mc5 - ... so help me God.

Ah, here's a definition of an eighty-niner, which is perfectly innocuous and worksafe, unlike this page now. :)

I can totally envelop my head by stretching my lower lip up over my face

My nose is so badly bent that whichever direction you approach me from, I'm always in profile.

i am constantly getting mixed up with 'Britney Spears' and 'Brittany Ferries'

Dyslexics are complete bastards! They keep coming into my room even though I have a 2ft high notice on my door that says "keep out"!