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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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As, you are aware, we have a planned refuelling stop in Hawaii, but I reckon we've got a pretty good chance of reaching Tokyo without it, so let's just give it a go.
Ladies and gentlemen- This is your pilot speaking. Does anyone out there in the cabin know how to read an altimeter?
Strasvistiye daragiye passangerii, mei prelgasayem vam chitat' kriticheskaya informatsiya na kartii v'vashem stolii, potomoo shto u nas problyemkii zdeys.
"Laaaadish and geentulminsh-Thish ish yur pilot shpeeking and I am intoxi- *sic* cated."
On behalf of the cabin crew, I'd like to apologise for the fact that all the toilets are out of order. However, by way of compensation, the staff will shortly be giving you each three glasses of complimentary champagne. On behalf of the airline, I hope you enjoy them. We expect to arrive in Chicago in about six hours' time.
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