If you don't watch out and spit it out, you'll swallow that seed, and don't you come complaining to me when there's an orange tree growing out of your tummy.
Come on, you could get a tank through there! A favourite of my dad's when somebody in front wasn't quick enough moving into a gap in traffic. Thing is, he used to work for the MOD on Salisbury Plain, so he'd know ...
This was in one of Max Boyce's routines, but I always liked it Fine! Go play your stupid rugby. But if you break both your legs, don't come running home to me.
Der landschaft ist mit schnee bedeckt! My mother, whenever it snows overnight. She claims it's the only thing she remembers from one year of German lessons at school (in about 1948)
Aye, and when tha's finished peeling potaytoes, tha can peel t' bloody peel. For some reason my Welsh father always delivered that one in a Yorkshire accent
Another lovely day! Another one of my mum's, after a woman she knew who had moved to India, in the 1960s, with her husband who had been posted there with work. After about 6 weeks in India, the servants opened the shutters one morning and she declared the astonished line above. Hence my mum uses it whenever there is a spell of 3 or 4 days of blue sky in a row.
There's enough blue sky to make a pair of trousers for a sailor. A very optimistic view of a tiny break in the cloud cover (generally during family holidays in North Wales)
[Projoy] Well if we're bringing out child abuse, I used to get called "You silly, twisted boy" (a Grytpype-Thynne line, I believe) by my dad, and my mum's go-to threat to make me behave was "I'll bash your face in", which I've discovered works on my own children (the empty threat, that is) :-)
Penolopy jolly This means bottom, backside, arse, bum, derrière etc. and is derived from the Welsh pen ðl (same meaning) and the fact that my mother had had a friend at school called Penelope Jolly. The jolly was optional and sometimes Mum used simply the Welsh term on its own. Thus; "Oh, did you hurt your penolopy?" We had a number of these Welsh-derived words at home. This one was in frequent use but is untransferable, you could say. (INJ) In our family it was just the last three letters, which my mother would half-heartedly claim meant "Full to the brim". Such a lady!
F H B - is what my dad would say at the dinner table if we had guests. It's short for "Family hold back" and was the instruction to allow the guests to help themselves to vegetables, gravy etc first. I seem to remember him explaining that it's what his own Da used to say, and so I've tried to get my own children to use it too.
"You don't want to go stuffing your face with food every five-and-twenty minutes!" said to my teenaged or 20-something father and and a small bunch of his mates after they'd spent a very long time - possibly a day and half a night - on some hunting/shooting/fishing mission, which involved some mishap of getting lost. On returning to civilisation they were hungry, but whoever it was they had arranged to meet that evening had been well-fed that day and didn't feel the need to dine. It was repeated by my late Daddy whenever we complained about being hungry.
I seem to remember my dad referring to large whiskers (aka "Mutton Chop") as "Bugger's Grips". It was only when I used the phrase out loud, in my thirties, that it dawned on me what it meant.
Not mine, but has anyone seen Russell Howard on his parent's metaphors for someone's sexual proclivities? He likes to keep a skipping rope in the glovebox!
[nights] I introduced my kids to "Total Recall" (the 1990 version) last night. There was a real struggle to stifle sniggers, in unison, by all three of us, when Arnie says, "All my life, I worked for Mars Intelligence, I did Cohaagen's dirty work. But then I met someone, a woman. She taught me a few things, like I was playing for the wrong team." Our household thrives on innuendo :-)
[Botherer] My father said that as well, and I've met other people who recognised it. Google has "about 57,000" hits for the complete saying in quotes (but only "about 13,200" without quotes).
I heard that, pardon - as my parents used to say, which I've just googled to discover it's from "I Didn't Know You Cared", which I didn't know was written by Peter Tinniswood. [Raak] I don't think so, TBH.