During the war, due to banana shortages, members of ENSA were obliged to sing, "Yes, we have no potatoes. We have no potatoes today."

By law, all MPs must get a reference to the Nolan Sisters covertly into their maiden speech.

I'm not a fan of a maiden's peach.

the 'ping pong' of the tannoy does not make me shudder anymore.

Boris Kerfuffle (74) has maintained all his life that you won't get far in the world unless you can master crêpe paper. He himself has a car made from nothing but crêpe paper and, if he had a lot more money, would be a millionaire.