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Missive Trellis
help
Well, slap my jammy badger its a communal round robin. Finish off the last sentence and start the next in the manner of your choosing.
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...nothing but Elvis Costello...
..-flavoured pants. This disturbing state of affairs led directly (in my and my psychiatrist Dr Syncope's opinion) to the terrible events that followed. Even now, I still get terrible flashbacks, and even worse, I still can't wash the taste from my mouth, no matter how many pints of Creme de Menthe I drink! Though I shudder to say it...
...I won't say it. And so, upon my return to...
...Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, I was immediately taken by the changes there. The old bank is now a yuppy wine bar and full of insufferable dinkies slurping back glasses of Rhondda chardonnay and talking about their Christmas bonuses. Now, in the old days, the bank was only full of farmers depositing their EU grant cheques and talking about the price of sheep. Those were the best times, but now, you see, things have moved on and even...
....Evans the Underataker has high street shop that blares out pop music, as I found out when I went in...
...to deposit my grandfather. Despite the protestations of the bored 16-year-old behind the counter, and of dear old Pappy himself in fact, I handed over my Next Day Embalming coupon, and...
...raced out to spend my inheritance post-haste. In a moment of madness I put it all on Lucky Boy in the 2:30 in Utoxeter, which unfortunately...
due to dodgy cross breeding and a poor blood line had the misfortune of running around in ever decreasing circles, for most of the time. But as luck would have it...
...I thought I recognised the winning horse, and as it turned out, I was the tall and attractive german stable-lad who had raised it all those years ago. Pulling up my shorts, I strode over to the jockey, who it turned out also recognised me from our schooldays. We've been married for three years now, and last month we celebrated the birth of our first...
...foal, bred from our two thoroughbreds, Far Canal and Hoof Hearted. We are still trying to think of a suitable ame to register with the Jockey Club. Have you any suggestions? We did think of calling him...
...Jeff after my aunt, but she didn't think it was a suitable name for such a....
....strange looking animal, and with six legs and a long purple neck. The first time it went for a walk it caused quite a stir down at the....
...local pub where it would stand at the bar for hours at a time, drinking bitter, and telling stories about the time when...
...it had been working the night shift at a local shop and had received...
..an interesting proposition from Julian Clary. Meanwhile, the stable boy had just come into the bar and was giving "dead cert" tips to anyone who would buy him a drink. Apparently, up on the gallops, the word was that Jeff....
...rey Bernard had murdered his daughters Black girlfriend. All hell ensued as the bloody fingerprints were erased by...
.....a judicious use of 3 tons of concrete, but what they seemed to forget was...
the cameras hidden by the Beadle's About crew were still rolling. Sadly, after the swearing was edited out there was only about three seconds of broadcastable material and Beadle ended up
miming to the soundtrack of 'Tommy' just to keep the audience entertained! Well that’s about all for now, I've got a bus to catch. Apparently there is some sort of "pilgrimage" I am rather keen to attend. I understand we are going to be playing rugby at Mornington Crescent. Or have I got that wrong?

Lots of love

Trellis (Mrs)
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Bob the dog*
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