My dear mother said "Use your brain" "Don't drive all that way. Take a train." So I took her advice (I don't need telling twice) And now I'm doing 15 years in Wandsworth for grand larceny, operating a locomotive without a train driving licence and the kidnapping of one train driver, four conductors, 83 passengers, four dogs and a budgie named Jane.
I've recently picked up a cough It's making life hard to get through This out I must tough Shun of Despond the Slough And seek help from the folk of the borough.
[Raak] That's so good it needs plagiarising... Behold ye the red-legged chough Which nests on the end of a bough Where it pecks out a trough Feeds its young just on dough And suffers a constant hiccough.
The cure for all Mankind's ills Can be found in my patented pills They should be taken when cool No! Just one you damned fool! Aaaand another fool's pushin' up cowsills.
Someone on WhatsApp mentioned they'd had to write a poem on the theme "tree", and in reply, I made this up in 60 seconds, without time to make apologies to Joyce Kilmer...
There once was a beautiful tree That wasn't so lovely to me As any old pome Pulled out of a tome Pulled out of a beautiful tree.
goldfinch - King Charlie’s replantable tree Makes a bold point on ecology, Strong on conservation Yet on his oration: A touch wooden, his delivery.
Projoy - Charles drawls from a room that's enchanting For now it's a "sir", not a "ma'am" ting. He signals his virtue with pine (or a birch?) who Like him needs a speedy replanting.
The child, being close to the floor, sees the dust gather up, more and more. The cracks in the wall grow, as children grow tall till they leave; dust thrown up; closing door.
A long time ago, I would pray I could make the folk dance when I'd play But then February's news Bought a fresh wave of blues The music had died on that day
So bye-bye, Miss American Pie, The levee I drove to was dry. Good ol' boys in their folly Raised whiskies to Holly 'This will be the day they I die.'