mc5 - Carpe Diem - Fish of the Day

Ascend the woman's ladder.

And, to keep gil happy,

matkailutoimisto

gil

Thank you, rab. This, of course, literally means "Never rely on cattle to find their way in fog". (A well-known Finnish proverb - now used to designate Tourist Bureaux)

Ratgeber und Rundfahrten

Literally "Ratgobbler and Roundfarter", this is a popular German sitcom about an eponymous firm of lawyers.

si vis pacem, para bellum

If life is peaceful, it seems beautiful.

Die hellen Funken, welche dem Beschauer,
Genährt von Strahlen, die der Sonn entsprühten,
Wann sie versank, des Lichtes Blick vergüten,
Sie leben selbst nur eine Blumentrauer.

mick

Dos Equis -- two horses

[ignoring mick, who seems to be playing to different rules]

Death is funky as hell, like going to Wales for a shower,
Get arty as you're strolling, sprout yourself in the Sun,
When you fall down, lick the licky bit of a gun,
You levitate yourself, now behind the trail, plant a flower

Vége jó minden jó.

Eat vegetables and grow thin.

si monumentum requiris, circumspice

Ibid

We need a statue of the Sporty Spice.

A mulher e a sardinha querem-se da mais pequenina

penelope

[Ibid] Almost eggsactly what I had in mind - but with Jewish Spice instead. :o)

Boolbar

If I eat another sardine I'll turn into a penguin.

Ta bean in Eirinn a phronnfadh sead damh is mo shaith le n-ol

Thanks for putting the bean in, Erin - on the phone, my father said, "Damn, it's more than my job's worth."

Rehellisyys maan perii.

CdM

RE: Hell is a man called Pierre

J-P
You're on to something here, but can't you say something more general? Does he have to be named Pierre? Only one man? Just men -- or women too? Maybe it's all other people you mean? Think about it.
Yrs, Simone.

Voetsek!

Voter apathy

'Kto pierdz'i ten s'mierdz'i'

The Japanese horse has done ten poos!

Miraa-san no otoo-san to okaa-san wa ogenki desu ka.

The Ford Ka design brief openly stated there were to be no mirrors, no toilets and no whales included.

Mann og viv er eitt liv.

A man with wide eyes has eight lives.

O-negai shimas

[Raak] erm . . repetition [4 or so pages back] - so I will also repetish my previous translation:
My veins contain blood that is both rare and glistening.

Willst meinem schätzchen dich machen beliebt?

If I have a crap, will you believe me? (Said to a customs officer who suspects one of carrying illegal substances in a dark place.)

[Chalky] What can I say but:
sumimasen

Tuj

The new enforcement branch of the Freemasons is made up of large Japanese types in small underwear.

Carthago delenda est

I'm renting out my carthorse.

I dag raud, i morgon daud.

I was a navvy because my father was Welsh.

Si monumentum requiris, circumspice.

Victoria insists that it is imperative that the statue of David show the lad circumcised.

Consiga su pie de mi bola

DrQu+xum

I'll give you a pie if you can clean bowl me.

Xondo wako

This was how The Sun originally broke the news of Kubla Khan's excessive pleasure-dome building.

Den Menschen mit dem Himmel verbinden: eine Studie zu den katechetischen Homilien des Theodor von Mopsuestia

Dan mentioned putting the hammer in the bin: a study of the cat-cheating home loan of St. Theodore of the Swiss Mop.

trockenbeerenauslese

The stone in my drink renders it useless.

Abrochense los cinturatos

A broach was lost in the tumble-dryer

Trekken voor uitgaang

The gang of four are now known as 'The Group of Odd Walkers' (i.e. - Roughly translated - "The Ministry of Funny Walks")

Err ...

Una comida y yo decentes somos cualquier persona

This is the advertising line for a Spanish remake of "Queer as Folk": "A comedy about ten somewhat queer people."

domo arigato gozaimasu

The Millennium dome will be disassembled and shipped to a farm in Malta.

Overstaap bij brug

Fall off the bridge.

D'er ingen så lang han ei må tøya seg, og ingen så låg han ei må bøya seg.

In comes the new single from Toyah and out goes the Boyzone single.

Baszom a sza'd sze'le't, Sanyika'm!

The videofilm showed that her bosom resembled that of a sad skeleton.

Warum liess ich das band auch hängen so lang?

Girl bands like 'Spice' don't hang around for long.

Nie Sagen nie wieder

They're neither saggy nor too wide.

Bend boge brest.

I'm sorry, but I can't translate this on a site that children may see.

Mi dispiaci, non lo so!

The stuff I phone through is truly awful.

A piacere mano destro

The sleight of the hand deceives the eye.

Dinsdag kartonnendozen dag is.

The dog's dinner that comes in twelve boxes is 'it'.

Kommentiertes Vorlesungsverzeichnis

This DVD has a commentary track.

Pupukahi i holomua.

Dog memorials: holograms a speciality!

Ce que femme veut, Dieu le veut.

Give women the vote - god help you!

Voor me het is de echte dinge

gil

As far as I can see, this is a real Australian wild dog.

Dinna fash yersel

Salted fish for dinner.

Fihi-ma-fihi

My turntable is malfunctioning

Da's kloten van de bok

Dad has spilt cream on the book

Wasser dragen naar de zee

You wanna drag down the promenade?

Su detrás, aunque grande, es exquisito.

Your detritus is not only large, but exquisite.

Er verdrinken meer mensen in een glas dan in zee.

I bet I can drink you under the table!

mijn bromfiets is in het kanaal

My bromine-impregnated insoles are advertised on the Shopping Channel.

Scrivo sol per sfogar l'interna doglia

Write only using sugar on the doggynet

Ma ei räägi palju eesti keelt

Mother's scruffy friend is a kilt-wearing Jew.

Schon scharret mein rösslein mit lustigem fuss.

This cherry goes red at the first sign of fuss.

Quando finisce la partita, i pedoni, le torri, i cavalli, i vescovi, i due re e le due regine tutti vanno nello stesso scatolo.

Who invited these two queens to a party thrown for the Cavalry, bullfighters and fashion designers?

zet uw kaas bovenop de bank

Was that your car that's driven up the bank?

Mi si e' rizzato il cazzo

I see you've made a risotto out of the cat! (Line from a 1960s American domestic sitcom.)

Certum est, quia impossibile.

Certified impossible.

quod erat faciendum

You're being facetious.

Crea fama y acuéstate a dormir.

Become famous by sleeping in your extensive grounds.

Ars longa sed vita brevis.

A bigger bottom leads to a shorter life.

Confutatis maledictis,
Flammis acribus addictis:
Voca me cum benedictis.
Oro supplex et acclinis,
Cor contritum quasi cinis:
Gere curam mei finis.

This poem was found written in the margins of a copy of the Carmina Burana, itself a somewhat rude and earthy work, and is an explicit description of a gay SM scene. I shall tastefully but sketch the content: Let the sinner be seized and punished with burning flames; let him call out for my blessed [ahem]. With a supple, wide open mouth and a contrite heart he behaves as a dog; in the end he will thank me on his knees.

I'll link to the next quote rather than writing it here. The quote.

Re-arrange these matchsticks into a well-known sonnet.

Vergin tutto amor, sospiri di foco