mc5 - The Banter Page

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The Banter Page

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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.

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We could talk about Wimbledon. I will start the ball rolling by saying that is a pleasant SW London suburb, and in places rather expensive. The common is a useful place for a wee on the way home in the car though you may have to watch your back. The local football club won the FA Cup in 1988, to the delight of many.

Can I add that it has two tube stations and is in the London Borough of Merton.

I once saw Annette Crosbie at Wimbledon station. I can also add that Wimbledon Park is a very pleasant area and popular with dog-walkers.

It is also an excellent safety move if you are half-splined and have nothing but green tokens.

I've been through it on the train but never stopped there. It gave me the impression of looking quite green.

[Rosie] BTW, I trust you actually stop the car.

I'm making him meet the rest of my family this weekend. That means he will have met BOTH sisters (including the one with a pied-a-terre in Wimbledon, to stay on topic) and my mother. And the most ditsy of my nieces.

Old men and their bladders

(Projoy) Not only that but I get out of it. Brentford to Warlingham (22 miles, 50 mins) is just a little too far after the maximum breathalyser-passing dose of Fuller's London Pride (2½ pints).

The local football club

Is that the club which is now local to Milton Keynes?

(ISP) It is. May it fail in all possible ways for having abandoned its (rather modest) south London fanbase.

You drive 22 miles to drink London Pride?

(Phil) Er, well, not really, but it's there so I have it. I play from time to time in a small swing band. The leader is a Croydon Tram nerd but otherwise quite normal and all the group's CDs have a picture of a tram in some part of the country on the front. It makes my interest in steam locos seem positively mainstream, just like my preferred type of jazz.

[Rosie] Ah, I see. I used to walk 25 minutes to my local most days, even though there were about 20 pubs closer. It's a crappy trendy bar now though. But these days I only have to go downstairs for the best pub in town :-)

What does that have to do with Wimbledon?

Wimbledon

When I'm in London, I usually stay with my Wimbledonian friends. It's a very nice area indeed, and quick to get to from Waterloo.

Friends in Wimbledon

[Néa] How is Great Uncle Bulgaria? He must be getting on a bit by now.

(Phil) Pity that town is over 100 miles away. I drive 7 miles to my "local" (Greyhound, Carshalton). This limits the intake but I don't want a skinful these days.

*waves from Genoa*

[rab] The aquarium's quite impressive - but make sure you go to the right one, there are two. Don't go to the one which is so old it still has trilobites swimming around.

Baking cake

Happy Birthday pen!

Genoa

Is it not the fashion there to stand on street corners and say "wubble" to passers-by?

Sorry rab, I'm in the process of going through my "Black Adder" dvds and I couldn't resist it.

Genoa? No I've never seen her before in my life.

[SM] Don't forget to pin a live frog to the shoulder blade!
[pen] Happy Birthday!

Genoa

<pedant> A quick internet search reveals that the fashion is to stand on a bucket...</pedant>

Blackadder DVDs

[Sierra Mike] I shall invest in those same DVDs. I saw the full set for 18 Euros (twelve quid) in MediaMarkt and am kicking myself that I didn't snap them up.

Pretty Genovese

<superpedant>I think it was also the shoulder braid and one says "bibble", not "wubble".</superpedant>

Genova

[Projoy] You wouldn't let it lie, would you.

[Projoy]Personally, I always thought it was "wibble".

older

Thanks for the birthday wishes. Had a lovely time getting lost in Wiltshire and Somerset with the Dutch Miller, who booked us a romantic night away and bought me dinner. He has now gone back, but left his own clogs on my back doorstep, next to mine. I think it's a sign.

or, if not...

Or if not a sign, a new euphemism: 'Leaving ones clogs on the back doorstep'. A new game, perhaps?

Wibble Wobble

[Knobbly] You're confusing your Blackadders. 'Wibble' should be said with your underpants on your head and a couple of pencils up your nose.

(pen) I hope he hasn't been, er, well, sort of Emptying His Raingauge.

[penelope] He popped his clogs on your back doorstep? What a shame, he sounded like such a nice bloke. My sympathy is with you m'dear.

[pen] Has he left a message in them?

cloggery

[Duj] I sniggered at your black joke, and reminded myself to make sure he has plenty of life insurance.

[Darren] No, the message *is* the clogs, i.e. "I'll be back". I've just booked another flight to go over there for ten days later this month :oD

[Rosie] I suppose we could calibrate the empty clogs on the back door step to become raingauges...

Further cloggery

(pen) Have you heard of the Cloggies, a cartoon strip of yesteryear, by Bill Tidy? They were a clog-dancing group from a northern industrial town. They won their competitions by assault which normally consisted of co-ordinated knees to the goolies of their opponents. One of their members was The Blagdon Amateur Rapist, a middle-aged man who wore nothing but shoes, socks and a tie and humped anything that moved. Let none of this distasteful nonsense detract you from your burgeoning romance.

*waves from Erice, Sicily*

[rab] You still on honeymoon? You seem to have been there for ages.

Euphemism Monday

I was going to tell you I'd just cut down a bush, then remembered what a euphemistically-inclined lot you were and decided against it.

Nah, tis conference season.

Conferentation

[rab] Just think of the happy days to come when digital technology will make it possible to meet with colleagues without having to leave Edinburgh, and reduce your carbon footprint considerably. Why, I bet you're dreaming of it as I type.

I'd love a conference right now. It's freezing here.

[Projoy] With the advent of wireless internet access these days, you have this odd situation where everyone gathers together in a room in an exotic location reading their email during the talks. Very odd.

cut-down-a-bush

[pen] Choose your response:
1. Yikes! The Department of Homeland Security might conside that a threat.
2. Bikini line, is it?

the lesser of two weevils

[IS,P!] I don't like either !
In other news, I'm just getting ready for a camping trip this weekend, whilst keeping an eye on the torrential rain out there... yikes!

camping

[penelope] Will you be taking the klompen? Are you worried this inclement weather will cause dry rot in the instep?

de-camping

Bottled out of camping in the end. Drove home 120 miles after the party. Got home at 4am. It was getting light and STILL RAINING

(pen) V. sensible, but be grateful for small mercies. It didn't get light here until midday on Friday.

more news

Had one (preliminary) interview today, I have another interview tomorrow, then flying to the Netherlands on Saturday with two recruitment agency interviews in Rotterdam next Friday, and possibly another interview back here on Wednesday 8th. This might have something to do with the fact that I still haven't decided where I want to live, or what I want to do.

Gadding About

penelope, you are running around like a teenager. I heartily approve. Luck.

Yeah, it sounds like the same kind of exercise as trying to get a university place through clearing when you don't have quite the right qualifications for the thing you REALLY want to do, but you *could* go to somewhere else to do part of it and work it around a bit. :o(
BTW, does anyone know how Liz got on during her first day in the new job?

Clearing

I trust that refered to the job hunt and not the Man Waiting in Rotterdam?

Furthermore

[penelope] What is it that you really want to do? If you need a "holdover job" that doesn't fit the bill, keep looking while you work, knowing you can quit when you get the perfect offer (unlike university). I can't belive that for someone as obviously mobile as you are, the right job isn't out there somewhere, or will be soon.

[SM] You're right. The job hunt. I went to see 2 recruitment companies in Rotterdam this morning, and they both seem to think I can find a decent job here, doing PR/Marketing/Editing stuff. I'm sitting at the Man's desk in Rotterdam right now, while he's in a meeting, and inventing a letter of application for one of the vacancies that one of the agencies seemed to think was up my straat.

(pen) Do you need to speak reasonable Dutch to get a job in Rotterdam? I know they can nearly all speak English, but even so it must help.

*waves from Newport News*

Hello, very hot here. We've just been for a swim in the hotel pool. Many prohibitions, as is usual, but one is the bizarrest I've ever seen: "No breath-holding".

Breath

[rab]:o) Good advice, too, if one reads it in the context of "while waiting for income tax to be repealed", I think.

Good News

Please excuse this interruption, but Dunx has had some good news. When you get a chance, you might like to visit the OMC chat game and see what's what.

[rab] As you perhaps know, the sign probably means that you are not allowed to do this.

All very good, though the pool in question was only 90cm deep at the shallow end. And I now have a grazed knee to prove it. Ouch.

(rab) That's three feet, isn't it? Just trying to visualise it. Sod metric.

A sod metric is 1 metre square, usually covered in grass or some other forage plant. In other news, I've got a job offer, less than I wanted, and I have to move house. But I have another interview this afternoon for a BIG job, on an international scale. I have no idea what will happen next.

Interesting developments

[penelope] Luckily time marches on, so you will find out what happens next, precisely as it happens.

30 Sods Metric (about the size of my back garden)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. I *think* this afternoon's interview went well. The second interviews are next week, which is when they'll give me personality tests to check I'm a loony, and make me do Sudoku maths tests (it's a Japanese company). In the meantime, I am holding off deciding about the other job offer I *do* have, and as all I have is an indication of a verbal offer from the recruitment agency, I think I'm safe so far. Sorry for blurting all of this out at you lot; you can expect more over the next few days.

The Stupid Internet Freebie Culture

I wanted to say "think nothing of it" in Japanese to penelope in order to appear clever, so I put the phrase into Babelfish and got back what was possibly accurate but entirely unuseable chickenscratch kanji (which I cannot read). I then went to the last, best hope for mankind, the Wikipedia, where I was confronted by paragraphs of "how to read kanji" (a bit of a puzzler given the assurances on the same page that kanji was so disorganised it would take years to learn even to a low standard of comprehension) and some phonetically spelled-out phrases, which was what I was after. They didn't include the phrase I was looking for, so I googled on "japanese phrase" and was directed to a couple of different sites. When these things finally loaded, they proved on close inspection to be nothing more than wrappers for the original wikipedia material.

It would appear that significant parts of the internet are actually just wrapping other people's stuff, which in all likelyhood is wrapping other people's stuff and so on and so forth. I wonder how much original material is actually out there? (This posting originally appeared in The Saturday Evening Post, Christmas 1954 edition)

developments

I've accepted the other job. The fickleness of women, etc etc... Now to move house, Before mid-September. Aaargh.

[pen] Not the big international job then?

International woman of mystery?

Personality tests to check I'm a loony

[pen] shurely to check you're not a loony...?

No, not the big international job. I thought hard about it, and chose the job that I thought would make me happy, rather than the pretigious and glitzy one. It's back in Lincs (closer to my mum etc), working in conservation (I think ten years is long enough in the auto industry) with plenty of chance to progress, and they really want me to work there. The other one would be all hassle, and it would be more difficult to have time with the windy miller.
They check to what degree you are a loony... don't they?
Can I just recommend mint tea with honey? Mint leaves, boiling water and a smidgin of honey. Especially in hot weather. Serve it in a glass, not a mug.

just catching up...

[pen] Wow! All the very best in your new job! Ah, moving house, fun for everyone. *sends good wishes*

[penelope] And what better revenge on your previous boss than to be able to target his/her gas-guzzling rustbuckets as part of your new job in a quest for greenness? Congratulations.

I can't be bothered with revenge! Anyway, thanks to flerdle and everyone for the congratulations - I think I've found a tiny (and I mean TINY) bungalow to rent and am just wondering which bits of furniture I have to discard in order to live in it.

Help

Apologies for cross posting: Am I remembering correctly that someone in the Morniverse is involved in, or knows someone who is involved in, dealing with 419 email scams? We have a student who has been taken in and may possibly need some advice?

Congrats

Well done pen! Lincs and Holland both as flat as each other, as far as I remember. What sort of conservation?

flattery

[IS,P!] The Woodland Trust. Woodlands and general boskiness. :o)

Networking?

[Pen] Oooh, you don't happen to know the best way for a biology graduate to find a job in conservation do you? I know it's very popular and rather hard to break into so I'm looking for a handy crowbar (to clumsily extend the 'breaking into' analogy).

and to boldly split infinitives...

[Knobbers] Voluntary work, to start, I guess; at least that way you get some experience, make some connections and get the chance to work in lots of different environments to find out which one you like. Maybe try the National Trust website and look at their working holidays - and those of other conservation trusts too. I started doing the NT ones about six years ago, then I was put forward to do the NT project leader course. In the meantime, find a job not too far off the subject - water, effluent or district councils? I'm a biograduate too - it took me 20 years to get this job, but then I'm going into their press office, not into the muddy end. I did labwork, odd jobs and newspapers for 10 years, then another 10 years or so in the automotive industry doing PR. Good luck!

jobs

I think Society Guardian is probably the best place.

Hmm... ok, thanks; I'll look into them. I hadn't actually thought of the NT.

Whinge about packing up the house

Whinge, whinge whinge... how come I have so much STUFF? Where does it all come from? I'm listing more stuff on Ebay every day, but actually throwing things away is really hard!

bargainous!

Woo-hoo! Just took advantage of a very quiet day on Ebay to bag myself a double-oven, ceramic hob cooker for about 70% of the price they normally go for. Here's to bank holidays at home doing something useful!

[pen] I think your second posting answers the question in your first.

pfffft

I know it *looks* like a cupboard, but otherwise I wouldn't have a cooker...

May I share my joy?

My little beer festival over the weekend was a huge success - so much so that we ran out of the festival beers yesterday at about 3pm. I totted up the empties this morning and we've sold 617 gallons of draught beer in the last 7 days (including lagers, cider and Guinness). That's a pint every 52 seconds of opening hours.

Yes, you may

Excellent news. Beer festivals are always to be celebrated...

drink up!

Well done Phil. When I get to Grantham (which will be on Tuesday, removals men willing), I won't be too far away. so I'll find a free weekend with the windy miller and bring him over so we can try your beers. In the meantime, I am well and truly boxed in. The house is echoing now. Yuk. And I still have to defrost the freezer.

Back to being a yellerbelly

I'm in! I've moved! Now just to get the cooker wired in, the boiler working, the TV connected... and the room full of too much stuff disposed of. Not to mention disposing of the 3-seater settee sitting out under the carport because it won't actually fit into the house :o( Does anyone want a second-hand Ikea 'Karlanda' three-seated sofabed, with paprika-red thick cotton 'Gobo' covers, which have just been laundered?

Setee

[penelope] Won't the back come off the setee? That can help get it through narrow spaces. There is sometimes a release mechanism or little thumb-wheel thingies hidden behind the setee under a velcro-secured fabric flap at the join of the back and seat. Fingers crossed.

I Kan't Envisage Amputation

erm... it's an Ikea one. They expect people to live in loft apartments with industrial lifts, not twee bungalows with narrow corridors :o( I'm going to flog it and buy a smaller one instead.

Smaller bungalow or sofabed? ;-)
More helpfully, one like yours (I think) went for £84 on eBay yesterday - link

*waves from Saarbrücken*

Hmmm. I have a feeling I've been here before.

Apologies for my extended absence. I try and make sure that nothing untoward is going on, but if there are any infelicities then please do e-prod me and I'll do my best to help.

Hmm, actually, it's a bit depressing that this hotel's free wireless connection is better than the one I have at home.

(Though, to be fair, it couldn't currently be worse than the wireless connection at home since the wireless box has gone kaputto. One of the things to do when I get back - apart from learn to drive - is to upgrade the broadband which should come free with a new wireless box.)

[Phil] Cheers! I've been looking for them on Ebay to see how much I can expect to get. It's the same settee (different colour), but mine has a full-size double bed cannily concealed within it. And very comfortable it is too.

I'll second that.

Woohoo pen! Moving can be lots of not-fun, so yay that you're (mostly) set up now. *raises glass to new house and new job*

Staying put

[flerdle] Thanks! :o) It just goes on and on - I think I've emptied more than half of it now. But it's a bit miserable doing it on my own - the windy miller has made his way back to the Netherlands already. I would recommend everyone had one of these to help if they were moving house, but I suspect if he was thinking of dumping me, then the disgusting mess I found under the sofa and the fridge would be reason enough to do so. He's gone back now, he says because of his TV appearance on their version of 'Restoration' to campaign for the restoration of a mill, and it was nothing to do with my poor housekeeping. His clogs are still in the hall - I think that's a good sign.

sorry, me again

Day 1 of new job. All well. Phone not yet working.

Incommunicado

(pen) That's the best kind of job - one where you aren't distracted the phone. It's as bad as having customers in the shop or passengers on the train. Bloody nuisance. Keep it that way. :-)

Winter is upon us

[pen] Good luck with the new job. Are all the boxes unpacked from the move?
Yesterday we had calls in our office for the heating to be turned on, then this morning it was so dark had to have the lights on to eat my cornflakes.

Sofa so good

Cheers, inkers. Boxes - not all unpacked. Sofa - too big to fit in house, but sold successfully on Ebay on Sunday night and collected on Monday. Job - fine. Phone on desk - not working! Winter - a-coming!

Shhhh!

It's a bit quiet in here, innit? Did anyone get 'tornados' this morning? There was a terrifically powerful squall over Grantham, but I'm not sure it could be called a tornado.

[pen] Downpour this morning, bright sunshine midday. Yesterday the 5-day forecast began with 3 days of sun.

The Tempest

(pen) Probably what is technically termed a "line-squall", i.e. a very sharp and active cold front. There may have been some minor tornadoes here and there but the term is bandied about rather too freely these days and you need really good evidence of a twisting motion before you can definitely claim a tornado. It seems that any damage was mostly caused by a straightforward heavy blast from the west as the cold front went through. You don't need a tornado or even a particularly gusty wind to take the roof off a house or blow a large tree down. Sheer wind speed will do it.

[Rosie] I'll settle for the 'line squall' then. And can someone please do something about the icecream van that toots The Liberty Bell (Monty Python's theme tune) every evening so it reverberates around? It's fixing itself into my subconscious, and I don't want it there!

[pen] Here, have a round or two of Greensleeves.

[pen] round here it's Colonel Bogie on the icecream van that tours the council estates. Just as irritating, I keep thinking of inscrutible Japanese and prisoners of war.

Mr Whippy

We usually have "Popeye the sailor man". Could be a lot worse. There is a cheerful trad jazz number called Ice Cream (You scream) but few know it so it wouldn't do. I'd like to hear the first few bars of the allegro con brio from Beethoven's Pathétique sonata. Daaaaaa, da da da da da dat da, da da da da da daa daa daa daa daa daa daa daa . . . . .

The ideal ice cream jingle would be John Cage's 4'33".

ice cream culture

I knew my throw-away remark about ice cream jangles would draw you lot out of the woodwork. Rosie's 'Ice Cream, You Scream' mention reminds me of a scene in Jim Jarmusch's 'Down By Law', which I saw as an Italian import, titled 'Daunbailo' and subtitled in Italian. (It's a phonetic version of the title, spelled as it would be pronounced if an Italian were to read it.)The story of three men in a Louisiana prison who, at one point, start the 'I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream' chant around the prison. Ho hum.

(pen) The very words of the jazz number, which probably originated in Louisiana, in New Orleans.

[pen] I saw that film late one night, and have been wondering ever since what it was! Thank you!

[Phil] You're welcome. Any other unidentified objects to be named?
And now, Monday. A new week, a new month. I'm currently avoiding my writer's block by posting here.

Jolly good

We went on a day trip to Stirling, and the train took us past the building that this is hosted in. Which made me think of checking in to make sure it was still all working.

[rab] You know where your website is physically located? How do you do that?

[pen] Identifying objects: a film I saw a bit of when I was a kid which includes a scene of a man breaking down and crying "choo choo! choo choo!" which I believe referred to some big computer or other. What's it called?

[SM] Mostly cos Dan told me! But the hosting company website also gives this information...

trains of thought

[Darren] no idea. Next!

Waves from East Jerusalem!

How is everyone doing? Welcome to the new place and the new job Pen. Well done Phil on hosting a one-armed beer festival. Most of my MC contact these days has been with JLE through Kingdom of Loathing. Shows where my priorities lie! Oh well, wth. [Darren] Was it "fuctifino"?

[SM] I know where mine's located because I carried it there tucked under my arm. Anyway, it's not that unusual to choose a host at least in part based on location. A lot of people are hosting in Telehouse in the Docklands, so they'd know when they were passing by their server as well.

[Dan] You own the equipment this site is hosted on? I thought hosting companies used banks of their own hardware and we all sort of shared the pool of machines in some way.

[Dan] No sooner did I post that than I realised that you could own the hosting company, or be employed by it. Sorry to miss the obvious.

[SM] No, I just have a colocated machine in a datacenter. Colocation is when you provide the hardware and put it in someone else's facility and let them worry about bandwidth. And it doesn't host this site, it hosts that other one over there somewhere (gestures vaguely in a westerly direction). As far as this (rab's) site is concerned, when he was looking for a provider I just pointed out that there was one in the Edinburgh area that looked suitable.

[Dan] I had no idea that was one of the options available. Thank you for explaining it.

*burp*

OOps. Pardon me. I visited the East Midlands Regional Food Festival today, and watched Jean-Christophe Novelli charming the pants off all the middle-aged ladies in the audience of the demo hall. I tasted my way around three massive halls of food from local producers, and bought some cheese, some potted shrimps and a teatowel for my sister.

Comestibles

[penelope] The shrimp and cheese sound reasonable. I'm not too sure about the teatowel though as it's new to me. What is it and how does it taste - a dry Czech perhaps?

(pen) I hope you re-donned your underwear. *runs away*

Tsk Tsk! Had a Frenchman before. The accent does nothing for me now. Got a Dutchman instead ;o)

[Rosie] L M F A O. I'm not sure pen got it...

getting it...

I chose to ignore it :oP

Glad to hear you're getting it, penelope.

*issues a 'Stop Digging' order*

10/10

Traditionally, this day of the year has been my birthday, but thanks to the sterling efforts of the Royal Mail I can postpone the next tick of the clock to, oh, probably some time towards the end of the month by the look of it.

Actually - I'm going to pretend it's my 17th and will start taking driving lessons soon.

Many Happy Re-deliveries

[Rab]Have a bonzer day, mate.

alive

Hello all, now that I've finished my degree and have a proper job I'm intending to be on here a little more. How long will it last this time? A nation asks.

[rab] MHR's to you :-)
I believe the cost of driving lessons nowadays requires considerable financial planning. How about this sort of thing to get you going?

(Chalky) Got me going all right 'cos the link don't work. Not on this old tub, any road up.

Try stripping off the bit that goes "rab.org.uk/mc". It still wouldn't load for me, but I'm in a weird location at the moment.

I've fixed it. (Hmm, I thought my auto-link-repairer was supposed to spot things like that).

John Kettley is a Weatherman

So, how's the weather where you are?

wevvah

Beautiful morning in London today - sun rising through the autumnal mist as I crossed Blackfriars bridge, people stopping to take photographs, or just look at it. Positively Turneresque.

So, nothing new there then...

Hot. Humid.

[nights] So where are you now? You said somewhere you have moved countries, right?

[CdM] Strasbourg, France. I was made an offer I couldn't refuse - namely a lecteur's job and a four figure monthly salary. I teach speaking and listening in English to first-year undergraduates, and I rather enjoy it. The weather, on the other hand, can't make up its mind between autumn and a very late Indian Summer.

ahem

(nights) Indian summers, so-called, take place in autumn by definition.

october in hyderabad

[Rosie] Yeess... but I thought it was somewhat late for that. I stand, or rather sit, corrected.

(nights) I'm not totally certain where the term Indian Summer comes from. It may actually be India (from the Raj days) or it may be connected with American Indians. Google has all sorts of theories. Having been a meteorologist, albeit some time ago, I shouldn't have to look it up, of course. It's a bit like a doctor Googling "appendix" and then saying to himself "oh, it's that bit, is it?"

An American Indian summer is very unlikely. The Raj hypothesis is a lot more sensible.. I remember reading the phrase in a PG Wodehouse book, which dates it somewhat, and tends to place it in a Raj-like context rather than an Amercian context.

[Rosie] That's OK. I had a moment in class today where I was explaining about transitive and intransitive verbs, completely forgot which way round they are, and made it up instead. I should know things like that, I'm a bloody linguist.

transitiveness

(nights) Made it up? Hey, that's jazz, as we say after a string of bum notes. There is a tendency, which is currently going a bit too far, to use transitive verbs where an intransitive one should be used, eg "the temperature is reducing". Reducing what? People to perspiring lethargy? On the other hand we chemists have always talked about reacting A and B to produce something, meaning causing A and B to react (by putting them in a flask together and heating them, for example). Do other languages have this ~~flexibility~~ laxity?

(SM) Maybe not an "American Indian" summer but certainly an American "Indian summer" as it seems the phrase is well-established in the US where, according to Wikipaedia, it has the rather precise meaning of an unseasonably warm spell that takes place after the first ground frost of autumn. But it's possible they got it from the Raj, via us.

Linguistic flexibility

[Rosie] In our (italophone) house we just use whichever verb comes to mind and conjugate it appropriately (laziness on my part which my wife has caught). This leads to some hilarity but mainly exasperation of the shit-we-must-cure-ourselves-before-kids-come-along variety.

Rereading that it's not as clear as I had hoped. I mean if I can't be bothered to trawl my mind for the Italian verb I just stick the English one in and slap -are on the end.

[Rosie] "Laxity" is a pretty mild word for you to use in this context, Rosie; most unlike you. :-) I thought you devastated much more about this kind of thing.

I'd always assumed Indian summer was a U.S. phrase, simply because I don't ever remember hearing it before I moved to the U.S. (many summers, Indian and not, have passed since then).

On the other hand, Rosie, I'm not sure you should trust your chosen source too much.

(CdM) Cruvvens, mon, I insult at such a suggestion! Too right I devastate. My Morniverse-cred shreds and my confidence erodes. Needless to say I emote. *throws up*. Phew, that's better. "Indian Summer" was around when I was a small child and I wondered what people were on about. (ISP) You can do that in Welsh. Just stick -io on the end and you've verbed it, or wedi ei berfio as one would say. ( = "after its verbing"). Berf = verb but berfio is not in the dictionary.

[Rosie] I've noticed that as well. Of course, it might be that now that my contact with English is limited, things that seem "wrong" are thrown into sharper relief. Or I might just be being a bit nit picky, as I'm used to weeding through my student's work with a fine toothed comb. Yes, this paragraph is designed to put your teeth on edge.

[IS,P!] I'm glad I'm not the only one that does that. At a party this evening, we had "smoker", "lighter" and "jazzer up" - all standard -er verbs that conjugate as expected. "jazzer up", we decided, takes être in the perfect though.

(nights) Disgraceful. You could have Frenchified it a bit into enjazzer or something, still with être in the perfect of course. Don't forget the past participle is enjazzu. (It's irregular). You couldn't do that in Welsh; no j's, no z's. In fact many North Walians simply can't make the "z" sound, so that precision rhymes with fission. But they can do the double-L, of course. *gloat*.

'double-L' as in Llandrover, Llambs and Llight Rain... ;o)

Ah, memories of Max Boyce pronouncing Dallas with a Welsh double-l sound :-)

[Rosie] Hold on, past participle enjazzU? Not possible, my old chum, even if it is irregular. -er verbs NEVER form pp's that way, it's just not the done thing.

entendu

(nights) I thought not, but it was worth a try. How can we make enjazzer more interesting? Wouldn't enjazzir have some linguistic legitimacy? (pen, Phil) I am always tickled by Llanera, the sponsors of Charlton FC. Google says it's some dismal Spanish holiday-home construction company, but in fact it's a small village in Wales. In English it would be rendered as St Era's, or (more likely) St Gera's.

[nights] if it were jazzre, then jazzu would be logical.

(Phil) You're right, but can you say jazzre without spilling your pint? Difficult.
re - Llanera; I've just re-read my last post and it looks all too plausible. But don't look for Llanera; it ain't there.

[Phil, Rosie] Indeed it would be. Jazzre is a bit clumsy though, and sticks in the throat. I prefer jazzer, myself, as enjazzir reminds me of a slightly dirty word in French which I'd rather avoid. I promise not to bring up French again.

forrin lingos

(nights) If you stop talking about French I'll have to stop yakking on about Welsh, and that would never do.

bringing up French

Enspew?

[Rosie] Perhaps this is the wrong moment to bring up Russian, then?

(nights) Nice one, Cyril.

Good ol' Cyril. On another topic, who's excited about Christmas?

Oh don't

[nights] I just saw my first xmas ads on telly tonight but I'm not entirely blameless. I've booked a cottage on the west coast of Scotland for xmas, and I was looking for a butcher in Oban so I could order a duck for xmas dinner, to collect on xmas eve :op

(nights) Not these days, the politest response I can find. There will be no snow in this part of the world, something I realised by about 1954. Actually, there was snow on the ground in 1981, but normally it just rains.

I was only asking because the Christmas ads have yet to start here, and it's nice to not approach November with tinsel already becoming a chore rather than a delight. On the other hand, I HAVE just booked my flights back to the UK to see the family, so it's partially just me projecting.

In business terms, I am excited about Christmas this year, especially as I have all my events and entertainment booked and confirmed already. On a personal level, only one Christmas Day stands out as being better than any given Sunday - 2002. That was the year I joined a brass band and we played carols on every ward of the two hospitals in the town on Christmas morning. Everyone else got stressed at home while I was out, and they'd all calmed down again by the time I got back :-)

We're hoping to have our first Christmas a deux. I'm wondering about whether to go out for a curry for lunch. We like curries, and are rather hoping that non-Christian restaurateurs won't think that they have any reason to close on the big day.

Curry for lunch

My brother and his family invariably go out for Xmas lunch, and curry is frequently on the menu. I would not have any worries if I were you as to the willingness of restarauteurs in general to open on Xmas day, but make sure you BOOK FIRST! We're off to Italy again this year 'cos our friends are getting married on 22 Dec and no point doing Bxl-Trn-Man in the space of three days. A sad one this year as my Gran-in-law (if such be possible) snuffed it earlier this year so the famous Xmas agnolotti will be less tasty than memory makes them.

*prays for snow in the mountains*

Frost! We finally had a frost last night! Good job I brought the geraniums in...

No such excitement here. Although it's awfully cold outside.

Great steaming lumps - Christmas talk already? I'm surprised at you all. Still, it's better than Big Brother.
To engender conversation: "How is everyone?"

I'm well thank you, despite an inner dialogue at 6.30 this morning which ran thusly:
Nights, are you awake?
Yes..urgh...mumble... what time is it?
6.30.
Can't be. I'd be panicking that I'm going to be late if it was 6.30. (rolls over to face alarm clock.
Erm...
OH MY GOD IT'S 6.30 MY BUS LEAVES IN 20 MINUTES! WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?

wakey uppy

I'm currently experiencing the regular phenomenon of waking up thirty seconds before the first of my three alarm clocks goes off. What's going on there then? (All very prompt, except this morning, I made a cup of tea and took it back to bed).

Tea in Bed

[penelope] Do they still have those "Teasmade" ("Teasmaid"?) machines that compine an alarm clock with a cunning kettle/teapot arrangement? If only they had figured out how to keep the milk cold (other than by making the houses so expensive to heat) at the same time the idea would have been a 10/10 perfect one, but it was pretty good even so.

Premonition

(pen) One of your alarm clocks may make a little click or sound before it actually goes off and it could be this that wakes you. Or you are sleeping-the-sleep-of-the-extremely-desirous-to-get-to-work-in-time because of your new job.

[SM] Actually, I've had one of those "screech in your ear, make you a cuppa" devices for over 10 years now. I call it a "wife".

bedburps

[Rosie] Come to think of it, it might be the central heating that wakes me.
[Phil] *gasp!* although the windy miller does have the same effect, but through a nicer process.

Teasmade

I must get one of those. One of these days I'm going to set the flat on fire putting the kettle on at 6am when I'm not completely awake.

(pen, reply to Phil) That sort of thing usually makes me want to sleep rather soundly.

[Rosie] I mean he makes me tea, but doesn't do the screeching. What were you imagining?

(pen) Well, now . . . .

Has everyone given up playing AVMA, then? I'm off on hols in a couple of days. Hoping someone will guess my clue before that...

I could never get the hang of AVMA. Too complex for me, I think. Similar to how I don't get involved in those difficult poetry games over on Orange.

Morning chaps. Despite it feeling like it's too early to be up on a Saturday, I'm quite cheery. I'm going to help plant 1,500 trees today, then I'll brush off the mud and catch a plane this evening to see the windy miller. The tree-planting could be thought of as carbon offsetting against the flight, but truthfully it's just part of my job now :oD

[Muddy Boots] Sounds like a marvellous way of spending a Saturday to me. I, however, have been running errands in Strasbourg, which has more people in it today than I've ever seen. I'm now killing time waiting for a friend and have a cracking headache. This is a marvellous city - the people that inhabit it, sometimes, are not.

Daylight saving just started here. I don't mind it, really, although it does feel a bit strange to be eating the evening meal in broad daylight. Having spent most of my life in the tropics and subtropics, it just feels wrong.

[nights] I don't know if you like swimming, but if you do you should go to the old swimming pool in Strasbourg some time. Not that it is a great place for serious swimming, but it is quite charming.

Trunks

Funny you should say that, I use the roman baths upstairs on and off. Not been swimming though, mainly because I can't. I do love the building though - very grand, sweeping marble staircases, and it's owned by the council. A far cry from Bath Sports and Leisure Centre.

winning windy millers

One of the Dutch Miller's windmill restoration projects won the Nederlands' version of the 'Restoration' TV programme last night. I've just watched the finale on the web, and have seen my bloke holding a cheque for €1,000,000. Is it the right time to propose?

I'd say so. A fat wad of used oncers, a possible deal to star in the upcoming Pimp My Windmill reality TV show and a reason to wear wooden shoes? Jump!

[penelope] How's the new house working out?

[SM] Cosy but messy. I've been there two months and haven't spent a weekend there yet.

[pen] If you don't propose, I will :)

[nights] That's very sweet of you but I couldn't possibly. I think I'm twice your age.

Weekend plans?

I leave Jerusalem at midday tomorrow for a flight back to Brussels. Fingers crossed security at Ben Gurion isn't too much of a pain and I catch my flight. I have a diplomatic 'laissez-passer' but given that it's written in Hebrew it could say 'your mother does it with you for money' or 'call Shin Bet, this guy's a terrorist'for all I know. If you don't hear from me for a few months, you know where I am.

Brussels

And just taking this opportunity to plug My show in Brussels 22-25 November again. Particularly convenient for all known Dutch windmills. And with a cheque for a million Euros you can afford a couple of 20 Euro tickets... I say "my show" but everyone else has been rehearsing properly, whereas I have just been singing on my own with the CD/iPod, so god alone knows how I'm going to sound at rehearsal on Sunday.

[pen] The lady doth protest too much. Besides how do you know how old I am?

interrupting pennylope and nightses convo

[nights] One can tell by the cut of your jib. Relax. It's a girl thing.

Carbon dating

(Chalky) Not just a girl thing, but I wouldn't deny they're better at it.

Constant flirtation

Very well. I grieve a missed opportunity, but I think Mlle Nights is probably going to kill me if she gets wind of all of this.

[nights] pen & Chalky are certainly the experts. They've been looking after me for years ;)

Quick question: What would you do about over-amorous neighbours? I'm pleased they're having a good time, but they're having it rather loundly.

[nights] Compete.

Trans-mural legovers

(nights) If my experience is anything to go by the activity is self-limiting. I used to briefly hear them nextdoor and sniggered to myself about the rabbit-like duration the process occupied in their case. As a result of this they have two delightful kids whose needs leave them bereft of libido. So the answer is: Nick their French Letters, or whatever they call them over there.

[nights] Record their sessions and set up a web site selling them?

[Pen] That's what Mlle Nights suggested. Plans are afoot.
[Rosie] I believe they're just known as letters here.
[Raak] Erm... probably not a market for it.

]nights] Break into their apartment and put local anaesthetic in the baby oil?

Break into their apartment and set up the recording equipment. You'll make tens of quid.

[nights] I'd suggest registering loudsex.com, but it's taken already.

[Raak] You're the second person today to direct me there. I might have to start reading it full time.

Breaking the lull, is anyone doing anything good this weekend? I've just had my first *proper* lie-in in my new house. Yum. Now... housework. And maybe shopping for a washing machine.

I'm driving to Canberra, again. It's a three week stint there this time. The rest of the weekend has been filled with trying to get my computer to work. The computer that all my experiments etc have been done on, over the last three years. The one I need in Canberra. The one that didn't turn on on Thursday.

I'm going to rest AND take moderate exercise AND take anti-inflammatories AND just make do with paracetemol AND try not to carry anything AND carry on as normal. That way I'll have followed all the advice for dealing with lower back pain.
How did I do that? In the hotel gym, probably the rowing machine. This exercise is no good for me.

argh!

[flerdle] argh!

le weekend

Housework, cinema last night, lie in this morning, laundry and now a bit of marking I forgot to do on Friday. I've had worse weekends.

Prudence

Having been feeling that I wasn't using my mobile phone enough to justify the monthly outlay, I called up the operator who offered to reduce the rental fee to £0 a month with still enough minutes and texts included to cover my typical usage. I'll believe this when the first bill comes through...

launderette

The washing machine arrives on Wednesday. No more hand washing, hurrah!

Goodness me!

[rab] How did you manage this, which operator, and what is their number?

Junk

[rab] Get rid of it, you obviously don't need the infernal machine. I have had the dubious pleasure of using one for my business. My experience was that customers were happier to leave a message on my answering device rather than 'phone me on the mobile.

(pen) I hope you still wash your feet.

argh!

[CdM] Indeed. We found that the hard drive was ok, so that was extracted and made to work with a bit of voodoo. I owe frogstar, big time. Now the computer is not only headless (no monitor, etc) but bodyless (no actual "machine"). It works, is the main thing. And a full current backup is now sitting at PaulWay's place (thanks and more thanks!).

Now I have to do actual work. *sigh*

je suis en colère

Well, more strike action on the rails in France. Just as the new, improved Eurostar opens from St Pancreas. The timing is perfect, wouldn't you say?

s'awfully quiet in here

Washing Machine Blues. They delivered it yesterday. Brilliant. I connected it up, and ran it on a 95 degree empty cycle, as recommended. It leaks. The deliverymen scuffed the drainage hose as they brought it in, making a water-sized hole. So I called the shop this morning, they put me onto Hotpoint's customer service, where I spoke to Smug Tony, who offered me an appointment a week on Thursday for a machine I didn't damage, and which I haven't yet been able to use. Not acceptable, I told them. I said I would talk to the shop again and get them to take the machine back. 'But the shop has handed this matter over to us,' said Smug Tony. I pointed out that Hotpoint customer service wasn't proving to be any use to me, so I would reserve the right to talk to the people who sold me the machine.
So I called the shop again, and insisted I was a very unhappy customer, and would they please give me a new washing machine before the weekend, and take the old one away. They're coming tomorrow afternoon. :o)

(pen) So that's what the ex-prime minister is up to these days. Glad you told him what's what.

More on the action - the university I work at was evacuated today because someone set fire to the curtains in the lecture hall where a meeting of students on whether to strike or not was held. I don't think these kids know what they're doing, really.

Goodness, what a long sentence. What is everyone else doing for the weekend?

(nights) I'll tell you tomorrow.

[nights] Thinking about Kalman filters as feedback controllers, control systems as an alternative to utility functions, and artificial intelligence as a doomed enterprise; and on Sunday, attending a memorial service for someone I knew a little and admired a lot, and cursing the railways for not having run a reliable Sunday service from Norwich to London at any time in the last twenty-five years.

Freelance voiceover work tomorrow morning and afternoon. A meal with boyf and friends in evening. Work on show all of Sunday, except for a short break to go see a concert with animations at the Barbican.

[nights] Rosie is celebrating his birthday.
[Rosie] Happy birthday!

(CdM) Cheers. There is a remark in MCiOS but you beat me to it.

Work from now to 2.30; watch daughter play in wind band this afternoon; work/karaoke/work from 5pm tonight till 1am-ish. Brass band rehearsal at 8:30am, ready for Leicester Brass Band Festival contest at 11am, then work, write quiz, read quiz at 9pm, work till midnight, get up at 6am for dray, then drop down dead.

bidet

Went to pub, bought beers all round. Fluttered eyelashes at mate's wife who'd said "Gosh, are you really?", tried to pull Polish barmaid by saying "Dobre wieçor" before ordering, as usual. Came home, went Morniversing and will now practise that sodding Beethoven sonata, thanks to Yamaha and headphones. Not a bad life, to be honest.

[Rosie] A belated birthday wish, sounds like it was a rather good one. I'm still not sure if I have a workplace to go to on Monday, so I'm staying near a phone in case anyone makes a decision. They probably won't though.

(nights) Cheers. Hope you find work; unemployment is bad news; I've had spells of it.

[Rosie] Oh, no worries, I'm not unemployed. I was referring to the various student strikes and barricades, and wondering if I could actually get to work today. I could. We'll see what the week brings.

*tumbles*

*grumbles*

*falls over*

*wees*

*wheeze*

*thinks "Not this again"*

t'weekend

I'm planting trees again tomorrow. And the windy miller arrives on Sunday morning. 07.10 at Stansted... so that means an Sunday 05.30 start for me. In other news, my 66-year old mother retires from work today, but has to have a mastectomy on Monday - not quite the glorious start to her retirement she was anticipating. *sigh*

déjà vu

See my entry of 2 weeks ago.
Mrs INJ is just getting over a bout of labyrinthitis, which she described as 'all the unpleasant aspects of being drunk without any of the nice bits'. It had interesting effects, such as falling over in the same direction if she turned her head. So I'll be lending her an arm.

(INJ) Labyrinthitis sounds like a made-up word ("inflammation of the labyrinth" - i.e. setting fire to Hampton Court maze) but I see on Googling it that it is a rather unpleasant affliction so I wish Mrs INJ all the best and hope there are no after-effects.

[Rosie] Thanks - she's a lot better now and will be back at work next week. the first couple of days weren't nice though - could only lie down with eyes closed.

ouch ouch ouch

[INJ] Please pass on my sympathies and best wishes for a hasty and full recovery. I had a severe bout of that after swimming in a waterhole in a national park near Darwin at the start of 1996. It came on the morning of the wedding we were there to attend - nothing like perfect timing, hey? I'd gone for a swim in the pool before breakfast, and things went very strange all of a sudden when I went back upstairs. I found the nystagmus the most fascinating thing (as an Optometrist), even as I was hurling my guts out. I couldn't roll over except at glacial speed for several weeks. I made it - very greenly - to the wedding, but avoided photos. And I was still not happy on the trip by bus back to Brisbane a week later, a total of 2,800 miles due to delays, detours and flooding.

Get well soon, Mrs INJ

[INJ] I had a dose of it about 15 years ago and its exactly like she said - lying down and keeping very still is about all you can manage. Even turing over in my sleep was frightening.

Good Wishes

Thanks to all. She is now much better and functioning nearly as normally as ever. It's one of those things I'd only vaguely heard of, but I now know of dozens of people who have suffered from it. Just one further question. The GP said that there was a chance of a recurrence - is that anyone's experience and, if so, was it as bad the next time?

[INJ] *dons doctors hat* Glad she's better, but sadly second time can be as nasty as the first time. Stupid ears.

medical and milling matters

More meds news - my mother doing well, coming along slowly after surgery on Monday. Windy Miller made a visit last weekend and went down well with everyone he met in my home town. Also toured some local (working) windmills to give him a foot in the door of the local milling brotherhood. And we've been invited out for dinner as a couple. Am officially a Miller's Moll now :oD

Medical news from me - woke up screaming at 4am this morning with horrific cramp in my leg. Mlle Nights nearly had a heart attack, but I'm fine now. I'm told potassium is good for cramp, as this is happening once a week or so. And it's bloody painful.

Cramp

Another two things to try - exercise, particular longer walks than whatever you are currently habituated to - I sometimes need several miles several times a week - and cold legs at night. The latter I acheive by the simple expedient of leaving them outside the covers. Arranging the covers in a shared bed to suit both of you may be a little harder though.

Leaping out of bed

Magnesium tablets have helped me a bit. Rutin (available from all exorbitantly-priced health food shops) was suggested, but for me it doesn't sem to make a difference.

I usually have cold legs at night, as I tend to sleep on the edge of the bed with my legs outside of the duvet. However, I could always get off the bus one stop early. Or two. No, one.

[nights] I think you're bored us all into silence. However, let's bring the conversational temperature up a notch with the general question: What did you have for lunch today?

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