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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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What's that in English?
Your daughters a bit of alright!
Now I know you're insane.
You know full well that you can't afford to sack me.
I bet if I flicked you with a wet towel you'd make a noise worth recording...
I know why you asked me to this meeting. So shall we do it on your desk or do you want to find a hotel for a couple of hours?
Yes, I have erred. I was responsible for the failure of the project. But I can take what's coming to me like a man. Here is the cane, hold on while I lower my trousers.
Actually, that's a surprisingly clever idea.
Well, excuse me, who are you to tell me what to do?
I suppose at least you have a good excuse for not being able to tell your arse from your elbow, since in your case they resemble each other so remarkably.
I do.
It's Bosses' day today! I spent all day at the office making these neat paper cutouts for you and making you a hand-painted card too.
Sod the deadline, let's get pissed.
That's an amazingly stupid idea.
I love 90-hour weeks.
Hold on, I'm guessing this call is more important than anything you were about to say
I'm "working from home" today, if you get my drift.
*hiss* *gasp* Yes, my master *hiss*
What do you mean, you've never had a sex change?
Shouldn't you be in senior management at your age?
If you're so f*in clever then you bleedin' well do it
Ahem... Aren't those Miss Pendergrast's pantyhose lying in a heap under your desk? She does go beyond the call of secretarial duty, doen't she?
We're practically family for I've been having a liaison with your wife. But that's not the half of it, your daughter is 7 weeks pregnant.
Badges? We don't need your stinking badges!
Of course I've been taking off early most days at 4PM. I didn't realise until just now that when you hired me you said there was a compulsory "forty hours a week" policy that employees must abide by, I mistook it for a "four tea hours a week" mandate.
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