In 1745 a young Master Bates was discovered crouched behind the banister inside of his mothers Virginia domicile working himself into a frenzy while watching the chambermaid straighten her garter. Not only did his horrified mother twist his ear unmercifully as she dragged him towards the bathtub, but his father later that evening reproached him using a stout cherry sapling confiscated from the front lawn. Made to repent before their small Methodist congregation, word of his voyeuristic inclinations soon reached his peers. Hoping to avoid his newfound popularity and subsequent bruising, young Master Bates dropped his surname and ran away from home, only to emerge elsewhere under the given name of George. Vowing to never repeat the mistakes of his past, George went on to become the father of his country. Which further supports the old adage [practice makes perfect].
When Citizen Kane mouthed his dieing word [Rosebud] he was relying on his beloved doberman pinscher, Attila to be positioned at his bedside. Attila was a graduate of the Icelandic Canine Academy of Berserkergang, an elitist obedience school for dogs. 'Rosebud' was the command that would plunge Attila into a fit or insanity whereby he would slay indiscriminately all those who had gathered to watch the great man die. Unfortunately Attila was not present at kane's death, and the wry smile on the face of the dead man once he'd give the command was deemed a mystery.
Everyone knows, Kim, that Solomon Grundy was the very wealthy Uncle of Eddie, and he and Jeffrey Archer made a fortune penning throw-away chart hits spun-off from biblical soap-operas. as a sequel to the 'Kane Dingle and Dr. Abel' trilogy, they released 'Queen Vic of My Heart' under the guises of 'Craig David and Goliath'.
For years there was controversy over who really sang on Milli Vanilli's chart hits. The answer, believe it or not, was Stephen Hawking. In a strange twist of fate, it was the surviving member of the band who provided the voice for that box-thingy the scientist uses. Rumour has it the two will reuinte this Summer to appear in commercials for Tunes Throat Lozenges. "A first class ticket to Nottingham please - and you can sod off if you think you're putting me in the Guard's van, you prancing, dreadlocked twat!" That sort of thing. Remember, you heard it here first.