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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Ladies and gentlemen, just a little bit of turbulence, nothing to worry about. However it would help if you could all lean to the left for a couple of minutes as we take this corner. Thanks.
...so due to the emergency situation Ladies and Gentlemen it has become necessary to establish the weights of all the passengers and, er, ask the heaviest to please move towards the cabin doors where the crew will, um, assist them in their, um, our descent... (Well, I worry about that anyway)
Ladies and Gentlemen : Please save some of your peanuts for later. There will not be any additional food or snack service on the second leg of this flight until we reach Tokyo after our refueling stop in Istanbul.
... and to finish off our list of acknowledgement of those who make your charter flight possible, our thanks go to Michelin for providing our tyres. Enjoy the grand prix, ladies and gentlemen.
With a bit of luck we will be landing at Tullamarine in around 17 minutes from now.
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