I'm glad I don't live in the U.S. of A.. When tornadoes run through the mid-west they have huge ranches land in back yards. Here we just have eaves cluttering up the place.

*sings* - "You say tonadoes and I say tonahdoes...."

I've been told all my life that money, like tomatoes, doesn't grow on trees. I dispute this. I have also been told that owning a house is like money in the bank. Where do you find houses? Lined up in trees. I rest my case.

Take a tip: Mornington Crescent

good game, good game, but it needs a beak.

And anyway we can always keep this going under the lie.

It ain't over till the fat lady sins.

[softers] are you calling me pump?

How could anyone thin such a thing?

alfrdd hitchcock is totally hot

http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew/funny/Bellybutton.jpg

[Itchcock: read it and wee!]

Kim] Don't be so cruel - he's just showing off his age.

Astonishing scenes at London Zoo, following the kidnapping of a rare Golden-tailed Tamarind. The kidnapper establised a video-link with the zoo by mobile phone to make his ransom demand. During the negotiations, desparate for the return of this rare and beautiful specimen and willing to pay any price, the keeper, a Mr Maguire, was heard to yell at the kidnapper: "Show me the money, show me the money, SHOW ME THE MONEY!".

At another zoo, after a spectacular thunderstorm, they are selling T-shirts with the inscription "We have seen the ions of Longleat".

And a new zoo near Rotherham is being advertised with the slogan: "The tigers of Wath are wiser than the horses of instruction".

I hear that the new zoo's pubic parking lot is located near the lama exhibit, which is in between the cage holding the panters and the aviary with the puffins, canes and cots.

The new Marie Park, however, is where one can see Wales, sharks, jellyish, sea-hores and coal reefs.

My client, a Mr Bun, is pleased with me. I have just helped him set up an online baking facility.