Spending my last silver token on reopening the Northern Line, leaving me poised at Picadilly Circus / Burnt Bush

Well, I've sorted that out . . . Moorgate / Barbidoll

Oh dear, what a mess, hope someone can make better work of it than I have... Chorleywood/Alperton / North South Junction

I agree it's not ideal, but I have a feeling I might be in quite strong position if someone can just close this wretched bifurcation. Vauxhall/Oakwood / Victoria Beckham

[Projoy] By Belenos, you're right! North Acton/South Acton, unadventurously, announcing my imminent departure from this never-ending game... / Wapping Great Cock which gives me enough escape velocity to bifurcate into / Sound Charades... TV, 1 word

---

Felicity Bounds-Gibbing: Gracious, vicar, my husband's coming home and you've got no trousers on! Quick, you'll have to hide in the wardrobe with Lord Carfax!

Rev. Surplice: Mercy me, how frightful, by all that's godly... [Loud knocking at front door]

Lord Carfax: Thundering cannons, woman, get me out of here this minute! Ouch! Oof! bless me father for I have sinned...

Felicity: [straightens hair] Come in, the door's open sweetheart. [Enter Batman and Robin]

Batman: What do you make of it, Boy Wonder?

Robin: Holy chandelier, Batman, the Penguin must be hiding in this West End theatre!

Felicity: And you're wearing my husband's cloak as well, you paunchy icon of kitsch, you. Wherever did you get it from?

Batman: Ah, now I see. This is what I call my...

---

South Acton / North Acton [Projoy] Yey! // Old Loo / [MF] Is it What Not To Wear ?

Bifurcating the Reverse Game into Stratford-upon-Crescent:

Act I, Scene 1. A beach in Bohemia. Enter Boleti and Azulejo

Boleti: Hail Azulejo! what's the news with thee?

Azulejo: I prithee, hearken to this mystery:
Twice fourteen days hath pass'd with ne'er a sight
Of ghastly phantoms from the depths of night
That formerly presaged our country's doom
Within a month, they said, we'd be entomb'd.
And yet no sign nor sniff of enemies!
So can we reinstate the Boat Race please? / [Projoy] Well, you'll have to give me a bit of time on that... Farringdon/Angel, as a stopgap measure // Victoria & Albert Museum (ghost stations wild) / [wearing my "Audience" hat] Booooooooooo! (One word)

Ok... let's see if I can work this out.

( [Offstage wailing] / Damn this bifurcation. Ruislip Manor/Tower Hill, a move which keeps me in play but costs me all but one of my silver tokens ) / ( ( Swiss Ham / Kylie's ) / Dunno. Don't watch telly.)

Where I've used brackets to indicate furcation levels, and introduced a game of Small Earthquake... somewhere in the middle. Arrrgh...

Boleti: Didst thou perchance speak too soon?
Who makes that frightful caterwauling?
Enter Graziela and three Weasels
Graziela: 'Tis I! / Parson's Green/Green Park [Projoy] Ha bloody ha. / Act Up / New / That'll be Farce Cape, or I'm a monkey's uncle.

Film , 5 Words, Desperately Contrived

Fred: Oi, Eric! Which department are you doing tonight?
Eric: I'm on greens, mate. Why?
Fred: We're down two olfactory testers over in root veg and there's a big shipment coming in. I was hoping to get some help.
Eric: Sorry, Fred, there's no way -- we've got two container-loads of lettuce that need sniffing, and that's before we even get onto the spinach. Can't you pass some of it on to Ernie down in pulses?
Fred: Done that already. He's got one of his chaps working the overflow on turnips and carrots, and I think we can handle the surplus parsnips in-house, but I still need someone to take on...

Weasel 1 : Eeeek!
Weasel 2 : Eeeek!
Weasel 3 : And thrice, Eeeek!
// Hyde Park Corner/Queen's Park /// Water Water / Zealand//That's got me stumped - something to do with peas ? / There once was a man with a dog

It turns out the following is easier than the work I'm doing at the moment...

Furcation I : Stratford-Upon-Crescent	Boleti: And why, forsooth, are you accompanied By these vermine, so dank and tawdry?
Furcation II : Reverse Chalk Farm '84	This should help matt out a bit: Euston (Bank Branch)/Euston (Charing Cross Branch)
Furcation III : Boardman's Combined	Square Oval
Furcation IV : Small Earthquake in Chile	Lamb
Furcation V : Sound Charades	Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is the only fruit/veg related film I can think of, but I don't think it's that.
Furcation VI : Limericks	Who kept a very dull log

I almost considered making the last game Limacres for a minute.

I hate tables, which is why I've nicked rab's. Torn between the grips of Melpomene and Thalia (nice if you can get it), I've bifurcated Game I.

Furcation I : Stratford-Upon-Crescent	Graziela: These secret, black and midnight weasels three Doth speed my coach, and double as my tea. 'Tis quicker, by my troth, to get them trained, Far more than all my shrews, as yet untamed. But I, I am more shap'd for sportive tricks Than shuttling messages beyond the Styx. I prithee, vaunt my skill as ballroom dancer! Boleti: Nay, tell us of our fortune, necromancer!
Furcation II : Oh Yes It Is!	Graziela: It's weasily explained. I always travel on them, it's more cost-effective. Boleti: What you mean? Graziela: Things run better on Weasel! Azulejo: I don't wish to know that. I hear you're a medium. Graziela: No, I'm a size 6 but you're too kind. Boleti: [whispers] Watch out - it's a small medium at large. Graziela: I can indeed. Azulejo: But can you predict the future? ...Oh, that's very good. Graziela: You're called Azulejo, you're 38, married and the father of two lovely children. Azulejo: Hmm, not bad. I'm actually the father of 3 children. Graziela: That's what you think. Boleti: I went to your steaming hovel the other night. It said "Closed, owing to unforeseen circumstances." [All groan mightily] Graziela: Yep, saw that one coming.
Furcation III : Reverse Chalk Farm '84	[Projoy] I admire your attempt to reunify the entire game; as to your other question, hmm. Green Park/Park Royal, leaving it open for matt.
Furcation IV : Boardman's Combined	Waterchute
Furcation V : Small Earthquake in Chile	Attacks
Furcation VI : Sound Charades	[matt] Yes it was Farscape - knew you'd get it. As for the this: best I can get is Smeller's Scents Of Snow (maybe Sorrel?), but I know that's wrong.
Furcation VII : Limericks	The dog cocked its leg

*sigh*. It seems these things always include a furcation I can't do as soon as possible. This has two already...

[Ibid] That's what strategic passing/fudging manouevres are for. I'm not really sure how to do Sound Charades and Oh, Yes It Is myself, but am willing to give it a go.

Shame, I was hoping Ibid'd play, as I know he's got a Sound Charade ready to roll. So here's a quick... Bluffer's Guide to fudging Oh Yes It Is!:

1. Enter [entirely new character]
2. Exit [extraneous character who hasn't said anything]
3. [hero] and [sidekick] do visual comedy bit that doesn't work in a completely verbal medium
4. "Graziela, you remind me of my wife! Why, she's so ugly, her visit to the beautician's took 10 hours. And then they gave her an estimate. When she walks through the door, the mice start throwing themselves in the traps. But then my face lights up - she shoves it in the fire."
5. "Whaddaya think of it so far?!"
6. "I knew I should've done Today With Des & Mel instead"
7. "I've had better audiences than this in a phone box"
8. "I read a book about you lot the other day, it's called Bleak House"
9. "Goodness gracious!" [points offstage]
10. "I say, boys and girls, if [villain/ghost/zombie/alien/giant ant/bloke with sheet over head/terrorist/DEATH] shows up, you will say It's Behind You, won't you?"
11. Curtain

(But don't use the last one)

To avert the impending Projoy Paradox I've had to reunify the original bifurcation, venting excess pressure into the limerick strand. Let's hope the result is stable.

i Stratford	Graziela: Thy fortune, wretch, is plain for all to see If dance ye not, imperilled shall you be All men who walk these sands accurséd are Their choice: to die, or do the Cha Cha Cha! Azulejo: Bloody 'ell! Boleti: Thou ain't kidding, sunshine! Graziela: If you wouldst live beyond this night, then go! Grab thee a weasel, slow slow quick quick slow!
ii Oh Yes It Is!	Graziela: Oh yes I did! Boleti: Oh no... fair enough, you win. Enter Prince Charming
iii Fork Charm 48	Wembley Olympia, shunting Projoy into the Mens' 10m platform competition
iv Small Earthquake	Britney's
v Sound Charades	[Martha] You're right, that's not it. The old words-not-used test should help -- and remember which department Fred's in.
vi Limacres	And laid a green egg   Then sat up to beg

[matt] Bravo! I fear impending Acre Street...

[rab] What do you mean impending? It never went away! And why didn't someone tell me that "men" is plural already? Oh, the shame!

[matt] Before (against my better judgement) I join the fray, could you tell me why you dropped Boardmans and didn't add another gamelette to make a total of eight ?

[Blob] If I may be so bold as to answer on matt's behalf... this isn't Acre Street as such; we're free (or as free as we can be under the usual T&Cs) to bifurcate and reunify games as applicable. So in this case Reverse Chalk Farm and Boardmans have been unified into a hybrid game (Fork Charm 48), which in turn has had the obvious consequence of mutating straight limericks into Limacres. Hope that makes sense.

Incidentally, I intend to make a move 'Real Soon Now', if I can just arrange with Dobbin the Pantomime Horse's agent a suitable fee for a guest appearance.

[Blob] What rab said. [rab] Glad to hear it -- I was beginning to fear I'd killed the game off.

Ah I see, a nice variant. I will wait for rab's move then before being foolhardy enough to venture my own effort.

I know what the sound charade is, but I don't want to be making every other move.

[Martha] But no-one else does 'em like you!

Shit. I was going to do a move today, but I notice that the tea leaves of fate are disappearing down the plug-hole of destiny (getting trapped in the U-bend of eternity etc) and it's nearly time to go home. Bugger it. Got so caught up in 'Notes and Queries' at Orange I neglected this. (And I have also done some work today, woohoo!).

So maybe tomorrow.

Thank goodness no-one got there before me. Ladies and gentlement I present...

i Stratford	Enter drunk lutenist, who strums almost tunefully Boleti: What is this noise that has just started and so painfully my earlobes parted? Lutenist: For 'tis the weasel dance Sire The one the king doth most admire Graziela: (to audience) Not when I have my way And the king have banished away!
ii Oh Yes It Is!	Prince Charming: Ah, Princess Graziela, the fairest of all in this land. Graziela: (coyly) Prince Charming! (to audience) The most handsome prince there ever was; I wonder if he do ask for my hand in marriage? Prince Charming falls to knees, unaware of the arrival of Dobbin the Pantomime horse in the background. Charming: I was wondering, o fair Graziela Graziela flutters eye-lashes Dobbin approachs Charming and Graziela, inserting his nose right into the middle of their entrace and brays loudly Charming: Away with you, nag, before I turn you into glue. Back half of Dobbin lifts his tail; front half of Dobbin assumes expression of horror, and runs away as quickly as possible, the two halves separating. The two chase each other round for minutes until being shooed off stage by Charming. Audience: Cheers
iii Fork Charm 48	Shepherd's Loo, which I believe takes Blob out of the game. Sorry, Blob.
iv Small Earthquake	Enormously
v Sound Charades	I think Martha knows matt's one and on the assumption that he gets this one, I'll gift him two points. Film - One word FX: Knock knock Professor Hertz: Come! Enter undergradute student Nigel Round Hertz: Ah Round! Do take a seat. Now how can I help you? Round: Well, you see, Professor, whilst enraptured by your lecture on 'Curves' yesterday, I was slightly confused by one of your diagrams. Hertz: Go on. Round: Well, first you drew an arc. Hertz: Indeed. Round: And then an ellipse. Hertz: Yes, and after that I believe a hyperbola. One of my favourites, although I am rather partial to the limacon of Pascal. Has a most beautiful pedal, you know. Anyway I seem to be going off on something of a tangent. What was your question? Round: Well next you had lots and lots of curves that all looked the same, going on into infinity. Hertz: Well I do admit my motions can be somewhat circular. Round: And the thing is, you never told us what these curves were, as it was the end of the period. Hope that's the right kind of thing; not done this before.
vi Limacres	There once was a man with a dog Who kept a very dull log The dog cocked its leg And laid a green egg Then sat up to beg That looked suspiciously like an old mog Oh my! What a terrible slog For a bottle of lavender grog As though he were vastly agog
vii 10,000 Celerity CD's	9,999 VD clinics

Be warned: the slightly pedantic HTML checker makes this a more difficult than usual game to play...

Incidentally, was I right in assuming that Graziela is a girl's name? Hard to tell, these days...

Thanks for the 2 points :o) Do I have to figure yours out, now? (And yes, I thought Graziela was a girl, too)

Well, the Projoy Paradox still looked unstable, so I've had to refurcate the original. But the Blob Behemoth might threaten to overwhelm it in a move or two.

i Stratford	[Cast and weasels line up in 2 columns and begin courtly dancing, Lutenist calling out the dances] Lutenist:Weasels all, find thee a man to Start a 3/4-time Coranto! Now comes one that's really 'ard, Segue into a Galliard! Don't let either partner falter, As we start a quick La Volta End the way we all began, Finish on a brief Pavane! [All fall down exhausted] I thank thee, noble weasels, for thy pains, Including that one, tied up in his reins. For I dost need the practice, ere I sing Before our noble master called the King. Graziela: I'faith? Art thou assigned to play your tunes At Castle Drogo, for our king? Eftsoons You'll be there, like the lord of light thou art, I'll speed you there in this, my weasel cart!
ii Oh Yes It Is!	Prince Charming: As I was saying, o fair Graziela, I wish for your hand in marriage Graziela: O fair Prince, how romantic. When shall we be married? Boleti: He doesn't want you, he wants to marry your hand. Prince Charming: But what about the rest of her body? Azulejo: I say boys'n'girls, if the rest of the body shows up, you will shout "It's Behind You", won't you? Graziela: Do you take me for a fool, sir? Prince Charming: I want to take you for my wife Boleti: Same thing. Prince Charming: You are close to an idiot! Boleti: I am? [takes a step back] Graziela: Enough of this. We'll need permission from my father, whose land is currently being ravished by a vicious flame-spouting dragon that cost a packet in special effects. Let's go off and tell him.
iii Fork Charm 48	James Bond on Mary Whitehouse, reversing. [Blob] Nice move!
iv reverse Comment to Projoy	[Projoy] It's really the simple minimalist elegance of your move, in the manner of Mies van der Rohe and Kasimir Malevich that freaks me out.
v Small Earthquake	Overinflated
vi Sound Charades	OK. [matt] Is it The Swede Smeller's Excess = The Sweet Smell of Success? I figured "Smell" was right, and then went through all the smelly films I could think of. [rab] Hmm, not sure. Is it maybe Signs = Sines?? Prob'ly not. (PS. good clue)
vii Limacres	I'll start with an easy rhyme, this time. I once heard a fishmonger say:
viii 10,000 Celerity CD's	9,998 VW Golfs
ix Nostalgia for Last Week	Ee, I remember when all the kids were copying David Beckham's Cornrow hairstyle and listening to Girls Aloud, by eck, those were the days.

I see all these rows have different colours, but I can only see a dull brown on N4.

[MF] Hurrah! I think at about one move a week, and we might be able to keep up the suspense. By the way your guess on my charade was correct. Well done. (But is it right to say this here, or must it be played as part of The Game?).

It's still going faster than the original Stratford or Oh Yes It Is games did. :o) I didn't think I was right with Signs - I toyed with Russian Arc for ages, knowing you'd seen it. And I don't see what's wrong with commenting on the games down here, it happened all the time in Acre St. IIRC

It's not so much commenting on The Game itself, more that my comment about the charade could be construed as being part of The Game, and so really ought to be played as part of it. I don't know. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously!