....now and decide later. Currently I have far more important things to bother with than thinking whilst writing, namely....

...opening this tin of stirrup chutney boot polish, with the contents of which I shall cleverly disguise myself as a Victorian chimney-sweep, avoid capture and seek gainful employment in Melbourne. That reminds me: did I ever tell you about the time that I grabbed David Hockney by the......

...Tate Gallery? No? Then I won't bother now, as I can see the number 55 coming. Thats typical, you wait for ages then...

...it goes right past you. Oh well, i shall have to do my best and....

...whilst running after the bus try and remember what on earth I was going to tell you about December. That's right, the exploding...

...Uncle Bulgaria took me completely by surprise. There I was, just strolling through Wimbledon, when...

...DOOSH! and the hedge I was near disappered into an equal ratio of flying debris and smoking crater. If it hadn't been for...

...the the myriad of Christmas lights in the Cherry tree, I would have surely landed on their flasing Father Christmas. When I was back on the ground the householder introduced themselves as...

..Osbournes. Naturally, I turned heel and ran for my sanity. Crossing the common, I happened to notice..

...Ozzy turn into a bat and chase me. I'd have been a goner if it wasn't for the quick arrival of...

...Count Dracula, who immediately launched a lawsuit against him for stealing his idea. I never heard of the outcome; I supposed that they had settled out of court, but this was all inconsequential as I....