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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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It's Bosses' day today! I spent all day at the office making these neat paper cutouts for you and making you a hand-painted card too.
Sod the deadline, let's get pissed.
That's an amazingly stupid idea.
I love 90-hour weeks.
Hold on, I'm guessing this call is more important than anything you were about to say
I'm "working from home" today, if you get my drift.
*hiss* *gasp* Yes, my master *hiss*
What do you mean, you've never had a sex change?
Shouldn't you be in senior management at your age?
If you're so f*in clever then you bleedin' well do it
Ahem... Aren't those Miss Pendergrast's pantyhose lying in a heap under your desk? She does go beyond the call of secretarial duty, doen't she?
We're practically family for I've been having a liaison with your wife. But that's not the half of it, your daughter is 7 weeks pregnant.
Badges? We don't need your stinking badges!
Of course I've been taking off early most days at 4PM. I didn't realise until just now that when you hired me you said there was a compulsory "forty hours a week" policy that employees must abide by, I mistook it for a "four tea hours a week" mandate.
I know I came in late, but I'll leave early to make up for it.
Oh, when the application form asked for any previous criminal convictions, I thought it only meant in this country.
"Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?"
Time for another topic, I think

World's Worst Thing To Say To Your Child's Teacher
He's very advanced, you know - he knows how to use Log Tables.
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