arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
arrow_circle_up
Lastnight I drank a lava-lamp
This is also an experiment
Elvis is alive and teaching paragliding to hippopotomi.
There is one, and only one, explanation as to why Elvis can move so quickly whilst dragging a parachute: Baked beans.
And prune juice.
this is also an experiment
but hasn't quit been sucessful
The concept of the 'Geostationary orbit' was concieved by Floella Benjeman and Hamble, and falsly claimed by Arthur C Clarke. However it was Arthur C's idea to use different shaped magic windows in Playschool.
I have a patent on patents. I expect the licence fees to be rolling in any time now.
It's far too cold to snow. (Botherer) Re your Feb 16th post - my Dad, who was called Gwilym, obviously never went near the place. :-)
These days my favourite form of exercise is 'jumping to conclusions'
I recently fell in love. Love has the texture and colouring of watery Turkish delight. It took me ages to get my clothes clean and even now I'm followed everywhere by an army of tom cats with amorous expressions.
I'm certainly not listening to Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 mixed with Röyksopp's Eple and enjoying the hell out of it. Or bopping my head along with it in the library. Or getting funny looks.
Used hand handgrenades are a very rare commodity, therefore their prices are extortionatly inflated. Beware of people selling new ones and claiming that they are used- they may infact be lying.
The capital of Paris is France.
I am, in fact, dead, and posting from lewisham cemetery, se14.
Fact- I left home this morning, not realising that I had infact left my car keys behind. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at work and realised this, and wondered how I had infact got there successfully...........
I am not at all pleased that planning for the Rugby Pilg 2 seems to be gathering momentum with a good crowd of participants. I'm dreading the whole thing.
likewise, I'm delighted that work won't let me have that weekend off because I've used all my holiday time travelling to Kenya and back.
lastnight i shrank by approximately 16% - I have no logical account for this.
its usually only 14%
i have recenly discovered that my girlfriend is a thespian
by an unusual coincidence, my thespian is in fact my girlfriend.
In Shakespearean times it was in fact perfectly OK for women to appear on stage, contrary to popular opinion. But you know what actors are like, any excuse for some transvestitism. The Bard himself was known as "Big Wilhelmina" at the weekends.
i still can't belive it's not butter!
when they change everything around at work, it makes for a hilarious shift. [/lie]I should stop using this game to complain about my job, I suppose. this'll be the last one.[lie]
I'm delighted I've been so busy for the last two weeks I've hardly had a chance to look at The Morniverse.
I'm sure nights was really confident with those [lie] tags.
certainaly was.
Hey up peeps, hows it going?
This is a real-time chat room.
it's also a coffee table.
and occasionally doubles as an altruistic campanologist from Boston, Lincs.
I don't waste my time playing silly games.
I just did a dry run with my new washing machine
Caffeine is a gateway drug that invariably leads to crack-cocaine addiction.
Which, in turn, leads to Slough, via the M40.
It's a slippery slope indeed. Strap on the crampons of righteousness and ascend to the pinnacle of Mount Pious (AKA Mt Magnolia)
I found a worrying lump next to my right testicle. Luckily it turned out to be my left testicle.
If I fall over in the forest when there's nobody around to hear it, did I really drink those last four pints?
In the event that my postulations continue to reverberate in such lonely fashion, I shall be forced to set off o'er yonder hillock for the purpose of procuring compounds designed to precipitate a psychological episode of the type not at all advocated by the human resources department.
And I shall make no effort to avoid trampling any hedgehog I should encounter en route.
Unless they know the answer to the question.
Opal Fruits used to be made from real opals until the manufacturers discovered that burst stars, like broken biscuits, are much cheaper.
Burt Reynolds looks like the sort of chap who could win an argument with my wife. I wish I was Burt Reynolds.
I, in fact, love Paddington Station.
Just like snowflakes, no two onions appear the same
-however, onions have a much greater terminal velocity than snowflakes due to their lower surface area to mass ratio
onion bahjis can be used as an alternative to snowballs, anywhere in the northern hemisphere between April and September
-however, for reasons unknown- onion bahjis should never be substituted by snowballs. This practice is prevalent in some parts of Ireland- be warned!
being hit on the face with an high velocity onion bahji is not a very pleasant experience, nor is eating snowballs!
Pelgis has two cats , one called Onion Bahji and the other Snowballs
onion bahjis have just peaked at $0.14 a barrel on the US commodities market- this is due to a siginficant increase in the demand from China, South Korea and South Yorkshire
i have infact eaten both my cats- but it was in self defence
I've posted in here a lot lately.
funny, I haven't. and I love my supervisor at work.
i have just developed a rather embarrassing rash
Scientists working at the University of Tegiucigalpa have just announced the first scotch egg with a rudimentary consciousness. The scotch egg was conscious for less than 4 picoseconds, but in that time it managed to think about doing some ironing.
I enjoy thinking about ironing, and always iron all my clothes.
The human brain is often described as being like porridge. Sadly, few people extend this idea, for if they did, and added brown sugar and golden syrup to their brain, and gave it a good stir, it would actually work rather better.
The word "stoop" originates in the Latin "vercare".
There is a new vegetarian restaurant opening in Charlotte Street, London devoted solely to gnocchi. Little Dumplings (as it is called) is the brainchild of Leonardo and Sylvia Flavorisimo, originally of Naples. The gnocchi will be served plain or with a light grey sauce.
During the war, due to banana shortages, members of ENSA were obliged to sing, "Yes, we have no potatoes. We have no potatoes today."
By law, all MPs must get a reference to the Nolan Sisters covertly into their maiden speech.
I'm not a fan of a maiden's peach.
the 'ping pong' of the tannoy does not make me shudder anymore.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord