Keith Floyd, that famous rock guitarist who made those wonderful videos of marching hammers and singing frogs. Before he came along I never knew that West Ham fans were so disciplined, and I certainly never expected the French to be able to sing. However...
...here's the recipe for the muffins. Start with one medium-sized tuna, preferably dead. If not dead, see a vintage copy of Joy of Cooking for how to dispatch tuna. Anyway, halve the tuna and put the front half in a blender with some hot water and mix on high until...
...one of the few remaining decent sports in this country of ours, and all the more satisfying for the high levels of skill it requires. The first step of course is to hide behind a bush and make a noise like...
...a lettuce in distress. Elusive or nay, the pickle will undoubtedly become curious, and drop his or her guard, and that, dear reader, is when you must strike, and strike true. Now, most importantly...
...you will need a sharp cleaver or axe. I prefer to use an Acme Xtrasharp #43, honed like a razor and as light as a feather. Incidentally, they also make a superb nailfile, which is excellent for picking locks. Hold the axe in balance and take a....
...the wild pickle to blanch and then jump headlong into your creel or other ready container. Mind you, you must act swiftly while the pickle is still stunned by fright. Then take the pickle inside. Halve it, chop, and add to the tuna mixture. Be careful not to ...
focus too much on some random chuntey experience whilst withdrawing from Crack Cocaine and muse about the nets that strangle dolphins and your ex lovers. Embrace Christ and her...
seven dwarves, Dave, Dee, Dozey, Beaky, Mick and Titch. My, there appears to be one missing. I wonder where I left him (or her, to be politically correct)? Ah, yes! I remember, it was....
...me and some guys from school had a band and we tried real hard. Jimmy quit and Jody got married, I should have known we'd never get far. But when I look back now that summer seemed to last forever, and if I had the choice I'd always want to be there. Those were the best days of...
...simple fact that band members always get married, or fall in love, or, in any case, care about something else other than the band. But in '69 we were all recovering from the Chicago convention and many other life altering events. We had no hope that year and so when we thought about entertaining and recipes and such, we almost automatically turned to ...
..Mrs Beatons most excellent, if now somewhat arcane, cookery books. It is not well known but Mrs Beaton was actually my Grandmother's, friends, cousins nextdoor neighbour. They used to have such a laugh chatting over the fence. She once told us the story of how she first caught the pheasant that she used in her classic recipe Pheasant stuffed with chestnut and aubergine chutney . It was amazing to hear her laugh, it sounded like...
..was throttling a cat whilst being hacked to death by my wife. This was a harrowing experience, particularly when re-lived in the cold light of day - this was when I realised that...
*sighs* Ignore me! [rab] the website now seems to add your entries automatically when you "haven't seen the latest moves", when it used to give you the chance to change them! is there anything i can do about that?
..American films, where they are always portrayed as either superior beings or fawning snobs. Now where was I? Oh, yes, my dream. At least I think it was a dream, but I was floating gently just above a...