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Carpe Diem - Fish of the Day
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One player will provide a word or phrase in another language, and the next will furnish us with an erudite translation and then a word or phrase of their own...
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Mrs Estefan threw up in the van on the journey home from a weekend away.

Hony soit qui mal y pense

When Malcolm is 'dressed up', he would prefer to be known as 'Honey'

si monumentum requiris, circumspice

Making a huge statue by pouring cement over Victoria Beckham.

Penblwydd Hapus
Agh! The cat has drawn blood from my "little chap!"

Daijobu desu ka?

Still working at the day job? (I would be surprised to find that "daijobu" really is Japanese for "day job".)

con fuoco

s/would/wouldn't/
Expression of disgust upon seeing Jeffrey Archer back in the paper. (Raak - alas, it means OK, so that "Fish" actually meant "Is it OK?", if my primitive Japanese skills don't steer me too wrong.)

Mi dispiace, non lo so.
The container for my CD is not loose.

Ich bin Auslander

I'm Australian

Tant pi, tant mieux

Do not piss on the cat

Zu Risiken und Nebenwirkungen lesen Sie die Packungsbeilage und fragen Sie Ihren Arzt oder Apotheker

When working in Nebraska, you risk ignoring the lesson of those who die in packing spillages by breaking their arse on an apothecary.

Mae bronnau ardderchog da hi.

May now breeds harder pigs - say hello!

Kann ich habe die speisekarte bitte, wenn es möglisch ist.
Pass the pepper pot, and don't be so catty. Senza sordini.
Sensible sardines.

o-negai shimas

My veins contain blood that is both rare and glistening.

post hoc, ergo proptor hoc

It was after the pig, therefore it is a pig with a propellor.

Dulce et decorum est, pro patri mori.
Propriety is dull, even more so for fathers. I believe you meant "pro patria mori" btw

Jak dziala ogrzewanie?

Has that Jak been peeing in the dhalias again?

Appelation controllée

We have tamed the wild mountains of Virginia. Stultorum assinorumque rex.
Sultry weather recks my sinuses

Dove sono i miei occhiali?
The songbirds are getting in the way of the darts players.

Defense de cracher.

Car bumper. (Glad to see you've got it sussed, Rosie!)

Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!
I have pointy ears and long fair hair to die for, aren't I just so wonderful?

Achtung!

Yeuch! Tongue!

Ïa Shub Niggurath! Cthulhu fhtagn!

You haven't seen me! My name is Phtang and I am working under cover as an African shrub.

Fennas nogothrim, lasto beth lammen!

Do not pass through the marsh, Beth, as you're my very last lamb!

Peidiwch â phoeni'r merched yn y babell nesa.

(This is a more sophisticated form of "rhubarb rhubarb", i.e. gibberish muttered by actors in the background of a scene who have to look like they're talking.)

berberis thunbergii atropurpurea

My barber's tunaburger has gone stiff and purple. [cf. Facial Nightwear].

Caesar adsum iam forte

Caesar supplements it with sum strong preserve

Habla usted una montadiente?

Has anyone lost a diamond mountain?

Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Ash gets up my nose from inconsiderate smokers, Ash gets up my nose from idiot smokers,
Ash gets up my nose from cretinous smokers, Death to all smokers!

exeunt omnes

They've all been executed.

Gebrauchen Sie Insektenvertilgungsmittel.

Well I never. That incy wincey spider is climbing up the spout.

Wo steckst du gleich das Köpfchen hin?

Why are you hammering a stake through my head?

namaste

Our ship is completely buggered.

Une foi, une loi, un roi.
I'm mad, I need the toilet, and I'm hungry.

Devo engoli-los inteiros?

Is the entire english race satanic?

Teo toriate konomama iko

My mother has run off with a theatrical troupe again.

mi casa es su casa

We've got squatters!

Llyfrgell Cyhoeddus

My life has been saved by a seagull with a robotic head.

Non piove ma cola.

Please don't piss in my drink

café con leche

Would you like to come in for..."coffee"?

tu es Petrus

Fill 'er up.

ne te confundum illegitimi

Never contest paternity suits

Arma virumque cano

I am protected by a highly infectious CocaCola container.

Ici le prévision des temps.

Your television licence has been temporarily suspended.

Es ist Oberseite niederwirft
Do not write on the other side of this page.

dabo claves regni caelorum

Use a pair of percussion sticks to summon the King.

Barriga cheia, cara alegre.

"Bring your chia pet, Carmen Electra!" DICTUM MEUM PACTUM
My diarrhoea medicine is packed.

Dein ist mein herz und soll es ewig bleiben!

Eat my heart and colour my wig blueberry. (A hip slang expression of astonishment.)

et in arcadia ego

He reckons he's a pinball wizard.

parc fermé

Allotment

Jag har lite ont i halsen, och hostar mycket

Hamish! You've got a new toy Jaguar, I see...

Zan titotlanehuia
You'd look silly in a roadgoing helicopter.

Yenilen pehlivan gurese doymaz.

Of course you can get in, just grease the palm of Ivan the doorman.

Cet outil ne vaut rien
A low turnout.

So lass deine büchsen im walde stehn?

Whilst the girl eats the bushes, I'm staining the welder.

Buenos tardes.

I like Dr Who.

Ne ekersen, o'nu bicersin.

If you shine my nose, I will give you your nose. (A Klingon proverb.)

nunc dimittis

Nuns are a stupid crowd

güle güle, alahsmaladžk
Alas, your goolies appear to be knackered.

Già il sole dal gange. Nel puro ardor

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Quantum ille canis est in fenestra?

Is it possible to use a rubbish bin as a makeshift particle accelerator?

Sakinilan goze cop batar.

He who drink too much sake get into fight with police.

gaudeamus igitur

Please sign here but you must use this multi-coloured-fluorescent-gel pen.

Laue lüfte blumen düfte, alle lenz und jugendlust!

Lift the daft bloom, and go! Give up lusting after jugs for Lent!

mens sana in corpore sano
Words importing the masculine also include the neuter
Laudamus te, benedicamus te, adoramus te, glorificamus te.
Let us praise tea, bless tea, adore tea, glofity tea.

Les sanglots longs des violons de l'automne blessent mon coeur d'une langueur monotone.

The karaoke queens yearn for road rage, blessing my scabby dog with a dull tonguing.

Je suis le ténébreux, le veuf, l'inconsolé (Flanders & Swann invoked)

The Swiss are full of tenacity, verve and depression.

La cattiveria ritorna su chi l'ha fatta.

Only real cats get overweight on Japanese food.

Pan welwch yr olau coch aroswch yma.

Make me some pan-fried porridge with oil of rose cockles.

exceptio probat regulam

Well, once a week does you good, they say...

volo comprare nonnulla tegumembra
The relative speed of your membranes is greater than zero.

Äpplet faller inte långt från trädet.

I want to swap my failing applet for a Frankinsh lantern.

Ich möchte Raak sehen, dieses zu übersetzen!
Forgive me! for I have mocked Raak's miniature zoo collection

Drum heg ich sie auch so treu an der brust

The female percussionist on the auk has her trousers pulled up an awfully long way.

Precipitevolissimevolmente
It rains very hard, all the bloody time

Herr Ober! Es gibt eine fliege in meiner Suppe
Mr. Oboeist! Give us a tootle to help our soprano get in tune.

Er entdeckte der Welt, was die Antike sei, er zeigte dem menschlichen Geiste, was die Natur und die Welt sei. Diese Taten vollbrachte der deutsche Geist aus sich, aus seinem innersten Verlangen, sich seiner bewusst zu werden. Und dieses Bewusstsein sagte ihm, was er zum ersten Male der Welt verkünden konnte, dass das Schöne und Edle nicht um des Vorteils, ja selbst nicht um des Ruhmes und der Unerkennung willen in die Welt tritt: und alles, was im Sinne dieser Lehre gewirkt wird, ist 'deutsch', und deshalb ist der Deutsche gross; und nur, was in diesem Sinne gewirkt wird, kann zur Grösse Deutschlands führen.

She entered the deck with her welding gear, where she spoke of her antics, and she sought the men who liked the spirits of nature and welding, so they said. Their potatoes ran boldly towards the spirit of Holland, sick yet sane, immersed in their language, sick yet sane, wimpy and wordy. And their wimpy sanity saddened him, because her ex-husband had welded children's cots - that's the shaven but idle git in his 40s, yes, selfish git with the rheumatism and wilful unemployment in the welding industry: and friends, whom he sinned with, leering at their wierd work, calling it "Dutch," but he'd never actually been to Holland in any serious way; and now, these sins affected his own weird work, dragging him into the truly serious fires of Holland.

Många bäckar små gör en stor å.

The fellow returns, bloodied, to the supermarket.

Et in terra pax, pax hominibus.

[Darren] Bravo!
[Raak] Indeed, but I'm curious as to where you got this quote (assuming you didn't make it up yourself, which is indeed possible). I've tried googling but thanks to a somewhat unconventional use (to my mind) of the dative in the first clause, it doesn't come up with anything.
[rab] I googled for "German quotations" and came across a page of Wagner quotes. I can see why Hitler was a fan.
[rab, Raak] It's interesting to hear where you all pick up your quotations from. My German ones all come from 'Schubert - 200 Songs for Voice & Piano' selected and edited by Sergius Kagen [IMC. New York]. It contains the English translations which, given the somewhat florid, overblown nature of the romantic verse, are chucklesome enough [even before you lot apply your skills to them].
At this point in time, I cannot do justice to Rosie's last quote so I'm leaving it for someone who can.
[Chalky] To be fair to dear Franz, the only Lied I know in any detail had its lyrics written by Heine. But then I'm quite a fan of his, feeling him in many people's minds to be cast in Beethoven's shadow. In the meantime...

He who is sardined in terror, is sardined into the gay bus.

Hyvaa Joulua ja Onnellista Uutta Vuotta

Never joke with the honesty of the floating voter.

Hänchen klein, ging allein, in die weiter Weld hinein.

[Darren] Marvellous stuff. Do I sense the germination of a new game here?
Clean your hands, my gang allies, in the water behind the weld.

Tack för det!

Thanks all for the comments! I was rather worried someone else would come up with a better "translation" while I was working on mine, but that didn't happen luckily. Incidentally, I get my quotes and proverbs from a variety of sources: some from the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, and others from online proverb collections.

[rab] Thank you for reminding me of the Finnish for Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Finnish is truly opaque, and the only word in the phrase that has any relationship to other languages as far as I know is "Joulua", which is "Yule" with a nice Finnish suffix.

(Use a) nail for that!

Lapin Kulta

This phrase, decorously expressed in Latin, occurs in a Victorian anatomical guide to the fair sex written for young men (who are assumed virtuously innocent of such knowledge).

Costain Skanska Bafry

My cousin loves reggae and reggae loves him, baby.

Sein oder Nichtsein, das ist hier die Frage

Sigh over the night scene, because you're about to get mugged.

Theon oudeis popote tetheatai, ean agapomen allelous, ho theos en hemin menei kai he agape autou en emin teteleiomene estin.
This odious puppet theatre, its fittings all loose, has those at home agape and television is preferred.

Comment allez vous?

Do you have anything to say in response to these allegations?

rubor, calor, tumor, dolor, functio laeso

Rubber, gas, cancer, the DHSS... that's life.

Den som gräver en grop åt andra faller själv däri.

Den is some groover! But he did grope the outside of Andrea, and fell over, being slightly doozy.

Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin.

That gents' lavatory seems oddly popular today.

Gotterdämmerung
Ascend the woman's ladder.

And, to keep gil happy,

matkailutoimisto

Thank you, rab. This, of course, literally means "Never rely on cattle to find their way in fog". (A well-known Finnish proverb - now used to designate Tourist Bureaux)

Ratgeber und Rundfahrten

Literally "Ratgobbler and Roundfarter", this is a popular German sitcom about an eponymous firm of lawyers.

si vis pacem, para bellum

If life is peaceful, it seems beautiful.

Die hellen Funken, welche dem Beschauer,
Genährt von Strahlen, die der Sonn entsprühten,
Wann sie versank, des Lichtes Blick vergüten,
Sie leben selbst nur eine Blumentrauer.
Dos Equis -- two horses
[ignoring mick, who seems to be playing to different rules]

Death is funky as hell, like going to Wales for a shower,
Get arty as you're strolling, sprout yourself in the Sun,
When you fall down, lick the licky bit of a gun,
You levitate yourself, now behind the trail, plant a flower

Vége jó minden jó.

Eat vegetables and grow thin.

si monumentum requiris, circumspice

We need a statue of the Sporty Spice.

A mulher e a sardinha querem-se da mais pequenina

[Ibid] Almost eggsactly what I had in mind - but with Jewish Spice instead. :o)
If I eat another sardine I'll turn into a penguin.

Ta bean in Eirinn a phronnfadh sead damh is mo shaith le n-ol

Thanks for putting the bean in, Erin - on the phone, my father said, "Damn, it's more than my job's worth."

Rehellisyys maan perii.

RE: Hell is a man called Pierre

J-P
You're on to something here, but can't you say something more general? Does he have to be named Pierre? Only one man? Just men -- or women too? Maybe it's all other people you mean? Think about it.
Yrs, Simone.

Voetsek!
Voter apathy

'Kto pierdz'i ten s'mierdz'i'
The Japanese horse has done ten poos!

Miraa-san no otoo-san to okaa-san wa ogenki desu ka.
The Ford Ka design brief openly stated there were to be no mirrors, no toilets and no whales included.

Mann og viv er eitt liv.

A man with wide eyes has eight lives.

O-negai shimas

[Raak] erm . . repetition [4 or so pages back] - so I will also repetish my previous translation:
My veins contain blood that is both rare and glistening.

Willst meinem schätzchen dich machen beliebt?

If I have a crap, will you believe me? (Said to a customs officer who suspects one of carrying illegal substances in a dark place.)

[Chalky] What can I say but:
sumimasen

The new enforcement branch of the Freemasons is made up of large Japanese types in small underwear.

Carthago delenda est
I'm renting out my carthorse.

I dag raud, i morgon daud.

I was a navvy because my father was Welsh.

Si monumentum requiris, circumspice.

Victoria insists that it is imperative that the statue of David show the lad circumcised.

Consiga su pie de mi bola

I'll give you a pie if you can clean bowl me.

Xondo wako
This was how The Sun originally broke the news of Kubla Khan's excessive pleasure-dome building.

Den Menschen mit dem Himmel verbinden: eine Studie zu den katechetischen Homilien des Theodor von Mopsuestia
Dan mentioned putting the hammer in the bin: a study of the cat-cheating home loan of St. Theodore of the Swiss Mop.

trockenbeerenauslese

The stone in my drink renders it useless.

Abrochense los cinturatos

A broach was lost in the tumble-dryer

Trekken voor uitgaang

The gang of four are now known as 'The Group of Odd Walkers' (i.e. - Roughly translated - "The Ministry of Funny Walks")
Err ...

Una comida y yo decentes somos cualquier persona

This is the advertising line for a Spanish remake of "Queer as Folk": "A comedy about ten somewhat queer people."

domo arigato gozaimasu

The Millennium dome will be disassembled and shipped to a farm in Malta.

Overstaap bij brug

Fall off the bridge.

D'er ingen så lang han ei må tøya seg, og ingen så låg han ei må bøya seg.

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