Yes, your toe does look a bit swollen. Let's see if we can get to the root cause: were you sexually abused as a child? Think hard, you may have fogotten.
It'll just be a few moments, Mr. Smith. Soon, when you're done with the EKG and EEG, the MD who does the CAT (he's also an FRCP), and the RN from PET will be with you STAT. That's if the LNP has already come back from MRI with the test report, and your PA, SGOT, TAT, Ca, Na and K values have been obtained from PATH, your joint flexibility has been evaluated by the DO and the PharmD has evaluated the possible drug interactions between your PAS capsule and the APC tablets.
Is the general anesthesia making you drowsy Mrs. Higginbothum? Good! By the way, I will not be performing your cosmetic surgery due to numerous long-standing and libelous malpractice litigations, but my lovely receptionist, Miss Sunnyweather, has agreed to operate the knife under my direction. [Dujon] My sincere apologies if I've vexed you in any way, ;-) might I add your account recalls to me of an incident where I too visited a city hospital some years back and feeling wicked I appropriated a stethoscope and a physicians garb w/nametag [Dr. Abdul-Haseeb Musad, M.D.] which translates from Muslim into 'Servant of the esteemed unfettered camel' and I purposely intercepted a group of young interns [who mistook me for their instructor] leading them on the most invaluable learning excursion of their lives. Might I say they were most impressionable and questioned nothing that I put to them which caused me the utmost joy. It is no small wonder that I recount you specifically, and I ask that you overlook my roguish style of comedy, what I diagnosed as 'a classic case of FM' was by no means accurate ... I am certain you did not suffer from 'Foot & Mouth' disease. And I am confident I did those youth a service who flunked out of medical school on my account. ;-)
[Falstaff] I thought it was you. It's your M.C. pseudonym that gave it away. Thanks for the guffaw. Incidentally, I think it was Foot in Mouth from which I was (and may still be) suffering, but no one has been strong enough to advise me to that effect.
"OMG! Nurse! Get in here stat! We must act without delay and quarantine the premises, immediately! Get the Atlanta CDC on the phone and inform them we have a level 5 containment! Alert the national guard and homeland security ... but first, send for the priest in the lobby so he can read this condemned man his last rites ..... oh wait a minute ... you can disregard that order, I was mistaken ... it's only the measles."
As, you are aware, we have a planned refuelling stop in Hawaii, but I reckon we've got a pretty good chance of reaching Tokyo without it, so let's just give it a go.
Strasvistiye daragiye passangerii, mei prelgasayem vam chitat' kriticheskaya informatsiya na kartii v'vashem stolii, potomoo shto u nas problyemkii zdeys.
On behalf of the cabin crew, I'd like to apologise for the fact that all the toilets are out of order. However, by way of compensation, the staff will shortly be giving you each three glasses of complimentary champagne. On behalf of the airline, I hope you enjoy them. We expect to arrive in Chicago in about six hours' time.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. On behalf of the crew, the co-pilot, and myself, we are elated to have so many beautiful people aboard this trans-atlantic flight this evening. I am excited to announce The Mile High Club is convening at this time in the cockpit and is open to all comers."
"Welcome aboard this Air Raising flight to London Hackney Marshes Airport. the cabin crew will be passing through the cabin in a few moments to collect compulsory donations for the Air Crew retirement fund, but meantime we thought you'd all enjoy a few barrel rolls and dives to help pass the time."
Ladies and gentlemen. This is Chief Stewardess Marilyn speaking. We are priveleged today to have a distinguished veteran pilot on this flight. Captain Steven MacKloskey once flew with Amelia Earhart, and to celebrate his hundredth birthday is commanding this flight today. Please welcome him back on this momentous occasion. He hasn't even flown a plane since his major stroke thirty-five years ago.
In your inflight magazine you'll find details of the radio programmes on offer including Timmy Mallett's Kids' Show. Smooth Jazz Classics with Timmy Mallett, All-Time Classics with Timmy Mallett, Timmy Mallett's Heroes of Children's TV and A Lecture on Quantum Subaltern Gender Theory. By Timmy Mallett.
Ladies and gentlemen, just a little bit of turbulence, nothing to worry about. However it would help if you could all lean to the left for a couple of minutes as we take this corner. Thanks.
...so due to the emergency situation Ladies and Gentlemen it has become necessary to establish the weights of all the passengers and, er, ask the heaviest to please move towards the cabin doors where the crew will, um, assist them in their, um, our descent... (Well, I worry about that anyway)
Ladies and Gentlemen : Please save some of your peanuts for later. There will not be any additional food or snack service on the second leg of this flight until we reach Tokyo after our refueling stop in Istanbul.
... and to finish off our list of acknowledgement of those who make your charter flight possible, our thanks go to Michelin for providing our tyres. Enjoy the grand prix, ladies and gentlemen.
We have just been informed that there is a suicide bomber on board, so to protect people on the ground we will shortly be diverting into the side of a mountain. Fear not, for God will know his own.
Ladies and Gentleman in the First Class Cabin. We regret to announce that, due to an error by our ground catering staff, we failed to load our stocks of the Dom Perignon 1996, and will instead be forced to serve the 1995 vintage.
Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Captain speaking. Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until we're at the gate. And welcome to Indianapolis... Oops! Was this supposed to be the flight to Chicago?