Extensive tree pruning has been carried out in my local area. An ancient oak had one of its largest boughs removed. Some local residents protested, but I thought it was a fair lop.
I know how that feels, my vicar's always preaching the virtues of recycling as well. Anyone who doesn't put there green bin out get a lecture until he manages to turn 'em green.
My older son's getting quite good at maths. In measuring the area of a cirle, he's worked out that if you reduce the radius then there's less to square.
Our bread shop tried that one year. He baked laxatives into the bread, we got our own back though. You should have seen the baker loo after we'd done with it.
Some joker has rigged all the seats in my office with an unpleasant surprise for the owners. When someone sits in one they soon discover the arse-nail the swine left for them.
All the shops around here have there christmas stuff out. Before I moved I never saw a christmas tree up prior to December 12th. I wish I was still in my old street.
Bloody hell! Both my neighbours have let the maintenance on their vehicles go for too long, and now every morning I am awakened by the sound of badly adjusted rockers rattling like the Coyote's teeth after a dinner of Acme Earthquake Pills™. My street should be called the Cam Din Road if you ask me.
There's a big rock in the middle of my vegetable patch. I can't lift it and I hoe round it. I told my friend and he said "You can't hoe 'round? So, hoe square" Frankly I could've killed him for that.
I really do need to move out of my US neighborhood, but pulling up roots might leave some big holes in the English landmass and sink that big island into the sea. *sigh*
"Stop messing about" he cried as Douglas Smith urged him to shut-up. His friend Noly Molestrangler Pia had grown tired of his chants yet still the audience cried: "Ken - sing to Noly M. Pia"!
"I believe, sir", said Disraeli, "that it is your turn to call for more refreshments." "You are sadly mistaken, my dear sir", replied Gladstone, "it's Liverpool's treat."
I always remember to do my facial exercises every day when I wake up, so that I am fully ready to respond to anything that happens. I still haven't got the knack of some of the more obscure Oriental exercises from a book I got on my birthday though - in particular the flexibility required for the Morning Tongue Crescent eludes me.