I once held a party at which everyone got extremely stoned (on what I shall leave to your imagination). We ended up playing 'Animals', not the version we played on the pilg but the strip version where every time you lost and became the chicken you had to take off an item of clothing. It wasn't long before everyone at the party was completely naked.
A friend of mine (for the sake of this I shall call him 'Phil') was an extremely hairy fellow. He was very proud of his nudity and ran outside into our garden (it was late evening and the light was failing). He plucked a chrysanthemum, put it between the cheeks of his bot and jumped up and down in the window so that everyone at the party could see.
We all thought this was so funny that we ran out of the house to join him - and that is how I invented the 'Flower Game'.
To play you need a squarish lawn, a bunch of chrysanthemum and no inhibitions. Simply hold the flower firmly between your cheeks and run around on the lawn trying to catch someone else’s flower without dropping or loosing your own. The last player to retain his flower is the winner.
In last year's production of Macbeth, I came on in Act II, as Macduff, and in order to demonstrate that Macduff was a proper straight, regular bloke, I decided in rehearsals that he'd just come back from a beery evening with Lennox and would take a leak up against the castle wall, showing just what a manly, manly man he really was (What's that you say? Overcompensation?).
Anyway, at the dress rehearsal, I was distracted by trying to remember the lines in order and on making my entrance, went to the back wall and mimed unzipping the old bags and whomping out the python (you see, I can "do" straight man vernacular). Except that my mind was elsewhere and I entirely forgot to mime, slightly to the surprise of the people standing in the wings. Luckily I came to myself before I actually followed through.
...and it's odd because I was much too nervous to get my dick out when I did Equus, ten years before, when it was actually called for. Method acting clearly comes unbidden.
I once did a naked sketch based on the old Levi's "Heard it through the Grapevine" advert. I'll say no more. It might just sneak into cabaret next pilg...
Yes, roiling around on a thin crust over a boiling planet, getting ready to hurl us into a gaseous cloud of our own making. But, now for something completely different.
Unbelievable but true - I saw a 14-yr-old girl walking down my road not talking into a mobile phone, or fiddling with the buttons, and appeared even not to have such a device about her person.
Today my thoughts have been mainly about a hairdresser giving the best haircut she'll ever give in her life to a man who will be decapitated the next day
long long ago in a distant tyme before god ever contemplated man earth was one vast stage without props nor music nor aspiring actors until one fateful night alongside a goat trail in the far himalayas a camel cricket farted and the audience busted out in a laughter that has not abated to this day
The writer of the human genome was the founder of the National Association of Dyslexics (D.N.A.)and also belonged to the Association of Certified Genetic Tricksters (A.C.T.G.)
I present a motion we turn a thoroughbred stud horse out to pasture with that mare on the moon, and raise us a nonpareil colt to enter in the Kentucky Derby, all those opposed say neigh!