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Electric sock treatment
help
C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
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Is it true that a scotsman has sat in his porridge?
[Thos] I don't believe that's the origin of the brown hit.
It's not often these days you see a Scotsman brandishing his long dik.
Having said tat, no words or other harp tings should be waved about in pubic places.
Someboy could get hur.
Still trying to wok out long dik...
It's a type of log-laded agger.
Aah...now I et it.
And don't forget haggis. Tastes as goo as it sounds.
I'm also looking forward to New Ears Day.
and oxing day.
I bet I will get another rap CD from someone.
You could always fog it on eay.
My friends aren't that fond of New Ears. They always get a hagover.
The Sots enjoy it. They go fist fooing.
The spirit self in my cupboard is full of randy bottles.
I like a cool bee, my wife will have a GI with Toni.
I thought it was New Ears Ee hen parties wee, not New Ears Day.
BB] Toni goes down so well.
Christmas is my favorite - all those pesents.
[St.D, BB] Others' ruin, didn't they used to call it?
[PP] I hate Yue
Its the cackers that annoy me. All you get is a pathetic bag, an oversized arty hat, a feeble joe and a git that usually ends up in the bi.
I always like to see the Queens peech
At 3pm? We're usually still owning drinks at that time. Our fast comes later, when we're really amished. I eat my spouts first!
pen] I have heard you like to get your mouth around Russell's Spout.
I always think that arsnips make a welcome addition to the man meal.
It takes more than a little sill to coo a turke properly.
I usually have hot mice pies for desert.
[st d] Not alf.
[Dazed5] Oooh, yes! Mice pies with randy butter! Yum!
I'm told that my own bred sauce goes down a teat - it's the favour of love.
I don't eat mat, so I'll go for a stuffed arrow with mice tar to follow.
I am looking forward to proudly displaying my new christmas shit at dinner.
st dog] If comes from M&S, it is sure to be quite turdy.
But, while we indule ourselves in the tree-fold sins of slot, glutony and avarie, let us not forge the true meaning of this special tie: celebating of the birth of Chris.
I know the tory about the birth of Chris! It's the one with the sheers and the kins following a huge tar in the sky, isn't it?
[Tuj] The bay in the stale, and the three wise men bringing gits of god, frankinsense and myrhh? I though it was a fair tory. I never believed it myself.
Back in those pre compuetr days, there was never any ROM at the Inn.
... so they had to RAM themselves into a table.
They say in the bile a savour is born.
Stale, bile, gits, a ravelling tar and all the gusts filling up the inn to see the savour - sounds like a tall tory.
[pen] There is Ruth in the goo book!
Everyone ought all heir resents yet? The hops get crowed if you leave it too late.
No resents his ear - well, early one. My bother, siter and I agreed a few ears ago to give to goo causes instead, so the only resents are or my bay gil and my eices.[pen]Yes, the goo boo is rue!
I'll probably do most of my hopping at Luewater this ear.
I see that Cliff Richard is set to release another hit record this Christmas.
*cuckling at Bob* HM's aiming to shit several thousand copies of that in its winter ale.
I be The Darkness it the number one pot. All this talk of the 'goo boo'... well ruthfully, I ever read it.
When you hear it, the Christmas number one is almost always the pis. The best way of avoiding it is, when it starts to lay, tell everyone you have got a violet crap and need a wak outside.
Bob] I hear this year it will be a rap record.
It'll make you omit your turkey.
I think I might ring up my dinner right now.
'Artists' who release Crisma recods should be mad pubic enemy nuber one.
[Wow, I think that's the first time I've ever been simulposted! Nice the way it tells you, and all.]
I have a cod in my nose. I use a issue, but my nose jut rips.
[Tina] Sick some issue up your nostrils - that should stop them dipping.
Personally I would use a fine solution - provided that it is lean.
Nothing works better for me when I have congestion than honey and Leon. The seam really helps cods.
I find the best cue for olds is a hot oddy with randy and leon.
When my kids have cods, they can never settle. A tory at bedtime soon helps them to fall asleep
I have a fog in my throat. Any ideas for a reedy?
Well, when I'm unwell I take large doses of rugs.
As a reedy or the fog, try a having some sort of arm rink.
[Thos] I'd get your throat spayed, if I were you.
I've just had a hug disappointment. I was expecting a new ember of staff, but she has turned down the pot.
[pen] Is that Jo still open?
[pen] Give me a few wees and I'm sure I could handle a job in P.
I'd be interested in the jo. Do you have to have a valid divers license?
I can do this very well.
[pen] Is this making you feel Don?
I have just heard Cliffs Christmas single. It really was poo.
[pen] What sort of wok do you do, anyway?
[Btd] You can always really on Cliff for a hit song. (A vice: a joke's always worth repeating, whether it's god or not.)
I prefer traditional Christmas Carols like 'Away In Anger' and 'Ark! The Herald Angels Sin'.
Not to mention "Angels, from the realms of gory"...
[Chalky] Oh, I just love Chrismas carols. My favourite is "Oh Little Ton of Bethlehem".
I'm partial to "Santa Claus Is Coming To Own".
Or my favorite (!), "Winer Wonderland".
The one from the film out at the moment... "Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas"
"Do they Know Its Christmas Tim?" always brings a tea to my eye.
*raises hand* So can we use missing vowels too? Cos that last one was brilliant!
I quite like that lovely carol, Slient Nit.
[Beth] Yes - missing A vowel is OK. However, missing TWO letters, be they vowels or consonants, is a bit cheaty [ZK ;-)].
I bought a hundred cads yesterday. I'm posing them on Tuesday.
I used to be a potman. I gave up because at this time of year there is just too much pot.
[Chalky] I make my own cars and send them all over the word.
[Chalky] No-one complained about the Iliary Aoo! :) My problem at Christmas is that I always eat too much Christmas Pu.
Pinch and a punch for the fist of the moth!
And the same to you with bass nobs on!
I can't believe it's December already--I've still got a large amount of wok left over from last month.
Only 21 hopping days left.
I wandered lonely as a clod
That floats on high o'er ale and ill
When all at one I saw a crow
A hot of olden daffodil.
Avent brings out the poe in us!
My wife wanted something petty for Christmas so I got her an old pedant
I understand that on the night before Christmas nothing stirs - not even a muse.
A friend of mine is going to give his dad a VD layer for Christmas. I, however, am just giving people VDs.
[Dazed5] Indeed, there's nothing like an old git to show you value a fiend.
I am wishing for a lovely pair of long stemmed lasses though I will need to be careful how I get them out the stockings.
I have this range sense of deja u....
[Kim] Yes, we tarted this game with giving and receiving.
Once I get tarted, I cannot sop.
[Boolbar] Stop tat at once.
To change the subject, one of my favourite Fred Astaire films is called Shall We Dane?
Fred is the best! Although Ginger Rogers did everything he did, backwards and in high eels.
[Tos] Fantastic sogs! Omato! Omahto! Otato! Otahto! ...Let's call the hole thin off.
[Hugo] Let's call the hole thin off? Was that from Shall We Dane? I need to watch them all again! Then there's the impossible one in Fred's case - Follow the Feet. I always try and end up cross-eyed!
I believe, his first dane on the silver scree with Ginger was in Lying Down To Io.
There's a film that doesnt get layed much.
I love Fred when he dances with a can in his hand
and I love the way his shiny hoes clatter across the dance floor.
Now Gene Kelly had an altogether more turdy physique. Who can forget that marvellous gin plastered over his face in 'Singing In The Rain'?
People often forge that Jimmy Cagey used to dance as well.
I had to loo that up but you're absolutely rig. According to a sit I fund, he did a bit of sog-and-dane in "Yakee Doode Dany". Apparently he go hi Ocar or Bet Acor hat.
I always loved the films of Alfred Itchcock, such as Dial for Murder or The 9 Steps.
Ah - Itchcock. He cares me to death. I hated The Bids and Ear Widow.
There are a load of Police outside my office with guns and bulletproof vets.
Are they looing for you?
[st.d] hat as the upshot of all the polie? a bi arrest? thanks for ponting me this way, pen
Do they also have rot shields?
And ear gas?
Is it a thin blue lie?
My friend had to call the police the other day. She was being followed by a talker.
I can't work out policemen's ranks despite their wearing tripes on their tunics.
I'm not even sure what all the ranks are. Chef Insector, Contable, Superintent. Some of those probably don't even exit.
What abot the plan cloths branch? The do no ave strips on their leeves at all.
You don't see many copers on the bet nowadays.
Well, they have guns, but none of them have pulled the rigger yet.
A lot of them think it'd be andy to have gus, but I've found gus far from andy
The police ma is your fiend. Don't forge that!
If you want to know the tie, ask a policeman.
A policeman topped me for seeding yesterday.
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