I can get no remedy against this ****tion of the ****:
****ing only lingers and lingers it out,
but the **** is incurable.

**** comforteth like **** after ****.

Little Jack **** sat in the ****, eating his Christmas *****
He put in a **** and pulled out a ***** and said "What a good **** am I!".

On the **** to Mandalay, where the ****ing fishes ****
and the **** comes up like **** out of **** 'cross the ****.

Blow ****, and **** your cheeks! ****! blow!
You ****s and ****s, spout
Till you have drench'd our ****, ****'d the cocks!
You sulphurous and ****-executing ****s,
****-couriers to ****-cleaving thunderbolts,
**** my white ****! And thou, ****-shaking ****,
**** flat the thick rotundity o' the ****!
Crack nature's ****, and **** spill at ****,
That **** **** man!

Thinkin' bout the time you ***** in my car,
Thinkin' that I might have ***** you too far,
Then I'm thinkin' about the **** that you laid on my table....
I told you not to ****** around in the dark,
I told you 'bout the ***** that **** in the park,
Then I told you 'bout our *** now he's ********** Mabel....

Yes I told that the ****** go up-and-down,
Don't you notice how the ****** go round.
And you better pick your **** up off the ground,
Before they ***** the ******* down.
Yes before they ***** the ******* down.

****ing 'bout a girl that ***** quite like you.
She didn't have the **** to **** in the queue.
She ***** away her **** since she fell off the ******.

Rumble thy ****! Spit, ****! Spout, ****!
Nor ****, wind, ****, f*** **** my daughters:
I **** not you, you ****, with unkindness;
I never gave you ****, call'd you ****,
You owe me no ****: then let f***
Your **** pleasure: here I **** your ****,
A poor, infirm, weak, and despised old ****:
But yet I call you **** ****,
That have with two **** daughters ****'d
Your high ****'d **** 'gainst a ****
So **** and **** as this. O! O! 'tis f***!

The King ****ed
The Queen, and
The Queen ****ed
The Dairymaid:
"Could we have some butter for
The Royal **** of ****?"
The Queen ****ed the Dairymaid,
The Dairymaid
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and **** the cow
Now
Before she goes to ****."

[Breadmaster] Fab, and almost topical too...

I've got a lovely bunch of ****,
Here they are a-****ing in a row.
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your ****,
Give them a ****, a flick of the ****,
That's what the **** said...

Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.

Oh please, *** to me
You’ll let me **** your man
And please, *** to me
You’ll let me **** your ****.
Now let me **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.
And when I **** you I feel **** inside.
It’s such a ****ing that my ****
I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide.
Yeah, you’ve got **** ****ing,
I think you’ll understand.
When I’ll say that something
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****,
I want to **** your ****.

I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um,
With my extra ****, diddle-iddle-iddle-um -
Nuff said.

Oh, for a **** of **** that would ascend
The brightest ***** of ******.
A ***** for a ****, ***** to ****
And ***** to behold the swelling ****.

Milking the same cow...
They're ****ing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Alice is ****ing one of the guard.
"A soldier's **** is terrible hard,"
Says Alice.

BM] surely "Christopher Robin went down *** Alice" ?

My **** gone ****, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning **** up my **** and I can't **** at all
And even if I could it'd all be ****, but your **** on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad and

I want to **** you for giving me the best **** of my life
Oh just to **** with you is having the best **** of my life
Push the ****, I'm **** at last and I'm soaking through and through
Then you ****ed me a**** and all I **** is you

When you **** through a *****, hold your **** up high
And don't be afraid of the ****
At the end of the ****, there's a golden ****
And the sweet silver **** of the *****
**** on through the ****, **** on through the ****
Though your ***** be tossed and blown
**** on, **** on with **** in your ****
And you'll never **** alone, you'll never **** alone.

It's been a hard **** night
I've been ******** like a dog

Holding ***** at midnight,
'Neath a starry sky;
Nice work if you can get it -
And you can get it, if you ****.

[StD] Oh, I always felt that line had sufficient innuendo as it was. Maybe I'm just too unwholesome.
**** me baby, **** me all night long.
**** me baby, like my **** ain't got no bone.

Our little **** is four years old and quite a little ****
So we **** out the **** we don't want him to ****
Words like *-O-Y or maybe *-U-*-P-*-*-S-E
But the **** we're ****ing from him now
Tear the **** right out of me.

Our *-*-V-*-R-*-E becomes **** today
**** and little J-*-* will be ****in' away
I **** you both and it will be pure *-E double * for me
Oh, I wish that we could **** this D-*-*-O-*-*-E.