Somerset.
I'm always impressed by how dull anagrams of my name tend to be - I know I'd be pretty unhappy with seeing my name on a Scrabble rack.
Pert Deer Rang
That should take you a couple on minutes to decipher.
After a couple of minutes...
Peter Gardner, I presume?
Capital
[Wol] Sorry about the capital 'i', my error; at least being in alphabetical order must have helped. David is correct, so one given and the family name now required.
It appears I'm back.
Oy!
[Angus Prune] I said nothing of the sort!
Name appreciation
It's funny how one's reaction to a name can be coloured by the looks and personality of those one has met who carry such. To be honest my input to the naming of our daughter was certainly influenced by that aspect - damned if I know why as I am usually reasonably pragmatic (I think.) However, I did do my two children a disservice - although totally unintentionally - when they turned out to be Peter & Wendy ... some parents should be drawn and quartered!
One additional thing to think about, if you desire to avoid pain and suffering to your progeny: try to avoid using a vowel as the first letter of a middle name. Always look at what the initials spell. No joking.
Self-defence
(Dr Q) All I knew from your emails is that you were "Greg". The rest is informed guesswork. (Dujon) 3 given names, eh? As I know the answer I must shut up. (St Dogmael) Proper shit, Bill. Er, sorry.
Correctness
You are so right, flerdle. Together with my wife I attempted to make sure that there were no 'hidden' embarrassments. At the last minute (were we not stupid!) my daughter's second given name became Katherine. [Rosie] Given that you know my family name, I'm assuming that you have worked out (not too hard) the 'missing' one? Anyhoooo, schtum; it should not be too hard for the others.
middling
I don't have a middle name... none of my sisters do, neither did my father, and it was because my grandfather hated his that the tradition began. I sometimes thought that was why we were given rather more exotic first names than the norm (at the time we were born).
Parental naming.
If a different sperm gained victory, I would be called Elizabeth. As it was I narrowly avoided being Ashley (horrah!)
Increasing schizophrenia
[Inkspot] My other accounts are:
Mavic_Chen (3402569) &
Johnny_McDozenlegs (3411069).
proper shit, bill!
rosie] that's the best yet ! I must say I would have quite liked the initials RIP. :o) As it is I am RDP, which I also quite like I suppose, especially as it appears to be written at the edges of Fuji 120 roll film (RDP III) so I claim it ALL as my own. Apparently I was named after an Argentinian Golfer (Roberto di Vicenza)
Stuff
(St Dog) I didn't use an anagram-finder; it's just my filthy mind. If I had one of those dismal personalised car reg's the prime one for me would, I suppose, be 1TCH. My middle name is even more unusual and Welsh than my first name, and maybe unique at the present time, though you can find it on a map. No clues.
...and I claim my £5!
[Rosie] Tudor Clwyd Hughes?
'Y' reg - why Reg?
I was amused by a van in front of me with rearranged reg. M3 0W MY and disappointed in a car owner who missed the opportunity to rearrange A 12 SED.
wordage
Saw a sign outside a hairdresser's yesterday - 'Due to short staff, we will close at 4.30 today'. Also one in Ann Summers fitting room 'Please ask for assistance before entering' - had to share with the MC community! [flerdle]Which bit in particular?
Personal Plates
[Rosie] Well, I've tried to keep my personalised plates fairly simple - when I had an Audi A3 in Britain, I bought the plate "A3 DNX" (I saw at least one other A3 owner who had bought an "A3" plate too, so it wasn't just me). My TT here in Oregon has the plate "TT DNX" to maintain the tradition.

I saw quite an amusing one the other day... Oregon allows you to put pretty much any combination of six characters on your plate, with spacing of your choice. Usually the characters are centred, but someone had thought to put spaces in front of their word and: "  ASKEW"

Well, I liked it.

trying to remember...
[Angus Prune] The one I know is nice, not a weirdo.
Angus] I know a nice one too. Odd how experiences of names colour expectations. I always expect anyone called Tom to be fat. Josephines are manic and Phils are exceptionally hairy. I am a James...
That's interesting -- I've always remarked on the fact that everyone I've met named Brad has been a complete dickhead. Apologies to any Brads reading this...
Being hammered.
Bloody Hell!
It's bad enough being nailed down from time-to-time without being pilloried. (S'OK, Riff - only joking.)
Names
(Uncle K) Good guess! But wrong. Carry on. (B the D) To me, Josphines are...well...luscious, as are Sophies. (Dunx) Nice to see a bit of wit on a car plate. Don't get much of it over here. (All) Unfortunately, names can be a dead giveaway of social class and age though there are agreeable and surprising exceptions. I'd think I'd better stop there.
I'm possible
[Rosie] Surely not 'Cardiff'? That would be unique!
Brads and Sophies and Jims - oh my!
Sophies are a bit thick in my experience. My only experience of a Brad was from Neighbours years ago, and James is my father - nuff said! Sarahs and Jennies will always be the school bullies and Carol the friendly Brownie Guide leader!
Carols and Vals
I think I had a Brownie Leader called Val and a Guide Leader called Carol. Helens were in charge of the school playgound, Rebeccas were always lovely, Richards were always mean to me when I was 11 and Marks were good at football.
Just in case
Never trust a Richard, that's what I say...
If you think I've been unfair on Toms and Jos...
Angus] I shall have to start wearing cardigans with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe, reading the Sunday Times and asking the terrier to bring me my burgundy slippers then ;o)
Tracys are treacherous, Janets are kind, Lucys are imaginative, Peters are usually elderly, Johns are traditional and go to Church and/or have high moral fibre, Gareths are wily psychopaths, Steves are tough on the outside (but are marshmallow inside), Elizabeths are erotic, Julians are skinny, Joans are demanding and Mikes are obsessive and keep Pugs.
wading in ...
OK - may as well join the name-fest. All opinions grossly coloured by personal experience, naturally...
Ben's are brooding and charismatic; Paul's are sexy; Tim's are cute and need mothering; John's are very much as Bob has described [ = stuffy and a tad pompous], Mike's are alcoholics and every Andy I've known has been 'a bit of a geezer'. Oh yes - Charlie's are unfailingly popular, good company and amusing.
More prejudice
May as well 'do' some girls to even up the score. Kates are jolly and outgoing, whereas Catherines (and their various misspelt namesakes) are more reserved but usually a good egg. Jennys tend to be quiet and a bit secretive, Lucys prim and proper on the outside but probably quite wild inside whilst Sarahs are uptight and very image-conscious. Meanwhile I'm afraid that nearly every Laura I've ever met has been dull, dull, dull...
Back to Rosie's middle name
Colwyn? Conwy? Carnmarthen? Caernarfon? Caerphilly? Caldicot? Crickhowell? Chepstow? Criccieth? Clynnog? Ceredigion? Cwmdu? Cadair-Idris? Cambrian Mountains (The)?
girls
I never met a Claire that I didn't like so far. Also I seem to have a lot of Helen variants in my life at the moment [Sister Helen. flatmate Helena, good friend Hélène] and they are also all lovely. Tom's are usually very nice chaps though clumsy. Justines normally work in PR for Renault, and have very corny senses of humour.
Rosie] It's Carn-Ingli isn't it ?
indignant
rab] Misspelt? Misspelt? I'll have you know that the 'K' version of my name is just as traditional. Having said that, my particular spelling is unashamedly American - something to do with my father having the hots for the film star, Kathryn Grayson [so my mother tells me].
It's taken 2 simulposts to get this posting on to the screen ... must be busy 'out there'.
Simulposts
Simulposts part deux
Sorry Chalky, one of those would have been me misspelling Carmarthen.
simulsimulsimulposts
No apology necessary, Bigsmith. It's every man/woman for themselves. BTW - nice to see you :-)
stereo-typing similposts
rab] (yes!) I have to agree on the Laura front. Elaines are tall and broad (matronly), Joys are fey, Claires are outgoing and charismatic, Zoes are irresistible to all men and pretend they don't know it, Megans go to Cambridge Uni and get firsts, Felicitys are faithful and "enthusiastic”, Susans are calm and smart, Sandras are good at drawing dogs, Joannes are maternal, Julies work in travel agencies and K©atherines work so hard it makes an 82 hour week seem like a holiday in the Maldives.

On the bloke front, Daves, Petes, Donalds, Kevins, Rogers, Phils, Zebedees, Jamess etc are intimidated by Elaines, charmed by Joys, befriended by Claires, teased by Zoes, put in their place by Megans, married to Felicitys, sorted out by Susans, uncomfortable with Sandras, comfortable with Joannes, itemised by Julies and reprimanded by K©atherines for making such sweeping generalisations about female personalities.
First Ladies
I find it is the first letter that counts. I generally find that women with names beginning with J or K to be great all-rounders. E's are usually friendly and have a thing about Cliff Richard. A's are aggresive. B's are lacking in the brain department. M's and R's are beautiful but with problems. T's make for good wives. W's are off with the fairies. Z's are good at putting men down with lightning wit. C's tend to hide away and N's would be good at running the country.
My middle name
(Bigsmith, Duj, St D) None of the above. You may need a larger-scale map. Also it's the name (or pen-name) of a long-dead Welsh poet. Definitely not Chirk, which may just resonate with ex-Pants members, or, thank God, Cwmbran.
[CK]ath[ea]?r[iy]ne?s
(...for those who understand Perl regexps...)

[Chalky] Tongue-in-cheek, of course. The spelling doesn't really matter, but there is definitely a distinction between Kates, Katies and the above...

[BtD] Have to agree with you on almost all of those. I would also lump Jo(h)annas in with your Joannes... Also is it just me, but girls with hyphenated names can be a bit wet, possibly deriving from an indecision on the part of their parents.

[rab] :-) I get called Katy quite a lot by certain friends - must be when I'm being jolly. But usually I'm Kathryn to my mother, and Kathy to everyone else. The only name I object to is Kath - which always sounds like the cleaning lady. Anyway - enough of me ...
[Rosie] Do we know how many letters there are in your mysterious, geographical, extremely rare, begins with C middle name?
first letters..
What about S? (My real first name starts with S too..)
Sssss
[snorgle] S's usually wear woolly jumpers in the summer and laugh a lot.
continued exposure
[snorgle] Bam Sally On Chin? Did anyone get your anagram? If not - what's the letter split, I'll try and guess it.
Bool] What about J's?
[BtD] See above for female J's. I don't find it works for males.
i do not wear woolly jumpers in the summer!
chalky - 7 and 7..
My middle name that no-one knows
(Chalky) There are seven. People in Wales would know it. About 15 years ago I had a nasty car smash (not my fault, for once) in Croydon, Whitehorse Road. The police had to be called because the car was blocking the road and the copper who took my name was Welsh. He pronounced my middle name better than I did. Very embarassing, because my own speech, while mostly RP, has a good dash of saaf London in it. (snorgle) Surname Binchly? First name - I wouldn't be so bold. (Chalky, again) A friend has a daughter Kathryn (b. 1972) who now wishes to be called Kay. There's a main street in Croydon called Katharine Street, but the interesting thing is that locals, including me, always pronounce the last syllable to rhyme with "wine", "dine", "line" etc. There you go, as Melvyn Bragg would say.
Miss Pronunctiation
[Rosie] "ine" as in "wine"? Not a bad idea, I suppose, but my daughter's middle name rhymes with 'in', 'bin', 'sin' - which, in retrospect, was probably the correct thing to do. ... ;-) On your middle name, I shall drag out the atlas and have a hunt.
[snorgle] I am 'stumped' at the moment ... possibly my grey matter playing up ... Is your first name one which you would consider as common or is it rather unusual (as per Rosie's middle title)?
Bum
Off to Leeds for the day, so I'll probably have to bow out of the current round of AVMA guessage. Oh well... also slightly hungover after a complicated situation involving two bad pubs, three bottles of wine, a colleague of my nearest and dearest and my housemate...
Welsh poets
Rosie> Would it be Ceiriog, from John Ceiriog Hughes (1832-1887)? The surname led me to it. Also a small forest near Wrexham. If this isn't right then I'm afraid I for one will need another clue as I'm otherwise stumped. Chalky> Nice to be back ;-)
naming of names
snorgle] Sybilla?.
Rosie] By jove - I think B'Smiths got it!
Re. the 'wine' at the end of Katherine - 'tis heard in many a Shakespearean romp - enables the acTORRRR to en-UN-ciate and prrro-JECT the name in the finest tradition of Luvvie Deliverrreh [think Brian Blessed in The Taming of the Shrew].
Sybilla? Binchley? :D
My first name isn't in english, to be fair. My surname starts with 3 consonants, but isn't foreign.
snorgle's name
Oh, is it "Tchea-Fruit" like in Neopets?
Snorgling
Siobhan?
Neopets?
Darren, all those drugs are bad for you. You should stop taking them now. ooh simulpost! That's right Bob the Dog! My surname goes well with it too...
making up new names . . . .
simulposted twice ! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?
And I now see that BtD got there first . . . .
Stuff
(Bigsmith) Congratulations. That's me. Not sure about the forest you mention, but there's a river and village with the name. See http://www.chirk.com/ceiriog.html My Dad was from Glynceiriog. Bit of a writer himself. (Chalky) Never thought of it that way, the streets of Croydon not being awash with thespians. Another example could be Gilbert and Sullivan's "conservatives", rhyming with "knives". (snorgle) Would one of those three consonants be a "y"? Hmm...I'll have to have a think.
Little McNally?
Bool - great minds etc. - simulposted 4 times!. My message was to be
"simulposted! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?"
Uncanny McNally
Gimmie pie
I have just been offered some pumpkin pie, fresh from the oven and made with our own eggs and pumpkins. Wow it is good! Anyone else for a slice? snorgle] Are we right?
I'll shut up soon
Siobhan - is this you?
namesakes
Yep - you're all right. Except for Rosie. [Bob the dog] No, although I've seen that before! Apparently my namesake works for the Sunday Mirror.. there's also a Queen of the Universe!
Ceiriog Valley
(Rosie) Checked out the website - I've been thereabouts, many years ago on a canal boat holiday on the Llangollen. I was therefore most interested in the page about the aquaducts. Just the ticket for a boring Friday afternoon in the office - thanks old chap!!
I Want Pie
[Btd] My first Thanksgiving two years ago when I met my now brother-in-law for the the first time was memorable mainly for his reaction to the news that I Had never had pumpkin pie, and yet it's barely known outside the US. Very strange.

Actually, I tell a lie - a Bulgarian colleague was telling me that there is a Bulgarian pumpkin pie, but it is more akin to baclava with pumpkin layered between the pastry.

Laid, Unsprayed and Made in England
Dunx] This is a UK pie to a US recipe. Best I've had.
Pie! Pie! Pie!
Bob the Dog] E-mail me some pie as an attachment. In addition to the pie, we have the wonderful mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, cole slaw with a hint of horseradish, sometimes sweetpotatoes, cranberry jelly on rolls with butter, and creamed onions (small white onions in a cream sauce with celery seed as the primary flavoring). And of course, there's the turkey. I like the crisp skin the best.
stop it!
You're making my mouth water - I'm having Tuna Steak tonight. And I want to have a bash at making a chowder. Has anyone got any recipes for chowders other than the clam variety because a) I don't like seafood and 2) Tesco's don't have clams.
Yummyons
Tina] Please send recipe for creamed onions - it is a dish we don't do here!
surreal spamming
My most recent wierd spam subject was Re:Handbags of antelopes. Whaaa?
Bob Yummyons
Will do, but it will take a couple of sessions. My family is very possessive of its recipes.
surreal spam
(snorgle) HANDBAAAGS? (© Dame Judy Dench). Did you read the spam?
spamspamspam
It was something about mortgages, apparently. Hotmail blocks linked images from appearing for privacy, so I missed out on some no doubt vital and personally useful information, but there you go. The ones I hate are the sneaky subjects like re:report, or I'm sorry I offended you. But surreal ones are at least vaguely amusing..
Creamed Onions for Bob the Dog
Just got this note from my sister in Albuquerque. "use small, not tiny, white onions. Boil them until tender. Drain and add a tiny bit of flour mixed in some milk, then some cream, salt, pepper and butter. I don't have any meaurements. I also add some parsley or finely sliced scallions. I often add a piece of garlic when boiling." As to the garlic and scallions, my mother never did that. For the salt, she used celery salt.
more drum roll
There has been a change at the top at Celebrity MC congratulations to Chalky in going to No1 just two weeks after being kneecapped.
Inkspot's previous
PANIC! Thanks for your report; However, unlike Chalky I'm panicking. Just changed horses for the bolt to the line; am I going to fall over into the 2-million (grab two green wads and convert them to a flashy car) or am I going to be robbed of my £950,000 and fall back into the arms of the following wolves? My heart is racing, my brow is perspiring and, frankly m'dear I couldn't give a damn. Err, well I do, really, after the extraordinary effort of the last week should I make the new podume I shall have a 'big think' about why I'm doing this. Stupid game... rigged... the ref's are biased... and so on - I WANT A FLASH CAR. ........ Sulks.
Tina
Thank you! I will try this - although being a bloke I tend to rely on measurements for my cooking. I probably start with a white sauce recipe - and I'll have to get some celery salt.
celebdaq
I'm just 200 000 short myself of the magic 2 million mark - pleasepleaseplease let there be a run on Paul and Heather McCartney! I won't get a flashy car (already got one!) but I hate just being short by such a small amount. If I can get 2 wads of cash, I only need 1 more for a flashy yacht! I can go sailing in the Mediterranean then.. :)
Idioms
Need everyone's help. My sister, in America, wants to know what it means to have to paint the "fourth bridge." Can someone help?
I think it refers to the Forth Bridge, which, it is said, takes so long to paint that, once the painters have done a complete coat, it's time to begin repainting it again, so the job never ends.
eep!
Indeed. Unfortunately, to save money, they stopped painting it regularly, and huge rusty chunks started falling off it, particularly onto North Queensferry. (My dad lives near there and I've seen it myself). I try not to think of the massive bolts on the ground when crossing on the train..
thanks
Thanks for the answers.
celebdaq
Curses! Only 1 wad of cash, I must have just missed it..
wads
snorgle]your not alone with your wad. Come on board my luxury yacht just off Crete, and I'll break out another Bolly:)
Handbags of antelopes
Could spam create another game? With game moves being titles of spam in your mailbox?
Measurements for Cooking
I like to know how much of everything as well - but I still throw things into the oven at whatever temperature I think is best and cook until not quite black.
3oz ketchup
Bool] I'm jealous! My other half has that talent - the Jackson Pollock school of cookery. She can throws it all in and it becomes a feast.
Sponge
[BtD] I remember her cake - very tasty.
Cooking temperatures
(Boolbar) So may I say "well done"? The term used in the chemical industry is "pyrolyse". :-)
it's too hot, baby
In creative cookery, and when taken to extremes, ain't that 'Cajun style'?
Bad luck, snorgle. You have my condolences - it happened to me once. I was lucky with my selection and managed the new car. Ah well, back to the grindstone - now I have to pay its running costs.
cross posting - terribly sorry
DearI’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue listener, ThisThis is to bring you advance knowledge of a special Christmas show, entitled I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Christmas Carol, which will be recorded on Thursday 18th December at the Logan Hall, University of London, 20 Bedford Way, London WC1H 0AL.It is something of a change from the usual format, in that there will be no desks… Instead, the programme’s regulars will be telling the story of miserable Ebenezer Scrumph and his put-upon assistant Crotchet, with appearances from the ghosts of Christmases Future, Present and Pissed. No prizes for guessing who plays what here. They will be supported by a cast of regular guests of the programme, including Jeremy Hardy, Sandi Toksvig, Tony Hawks, Andy Hamilton and Linda Smith with Stephen Fry as the narrator. Tickets are £7.50 each, and will go on sale from 9a.m. tomorrow (Tuesday 4th November). They are being sold by a ticketing company called Warnes, and can be purchased over by phone with a credit card by calling 020 8545 2737 between 9a.m. – 5p.m. Monday to Friday. Please note that the sum debited will appear on your statement as Warnes Mail Marketing Ltd, and that they don’t take American Express. Alternatively you can apply for tickets by emailing LindaR@warnes.co.uk Reservations by e-mail should contain your name, your card details, your address, the quantity of tickets required and a telephone number in case of a problem with the card. If you prefer, you can send the first part of the credit card number in one e-mail, followed by the second part and expiry date in a second. N.B. When using a 'Switch' Card, you must quote the "Commencement Date, Expiry Date and Issue Number" if there is an issue number. That is all :o)
ISIHACC
Bugger - that's the works' Christmas Party night.
[Bigsmith] Work Schmirk!
[penelope] Party Hearty!!
Pen/Bigs] Babysitter Scmabyitter.
Foo!
[pen] Ocean schmocean. :(
New puppy scmuppy
[pen] Praise be to those who share news! Not that I can go.
Engaged Schmengaged
not me .... the telephone line
Babysitters mademebitter
Argh! *Sobs quietly*
wierd babysitters
I had a mad babysitter who made green popcorn and owned several hundred sets of salt&pepper shakers. She also kept every single newspaper (free or not) that she ever got. You could only go through her house via a single path through the vast piles of newspaper. She sent us her brother's autopsy report several years after we moved. I have NO IDEA why - but it had quite a vivid description of his lungs, as he died partly from pneumonia.
harmless nutters
[snorgle] Was that in Canada - or is she still at large in the UK?
harmless hillbillies
You are fortunate - she lived in Ottawa. She may be dead by now, too. She came from a line of Quebecois hillbillies and both her brother and sister who lived with her were... strange - they were mute, but made wierd noises which terrified us kids. Pity really, because they weren't mean, just trying to be friends..
crazy lady
the newspapers thing reminds me of a film i saw once - set in Finland or Norway or Canada or somewhere, with a lady who stacked newspapers all over her house just how you describe. There was a child involved I think who got taken away. A very nice film.
stacking
[snorgle] That morbid collecting of newspapers is a great deal more common than you might think... there was a series on a few years ago (before I left the UK, although I never watched it) called something like "Sanitation Inspectors" where their whole job was to go into the houses of people who had become obsessed with this kind of collecting and clear out the junk.

I have a colleague whose neighbours did this too. The developer who now owns their property has been trying to clear out the house for six months now. Quite sad, really.

Obsessive collecting
Yes - there was a case about 200 yards from where I live. The occupant (male I think) was found dead amongst his collections. There was a room in the house with only two feet of space left at the top.

My Dad is a little like this too - he can't bear to part with things, especially if he feels that there is a possibility it can be repaired or reused. I think he has three partially operative video recorders. Come to think of it, my Mum was a little like that too (never threw a jam-jam or biscuit-tin out) - mind you, she reused them all. I wonder if it comes from a wartime childhood?
Or an anti-consumption ethic - which for better or worse I share.
[Btd] What does tuberculosis have to do with it?

Still, as a member of a collecting family, I can hardly point the finger too aggressively. My wall of Trek tapes would only point back.

anti-discardation
I throw everything away, unless I remember what it is, it brings back a recollection of something, or I think I might use it someday in a book.
[Tina] Well, that last one has been my excuse to keep probably about half of my possessions. Fifteen years later, and I haven't written a blessed word about any of it.
writing
[dunx] But it's so nice to THINk about writing.
Junk
Given the response to clutter I am ever so glad that none of you have seen my workshop! As far as writing goes, I think that none of my 'stuff' would assist me in that venture - although I did think a few months ago that I might attempt some sort of novel. I did - it's still on page three! Perhaps some sort of regime may help (both subjects); maybe save one hour per day for each? This would mean the workshop should be cleared and tidied by 2020 and a manuscript organised by, say, 2005. Hmmm. ;-)
Chucking things out
I've just about cured myself of (a) keeping any bit of paper with spare space on it, and (b) thinking of butter as a luxury. Result of an immediate post-war childhood when these items were a bit short, to say the least.
Angus Prune
What ho! Just fancied sharing a thought that Haz got from an insightful friend:
How do "Keep Off The Grass" signs get there?

other pearls of wisdom included:

Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work any more?

If WilE Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?

Why do Fat Chance and Slim Chance mean the same thing?

And who opened that first oyster and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't *this* look yummy!"

...of no particular consequence but you have to share the laughter...
Err
[ZK] Chuckles.

Why are not Bactrian camels more prolific than Dromedaries given that the former has more humps than the latter?

Grumpy wake-up Bird anti consumer
Oh bugg*r did I say anti-consumption? At some point I'll get enough sleep. ZK - :o)
Collecting
Ridiculous collecting of piles of junk is a common symptom of OCD. I have OCD and overpowering urges to do that kind of thing, but fortunately I have it more under control these days - although my collection of old Tube tickets amazes all who are fortunate enough to gaze upon it. I think the secret is a sort of displacement - if I focus on collecting a single kind of crap, I can throw away things like receipts or old cinema tickets with relative ease.
crap'n'junk
I've taught myself how to do it over the years - part of the solution is to recognise when you're in a mood to throw out emotional baggage, and the stored crap associated with it. Anything I haven't used in the past two years is unlikely to be used again, so it goes either for recycling or to charity. There are exceptions, of course - my reindeer skin, pocket TV, tennis shoes and velvet coat. I *hate* small bits of paper and get rid of them ASAP.
tibet
I was once sorely tempted to put everything I owned in a large pile and cover it in paraffin and set fire to it, and then sod off to Tibet and join a monastery. Still, in my more lucid moments, this strikes me as an eternally good idea.
Throw it away!
I've moved accomdation quite a few times in the past year this made me quickly realise that junk should be thrown away. I now can fit all my possessions in the back of my car. But as I'm looking into buying a house in the near future no doubt that my stuff will expand to fill as much space as I buy!
Junk
[Lib] You'd be amazed. I've owned a house for two years and have gone from being a man with a bed and a stereo to being a man with a bigger stereo, widescreen TV, surround sound, kitchen tables, bookcases, tools, and no less than 3 sofas. My stuff has expanded to fill my house and I could probably fill my neighbour's house with what's in the loft. How it happened I do not know. My advice to you is that, once you have a home of your own and space in which to store things, that things suddenly gravitate towards you. Learn to sidestep them....
Ikea is the root of all evil.
Avoid storage. If you buy things like cupboards, boxes, drawers, shelves to store all that junk then you just give yourself more space to fill with more junk which requires more storage and so on until you reach the point where to have more storage, you need a bigger house. You move to a bigger house which involves packing, so you throw away about 50% of your junk and end up in a house with loads of space. Ideal for filling with junk.
male junket
Virtually everything I own is 2nd hand and at the end of its usefulness just goes back to the charity shop. All, that is except my own compulsive obsessive collection of CDs. They stay.

I have heard that men suffer far more from OCD than women (examples include trainspotters, twichers and - ahem - sexual fanatics) and that this is linked to autism - thus linking maleness with communication problems. Anyone else heard of this?
OCD
[Bob] I think men do indeed suffer more from OCD then women, but I'm not necessarly sure that I'd call trainspotters obsessive. Like all things in life its not black and white. I think one of the main criteria for a diagnosis of OCD to be made is the fact that it inteferes with normal life and the intense feelings that come from not doing the compulsion. Linking maleness with communication problems is quite a vast step, can I turn the tables and suggest that women communicate too much?
second hand clucks
[Bob] I fear for your chickens when they reach the end of their egg productivity ;-).
OCD - I always thought it affected males and females equally and this might support that [unless they do things differently over there].
[Lib] Have just spotted your post as I was simul-ing - I agree - the link between the two is a HUGE step.
did u know ur a googlewhack? its penchant gazump
whacked
[paul] Who ... me? :-)
Men! Sweeping statement MkII
chalky] Nah - chickens are safe. Anyway, they are a variety that remain productive until they are 7 years old!
Lib] sorry - yes, trainspotting is not really OCD but I felt it may be linked to the kind of one-dimensional thought processes that males sometimes exhibit. I know loads of blokes who obsess about everything from computers to sport - girls seem to share this 'single mindedness' only when it concerns self preservation and children. Am I being extremely unfair to my own gender? Regarding communication - I find it incredibly difficult to talk to other men unless I share a passion with them, or are they are effeminate. In social situations, I enjoy hearing women and effeminate men talk because you are so much better at discussing emotional subjects.
OCD
I do actually suffer from an OCD which I now have more or less under some form of control, the details of which I will not go into, but I can say from very very painful experience that trainspotting has nothing in common, nothing whatsoever, not even close, not so much a different ballpark but a different sport played by the wrong rules by people trained in scuba diving wearing spacesuits. Believe me, a true OCD is life-destroying, it's all consuming to the point where you cannot function at all, you forget to eat, you forget to sleep, you care only about your OCD. Obsessive behaviour is very common in males, especially I think with the type of males who frequent this type of website (myself included), but it's not a disorder.
muscling in on Bob/Lib dialogue
It is interesting that the terms 'nerd' and 'geek' are usually applied to the male gender and that may be because - sweeping generalisation alert - they appear to be more pastime/hobby/enthusiast/fancier orientated. Perhaps they have more time on their hands?
BTW Bob - how would you define an 'effeminate' man? Are you referring to those of a homosexual persuasion or those who are in touch with their feminine side?
boys who like girls
Bob] Methinks that living in a house with three females doesn't help you in this. I must admit I like talking to girls as well ;o)
Girls v boys
On the subject of hobbies - I wonder if this is a cultural thing. It might be that young boys are more often encouraged to persue their hobbies and interests. I can's offer any observations about young girls cos neither I nor my brother was one. And I suspect that by the time we stopped being scared of them, and actually started liking them, this was unlikely to be the kind of question we were interested in. So what do parents get their daughters doing?
brothers & daughters
[rab] good question and one which I'm sort of qualified to put my two pennorth in, being the only girl with three brothers as well as mother of girls. Boys [in general] are happy to pursue a hobby on their own. Girls [in general] are more responsive to peer group pressure and prefer to do the hobby stuff with their friends. My 13-year old is far more enthusiastic about the drama club that all her cool friends attend, than the piano lessons where she has to go it alone, even though she is far more talented piano-wise than drama-wise.
playing
As a child I spent a lot of time playing with my brother. As he was older this generally consisted on him chasing me, him jumping on me, him spraying me with a hose then locking me out of the house. And other activities like rugby, scalelectrix, hockey and taunting. But I did possess dolls and played with them with my female friends when I wasn't being terrorised by my big bro! My mum was particularly keen for me to persue my hobbies chosen by her, eg piano and violin practice which went down about as well as the insults from my brother!
meant to say
[FG] Well done for getting it under control, and long may it continue. I've heard that its worse than a herion addiction, so it can't have been easy.
OCD and Friends
Re: throwing things away (or not, as the case may be) - I don't suffer from OCD, but I do exhibit a fair number of ADD behaviours1. ADD is apparently quite often misdiagnosed as OCD, depending on the particular collection of behaviours exhibited. The behaviour which leads to collecting massive amounts of stuff is a decision making shortfall.

[1] ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is a bad name, but it is also the name assigned to whatever ADD is. Personally, I don't think it's a disorder of the individual so much as a mismatch between how society trains people to behave and how some people's brains work, but there we are. The effect is much the same.

who like girls who like boys
Rab] I'm a dad with girls. I've not tried to push dresses or football on them, but they are naturally girly. Friends with boys agree, gender stereotypes are produced by the child choosing the behaviour patterns that they feel most comfortable with.
Chalky] (Beware - beware more sweeping generalisations) I mean those with the (generally) female characteristic of being able to communicate. This includes homosexual men. Some of the people I get on with best are gay because I like the way they can empathise. One of my best friends is only so because he made a pass at me. I, however, am hetero.
st d] Yeah - seven females vv me... sometimes I crave for a blokey night out at the local where we can eat raw (freshly hunted) buffalo steak and drink gallons of beer after a night wolf-whistling, playing rugby and mud wrestling.
mud wrestling ?!?
Well Mr Bob the Dog, I can help you out in the drinking beer stakes, but I think I will leave the mud-wrestling to the others.
Dogwrestling
Oh I wasn't clear - mud wrestling (with) girls :o)
Disorders and the single Qu+xum
OCD-no.
ADD-most likely; never been diagnosed as such but I suspect it's the case.
Me & women-I can talk to women on a strictly professional basis. However, if it gets even mildly personal (and I'm not sufficiently pissed), I basically turn into a paralyzed crab. Of course, talking Linux and cricket (sometimes simultaneously) doesn't draw the hotties here in Pittsburgh. :|
Diagnosis
[Dr Q] I was only diagnosed because the coping strategies I had developed made me depressed. I self-treated and resolved to stop using those coping strategies, but then I wasn't coping and I became depressed.
OCD&ADD
I wanted to write a little about how much I respected FG and Dunx for coping with OCD and ADD and having the courage to express it here. However, I'm a bloke, so I could never do a thing like that because it may reveal my blousey emotional side ;o)
seconding that emotion
[Bob] Hear hear. Also to Dr Q for disclosing paralysed crab tendencies when faced with laydeez who don't necessarily wish to talk business. Now that surprised me a little, although it shouldn't really - we often assume we 'know' someone based on our familiarity with their online persona.
It's a lot easier to sound sophisticated and erudite when you have the time to pick your words carefully. For example, if this were a face-to-face conversation, I probably wouldn't have said 'erudite' just now.
OCD?
Have ADD, only officially 'labelled' in 2000. However, like many 'sufferers', I have a high IQ, and had learnt to disguise it over the years, along with my lysdexia
lysdexia
deslyxia
axeldysi
dislexya
ah! Daily Sex! I think I'll keep that one...
Being honest
My proclivity for the amassment of huge piles of 'stuff' has absolutely nothing to do with ADD/OCD or any other disorder - apart from disorder itself; it is pure and unadulterated laziness. I do not collect objects in the sense of an aim in itself. I have, over many decades, learned to live with this affliction and simply accept it as 'me'. I do sympathise with those who have such leanings - that's the compulsive side of a personality - as I have had something similar for many, many years now but which is not at all related to the collection/arrangement side of things ... no, I'm not going into it here.

[Riff] You are correct, to a point, but is it just that you are afeared that the other parties to a conversation may be ignorant of the meaning of certain words and, therefore, you 'lower' your language to the level that you surmise is acceptable?

Psychological Disorders
I did a test online today for those. Luckily, I appeared to score low on pretty much every disorder, although I tested as "moderate" for Schizotypal, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Paranoid and "High" for Histrionic and Avoidant. Happily, I know what none of these things mean, with the exception of obsessive-compulsive disorder (ocd) which anyone who knows me knows is rubbish (coathangers, anyone?) I'll go with Dujon. I'm just lazy.
Trainspotting
Locospotting if you don't mind. As a 12-yr-old I was a locospotter, but it was all steam in those days, and also regarded as quite normal. We all indulged in serious trespass in pursuit of engine numbers. But these days if I see a 30-yr old in an anorak, yes!, at the end of a platform noting the numbers then there's something seriously wrong. It's not OCD; just sad. How can anyone be interested in a sodding diesel? No charisma. And they don't talk.
Can talk business (any time) or small-talk (after a pint) with anyone, male or female, though am often told my small-talking style is much more like a woman's than a man's (well I did learn it from my mother, pretty much a single divorced parent.) Can talk "football/rugby/insert sport of choice here" with anyone in the bar, drunk or sober, owing to fine memory for statistics. Can only talk "personal" with girls, never guys, and only on an abstract basis, otherwise go into paralyzed-crab mode. Actually prefer talking to women rather than men. Frequently have gay men making passes at me - never women (and have an equally annoying tendency to try to chat up women who then turn out to be lesbians. I didn't know there *was* such a thing as reverse gaydar...) Am totally straight and thus pissed off at the above situation.
Not sure about AD(H)D or OCD, but I suspect a reasonable case could be made, especially for the former. And in the latter case, I'm a minor obsessive who hates people that get more obsessive than me (about anything) but defends his right to be *this* obsessive ;-)
disclaimer
there is, of course, scientific proof for each, and severe cases can be quite crippling. On a lighter note, has anyone taken this test? http://www.penddraig.co.uk/pen/tests/sanity.htm
Oh laaaaaaaaaaaaaadeeeeeeeeeeee!
[Chalky] Pro'lly because we've never met in person. Of course, if it's a large enough crowd, I can just go about being the sarcastic, heavily vulgar, semi-humourous arsehole I usually am.
Then again, most members of the American female persuasion find me decidedly unattractive anyway, so I don't have to put up with it that often.

And as for rubbish...I'm a packrat. Nothing will be thrown out. EVER.

[ZK] 30.1%. Am I nuts?
Nost what?
Ah, Rosie, you tickled a few synapses there! Trespass indeed! True though; if you did it now, there'd be a couple of policemen crawling down an embankment to ask you funny questions. Even after I came to Australia I still kept an interest in steam engines (although my older brother was a real afficianado; he had records - that's 12" LPs - of various engines, trains, locations which were marvellous.) In those days (and we did) we used to travel on the local electric trains out to Penrith where some of the engines were turned around on a turntable to enable the return journey back through the mountains. Marvellous stuff. The 'lads' there even welcomed us and showed us around, let us watch the operations and explained any questions we may have had. To those of you younger than I, please accept my apologies for a bit of reminiscing.
Crazy
[ZK] Rubbish. According to that site I'm only 17.45454543% disadvantaged. That is demonstrably incorrect, otherwise I wouldn't be here and, certainly, would not take such a revealing quiz. Ptooe. ... ;-)
wibble
I am insaner than thou! ;)
Them engines
[Duj] I'm significantly younger than ye :), but I fully understand the fascination with the old engines. (Remind me to send you the pic of my great-grandfather and his engine.) You can often find videotapes and DVDs here of rail journeys. Next time I head up to Horseshoe Curve or other such rail history in Western PA I'll see if I can find any.
steam trains
has anyone been to sheringham? funky steam trains there, although a bit limited. was a big fan of Thomas the Tank Engine when younger but by the time I came along, they didn't make 'em like that any more! Nevertheless, I will always hold an affinity for Ringo Starr and his funnelled companions.
[Dujon] A good point, and that's probably at least a little of it (particularly if I have a low opinion of the intelligence of the person I'm talking to). But I tend to be shy around people I don't know, and the pressure to maintain a conversation in that situation makes me default to easier words simply because it's hard enough to string a sentence together as it is. In a more relaxed situation with friends, the more complicated words come more easily, and if someone doesn't know a word, I shrug and define it for them. Another aspect of it, probably, is that with people I don't know, the topic of conversation is rarely complicated enough to require any specialized vocabulary.

[re: junk] My excuse for accumulating huge piles of junk is that I might want to glue some of it together into sculpture. Of course, this rarely happens, but the fact that it does happen once in a while makes it that much harder to throw any of it away. From where I'm sitting, I can count nine empty cigarette boxes (one of them an interesting little slide-drawer thing), an attractive Harrods cookie tin, and a large lump of rusty metal that I haven't any idea what it is.

30.113636363636363%
Mwhahahahahahhaha!
sleep deprivation
Don'tcha just LOVE these cosy late night chats?
Or
Half pickled Thursday afternoons; don't you people understand that I'm supposed to be working/
Earlier
{Riff} Indeed. I remember with fondness the silly word games and references in which my family indulged over the evening meal. When I finally went to a job I found that all of my witty(?) remarks simply floated above. I was, to be honest, devastated. Nevertheless, I have finally found a 'home' in the various M.C. style web sites. Whilst my 'witty' remarks are not alway appreciated and, having met many who are far more clever than myself, I find that I rather like this community.

Sorry for the pathetic overtones, but it's true.

18.181818181% nuts. Mostly marshmallow, with an occasional choc-chip.
I'm not that good at small talk, I find it tiring and often don't know what to talk about, and so just lapse into silence, listen, watch, etc. If it's something I'm interested in, I can talk about/around it, or if I have nothing to say, can listen to someone burble on, and ask a question or two, or add something here or there (often surprising people, in the process, it seems). I'm learning to ask questions. I'm always much more comfortable with one or two other people, or in small groups rather than large ones, and definitely preferably people I know. I don't know about any men/women difference. But I am willing to let conversations pause.

Some people find this disconcerting, or think I'm boring, or (more likely) stupid. *shrugs*. It's lonely sometimes, but places like this are very good, and I think I've learned a great deal. Thanks.

[flerdle] I'm exactly the same, and I quite agree.
obsessive
The "other one" out of the disorders that manifest themselves in compulsive menky collecting types of behaviour is Asperger Syndrome, believed in recent years to be a sort of autism-lite. It basically is intended to be an umbrella label for those with somewhat impaired social skills, a preoccupation with abstract hobbies on which they "perseverate" (e.g. focus on to the exclusion of all else for long periods of time, including when talking to someone else) and who find it difficult to empathise or instinctively understand other people's motivations. For a time I believed I was aspergic until I actually went out and met some people who really were and had the chance to compare. This was a painful exercise which involved listening politely to the full details of the history of South West trains. After years of neglect it has become an extremely fashionable diagnosis recently for children, and, it seems to me, is overapplied.
Smallness
[Smalltalk] I'm exceptionally bad at smalltalk, and also don't respond well to it. I'm not one of these people who generally can talk to, say, a hairdresser, probably because I feel like I have no common reference points. That said, where I fall down is not being very good at the verbal parrying that establishes what the common reference points are. This is made worse by being a hopeless bloke, having no interested in cars, football and, to a certain extent, tits. So even the usual gambits just fail on me miserably. This probably marks me out as being 'boring', and would probably be confirmed if my interlocutors were to discover those subjects I do have an opinion about. New people can be problematic, too. I don't know if flerdle or penelope remember what I was like when I turned up at my first pilg...

[Aspergers] I have a friend who is like this, and his mum suggested he might have Aspergers. However a friendly medic who had met him immediately said "No, he's not got Aspergers"... I think there is a fashion to give everything a fancy label nowadays, and like Projoy, believe this is not a good thing. I would have thought it were obvious that different people approach things differently, and there's degrees of conformance to the "standard" way of doing things (known popularly as "normality").

In fact, drawing these two stands together, I find most "normal" people rather dull. Is this just me being an arrogant arse-wit?

Phantom
[Aside] Am currently "working" at home, and the phone rang whilst composing the above. The caller hung up immediately. I hate that - why can't they just admit to having dialled a wrong number? I don't think it was a potential burglar...
itsybitsy
[rab] I think you reminded me of me :-)
... and I was overcompensating out of sheer terror :-)
Oh...
[flerdle] I didn't mean to scare you! Luckily I think the beer and Tim-Tams sorted everything out.
eek! *hides behind the sofa*
[rab] My last posting was just to explain why (perhaps??) I seemed rather boisterous at times, (I wasn't saying that you were or weren't) which is another way of "coping", but not my usual one, I think because of the complete novelty of it all, especially the Tim-Tams. And I was stone cold sober, so that wasn't any excuse either. You certainly didn't scare me, and am looking forward to hopefully visiting again next summer.

Which, in a way, brings us back to collecting junk: I have a small amount of "stuff", but mostly I have books (I've been very restrained, honest!!). I used to have a tendency to collect empty or hardly-used notebooks (mmmm stationery), but recently disposed of almost all of them. A lot of things will be farmed out to friends/relatives, and some stored, but I'm quite looking forward to starting again in January with little more than a suitcaseful. Should be interesting.

A disordered mind
Wow, what a stream of revelations we have here. Bob is right to say that OCD is something quite different from "obsessiveness", and I get very angry when people talk about being "a bit obsessive-compulsive" and so on, when Goddammit! They haven't the faintest idea what it means. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my whole brain off and put it away in storage for a long, long, time. Someone asked earlier if OCD is related to autistic disorders, and there is evidence that it is. There is a greater overlap of occurrences of OCD and Asperger's than you would statistically expect, and indeed I have had my own brain photographed, rather excitingly, in an experiment to test this. Asperger's is the syndrome suffered by the narrator in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and one of the reasons I was so moved by that book was that, God help me, I identified with practically every aspect of him, except for being unable to read expressions, which is a defining characteristic of Aspergers. Many of the things that character does, such as counting, refusing to touch certain things, etc. are traits associated with OCD. Personally I think OCD, autism, and Asperger's are all somehow related, but people like me are very much on the "high-functioning" end of that spectrum, which means we can pass ourselves off as normal human beings. Well, most of the time.
By the way, it's true that some of these disorders are "over-diagnosed", but they are "under-diagnosed" as well. One in twenty adults in the UK has ADD, but the vast majority are never diagnosed.
PJ
rab] are you saying that you don't believe Projoy is a good thing ?
I can talk to anyone, but I hate listenintg. Ha ha.
Apologies, by the way, in case any of this is inappropriately confessional or too dull for anyone else! I've been thinking about it a lot recently (I do anyway, naturally) because someone at work actually guessed that I have OCD from watching my peculiar rituals, which rather shook me because, although I do peculiar rituals literally all the time, I normally hide them pretty well and people don't realise. Perhaps I'm getting worse.
Labelling
I'm not sure whether things are over or under diagnoised. Does having a label help matters? I know that I've got many traits which are typical of many diseases (my thinking pattern is very common in people with schizophreina, I have depressive phases, I'm mildly dyslexic) and I'm sure if I was analysed fully I'd have all sorts of nasty disorders. But thankfully they don't affect my life much, and I consider myself to be fairly sane. So does diagnosing mild ADD, mild OCD or mild Aspbergers help? There's no definate treatment (although congitive therapy can help, but cognitive therapy can help a lot of people) so why the need to label it?
OCD
What Dunx describes above is almost exactly what happened to me but in reverse I think. The OCD arose because I was depressed and would obsess on tiny things, believing absolutely that those things were the cause of my depression and if only I could sort them out I'd be happy. When, of course, I didn't sort them out I became more depressed, and so on and so on.
I can quite strongly reccomend hypnotherapy for the treatment of OCD. I wouldn't call it a cure but it sure helped me.
As far as diagnosis goes I don't think with these things that it's that clear cut. It's simply what you might call a personality trait, and we all exhibit different personality traits in differring amounts. Some people are talkative, some are fly-by-night, some are obsessive. I think we assign the term 'disorder' when one of these traits goes to an extreme such that it interferes with the normal day-to-day running of our lives. If we had a sound scientific way of actually measuring the extent to which each trait applied to us, the the term 'disorder' would be redundant.
Labelling
[Lib] I think the label does help. One of the things that helped me (and is still helping me) pull up out of the spiral of OCD was the fact that I could give it a name. I know now that I have an obsession, and that makes it less real so that I can actually control and sometimes ignore it. When you're in the depths of OCD you fully do not realise that you are obsessing, you just think that there is nothing else to life.
[st d] I can listen to anyone, but I hate talking.
[Lib] Naming a thing (and to some extent inventing the thing by the process of naming it) can cut both ways. The Asp/Aut/AD(H)D concept is now out there to a degree to which it wasn't, not many years ago. This lets people use it as a convenient club to beat people they can't deal with, but also lets others recognise themselves in it and make contact with each other. I've read alt.support.autism on and off, and there's a lot of very interesting, politically conscious stuff goes by. In fact, a lot of the politics is exactly the same as for being gay, black, deaf, or female. For pretty much any position that has ever been taken on any of these issues, change the specifics and it would be something that someone has said about any of the others.
[BM] Anyone who enjoyed "Curious Incident" might also be interested in Elizabeth Moon's Speed of Dark, an SF novel in which the central character is autistic. The characterisation is quite similar.
Labels
Having a label helped me a lot for similar reasons to FG - I could capture my demon. Looking back at my life and the way that things have gone, I can also recognise ADD behaviours there (indeed, recognising ADD behaviours in my school reports was a key element of the diagnosis). This gives me power to forgive myself: ADD is not an excuse for my poor performances in the past, but I've spent too much of my life thinking of myself as lazy and weak. I feel that I understand better why my education was so skewed towards things I liked, or why I flit from subject to subject, or why I will focus on interesting things to the exclusion of all else, or why I have such an appalling sense of the passage of time. Recognising these things (rather than blaming myself for them) has helped a lot.
Labels
they tried to label me as Bi-polar (it's all coming out isn't it ?) but I just smiled knowingly and carried on reading the numberplates.
'Best Before' labels
I'm normal on the surface. Whatever demons I carry with me are my business, but I'm approaching 40, single, childless and seem to be attracted by, and attractive to, men 15 years my junior. Make your own conclusions, then keep them to yourself! ;o)
.....
***quietly goes and hides behind a chair***
*whistles innocently*
Labels
[Lib] Ah, but they're not just labels. They're objective realities. Saying that someone has ADD, for example, isn't just saying that they have a bunch of particular personality traits - it means that they have a particular genetically transmitted condition which causes those traits. As Fat German says, if you don't have the traits very badly, you probably don't have the condition with which those traits are sometimes associated. But if you know that someone does have that condition then you can treat it, if treatment is appropriate. Describing this kind of diagnosis as "applying labels" is as silly as talking of disgnosing a broken leg or lung cancer or any other illness or condition as "applying labels". Certainly I have found it enormously helpful to be properly diagnosed because it means I can recognise OCD things for what they are and deal with them accordingly. And this is true of many other people I have spoken to, with OCD and with ADD as well.
Labels
[BM] There is a crucial difference, though, between a broken leg and these mental conditions or constitutions. In the case of a broken leg, you can demonstrate the objective existence of a physical pathology, and there are treatments known to be effective in pretty much every individual case. For ADD and the like, no-one has demonstrated either an objective pathology, or an objectively effective treatment based on an understanding of the pathology. All we have is descriptions of symptoms that cluster together (although no individual need show all of them), vague genetic correlations, and supposed treatments of very variable effect. There may indeed be a definite thing wrong with the brains of OCD sufferers, and there may be possible treatments as effective as setting a broken bone and applying a cast, but currently, very little is actually known.
(simulposted by a much more succinct post from Raak, but...)
[BM] Well... yes and no. I'll take ADD as my example, since that is obviously what I know best.

It is clear that ADD behaviours can be severe enough to cause problems, and that there are a lot of people who carry these behaviours around with them, but it is not certain that ADD is an objectively definable disease. For instance, ADD has been described and recognised by the US psychiatric establishment for more than 30 years (although its name has been changed a few even times over that time), but the UK establishment only officially recognised ADD in the 1990s - this despite the first published work on ADD being in the UK a hundred years before. Even in the US, ADD has only recently (ie in the last ten years or so) been widely recognised as occurring in adults - it was considered a childhood affliction which was obliterated by adolescence.

Part of the problem is that labelled conditions such as ADD, OCD, etc are note discrete: a bone is broken or it is not broken, but ADD has more degrees than there are labels, and even then it is not clear that even someone whose collection of symptoms is technically pathological enough to be so labelled is actually displaying anything more than just a strong personality trait. There has been work to scan brains under ADD-expressing conditions, and there are apparently common factors to those scans, but ADD is at best a collection of possibly related symptoms. But then is personality just an expression of brain chemistry?

As I say, my belief is that those who are actually disadvantaged by their ADD behaviours are those who have been trying to use their brains in ways which don't mesh with their brain chemistry or personality, where "one size fits all" education systems teach the same learning mechanisms to everyone regardless of how they really learn best. This is one of the reasons that I talk about my having ADD behaviours; Idon't consider myself to be diseased1.

[1] this is going in a footnote because it's not part of the core point, but one of the things which concerns me about statements that ADD is underdiagnosed is that it is then treated as a disease. At this point the children (and this is where I become most concerned - it is almost always children) are dosed up with psychostimulants in order to make them fit in rather than training them to use their brains to their best advantage: the problem is not solved, it is avoided.

Dunx's last paragraph and footnote
Absol-bloodly-lutely. Extremely well put. It extends beyond education and learning mechanisms too, in my view.
clusters
[Dunx and Raak] Hear hear. Nicely expressed.
iz it becos I iz...?
As Raak says, a leg is generally broken or not broken, and the difference is pretty clear and agreed upon, but you get members of any minority group into a room (ADD sufferers, autists, gays, black people) into a room and ask them to define "ADD", "autism" or, heaven help you, "gayness" or "blackness" and you will soon have a heated debate on your hands.
...just witness the endless controversies in the last few decades over the definition and meaning of "disabled".
I like meds
I agree with Dunx that the problem is really one of society not being able to handle people who are different. It's terrible that children, in particular, who have a different way of learning, get straitjacketed into the traditional methods and classed as having a problem if they don't fit in. It's especially ridiculous given how much society actually prizes ADD traits in many ways - such as creativity and spontaneity - which is how people like Billy Connolly, Robin Williams, and Ozzy Osbourne got to where they are today. Bill Clinton, of course, is the classic ADD kid made good. But at the same time, I do think that there is good evidence that ADD, in particular, is a discrete and specific disorder, with specific physiological causes, rather than a handy name for a bunch of sometimes associated phenomena. Raak is wrong to say that the genetic correlations of ADD are vague: they are not vague at all, and there is very good evidence for a strictly physiological basis, although of course how that basis manifests itself will vary according to conditions. Certainly ADD behaviours do vary from person to person in type and degree, which is one of the things that make it hard to diagnose, but it doesn't follow that the underlying cause varies - at least where ADD is the correct diagnosis. We have a rather skewed view of it in the UK because, as he says, it hasn't been officially recognised here for very long, compared to the US; in fact, some of the newer treatments for it, such as Concerta (essentially slow-release Ritalin) are unheard of to many supposed experts in this country. Plus, of course, the media like to fixate on issues of medication and horror stories about it. By the same token, it would be better if society could change to accommodate those of us who are different, but given that it can't, medication is a whole lot better than nothing. I have known people whose lives have been utterly ruined by ADD as well as by OCD. If they had been diagnosed earlier and given the help they needed - medication as well as proper counselling and behavioural therapy - who knows how things might have been different.
Whoops
Something happened to my paragraph marks. I do apologise - as if my tedious exhalations aren't bad enough as it is...
physiology
[BM] So what are the discrete physiological causes of ADD popularly supposed to be, then?
Re: physiology
[Projoy] Primarily temporal lobe dysfunction, at least according to Dr Daniel Amens who was one of the first to use brain scans to try and figure out what is different in an ADD brain. I've read his book Amens' "Healing ADD" where he describes the different areas of brain activation in the six varieties of ADD which he identifies. All of them share some degree of temporal lobe dysfunction.

The temporal lobe controls your ability to concentrate, and is more active when a brain is concentrating on something. A typical pattern in an ADD brain is that when it is used to concentrate deliberately on something then the temporal lobe is actually deactivated (ie there is less neural activity). I say "deliberately" because a common ADD behaviour is 'hyperfocus' where the brain will concentrate on something novel1 to the exclusion of all else, but this is rarely deliberate.

Note that there is another book called "Healing ADD" by Thom Hartmann, that I would also recommend, but which is entirely different. In particular, Mr Hartmann specifically attacks Amens' work in scanning brains. But there we are.

[1] another very annoying aspect of this is that I cannot go to sleep if there is speech in earshot. I'll be drifting off quite satisfactorily when my brain will latch on to the interesting noises and amplify them in my perception. Similarly, I need silence or at least white noise if I need to think about a task which I am not entirely involved in, because otherwise my mind will concentrate on the novel rather than what I'm supposed to be doing.

Right, but that still leaves Raak's point unchallenged, doesn't it? There's nothing to suggest that there's a single cause for that particular pattern of brain activity.
Quite right.

For instance, even the mechanisms by which ADD brain patterns arise in the individual are not certain. There is a high correlation between ADD in parents and in their offspring (a figure of 70% is often quoted) which might suggest a genetic link, but it could equally be due to upbringing: the brain is plastic enough that learning will change its structure (no specific references, I'm afraid - I read this recently but can't remember where), and if much of a child's early development is achieved through mimicry then it's quite possible to imagine that parental ADD behaviours might imprint on the child.

It may well be that the role of genetics in mental development is overstated. There is some work (this book, for instance) which puts forward the argument that:

  1. there is a common perception that genetic factors are the largest causative agent in mental illness
  2. there is almost no evidence of a correlation between mental illness in children and in their parents (the book linked to states that the strongest correlation is in schizophrenia where there is a 50% correlation; nothing about ADD though)
  3. if hypothesis (1) is wrong, then it must be environmental
  4. the most pervasive environmental influence on children is their parenting
  5. therefore the way you are raised is why your head works the way it does.
So, ADD may be at least as much a social phenomenon as a genetic one, although I also think that any learning which has this effect would have been at such a young age that there is no element of choice to it .
something else
I wonder if I could change the subject. Feel free to ignore me. A co-worker is driving me crazy. Her husband hit her and one of the kids and she got a court order that he stay away. Since then, she is trying to find ways to meet him or to justify meeting him. He is possibly suicidal and she thinks this means she should help him. I point out how these suicidal guys sometimes take the family with them (to death), but she still vacillates. She is obsessed and talks about it constantly: outside on breaks, at my workstation, on the phone, in e-mail. She also obsesses about how she wants sex with him and graphically tells me stuff. Oddly, she listens to my advice, which is quite blunt and includes telling her she is not rational now, but I have a law background, not a psychological one. What do I do to get her to get the help she needs? How do I keep her from putting herself in harm's way? How do I (a gazillion other things)?
Dorothy Dix.
Personally, apart from - as you mention - trying to convince her to get some professional assistance I'd stay well out, Tina. If she truly is irrational, heaven knows what affect any well meant advice may have on her. If you do attempt to convince her to get some help I think I'd leave the broken relationship out of any coaxing and simply concentrate on the fact that she is under stress at this time ... Then again, I'm no psychologist!
not ignoring Tina
[cross-posted with Duj] How very difficult for you. Are you in the UK? Can you point her towards the Samaritans or even Relate? In my experience [I've been a voluntary counsellor for some years] you are doing the right thing, in that you are listening. If you are happy to be just a sounding-board, for that is all you are, try not be too disappointed if she fails to heed your warnings. By confiding in you, I'm afraid it looks as though she is seeking justification and perhaps your approval for her future actions, ie. she is likely to meet up with him. I would say, your main problem is that her irrationality appears to have transmuted into outrageously selfish and controlling behaviour [towards you] and you have to guage how much more you can cope with. When she's next in 'listening' mode, you might gently point out that you have a life aswell. But unless she admits she needs professional help, there is little you can do, short of frog-marching her into a doctor's surgery. [Blimey! Do I sound like an agony aunt or what?]
Dujon and Chalky
Yes, this is what my sister says as well. I'm in the US and our employer has a counseling plan. My sister says, make excues when she comes to my cubicle. Yes, she is always seeking my approval. She will announce some awful plan, come to my desk, and ask what I think. I say I disapprove, and so far that works. But it's not right really. I'm not the professional. And she is selfish now. There is nothing in her life except her crisis. She lost maybe 20 pounds. She writes me at 3 a.m. and is not sleeping. Thanks for all your help. I just don't want to open the paper and find her dead.
Warts 'n All
I cannot put myself in your position and therefore cannot really understand, but it sounds like you are in a most awkward position - particularly if you feel obligated to your co-worker. Chalky is undoubtedly correct when she mentions listening but this, long term, could interfere with your own work. In view of the fact that your employer has a counseling service, why don't you have a talk with their staff? Depending on legal contingencies you may have to keep the name of your fellow worker out of any discussion, but at least you may receive 'proper' advice (and by that please do not think that I am denigrating Chalky's input.)
Dr dog
Tina] If you are concerned for her life then she definitely needs professional help. I think you have demonstrated the characteristics of a good listener - but you are not responsible for her situation. She has to be, so it may help to explain this to her in a kindly and assertive way. She may thank you for it.
advice
Thanks to you all for the good advice.
Echoes
I would echo what Dujon said in his last post - counsellors can be extremely useful even if you aren't the one who is in direct need of their services. It allows one to perspectivise the situation. Obviously the best case scenario is if somehow your colleague manages to sort her situation out; the worst case scenario is if this doesn't happen and you get dragged down with it. I found a counsellor was enormously helpful in staving off the latter when I was in a tricky situation.
Trying to attract INKSPOT's attention
To keep the competitive daughter away from MY Daq account - I suggested she sign up herself. She thinks she can knock spots of the rest of us. What a challenge. Any chance of slipping her into our mini-league? [x_sugarbabe_x - 3509835]
Only me...
Some people have to work you know, others sit around waiting for the server to get back up ... so in between this and that, I've added x_sugarbabe_x.
thanking Inkspot :-)
Celebuggered
Well, I'm going to have to waste about £600,000 in my NI-capping. Feh!
OCD
Coincedentally, the R4 programme "All In The Mind" had a segment on OCD on the 28th October edition.
... or rather, I should say, about hoarding. Slight misadvertising there. It's the first segment after the intro.
I've nothing much to add to the above (having just caught up with the foregoing) except to wish Tina luck with her situation and to thank those who've talked about such personal issues so openly in the ADD/OCD debate.
My own feelings are that I feel myself to be somewhat... eccentric, particularly socially. Some days I seem to fire on all cylinders and participate on all levels with "the group" (meaning colleagues & students) - cracking jokes and fitting into the ongoing banter as we work, but other days it's like I'm out of sync or speaking a different language.
I don't feel this or any other of my eccentricities are anything like extreme enough to warrant labelling as a disorder - and my feeling has been reinforced by some of the above - it's seldom if ever a real interference in my life. As Projoy suggested, when you hear stories from people who have suffered it humbles your own pretentions to such things!
I've often remarked flippantly that no-one worth knowing is "normal" or 100% sane - and I do believe it's the oddnesses about people that make them interesting day-to-day. Not so much that these traits are odd perhaps as that they're different, new and interesting. They characterise people, and make them unique.

I was also struck by Dunx's comments about difficulty falling asleep if there's audible conversation going on - I find falling asleep very difficult generally, and any sort of distraction is a killer: conversation (especially other people in the house talking, but also just tv) light - especially ambient light through the window, strong wind & rain (although they're kind of nice to listen to...) I've found music helps, although it needs to be the right sort of music - usually but not always without lyrics, often ambient. Dead Can Dance, Brian Eno's ambient classic Music For Airports and William Orbit's Strange Cargo III are all favourites to drop off to. They help shut out the rest.
Hmmm - this has turned into an insomnia post really...
[Celebdaq] I'm flabbergasted that Keanu Reeves is still dropping despite the last Matrix films opening... I was doing so well with Arnie before that too... ho hum.
[bl] "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well."
Celebdaq - Keanu Reeves dropping
Could it be because the last Matrix film is getting bad reviews, rather than good?
Sleepless in... well, everywhere
[blamelewis] I sympathise greatly. I have always suffered terribly from this. I have been known, on more than one occasion, to be kept awake by my own heartbeat. This is an example of how diagnosis helps, however: now that I know I have OCD, I recognise much of this as silly obsessiveness within my own head. I don't really need conditions to be perfect before I fall asleep, I just think I do, and it's the obsessing about it that actually keeps me awake. And that alone makes things much easier. However, I still cannot sleep through any kind of human-made noise. Those damn humans!
Scilence
Dunx/Blame/Bread] Sleep is something I adore. I could easily (and and often have) fallen asleep within earshot of conversation - que joke about boring conversations. But to try and fall asleep to music, even Brian Eno, would be impossible for me. I'd be far too wrapped up in thinking about the music to let it lull me. I prefer natural darkness and scilence - as experienced on Shetland - where there is vitually no man-made background light or sound.
zzzzzzzz
[Bob] I've noticed a big difference since moving out of Glasgow - there's no longer a streetlight glaring in my window, and only very occasionally do the sounds of drunken revelry intrude. {Bread] i feel sometimes it's the whirl of thoughts in my head keeping me awake - that and being insufficiently tired - I know part of the problem is my lack of regular exercise also. [JLE - Matrix] Bad press should count as much as good - look at Prince Charles this week!
Radio 40 winks
I fall asleep listening to Radio 4 - I like the noise of voices as I doze off. If there are too many of my thoughts whirling around in my head, (and this is where I start to think I'm odd, after reading everyone else's confessions) I kind of 'take dictation' from the shipping forecast or the news or whatever is broadcast. I hear the words, then see them in my mind's eye on the page, the shape of the letters and the shape and length of the word. It leaves no room for other thoughts and I'm asleep within minutes. I can't listen to music to fall asleep - it has a stuimulant effect, no matter what kind of music it is.
Sleeping to the radio
Adult to small child who has just answered the door: "Is your Mummy in?"
Small child: "She's asleep listening to Woman's Hour."
Bed, where is thy spring?
I don't seem to have this trouble. Diet and preoccupation seem to be pretty much the only factors that affects whether I sleep. Thus I must not eat after 7 if I want to fall asleep by 11. And almost nothing wakes me. Someone was stabbed to death on my street once and I slept through the whole incident. Provided I have followed the eating rule, I can fall asleep to any music or stimulus, even violent atonal C20th music. I fully expect to die in a fire someday.
To sleep, perchance to dream
I am fortunate. I fall asleep when I want to, which means when I am tired. I sleep lightly but it never really bothers me if I wake in the night [or if I am woken] because a cup of tea usually sorts me out. I wake when I need to. How dull.
I'm dreaming of a ... daq
Not really - BUT - come on, Dr.Q+ - you are within sight of the line (or at least in line of site.) You can make it ... deep breath ... push ... push ... only a bit to go ...

I'm afraid that Doris_Newbold and ffiish are about to lose a bit of well earned dosh, Doris though having just made the finishing post.

site ... s/b ... sight ... sheesh!
dream
[Chalky] not at all, sounds blissful! [celebdaq] That's it, I've sold Keanu, his usefulness offscreen clearly not in proportion to his arboresence on screen... it Prince Charles for me! (As the Butler said) (allegedly)
nodding off
I like sleep but sleep doesn't like me. I can't do it properly at all. And following on another comment, I fully expect to die by being stabbed to death as I set fire to Projoy's house.
zzzzzzz
At the beginning of the week, when I have classes, I get about 3-5 hours of sleep a night. At the end of the week, I get 10-12. Plus, any night of the week, I might decide not to sleep at all. In this fashion, I am training my body not to expect any particular amount of sleep at any particular time. I'll never be jet-lagged again!
[noise] I can't handle TV or conversation when trying to sleep at all, but I can handle music if it doesn't have lyrics, and is very repetative. For instance, I've fallen asleep underneath tables in the middle of raves a couple of times. Of course, driving all day to get there and then having to unload all the speakers undoubtedly helped.
Sleep
I used to have terrible trouble sleeping through other people's noise. My lodger used to have music on at night fairly quietly and it used to drive me mad, especially the fact that the bassline was audible more than the rest, to the point where we had a screaming row about it. She couldn't see my point of view and I was incensed that she couldn't see mine. Now that I know I'm obsessive about it I can sleep through it just fine. If it's me making the noise (my music, my radio, etc) I can sleep through practically anything.
Bass disturbance
FG] I couldn't stand any music at night either. I once shared a room in an International hostel with a guy who had an immense collection of pop music from Ghana. I had to move rooms to stay sane. The ex-roommate then started to make claims that I was racist (notes on the message board - complaints to the hostel management) because I didn't like being kept up till 4.00am every night. In an international setting, this was extremely hurtful.

This may seem funny, but it is really very sad. I someone who suffered from Tourette's syndrome recently. For some bizarre reason, he'd chosen to become a street performer - specialising in children’s entertainment. There must be a reason why he chose such an inappropriate career path.
I met someone
[Bob] Sounds interesting. Tell us more!
Lib] Not much more to tell. I was with my (at that time) 6 year old daughter. This chap was dressed in colourful street hippy type clothes and was earnestly and unsuccessfully trying to attract the attention of people with children outside Shakespeare’s Birthplace (I live in Stratford). I'm not usually keen on this kind of thing, but he seemed so honestly appealing so we stood and watched him juggle. He came over to us and talked to my Daughter. He was very sweet and friendly but when he spoke to me it was obvious he has Tourette's because he would twitch (as if sneezing) and shout a swearword. My partner and I are not uptight about letting my daughter hear swearwords, if she asks, we just tell her what they mean and that they are words it is wrong to use in public because they could cause offence. Same with this guy. It gave me an opportunity to talk to my daughter about the syndrome and how awful it must be to be a sufferer. The juggler, however, was not at all popular - especially with other parents - which was a shame because he really was good with my daughter.
Knee-capped
Not too gutted though - made well over 200,000 since dividend payout having not quite reached the 2,000,000 mark and was never going to make it up to the 3,000,000 mark before today. This week will be the real test.
Tourette's
[Bob and anyone else who's interested] There is a form of Tourette's, just as well documented, which manifests it self in strange twitches and 'noises' but NOT swearing. [I suppose it's not surprising that the uncontrolled blaspheming is the symptom that attracts all the attention - and sniggers] I know this because my brother's son had it. He and his wife noticed when my nephew was about 8 years old and within months he was diagnosed by the top specialists in the country. They have spent years keeping abreast of the constantly updated research on the syndrome as well as communicating via support groups, etc with other families who suffer. They were told quite early on that he would 'grow out' of it during puberty. He did. He's now 16 and is a superb county rugby player and is in the England R U Development Squad.
Had a conversation with a friend last night, she mentioned someone she knew who had Tourette's -- his specific symptom was that he'd 'baa' like a sheep all the time...
tourettes
Bob] You are right of course to say it is very sad and an awful syndrome etc etc. BUT, I am sorry, a juggling kid's entertainer with tourettes. That is comedy genius. Or would be if it were a sketch on Trigger Happy TV and not real life. Are you telling me that you haven't since laughed at the thought of the guy handing a balloon shaped like a donkey to some 6 year old and then saying "BOLLOCKS" really loudly? Tragic syndrome. Hysterically funny image.
Mental rental
Tee-hee - a self-drive rental truck has just driven into our office balcony, gashing a huuuuge hole in its roof!!
5 tonne monsters
I drove one of them last time we shifted. Why me and not the man of the house I can't remember. I was completely paranoid, because of the huge excess to pay if there'd been an accident, and because it was huge compared with our little car. But the bouncy driver's seat was fun.
van woman
[flerdle] It'll be because you're sensible and give off an air of confidence and capable-ness. And of course, you could blame Mr flerdle for making you drive if there'd been an accident... ;o)
little do they know...
[penelope] I love how your mind works :-D
He said WHAT?
St d] In fact that is what happened - except there was no balloon and he said "W@NKER" :o)
mini-swears
If walking past my old primary school is representive, kids know words like bol****s and w**ker anyway. In my day 'bum' was rather naughty.
A missing "ta"
They taught me to spell in those days as well.
w@nker
Bob] And you have laughed since in teling this story ? I am tempted to turn into a street clown and fake the tourettes.
googlewhack
not that i am particularly bored today or anything, but I just found a googlewhack, and they wont let me post it - I assume because it is deemed rude. Anyway I willshare it here as it is a genuine whack! FELLATED MOHICANS.
St d] Come to think of it - he said that too...
Whacked Off
[st d] Are you sure that's a googlewhack? If so I'm really rather surprised.
googlewhack
Oooh! It is, I just checked..
moving
[flerdle] You have a longer drive this time. And remember to deflate the tires when you reach the desert.
Losing hair
I was going to compose an extraordinarily witty comment to post somewhere on the site. However, I thought that this was even more funny (courtesy of my I.S.P.):

Service Disruption Start: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 5:53AM EDST
Last Updated: Wednesday, 12 November 2003 at 12:04PM EDST
Scheduled Service Disruption: No
Who is affected: Some customers
Impact: We are currently having problems with ADSL. This is affecting customers in New South Wales. Some customers will experience no dataflow. Technicians are treating this issue as a priority and are working on the problem.

Right, I'm off to find a pub or a bottle or something - it beats crying. Any takers?

Looking at that
Not clear? Probably not.

I have just spent considerable amounts of time attempting to post/read/hack a number of sites. I'm giving up and, hopefully, will see you all tomorrow.

Credit where it's due department
Last night, bored as hell with the quality of discussion in a chatroom, I began posting "Fascinating Facts", all culled from the lies game on this very server. After I posted Ibid's "Hammerhead sharks have to clean their teeth regularly, due to the large quantities of salted peanuts they eat." one of my duller interlocutors asked "where do they get the peanuts", allowing me to take great pleasure in replying "Do I look like a marine biologist?"

Totally irrelevant I know, but just a small example of how the MC community brings happiness into the world in small unexpected ways. :)

Projoy
I remember meeting you once in the Head of Steam many moons ago, on a Tuesday if I recall correctly. From that dim recollection, and also from my having met more than a couple of Marine Biologists in my time, I can only conclude that from a certain angle, and in the right light, you actually DO look like a Marine Biologist. But that is by the by - where DO the sharks get the peanuts from ?
You know, sometimes I wish I actually were a marine biologist. Particularly today, with the office feeling especially horrible.
marine biology
Indeed. How nice to be sitting on a beach somewhere far flung with a torch and a clipboard and a ruler, waiting for a load of turtles to turn up.
[Projoy] Why are people in chatrooms so stupid? The number of times I've tried to talk about something interesting or intelligent, only to get in reply "wot". I appreciate that my kind of interesting conversation may not be everyone's, or indeed anyone's, but what kind of idiot just types "wot"? The same kind that spells "great" with an 8, I suppose. [Shuffles off in carpet slippers muttering about the war.]
chatroom schmatroom
[Bready] Where do you chat? I'll gladly gatecrash and help you to liven things up a bit. Likewise [Projoy] there's some interesting Duologues to be made there, I'm sure. I was a frequenter of MSN chatrooms, where I would resort to lobbing virtual cushions about the room to initiate some reaction. And if nobody responded to a cushion, I'd try throwing virtual knives.
chattin
I have to confess - when I first became internetted a few years ago, my first port of call was an MSN chatroom. I plunged myself nervously into the mêlée, learned all the patter, sussed out the dynamics, etc. Anyway, after a couple of unsatisfactory weeks I decided it wasn't for me and became far more attracted to the community message board attached to the room, where I encountered some like-minded souls. Anyway, to cut a long [but rather interesting] story short, I now have two very close friends whom I see on a regular basis as a result of that experience. So, although I wouldn't be seen dead in a chatroom now [they terrify me], I can't exactly decry those who get something out of the experience.
Besides, if I manage to get any time to myself late evening, I would rather bimble around the Crescent sites. Talking of which, does anyone frequent the MCiOS chat server? If I knew that some friendly faces were in there, I might make an exception.
As far as I can see we never get around to creating enough activity in our own chatroom at MCiOS. We should maybe have a particular time in the week (like Sunday night at 8 or whatever) for VirtualPilgs, then the place would really buzz.
Grasshopper mind
Oh, and to leap back to the neurology discussions, is it meaningful for a person to maintain "I'm pretty ADD today" (as I have just done to a colleague. I certainly am finding it hard to focus on anything for longer than 20 seconds today, which is not always a problem.
And another thing
Why do I invariably leave off the closing parenthesis or comma from a subclause, and why do I often forget to put a question mark at the end of a question? Somebody must know. I can't be the only one.
crescent chat
[Projoy] Damn fine idea, although I'm part of a pub quiz team and we compete on Sunday nights, so I can't make it until about 11pm. Also I'm likely to be a bit squiffy.

Noting your simulpost PJ - it's because you're having an BAD ADD day

ADD
I had the answer to your questions, then I am afraid I got distracted by a tiny jam tart.
Mmm. Jam tart.
The MCiOS Chat Room
[Chalky] I'm usually in there while I'm at work (usually 12:30-21:30 GMT), but often not at my desk when anyone happens to show up. :(
trying to work at home
Distractions? DISTRACTIONS?? You should worry - a mere glimpse at the words jam tart sent me into the kitchen to throw together a chocolate sponge. Smells lovely, mind.
tarts
I just had another one. Terribly nice. Tiny little ones as well. From Safeways I believe. Mmmmm.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! You know I can actually FEEL myself stagnating today. This is not good.
chat
The thing is, strange people live in the MCiOS chatroom.. scary people..

Yay! I just won a prize!

winning ways
Well done, snorgle. Your statement begs the questions - what and what for?
stagnation
[st d] Glad I'm not the only one. Know what I did (nobody tell my boss, please). I stood up, announced I was going for a late lunch, then walked out of the building took a tube to Covent Garden and marched into the Back Rub Centre for 20 minutes of massage by a very attractive man. I came back and slipped into my desk with a cat and cream sort of expression. It may not have helped my productivity, but it sure as hell made me feel better.
chat denied
I can't MCiOSchat at work :o( but I can eat jam tarts, although right now we don't have any. We had mince pies in the office yesterday though :o). A weekly cyberpilg would be good - I sometimes see DrQ in there, and occasionally flerdle, usually 9pm-ish GMT. How about a Monday night?
And simulposted by Projoy - why can't I work closer to Covent Garden and the attractive backrub man? Tesco's mince pies down't sound a patch on a cat-and-cream expression after a session like that. (Mind you, there are runours of a company with its own rowing eight moving into the office suite next door to us):oD
Monday nights are probably quite sensible, since one's least likely to have a social engagement/evening class/rehearsal/major shopping expedition/press conference to launch Conservative leadership bid that night.
thumbs up for Monday
Bugger - that's the evening I usually have sex. Ah well, I suppose abstaining one day a week won't do any harm. :-)
curious companies
[pen] a Company with its own rowing eight?? I wonder if the contentious eightsome have to work in a separate soundproofed room so their 'loggerheading' doesn't disturb the placid ones?
smashing!
[Chalky] The new company has 'Porcelain' in its title (I've seen some early post in the lobby) so perhaps they're made to keep their oars elsewhere for fear of smashing the samples. I wonder where they keep their rowlocks?
Night-time
Monday nights sound good to me.
Cyber pilg
Do Monday nights suit non-UK MCers? It'd be particularly good if Dunx, Dr Q, Flerdle and Dujon et al can join in as they can't get to UK pilgs.

This Monday is out for me - I'm doin' my thing at a conference in Edinburgh. Three days of torment made good because of the location.

But I'll join in a week on Monday. I'll merrily settle down in front of the PC with a big drink and a cuddly toy (I've never been on a pilg but I believe this is the done thing).
llareggub
I'm looking forward to the new Under Milk Wood on R4 this Sat - thank God they've kept Burton.
Le Pilg à Cyber
I haven't tried the chat room recently from work; should be OK, since our firewall is reasonably permissive. And Monday night is probably a better bet in any case - the last time any kind of regular online MCing was attempted was with an IRC channel many moons ago, and I don't think there were ever more than about four people.
chat?
[snorgle] I didn't think I was that scary...

I have had several attempts at seeing if people could coordinate to turn up in the chatroom at some particular time, but it's never worked. However, pilgs have been great, and things seem to really take off when there's more than three people there (or more than one, which is more often the case). Now that there seems to be some sort of interest, of *course* I'll be around. When people are at wirk it just doesn't work, I think, so UK evenings are fine for me, especially now that the sun comes up earlier. Day of the week doesn't matter too much, although if I work that day I may have to leave by 11pm UK time (Sundays and Tuesdays, probably). Some days I can be around longer because I'll be working from home, so there may be a possibility of more US-Aus meeting more towards the US evening time, (even west coast). My possible times, of course, are only for the next two months, then I'll have to see how the net connection and a new time zone work. Monday night is fine. What other possibilities are there? Maybe broadcast the idea to the other two sites.

*lights candle, sings softly to self*

pilgs win prizes
[flerdle]I might manage a Monday, but can't guarantee I'd be there long..(it was JLE who was scary..:) I can't get into that chatroom at work, but home is fine. I think my computer is on its last legs(or something), but I've asked for one for Christmas, so you never know.. :) I won a trip up to London to see Love Actually - travelling up Friday, staying overnight and seeing the film the next morning..Yay!
Jealousy
Oh, I say, snorgle, well done!
What is it with ladies? My wife has been fortunate enough to win two (2!) trips over the last few years - well, ten or fifteen years - one to Fiji and one to Mauritius ... grrrr!
waaant prizes!
[Dujon] Not this one. hmph.

Well, if the activity in the chatroom last night was any indication, we could be in for a fun time when Mondays roll around :-)

*blows out candle, wanders off*

Whoops
Just remembered that on Monday night I too shall be in Edinburgh. [Bob] I'm in Embra on Mon/Tues nights. I expect you'll be tied up with your conferencing, but if you fancy a pint let me know and we could work something out.
prize!
Got the details in the post this morning (first class does still work sometimes..) and we'll be staying at the Hyde Park Towers Hotel, so I hope it's nice. Luckily I managed to get tomorrow off work without any trouble..
Mcpilg
rab] That'd be fab - Monday drawback is I'm a meeting between 6 and 8 ish. I arrive (if Virgin do their stuff) at 15.41 so I've got some time either early or late evening. Tues busy until 9ish. If you are still able to go for a drink - email me!
*zoing*
hippy
[rab]Are you being Shaggy?
Shaggy
[snorgle] Isn't that rather a personal question?! But so as I don't become the subject of unfounded allegations I should point out that that's the sound of an email winging it's way to Bob the dog.
Rooby rooby roo!
ADD
Just to return to the subject again, oh wait jam tarts.....
ahem I had an ADD moment last night. I was watching a film which, whilst enjoyable, was not exactly the most demanding in terms of plot or dialogue After 45 minutes or so I found myself fidgeting and eventually I was balancing cigarettes on my hat, just to keep a bit more of my mind occupied. I wondered if this has something to do with it, maybe my brain requires more than an 'average' amount of stimulation and that maybe this could be related both to ADD and OCD? If I'm suitably engrossed in something, most of my OCD evaoprates only to return when I get bored again. Discuss?
bored
Sounds like you were just bored FG. I mean, its understandable really. What I am interested in though (and this may sound flippant but is a serious enquiry) is the hat/cigarette thing. Were you balancing the cigarettes whilst in the packet ? Or were you balancing single cigarettes on their end (far trickier) Were you wearing the hat ? What kind of hat was it ? Were the cigarettes lit ?
Mad? Me? Who says I'm mad? Mad am I? That's what those fools said in medical school. Could a madman do this? Hahahahahaaaa!!!!
[FG] Not wanting to bore on this topic any more than necessary, but yes, the more engrossed I am in something the less OCD I am, and the less, the more, if you see what I mean. But I think this applies to everyone to some degree. Aristotle says that the only people who eat sweets at the theatre are those who are bored by the play, the point being that there's no such thing as generic "pleasure", but rather each activity has its own pleasure, and the more engaged you are in an activity, the more you enjoy it. In other words, you can't completely enjoy two things at once, because they will compete for your attention; and conversely, if you aren't enjoying something, your mind will try to find something else to enjoy. Discuss.
I'm bored, too
Heavy, saucer-shaped object they throw in athletics competitions. Discus. sorrysorrysorry
Fidgeting
I can't sit still, especially in things that I'm required to sit still for. My mum refuses to sit by me at the theatre as i'm constantly shuffling in my seat and my boyfriend clobbers me when i fidget whilst sat next to him at the cinema. Its not cos I'm bored (as I'm often accused of) I just get un-comfy so feel the need to move.
numb-bum
[Lib] I find lot of theatre and cinema seats are rather uncomfortable at about the one hour stage. Shuffling is somewhat necessary.
stretchy legs
[Lib]I try to sit in the front row or on an aisle seat - more leg room that way.
Chat
Apparently, the MCiOS chat room does work for me at work. This is good. I should be along on Monday, meetings permitting.
The Kiki Thing
[FG] I know what you mean. I find some meetings to be similarly frustrating.
Hats
[st d] It's a wooly hat. It was on the floor. It was knitted by my mum with big thick wool and consequently (a) stands up on its own, and (b) has holes in it especially a nice one in the top. I managed to get a cigarette wedged in the hole, pointing vertically, and then attempted to balance another one on top of that, and so on. Quite a challenge actually, I never made it further than one on top of another.
Fag balancing
I remember a book by Julian Barnes in which someone lies on her back and smokes a cigarette all the way down without tapping it out, so that a thin grey column of ash is balanced perilously on top of her lips. She then reveals that she had stuck a hairpin down the length of the cigarette before lighting it to hold it together. If I knew how to smoke, I'd use that trick to impress girls.
If I knew...
[BM] Surely there must be some evening class you can go to.
For some reason I thought BM was going to give us the low-down on the ping-pong ball scene from Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. Its a great trick for impressing the boys...
ping pong
Oh how I laughed... What's the trick? It's dead easy!
What the?
After running in the high teens and low twenties, the weather has turned = 36°C as I type. Urrgh. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with that - it's tonight I'm worried about.
Someone broke the weather
That's interesting, here on the east end of the US we've had the opposite problem - High of 60ºF and low of 30 one day, high of 30 and snow the very next day.
Ping Pong
[BtD] Oh, if only I knew the low-down on that...
[Dujon] Where do you live?
talking of the weather...
It's a cracking day here in the mid-south of dear old Blighty... an azure blue sky, fluffy while cloudy things and lots of smiley faces .. especially on rugby fans.. Kinda makes me glad to be alive.
Outlook uncertain...
Lovely day here in mid UK too. I wonder what Edinburgh will be like?
Embraclime
According to my guest from that fine city, it's been warmer and drier than Manchester. Though that doesn't surprise me.
A porridge of high pressure
rab] Good. I shall bring mt Bermuda kilt!
for mt read my.
A boys weekend
Not only was the weather good here but the wife (and mother of three) left on Friday for a weekend of shopping with some of her friends, returning after tea today. Just a quick tidy up half hour before she arrived...a free weekend of no 'lists of thing-to-do', no 'we can't sit around here all day', just coke,crisps, playstation and the occasional nappy...easy.

Meanwhile over at Celebrity MC mini league Chalky takes over from DrQ at No 1, and staight in at No3 is the mysterious x_sugarbabe_x

slacking off and daq-ing off
[Inkspot] Lovely! I managed to grab about three hours of my own company this afternoon. I built a log fire and sprawled in front of the TV. Grand.
Re: Celebdaq ... yes, that daughter of mine is going to be SO smug when she sees how well she's performing. Strangely enough - I put all my pounds on the same person as she did after divi-time last Friday .. and today she has somehow managed to get ahead of me. Beginner's luck I say.
dak dik dak dik _ dak dak dik dak

Grumbles something about 'children these days!' and heads for the shed.
to do lists
Inkspot] Sounds like you should make her a list with: 1.leave me alone Please ! and 2. Stop making me lists and: 3. realise that not only CAN he sit around all day and do nothing, but he finds it remarkably therapeutic.
cross-posting
[To all Radio4 listeners] 1830 GMT tonight is the first of the new series of ISIHaC from Winchester. I'm hoping to hear myself laughing.
wish lists
Chalky]Three hours in a single afternoon? to yourself? Now that's sounds wonderful, I'll exchange you that for my Tom the toddler ("Read books daddy", "Do puzzle daddy", "Train track...", "Play cars...")The other two being 9 and 12 can be left to their own devices.

On second thoughts ignore that, I wouldn't change him for anything...
st d] It's not the just lists but the silent looks, perhaps Chalky could give some insight ;)

A plea
Why are there only two of us playing Mornington Crescent? :(
annoyed glares
[Inkspot] Doubt if I can share any insights, not knowing if the lists/silent looks are aimed at your role as a husband [B&Q, DIY, manly household chores] or father [guidance & gainful occupation of young things]. To be honest, I'm a fan of the school of 'sitting round all day at home with the TV/video/DVD/Playstation/CDplayer/piano/PC/Internet' especially when there's little ink smudges to look after.
Children actually enjoy sharing stay-at-home-stuff with relaxed adults.
I think there's far too much - [oh dear - high horse alert] - "Oh yah, to develop their full potential, little Venetia and young Felix are always occupied with ballet, moderndance, jazz/tap dancing, drama, horseriding, t'ai chi, judo, karate, kick boxing, cordon bleu vegetarian cookery, screen printing, blah-de-blah classes and isn't my 4-wheel drive so handy for running them around in?" Bollocks to all that. As long as they walk regularly, go swimming as often as possible, and actually spend some time with their parents, they usually turn out OK.
[Ahem - that is, provided their parent/parents are normal :-)]
adults
Hurrah! A non-neurotic parenting-type! Any room on that horse for the rest of us?
zk
Maybe they've got us on ignore...
ignorami
[AP] No chance Pet! I'm assuming that most of the 'onliners' last evening were in the chat server in MCiOS. I even leapt off my high horse to join 'em.
late chat
[Chalky] Ah, the pantomime. I was still chuckling about it even as I wwent to bed. There were a few more characters that I forgot to own up to... although this may have been before you came in. I was also the rocket and the Qualified Master Sofa Assembly Technician (who was ejected into high orbit when CdM pressed the eject button on the old sofa).
guffawing
[pen] Wonderful stuff - if I'd had more wits about me [or less vino IN me] I would have worked out how you managed that without my noticing. *plots fiendish strategy for next time*
Ah-ha!!
[pen] So it was you!! I think flerdle must have been the Door-to-Door salesperson - no idea who the monkeys were though. And I wasn't impersonating anyone. It was all I could do to keep myself upright on the chair most of the time. I wish I could have stayed :-/
*innocent*
I wasn't anybody other than myself. And I stayed to the very end. Seven hours in all. *was insane*
Oh, and I did get work done today. Honest, guv.
chatty
I was planning to do stuff last night, but so much for that.. :)
owning up
I was the Door-to-Door Salesman and one of the Shakespear-quoting monkeys - although I'm not sure who the other one was. I was sniggering so hard throughout I had aching ribs and cheeks by the end of the evening. As a form of laughter therapy, I reckon that would cure anything :o)
two windows
[Chalky] You just have two chat rooms windows open side-by-side. At one stage I had three - there was me as penelope, the (Retired) Firework Salesman, and the rocket, which fortunately didn't stay in the room very long as I was having trouble keeping track of what was what by that stage.
Regrets
It was a riot. I really wish I could have stayed, but playing from work and trying to work is too difficult for my brain to cope with.
roles
I was just me. Oh, and the IKEA delivery person, of course. And my apologies to everyone for being so non-communicative -- I kept getting tied up in these long work phone calls that required my brain.
I missed this. Will another be arranged?
[BM] It seemed like Monday night was a good night to meet, so it may happen, to a larger or smaller extent, any Monday from here on in. Or any other time. I think some people might be there this Saturday afternoon too. Check here for other announcements of a gathering-type nature.
chatroom
How does one find the chatroom?
Over yonder
Tina] On the MC5 front page there is a link to Orange and MCiOS, under the clock, click on "the Real time chat server Beta", enter your name. Whatever you do, don't press the red button!
chatroom
Thanks Inkspot.
What a load of fucking crap this site is, compared to Pants. No wonder I've left
Refusing to accept that that was the 'real' Rosie.

My apologies - that should have read:
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. I shall endeavour to join those who may partake of the delights of the 'chat room' next Monday - I shall most likely be a wee bit late (assuming I make it at all) as 8pm on Monday to most of you is 7am to me on Tuesday.
monkey-business
[penelope] The other monkey was Phil.
simian episodes
[flerdle] Phil, was it? Cheeky monkey. He was poking fun at me all night. Just tell him I know where his pub is...
EEEEEEEEK!
My Celebdaq went all pink and has Simon Cowell on it! GAAAAAAAH!
Backchat
Sorry I was unavailable on Monday. I was engaged in an alternative form of chat with Bob the dog. It was a bizarre experience - there was no delay between send and receipt of message, furthermore the conversation didn't get out of synch with itself and we were able to teleport alcoholic beverages to one another in real time. I don't think my brain can cope with the sensory overload, and I'll have to revert to the old-fashioned style next week.
Brooms
Oh... and I feel it might be time to get the brooms out and cobweb away some of the games that are starting to putrify. Someone want to set the ball rolling?
Sweeping
I placed a fairly strong hint in the Carpe Diem game, though no-one seems to want to be The One Who Finished A Game.
Clang!
Just dropped another hint in the Centurion game.
Marvellous
Those were the two that were at the top of my list for treatment. So folks - remember the rules: revivals of old classics require a case for support.
alternative form of chat
Rab] Most enjoyable. Would be very happy to attempt further teleportations at some point in the future. Conference over, I am now sitting in an internet cafe in Waverly station awaiting my 8 hour train journey home.
New Game] never contributed but always enjoyed the longwinded game on !York...
Huit heures
[Bob] Do you have a bit of a long onward journey at your destination (as train conductors like to put it)? I wouldn't have thought it would take that long to get to where you're going...
Please, please, please, please, please?
There is a spare game slot. Would anyone mind if I started up a Lost Consonants Cat Room, so as to get out of the darkened cupboard that is the old game on MCiOS?
[Im] Well I dot min at all.
*hands Kim a torch and firmly shuts the cupboard door* I'm kidding!! I jet!
.. and now for the game of Mornington Crescent
Although there are plenty of MC variants scattered around the other two sites, might it not be appropriate to use one of the two available slots in here for a new one? We only have the Long Game. Perhaps an Imposters version of some sort ... like Literary giants? Or an old classic that I'm not aware of.
Guests
I think there's two slots, so we could accomodate both Kim and Chalky.
acknowledging
Hmmm rab .. I think I'll wait to see if there's any support for my idea, or even an alternative suggestion/theme, eg. a couple of weeks ago, Huxley mentioned [in MCiOS?] the Worldwide Underground Station map which drew some favourable murmers. Mind you, I haven't seen him around much lately.
[Chalky] Indeed - there was that; also I recall (possibly) Boolbar suggesting a story game in which each player pastiches an author of his or her choice. This could be interesting...
Oddly....
...it appears that someone has decided for the masses. Oh, and the worldwide map was from me. The author game was each player "plays" an author continuing the ongoing story in their own style and trying to introduce their own characters and elements whilst removing the other authors stuff. A sort of Authors Tag Wrestling.
Yeah - what's that all about? Sound charades is up and running at Orange so there's no need for it here.
Also both new games violate the principle expounded 11 moves up. Does anyone ever actually read these things?
deciding for the masses
I just created 2 new games, cos I felt like it, which was actually purely coincidental. I wasn't trying to undermine any of the ideas on here, I promise!!! I didn't know about the sound charades at orange cos this is the only site I use *slinks away in to the corner feeling very very ashamed*
Resolution
Comments from the floor please...
Oh dear. I've just spent ages combining my and Boobar's idea into an amusing posting for here, in a blatant attempt to 'sell' the idea - now it's all gone to waste. Humph. ?

Sorry ZK ... nothing personal :-)

reading back a bit ....
I'm afraid I had a crack at you [ZK] in the Balls Game - sorry if it seemed a bit snappy. As you're probably feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing- would you like rab to 'retract' the new games, then we can go back to where we were in the discussion process?
[rab] Is that possible?
Um...
[Chalky] It might involve closing the site for a few minutes, cos although in principle I know how to do it, in practice there could be traps for the unwary... (mostly because I've not had to do it before).
Surely you can just play MC to end the games....
end the games
well - shall we just 'end' the new games before they've begun, by using the magic words .. or does that mess up the Modern Classics archive bit?
simul-posted
[Boobar] Sorry - I simul-ed. And apologies for not crediting you with the World Map of Underground Stations a little while ago :-)
AGAIN!
Jeeeeeez - I've apologised 4 times in the last half-hour.
Sorry.
[Chalky] I'm sorry to hear about your apologising problem. I hope it isn't catching!
Endings
[rab] Trust me - you do not want to be in a position where you have to learn how to retract games rapidly.
Sorry to interrupt, by the way.
Other Endings
I'm seriously wondering whether we should end the Lies game, not because it is moribund but almost precisely because it isn't: have it go out on a high, so to speak.

thinks: I wonder if there is legs in games which never end, but which automatically drop off the front page if unused. Kind of half games which don't count against the game limit but which would be, as it were, already won when they're started. Hmm...

Phantom games
As long as people don't mind there being weird zero-move games in the archive, then not formally erasing them from the database gets my vote. I think I know how to remove things as though they never existed, but that's all a bit sinister and not very nice.
So...
A new game slot! What shall we do with it?
The Authorised Version
[Boolbar] Going back to the Authors .. *thinks* .. combine my Imposters MC idea with Boobar's pastiche using both writers/poets AND characters from literature - such as:
'William Shakespeare:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
Thus Shoreditch tavern proffers alms to me.
Bridget Jones:
Gah to your poxy tavern Willy-boy! The off-license in Shepherds Bush has a token collection scheme for cut-price chardonnay.'

OK - so perhaps my example is a bit crap, but you get the gist?

I have to say, I'm favouring the MC Game idea more than the continuous story - only because the recent StoryGame in MCiOS took off like a rocket and fizzled into the ether rather too quickly.

Or - gasp - you could have a story game with no MC connections at all...
backing off
rab - wasn't that the style of the MCiOS one I mentioned above? Whatever - I've made enough noise for one day - I'm still relatively new to this site and wouldn't presume to start a new game in any case. There must be all sorts of great and original ideas from the afficionados out there :-)
sotto voce
Quickfire Patience Mornington Crescent while we're waiting, anyone?
pen...
someone called ? :oD woof woof !
New games
Oh, please, not a longwinded game! I still haven't recovered from the last one. Over a year on, and I haven't yet even had the strength to open the folder it's all compiled in, and see if I want to actually try and make it into a proper novel.
I have always fancied the idea of a Who do you do? kind of game - moves in the style of famous (or obscure, in my case) authors - I tried to get the recent MCiOS story game moving in that direction, but there were few takers. I'd quite like to play a standard game of MC at some point - there seem to be only the Long Games going on atm.
But maybe there's an entirely new game out there somewhere, and all it needs is a little inspiration...

But not from me, obviously.

Pisces
I should perhaps iterate that our resident custodian of exotic fauna (trans. Zooological Keeper) is of course still welcome to ply his or her trade in these grounds. Today's little flurry of activity should not be taken as a signal of any animosity or resentment. I am merely keen to see a selection of games that will keep a reasonable number of people moderately happy for an undeterminable length of time. My personal stance (for that be the box into which I type) is that variety and originality are two virtues that have been shown to achieve that aim. I would say we don't always need a committee decision before starting a new game if the idea is particularly unusual/cute/timely/whatever; on the other hand, since slots tend to be at a premium (and I see no need to raise the limit1), it's probably a good idea - particularly with the those that come round often - to see if at least a couple of others are up for it. </Jerry's_Final_Thought> *group hug*

[1] Unless offered huge wads of cash, or favours to a similar value.

Gosh, people have figured out how to use the words "Mornington Crescent"...
Activity! Well done folks, a bit of pruning never hurt anybody. Or maybe it did, but as long as their in the minority, they'll have to lump it.
Re: the remaining slot, some sort of impostors, or in fact any of several of the suggestions above'd do. If anyone can think of anything new and exciting, go for that.
Re: what pen said, is it worth filling the time with a quick MC bash? An eleven-move puzzle one'd be what I'd post if it's still free soon.
more stories
I would be in favour of one of the story game, but with the rider that each is a short between 10-15 moves, roundabout 100 words a posting (not written in stone). Looking at the recent games of this type there is an initial flurry followed by a slow death. By reinventing a topic every several moves could allow various impostered authors amemding the style to suit. As I'm not widely read I may need to come as a character Dennis the Menace!

In other news Celebdaq is back up and I've finally made to the Players Chart front page...at No 30. Still along way to go to beat penelope who managed No6.

Errr....
[rab and all] I know I'm only fairly new around here and I don't want to tread on any toes. I think that Rab is absolutely right in that a proposal for any new game should be able to demonstrate some support. I think, from my last posting, that I have support from Penelope and Boolbar and an accommodation from Rab, so, unless there are howls of disapproval in the meantime (or some other basard nabs the slot, I will start it up tomorrow morning (GMT).
Celebdaq
Does anyone else absolutely hate the new Celebdaq look? It's bloody annoying..
the end of the list..
You know the game right down at the bottom - the one called 'oooh, I wanna try this'? Well, I've broken it. I didn't start it, btw, and I have no idea who Jack O'Neill is, but I was demonstrating and, rab, I'm sorry, it came away in my hand.
Daq
[snorgle] I don't mind it all - to be honest I found the old one somewhat dark for my liking.
Celebcaq!
[Dujon]I liked that retro look. I don't like my new icons, either. *pouts*
Game ideas
I like story games. But they tend to work best when:
a) all moves are around 1 line each (I'd point to the long-lived Film & Crescent series on !York if !York were up)
b) the moves are anonymous (e.g. this one, maybe because of multiple movers)

But I'd also like a round of "Misheard Lyrics". A bit like Spellcheck Songs (remember that from !York?), except we rewrite chosen songs using soundalike words (not lookalike words). The last game was popular, as long as we kept the songs short

Query
Hmm, some nice stuff in that referenced game, MF. The song bastardisation - how did that work? That is, one line per post or the whole kit and caboodle? This sort of thing, or am I missing the point?

"My Way" (Frank Sinatra)

Kow-tow, they send the beer;
Ah so I'll brace for the coming burton.
Please lend, me some buckshee
To save my face, or it's the slate on....

Yes, I know it's not good - just off the top of the head stuff: but is that the idea?

Eggs sealant!
Eck! Sacked Lee, thee I'd hear!
I said in the original, "write as much as you feel like"; Blob usually went and wrote the whole kit and caboodle. Gimme a sec...
That should do it...
Try here
Hmm, 4 minutes isn't bad!
Interesting

Thank you for your trouble

Sorry for the delay - I've been fighting the Geocities' pop-ups. ... :-)

Do you think it will work? There seemed to be few contributors on that one - although, even though I'm terrible with lyrics, it sounds intriguing.

After the storm
[Chalky] Reading up a lot (my word, you people typed a lot today) I've tried to find this game you had a crack at me in, but can't, so no offence taken! :)
[Duj]
thank you, yes, yes and yes. Like I said, if people kept their contributions (and the songs) short, it'd go better. And, hey, the new-found PantsMC talent'll make short work of the whole thing!
'avin' a fink
Well, I'm not going to wax lyrical about the thought so, being somewhat backward about coming forward in these matters, I shall await further comments. Given that it's early morn in the U.K. at the moment I'm assuming that any critiques will not be posted until such time as a few hours have passed us by.
Early morning
Must...go...to...sleep....
Nods
New game
So, will someone fill the slot with a game that more than one person actually wants to play before some oh so hilarious wankwit comes along and starts one with a ridiculous winning move?
Nods
The job puns seem to have gone down well on the lies game. I think this warrents a game of its own so we can all get on with bullshitting as ...so help me God intended. Unless there is an outcry in the next 15 minutes - this I will do.
Rab] 7 and a half hours to get to Stratford from Embra. Home at last - and knackered.
Dons
[Bob] Oof... don't I feel terribly northern with a mere 4 hour trek? I trust your shennanigan met an appropriate level of success.
Jobsworth
[BtD] Surely we've overdone the job puns? - we need a different thingy to get our teeth into.
shennanigans
rab] my input was particularly successful, although the conference created a huge amount of controversy...
Bool] Yes I agree, but I still think it could carry on in a themed way - e.g. relatives, the wild west, puddings etc.
recall of parliament
Has there been agreement between Lost Consonants Cat Room and a story type game

make that one more for the Lost Consnants

*raises had for lot consonants*
thirded
I agree on lost cosnants - but I still think it is time the lie game got back to some good ol' bollocks - hmmm...
Quoracy?
Would anyone lie to do the honours? I'm not very good at witty tiles.
Another hit game has begun...
In the pink
[Celebdaq] I like it, a lot more clear and easy to use. The colours could be a little less pink though. What surprised me is that I'm 4th after a pathetic % increase.
Kak 'daq
Sorry - I think the new look's utter pants (no connection with defunct MC site intended). And it's bloody slow, as well...
CelebDrag
I'll agree on the slow bit.
Cyber pilg
How did it go? Will there be more?
chattermongers
[Bob] Mayhem and insanity - and yes :-)
If you can be bothered there's some postings in here a couple of pages back.
please ignore my dreadful grammar
*resists urge to make a horrific pun*
Boo!
I wanted to call it: "Lost Consonants: this time its persona!"
woooooooooooooooo
It's pretty quiet in here - mind you, my home computer has fallen over and can't get up, so I can only access from work for now..*sniff*
Wakey-wakey
[snorgle] I'd wondered where you'd been...

[all] Good weekend?

Weekend Loveliness
It was until I was awoken at 2:30 am this morning by a mouse which sounded like it was tearing floorboards apart with its teeth.
Rugby club bonanza
Boolbar] Are you sure it wasn't a giant, white, unbearably cute mouse?
I had a good weekend apart from the R A I N. I was also vaguely aware of England’s rugby victory (I found out on Sunday morning) - which was pleasant. What was unpleasant, however, was Christmas shopping on Sunday and having to tip-toe through a minefield of pavement-pizzas - a memento of local folks celebrations.
Weekend
Mac Expo on Friday afternoon, where I picked up a copy of Panther (MacOS 10.3), followed by spending the weekend in a hotel on a personal development course. Someone announced the rugby result at some point, and half the people went "YES!" and the other half "hm?". 20-17 in the last twenty seconds of extra time, apparently.
hm?
Raak] Do you feel personally developed as a result of your course?
Ooops - re reading that it sounds dreadfully rude - I didn't mean to be. What I mean was ...erm ..well, what is a personal development course?
personally developmented
[Raak] I would love to hear more. When I worked on a national newspaper many moons ago - they sent a group of us on one of those weekends. If I remember correctly, it was a hoot. I'm wondering if 2003 methods are less ... ahem ... aggressively american.
ISIHaC - round 2
Tonight at 1830 GMT. It was much funnier than the first episode broadcast last week.
Are we meeting tonight?
ce soir
[Rab] Usual tme, usual place. I'll be the one wearing a pink mink.
yesyesyes
... and I'll be cunningly disguised as a bricklayer's mate.
The enlightened being is [IN]
[Btd] Well, I found it worth while, though it would really be up to whoever knows me to judge the effect, if any. [Chalky] Do you remember what group it was? There are a lot of these things (perhaps less so now than ten or twenty years ago), and yards of self-help books in all the bookshops. I expect that Sturgeon's Law applies. I'll write more when I have time this evening.
Pilgy Pilgy
Probably won't be along this evening since I've a lot on at work today, what with the three day week and all.
Uselessness
Apologies for uselessness but what's the "usual" time? 8ish?
Excuses . . . .
Alas, I'll be working out in the gym. Then I'm chasing mice and putting doors up.
chasing through rooms
[Boolbar] If you put the doors up first, you can then shut them and therefore won't have so far to chase the mice. Also (if the mice co-operate) can the chase not be part of your workout? Could you persuade them to run at half-pace for the first ten minutes, then full-pelt for 15 minutes, then a cool down pace for the final ten? It would seem to be the organised thing to do.
Lost Consonants
[Kim] Surely that should be "his tie is personal"
M/R/S INKSPOT - HELP
A rather red faced Dujon appears before his accusers; "It wasn't me, Guv" He says. "The blasted Windows machine suddenly started opening windows everywhere and in my desperation to stop such infidelity I clicked all over the bloomin' place." He added, "Then I found I was no longer a member of the celebrated..." *sobs* "Mornington Crescent League on the Internet."
"Can you please put me back in there?"
"Sorry!"
Member No.: 3256726, Reg. Name: DUJON2774
Back in
Look what you have done! zipped in at No2.
The last time I looked I was the father of wonderful three boys ;)
Patch the dog
Last nights ball-gown cyberpilg was very amusing. By an incredible coincidence, this was in my mailbox this morning...

Its New, Its Safe!
Its The Most Advanced Penile Enlargement Solution! !
It's 100% Guaranteed To Enlarge Your Penis. 3+ INCHES!
MAGNA-RX PATCH! Etc etc

So now I know…

PS. I was under the impression that someone was transcribing events – or at least cutting and pasting. Is this correct, and if so, can I have a copy?
Transcript
I've got a bit of it, but I think DrQ's got the whole lot waiting for him on his machine at work. I guess it'll put in an appearance sometime this afternoon.
Weapons of Mice Destruction
[pen] Now why didn't I think of that . . . I used chemical warfare on the mice. Peppermint oil down the gaps in the floorboards that they want to get through. Didn't get as far as hanging the door.
As I was leaving the gym a young slim female was looking my way so I tossed my towel nonchalantly over my shoulder, only for the towel to land slap over my head. I guess it's a good job I'm already married.
throwing in the towel
[Boolbar] But you would have made her laugh - and that, probably above all, is what women like. Speaking personally, making me laugh would go a long way to making a man attractive to me. Our mate Phil the Landlord (who was working on a business proposal at the time) kindly help me draft a marriage proposal in the chatroom last night, but unfortunately it expired before I could use it. :o(
Laughter
Women like MONEY and IDIOTS.
an unvarnished truth
[st d] Yes, because both make them LAUGH. QED.
Dr Q has posted the link to the transcript of last night's cyberpilg in Orange 'Pilg game' - it's taken me a whole HOUR to speed-read it.
Yes. By the way, is Buttercup a regular visitor to the Crescent? I've been looking around for him/her.
Buttercup
Someone mentioned last night, when asked the same question, that 'Buttercup' is the person known as pl ... the pl person was around last week and is very funny.
Yes, I'd picked up on that... so presumably this is a 'chat-only' guise. Well the more the merrier, certainly! And it was pretty merry last night I thought. Toga party next week?
chat-a-tat
Aww! I'm sorry I missed that.. I have a blokie coming to look at my home computer tomorrow and hopefully he'll sort it out. It's acting very strange and will only boot in safe mode now. I can't work out what's wrong with it. Very annoying!
Diagnosis
[snorgle] I think the problem is that it's broken.
[Chalky] Before my intention to say some more vanishes off the top... The course I was on does come from the States originally, founded by two Anglican priests (although there's nothing specifically religious involved) something like 25 years ago. Difficult to say much concrete, really. It's mainly about learning to see things as they are, and noticing when we stop doing that. Just look at a lot of the postings in the Advice game at MCiOS for examples of the stuff people come out with when that happens. They're posted there in fun, of course, but how often do you hear people saying things like that in real life?
beta-talk
I had not been in a chat room before last night and enjoyed it greatly. Although I did not contribute very much(sorry), I'll try and do better next time, but my typing speed is tortoise slow.
paws are not so good to type with...
Inkspot] Thank heavens someone else is in the same boat! I nearly fell over in awe at the laser-wit demonstrated by some contributors - very notably Néa and Pen. Great evening – especially following on from the classic ISIHAC earlier.
Apologies for not being able to make it last night. The internet was broken. Or at least the bit of it that leads to my house was. However, an internet-fixer came by today, and so I have home connection again. See you all next week, maybe.
Mr Inkspot!
Thank you kind sir.
Aunty's slow
'Tis ok.
Is it just me at the moment, as I'm getting error messages and pages just not loading when looking round BBCi news.
I was barely there Monday night after the initial flurry of activity - the phone line and/or/therefore the internet decided to die, slowly and horribly. Am not going to be around the next two, probably three weeks. A pity.

and Dujon: please check your email, see if mine got through to you, and let us know what you think... Thanks.

flerdle
Your message has been responded.
Typos notwithstanding
[BtD] I'm flattered - and encouraged that my distinctive typo style didn't detract from your enjoyment :o). Mostly it comes from snorting with laughter so hard that I can't see to type.
keyboard madness
[Dunx] I managed to access the internet last night, but then the keyboard doesn't seem to be working. Then it started beeping and random numbers appeared. I'm sure it must be a virus, as I can't think why my keyboard would suddenly go mad..

Also, when I switched my computer off, it seemed to switch off, but I realised later that the screen was off but the power was still on in the base unit..

[snorgle] I think your computer needs a good defenestration.
[snorgle] Or some good, old-fashioned percussive maintenance.
quick fix
BB/Wol] You are both wrong. I would rather suggest hitting it with a hammer or throwing it out of the window. Far more effective.
fencing
[Boolbar]That sounds rude! [Wol]Tried it already. [st dogmael]Sorely tempted..
a window on the world
Ooh, I love a good defenestration first thing in the morning...
Seriously ...
[snorgle] sounds like it could be a virus (My father-in-law had - I think - Bugbear, which stopped him from turning his machine off. Of course, he could just have unplugged it ... It also seemed to disable Norton anti-virus, but AVG found it in the end.) grisoft.com have a good, free anti-virus (AVG), and also utilities for extracting individual viruses once they have been identified.
*Wandering through dragging a teddy bear and sleeping bag*
I'm off to have my second nap of the day. Ooh! Aren't I lazy?!?!
awooga!
[Wol]The faults make it difficult to get to websites and do things.. Hopefully, the blokie tonight will sort it out.. [Lib]Yes you are! Wake up now!
[Raak] Thanks for that. Your experience sounds altogether less pushy, for want of a better word, than mine. Yes, it was about 18 years ago and to be truthful, I've been raaking my brains trying to remember the name of the organisation - I've even looked for the notes I made at the time. I recall that the lady who did most of the front work was called Ross. As well as being highly articulate, she was also extremely funny, which may be why my abiding memory is that of an immensely enjoyable experience. Your interesting observation regarding the Advice Game in MCiOS has prompted me to revisit, reread and revise my interpretations of some entries. Fascinating :-)
Training
I used to have great fun watching training videos for a well-known electrical company borrowed from a friend who worked for them. Themes included "How to recognise a customer" and "What do customers need?” My own experience of corporate indoctrination was when I worked for a record company and was sent on an induction day. It was a disaster. We had to offer our perceptions about customer responses to their TV ads. I told them the truth, that the ads were patronising and superficial. I lasted two weeks.
Can there be any better time to say the word "pendulum"?
hanging time...
[Thos] I don't think so. It shut us all up for five hours!
Disappointing news :o( My first new staff member was supposed to be starting on Monday but she's accepted another job instead. Poo. The next one starts on 15th December though...
Today I read a sign in the hosptial foyer.

"Due to difficulties we are unable to serve hot food in the resturant tonight. Please bare with us".

Not entirely sure how taking our clothes off will help, but willing to try!

Dr in Undressed Salad Scandal!
Uh...no comment. :)
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] I'm confused. After kneecapping on Monday, I used my ten grand to buy shares in J Wilkinson. I don't appear to have received any dividends at all. Does one have to stay with the same celeb for a full 7 days to qualify? Also - where to we find the 'Dividend Payout' List for today?
Just a final word about that course...I've actually done several of their courses over the last 10 years or so, as well as being on the organising team a few times. It's called "The Life Training", and in London it's put on every two months.
Johnny who?
Chalky] I am suprised that you have no divis as the payout is proportional to how long its been held, if a dividend is £7, and you hold that celeb from Tuesday, you will get £3, the big winners will be those that had like evil_edna who had the shares for all seven days. You can request a daily update email from the daq towers which on Fridays gives your payout plus details on divi of the week. Otherwise it means waiting till Monday when the full list will be published.
ps the reason for my long tem minus weekly gain is I have a cunning plan!
*cackle*
Jonny Wilkinson is my pretty boy! And I made it to No. 81 in the national table :o)
feeling a bit short-changed
[evil cackling woman] Perhaps there wasn't enough of him to go round - everyone wants a slice of him now :-(
Anything interesting happening in MCiOS or Orange? My ISP isn't allowing me into either server - very annoying, especially as I'm having a quiet day at home and I've got time to play .... *sound of gnashing teeth*
Hmmm
I made the mistake of getting some Michael Jackson as well. Never mind. Well done miss evil :)
daqy
I got Michael Jackson as well.. better than nothing, I suppose.. it's probably not work going for Johnny next week now. At least my computer's working again! It was the keyboard, so one new keyboard later, and everything's fine.
ISPants
[Chalky] Hmm, I can't get into outer space either...
Nnnnoooo...no pars-s-s-slow....
No chat...GAAAH!
dubious parentage
Now look here all you ex Pants chaps, it's just not cricket, shutting up the clubhouse like that when a fella's off writing a novel and not leaving a forwarding address! It was a good job a small trail of crumbs was left at the profiles page and a friend of mine called Lycos knew where you'd all gone. Consider yourself heartily rebuke, nay, castigated.
Novel post
Welcome Mr Coyote, yet another Pants refugee. I believe we are distant cousins?
Wile E Smiley!
*popping in to flash a grin at Wile E*. Am watching Channel 4's 100 Best Sexiest Scenes from the Movies and it's really rather good.....
Channel Phoar
*Curses the day he through the TV out*
Super Genius!
Welcome to our new home, WEC! And how is Marie these days?
Hello again!
[WEC] Sorry to find out that various messages were not passed on - it's so hard to find decent help these days! ... :-) Anyway, you have found a few of us; did you employ Sherlock?
[DrQ] I'm more worried about Jeeves, to be quite honest, after all he's the one who serves the drinks. Marie simply, well, err, serves otherwise.
The lovely Marie
Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.
carpet bugger
wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.
monopoly
Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...
jeeves update
[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.
Termination of Face Pyjamas
May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?
Goodnight
[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.
stupid pewter
Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)
Pastiche and chips
Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to
Takeoff
[Bob] Really?
Bob the dog sentence
murder our parents, who had long been
Erm, no then.
All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had
silly sentence
[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...
sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to
..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..
Aside
(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Tear in the space-time contiuum thingy!
Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...
Another vote for the Bob-the-dog sentence spectacular.
...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.
Too late! The deed is done
Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.
New Game
OK. It kinda worx.
New Game
[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.
*** game
I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).
****
[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.
I **** it.
Item of cutlery in a hot place.
I guess we could all give it a ***.
Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?
nonet
[Wol] I think it's ******
Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.
I so hate Geocities!
***** game
[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?
Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!
*****
[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.
sick puppy
That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.
it is ****
I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)
i bet you do
pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.
So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)
chat windows...
[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.
Down with ****s
[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

Massive Missive Musses Trellis
[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?
******* Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.
[Chalky] Be my guest.
first night breakages
Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?
small squeak
... not quite brave enough to start a new game ...

Thanks pen :-)

*CLANG!*
I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.
Pro Joy
Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.
I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Missive T
Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?
Executive decision
Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.
**** advice
I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.
[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.
Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!
knee-sittin'
[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!
blackballing Ma Whisky
Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!
Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?
Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!
Hmmph!
[Breadmaster] Pffft!
*CLANG*
* rolls slowly across the plain *
Ewired
I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!
digirad...
Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)
evocative
[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..
rad-ing the kitchen
[Btd, pen, snorgs] I'm still waiting for them to go down in price.
[pen] Sounds as though your PC is in your kitchen. Not so unusual really. I have a kitchen-cum-diner-cum-office, which rather places me in the centre of ground floor activity; fine if I'm home alone. It does lend itself to easy raiding of fridge, though.
gone digin'
This one was on special offer - I think because it is a 'classic fm' model and has a button to get you straight to there. I do not like classic fm very much so that button will (mostly) remain unused. Its the other channels I'm enjoying - BBC radios 6 and 7 are top of my list at the moment. 6 'cos it has interesting music and 7 because of the archived comedies including ISIHAC. And it has a pretty blue screen too.
writing in stereo
I bought a new stereo in september. When I was looking around I wanted a CD player, tape and digital radio combo, preferably in a mini hi-fi system with good speakers. However such a device is not made 9which seems a bit daft to me). Grrrr. So I just bought the stereo and will wait for a digi-radio to get cheaper. My bro has one though, so I might pinch it when he's not looking (in the evil-little sister way of doing things!).
cheapskate, me? The 7th Earl of Lancaster?
[Btd]The one I saw at Boots was £99, so how much is the Classic FM model? Is that the one at WH Smiths?
Yup - reduced to £71.
That was me by the way.
Personally I'd want a hi-fi separate digiradio, cos although these retro-style portables are all well and good I don't understand why you would want a high-quality, distortion-free digital signal piped through a three-inch speaker.
rab] This one has line out on the back (I checked before buying) - so I can (and will) use it with my seperates. And the speaker isn't bad at all!
random question
What countries are we all from on this place? I sometimes detect language/ideas from the other side of the pond, and I find it all very interesting.
countries
USA. Although I try to use the British spelling when I think about it.
Why, I'm in London. Where are you, ZK?
UK - Statford-upon-Avon.
[Bm] Kicking about a messy student flat in Birmingham :)
Kicking a dog about in a messy house in Bucks!
UK also..Birmingham also..Sutton Coldfield exactly
Oh, Angus...
[AP] (ignoring the obvious rspca-needing overtones) You just told me it wasn't that bad! :)
Kicking about in a small, scruffy semi in Herts. [Angus - where are you in Bucks? I'm just 500 yards from the county line, sheriff]
[Chalky] It's a laptop on the kitchen table. Very handy for grilling sausages while I surf, although there's never anything interesting left in my fridge. Sometimes I take the laptop upstairs to watch DVDs in bed :o)
Multi-tasking
[Pen] Does that mean that it is used as an electric frying pan cum hot water bottle? How often do you need to wash the bedding?
[Dujon] It only really needs doing if I fry fish.
Luxury
When I was small, I read a book in which a character declared that mangos should always be eaten in the bath, because of the mess. For years, eating mangos in the bath has been my idea of utter decadent pleasure. But I have since revised this to watching DVDs in bed on a laptop, which I now do frequently and with enormous satisfaction.
Eeek!
[Pen] *Urrgh!* ... ;-) [Pen & Breadmaster] Without mentioning names, there are some who frequent this web site who worry me!
Hang on, officer
Not those kinds of DVDs. Dear me...
thereabouts
I'm in Cardiff - which has finally got rather cold..
Pretty chilly in Mancatraz this morning too.

Got a delightful letter from my Grandma this weekend. My favourite comment was "The things that go on in the Villages. I could write a book about it, but they'd have to bin it.". I presume she meant that it would have to be binned because of the scandalous content, but with that combined with her rather free-form jazz writing style, there could be a Booker Prize in her...

Narrrch here, in the flatlands north east of London. Cold and sunny today.
CD DVDs?
[Dujon] Lord no, not those kinds of DVDs! The ones I can remember watching in bed are the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...and it's generally when I get 'flu, which isn't very often at all.
The NW London 'burbs are very bright and sunny. At 11.30GMT, my car is still thoroughly frosted over.
Icy here. The water inside the chicken coop froze last night. Poor chooks.
Is there a dress code for tonight? May I suggest Inuit?
[Bob] Bring your own igloo party? As long we can speak in English this week...
Cold?
It's -10 C here in balmy Pittsburgh, after Friday's 8-10 inches of thick, wet snow. Woo-hoo!
brr..
As my damn 'puters still doolally, I probably won't be there again.. :( I'll take a hammer to it tonight and try to threaten into submission, we'll see how that goes!
Geographically speaking...
Currently lurking in the Essex suburbs, to answer the earlier enquiry...
Location, Location, Location
[ZK] Portland, Oregon USA now, but formerly of various parts of the UK, and originally growing up in the fine Surrey outpost of Ilkley, W. Yorks.
random things one knows
Alan Titchmarsh grew up in Ilkley. Fact. Is Oregon east or west?
Orientation
[ZK] Of what?
[Location] Currently, just in Bucks (by about 300 yards from Beds) Very close to the Herts border, too - in fact, I drive through all 3 counties to get to work.
[Watty] Well that's a coincidence. I was born in Chorleywood, which happens to be on the Herts/Bucks border: I was born on the Herts side, by a couple of hundred yards. (A road actually runs along the border, and is appropriately called "Shire Lane" - the odd-numbered houses are Herts, the even numbers are Bucks. Or it may be the other way around.) Not so near to Berks or Beds, though.

Whereas, having gone to school in darkest mid-Somerset, now I live in Manchester...

The Titchy One
[ZK] Indeed he did - he's a patron of the theatre where I did some acting when I was growing up, and where my sisters still do.

Oregon is west coast. It's the state between California and Washington (Washington state being a completely different place from Washington DC, of course).

more interuptions
This has taken a bit longer than needed and its still not right I'm not happy about the table layout, the colours, border but finally, with my apologies for the late arrival, Dec 5 and Chalky has topped the Celebrity MC League.

At least I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago about style sheets, attributes, values and syntax, but I still need to do boxes and margins.

Oooh... nice!
[Inkspot] Nice table. I'm hanging onto Jonny Wilkinson for now ;o) even though he's gone down in value. Hoping that there'll be more about him in the papers after today's victory parade.
top chocolate
Well done Inkspot. I'm growing rather fond of my four green Mars Bars :-)
Cresdaq
How did everyone join that?
Joining Fees
[ZK] If you are interested in silly games, join up on the BBC web site, get sorted with registration and, if you ask nicely and advise your player name and number, Inkspot just might add you to the 'team'.
Where?
Sorry - it would help if I gave you an address:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/celebdaq/trade.cgi?registershow=1

Celebdaq tables
[Inkspot] Unless you are deriving some pleasure out of composing your own table, why not use a screen capture program? I hope that I am not being rude, as I do appreciate your time and trouble spent on this 'game'.
If you are interested, there is a freeware programme available at This site
An example of its output can be seen here.
That, by the way, is my one and only attempt so I'm sure it could be improved.
Hmmm
Then again, it's a bit big. I'll take that back. ... :-(
speak up!
Is anyone going to say anything today?
[pen] Still in shock from last night...
[rab] I should imagine you're exhausted . .
?
So will anyone admit what went on? It's very mysterious...
mystery
[snorgle] rab rode a bicycle around the chatroom (which relocated to an igloo last night) for about two hours. Nothing remarkable about that, you might think, until you realise the saddle was made of ice. I think he might also be suffering from being in the company of Lib in a mackerel-skin basque, Chalky in Lycra and me in a seal-skin bikini. That's a lot to take in. ;o)
We also had a visitation from a nude Jade Goody. Least said, soonest mended.
oooh rab - your SO SWEEEEET!!!! I fort youd say summink NHAAHAHAHHH!
Am I dreaming?
That was NOT me... I know I'm responsible for a lot of weird stuff in the chatroom on a Monday night, but I wouldn't dream of inviting Jade Goody on here... honest. Naaahahahahhahh!
This places Chalky firmly in the frame...
What's happened to Mr Wildpants' Mornington Crescent site? I've lost Puckoon to the ether...
A Death in the Family
[Mr T] Sadly, Pants MC went the way of all flesh a couple of months ago. The Lock Cup has been transferred to the new Lockisseum site, but players of other games have been finding a warm welcome here and at the other MC sites which remain.
Igloo pilg
Damn - had to miss it because of deadlines and computer problems. It sounds like it was a classic. Will the transcripts go up on Orange?
And welcome Mr T. All you need is here.
oooh missus
[Bob] I'm afraid the link to the transcript is already there. *blushes*
Hello Mr Trebus :-)
exciting happenins
My computer is being mended again - but I'm getting a new one for xmas, a nice shiny new computer with dvd re-writer and flashing lights(maybe)! Yay!
Speaking of the late Pants MC....
Does anyone know if Rosie is posting anywhere these days, following his little flounce-out of here a little while back?
Hello Bigsmith
Dujon may know a little more. Yes, a petulant flounce is certainly what it was. Seems we weren't quite good enough for him :-)
Yeah.
Does anyone know what all that was about? I'm all for constructive criticism, but I thought his exit comment was rather uncalled for.
[rab] I was rather hoping it was a misdirected moment of madness in the wee small hours after one pint too many, so was waiting for some form of apology or even explanation. I agree that the comment was crass and puerile; as for what lay behind it, one can only surmise that, as a mature adult, Rosie had his reasons. A dignified exit would have, at least, demonstrated a modicum of respect for you, the host.
rab] I thought some arsehole had posted using his name.
[Bob] Me too, which is why I didn't think too much of it at the time.
Time out on rugby ball
Oh sh*t. You know I was chatting about my fabbo date planned for tonight with the rugby coach? Well it's off. His grandfather 'died this morning'. It's either a big lie to get rid of me, or his grandfather did it deliberately to f*ck up any chance I had of graduating out of my enforced spinsterhood. Either way, I'm taking it personally. *reaches out blindly for proffered hankie from sympathetic MC-fivers*
a clean handkerchief
[pen] Aw! And I was just about to post a 'break a leg/wing bone/bottle of bubbly' sort of message to you because I'd remembered that tonight was supposed to be the night. Intending no disrespect to his grandfather who may/may not have passed on today/recently/ages ago, it's probably for the best. You know what they say about men who talk about themselves all the time ....
and a box of choccys.
pen] Either he has no imagination or he is telling the truth. Either way you win!
*sniff*
Thanks you two. I'm going to spend the evening in a Bridget Jones way, wrapping Christmas presents to within an inch of their lives and painting my toenails.
Reason I asked
I too thought Rosie's last entry totally out of character and probably bogus. However time has passed with no further sightings, and I was curious that's all. Miss the old buffer truth be told.
Penelope's night in
Watching DVDs in bed seems a popular choice for a night in these days. I have a quiet night in for once myself tonight which I shall spend with my nose in a book - wading through George MacDonald Fraser's Flashman papers for the umpteenth time. Fantastic stuff.
pondering
Rosie was great! It isn't that bad here, so maybe it was the loss of a particular game that upset him?
It isn't bad at all
It seems that he is missed. I hope he gets to know.
Colin Firth around the corner
[Penelope] It seems to me that this chap can't have been of good genetic stock, given his grandfather's propensity to die at socially inconvenient moments. A night in with your toenails sounds far more enjoyable. If it's any consolation, I have to spend tonight in with the Venerable Bede, who is not the best company.
mine's the one with the faux fur around the neck..
[BM]The dead rarely are. They often smell, for a start.
feeling sorry all round
[pen] I think the word 'arse' sums up things. Hope the DVDs hit the spot. [all] I'm feeling very sorry for myself today. Hangover. Seemed a good idea at the time. Hows everyone else today?
[pen] Tsk. [lib] A little tipsy, after preparing for a 2pm meeting with a couple of pints during lunch, and looking forward to seeing Johnny Vegas in Liverpool this evening. I hope to be hungover tomorrow, saturday and/or sunday, though, at which juncture I shall feel your pain.
Feelings
[Lib] Very well, thank you, although I can't figure out why I'm so tired today. I fear I may be battling a bug of some kind, my wife having had a sore throat for a few days now. With any luck a nice vigorous run this morning will shake the various bits of phlegm loose.
[pen] *hug* Sorry about that, chuck.
All hugs welcomed but....
[Dunx] Thanks.. but maybe you should just keep your distance until you get over your bug! (I've already kept off one lurgy from my Kiwi flatmate this week). BTW, a rib-splitting belly-laughing session has just done wonders for shifting the phlegm from my tubes this afternoon. My colleague has discovered my weakness for anyone doing impressions of Jim Royle's 'ha-HA' laugh and now my ribs ache. :o)
Santa Ted
Deck the halls with boughs of holly, he's back!
And this time it's not even accidental. Must remember to take him down at the end of the festive period.
Poo, lots of it.
Hmmm, I wonder who chewed that hole in the carpet.....
If that's a reference to Christmas Ted, then I would suggest your browser is to blame.
missing persons
[Boolbar] Ah - so Poo Puppy is responsible for keeping you away from the Crescent?
relief road
phew - the traffic has started moving again in the Limerick game..
One down, three to go
The first of my attempts to avoid the prospect of unemployment next year has been put into action. Won't hear the outcome til May though...
[Chalky] Is that a reference to Boolbar's poo post?!
[Darren] oh dear, yes - the juxtapositioning is rather questionable :-)
Be vewy vewy quiet....
[rab] Is it grant season already?
[DrQ] Oh yes indeedy.
Academia
How does that work? Does lack of grant mean loss of tenure, or does lack of grant mean that work to gain tenure cannot be undertaken (unless independently funded)? Sorry if the question seems imbecilic but I have no knowledge of how it all dovetails.
Foo!
I dunno how it goes on the Eastside of the Atlantic, but over here profs apply for only-God-and-her-secretary-knows-how-many grants, out of which they pay their postdocs/grad students/other staff, as well as equipment costs, and *cough*40% university overhead. Around here, if you want to get a tenure-track professorship, you pretty much need to have grants in tow.
[DrQ] That's pretty much what happens over here as well. Except that we don't have tenure any more, so even when you have a job, you still have to run as fast as you can to keep it. Especially if you're in a 4-desperate-to-be-a-5 rated department.
hang on
Rosie's back!
The house at poo corner
[Chalky] Indeed. The puppy (Frodo) is delightful but he also needs a lot of attention. Plus the ongoing mouse in the roof situation and the leeking outside loo means I shouldn't be here now.
cupboard love
[Boolbar] Where are you? Hiding in the cupboard under the stairs until those problems are sorted out by someone else?
(again)
I'd just like to say that I've found the perfect combination of undergarments for inclement weather whilst walking and exhibition-visiting in town. A long-sleeved thermal vest plus a long sleeved shirt will keep you warm but not bulk you out. Can I also recommend the '100 Years of the Art Fund' exhibition at the Hayward Gallery.? Bloody excellent. And now I'm going to bed for some well-earned sleep. See you all Monday night in the chatroom when I will tell you how my new member of staff got on during his first day with me as his boss! :o)
(and no, I'm not pissed, but I hope to be tomorrow)
A weekend away and I return to find that penelope's well insulated for the weather and likely to be pissed by now (11.50GMT), Frodo puppy is as demanding as he is appealing and it's grant season in academia - so the only contribution I can make is, yes I had a wicked time and can we do something Christmassy tomorrow night, like Santa's Toy Factory in Lapland, or something like ....?
Lapland and frigidity
It's 'funny' at this time of year to read the various comments about the cold weather. ... :-)
I'm sitting here in my workshop in a light short-sleeved top with a coolish - for this time of year - day outside. It's about 23°C at the moment (11:57Z) and one of flerdle's eight legged friends is sitting on the Holland blind a couple of feet away from me. Sorry, I don't have a digital camera otherwise I'd take a pic for you. He's a Huntsman, which generally have a much larger body size than the Wolf Spider which flerdle displayed a while ago. No doubt he's having a nap, being daytime, and only occasionally moves his legs around.
Should I get the chance tomorrow morning I shall attempt to join you in the chat room of MCiOS, but having work to do it may not be possible.
toasty
I'm just back from Melbourne, Sydney and Cairns (well, Atherton Tablelands, actually) where it was occasionally stormy but nice, beautiful, and stinking hot respectively. It is rather warm here but not too bad, all things considered.

Having missed it for the last couple of weeks, I'm afraid I probably won't make it to the MCiOS chatroom this Monday night either as I have to fly to Newcastle (near Sydney) for work. Plus I'm just knackered. *groans*

mints
I'll try to make it..my computer is sort of working, and I should manage it. Is 8pm too early?
pilght
I'd love to pilg tonight as I had so much fun prancing around in my mackerel skin bikini last week, but I've got a problem. Can anyone help? What it is, is there's a big content filter here (where I live and work and have my only net connection), so Shhhh, don't tell anyone I access (as I've not asked but am sure if I do then will be told its not allowed). Anyway. The chatroom doesn't work. The clock on MCiOS functions (so I think I have flash 6) and the chatroom page loads and tells me nicely to type my name 'here' and then press connect, but it refuses to connect. I've tried clicking on it many ways (including whilst doing a handstand, which quite frankly just looked silly!) but can't figure it out. Any bright ideas? Please?!?!
light
[Lib] You might be better off asking Dan at MCiOS since he's the one who understands how the chatroom works. My guess is that the communication between your computer and the chat server is done using a "port" (which is a bit like a particular telephone extension on a switchboard) that the hospital doesn't want you to have access to and there ain't much you can do about that.
blight
My work computer doesn't like the chatroom either - I'm not going to complain as I get to use the internet as much as I like, otherwise..
new game ideas
Now that the crossword chat has crept into the crypt ... I would love to play an Imposters game of some sort.
Impostulating
How about murder in the dark imposters. Correctly guess the identity of other players for points. And what do points mean..?
points mean
Piccalili?
Tonight
It looks like I may not make it to the chatroom tonight, on account of entertaining a visitor to our department. On the other hand, that may well not go on too late, so I might make a late entrance if I take my laptop with me.
re: Tonight
[rab] You mean someone *willingly* went to Manchester? *ducks* Then again, one could make the same claim for Pittsburgh and its 16" of snow the past two weeks....
Belatedly
PRIZES!! sorry
Impostors Crescent - the return?
Well, if anybody wants to play over on Mornington Crescent in Outer Space, you'll see that somebody has started an Impostors Game there - with a twist. The more players, the merrier, and let's see how it develops...
Oh goody ... how about Good News/Bad News ... here?
oops
It seems to have happened :-)
Impostors
How does this imposters crescent thing work?
Imposing
[ZK] You pretend to be someone else, and play the entire game in character as that person. (Hint: browse the archives!). You display your imposted moniker using a '!' sign in front. I'm afraid this is a geeky thing: '!' means 'not' in C and related computer languages. Oh, and the game's at MCiOS in case you were unaware.
Andanovverthing
Usually once the game has ended, the unmasking begins. I think I've worked one of them out already!
Groovy
Sounds like fun to me! However, must go and clean out fridge. Less fun but entirely necessary.
It's not that bad....
[Dr Q] You should visit Manchester, it's not half as bad as rab makes out. Maybe we should have a mini-plig here......
Mini-plig
Maybe when Nik comes out of his coma and JLE has finished his piano practice, this could be arranged...
I've been wondering about a Super Pilg. Format - our very own ISIHAC. MCers are warned of the games and prepare in advance. We'd probably have to stay up late so a hotel venue would be best. Any takers?
A nod to Bob
[Bob] Thought I'd best acknowledge your wonderings, particularly as they incorporate the words 'staying up late', 'hotel venue' and end in 'Any takers?' - not a question one would wish to leave hanging overnight :-)
Obviously the whole shebang would be recorded, or even filmed, and in the true tradition of the travelling ISIHAC which has torn itself away from its London roots, perhaps somewhere central to all participants, say ... the West Midlands?
Freelance MC
Sounds a fab idea - and if I were able to attend could offer my services as cameraperson and/or video editor, although I've not any decent sound recording equipment.
100
Should anyone fancy a go, I've posted a cryptic film quiz that has turned up in the office. There are gaps which stumped us.
[Inky] Is part of the test of the quiz to find it?!?! Or am I being daft? [BtD] A super-pilg would be fantastic. Let's do it!
Lights come on!
[Inky] I've Found it!
Did I forget something?
Oh yes I put it in 'Obscure vault 99 '
Coma? What coma? I'm fine. Honest (note: I'm not fine).
ISIHAC pilg
Ok seems like that ones a goer. Wishlist for venue:
Real Ales(?) or decent beer at least
Overnight accomodation for those wishing to stay
Not too expensive
Centrally based - Perhaps Oxfordshire?
Room to use as venue for parlour games - preferably with piano (is someone prepared to take the place of Colin Sell? Projoy?)
Any suggestions?
Organisational wishlist:
I'd love to help prepare the programme, but who will compare? rab?
Camerawork - blamelewis (excellent) And we'd need at least 8 regular players (and their spouces, friends, relatives, animals etc). + piano player...
As for timing, how does a weekend in May sound? We should have time to plan, hotels will be cheap, weather not too bad...
Did somebody say piano player?
Ooh
If I'm not tied down by those meddling exams I'd love to come along...if not, circulate tapes!
... and I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't've been for you meddling exams!
Oh look, it's the only other human we've seen all episode
That was where I was going with it :)
Crescent celebdaq
Can I join?
Mr Piano
JLE are you a pianist? If so would you be interested in a diverting evening of entertainment playing parlour games?
Wild night
How does THIS look as a potential venue?
Comparison
Not sure I have the necessary wit, charm or smuttiness to be a viable compere.
[Bob] Well, I'd say I was a pianist, if no less than six qualifications of various different types from music colleges and still an inability to get a steady job means anything of the sort...
Noteworthy
JLE] Fantastic - and a willing participant?
rab] I beg to differ.
Spank
I'd need a script.
more players
ZK] Visit Celebdaq towers to create a player profile and buy some shares. Come back here and post your player ID No and I will add you straight away. For my sins I have two accounts in the league as does Uncle Korky. I'm still not sure how blamelewis has managed to grab the No1 shot at the moment but there will tears before bedtime after the divis are paid out on Friday!
[BtD] I see a plan forming. Thos might be willing to help work on a script of some sort (if we could cope with all those puns!). And the proposed venue is acceptable to me.
A Thos script would be superb. The St George is OK but only has 8 rooms (Mostly double and en-suite) cost £70 per room B&B. There are other B&Bs within walking distance of the pub. I've been ringing some contacts at the BBC and I may have secured a guest appearance by the one and only Samantha. I assume she would be available to tot-up the teams’ points.
Would love to do it, but depends very much on the cost.
celebdaq
am already registered, but haven't looked for aaaages...*goes to find number*...3058974.
oh_danny_boy
ZK] You are in and added to the league, I hope you will enjoy the friendly competition ;)
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Fabbo! Thanks!
Returning from bbc.co.uk
Wahey! I already suck! This'll be fun!
ISIHA?
JLE] Thanks.
Lib] Can you ask Thos if he'd be able to do some scripting?
all] I think that £70 per room is probably too expensive. Plus the getting to the venue. If I could find somewhere for about £30 B&B, how many would like to participate? As I said, we'd need about 8 definites to make it worthwhile. So far:
Btd
Lib
ZK (as long as no exam conflict)
blamelewis (I assume yes)
JLE (As long as not too pricey)
maybe...
[BtD] I don't know where Thos hides, but Projoy does, so maybe if he's reading this he could ask him. Thanks Projoy. And I have to say that I'm really not that witty. Early in May would probably be better for me (as already have work, choir, hen night and wedding to schedule around!)
'I like driving in my car'
[JLE] I'll most likely be driving down to the super-pilg from Manchester(ish), so you could have a lift (to make it a bit easier on the pocket).
I would echo "not too priciness" comments.
[Lib] Lovely, as I'll be going from Manchester. The only trouble would be getting back afterwards, assuming the usual amount of Pilgrimage alcohol-consumption... unless you happen to be the one and only teetotal person in the world of MC. ;-)
Alcoholiday
JLE/Lib] If you can afford to B&B it, then you have at least one night to recover.
Seeing as rab is also from Manchester, is there room for further car sharing?
rabbiting
[BtD/rab] rab can have a lift too, provided we're still talking at that point! And if Nik, the other near-Manchester crescenter (that I know of) wanted to join our car-party then he'd be welcome too. We could have a very long game in the car to extend the pleasure! Whee! [JLE] I'd rather B&B it to facititate alcohol consumption, if it fits in with your buget.
Frolicing in May
I've just cross posted the idea onto Orange and MCiOS. Lets see what happens ...
seasons bleatings
May I just say, there are some truly revolting Christmas card illustrations out there? I just unearthed a pack of 50 hideous ones. OH well, they came out at 5c each...
Unconventional
[Lib, rab, Btd] This sounds more like a "convention" than a pilg. Although I suppose I should avoid that dread word, rendered frightening by SciFi fans. Thos hasn't been hanging around lately, so I've popped him an email. It sounds like the kind of thing I'd enjoy, tho, so put me down as a willing participant. If JLE's on the ivories, perhaps I could turn his pages or play the swannee.
If singing is required, I can also sing reasonably well in tune, but would need to be provided with *both* music *and* words, as I know remarkably little music that is less than a hundred years old.
(This is just in case we end up doing One Song To The Tune Of Another. My voice, by the way, is a fairly high tenor, as those who have met me in Pilgrimages can attest. I've sung lead tenor in a barbershop quartet before.)
Conventionality
How very flattering to be remembered! I would of course be delighted to contribute in any way thought useful - and though there are many, many funnier people round these 'ere parts, and several script writers amongst us, I would be exceedingly happy to provide/contribute to/collaborate on scripts. I would just need a brief and a spot of notice! *Thos bows*
seasons bleatings
[flerdle] Feel free! I have in fact been telling anyone who'll listen about this cultural epidemic I have lovingly termed "Ugly Jesus". This Christ bloke (apparently some kind of child star in his day) has made a startling comeback this year in cribs, nativity scenes, christmas cards and so on, about which of course I am thrilled, were it not for the fact that he tends to be portrayed as anything from rather gangly to positively misshapen, and every so often poor Mary makes it look genetic. Send me your sightings of Ugly Jesus - you'll notice it's true!
Interesting fact. Well, interestingish.
There was a tradition in ancient times that Jesus was ugly. I think that this came not from any genuine historical fact but from Isaiah 53, which the Christians believed was about Jesus, and which describes the "suffering servant" as not beautiful to look at.
There is also an apocryphal book called the Acts of Paul, which describes Paul as a short, bald hunchback with a single furry eyebrow like a big caterpillar. However, these were considered signs of beauty in ancient times, so they are probably not historical either - apart from the baldness.
in tune
[JLE] Personally, I think singing in tune is probably a disadvantage.
Re: in tune
[Projoy] Quite right -- Jeremy Hardy gets the biggest round of applause in 1S2TTOA....
Intonation
(Dr Q) That's because his singing is so magnificently awful. The worst thing would be just a little out of tune. Garden and Cryer are both really good singers, especially boozy Barry.
Singing
I can't remember who it was who did Mr Boombastic by Shaggy (I think it was Garden) but it was absolutely superb.
Hardy - a laughing matter
All] I am planning to have one song to the tune of another. Projoy & Thos - you are very welcome to contribute and play (email me - my details are on the Orange pilg board).
It looks as if it is going to be a lot of fun! I nearly gave Samantha the job of preparing the briefs, but have decided to handle them myself. This will be done by New Year. Dunx is helping out with parts of the script and I've also had offers from I Say Porter. This works out well because both are abroad and can't attend (although Dunx has suggested a live phone session - is this a technical possibility blamelewis?) LotUS and Herr Bratche are also keen to attend and help.

Does anyone have a supply of Swannee Whistles and Kazoos?
Musical Instruments
It shouldn't be too difficult to fashion a Swanee Whistle out of a bicycle pump and a descant recorder mouthpiece though the pump might need to be sacrificed. A Kazoo is a comb with a bit of thin paper stuck to it.
technicalities
You'll get plastic kazoos and quite possibly swanees in most tacky gift shops :) Phone sesh: I believe you can buy a mic to fit to a phone to amplify what the person on the other end is saying, but I'm really not all that confident with sound stuff - a lot depends on numbers and size of room - if it's fairly small scale then a phone with speakerphone and everyone else keeping quiet might do it, if it's pretty big then you're into PA's and so on - none of it impossible but it begins to need careful planning and cost money!
The critical info for me is really just the details of when and where... Date, location and cost of staying will determine if I can make it - I'll try my damndest! Assuming I can then I reckon we should find out what sort of size the place is and what sort of equipment the venue has, or can accomodate. In terms of video recording and sound:
Camera: Mine (miniDV camcorder) - and if we have 2 or 3 other attendees willing to lend theirs we could record fixed close ups of team a, team b and "humph" with the option of a fourth camera doing a wider angle and audience reaction shots, piano cutaways etc etc... The venues lighting will be a consideration especially as my camera is a consumer model and therefore not too good under anything other than bright lights
Sound: for that I reckon if we have Bob the Dog's 4 track and mics for team a, team b, "humph" and the piano.
My thinking is based on the assumption that it's primarily a live show for an audience, with two teams, a chairperson and a pianist. We want to perform it live and only use retakes if absolutely necessary. I'd be interested to hear from anyone who's attended a recording of ISIHAC about how the day ran in technical terms - if they recorded items out of sequence or with breaks in the recording... My email is blamelewis at yahoo dot co dot uk. In terms of operators for all that technology it could be done on a minimum of two (1 sound and 1 camera) but the more the merrier...
Singing in the pain
I belong to the Jeremy Hardy school of singing.
Exactly
Blame] I've been lucky enough to go to a recording and I suggest we follow exactly the same format. At a particular venue, two shows for two consecutive weeks are recorded. They are recorded with a break in the middle which acts as refreshment time. I suggest that we have a Humph and four players for the first half followed by a beer break then a different four players for the second half. If we get more interest, we could get a second Humph (It'd be nice to ring the changes and offer the seat to more than one person). I've already had enough MCers showing interest to guarantee at least nine attendees, and if we get more (and I think we will) - we either have a bigger audience or will have to plan for more games.
Technically the shows are recorded in one go. Obviously there are times when a line is muddled (Humph is king of this). He simply starts again and the fluff is edited.
For those who have never attended and do not wish to know some of the secrets, I will paste the rest of this message on the laser display board.The show is semi-improvised, players having prepared for questions but still happy to ad-lib. The laser display board is John Naysmith with a piece of cardboard and you never actually see Samantha.
live recs
On the occasions I've seen it recorded there are usually some drop-in retakes to do at the end as well, but we perhaps might not be quite as fussy as the Beeb.
musical instruments of the plastic variety
I'm pretty sure I can get a decent kazoo from the local music shop for about a quid, if that.
Uber-pilg
Colour me interested.
pilg
Can I ask that I only be semi-coloured interested, tinted perhaps, as I won't want to disappoint nearer the time should it turn out I can't make it.
more interuptions again
Good luck to you all going to the pilg I'm not able to get a day or weekend pass.

And in other news, blamelewis is hiding his light under a bushel, so in the time honoured fashion it gives me great pleasure to announce, he is this weeks No1 on the Celebdaq.

The Mother of all Pilgs
...and I can't get there. :(
celebdaq
oooh [Inkspot] Ta for the mention. I suck, but who knows? I may get better! :)
Celeb!
OOh - I hadn't noticed! It's all down to Michael Jackson and Liv Tyler. One of whom I idolise...
Nice things
It's all right, Lewis, they say he's a nice fellow if you dig deep enough. Now, your shout isn't it?
anglo-australian misunderstanding
Gary Packer's a poof!
Or whatever the name was...
Feeling bored
Okay, okay, so I can blame insomnia and lack of common sense for my feeling deserted at this time of night I suppose but where have all the other late-nighters got to?
Late night?
[ZK] It's only 8 PM local time here :)
forgetting international time-difs
Ah yes of course. currently 1.11 am. Am often up far later, which is why I'm so grateful for the game's wide appeal :)
Silent Night
Bit quiet here today? If anyone's epilging tonight I probably won't make it as I think my house is doing Christmas drinks.
The Missing E-Pilgrim....oh, here it is!
I'm in right now.
[Dr Q] I would be, but I need to concentrate on writing this document.
[Dunx] I've taken the liberty of doing that for you.

(Actually, that was done in xfig using splines. Sad to say that's infinitely neater than my actual handwriting.)
[Cross-post] I'm away from today (23/12/2003) until I don't know when (latest, new year's eve). This means that if anything should happen to angrycake.com, I won't be around to resurrect it, and so MC^5 will be down. With any luck, it'll all be fine and dandy, but if it's not, be forewarned.
Just checking ;-)
Still working...
Do you need me at all?
Merry, Merry, Quite Contrary
If I don't get to post before - have a Happy Christmas / midwinter non-culture specific break.
reciprocating
... and you, rabsome one. xxxx
Hurrah!
Christmas cheer all, may your presents be unwoolly and jumperish (or if they are may you have wanted them to be), may your surroundings be loving, may your company be cheerful and may your crackers bring forth crap jokes. xxx
Festivites
Given that it's only just over twelve hours to Christmas Day in my neck of the woods I offer my warmest wishes for Christmas and the New Year to all who read this. I shall think of those of you in cooler climes as I sit back tomorrow in shorts and lightweight top, sipping on something cool, whilst the King Parrots and various versions of Lorikeets dazzle my eyes as they execute precision fly pasts.

Merry Christmas!

bah (sheep?) humbug and other such noises
I'm working all the way through the fun n laughter. Does the NHS ever sleep I wonder?????
[widey] Not in my experience.
lunchtime requests
Can we have an imposters thread? It looks like fun!
Yuletide greetings to all!
At work!!
Merry Xmas to all, particularly those like me who have to go into work.
More holiday cheer
May I wish a pre-emptive Happy Boxing Day to all, and if you're Antipodean, enjoy the tests (despite the NZ-Pak test being delayed for bad light after just 3 overs. Feh!)
testing time
It is Boxing Day here now, stinking hot as usual (11:30am, 34C, 50% humidity)so we're staying in the two airconditioned rooms in the house and playing with new toys. Yesterday was a scorcher too, and the city was completely deserted. It took three hours to finish lunch with relatives and we all just lolled around under the fans until night fell and it was time for a spot of backyard cricket, and then on to the next party. Strangely enough, I didn't feel like having breakfast this morning...
I know you don't really want to know this, but later on...............
I'm going to get very very drunk, which is nice!Happy day of boxing one and all.
Outrageous
Poor Plump! What do you do? I was scheduled to work nights over Christmas, but luckily weaselled out of it - won't be so lucky at New Year though...
Happy Holidays. Oh Yes.
Hmm. I can't wait for work again on Jan 5th. :o(
work
[Breadmaster] I work for BT and yes you've guessed I am in work this weekend as well.
Work?
I, too, am at work, after a freak brownout took out our webserver and several other machines. Feh!
Oh sweet merciful heaven
The voting public have just named Grease the greatest musical of all time. I have lost the last lingering thread of my hope for this country....
Of all time???
Surely you jest!
I jest ye not!!! It beat the sound of music to number one!
And Cats, Joseph, Les Mis, Chorus Line, Top Hat, the Wizard of Oz...I could go on, but it's just too depressing...
TOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Now, I'm no musical buff...but how does Grease rank above Tommy and Phantom?
It doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My theory is, that it wasn't intentional voting. You see, on these channel 4 polls you can vote for up to 10 of the things on the list. Now, what I'll do on these polls (I didn't know about this one) is vote for the ones I like and if those run out I'll then vote for the ones I've seen and thought were okay. I bet that about 40% of Grease's votes were fom proper fans and that the rest came from these 'leftover' votes of people going "ooh, I liked Grease, I guess that deserves a vote" and the witless ba*ds made it number one!!! I wonder how many people voting for it to do well meant to vote it into that position! You should have heard the screaming in our living room when Sound of Music came up as number two - cos we knew what the only two choices were by then!!
trouble right here in River City...
Are we talking movie or stage here?
A nation [or those that be bothered to vote] decides
My all-time favourite, West Side Story, came fourth, but I have to agree that overall the results indicate some bizarre opinions on what constitutes a 'musical'.
Ta, Chalky
West Side Story - magnificent. Porgy and Bess at No. 77! Sacrilege.
Well, it's a fun and eclectic list, and I'm happy to have Grease in the top 100. But the order is a bit whacky, and given what is on there, I miss The Music Man and Into the Woods (but am tickled to find Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bugsy Malone). Probably from the Big Read voters, or the folks at IMDB who would have us believe that Finding Nemo is a better movie than Notorious, Manhattan, The Bicycle Thief or The Graduate...
Durrrr
Well, I have never seen The Sound of Music, West Side Story, or Porgy and Bess, and I liked Grease. Lucky I don't vote in TV polls, really, isn't it?
Grease fans are entitled to their vote but I still don't believe it's the greatest musical ever! [Toby] Both. The oddest thing is that she said two hundred thousand people voted. Oh, I guess that really reflects the opinions of the 5 million strong public, doesn't it? I say that channel 4 never advertises these things properly - always the programmes, but never the votes. I didn't find out about it until the poll was closed. Even this "Musicality" competition they were advertising after it closes on January the 7th - it's the first i've heard of it. Come on, channel 4, put yourself about more!
putting it about
[ZK] I guess Channel 4 were relying on the sponsors, The Daily Mail, to promote and encourage voting, which to be fair, the newspaper did with considerable gusto back in the Autumn. Trouble is, many of our select community are too sniffy to read the aforementioned rag.
the daily mail
or skint....
Breadmaster
I for one am more horrified that Breadmaster has never seen The Sound of Music. How is this possible?
Musicality
Ha! Next he'll be claiming he's never dressed up in fishnets and sung I'm just a sweet transvestite!
Well, just call me uncultured. I'm tone deaf and I don't like musicals, although whether these two things have anything to do with each other is a moot point. I have therefore never sung I'm just a sweet transvestite, but I decline to comment on anything else.
Question?
Question?
Oops.....At what number was Guys n dolls?
G & D
No 36, Widey. Next time you can go find it yourself ... ;-)
Attention, Rosie.
Answering your question in the limerick game - rather than clutter up the thing.
mallee is a low growing eucalypt. There is an area in (I think) N.W. Victoria where these are endemic and which is known as 'The Mallee'.
Standing to attention
OK, Duj - thanks. Nice pong, eucalyptus, probably due to isopropyl and tert-butyl groups attached to an aromatic ring. Better than the assortment of sulphur compounds my aromatic ring tends to produce.
Peg-on-nose
[Rosie] Eee, by gum, lad! The oil of the eucalypt is used for many a 'good' thing; whether or not sulphuric substances fall into any of those catagories is food for thought, though it is oft used as a balm. ;-)
Hrmmph
Catagories s/b categories. .... sorry - brain fade - again.
100 Best Musicals
This passed me by completely -- you see what you miss if you don't stay alert? -- and it turns out to be quite an interesting list. Some predictable injustices -- Sweeney Todd at 80 vs Phantom at 20? No Follies or 42nd Street (the movie, I mean) or The Band Wagon? But it's nice to see Cabaret and West Side Story so high, and indeed (though some will scoff) Once More With Feeling and Moulin Rouge, two sterling attempts to keep the form alive and popular in the 21st century.

The bottom end of the list is probably more interesting than the mainstream top, with unexpected appearances by The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, All That Jazz, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Dancer in the Dark and so on. Was it being made into a (rarely screened) film or just having "Send in the Clowns" that got A Little Night Music onto the list? A good thing, either way. Curious that they list the 1962 film version of Gypsy but the pic and review are for the 1993 TV movie with Bette Midler.

And did anyone really vote for The Jazz Singer (#65) as the "Best Musical"? Historically important, for sure -- but best? Smells a bit fishy to me...

Intermission
Not wishing to interrupt, but I thought I'd just remind people of an impending pilgrimage on the 10th January. More here. Now, back to your usual programming...
100, er, musicals
I was just upset that Hair came in so low (below Starlight Express, for goodness' sake!). I've never seen Once More With Feeling, but the samples they gave left me distinctly unimpressed. Wasn't there a cop series (Cop Rock?) a while ago that did this kind of thing with considerably more style? I, too, missed Into the Woods, among other Sondheims, but his stage-bound nature got him there, I think.
The hills... the hills!
Incidentally, despite liking musicals a lot, I've never seen The Sound of Music either.
more musicals
These are admittedly one my least favoured forms of entertainment, but I did manage a half dazed interest in the top twenty. But I wonder how many of those made in the last 10 years will have a following in 30 years time, hopefully the mistake of Once More With Feeling will have been long forgotten.

Also congrats to blamelewis for his second week on top

What, this is still here? Criminy.
I've some ideas for the May event (provisionally entitled ISIHAC 2 (This time it's unprofessional!) and I've started using the To Be A Pilgrim message board on Orange as the main mixing desk. I've had lots more feedback over Christmas although I'm still hoping to hear from Projoy and Thos - so contact me if you want to help put it together.
contact
[BtD] Beagle-style missive sent off.
The Beagle has landed.
[Btd] Yeah, but is it talking to the mother ship?
A Happy New Year to all you fine, fluffy people. Thank you for letting me sidle in amongst you.
Bonne Annee
Happy New Year to everyone too! (Only 32 minutes before I finish..)
I'm required to leave so the table can be set up for an impending New Year Eve's party. So ... happy new year. See you tomorrow with a hangover, probably.
Happy New Year to all you fine people! Let us drink a toast to the year that has seen the sad demise of PantsMC, and remember all those who *finally sucumbs to the whirling pits and falls down*
knock knock
Happy New Year!
once more with feeling
Bleedin' 'eck, 2004 already? Seems like only yesterday it was 2003. Happy New Year!
Emergency supplies for stray chicken
[Bob] Tomorrow, it seems that I may become foster-mother to a stray chicken. It's too late to tell the full story - but what do I need to get in to make the poor mite comfortable until it's reclaimed? Straw and what ...? I've got budgie food ...
again
By the way - Happy New Year to one and all.
Chicken rescue
Happy New Year too! Chalky] What an odd way to start the new year!
Basics for chicken care - chucks eat:
Grass,
Porridge,
Cabbage, lettuce, any greens,
Grains - preferably corn and wheat - but budgie food may do in the short term,
Worms and stuff they dig up themselves,
And don't forget some water!
If this becomes a long-term thing you'll need to let her have a supply of fine grit too.
If you have a lawn and can set up a small fenced area - four bamboos and some pea netting would do - as day-time housing. An old rabbit hutch would do at night or a very big cardboard box with some chicken wire over the top. If you have sawdust in the bottom of the housing, it helps make poo-disposal easier. Longer-term, stick in a short thick branch (as thick as your fist) for Chuck to perch on at night, and some straw in a corner for it to lay on. And all the best! I'd love to know the story...
chicken run
[Bob] Thank you SO much your help. At this moment I am still awaiting news of said stray chicken. My brother was supposed to have retrieved it and delivered it to me today - but I haven't heard a word. We were at the same New Year party last night, when all this was agreed, so perhaps he partied into the early hours and has spent the day recovering. He hasn't answered his phone either :-(
OK - the story .... last Monday, the chicken announced its arrival at his house by flying kamikaze-style into his front window. After trying to ignore the poor thing for several hours they finally allowed it through their house to the back garden where it promptly positioned itself on top of their grape vine. They tried everything they could to discover its ownership including local radio announcements, etc. but with no sensible response. Anyway, after opening up a small shed for it and allowing it free range, yesterday his wife announced she couldn't cope with the 'mess' any longer and rather cruelly [in my opinion] chucked it out the front door and watched it wander up the road. A couple of hours later, guess what? It returned to begin the flinging itself against their front window again. He let it through to their back garden with a promise to her that he would find a home for it ... and that's where I come in.
Chook
I hate to suggest this, Chalky, but given your sister-in-law's outlook on life, it's probably been, er, well, you know. Just don't eat at her place for a couple of weeks, OK? ... :-(
Awwwww
What a cruel woman! I'm slightly puzzled, however, by a chicken that can fly into a window and sit on top of a grape vine. What kind of super-chicken is this? Or is it in fact a pheasant or something?
bob boc boc
Chickens can fly! Just not really well, usually. I think they can't be bothered if they're well fed.
chicken supreme
I concur with all reactions to my little horror story ... and yes, Breadmaster, they do fly, particularly if being chased or in a panic. I still haven't heard anything more, so I'm going to pop round this afternoon.
Best of cluck
Chalky] If they offer you a sandwich, beware of feathers!
snorgle] The longest recorded flight of a chicken was (apparently) 13 seconds. I'm very encouraged that the chicken could fly - it means it was not clipped and was probably kept free-range.
Amazed
Well, you learn something every day. When we had chickens they would sort of flutter up onto things like very low branches. I just can't imagine one getting up enough height and speed to crash into a window - although I can certainly imagine it getting up the requisite stupidity.
rab in eptitude shocker
Hmmm... this upgrade seems to have worked. You shouldn't notice many changes, except the tag tickler has now been installed for the benefit of Bad HTML devotees. Basically if you put some dodgy HTML in your 'stance', you get the option to 'debug' it, which basically means your HTML will be presented in a fairly easy-to-read fashion, with the grumbles flagged up as they occur. It's in its early stages - comments are welcome.

The HTML checker itself has been refined. In particular it treats quotes more sensibly (which should please Nik at least).

Oh - there's an experimental text-only theme which should kick in automatically if you use Netscape 4.7x, Lynx or Links (not been able to test Netscape). Those watching in colour can see it in action by clicking here. A nifty feature is that inline images are turned into clicky links. One day there'll be a proper link to this, and I'm hoping it might eventually form the basis of a version for mobile devices.

*has more features in pipeline, but only two days before school*

Plain theme
I like it -- now everyone with web-enabled PDAs has no excuse. :)
Plane Theme in glinks
It looks excellent in glinks (links -g) as well, so if I ever have to boot from my Damn Small Linux boot CD, it should look decent.
The chicken has landed ...
... but not sure if she'll survive the night. Will keep you posted.
chucks
Here is a link to a forum about chickens. It's quite interesting!
Henny news?
Chalky] Sounds as if she is in a bad way? :o(
Christmas Ted has gone and its not even twelfth night! Sacrilidge!
Christmas Ted
I'd only forget to take him down on Tuesday (or is it Monday?)...
Happy New Year and all that
Let's see what fine Crescenteering 2004 will bring...
Freakout
Chickens, eh? God, it all happens round at Chalky's, don't it? Happy New Year all!!
Another one comes around
[Thrax] Welcome back (again)!
chicken feed
Hello Thrax :-) Hope your visit isn't too brief.
Chicken: She seems quite subdued, but otherwise fine. Our sources inform us that she probably wandered off from her farm base [about half a mile from my brother's house], so I've telephoned and a chicken expert is coming round tomorrow to pick her up.
Oh ... thanks Bob, snorgle and everyone else who offered practical and moral support. I've learned a lot. As for the wicked sister-in-law, well ...
ISIHAC2
Apologies for x-posting. Following up the ISIHAC2 - 'This Time Its Unprofessional' pilg in May - ISP and Dunx have kindly offered to write the 'Humph' bits 'cos they can't be at the event. I already have a list of 14 MCers who want to attend or play and Projoy has very kindly agreed to be one of the 'humphs' for the evening. However, I need another. Two people now have suggested Martha Farqua. If you think you’d be good Martha, (or if anyone else has a good suggestion) please contact me. Ta!
what the...?
I deliberately didn't keep any shares in my portfolio over xmas, thinking I'd buy some fast-movers and shoot straight up the chart in the New Year - and whaddya know! Looks like all you conscientious types got kneecapped and slack tarts like me floated to the top... *cackle*.
Negativity
Enjoy it whilst it lasts e_e.:-)
The League Table has the collywobbles for some reason. e.g. I shows me with £6 and -99% wheras it should be just over £14,000 and 40-odd percent (I was kneecapped and so can tell. I think I was the only one zapped this week - although x_sugar babe_x must have come awfully close.)
Good to see you around and posting, Thrax. Are you able to stick around this time or just making a short visit?
Freakout
Much obliged, Chalkers and Doc. Hope you're well. My best wishes to all MCers at this time of year. edna, you talking Celebdaq? I tried me hand at that but failed miserably. I just don't follow Celebrity 'News' closely enough. I think I'm genetically programmed not to give a monkey's about J-Lo and Britney and Posh and Puffdaddy and Hugh Grunt and all those other deeply talented but criminally underpaid and overlooked, long-suffering, attention-starved, self-effacing, public servants who give so much and ask so little in return. Bless 'em.
Additional.
good to see you too, Dujon, old boy. I've no idea how long I'll be here, nor how often. I'll just play it by ear and see what transpires. It's good to see a few familiar faces though - or rather read some familiar names.
Felicitations
Happy new year everyone... and, just to show how long it's been since I last sat at a keyboard - I hope everyone has a merry Christmas too.
Humph!
Trying to find reasonably priced accomodation with a piano is not as easy as I'd expected. JLE - anyone - do you have an electric piano we could plug in?
by the by...disillusionment
*distraught* so...Bob...is your name not actually Bob? Now I don't know what to believe!
Oh yes, and my exam period *is* over May, so I doubt I can make it to the pilg-type-thing. Sorry! :*(
It's awful when your illusions are shattered, isn't it? Still, I'm quite good at baking, you'll be pleased to know.
My initials, sadly, are neither Z nor K. I should really go and do some work... :)
As previously discussed, I'm not even a man!
I picked up a print of Simon Patterson's The Great Bear for Christmas (see here: http://www.dareonline.org/artwork/patterson/patterson3.html), which would form the basis of a wonderfully surreal game of MC.
Sorry - still can't get the tags right for a hyperlink!
Freakout
I wouldn't panic, Korkers. I can't unfathom morethan about three HTML tags here. Even though the good Doctor Q enlightened me several months ago. I lost the list. Bummer.
Youngsters these days
UK]I like the idea, have a peek at "All Games", back in the early days of MC5 there was a game of the Great Bear unfortunately it took a while to find a map, and the link from Boolbar is still active.
Ivories
[BtD] I'm hoping to purchase an electric piano soon, but need to buy the house to put it in first!
Bobajob
ZK] Aw, and I thought you really believed I was a dog too! The likely dates are 22nd and 29th May. Will your exams over by then?
Come On Over
No, not a Shania Twain string starting, but a reminder there's an e-pilg tonight in the MCiOS chatroom. All welcome. No responsibility can be accepted etc etc
the morning after
For those who missed the MCiOS chatroom cyber pilg, you missed a corker. As my ex-wife will testify, eh Pen?
Disillusionment...
[Inkspot] Cheers! Well, another supposedly original idea bites the dust!
last night, she said...
[BobTD] *wink*
Grrr...
Missed that - was at the cinema. Was this a Britney-style union?
I definitely think a bottle of vladivar was involved...
cheering up Incle Korky
UK] Look in Orange MC - new game started yesterday :-)
Missmatchmaking
rab] Yes. I was married Las Vegas style to Pen and she divorced me within seconds. Chalky narrowly missed me on the rebound. Dr Q got hitched to a chicken, had kids and was haunted by the spirit of his undead hen bride seeking vengence for leaving him with the odd-looking kids. I hope your film was worth it...
Losing it.....
In the past week I've managed to embarrass myself in public twice. The first time I shoplifted by accident (but in the end paid for my error) and I fell asleep in the cinema last night and started making strange noises.... I think I need a therapist!
*Rejoices*
[Chalky] Wahoo!
Freakout
MC ad other ISIHaC games are the best therapy. Everyone knows that.
Apropos absolutely nothing
I had to laugh a couple of evenings ago; my good wife was leafing through some of the junk mail which had been 'posted' into the letter box since the start of the new year. Honestly, I couldn't believe it - one food based company was advertising hot cross buns!
Freakout
Better than some of the garbage the Labour party sends me through the post every Christmas. I get these lists of "useful numbers" - ie. services provided locally. It's all drugs helplines, domestic violence support groups, local police contacts, child abuse support services etc. etc. I was left thinking, "oh thanks, guys! And a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too." Never had anything like that at any previous address in which I've resided. Believe me, the first Christmas I spent here (in 2001) I wondered where the bloody hell I'd moved to. "For heaven's sake!" thought I, imagining I was in one of the safer and more stable parts of Swindon, but silly me, I had in fact failed to notice I'd moved to Harlem. Funny how one makes these little mistakes.
Eggs and chicks and fluffy things
[Duj] Wandering around Tesco at the weekend, I spotted shelves recently filled with chocolate creme eggs and ickle easter bunny things.
Chicken update: She's gone back home to the farm :-)
Freakout
Awww, I'm glad there was a heartwarming end to the chicken's adventure, Chalky. :)
Nob and nobility
Looks like Lord Hamilton's doing the rounds, so if you'll excuse me for a moment...
Edward de Bono
Normality, I think.
Latecomers
It looks as though the ball has reached some sort of lull, so there could be an opening for something new...
Headlines?
We haven't had a Daily Mail Headlines game in a while...except it'd look a lot like Mini Cheddars, tho.
Hi Q Haiku [a poor attempt at a play on words]
[DrQ] I'm up for that.
An alternative suggestion ... as both the other MC sites each have a pair of 'poetry' games - why not a Haiku game?
Hi, Coo!
I second Chalky's idea.
Gaaah!
Unfortunately, the late arrivals won't stop coming in!
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord