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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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So you're a cleric, are you? How many more XP do you need before you can Heal Serious Wounds?
I really think cheese would be a better combination with the sacramental wine than those dry wafers. Can't you petition the Pope? A nice Brie or Edam, perhaps? Or if it must be Italian, some aged Parmigiano Reggiano would do quite nicely.
I cannot help noticing that not all of your women have their heads covered, despite the angels (1 Corinthians 11:10). You bishop appears not to be married (1 Timothy 3:2). Not everyone present has edified the church with a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation (1 Corinthians 14:26). Some of you apparently have bank accounts or credit cards (Ezekiel 18:8) and I am not convinced that menstruating women are shunned (Ezekiel 18:6). Worst of all, there are men present without beards (Leviticus 19:27), and some of you appear to be wearing polycotton shirts (Leviticus 19:19). You are clearly an abomination against the Lord and his Word, and therefore his face is turned away from you (Psalms 34:16) and I must punish you (1 Peter 2:14).
So, Jehovah's the good guy, right... And Satan's the bad guy. Oh, now I get it! It's just like Batman and the Joker!
Free booze?! Bet I can down the whole lot in under thirty seconds!
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZNOREZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
"psssssst! Ever DID IT under a pew?" *[wink] * [wink]*
Hm. Looks like you've had this place redesecrated. Er, redecorated.
If you don't mind, I'll just peek in from the door. I can't set foot in these places ever since I signed a pact in blood with a tall dark stranger. BTW, do you know you've got half a dozen demons perched on your head and shoulders right now?
"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!" Whewwwww!!! I'm glad I didn't let that one go at the dinner table......erm......I mean Hallalujah brothers and sisters, the daemons have been purged! Amen!
"Have you ever been to a Harvester before?"
Time for a new topic? How about

Worst Thing To Say To A Policeman Who's Just Pulled You Over

Officer, I know I've done wrong! It's this mascara with this foundation, isn't it? What can I say? It was all I had in the house! If I could only have gone a little faster I could have made it to the Avon shop before you caught me!
(Said by a 68 year old driver to a 25 year old policeman) Good God, are they letting teenagers be policemen these days?
"My licence is in the plastic pouch at the front, officer, the twenty quid is in the zipped bit at the back."
"psssssst! Ever DID IT in the backseat of a patrol car?" *[wink] * [wink]*"
I only had tee martoonis, ossifer - really!
Come on, get to the point; I'm dying for a piss.
Ooh, fancy that, officer! Aren't you the same cop who had vice squad duty last week and booked me for solicitation?
Now , now! You wouldn't ticket a poor disabled person, would you? I'm colour blind, you see. Red light, green light... makes no difference whatsoever to me.
As far as I was concerned the light was green. You say it was red. Well, that's a relativistic approach velocity for you. Nothing wrong in that, is there?
Does your head go right to the top of that hat?
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