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The Banter Page
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World Conkering
Blimey - that Conker thing I mentioned - it's the WORLD Conker Championship, no less. Second Sunday in October. That's a week today.
Freakout
Hey there, you two. I've just been hither and thither. I've just had a go at the Pants game, but for some reason my entries didn't come out right. No bold, and all my 'return's didn't work. I feel glum.
glum-busting
[Thrax] A couple of pages back, DrQ posted some helpful hints for highlighting text which includes the 'tags' for Bold, Italics, Small Font and Drawing a Line. If you use the same symbol pattern that he has shown - ie. the pointy chevron ones to the right of the letter 'M' on your keypad, the tag for line break is 'br', and the one for new para is 'p'. Usefully, in here you can 'Preview' your entry before you 'Submit' it.
Recap on basic HTML
What you type and what appears
<b>foo</b> = foo
<i>foo</i> = foo
<small>foo</small> = foo
<br> = [new line]
<hr> =
HTML
(Dr Q)"small" (got to type it like that) doesn't seem to work with me. I tried it in a comment in the Limericks. If I just use "s" as a tag it gives a crossed out word. Any ideas?
Smallish
[Rosie] It did work. If you are comparing the size of your comment type face with that of snorgle, don't. She used a specific font size command (on this occasion size 4 - that is, '<'font size=4'>' before the comment text and '<'/font'>' after the comment. (without the apostrophes - DrQ is more clever than I when it comes to HTML; I have no idea as to how to show code as text. I think it's a 'tt' and '/tt' command, but I'm not sure as to what else is required)
Size is everything.
Whoops, sorry Rosie, that should have been -4. See the difference below. 4 is obviously the larger.

Hello

Hello

< and >
[Duj]
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Take two.
&lt; = < , &gt; = >
Thanks to the good Dr.
Let's try that again, then.

<font size=4> This is it
<font size=-4> This is it
<small>This is it

This is it
This is it
This is it
Humble pie.
Sorry, I was experimenting and hit the wrong button. Turns red and disappears.
It is colours with me
In the past I have used browser friendly colours on this site - but they came out oddly. They seem to be working now, according to the preview button. Let me know if you see anything different...
FONT COLOR="BLUE"
FONT COLOR="RED"
FONT COLOR="MAGENTA"
FONT COLOR="GREEN"
FONT COLOR="#63bdb5"
FONT COLOR="#006B84"
FONT COLOR="HAMPSTER"
small furry animals
[BtD] The first four and the last have come out as "named". The two variations of green [nos. 5 & 6] are very pretty and have codes within the "...". Was that intentional? I have attempted to post this in "hampster". It may end up as a dead hampster, ie. blue.
web colo(u)rs
For lots of colours that can be used with most browsers put this in your favourites
Dead furry animals
Sadly, a blue "hampster". Yes, the hexadecimal codes were intentional because there are no names for these colours.
If I had to name them...
Hospital Corridor
Blue Pants In With Whites
colouration
Ah, the famous 'pants left in wash'. As for your hospital corridor, I've never seen one that colour... It is the colour of the disposable drapes we use for knee replacements, arthroscopies and various other orthopaedic procedures. Also the very flattering hats we have to wear in theatre.
costume departments
[Angus] You're an actor? Or perhaps a theatre critic? Oh, how thrilling! I don't care. I've switched off my brain because I'm going to Nice for a holiday tomorrow :o)
Um, no...
Actor on the weekends. The rest of the time I'm a nurse in theatres, getting to see peoples insides. Such fun!
Breaks
Pen] Your namesake laid TWO eggs yesterday! Have a good holiday. Angus] Adds a new dimension to the phrase "break-a-leg".
oh yeah
Does too. Tell you what, never getting me on a motorbike - seen too many remnants!
Angus] My Mum was a radiographer and made me swear I'd never ride a motorbike.
HTML tricks
(Dr Q, Dujon) Thanks. I must save this page. BTW I still can't get used to typing "Rosie" instead of "ro987". Whoops, what a giveaway.
I doubt anyone will have the opportunity to use it now, Rosie, hehehe.
Of course, although HTML doesn't list all the colours by name, you can get some nice colours by putting a random word or phrase into the 'color' bit. So this colour, for example is 'Werewolves of London'.
Of course, that's where the Hampster colour comes from. I wonder if you can reverse engineer that to find a phrase from a colour?
You mean...
Swansea Summer
Conservative conference hair
Road Squirrel
Nurse!!!
New Labour
[penelope] I hear it's very nice in Nice. Here's a Colour Chart for guidance:
How about ...
Before the Côte d'Azur
Day 1 in the Côte d'Azur
Return from Côte d'Azur
[Ibid, BtD] I think Newborn's Nappy is more apt than the Werewolf thingy.
This is a wonderful distraction. I'm supposed to be revising for a computer exam tomorrow. Playing with font colours counts ... erm ... doesn't it?
[BtD] Interesting how your "New Labour" comes out in proud Tory blue... Quite suitable, really...
colouration (again)
Chalky - your 'return from Cote D'azur colour' is me after stepping outside my front door in December! I burn so damned easy...
burn baby burn . . .
[AP] Then you'll be in need of Bob the dog's Nurse!!!
Codes and Code Looking
[Dujon] re: displaying codes as text; what you're after are a couple of HTML entities for the '<' and '>' characters - these are &lt; and &gt; respectively. The <tt> tage you mention only changes the typeface used to display the text, although I usually prefer to use <code> (as you will see if you view source). In summary, then:

You typeYou see
&lt;<
&gt;>
&amp;&
<tt>teletype text</tt>teletype text
<code>code sample</code>code sample

Note Be very careful with these - it is tremendously easy to miss out a semi-colon and completely wreck the effect. Use Preview if you can!

Yes I Do!
People seem to be missing the simulpost messages, so I guess I ought to check they're still being displayed.
Churn
And then...
It does...
Yeah, I guess that's not as in-yer-face as it could be.
darren brown
was it a trick??
Code breaking
[Dunx] Thanks - I did try the code tag but, because I did not use the commands for the greater than/less than, it obviously fell over. One lives and learns!
Look no stance!
The AVMA players may find it easier to be less chatty now - you can be stance-free if you're still managing to be apropos.
But I like standing!
See?

Stands

Arnie for president
snorgle]on Dujon's shoulders I see.
I'm not collecting them on purpose, honest.
As promised, another photograph; you have been warned. Huntsman. A small one. Note the different shape of the legs, much more crab-like.
Igitt!
Makes me really glad that I live somewhere boring like the UK. I would also wager that one of its legs is missing, and I'm not sure if I find that more or less preferable to a fully kitted-out version.
Incy wincy
Yes, it may harbour thoughts of revenge..
Half Mast
[rab] Nicely done on the greyed out links. I shall probably just remove them, I'm afraid.
Stunt double
I saw David Blaine in Tescos this morning. Do I win £5?
[flerdle,rab] "The spider we want is the one who tore off that leg."
arachnophobia
I didn't have it, but I do now! Yeeks! Please tell me such a thing has never been seen in good old blighty! Having just spent twenty minutes watching 'Infested', bugs are not on my hot list right now. Made the mistake of watching Life of Grime too - never again...
one, two, three, four, five, seven, eight
[rab] It's not unusual to see the odd 'peg leg' wandering around.

Which reminds me ...
At the risk of boring you to death. About six or seven years ago I was sitting in the 'bar' (actually the garage) of a mate's place and was positioned next to a largish double sliding glass door which gave access to the rear of the house. Whilst enjoying the afternoon sunlight beaming through the glass (that's the door, as well as the hand held one!) I noticed a wasp wandering up the pane. It was about 2" to 3" long and was dragging a huntsman spider up the door. I had heard of wasps paralysing spiders and laying their eggs within but had never seen the act. Anyway, interesting as that was at the time, some twelve months ago I had a wasp buzzing around in my workshop - it's not unusual and usually ignored - which finally got itself tangled in my hair (what's left of it.) Naturally I brushed it away. When I did it dropped its load; a load that I had not realized it was a'carrying. The bounty which it had lost landed on the keyboard of my computer which I was using at the time; it was the legless body of a huntsman! Urrgh! It turns out that the wasps paralyse the spiders, nibble off their legs at body level and then lay their eggs and secrete them within the little dirt cells that they build. It gave me the shivering quits for a couple of days, I can tell you.

beastly happenings
[Duj] Thanks for that. I suddenly find that I can't face my Weetabix this morning.
One potata
[Dujon] I refer you to my previous remark.
Oh my God!
[Dujon] That is possibly the most traumatic thing I have ever heard. Thank God that disgusting item didn't land IN YOUR HAIR. However, I was under the impression that the things that paralyse spiders and lay their eggs on them so that they get slowly devoured by grubs are not wasps but ichneumons, which look similar. Ordinary wasps, however, do carry body parts in the way you describe - I once watched a wasp attacking a bee, which it did by sitting on its back and systematically chewing through its thorax. When it finished it flew off with the abdomen - presumably the yummy bit - leaving the front half of the bee staggering around until I mercifully squashed it. Perhaps what you saw was the aftermath of a similar act of piracy. The mere existence of the ichneumon, by the way, was partly responsible for the Victorian "crisis of faith", because many found its existence impossibly to square with the notion of a good creator God. Incidentally, I will keep your anecdote for when I need to terrify my girlfriend. She refused to come to bed last night because a SMALL MOTH was sitting on the wall. Well, that's what she said anyway...
Poker
[Spiders] I see your spiders (*shudder*), and raise you The Japanese Spider Crab: The biggest crab is the Japanese Spider crab (Macrocheira kaempferi), which lives on the floor of the north Pacific Ocean; it has a 12 ft (3.7 m) leg span.
spiders and creepies and bugs, oh my!
[breadmaster] Moths are awful! Quite why they have to mistake my face for a lightbulb I will never know! [Nik] I hope it stays there!
MC
Incidently, why is no-one playing the long game any more? My move is there to be ridiculed/praised/gasped-in-awe at/smirked at/ruled illegal...
It's been a long long time. . .
[AP] The complexities of the long game can take some time to calculate. Moves can be irregular and often come in bursts. Yours was a cunning move and it took me some time to see a gap in the web of LV currents to make a move to benefit me.
MC
Oh, I am the veritable prince of cunning. 'Cept when I'm not.
Abso bloody lutely nothing.
I just came across this - fell off my chair; I don't know whether or not it's been done before but, if so, I have not seen it;

As found in the Canberra Times, Personals section...

'Wanted: A tall well built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

Interested? Then please only read
lines 1, 3 and 5; still interested?
Call me at...... ***********'

huh?
I'd heard of that sort of thing as a joke, but actually printing it... ??
Backdown
Yes, in hindsight I was somewhat carried away, flerdle. Please accept my sincerest apologies - I had no intention of offending anyone's sensibilites and will in future be a little more circumspect with my postings. Again, my apologies.
Wasp like insects
[Breadmaster] This fellow looks very like the beastie I saw carting the spider up the door glass - she was certainy an all-over orange in colour - particularly with the back lighting.

The one who, along with it's load, became entangled in my thinning thatch was more likely a black species which is common here. They have the typical dangling long legs as they aeronaut around the place and often pop into my workshop to pass the time of day.

not to worry
[Dujon] My comment wasn't directed toward you; I was surprised that the paper had done it.
Still embarrassed
Thanks, flerdle, but my comment still stands. Funny as I found it, this is not a pub.
Public house
[Dujon] I suspect that such a thing appearing in print would be impossible as an advertiser cannot predict how their copy will be presented. Unless it was one of the staff having a laugh. Meanwhile, I always thought this place had the ambience of a pub about it. I'm not sure I want to persue the analogy though...
hic
Otherwise, we'll never sober up.. btw, you didn't offend me, so don't be too embarrassed.
I'm offended though. Cooking frogs' legs...? ;-)
Can I have your glasses, please? At least you don't hear that here. :-)
Polititude
[Rosie] When was the last time you were in a bar where they're that polite? My favourite euphemism for f*** off out the door is "Can you start to think about making a move now please?". By the way, has the law on licensing hours been changed yet? Or will it retain forever the status of empty election promise?
*hanging tinsel round the crescent*
Yay! Its Christmas! Hurrah!
greetings from the cote d,azure
Posting from NIce on one of these strangely-arranged keyboards... having a lovely time :o)
penelope
Wahay :-). Are you a Nice colour?
Is this not a pub?
[pen] Any pics to prove your presence? :)
[Duj] I thought it was f***ing hilarious, really. :)
Licensing Laws
[rab] The bill to change the rules came before Parliament, but it was defeated for (IIRC) some trivial technical reason and time was not granted to try again. Apparently, fewer MPs care about reducing the amount of after pub violence than about banning fox hunting.
not gone totally crazy, yet!
Sorry about my previous outburst. The choir I'm in recorded a Christmas CD (in june?!?) and its been released, so I was happily transported to a Christmas world caused by listening to the disc. (And you can all buy it in the shops or on-line, www.halle.co.uk. It's called Christmas collection (rather uninspired, methinks) but is a jolly good CD). And by the way, advance warning, on sunday 19th october the Halle orchestra and choir are performing Brahm's German requiem. Looks set to be an excellent concert. (7.30pm, Bridgewater Hall, Manchester). Time to stop self promoting and get back to work.

[pen] Hope you're having lots of fun. Tis still rather windy here in the UK, so enjoy the pleasant climes!

I'll be in Manchester that evening. Unfortunately, I'm there to see Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure at 8pm in the Opera House.
Important astrologer
[Nik] Don't you like Dave Gorman? I'd happily swap places with you!
In the bleak midsummer...
[Lib] Oh the joys of recording - I've had to do that twice now, and it gets really wearing, especially if the weather's good. Last time we found and decorated a christmas tree to put in the chapel...
Fibs
I starting seeing Fibonacci numbers everywhere, which was nice for a while, but I then realised I made a mistake and they've gone again. It's still very rum though...
Jingle Bells
Christmas really has started too early this year. Debenhams were putting their decs for sale in August. :(
[UK] Ba-dum, tsch!
Fibs, fibs and more fibs
[rab] Rum indeed! Well, cheap plonk, really. Funny you should mention them though; I've just been doing a little bit of reading - mainly on the Golden Square/Ratio side of things. It's amazing where the things turn up in nature.
p.c.less
My home pc lost power on Tuesday, so no home surfing, Wednesday in for a new internal power supply. Took the pc home but the modem did not work, no surfing again, back to the shop. Several deep breaths and sighs later they came to the conclusion that it needed to be kept in overnight the problem being "It's a bit creaky" being a not to clued up on computers this tchno babble, I let them keep in. It worked fine when I bought it four years ago! (AMD500 with 64Mb RAM). No pc last night again. If it goes over the weekend I'll end up going cold turkey. My only consolation is here at the office which is for work purposes only.

Dujon]Golden square takes me back to my student days and the first year of my architecture degree and didactic patterns in nature. Including a day of research in the fine city of Bath.

Birthday
rab] Nice cake - it it an MC5 anniversary?
No
An act of pure self-indulgence on my part.
Cake with candles
[rab] oooh! Are you nine today?
Bring back Teddy!
...or ninty?
[Chalky] *blushes*

[Boolbar] Ninty? Sounds a bit like that Brazillian slang 'Pinto' to me. And just for you:

Happy Birthday
A wonderful day, dearest rab!
I hope the hangover is fab!
You'll drink the bar dry,
And (when pigs start to fly)
The uni will pick up the tab!
Many Happy Returns
Splendid. On a Friday aswell. Mine's a large brandy.
OK - self-disclosure alert. This astrology mallarkey. Received wisdom = it's a load of cobblers ... BUT - all the important people in my life [bar one and he's in January] have birthdays between mid - Sept and mid - Nov. Having just done the daughters, sister-in-law and a nephew in the last fortnight - next week it's my brother, a girly friend, two blokey friends and my boyfriend - all within 4 days. ALL these people live close by and warrant - nay, DESERVE more than just a card in the post. So many excuses to go to the pub. Oh yes, and the couple of weeks after - it's my late [God rest 'im] father, the french nephew and niece, another sister-in-law, another brother, my wonderful mother and the budgie ..... blah de blah de blah ....
So, rab, you're in fine company.
October babies
Is this sudden rush of birthdays anything to do with potential parents getting frisky (or very drunk) around Christmas, New Year and the beginning of Spring?
Felicitations
Many happy returns, Rab! [BtD] All of the best people are born in October!
Many happy returns of the day!
Salutations and many more rab!
birthdays
(Uncle K) Too true. Mother (still alive) and younger brother - 27 Oct. Niece 11 Oct. Not far away is other niece - 24 Sept, and me - 17 Nov when I move from a prodigiously multi-factored number to a prime number. Also 27 Oct are two other people I know plus the barmy Glenn Hoddle. None of this supports the idea that astrology is anything other than a compendium of testicular flummery. Anyway, Scorpios never believe in astrology, do they?
Happy returns rab
UK, Rosie] Gosh! Yes I've just checked. It seems that there is a suprisingly high rate of musical talent demonstrated by those born in October. There are also alot of Johns.
Persons of good reputation born in October and not called John: rab, Thom York, Bob Geldoff, Julian Cope, Mahatma Ghandi, Groucho Marks, Harold Pinter, Oscar Wilde
Persons of good reputation born in October and called John: John Lennon, John Cleese, John Keats, Johnny Marr
Persons of questionable reputation born in October:Jimmy Carter, Chris De-Burgh, Simon Le-Bon, Cliff Richard, Peter Stringfellow, Winonna Ryder and Margaret Thatcher
The conclusion? If you have a child in October, call it John.
Yeah, I was born in October too which proves that people of high musical talent come from that month.
I'm a September birthday, and I don't believe a word of my families nonsense about my singing.
qualititive survey
Oooh, I love lists. So far:

Rab - Oct 10
Incle Korky - Oct ?
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct ?
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept ?

any one else...?

October greats
me: Oct 16
Auntie Korky: Oct 20
Best friend: Oct 8
Best friend's cat: Oct 12
New next-door-neighbour: Oct 24

See you all next Monday (no net access at home, at the mo').
Ninty?
Ah, the missing "e". Oops! Happy Birthdaye Rab!
I'm a September Lad myself.
T-30 and counting
I can smell beer...
Returns
[Rab] Happy Birthday :oD
[All] Back from Nice - my cheeks still burning from this morning's sunshine. I'd recommend Nice in October - hot in the sun, cool in the shade, and warm enough to eat outside under a full moon on a rooftop terrace last night. There were people swimming au Mediterranée, although I didn't. I didn't take any photos, nor send any postcards, nor even buy souvenirs (unless you count bringing home brioche and black olive tapenade) but soaked up the smells and sounds. And I love just sitting outside, idly chatting and watching the world go by and drinking coffee...*sigh* :o)
A Merry Birthday, rab
pen] I have carefully resisted a pun about saying your holiday sounded "Nice".
Oops.
Birthdays
Mine was back in August (26th). I was away in Austria at the time. The landlady of the B&B I was staying in found it out (there was a place where, for identification purposes, I had to sign my date of birth) and presented me with a cake ;-)
bidet
Well, my birthdays June 28, my mother's June 24, and my (dec'd) maternal grandmother's was June 24 as well. My dad's is November 13, and he's a nasty alkie tosser..although his singing isn't bad..
June the twenty-odd
In my youth, I was thrilled to note that my paternal granfather's birthday was June 23rd, my paternal grandfather's was June 24th, and mine was the 25th. Simple things please simple minds, eh?
double up
[Tuj]Your father had 2 dads then? ;)
coinkydink
Well, I'm an October person (Next Sunday, since you ask - one or two of you may remember last October), and my good lady wife is June 24th. My children, thanks to careful planning (or random chance - take your pick) are November 5th and the 4th of July. They have fireworks on their birthdays.
more interuptions
A small beak in transmission whilst we pause slightly to salute snorgle in her historic run of being at No1 for 5 out of the last seven weeks in the Celebrity MC League
I am number one..again!
I thenk yew.. I'm stumped for who to go for now, though..
Beak?
There's a joke there somewhere but I'm damned if I can think of one right now. Well done snorgs.
Neb
[Chalky] Beak/snorgle/joke? I doubt it, I have never known her to be judgemental.
[snorgle] Well done! You must divulge your strategies when you finally pen your autobiography. ... ;-)
codicynces
I can immediately name at least seven people I know personally, with birthdays on the same day as mine. Oh, including me, of course. And I know I've forgotten one or two more. It's about five days over-long, but about when is Valentine's day again? :-D

This might interest some.

Oct 19?
Am I the only Piscean here (the name fits, by the way; as in 'drinks like a'.) Then again, I was born during WWII so I guess limited opportunities were presented! Incidentally, my family is all over the calendar; Mother 17 Nov., Wife 18 Nov. (Should I read something into that?) Siblings 3 Jan, 9 Sept. and 18 Dec.. Father 5 Oct., Paternal Grandmother 8 Oct., Maternal grandfather 9 Mar., Son 28 Jan, Daughter 26 Oct. Granddaughter 11 Aug. No pattern in that lot.
Mar 3
[flerdle] Interesting stats; However, during my life as a banker - which stretched over 26 years - in which time I interviewed innumerable people for account opening/loans and the like, memory tells me that I met 1 (one) person who had the same birthdate as myself - that is, the same month/day combination, not the year. I have always thought of that as statistically strange.
Hogging the cake.
[rab] Sorry, my friend, most remiss of me; happy birthday.
All alone
The only person I know who has the same birthday as mine is Eric Clapton. And I don't technically really know him. Spring seems to be a barren time when it comes to births. They say that on a football field there is a 50% chance that two of the 22 players will share a birthday, but someone better than me at adding will have to verify that.
Pisceans
[Duj] I'm a Pisces [24 Feb] therefore well out of kilter with the rest of my family/friends.
January
I am a Capricorn. But is there a statistical blip here in that so many MCers are experiencing birthdays around this time? Update of Chalkys list:
Rab - Oct 10
Uncle Korky - Oct 16
Rosie - Nov 17
Darren - Oct
Chalky's budgie - Oct 26
Inkspot - Sept
Watty - Oct
Boolbar - Sept
Joining the minority
I celebrate my birthday in March, could be wrong but I like it at that time of year! (And that makes me a self obsessed, competitive, headstrong aries!)
numbers
[BtD] Look at some of the other postings to find or work out several of the others here eg JLE, Watty, snorgle, Tuj, me... And I just remembered another person, so that makes 8 definitely on the same day as me. Is that some sort of record? I don't think I know a thousand peoples birthdays. It's too late to think about this, though. Neeed sleeeeeep...
[Breadmaster] See here for an explanation of that.
Footballers' birthdays
(Breadmaster) Very nearly right. You need 23 people, so add in the ref. The chances for 22 people are 47.6%, and for 23, 50.7%. With 50 people the chances are 97.0% and, needless to say, with 365 it's 100%. None of this takes into account those unfortunates born on 29 Feb in a leap year.
Taurus - Apr 27
Lilith the Psychotic Ferret, as we can figure out, is an Aquarius (we think she was born late January-early February)...what that means for ferrets, God only knows. :)
ferret signs
Ferrets probably have their own astrological signs..Trouser Leg, Screaming Rabbit, etc.
a perfect match
I torched a load of very dry hedge clippings today - there's nothing quite so good for the soul as a smoking and roaring great bonfire and hearing the neighbours spluttering as they rush to bring in the washing from the clouds of billowing smoke. And don't tell me about dioxins and furans and the products of incomplete combustion - I know. But unlike my neighbours ( I know what they ate just about every weekend this summer - I could always smell it cooking), I haven't had a barbecue for two years and so I reckon I'm entitled. :o)
cheeky!
Did you start the fire after they put their washing out? I hate it when people do that..
pre-wash
[Snorgle] Of course I lit it after they put their washing out! What neighbour would put out their washing after I lit a fire? Are you one of those neighbours who waits until I've lit a fire before they put out their washing and then complains when it smells of smoke? I hate it when people do that!! ;o)
wishy washy
On speaking terms with your neighbours then? :P

I suppose it depends how long their washing was out. If it was a while, then fair enough.

Persinally, I use Persil. Wonderful for those hard-to-shift bonfire stains . . .
i like goats
Get a goat. It can then eat the evidence.
Each which evidence? The bonfire or the clothes?
I'm a noxious neighbour - not many people know that
Oh dear - I'm not as inconsiderate as all that! The fire lasted about 20 minutes - I put it out once it had all burned away and the smoke cleared pretty quickly. I use Tesco's own label non-bio. It smells nicer than Persil (and I used to be a Persilite).
Are goats good to eat?
Goats' cheese is good.
Goat Stew
Pen] Yes - goats are very good to eat and I recommend them. They are used quite a lot in West Indian recipes. They taste a bit like strong lamb.
"Blow wind, and crack your cheeks..."
Just a little anecdote, since we were talking about birthdays, and this was brought to mind by a comment rom Rosie in the Mini Cheddars game. As those of you who are observant will already have noticed, my birthday falls on Oct 16. Back in 1987, this was the night of the Great Storm. Co-incidentally, also my 18th birthday. I was kept awake all night by roof tiles clattering groundwards and then smashing on the driveway, but at least I had the good news in the morning that, because of the weather disruption, all schools were closed! Whoopee!
My mother also told me that, when she was a little girl, her mother had told her that if she had been good all year, it would be sunny on her birthday, and if she had been bad, it would rain. She then looked me square in the eyes and said "What did you do?!"
Goats' cheese is NOT good
This has been a running debate between myself and my inlaws who are, notably, French. They are of the opinion that goats cheese is something wonderful. Indeed, how could anyone NOT like it? In fact, they like it so much that when they order a pizza, they make sure that there are 5 or 6 good dollops of goats cheese on top. I hold the considered view that it smells and tastes like vomit.
[Hux] I have to agree. My brother has lived in France for most of his adult life. At his wedding feast in June, French cheese was in abundance as one would expect. There must have been at least 20 varieties - all beautifully presented. I was persuaded to try the goat's cheese - it tasted like a farmyard and seemed to ferment inside me for at least 2 days - every burp, yeuch!
Spooky
Just turned on This Morning with Fern & Phil. What are they tasting? Chuffing Goat's Cheese! [Fern doesn't like it].
Who the heck
In an attempt to remain open minded (palletted?) and under the assumption that it must be "something of an aquired taste", I do try to force it down me once in a while... the taste remains unacquired.

ps. I don't know who "Fern & Phil" are. I thought it was Richard and Judy.
Say Cheese!
Goats cheese is good! Delicious, great on pizzas and unlike some cow cheeses doesn't taste or smell of vomit. Sheeps cheese is not so tasty - sort of smells like the wrong end of a baby. Haven't tried Llama cheese yet.
Rotted milk
Cheese is Evil.
cheesy peas!
[Raak]Probably, but I like it. Cream cheese, cheddar cheese, Emmental, Swiss cheese, soft cheese with garlic and herbs.. yum! I eat way too much of the stuff.
Dairy good
I have to agree with Boolbar. Goat’s cheese is wonderful. If you want a mild variety, make sure the milk has come from a virgin goat (you often get virgin milkers) that has been nowhere near a billy - 'cos it is the billy that has that musky goat aroma. Virgin goat’s cheese is sweeter and creamier than cows milk cheese. More natural and stronger varieties are more to my taste - especially the Brie style (I know some wonderful goats cheese folk in Worcestershire). These are especially good with fresh herbs (mint, dill etc) or deep-fried. Is it lunchtime yet?
I agree with Raak. Who was it who let their milk stand until it was all lumpy, and said, "I know! I'll drain off the liquid, mash all the chunks together, and eat the smooth firm paste that results."? Probably the same person who thought yoghurt looked yummy. Yoghurt is yummy, of course, but you wouldn't think it.
Sheepishly...
I went to see an early Genesis tribute band last night and really enjoyed it. Confession over.
Sorry Breadmaster - Simulposted and unacknowledged. Still disagree - cheese - especially traditional hand made stuff - is the staff of life.
more confessionals ...
[Bob the dog] If it's the same band that I saw earlier this year [Re-Genesis?] I don't blame you. Also - The Australian Pink Floyd are quite amazing.
Phew!
Chalky] Thank you! No, it was The Garden Wall and they did an exact reproduction of the Selling England tour. Apart from a slightly dorky 'Peter Gabriel' it was wonderful. I may even go to see them again in a few weeks time when they come to Birmingham. They are Italian - I believe. Recommended - if you like that sort of thing.
if you like that sort of thing
and oddly, I recommend it if you don't. I didn't think I did any more, but that early prog rock stuff was written to be performed so seeing it live added a whole new dimension for me. It was like some bizarre historical re-enactment society, but extremely entertaining.
Musical Box
[BtD, etc.] Anyone interested in a decent evening of prog would do well to get their bottoms down to the Astoria in Tottenham Court Road in a month's time. The two-day Progeny festival sees IQ headlining on Sat 15 Nov (supported by Pallas and Carl Palmer), and The Enid the following night. I'll be there for IQ, if anyone fancies coming along...
Prog
I'm a bit of a prog nut myself - Yes are my thing. Coincidently my tickets for the NEC in June 2004 arrived in the post this morning! I have always rated Pallas and IQ as well (much better than their contemporaries Marillion), but can't make it to London that weekend.
Cinema Show
UK/Big] also unavailable on that date. Saw the Enid many moons ago and was singled out in the audience for being the "Punk with a chinsey ear-ring". Suprised that IQ still going! They were the good Genesis clones (as opposed to Marrilion) I seem to remember (agree Bigsmith). Have you heard any Tetra Splendour? Gutsy modern music with the odd Prog twist.
Awake & Nervous
IQ are indeed still going strong, and I was able to be at their 20th anniversary concert in London back in December 2001. They're currently working on a new album, and also have an excellent DVD out of their stage show, Subterranea. Further info can be gleaned from www.gep.co.uk/iq
I've recently been getting into Spock's Beard, an American prog group who are being hailed as 'the Yes of the 21st Century'. I would comment, but I'm not yet familiar with Yes past Owner of a Lonely Heart...
Frank Chickens
There now follows a chicken update...
A quick bit of background for those of you who have not followed the progress of the Mornington chickens. Earlier this year I bought three chickens and named them after regular mc5 users Penelope, flerdle and Lib. flerdle laid the first egg.
Well since my last news update, little has happened except the chickens have grown, got red wattles and begun being allowed out into the garden. They love it, especially if I'm digging as they take great pleasure in grubbing freshly turned soil. They run to see me whenever I'm in the garden and will leap for anything you are carrying that looks vaguely like chicken food. I have three big vines in the garden (very fine crop this year) that still have some grapes left over. The chickens will jump two or three feet to get at the bigger grapes higher up.
In return for the grapes, they have laid about two eggs every three days consistently since flerdles first egg, but now things are moving up a gear. On Sunday we had two eggs in one day. Today we have already had three, one of which is huge (oddly zeppelin sized – and shaped). Anyone need any eggs?
boc boc boc
That poor hen! I could use some eggs, but I don't think posting them is a good idea.. :)
With apologies to non-cheese eaters, but - Mmmm... goat cheese. My mouth is watering at the thought of it.

I had a very good goat cheddar from Sainsbury's a few years ago. Excellent, sad I haven't seen anything like it here yet.

What animal's milk is Haloumi from? I know it tastes yummy!
Lib] Haloumi, like Feta should be from sheeps milk, but if you buy a mass produced product it is more likley to be made from cows milk.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
Try Seriously Strong Cheddar - it's the absolute best - it won a prize and everything!
cheese - cheering
I'm going to nominate a mature cheddar-like cheese, made from unpasteurised milk, called Lincolnshire Poacher and made by a friend of a friend. I think it's available all over the country now. Yum :o)
More cheese, gromit
Gjetost for me - Norwegian goats milk cheese.
the "Laundry/ProgRock/Cheese" game
I think a mature creamy Stilton takes a lot of beating.
pennylopie] sounds scrumptious! French cheeses are simply out of this world... my personal favs are St. Nectaire, St. Emilion, and roquefort. Hmmm, I think I'll stop by a fromagerie and boulangerie on the way home tonight and pick up an nice Sancerre rouge while I'm at it!
Hoorah!
*Withdrawl symptoms over*
Curdled milk fetish
Speaking as someone who always ensures a well-stocked cheeseboard at Christmas, my favourites are Ilchester Cheddar Mexicana, Monterey Jack, Mature Cheddar with Caramelised Onions, Y Fenni, and Jarlsberg. On the subject of goats' cheese, I've used small circles of it to good effect, served upon griddled lamb cutlets with red wine gravy.
the important words ...
in all this are 'made from unpasteurised milk'. S'bury's do really quite good unpasteurised cheddar; and an awesome Brie de Meaux (which always makes me chuckle, because it often appears on the bargain-basement-'cos-it's near-its-sell-by-date-and-we're-afraid-of-bugs-and-lawyers shelf - at exactly the time when it is ready to eat and they could, if they wished, charge more for it ...).
Brie de Meaux
[Wol] Is that made from cats milk?
mews
No, you're thinking of Cheshire.
Broardcasting from the depths of Cheshire
[Wol] Friends lead me to believe that Cheshire cheese is actually made from wall paper paste, with a little plaster of Paris mixed in.....*Lib saunters off in the general direction of the supermarket wondering which cheese she'll buy today*
Cheese, and why you should all shut up about it
I'm a big lover of cheese. I'm also on a diet. The two, obviously, do not mix. For the first couple of months, I stuck to my "I'd rather have none than 'low-fat cheese'" guns, but it couldn't last. Thankfully, Tesco do have a "cheese" which - if you close your eyes, hold your nose and think about something else - could be mistaken for a medium-mature cheddar. Unless you heat it (you don't heat it).

I was in Cheddar a couple of months ago, and was forced to go into The Real Cheddar Cheese Company shop, and ended up with a (thankfully small triangle of) vintage cheddar, and it was delicious (in far-too-small portions). I miss (full-fat, creamy, hand-made, farmhouse) cheese (feta, cheddar, cheshire, wensleydale, lancashire, double gloucester, red leicester among... well, more varieties than that). I miss it badly.

thin cheese
[Nik] erm... try the Atkins diet? Then you could eat cheese 'til it comes out of your ears.
Cheesy Cheesy
[Nik] My sympathies. I'm in the invidious position of (1) being overweight and needing to cut down on fats; and (2) being a vegetarian whose primary source of protein is cheese. Tricky. My usual solution is to exercise more, but I can't even run at the moment because of a persistent knee injury. Quite frustrating.

[UK] You confuse me. Most of the cheeses you list are of the highest quality, but then you have Monterey Jack on your cheese board? Maybe the Jack you buy is better than the pappy Jack we can get here... is it dry Jack?

F-Atkins
[penelope] you mentioned the Atkins Diet ... in such a way that you *might* know how effective it is? Having been a very average 5' 6" size 12 for most of my adult life - I now find myself getting quite plumptious and can't be bothered to go to a Slimming Club.
Never mind, Chalky, I doubt you're as overweight as I am!
Atkins
It may work fast but it makes your breath smell.
Cheese
You want the good stuff, I suggest you get it cave matured. Yummy!
cave matured cheese
hardly low fat though is it? There must be diet cheese somewhere that doesn't taste of plastic!
Cardboard etc.
My good wife purchases low salt, low fat dairy products - including yoghurt. I flatly refuse to eat them (yes, I have tried each one!) so the 'fridge has his and hers compartments. ... :-)
Pseudonyms?
Is this "Come As Someone Else Day", or are we being hit with a pseudonym bomb?
Alias or Alien?
Dunno, DrQ. I've just come back to the site after watching strange things popping up here and there and everywhere about an hour ago.
Timing
Err, to pin it down for any reader, it's just after 0235 GMT as I type.
die(t) trying
[Chalky] Re: Atkins diet - I've read the book, tried it for a week or so... and while in principle it works by converting your body's metabolism to that of a starving person living off their fat reserves (David Blaine could be considered to be an Extreme Atkins Dieter), it's bloody hard to keep it up - and you do need lots of mineral and vitamin pills to pop and test-papers to wee on to make sure you're maintaining a state of ketosis. Slimming World do a slightly less extreme low-carb version (as opposed to Atkins' No-carb) which I successfully followed for a couple of months and dropped at least a dress size. Why not attend a slimming club just for a couple of weeks to get all the books, literature and a few recipes, then do the rest on your own? That's what I did. (Well, in fact I nicked one of the books while I was a reporter covering the town's Slimmer of the Year... so in fact I never went to a class at all). Alternatively, learn to love your curves and go for a half-hour stomp every night instead. :o)
Pseudonyms
Or there could simply be an abundance of new users...
Dieting
Whereas Weight Watchers is initially boring but much better for you. Do that, it lost me weight. And I also recommend stomping :)
Atkins
[pen] I'd rather try slicing my limbs off, since that's both less likely to kill me, and more likely to result in a stable weight afterwards.
dreaming
[DrQu+xum]Did you have a nightmare?
WW
[X, p, et al] Weightwatchers is what I'm doing, and last night I beat 5st 7lb after 8.5 months. Apart from the kaeselust, it's quite enjoyable, really. My diet is far better than it has ever been since I left home 9 years ago (and probably better than before then as well), and recently I added some exercise as well. At £4.75/week for the weighing (and optional chat/class afterwards that I never stay for), it's not cheap (especially when you need to lose 7 stone to become a Gold - non-paying - member), but they give out lots of helpful literature, and above all else it's a sane diet, which is why I've bothered with it at all.

More importantly than all this, I'm glad to see my DSL chose to remain alive this morning, after I forgot yet again to make sure it was okay when I left the house.

WW
Hurrah!
Pseudonyms
How do I know you're not all the same person?
strangers
Has anyone seen St Dogmael?
St Dogmael
A film or a person? *wears D hat for not knowing*
the saint
A person. Who usually posts on various MC boards.
st d
snorgle] He hasn't been on MC5 for ages, but I know he is a very regular contibutor to MCiOS and occasionally Orange too. I have seen him in the flesh - if that is what you mean, but not recently. He appears to be pretty normal to me - he has a very quick wit and is an excellent photographer.
Diet
Oh and Nik - well done!
Back to st dog
snorgle] You are right, I've just checked MCiOS and he has not posted in ages - last time was probably on Hyperlink Crescent. If you are suggesting that he is responsible for the sudden burst of odd pseudonyms, I think not. His sense of humour is too advanced.
Meeow
*Gives St Dogmael a virtual poke*
being virtually poked
ouch !
Sleep.
[snorgle] No, but I think I OD'd on Mountain Dew yesterday. I got 3.5 hours of sleep.
od
[DrQu+xum]Isn't that a sort of neon greenish yellow? I wonder if it stains your insides? You have probably gone over your lifetime safe amount of crinoline yellow or whatever the hell it is. Go on a detox diet immediately! Only raw vegetables and fruit juices for you - (and no Sunny Delight doesn't count!)
[Dr Q] Ooh - rampant jealousy! I haven't seen Mountain Dew on sale in the UK for years!

[Dunx] I usually buy my Monterey Jack straight off the deli counter at my local Tesco's. It's got a consistency that I con only describe by comparing it to Edam, but slightly creamier and a bit wobbly. I was amused to note that the label promotes it as an all-American cheese - made in Wales.
Mountain Dew
Never had the stuff. I nearly had some when they had a free sample desk up several years ago in a midlands University, but when I asked what it tasted like, the bloke behind the stand looked at me like I was an idiot and said 'like mountain dew, of course'. Since I didn't want to drink something that tastes of acid rain and goat's piss, I declined to sample any of Mr Miserable's wares. So, does it taste like acid rain and goat's piss?
being poked
schnorkle] so did you want anything then, or were you just wanting to wake me up ?
Mountain Dew
What is it?
owoooooooooo
[st dogmael]Just wondering where you had got to..
[Blue Bananas]A flavoured soft drink. As to what the flavour is, who knows? At least Irn Bru has real iron in it and tastes metallic.
Americana
[UK] Ah - it sounds like the wet stuff, but much more flavourful than the usual run of Jack you get at the supermarket. It is possible to buy cheese which tastes of something, but tasteless, plasticky pseudo-cheese is endemic.

Re: Mountain Dew - tried it once, I didn't like it. It's approximately orange flavoured, but it has a lot of caffeine in it. I managed to drink half a can before I got a splitting headache. I threw the rest away.

Foo!
Mountain Dew is neon yellow/green with large amounts of citric acid and caffeine. It's kick-ass, I tell you! KICK ASS! YEAHYEAHYEAH! *given a sedagive* Yes.
So, sort of like (soi-disant) Sunny Delight, then?
fluids
Sunny Delight is EVIL JUICE and should be outlawed. [Blue Bananas] I know that's you making with the pseudonyms - cut it out!
[Angus] I think s/he thinks it's funny.
Offended
Twas a temporary thing trying to find one I liked. But I like Blue bananas best.
Annoying everyone
Sorry about that. I'm only little, and therefore forgivable.
more guv'
Arnie becomes the £900 celebrity and showing no slowdown
Blue Banana]Hi and welcome to the Mornington community.
More offensive
[Angus Prune]OOh! How did you know?

I got this sent to my hotmail account -

Hi, Thank you for submitting your e-mail address to various SPAM companies, courtesy of The Official David Blaine website, www.davidblaine.com. Your e-mail address alone provided us with 0.5 cents, which, when you think about it, is $1k for every 200,000 addresses. So, thanks for adding to the FoB - Funds of Blaine. While I'm here, kudos to Mr Blaine on his recent trial, and all the English that do various, drunken things in front of poor Blainey, to try to cause a little havoc... well, you all suck. Go find something sensible to do, and stop wasting your lives. Yours, The Official David Blaine Society, together with over 2000 various mailing lists who now have your e-mail address.

Cheeky, or what? As its an e-mail address I use to sign up for any old rubbish, I don't really mind, but the nerve of some people! I was wondering at the sudden recent influx of pr0nographic spam, though. And what GIMP came up with that insulting simulpost message? SLAP!!!

Strange fruit
Blue Bananas] Hi and welcome.
snorgle] A gimp in a perspex box.
[Blue Bananas] Well, OK, maybe I leapt down your throat there, and sorry for that.
Records (Not LPs, EPs or such)
Is this some sort of record? Every single game has been 'activated' during the day of 15th October; amazing!
Spring, sprung and stuff
I have just come back into the workshop after hanging out the washing - what an absolutely magnificent day. The bees (not the honey-bees or bumble bees) are busy rubbing themselves gleefully against the buds of things to come on the ornamental vine which covers the pergola at the back of my house - the sun beams down like a pontiff in a trance - the birds are a'singing and sound far better than a soprano; all is well in this part of the world. Time I think for a couple of glasses of cheap white. This is one of those days (so far) when you wouldn't be dead for quids.
Chatty, again.
Mainly for Rosie - unless there are other weather freaks on this site: 23.5°C - around 45% humidity - cloud one octer (if that) - wind chill; forget it - Barometer about 1002/3. I very rarely partake of a midday meal but, today, I am sorely tempted to sit on the back balcony and just eat the day.
Well there's win and not win.
Sky - now 7 octers+, washing in, luncheon deferred. I thought you'd be really interested ... :-) ... :-(
am, am
Warm here, sky clouding over; 24 (falling) and 49% here, 1018, slight breeze, normal for about this time of year; can see some rain off in the distance (past Mt Cootha, to the north-northwest) but doubt we'll get any. [Dujon] Wotsan octer?
Octopusses
[flerdle] 1 octer = 1 eighth (of the visible sky) cloud cover; the spelling I'm not sure of - I'm not even sure if it has a correct one, though undoubtedly it does.
Slight harrumph, since we're just at the end of a day of persistent autumnal rain (incidentally, this is one definite reason why I frown upon the use of "fall" to describe the name of the season after summer, because the word "autumnal" becomes suddenly less current), but then we are six months out of phase and this is to be expected. More rain tomorrow, I understand.
... and pretty much eight octers all day, of course.
Insulting
[snorgle, re Preview+Simulpost] The message was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but seeing as you've objected I've toned it down now. Not impressed at being called a gimp in such large letters though.
less insulting?
[rab]I was just replying as per the spirit of the message! I withdraw my GIMP remark..
Fairy Nuff
Luckily you didn't point out the even more embarrassing grammatical error - which now too has been excised. Play on!
heated debate
Ooo-er! I've never seen the Preview+Simulpost message, and am unlikely to now it's been 'toned down'. Shame. I like toned up stuff.
Crowded, isn't it?
What's an octer? I like rain. It's so melancholy and atmospheric. And you can think that if it were a lot colder it would be snowing. This is my favourite time of year: summer definitely over, winter to come (with the faint but tantalising possibility of snow), blue skies with frost underfoot and golden leaves falling, and Bonfire Night coming up, with Christmas on the way. Can't be beaten!
AUTUMN
[BM] Absolutely agree! I've even been known to break out in poetry at this time of year ...
painful poetry
Ooh! Sounds nasty - is it painful?

My poetry is painful
The use of time not gainful
For the looks I get are baneful
And say that it is awful!

Fall or nothing
I too enjoy Autumn - it makes the neighbours retreat inside with their getto blaster. Horrah!
Missing "H"
Ooops!
Swan-upping and leaving
There are numerous pairs of beautiful swans gracing the rivers and tributaries that lace our city centre and for the most part, are much cherished by the community. However, it's THAT time of year now ... when the grown-up swans start 'chasing' away the teenage cygnets. I was watching them this morning. They really DO shooh them away with a " get out into that big wide world, sow a few wild oats and find yourself a decent partner-for-life!" No consideration for the lack of flight practice or incomplete plumage, which is still a bit grubby looking. Oh - those poor cygnets! They mistake roads and paths for rivers and try to land, often killing themselves in the process, but more often causing mayhem, be it within their small brain or amongst the traffic. Bless them.
Weather
What's wrong with snow? You try skiing on drizzle.
It's hard work... really!
Chalky just won a round "Animal-Vegetable-Mineral-Abstract" and I must say that it's quite tiring work holding the chair. But at least I get to do some work now. Also, I was rather hoping that Wol would win (he was so close too) as he was very sporting about the previous photo-finish
question count
Yes - it took 67 questions before the correct answer. I did warn you all, when the game was mooted, that it IS time-consuming being in the chair which makes me wonder if I can 'service' another go so soon after my last one. Especially as it appears I have to undertake yet another of those tiresome gender realignments that seem to plague my on-line existence :-)
Chalky, I beg your forgiveness, really, I do... I blame society!
Yes, I may not even enter the fray on the next round just in case I win again.
utter forgiveness
[Hux] .. please don't beg! [mind you - I had to do the same with Raak after my last victory. Anyone seen him? If he appears I might just gift him this one]. My gender realignment comment was very tongue-in-cheek - not easy to convey on screen [see my posting in AVMA].
Hilarity
I thank parents everywhere who endow their young with wacky and not normally used first names. The only pleasure I get from marking 'homework' is when I come to completing the official sheets which has such names displayed in full resplendence.
Names
So that's why young Xerxes Finbar Ibid keeps claiming the teacher is laughing at him...
naming of the parts
[Ibid] And you should take care of backwards spellings too... imagine being lumbered with Dibi Rab Nif Sex Rex... Or is it just my brain that works this way?
The onset of evil Winter
[Bm] matt's told you before about airing such perverted views in public fora. Kindly desist! *turns up heating and pretends it's sunny*
Names
[pen] Possibly. Of course, google is now going to lead some people to get some odd ideas about rab...
Jack Frost
[Projoy] You can't silence us that easily!
[penelope] My brain does that too. Every word I hear, I mentally reverse. Og ouy ereht os.
Rain and odd ideas
I like rain, and confuse my hosts whenever I'm in a warmish, dryish country (say, the South of Germany) and run outside as soon as the heavens open. [Ibid] I'm sure people have enough odd ideas about me already... and this posting won't have helped.
DRAWKCAB
[pen, BM] I remember rolling about the floor laughing when my father called Val Doonican - Nacinood Lav! I was young. It's stayed with me though and I still call Star Trek - Kert Rats. I'm also quite fluent at joined-up backwards writing [mirror writing] but I'm a calligrapher so I s'pose that's not too unusual.
sinister
The only backwards thing I can do easily is the writing - with my non-dominant left hand. I also find it easier to do if I'm writing with my right hand at the same time..
Dexterity/ytiretxed
I used to enjoy mucking around with the 'mirror' writing when I was a bit younger than I am now. Still, living in the southern hemisphere perhaps enhances the skill?
retsinis
Ah, the fun we had playing with each other's names spelled backwards... [Chalky] a calligrapher? I did calligraphy O level (an 'A', natch!). My handwriting used to be pretty spectacular but it has gone downhill ever since - I blame it one reporting on town council meetings and magistrates courts without bothering to learn shorthand.
[dominance] My right side is *so* dominant... I even find it difficult to kick a ball or take a step downstairs if I have to use my left foot first.
Although right handed, I can use a computer mouse with either hand. In fact I can use two computer mice at once on two different computers. I can write better with my right foot than my left hand though.
Handwriting
[epolenep] Yes - calligrapher, although I do lots of other stuff with lettering aswell - hotel/pub signs, blackboards [hence the Chalky moniker] although I haven't used actual chalk for years. It was the '0' level that started me off aswell - but this is the first time in my life I've 'done it for a living'. After college in London, my career was in publishing, broadly speaking. My name, backwards, is very Russian.
Left vs Right
My ex-boss was a left-handed mouser despite being a right-hander since he claimed that it was more natural to type with one's right hand.
You're supposed to type with both hands.
typing
I was going to say that!
snorgs - get back into AVMA!!
innerestin
I am reasonably ambidextrous, although my right hand has had many more years practice at writing than my left. If I draw with my left hand, it's a little slower and less steady, but the emotional content of the drawings can be quite, how to say, extraodinary. I use a mouse with my right hand at work and my left at home. No particular reason. I have no eye dominance either.
[snorgle] That's cos we're symmetrical. There's a whole area of visual and developmental therapy about that sort of thing - why it's easier to mirror actions than translate from one side of the body to the other.
[Dujon] dunno. I've never actually bothered, believe it or not.
[rab] Fascinating. I know people who must listen to the phone with their right ear, to the extent that when they have to write something down, they have to do this weird crossover thing to hold the phone there.
[typing] I'm soooo glad I learnt to touch-type in high school. It saves a lot of time.
and one other thing before I go back to marking #*@$^%& assignments...
[Chalky] Here, "Chalky" is a nickname for schoolteacher. Like Brickie for builder/builder's labourer, Sparky (electrician), Chippy (carpenter)...
He was always a backwards boy...
I can still sing a fair chunk of Waltzing Matilda backwards (I believe this originally came from a character in one of the later series of the Adventure Game)
Stuff
(Dujon) It's oktas, old son. None here for several days. Water shortage next year unless we get a soaking wet winter, at least in the SE. (flerdle) One of my teachers was nicknamed Chalky, but his name was White. We also had Pinhead. We used to recite "we call him Pinhead because he is bald and his name is Steele". Taught maths; a nice man. A mate married his daughter. (re sinisterity) I'm totally southpaw, except for mouse, scissors, toothbrush and bumwipe. RH is stronger, LH cleverer. BTW an anagram of my name is "rough stud, he". I wish. :-)
anagrams
I'm rubbish at anagrams. I either get them right away or not at all!
shibbur
[Anagrams] Ain't that the way... an anagram of my name is 'Just When I Rent It' and my father's (much to my mother's amusement) worked out to be 'Rich Tart When Rid'.
[Sinisterity] Mouse, Scissors, Toothbrush, Bumwipe?!!! *chortle* Word disociation, unless I'm mistaken!
anagrams
An anagram of my name - 'THE VODKA PANTRY' - seems I can't get away from the Russian connection. Incidentally, never touch the stuff.
[penelope] Wot! your name's not penelope?!?
My name doesn't anagram well; probably one of the best is "Razz arid nerd"
anagrams?
Most anagrams of my name look like Rambling Syd Rumpo songs...I blame the four Gs.
Here's one
"Leg ringer - glory jog"...which is a euphoric dance done after getting Shane Warne, Richie Benaud, or JLE to be on your club XI. :)
Puzzlers
Here I am trying to guess all your real names and can only conclude you're a rather bizarrely monikered bunch what with Horst de Ughu (Rosie) and Petra van Kodthy (Chalky) in our midst. Mind you, that Dexter 'Anal' Relhirdy-Bach sounds like a dubious character...
anagramattic
I can only offer Large parrot ambush...
'Daq Update
Ahnold has hit £1k/share....gaaah!
Large parrots
[GIII] Now that one is easy to decode...
Anagram names
I've never worked out an anagram of my name. But from the evidence given, I suspect the real name of "penelope" to be Justine, with Richard being her father's (surname eight letters: E,H,I,N,R,T,T,W in alphabetical order). Not sure about Chalky but she could well be a Kathryn (remaining surname letters A,D,E,O,P,T,V). Graham (surname from A,B,E,L,O,P,R,R,S,T,U, unless you've used a middle name as well) and Darren (surname, if this is to be believed, from A,D,I,R,Z,Z) may be using their real first names here. Not sure about Rosie, but s/he could be a Hugh (remaining surname letters D,E,O,R,S,T,U)...

Anybody got a good anagram for "Jonathan Ellis"?

Handedness: I'm right-handed in most things, but ambidextrous when piano-playing or trying to catch things one-handed. Can't throw or write left-handed. Feet are not so much ambidextrous as ambi-sinister (equally incompetent with both, when playing football), and I think I favour my left eye more than my right.

Real names?
Pen: I believe you are right.
Chalky: Dunno.
G3: Dunno.
Darren: Not a clue.
Rosie: He. Sorta close.
You: the best I come up with is "Johann Ale List"....
[JLE] Using ag(), the best I can get is "jail tonal hens", "Jean halts lion", "jeans halt lion", "join Hell, Satan", "hasten, join all", "jeans into hall", and "shallot in Jean".
My name has four H's and 9 vowels vs. 17 consonants so it's practically impossible to get anything.
Marks out of five?
Darren's surname seems likely to be Izzard. I can see why it's a bugger to anagram. Penelope's is trickier- all those consonants. I'm going to go for 'Whittern', as the most likely of an unlikely bunch of alternatives ('Penelope Threwtin', anyone?) Graham is indeed, I think, using a middle name. After a long blind alley in which I was convinced his surname was either Butler, I'm now going with 'Graham Paul Roberts' If Rosie is indeed named Hugh, his surname might be 'Stroude'. But from Dr Q's comment, I suspect s/he isn't. Maybe by 'sorta', Dr Q was hinting that the surname is Hugh, or more likely Hughes. But that leaves a pretty odd bunch of letters to make a first name out of- is there such a first name as 'Tudor'? Finally, I don't think Chalky's name is Kathryn, since we have the additional clue that spelt backwards it looks Russian. I therefore suggest she is that well-known Muscovite 'Yhtak Tropnevad', otherwise known as Kathy Davenport.
Proof Reading
Ahem. Either Butler or Porter. Not just 'either of these two butlers'.
granamas
Jonathan Ellis? Hmmm... how about 'Jeans Hit Noll', 'Ah Jell in Snot', 'Halt Sloe Jinn', 'All Hens Joint'or even 'Anal Hens I Jolt'? I could go on, but I won't - I'll just point you here.
I'm useless
by 'here, I meant - http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html
revealed
[Prof Plum] Smartarse. And have you Googled me too?
Well, Prof, it's not that hard to deduce my name as I already gave it away in Orange some time ago!!! My anagram software of choice is Anagram Genius which is absolutely superb. They also make Crossword Maestro which solves cryptic crossword clues. (And no, I didn't use it to solve Wol's, in case you're wondering!)
Anagrams again
I think I'll adopt "Join Hell, Satan" as my Official Anagram ;-)
[Darren] I'm flattered you thought it might be necessary! Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm ADDIIIKLLNVW. But there's a clue somewhere in the archives.
Another way to find our real names
[Prof Plum] Try the old PantsMC Profiles.
Half a quarter
[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification - I've only ever heard the word and never read it. I was going to check but became sidetracked and then forgot. Interesting that your right hand is the stronger even though you are basically left handed. My wife and son are both a bit of each. The son writes left handedly but does many right handed movements - including eating. My wife on the other hand (sorry!) eats back to front but writes with her right hand - perhaps as a result of the inconsiderate influence of school teachers in days of yore.
Mix and Match
Incidentally, Rosie, your name could be altered to 'Hough duster' which, I suppose, would indicate that you may be a butcher's assistant?
Names
My name actually is Breadmaster. You can imagine the ribbing I got at school.
Anagrams
(Prof Plum) 5 out of 5 for your final guess. Unfortunately, a further anagram is "oh, huge turds". (The best type, in my experience). (Dr Q) Can't figure out your surname, even if I've got your first name right. Is it British-ish?
Named!
[Rosie] No, Dad's side is German.

[BM] Were you baked? :)
I win
I BET you can't guess my name. Anagram is 'I am a ferret penn'. I'll check in and see how you're getting on ;)
[Bm] Is that why your publisher insisted on "Hill" as a pseudonym?
prunings
Ian Prefenmater?
[Angus] How about "Anne-Marie Petfer" or "Ferna P. Tremaine" or "Farmer Pete Nani" or "Martin A. Penfree" or "Nate F. Repairmen"?
[Angus] Ian Peter Freman?
I think I did this before...
CMd; dCM; dMC; MdC; McD. Oh. You mean real names...
There's nothing quite like...
Hm. McD kind of suits you, CdM.
Pseudonymous writes
[Raak] That's right, the unimaginative fools.
So they called you Breadmaster Hill then?
There ought to be a prize if anyone managed to get my name out of "OUI A MANGLED WIG".
blaine
Well, Blaine's out now, so hopefully I'll make some dosh on celebdaq. I found it odd, though, that he sounded rather like Jack Nicholson after he got out! Also, I'm sure that some cockney shouted something like "You're a wanker!" in the background as he was being released.
[Lotus] Yes, but then you *do* descend from several improbably mixed nationalities ;-)
"Why, O dramatist?" (Lines that should have been written by someone else)
Who am I? Arty st d.?
S. Mith (a wry toad)?
Martha (DIY swot)?
__tim__ (a sad worthy)
Thos (am a dry wit)?
Matt (why so arid?)?
Or Watty? ("Hm" said
A Tay wordsmith,
"What a dim story.")
Out of a mangled wig
LotUS] Nice to meet you Luigi Gawedoman.
Cross-posted to MCiOS
I'd just like to report a conversation that just happened right infront of my very eyes in my office:

Scene: Manager is talking to new resource who has arrived in Paris and who had his cellphone stolen on his first day here.

Manager: So what did you think of your "welcome" to Paris?
Employee: Yes, I went walking at the weekend.
Manager: No. I mean your "welcome" to Paris.
Employee: Oh! Thank you.
Manager: Nevermind.
[JLE] Well, yes, that's true. But my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname.
[BtD] Not even close but it's a great idea for a pseudonym!
crossposted from MCiOS
[Chalky] You know you were asking whether we had a make-up artist. Well, we still don't and only just over a week to go, so if you have any leads now's the time to mention them. :-)
I saw some Sinhalese writing a while back, it had a really lovely look, all circles and spirals. That observation isn't really relevant to anything, it's just LotUS's comment reminded me of it.
Sinning
Yes it is very beautiful - learn about it here.
ISIHaC - been there, done that
[Tuj, BtD & anyone else who's interested] We had a truly splendid time at the Theatre Royal Winchester last night. I won't spoil anything by talking about either the guest or the content - [the shows go out on the 17 & 24 Nov as the first two of the series] - but I'll be interested to hear how they edit at least 2 and a half hours of quality stuff into neat half hour slots. It's a small theatre - perfect for comedy. On several occasions the tears really were rolling down my cheeks. Humph was magnificent [doesn't he work hard?] and we even managed to 'mingle with the stars' after the recording.
[Tuj] re. your comments in AVMA - I managed to get tickets because penelope, back in the summer, on receipt of the BBC4 online newsletter [or suchlike], posted in MCiOS the 3 venues and dates for this series. I'm only half an hour's drive from Winchester so I rang the theatre - all tickets were sold within 2 hrs. We were lucky.
ISIHAC
So unfair... My partner saw it live ten years ago, so my chances of going to see it are slim I feel. Back to the anagrams, would it help you to guess if I told you I'm not male?
Cinderella Hawk Beam
You can get some quite rude anagrams from my real name.
A top dative MS jinx
Michael!?
Hello hello hello, what's all this, then?
[Angus Prune] Do you have a long surname?
Ms? Prune
Angus] Marie Fen-Patern?
Evenin' all
Sorry Boolbar X-posted.
Names...
Got it. Boolbar is Native American - Michael Elk Bear Dawn.
ISIHAC
[Chalky] Having seen it in Bournemouth (Pavilion Theatre, Mon 30th Oct, 2000, 7:30pm, as my treasured ticket tells me - and Sandi Toksvig laughter rings in my ears yet) not too long ago, my memory should have recalled you need to be pretty sharp to get'em. Never mind.
anagrams
and so is no-one going to identify my earlier anagrammatical impersonation?
Projoy?
anagrammatical impersonator
All anagrams of Timothy Saward - damned clever :-)
anagrammaticaphylactic shock
[Cdm] that is so clever
Request
Projoy - could you email me? (crossposted from Orange, for which I apologise)
*blush*
[CdM] And what's more, I puzzled over them for ages yesterday. I'm also completely rubbish at Countdown too. [Dunx] Email received and replied to.
How?
[Ibid] So close!
Michael Andrew Blake
...meet David Willink.
[MF] Correcto! - just the wrong order
grama nams
CdM] That was brilliant.
Boolbar] Nice to meet you Blake Micheal Andrew.
Random Horrid Wreckage
...is my favourite anagram of my (full) real name.
Pretty please.
Could I just repeat my request for the monthly music supplement that came in last Sundays Observer? *waves money*
[FG] Mick God-Adorer H. Warren? Sounds like a tele-evangelist. :o)
An anagram of my full real name....
...would be longish. I wonder if I can come up with one.
[FG] Ow! Order keg, mr Arachnid!
Observer Music
[Boolbar] I think I can get a copy from a friend this evening. Where do I send it again?
stuff at boolbar plop vispa plop com
[Chalky] Ooooh! That would be splendid! email above. expenses paid etc.
E-mail
[Boolbar] Am wondering if I translated your email address correctly. If so, there should be one waiting for you.
spam spam spam spam
[Chalky] Yes, you are nestling between the nice African chappy who wants to share his fortune with me and the breast enlargement emails.
Anagrams
I'm feeling kinda jealous of all the people with glib anagrams, like Fat German.
Ana-kilo-gram
[Néa] The short form of your name yields "Lager liken manna"...whatever that means. I'm currently feeding your full name (assuming it really *is* what you put on your webpage :) into my anagram generator...which is unfortunately on a SparcClassic 50MHz box....
back in my day muttermuttermutter
Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen, that's what I say. .. :-)
Ana-mega-gram
[CdM] You try her name with paper/pen then!

[Néa] I can get the word "Goddess" out of it, which should shorten it up a bit. :D
Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar.
Oh, by the way, an anagram of "Real anagrammarians don't use technology beyond paper and pen" is "Damnable, general-purpose gonorrhea contaminates Andy-Pandy."
deary me
Yikes! I get all caught up and don't visit for a couple of days, and look what happens! This is all a bit too tiring to think about at the moment.

Oh, and no more spiders for the time being.

Even more anagrams
flerdle = "Censored pearl". :)
You've all gone really strange
Hmmmmmm.
very well then, Dr Q,...
Here is a list of things that Nea likes.

Start:
JRR Tolkien
Tea
Miranda
Mets
Language
End.

(OK, I might have lied about one of them...)
Here's some anagrams of Néa's full name (assuming the one on the site is real), taking the é as an e.
"Maladjusted, tiger-like, stagnant, rare ornament."
"Jauntier, darkened, meatiest, gallant strong-arm."
"Radiant man-eater strangulating molested jerk."
"A daunting tearjerker demonstrates I'm gallant."
"Maladjusted Terminator enraging rattlesnake."
"Rattling junk arrangement misleads toad-eater."
"Alert sugarlike madman and ignorant jet-setter."
"Major rattling as gentleman streaked, urinated." shame she's not a man in this case!
"Talented alarmist and jauntier strong-arm geek."
"I am a daring, non-judgemental streaker. Let start!"
"Strong, dreamlike talent and jauntier megastar."
"Transmitted ranking as talented major-leaguer."
"I am, ranking adjustments, a grander teetotaller."
I could go on with these!
Actually..
Hope those don't annoy Néa too much. Sorry if they do, but that's what the program came up with (along with several thousand others).
aaaaarrrrggghhhhhh
[DrQ] I think i prefer "ponder cereals"
Red Fell
Close panderer?
Red Fell
Or a spec lender? (Red spec loaner)
Spread clorene?
One disadvantage ef anagram programs is that they will tend to come up with real words.

What do you mean, "That's the point"? Harrumph.

Patch cocky, bent grammar
[Darren] Do you know what it is ? Is it a name ?
Annoyed??
I'm flattered! (Not to mention rolling around laughing.)
Managra
I have found out that my name works out as: Lanky Baron Bronchitis!
[Boolbar] Yeah, I know what it is. I made it. No, it's not a name (well, not in the conventional sense).
However
Sorry, Darren, but I'm more impressed with CdM's list - I don't think he used any anagram software to extract "JRR Tolkien" from my name ;-) (and who says I don't like the Mets? I'm a basketball aficionado, I am!)
anagrams
[Boolbar] Apologies for late reply - no I do not have a long surname - both names are 7 letters long
[AP] Surname = Freeman?
Crossposted from everywhere, but the last time, I promise
A final plug for Dracula - The Vampire Strikes Back - on at a theatre probably not too near you next week (Fri night already sold out!), and written by Thos and myself, and achieved with assorted much-appreciated support from the talented Martha, Dunx, gil, Chalky, Darren, matt, Lib and blamelewis (I think that's everyone).
Boolbar
Yes. 1st prize witheld till you get the first name though.
wild guess
Petela?
that's only got six though. hmmm
aaah
I see, forgot the last n.
left field
Pantele would be sufficiently obscure. If you were sort of Greek.
Anagrams
A bit of effort on my own (full) name yielded:Phronje nebricist, hish rahm mupe.
Or the more realistic, if odd: Screen obit.: Humph Jr. in Hampshire
Garbology
[Tuj] Christopher Benjamin Humphrie (or some combination thereof) perhaps?
No, I think Tuj must be his initials. Now, the T is obviously Thomas, which is straightforward enough. The U is trickier -- a google search for "first name beginning with U" reveals Uffe as the only possibility; I must assume that he spells it Uphphe, though. And then the last name falls into place easily. You stand exposed ... Thomas Uphphe Jirribschreinnem!
10 points to Dujon
First 2 the wrong way round, and the surname missing an S at the end (think that's my fault), but right nonetheless. Until I go and change it to what CdM suggetsted, of course.
mane
My name's an anagram of "I'm tired" [CdM] LOL
mealweblis
Sounds better than "dim rite", anyway :-)
Oh, huge turds
(flerdle) Tim Reid? Gotta be!
anagrams
My full name is -- I bent cute lean ice frogs.
flerdle
Don't have an l in my name. In alphabetical order, first name is aeinprt.
more results
And there has been another change to the top of the celebrity league, well really what I mean is its snorgle .... again!!!! A majestic run allegedly started in August and interrupted breifly just three times .
Angus
I have NO idea where I got that from. Ah well.
celebdaq
Mwoohahaha! I have downtraded to just under 1 million, so fingers crossed for next week - let's see.. I wonder if it's too early for another Keanu binge?
[AP] Ah ... you must be a Petrina then. Please say you don't live anywhere near Salisbury, Wiltshire. I have knowledge of a Petrina in this area who's a bit erm ..

[snorgs] Well done gal. Perhaps you can tell me - WHY OH WHY when for the first time, I put my ten grand on a Royal thinking he's going to get shedloads of column cms because of What The Butler Did - his chuffin' share price goes down?

'daq
[snorgle] I'm set up for a Wayne Rooney payoff myself, but I haven't heard about his 18th birthday blow-out yet.
chalky
I'm constantly expanding my knowledge of Petrinas. There's very few of us around. I know of just two others - plus that one in Salisbury. Can you define 'a bit erm..'? I don't know what you mean. I'm not her though!
anagrams
Names, from first to last: 7, 6, y.
anagrams
I mean 7, 6, 8
rarity?
There was a girl at school a year after me called Petrina Green. This was not a large school, either. I see nothing unusual in the name.
Petrina?
I've never seen that name before it was mentioned here.
aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw
Clues: Three 'given' names - all common - and one 'family' name. Origin of family name, N.W. England (and, surprisingly quite a few in Ireland.) No I am not a 'scouse' and the family name does not begin with O'. Them as have seen my real name are constrained from posting; it'd hardly be fair! I must admit that I've never attempted an anagram of my names, so it will be interesting to see what appears on this page.
Memories....
I knew a Petrina who was at secondary school with me in Somerset, I think she moved to Yeovil - poor thing.
Tina the Ice Frog
Is your first name Rebecca? I can also get Tina from your letters but 7,6,8 won't allow it. I have a feeling I'm overlooking something obvious...
no c's
No Rebecca here. And Tina can be a nickname. In fact is.
Not a Becca
Hmm. Am I barking up the wrong tree assuming that you are Female?
Petrinas
[Huxley] Did she look like a witch?
[Angus] Definition of 'a bit erm ...' see above :-)
Qualifying street
Chalky] Do you mean 'a bit erm' in the assumption of gender sense or do you mean that I am 'a bit erm' too?
Tina] - I'd better qualify that 'cos you've said your nick-name is Tina...
Nicknames can be very deceptive. I knew a Fairy (male), a Pinny (male), a Pog (female) and a Beardy (female). I am male and was (boringly) hailed by surname.
Chalky] Oops. You meant she looked like a ...
What a dickhead I am :o)
Genderbiased
Bob]Yes, female, today anyway.
Chalky
[Huxley]Yes she did. At the time, her last name began with an "H" and ended with an "R".
chuckling at Bob
[Bob] Ah! So you don't look like a witch, eh? More like a dic.....
Lost
I could be wrong but it appears we haven't worked out the following

DrQu+xum - "Leg ringer - glory jog"
Wol - "ADDIIIKLLNVW"
LotUS - "OUI A MANGLED WIG" (my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname)
Fat German - "Random Horrid Wreckage"
Uncle Korky - "Lanky Baron Bronchitis"
Tina - "I bent cute lean ice frogs" (7,6,8)
and Dujon's recent "aabdddeghhIjlnnooorsvw" above.
Also Darren asked "Can anyone identify what this is an anagram of? Patch cocky, bent grammar".
So no work for me today then.
[DrQ] Gregory?

Or "A top dative MS jinx"
Uncle K
Tranbon? Bontran?
Wol
David Winkill?
The Gettin' Aquainted Game
Blimey - at this rate we'll all be on first 'real' name terms pretty soon. Having done the birthdays/starsigns, I wonder what's next on the disclosure list? I have to say, though, it's rab I feel the most sympathy for - having to go through life with the surname Angrycake.
Huxley's Somerset Petrina
sorrysorrysorry multipost
I don't think it's the same one, Hux. Phew! The one here in Salisbury, apart from resembling a she-bat, was once extremely and unnecessarily rude to my mother, which I suppose somewhat colours my opinion of her.
Here we go
[Boolbar] Yup, but I usually go by my surname...and the J is just my middle initial.
[Btd] Winkill? That sounds like a wonderful suggestion. :)
[Duj] And all this time I thought VK2IUI was your name!
Anagrams
My dear old mum is 92 today - alive and well. Anyone like to have a go at the wonderful anagram of her maiden name - "Golden Manure". Two Welsh names.
Yes,but...
Willink sounds more likely, as I mentioned earlier.
[Rosie] Megan Lounder?
Du what jon?
Dujon] Ah ha! Do I have the pleasure of the company of Dr John Vollowbangs?
mum's the word
[Rosie] My grannie turns 94 in a couple of weeks. Her maiden name was rather odd/unusual, and comes out as "Shock Fido: beep!"
...or should that be ORKNEY LUCK...?
[Martha] I have to confess that I have an unconventional middle name (which was, in fact, my late mother's maiden name)...
Branton?
AABEEHHILMOTTSZ
Feeling the need to join in, although can't create a witty anagram so you just get the letters. (9,6)
Tricky these German names, eh, Tobias Hählmetz?
A ham Bizet hostel - Elizabeth Thomas
Lib
The Omaha Blitzes
Atomize hash belt
The Zambia hotels
And one that was *almost* interesting: Hot Blithe amazes.... :)
Re: Lib
"Blaze hot, his team!"
Lifting the disguise
[BtD] Very good! You've discovered that it indeed is Elizabeth Thomas in the drawing room with the lead piping!
Wiry Naked Anarch
Chuckling
[Btd] Nice one! At least the 'John' is right. ... :-)
Grow a penis
Not an insult or personal attack on any of you, but rather a classic American political anagram.
[DrQ, re your last] Omg.
Bang to rights.
[Martha] Got it in one!
flerdle's grandma
"coke-fed bishop".
Daq daq daq
As the league seems to be diminishing, I can offer my 3rd & 4th personas to fill any vacant places...
Concerning Tom's rent
I'm hopeless at anagrams. Plus, I think everyone knows my name - but just in case you don't, I will cheat..(and use one of those internet anagram thingies) Bam Sally on chin
Red carpet
Uncle Korky] I'd be willing to add your other accounts to the league, my greatest fear would be if snorgle opened a second or third with different potfolios. I have considered opening a third as a holding account with a couple of blue chip stock, then wait for a news story (which could take weeks). That way it can be put to one side bobbing around the bottom, just to be opened on fridays to check the divis. Its a different stategy I haven't tried yet. Anyone else?.
Post your id when your ready.
celebdaq
Don't worry! I can't be bothered to open up any others - this one seems to be going just fine. I don't know why I do so well, I just sink all my money into one or two of the most popular shares that I think will be in the papers a lot, and it seems to work. I also read the forums as they tend to name the popular ones - that was why last week I was 50/50 on Blaine and Tweedy.
Winkill
[Btd] I like it! - but MF was spot on. [Dujon] David Andrew John Blooghs? (One of the famous Blooghs brothers ...) - the capital I was cunning.
snorgle
Haven't figured out your name, but your letters come up with another anagram so incredibly wrong, I'm posting in white letters and already getting my coat. my balls on a chin
Stuff
(snorgle) Allison (or Alison) unusual-or-non-British-surname? (Martha Farquar) Mum's maiden name was Eluned Morgan. (Dr Q) Gregory J. Gollinger?
if you can't beat them.
well I have been looking at you lot and decided I would see what happeend with my name (christian/family)......I quite liked the following :-
Shrill Pit Probe.
Rebirth Psi Poll.
Bellhop Trip Sir ?
Brothels Rip Lip.
Brie Thrills Pop !
Hill Tribe Props.
Pre-British Poll.
Lo! Birth Ripples !
Both Reps Ill: RIP.
....or Help Lib Strip?
Poll B : I strip her.
ventriloquist Q?
[Dr Q] Gottle of Gollinger? :oD
Foo!
[Rosie] You should've known that already -- you've gotten e-mails from me before :P My great-grandmother's family were Morgans as well. Her whole dad's side came over circa 1870 and mined throughout Western Pennsylvania.
[pen] I'll have you know my dad is an amateur winemaker.... I'd send you some but I wager such stuff would not be exactly legal for export.
[St Dogmael] Is your name by any chance Robert Phillips? Or Philip R. Lobster? ;-)
nanny grams
[Rosie]Unusual given name (ie not english). [DrQ] :D
spot on !
JLE] Indeed it is. My sister is called Helen Lobster.
World of Petrinas
It is strange that everyone else's knowledge of the name is of someone who is a complete cow, or mental case! I hope I don't fit into that category...[goes off to worry in a corner] Just for the record, I've never lived in Salisbury or Yeovil or indeed anywhere in Somerset.
I'm always impressed by how dull anagrams of my name tend to be - I know I'd be pretty unhappy with seeing my name on a Scrabble rack.
Pert Deer Rang
That should take you a couple on minutes to decipher.
After a couple of minutes...
Peter Gardner, I presume?
Capital
[Wol] Sorry about the capital 'i', my error; at least being in alphabetical order must have helped. David is correct, so one given and the family name now required.
It appears I'm back.
Oy!
[Angus Prune] I said nothing of the sort!
Name appreciation
It's funny how one's reaction to a name can be coloured by the looks and personality of those one has met who carry such. To be honest my input to the naming of our daughter was certainly influenced by that aspect - damned if I know why as I am usually reasonably pragmatic (I think.) However, I did do my two children a disservice - although totally unintentionally - when they turned out to be Peter & Wendy ... some parents should be drawn and quartered!
One additional thing to think about, if you desire to avoid pain and suffering to your progeny: try to avoid using a vowel as the first letter of a middle name. Always look at what the initials spell. No joking.
Self-defence
(Dr Q) All I knew from your emails is that you were "Greg". The rest is informed guesswork. (Dujon) 3 given names, eh? As I know the answer I must shut up. (St Dogmael) Proper shit, Bill. Er, sorry.
Correctness
You are so right, flerdle. Together with my wife I attempted to make sure that there were no 'hidden' embarrassments. At the last minute (were we not stupid!) my daughter's second given name became Katherine. [Rosie] Given that you know my family name, I'm assuming that you have worked out (not too hard) the 'missing' one? Anyhoooo, schtum; it should not be too hard for the others.
middling
I don't have a middle name... none of my sisters do, neither did my father, and it was because my grandfather hated his that the tradition began. I sometimes thought that was why we were given rather more exotic first names than the norm (at the time we were born).
Parental naming.
If a different sperm gained victory, I would be called Elizabeth. As it was I narrowly avoided being Ashley (horrah!)
Increasing schizophrenia
[Inkspot] My other accounts are:
Mavic_Chen (3402569) &
Johnny_McDozenlegs (3411069).
proper shit, bill!
rosie] that's the best yet ! I must say I would have quite liked the initials RIP. :o) As it is I am RDP, which I also quite like I suppose, especially as it appears to be written at the edges of Fuji 120 roll film (RDP III) so I claim it ALL as my own. Apparently I was named after an Argentinian Golfer (Roberto di Vicenza)
Stuff
(St Dog) I didn't use an anagram-finder; it's just my filthy mind. If I had one of those dismal personalised car reg's the prime one for me would, I suppose, be 1TCH. My middle name is even more unusual and Welsh than my first name, and maybe unique at the present time, though you can find it on a map. No clues.
...and I claim my £5!
[Rosie] Tudor Clwyd Hughes?
'Y' reg - why Reg?
I was amused by a van in front of me with rearranged reg. M3 0W MY and disappointed in a car owner who missed the opportunity to rearrange A 12 SED.
wordage
Saw a sign outside a hairdresser's yesterday - 'Due to short staff, we will close at 4.30 today'. Also one in Ann Summers fitting room 'Please ask for assistance before entering' - had to share with the MC community! [flerdle]Which bit in particular?
Personal Plates
[Rosie] Well, I've tried to keep my personalised plates fairly simple - when I had an Audi A3 in Britain, I bought the plate "A3 DNX" (I saw at least one other A3 owner who had bought an "A3" plate too, so it wasn't just me). My TT here in Oregon has the plate "TT DNX" to maintain the tradition.

I saw quite an amusing one the other day... Oregon allows you to put pretty much any combination of six characters on your plate, with spacing of your choice. Usually the characters are centred, but someone had thought to put spaces in front of their word and: "  ASKEW"

Well, I liked it.

trying to remember...
[Angus Prune] The one I know is nice, not a weirdo.
Angus] I know a nice one too. Odd how experiences of names colour expectations. I always expect anyone called Tom to be fat. Josephines are manic and Phils are exceptionally hairy. I am a James...
That's interesting -- I've always remarked on the fact that everyone I've met named Brad has been a complete dickhead. Apologies to any Brads reading this...
Being hammered.
Bloody Hell!
It's bad enough being nailed down from time-to-time without being pilloried. (S'OK, Riff - only joking.)
Names
(Uncle K) Good guess! But wrong. Carry on. (B the D) To me, Josphines are...well...luscious, as are Sophies. (Dunx) Nice to see a bit of wit on a car plate. Don't get much of it over here. (All) Unfortunately, names can be a dead giveaway of social class and age though there are agreeable and surprising exceptions. I'd think I'd better stop there.
I'm possible
[Rosie] Surely not 'Cardiff'? That would be unique!
Brads and Sophies and Jims - oh my!
Sophies are a bit thick in my experience. My only experience of a Brad was from Neighbours years ago, and James is my father - nuff said! Sarahs and Jennies will always be the school bullies and Carol the friendly Brownie Guide leader!
Carols and Vals
I think I had a Brownie Leader called Val and a Guide Leader called Carol. Helens were in charge of the school playgound, Rebeccas were always lovely, Richards were always mean to me when I was 11 and Marks were good at football.
Just in case
Never trust a Richard, that's what I say...
If you think I've been unfair on Toms and Jos...
Angus] I shall have to start wearing cardigans with leather elbow patches, smoking a pipe, reading the Sunday Times and asking the terrier to bring me my burgundy slippers then ;o)
Tracys are treacherous, Janets are kind, Lucys are imaginative, Peters are usually elderly, Johns are traditional and go to Church and/or have high moral fibre, Gareths are wily psychopaths, Steves are tough on the outside (but are marshmallow inside), Elizabeths are erotic, Julians are skinny, Joans are demanding and Mikes are obsessive and keep Pugs.
wading in ...
OK - may as well join the name-fest. All opinions grossly coloured by personal experience, naturally...
Ben's are brooding and charismatic; Paul's are sexy; Tim's are cute and need mothering; John's are very much as Bob has described [ = stuffy and a tad pompous], Mike's are alcoholics and every Andy I've known has been 'a bit of a geezer'. Oh yes - Charlie's are unfailingly popular, good company and amusing.
More prejudice
May as well 'do' some girls to even up the score. Kates are jolly and outgoing, whereas Catherines (and their various misspelt namesakes) are more reserved but usually a good egg. Jennys tend to be quiet and a bit secretive, Lucys prim and proper on the outside but probably quite wild inside whilst Sarahs are uptight and very image-conscious. Meanwhile I'm afraid that nearly every Laura I've ever met has been dull, dull, dull...
Back to Rosie's middle name
Colwyn? Conwy? Carnmarthen? Caernarfon? Caerphilly? Caldicot? Crickhowell? Chepstow? Criccieth? Clynnog? Ceredigion? Cwmdu? Cadair-Idris? Cambrian Mountains (The)?
girls
I never met a Claire that I didn't like so far. Also I seem to have a lot of Helen variants in my life at the moment [Sister Helen. flatmate Helena, good friend Hélène] and they are also all lovely. Tom's are usually very nice chaps though clumsy. Justines normally work in PR for Renault, and have very corny senses of humour.
Rosie] It's Carn-Ingli isn't it ?
indignant
rab] Misspelt? Misspelt? I'll have you know that the 'K' version of my name is just as traditional. Having said that, my particular spelling is unashamedly American - something to do with my father having the hots for the film star, Kathryn Grayson [so my mother tells me].
It's taken 2 simulposts to get this posting on to the screen ... must be busy 'out there'.
Simulposts
Simulposts part deux
Sorry Chalky, one of those would have been me misspelling Carmarthen.
simulsimulsimulposts
No apology necessary, Bigsmith. It's every man/woman for themselves. BTW - nice to see you :-)
stereo-typing similposts
rab] (yes!) I have to agree on the Laura front. Elaines are tall and broad (matronly), Joys are fey, Claires are outgoing and charismatic, Zoes are irresistible to all men and pretend they don't know it, Megans go to Cambridge Uni and get firsts, Felicitys are faithful and "enthusiastic”, Susans are calm and smart, Sandras are good at drawing dogs, Joannes are maternal, Julies work in travel agencies and K©atherines work so hard it makes an 82 hour week seem like a holiday in the Maldives.

On the bloke front, Daves, Petes, Donalds, Kevins, Rogers, Phils, Zebedees, Jamess etc are intimidated by Elaines, charmed by Joys, befriended by Claires, teased by Zoes, put in their place by Megans, married to Felicitys, sorted out by Susans, uncomfortable with Sandras, comfortable with Joannes, itemised by Julies and reprimanded by K©atherines for making such sweeping generalisations about female personalities.
First Ladies
I find it is the first letter that counts. I generally find that women with names beginning with J or K to be great all-rounders. E's are usually friendly and have a thing about Cliff Richard. A's are aggresive. B's are lacking in the brain department. M's and R's are beautiful but with problems. T's make for good wives. W's are off with the fairies. Z's are good at putting men down with lightning wit. C's tend to hide away and N's would be good at running the country.
My middle name
(Bigsmith, Duj, St D) None of the above. You may need a larger-scale map. Also it's the name (or pen-name) of a long-dead Welsh poet. Definitely not Chirk, which may just resonate with ex-Pants members, or, thank God, Cwmbran.
[CK]ath[ea]?r[iy]ne?s
(...for those who understand Perl regexps...)

[Chalky] Tongue-in-cheek, of course. The spelling doesn't really matter, but there is definitely a distinction between Kates, Katies and the above...

[BtD] Have to agree with you on almost all of those. I would also lump Jo(h)annas in with your Joannes... Also is it just me, but girls with hyphenated names can be a bit wet, possibly deriving from an indecision on the part of their parents.

[rab] :-) I get called Katy quite a lot by certain friends - must be when I'm being jolly. But usually I'm Kathryn to my mother, and Kathy to everyone else. The only name I object to is Kath - which always sounds like the cleaning lady. Anyway - enough of me ...
[Rosie] Do we know how many letters there are in your mysterious, geographical, extremely rare, begins with C middle name?
first letters..
What about S? (My real first name starts with S too..)
Sssss
[snorgle] S's usually wear woolly jumpers in the summer and laugh a lot.
continued exposure
[snorgle] Bam Sally On Chin? Did anyone get your anagram? If not - what's the letter split, I'll try and guess it.
Bool] What about J's?
[BtD] See above for female J's. I don't find it works for males.
i do not wear woolly jumpers in the summer!
chalky - 7 and 7..
My middle name that no-one knows
(Chalky) There are seven. People in Wales would know it. About 15 years ago I had a nasty car smash (not my fault, for once) in Croydon, Whitehorse Road. The police had to be called because the car was blocking the road and the copper who took my name was Welsh. He pronounced my middle name better than I did. Very embarassing, because my own speech, while mostly RP, has a good dash of saaf London in it. (snorgle) Surname Binchly? First name - I wouldn't be so bold. (Chalky, again) A friend has a daughter Kathryn (b. 1972) who now wishes to be called Kay. There's a main street in Croydon called Katharine Street, but the interesting thing is that locals, including me, always pronounce the last syllable to rhyme with "wine", "dine", "line" etc. There you go, as Melvyn Bragg would say.
Miss Pronunctiation
[Rosie] "ine" as in "wine"? Not a bad idea, I suppose, but my daughter's middle name rhymes with 'in', 'bin', 'sin' - which, in retrospect, was probably the correct thing to do. ... ;-) On your middle name, I shall drag out the atlas and have a hunt.
[snorgle] I am 'stumped' at the moment ... possibly my grey matter playing up ... Is your first name one which you would consider as common or is it rather unusual (as per Rosie's middle title)?
Bum
Off to Leeds for the day, so I'll probably have to bow out of the current round of AVMA guessage. Oh well... also slightly hungover after a complicated situation involving two bad pubs, three bottles of wine, a colleague of my nearest and dearest and my housemate...
Welsh poets
Rosie> Would it be Ceiriog, from John Ceiriog Hughes (1832-1887)? The surname led me to it. Also a small forest near Wrexham. If this isn't right then I'm afraid I for one will need another clue as I'm otherwise stumped. Chalky> Nice to be back ;-)
naming of names
snorgle] Sybilla?.
Rosie] By jove - I think B'Smiths got it!
Re. the 'wine' at the end of Katherine - 'tis heard in many a Shakespearean romp - enables the acTORRRR to en-UN-ciate and prrro-JECT the name in the finest tradition of Luvvie Deliverrreh [think Brian Blessed in The Taming of the Shrew].
Sybilla? Binchley? :D
My first name isn't in english, to be fair. My surname starts with 3 consonants, but isn't foreign.
snorgle's name
Oh, is it "Tchea-Fruit" like in Neopets?
Snorgling
Siobhan?
Neopets?
Darren, all those drugs are bad for you. You should stop taking them now. ooh simulpost! That's right Bob the Dog! My surname goes well with it too...
making up new names . . . .
simulposted twice ! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?
And I now see that BtD got there first . . . .
Stuff
(Bigsmith) Congratulations. That's me. Not sure about the forest you mention, but there's a river and village with the name. See http://www.chirk.com/ceiriog.html My Dad was from Glynceiriog. Bit of a writer himself. (Chalky) Never thought of it that way, the streets of Croydon not being awash with thespians. Another example could be Gilbert and Sullivan's "conservatives", rhyming with "knives". (snorgle) Would one of those three consonants be a "y"? Hmm...I'll have to have a think.
Little McNally?
Bool - great minds etc. - simulposted 4 times!. My message was to be
"simulposted! [snorgle] Siobhan McNally?"
Uncanny McNally
Gimmie pie
I have just been offered some pumpkin pie, fresh from the oven and made with our own eggs and pumpkins. Wow it is good! Anyone else for a slice? snorgle] Are we right?
I'll shut up soon
Siobhan - is this you?
namesakes
Yep - you're all right. Except for Rosie. [Bob the dog] No, although I've seen that before! Apparently my namesake works for the Sunday Mirror.. there's also a Queen of the Universe!
Ceiriog Valley
(Rosie) Checked out the website - I've been thereabouts, many years ago on a canal boat holiday on the Llangollen. I was therefore most interested in the page about the aquaducts. Just the ticket for a boring Friday afternoon in the office - thanks old chap!!
I Want Pie
[Btd] My first Thanksgiving two years ago when I met my now brother-in-law for the the first time was memorable mainly for his reaction to the news that I Had never had pumpkin pie, and yet it's barely known outside the US. Very strange.

Actually, I tell a lie - a Bulgarian colleague was telling me that there is a Bulgarian pumpkin pie, but it is more akin to baclava with pumpkin layered between the pastry.

Laid, Unsprayed and Made in England
Dunx] This is a UK pie to a US recipe. Best I've had.
Pie! Pie! Pie!
Bob the Dog] E-mail me some pie as an attachment. In addition to the pie, we have the wonderful mashed potatoes with lots of gravy, cole slaw with a hint of horseradish, sometimes sweetpotatoes, cranberry jelly on rolls with butter, and creamed onions (small white onions in a cream sauce with celery seed as the primary flavoring). And of course, there's the turkey. I like the crisp skin the best.
stop it!
You're making my mouth water - I'm having Tuna Steak tonight. And I want to have a bash at making a chowder. Has anyone got any recipes for chowders other than the clam variety because a) I don't like seafood and 2) Tesco's don't have clams.
Yummyons
Tina] Please send recipe for creamed onions - it is a dish we don't do here!
surreal spamming
My most recent wierd spam subject was Re:Handbags of antelopes. Whaaa?
Bob Yummyons
Will do, but it will take a couple of sessions. My family is very possessive of its recipes.
surreal spam
(snorgle) HANDBAAAGS? (© Dame Judy Dench). Did you read the spam?
spamspamspam
It was something about mortgages, apparently. Hotmail blocks linked images from appearing for privacy, so I missed out on some no doubt vital and personally useful information, but there you go. The ones I hate are the sneaky subjects like re:report, or I'm sorry I offended you. But surreal ones are at least vaguely amusing..
Creamed Onions for Bob the Dog
Just got this note from my sister in Albuquerque. "use small, not tiny, white onions. Boil them until tender. Drain and add a tiny bit of flour mixed in some milk, then some cream, salt, pepper and butter. I don't have any meaurements. I also add some parsley or finely sliced scallions. I often add a piece of garlic when boiling." As to the garlic and scallions, my mother never did that. For the salt, she used celery salt.
more drum roll
There has been a change at the top at Celebrity MC congratulations to Chalky in going to No1 just two weeks after being kneecapped.
Inkspot's previous
PANIC! Thanks for your report; However, unlike Chalky I'm panicking. Just changed horses for the bolt to the line; am I going to fall over into the 2-million (grab two green wads and convert them to a flashy car) or am I going to be robbed of my £950,000 and fall back into the arms of the following wolves? My heart is racing, my brow is perspiring and, frankly m'dear I couldn't give a damn. Err, well I do, really, after the extraordinary effort of the last week should I make the new podume I shall have a 'big think' about why I'm doing this. Stupid game... rigged... the ref's are biased... and so on - I WANT A FLASH CAR. ........ Sulks.
Tina
Thank you! I will try this - although being a bloke I tend to rely on measurements for my cooking. I probably start with a white sauce recipe - and I'll have to get some celery salt.
celebdaq
I'm just 200 000 short myself of the magic 2 million mark - pleasepleaseplease let there be a run on Paul and Heather McCartney! I won't get a flashy car (already got one!) but I hate just being short by such a small amount. If I can get 2 wads of cash, I only need 1 more for a flashy yacht! I can go sailing in the Mediterranean then.. :)
Idioms
Need everyone's help. My sister, in America, wants to know what it means to have to paint the "fourth bridge." Can someone help?
I think it refers to the Forth Bridge, which, it is said, takes so long to paint that, once the painters have done a complete coat, it's time to begin repainting it again, so the job never ends.
eep!
Indeed. Unfortunately, to save money, they stopped painting it regularly, and huge rusty chunks started falling off it, particularly onto North Queensferry. (My dad lives near there and I've seen it myself). I try not to think of the massive bolts on the ground when crossing on the train..
thanks
Thanks for the answers.
celebdaq
Curses! Only 1 wad of cash, I must have just missed it..
wads
snorgle]your not alone with your wad. Come on board my luxury yacht just off Crete, and I'll break out another Bolly:)
Handbags of antelopes
Could spam create another game? With game moves being titles of spam in your mailbox?
Measurements for Cooking
I like to know how much of everything as well - but I still throw things into the oven at whatever temperature I think is best and cook until not quite black.
3oz ketchup
Bool] I'm jealous! My other half has that talent - the Jackson Pollock school of cookery. She can throws it all in and it becomes a feast.
Sponge
[BtD] I remember her cake - very tasty.
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