Strasvistiye daragiye passangerii, mei prelgasayem vam chitat' kriticheskaya informatsiya na kartii v'vashem stolii, potomoo shto u nas problyemkii zdeys.
On behalf of the cabin crew, I'd like to apologise for the fact that all the toilets are out of order. However, by way of compensation, the staff will shortly be giving you each three glasses of complimentary champagne. On behalf of the airline, I hope you enjoy them. We expect to arrive in Chicago in about six hours' time.
"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain speaking. On behalf of the crew, the co-pilot, and myself, we are elated to have so many beautiful people aboard this trans-atlantic flight this evening. I am excited to announce The Mile High Club is convening at this time in the cockpit and is open to all comers."