If you don't mind, I'll just peek in from the door. I can't set foot in these places ever since I signed a pact in blood with a tall dark stranger. BTW, do you know you've got half a dozen demons perched on your head and shoulders right now?
"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!" Whewwwww!!! I'm glad I didn't let that one go at the dinner table......erm......I mean Hallalujah brothers and sisters, the daemons have been purged! Amen!
Worst Thing To Say To A Policeman Who's Just Pulled You Over
Officer, I know I've done wrong! It's this mascara with this foundation, isn't it? What can I say? It was all I had in the house! If I could only have gone a little faster I could have made it to the Avon shop before you caught me!
Now , now! You wouldn't ticket a poor disabled person, would you? I'm colour blind, you see. Red light, green light... makes no difference whatsoever to me.
As far as I was concerned the light was green. You say it was red. Well, that's a relativistic approach velocity for you. Nothing wrong in that, is there?
On my word as a gent*hiccle* a gent *hiccle* man I hoin't been *hic* droinking orifice*hic* sir. In fact I am suffering such an orful deficit of the subshtituance I am *hic* halu*hic*halu*hic*inating and being convinced I am having sunstroke I am embracing this mirage in my dieing moments by confishcuing this camel to deliver me to the oasis.*hic*
"you mean putting your hazard lights on doesn't suspend the parking laws? since when?"(go to bridgnorth in south shropshire and you'll see this point of view in action, sadly no one ever gets booked for it.)
I saw a sign over there with an arrow that said "Park", so I parked here on the lawn. I didn't realise, until you so kindly pointed out a moment ago, that it meant a public park and not a parking lot.
I'm surprisred that they even make police uniforms in your size. Yours must be made of highly elastic stretch fabric to accomodate that huge beer belly.