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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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[I did not submit the above] furthermore, I have never told an untruth and sobriety becomes me.
Lord Byron presented this haiku to his mistress on the eve preceding his death:

Some night I'll whisper
[I Love You] posthumously
Just to hear you scream
[GUFFAWS!!!]
I am a man of constant sorrow.
I keep my genitals in a jar of formaldehyde.
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