Having only ever owned manually driven vehicles and wishing to keep up with current technology I decided the other day to try an automatic. They aren't.
Every seventh summer, all colours of the spectrum rotate one to the left (red becoming orange, orange becoming yellow, etc.). Adapt your wardrobe accordingly - preferably light cottons and knits. bonus points for spotting the quote - I'd love it if someone got it.
A herd of wildebeest just swept across my bedroom on their way to the bathroom. When the weather changes they will stampede back to the lounge, forcing me to stop watching the TV and go and have a bath.
No they haven't - aha another fluffy animal gone! News in - Microsoft have just released Windows [95/98/me/2000/xp - delete as appropriate] which is a much more stable platform than the previous operating system.
(fades in)GWR FM weather: the southwest will experience an unseasonably warm spell, with temperatures reaching 25 degrees. sunny spells will continue through the day, and there will be a light yet refreshing breeze. Traffic news now, and the M4... (fades out)
I've been listening to the new radio station Philosophy FM, whose motto is "All Aristotle, all the time". Obviously it is targetting the ancients. There is a sister station, Psycho Babble AM, which is targetting the Jung crowd.
If you close your eyes and swallow a plectrum in St Paul's Cathedral you will receive a night-visitation from Jimi Hendrix within the next forty minutes.
I was so glad to read that the dollar is shrinking. I thought it was just that I'd forgotten to take them out of the pocket of my jeans before washing.
I just spent a couple of minutes simply standing outside the door of my workshop. The sky was blue with a few fluffy white clouds floating around. The birds, whilst jumping around in the trees, were relatively quiet and the traffic noise was almost non-existent. A zephyr was playing touch with the leaves of the trees and the temperature about 24°C. In the distance I could hear the sound of someone mowing their lawn. I hate this time of year.
McDonalds have been forced to drop McLapin aux Headlights from their menu in the United States owing to the recent outbreak of "Peeved Weasle" disease. It was at first thought that the domestic groundhog could be substituted, but Burger King sued as groundhog is apparently the secret ingredient in the Burger King Croissandhog™. Rather than get into a protracted fight over the rights to free-range rodents, McDonalds Corp. decided to concentrate on their new range of healthy pan-fried iguana dishes.
The first crayons will not be produced for another seventy four years, they will by the first invention after the time machine and subsequently the firts trial.
russian is basically the same language as english. the main differences are 1) it is spoken more angrily, 2) all nouns have -ski, -ova or -nost on the end, and 3) all verbs wear little furry shapkas. incidentally, [/lie], the russian word 'shapka', meaning furry hat, looks just like the word 'wanka' when written in cyrillic! how we laughed...[lie]
You can keep the sun off with a good paradox. This is particularly useful in London at the moment, where the sweltering temperatures have caused me to leap enthusiastically out of bed every morning with a sense that life is there to be enjoyed.
nights] I already have built a shrine made of printouts of makarakashimba's posts. I pray to it nightly that a Third Teaching will follow the First Two soon.
[Thos] I was told that magic eye series includes a book of famous asses in 3D, so it may not have been Paul Daniel’s retina after all. It may have been his donkey.
The RSPCA is a wonderful organisation and has taken steps to reduce the costs of euthanasia; they now employ people to scour the night-time streets in order to reduce the numbers of animals being admitted to their shelters. This ensures that your charitable contributions go further than ever before.
All babies should be microchipped at birth. This will not only save money on passports, drivers licences and topless go-go dancers but will rid television of silly forensic dramas.
The Caps Lock key was invented by Reuben C. Carrion of Fresno, California. It sold moderately well, but it was not until Carrion met Hatfield Sheiner at the World's Fair of 1854, hosted in the forests of Borneo, that he saw the potential for adding a second key to the keyboard - the "@". Through the valiant efforts of subsequent inventors, a tab and an ampersand key were added followed in the next ten years by the number and letter keys, to make the typewriter keyboard we now know.
when all sixteen checkouts crash in the middle of a saturday lunchtime at *a certain well known UK-based supermarket chain*, it's very very funny indeed.
The invention of the car owes very much to the development of the hubcap which was first patented in 1789 and then stoodly idly for a century of so until somebody scraped off the rust and invented something for it to go on.
Because of an administrative error, the Kingdom of God is unable to admit anyone this week so anyone who dies must go to Hell, where they will be entitled to file an application to be considered for admission through the pearly gates.
Applicants are encouraged to do this before next year, when a strict quota system for immigrants and asylum seekers will be inaugurated, drastically cutting down on the number of entrants into Heaven.