You'd make a better door than a window. said when one was between parent and what they wanted to look at.

An overhang from wartime, when someone was going out, my mother (or her sister) would call Don't forget your gas mask! Oh! I see you're wearing it.

Wood! meaning "shut the door" - (short form of "Oi! Put that piece of wood in the hole in the wall")

On a similar theme, CLICK! whenever someone forgot to switch off a light. Generally me.

S'nuff ter blaah yer lugs off My mum, a Geordie, uses this when it's rather windy. As a result, so do I.

"You don't want to go stuffing your face with food every five-and-twenty minutes!" said to my teenaged or 20-something father and and a small bunch of his mates after they'd spent a very long time - possibly a day and half a night - on some hunting/shooting/fishing mission, which involved some mishap of getting lost. On returning to civilisation they were hungry, but whoever it was they had arranged to meet that evening had been well-fed that day and didn't feel the need to dine. It was repeated by my late Daddy whenever we complained about being hungry.

She's some kinda lady. Delivered derisively to mean quite the opposite after Mom had witnessed something very unlady-like indeed. :-)

If a light was left on... "It's like Blackpool illuminations in here!" I don't think she ever visited Blackpool.

She's all kippers and curtains. My mother on somebody with social pretensions.

I seem to remember my dad referring to large whiskers (aka "Mutton Chop") as "Bugger's Grips". It was only when I used the phrase out loud, in my thirties, that it dawned on me what it meant.

Not mine, but has anyone seen Russell Howard on his parent's metaphors for someone's sexual proclivities? He likes to keep a skipping rope in the glovebox!

[nights] I introduced my kids to "Total Recall" (the 1990 version) last night. There was a real struggle to stifle sniggers, in unison, by all three of us, when Arnie says,
"All my life, I worked for Mars Intelligence, I did Cohaagen's dirty work. But then I met someone, a woman. She taught me a few things, like I was playing for the wrong team."
Our household thrives on innuendo :-)

The Devil finds work for idle hands. My paternal grandmother who worked all her life running a guest house.

It's not the cough that carries you off
It's the coffin they carry you off in.

No, I've still no idea what it means.

[Botherer] My father said that as well, and I've met other people who recognised it. Google has "about 57,000" hits for the complete saying in quotes (but only "about 13,200" without quotes).

My parents and wife have all used that one.

I think he's studying to be an idiot. Said by father about any school-aged person he thought was a twat.

Is anyone still listening?

I heard that, pardon - as my parents used to say, which I've just googled to discover it's from "I Didn't Know You Cared", which I didn't know was written by Peter Tinniswood.
[Raak] I don't think so, TBH.

It's a day!