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Electric sock treatment
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C'mon, let the dog see the rabbi...
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Ah, Fit ars! I had an Alf 33 Old Cloverleaf once - had to sell it for crap in the end though. My fiend and I had already pathed up the rut and panted it with silver Hammerite, but it was no god. Happy memories though.
Dazed] I think Alf generally makes the pettiest ones.
pen] I had an Alf once for Tree Moths (Sod it)
Duj] Would you like soem oral support ?
Talking of cars, I one had a Orris 000. Oh, and I had a And Over.
Lad Overs? No - for me it's out for a bun on the open road without a car in the world, a rash helmet on my head and a throbbing Harey Davison between my thighs.
Rage Rovers are the best 4-heel drives.
Reminds me of that joke: what's the difference between a Rage Rover and a hedgehog? The picks are on the outside of the hedgehog.
It was freezing last night - my bedroom is very badly insulted.
[st d] His is a game of Lost Consonants. You lot a vowel, but I'll let you off because it made me iggle, and I think I might do the same - I was tasty in bed last night.
[pen] I felt a bit had myself.
Back to ars, I used to dive a Soda
I spent a whole week on a dive bat.
The light out was petty rubbish though.
I don't dive at all. Why is it the inside of most cars smells of perol, or some sort of boy odour? No ice at all.
I passed my diving test at the fist attempt.
Kim] Was it in an automatic, or did you have to change ears ?
No, it had a ear shit.
Or sick.
My driving kills were perfected by the SM School in Camden Town.
I don't like to bag, but I assed my test fist tie.
I am reading Stephe Hawkin's "A Brie History of Tim" at the minute.
[Tuj] It's a wonderfully eccentric gardening manual, dealing as it does with theories of Black Hoes.
[Tuj, blamelewis] I could never get to rips with that ant-matter myself.
I find it hard to control my pants - they just go rampant in the garden, especially in the summer.
I was working in the garden recently and discovered that a muse had made a home in my shed.
[Kim] You could get rid of it by laying down a rap. Or if you're feeling bloodthirsty try to fatten it with a hovel.
[bl] Believe me, I was temped. Especially when I found muse faces all over the floor.
I am an animal over, I hope you set a human tap.
Leave some poisoned read out, you might find a DEA badge in the morning tough.
Naah. I called in a pet controller. They are ermin, after all...
Treat them as pets, that what I say.
Oh damn. I switched off my brain when I made that pot. What a wit.
Dangerous thing to do, switching off one's rain. You could end up ma or dad!
That's why you should use a condo when having sex...
[bl] Does that mean you can have sex all over the hose?
As long as they're not in pubic areas.
[pen] It probably accounts for the cabs
To change the subject; I went to a galley this afternoon and saw some wonderful woks of art; cavings, pantings and cocks all displayed in cabinets.
Yes I often look at art in the Tat gallery near the lobe theatre.
pen] Were any of the cocks as impressive as Big Ben ?
Whenever I need to adjust the time I just ask the speaking cock.
I need my cock to wake me up in the morning.
If my cock goes off, on the other hand, it makes me seep.
I find that my cock needs wining regularly, other wise it runs lowly.
I wish *I* had a cock. Maybe I'll get one from Father Christmas.
My cock got suck last week.
[Kim] After you fixed it, and it started ticking again, did your cock get head?
I was playing with my boyfriend's cock the other day, and he said it just ticked.
I need to pick up a suit from the dry-cleaners at 12 o'clock...but I have such trouble telling the tie.
I picked up a wonderful suit when I was playing bridge in Hatfield the other day. Needless to say it was in Herts.
At the office dinner dance on Friday night, evening war was compulsory.
Was that because all the men had to ring their wives?
Was it a back tie affair?
As angling is so popular I expect there was a dace band.
No, but there was a comb with tree pieces: cell, rum, and ass. They layed some coo tunes.
I think the music was garage but the foo was goo.
I've had a very busy day today and now I'm going off to be.
Mmmm. I was especially fond of the roast bee and brussels spouts
I have a wristwatch that I win by shaking my wrist. I tried wining my cock this way but it made it too fat.
Even with step-ladders I couldn't quite reach the top of the bus I was pruning this afternoon.
I have always preferred rucks to omnibuses as you get the opportunity to hump the bloke in front of you.
Cold weather is forecast for Scotland and farmers are worried about now.
The farmers are particularly cared about now making their bullocks cold (at least I think that's what they said)
I was caught in a lizzard when there was no git on the road but luckily I had a shove in the back and a set of chins.
Baked beans are nutritious but they make you fat.
I'm partial to a nice dish of teak and hips, myself.
I am wary of trying a Tarka Dal because it is a little otter.
I like eating Cantonese, especially their cow men.
I always keep the larder above freezing because the last thing I want is a burst pie.
Well quite. The last thing you need to deal with at this time of year is a food.
I'm partial to a good mice-meat pie this time of year.
I like mice pies, especially if they are mad at home.
Our local council likes to make sure everyone is well-fed during cold weather - they've even sated the roads.
The pavemens round her are very lippy.
When road conditions are bad always give a lift to as many people as possible as you will then drive carfully.
Indeed! Should you do so though, it is best to ensure you have suds on your tyres - this will reduce any lip and minimise anger as much as is possible. Moreover, you will find your friends chucking as they ravel.
Around here they sat the roads for old wether.
I hate it when now turns to lush.
Not so long ago I got caught out by a sow lizzard.
I waked for hours until I finally saw a hose in the distance. I waked up to it, and kocked and kocked, but no one head me.
I would've head you but I was playing with my new cock at the time. I got it for Christmas from an ant who I hardly know. On the other hand, it's nice to get unexpected gifs, innit!
Amateur astronomers living near airports like to look at the planes.
For the New Ear Party we've been told to sparkle and listen, so I'm going to throw litter all over everybody.
[Chalky] I can imagine the sound of the part! (Missing vowel alert) Raised vices, shots and all kinds of noses... I hope you have fun!
Funny sound coming from next door. Hope they haven't got buglers. Spelling apologies.
[Rosie] Its probably just their randy teenage daughter, the little trumpet.
She's a bit chubby, probably because she likes Heavy Meal. (Kim)V. Good!
Saw that film Jaws the other day. It's all about a Sark attack. Those Chanel Islands don't half smell y'know.
That's no air! I'm from the Chanel Islands and we don't sell any worse than oters. Besides, what about all our Sing Flowes sent to the UK markes?
My mate's gone fishing. His wife always worries that he'll catch cod.
I quite understand that, Rosie. Then again, aging has always been fraught with anger.
I can't sand fising. It is so boeing, its just like droning worms in the water.
So true, Duj, and even though still quite hirsuite I cannot halt the passing of the ears.
The time to start worrying is when your face is covered in winkles and your muscles waken.
I am almost as od as Rosie, so I know how ones boy starts to run to see.
One need not age prematurely; just keep one foot in the rave.
You all seem to have stopped posing.
[st *******] I had no reason to arouse until you arrived. Now, though, I'm going to celebrate.
I thought about the ceremony with me and Penelope..she said I was already marred
Has this game come to a hat already ?
News from the pig., anyone?
In the country they've all got shotguns, so that's why Old MacDonald Had An Arm.
I used to live in the county and all the armers had Shoguns and dove to lay pidgeon hoots.
I saw an ox hut and it was very impressive with so many hoses and eagles chasing the ox. Tall o.
It's pouring with rain but I need some food so it looks as if I'll have to go sopping.
I too had to resort to the hops today (not that that's unusual!)
The ran in Span stays manly in the plan.
The armers near were I used to live often went out peasant shooting.
[Softers] Did they use eaters to lush out those tasty birds?
Talking of tasty birds, did you see that Clare Short is campaigning against Age Three Girls?
[Chalky] How can they think of stopping such a popular tradition of 'it' girls?
I wanted to read some stories about mathematicians so I got out my old school Logarithm Tales.
I used to find mats hard at school, but I liked woo work.
Very progressive school, mine. In the gym we had E.
I was a bit of a sot at school and I became head of our hose.
I'm thinking of selling one of my trombones so I'd better practise my sales. (Softers) Shall we let someone else play?
rosie] I like it when you pay all the time.
I'm off to bed. It's been a top tart sort of day.
(Santa Dogma) Don't be fooled! I'm a Credit Cad. (Kim) Lucky you. I haven't pulled anyone. :-(
Some are more fortunate than others, I'm a debt card!
Oh stinky pooh! That was a missing vowel.

Still, credit cards are good if you are happy to use the ever ever payment system.
Incidentally, Kim, I have mounted some art pieces in my bedroom.
My headmaster told me I would never mount to anything.
I don't know whether or not this was good, but I was always sow in Junior School - my teachers always seemed to be finishing my wok for me. On the upside, this made me look better.
My mater at our school used to make me sand in the corner with a duce hat on my head.
There's going to be snow next week, and we'll all feel just a bit older.
It is going to get cod and we may have sow later in the wee. So we will all need to rap up to say war.
*sigh* I remember once when I was on a hospital war.
[pen] I was in hospital twice last year having both my knees robed, a procedure designed to dress the problem.
[Software] If the sow gets heavy, it may start to rift.
[Pen] Mywife is a miwife and spends quite a lot of time on war rounds, monitoring heat-rates, carrying out pot-natal checks, administering rugs, etc.
When it's too cold for witches to be out they go back to the oven.
I like throwing sow balls. (Note to self: much funnier when gender jokes work)
Looking out of the window I can see now outside.
I can see from my widow that the now did not last very long.
We have not had now here, though the the win is very cod.
[Software] I recommend that you keep your widow shut. This keeps the drat out.
I made a sow anel earlier and now my coat is covered in mu.
Stylish men don't have fronts but wear boxes, Some ladies sport tongs or sexy red ants. I say bring back the string vet.
A string vet is no good for keeping the arm in and the old out. You need a seater for that.
I once had a sting vet, but all the hoes ran into one, leaving me very cod.
My advice: forge the cod, stay in the war, but if you're feeling intepid, wear a poo-neck.
Now the wether has armed up, I don't need to wap up as much so that is goo.
Oy, Software, leave my national icons alone. Vegemite® is goo!
Only if you spread it on bead.
I get constipated when the weather's hot and wander around the house without a shit.
I don't mind the odd lash, provided the lighting is really good.
Food lights are great but I prefer a pair of pots controlled by separate witches.
I'd go for the light of the Bumblebee everytime. And there's the ting at the end to look forward to.
My car is dirty and stays out all night so I'm going to have it spayed.
[Rosie] re: your dirty car - if it tries to mount the pavement, just throw a bucket of cod water over it.
My car is amphibious and goes fast on the strait. (Chalky) It often does but paradoxically it's the tyre, not the pavement, that gets fucked.
I dive a spots car, which is very fat.
I drive an old Proon.
Do we think this game has, perhaps, run its curse?
[Kim] Indeed. The end of the word as we know it. What's the winning lie?
I think there is still lie in the old do yet.
There's a windswept garage at the top of the hill that sells moors.
[Rosie] What a load of garage!
(Kim) Not my cup of tea. I prefer a Sting quartet. But steer me well away from County.
[Rosie] As a teenager, I was into gunge.
(Kim) I used to like gospel rock, e.g. Buddy Holy.
In my day it was Ill Haley, Cliff Ricard and The Sadows, Tomy Seel, Rank Ifield and all those kind of po siners.
Cliff, we know, released a lot of hit records.
I particularly liked the baroque style of the Bach Boys. (Kim) Too right!
IT'S A COKUP (sic). I've left out a vowel instead of a consonant. Sorree!
I enjoyed the Shadows. Their lighter shade of ale was good stuff.
If there's one thing that turns on an alcoholic masochist it's a good biter. (Duj) Must've been a cover version. :-)
You are on the button, Rosie; I (on occasion) love overs!
I used to like fok siners in the '60's, like the Sining Nun, for example.
Surely they were overshadowed by the Beales?
Not to mention The Doos?
Most instruments in a jazzband are in B flat and some players get a bit sniffy if they have to play harps. (This is true, regrettably. St Louis Blues is in G, not F. Likewise Birdland, Lady be Good etc etc. Grrr!)
I met a bloke in a g-string once; fortunately for me we didn't lick.
I licked a piece of dog shit off my shoe.Luckily I had a long sick in my jacket pocket.
Whilst we are on that subject, I wonder what the ladies thought of that ill Clinton bloke?
And again; what do the ladies think of the U.K.'s rime Minister? Cold or what?
Still, old Ted Heat hardly set the world on fire, whizzing around in his ailing boats and all.
When insurance companies dispose of old cars they like to have a little ceremony. A sort of rite-off.
I owed my old car to the crap yard where they put it in the rusher.
I've now got a Vauxhall Corsa, leased by the Mafia. A sort of Cosa Nostra.
I own a Mazda, but one of the best selling brands here is a Toota.
Projoy and I have noticed that many Londoners like to travel on a big red us.
I never use buses. I get fed up standing on bus tops.
Yes, I agree but a tax is more expensive.
I find waking very pleasurable - and cheap, of course.
Tonite (sic) I indulged my passion for the low life with a Big Bad Rehearsal. (Kim & Softers) Neat. :-)
[Rosie] Are pecked hens welcomed at such adventures?
As a reputable builder you may have to cope with window fame.
I got a gazing company to change all my widows.
My window frames need repanting - the existing pantwork is peeing.
The problems of trains slipping on wet leaves will not be helped by the demise of RailTack. (Darren) Ahem, it's a consonant you're supposed to leave ou.
What about the problem of the "wrong kind of sow"?
But is the rain still a viable form of transport in this day and age? [Rosie] I did eave one out, at the end!
Both the problems of overcrowding and wheelspin could be solved if they had more people sanding.
The old steam trains had sad boxes on each wheel.
How are heels different, as regards modern trains?
The wheeltreads are dirtier, because they're not used for baking. (They use disc brakes).
Does someone have to lean them now?
My grandfather was a hunter on the GWR.
I expect he knew lots of the old rivers.
What sort of things would a shunter do in his wok?
Sorry for bod, force of habit.
Both my grandfathers are dad. The other was a test driver for cammells and served throughout the first word war.
(Darren) He'd have tried to bake runaway wagons. (plump) My Dad's dad, let alone grandparents.
Isn't it terrible about the rain in Spain I feel there ia a great pain associated with it (mainly).
One of my grandfathers was an actor. My other was an actress.
[Kim] Were they exclusively on the sage, or did they do the licks too?
I always fancied treading the boars.
Ah yes, to be a layer, hat fun.
Is that a layer in the Hamlet sense, or a layer in the "sue him" sense?
Or is it a layer in the Buffy sense?
I think I'd find difficulty in keeping my &s off her.
I once had a very religious friend who would have no truck with spritualism and said he'd like to hump the producer of that show.
I've lost the third 'i'.
I don't beleive in hosts.
Things that go "bum" in the night......
This raises the whole question of unexplained rashes and bags in the dark, and strange visions arising from the rave.
Presumably occurring in a hunted house.
I heard tell of an apathetic ghost who couldn't have cared less.
Unfortunately I tend to talk with my mouth full; it's my bread and utter.
One needs to exercise more decorum eith inner arties.
Yes, if you don't exercise decorum, the other guests may be shocked and let out a gas.
That's neat, Darren, but is it art?
Well, whatever it is, I hope it's not far.
I've heard spouts are good for that...
Some asses smell. Most are lean.
Flatus contains a fair amount of ethane. Er . . very subtle chemical-type joke. Ahem.
Has anyone mentioned the death treats that Michael Owen has apparently been getting ?
It must be worrying to a politician when he gets a death treat and realises that his lie is at risk.
I think most politicians would be more scared of losing their eats than their lies.
Caring politicians? I'll believe it when I see it.
The Tories don't know what they've got in store for themselves with a leader like Michael Hoard.
Well if they win the next election that will be a nasty hock for me.
The next government will probably still be liar led.
death move stance!
A poor summer is predicted. Ice-cream vendors won't like that kind of long-rage forecast. Ignore ALL long-range forecasts BTW; they're bollocks. Trust me; I'm ex Met-Office. :-)
If you want to know the shot range forecast, just take a loo outside.
Yes, there is a lot of loud cover.
Do you reckon there will be any lighting?
No. The lights have gone out. It's probably due to a witch.
I heard its a russian witch is in charge of the lighting. That spells rouble to me.
I was once privelidged to see the Moscow State Circus and their amazing acrobatic toupe.
Privileged , even.
Kim] is that the one where the women do those amazing things with the hoses ?
When I saw it, they had dancing ears.
You guys are all fools.You need a glock 9mm to blow somethign up. Man im from the hood from where you need that to survive everyday.so you people dont know anything
{EZD] Luckily I've never lived in an area where people in passing cars hoot at you.
EZD] what a cut !
I think what we have here is a roll.
Today is beautiful, the sun is sining through my widow.
Yes, there's not quite as many cod hills in the air.
Its so much nicer now we have all put our cocks forward.
Yes I'm glad we are free of GM.
Cures! The cat sat on the mat.
I am going away tomorrow and I won't be back for a wee. I hope I shall enjoy the short beak.
I wish I was off for a wee. Quite fancy a holiday in ales at this time of ear.
I'm lying to Iceland on Wednesday. We're saying at the minimum-comfort Salvation Army Hotel... seeping bags and bunks for us!
My garage is full of garage.
God knows what's in my garage. Certainly ain't pots.
Hrmph! You lot should come down here and have a look - my garage has a roo on it.
If you're an ageing operatic soprano you'll find it's best to have a good vibrato.
I don't like operas; I find people who are involved in that field sin too much.
Well, as most are in foreign languages, I find I can't follow the tory.
My favourite is Wagner's Rig.
I have a penchant for sting quartets.
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