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Carpe Diem - Fish of the Day
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One player will provide a word or phrase in another language, and the next will furnish us with an erudite translation and then a word or phrase of their own...
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The new "Princess Diana" Barbie!
[Raak] Ewwwww!

ceci n'est pas un pipe

Call a plumber

Arigatou

A very lite cake.

naDevvo' peghoS
I see that everyone's having difficulty with this. That's because it's in Glaswegian. It means: "No, David, Margaret's with us", but it doesn't crop up much in day to day conversation.

Hur mycka kostar det?

How much would it cost to have my jaw fixed

Ich bin ein berliner

One bin, one binliner.

zut alors!

Lawyer's clothing

Cosi Fan Tutti
A trumpet fan in a pull over.

plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Please exchange these, along with mother's shoes.

Nessun Dorma

Let sleeping monsters lie

Alea jacta est

Cassius clay's next career choice dictum meum pactum est
I still have my own genitals.

pons asinorum

Homosexuality is evil.

dieu et mon droit

Oh God, the only man around is a robot.

Vet du vad klockan är?
Faulty ventilation at the animal hospital.

Llongyfarchiadau
Uttered by restive theatre audiences, this literally means, "what a long-drawn-out farce this is!"

gradatim et punctatim

Grade Tim - and then punch him

Morituri te salutant

If it doesn't move and you can't eat it, salute it. (Roman Army maxim)

Makan siap, Tuan!

Let your mother go shopping if she wants

Klaatu barada nikto

- That loose floorboard's given me a splinter

Also Spracht Zarathrustra

Zara not only goes like a train, she can hold an intelligent conversation as well.

Grüss Gott

Obese goat.

Duit On Mon Dei

weekend procrastination decus et tutamen
Decking for a gents toilet.

quelle heure est il
lodge]to put a beak between the translation and your move insert <p> or <br> to start a new line

I demand the least diseased prosititute in the house!

mein hoote hat drei ecke
[inkspot ta]
The siren at the pit is now dry, Eric.

La plume de ma tante

The flag on my marquee

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

A bit obtuse this one... A survey of a jaded revolutionary and a painter came out in favour of fatherhood.

Bengoshi dewa arimasen

Bengosh's weapons of mass destruction training video. Siyo! (Huko) Shoka yangu kichwanil! To see what that really means visit http://www.yamara.com/junk/xl970512.html
Bengosh's weapons of mass destruction training video.To see what that really means visit http://www.yamara.com/junk/xl970512.html
Argh! Hang the html! The phrase is Siyo! (Huko) Shoka yangu kichwanil!.

tir na nog

pull the microscopic gangster obviously
qui veux gagne des bonbons see google hits
He is a member of the Bon-Bon terrorist gang.

Siyo etc. means "I dare you to stick a fork in the toaster!"

ahlan wa sahlan

Drunk in charge of a dinghy.

pour encourager les autres.

Writers are fuelled by drink.

char siew
The color of vomit.

Ca bhfuil do sheomra leaba?
[I googled for that, and clicked the "Translate this page" button. This was the result. Read the very top of that page.]
[Raak] I presume it's actually a Celtic language in real life?

Are you confused about your shoe laces?

Quattro formaggi

Baroness Thatcher's Audi.

Béagán agus a rá go maith
Solve:

Msuri sana

I'm sure I'm sane, so will you please take this straitjacket off?

Vakmanschap is meesterschap

Walkman users are male.

Eodem cogimur, unde negant redire quemquam

Get me more dutch cheese, and don't change channels.

teknillinen yliopisto

No, I have no idea how that pesto got on the bed sheets.

Vorsprung durch technik

Carol Vorderman has stolen all the interesting consonants

Veni Vidi Vici

Come and watch my pornography

Apres moi le deluge

I'm first in the queue for the shower

Je n'ai que mon âme

I uphold the right to bare arms.

fiat justitia, ruat coelum

You are legally obliged to buy an Italian car, but the ignition coils in them are corroded.

Non sequitur

No secretaries.

Per ardua ad astra

Amount of work required to make an advert for a small Vauxhall car.

Sic Transit Gloria

Being nauseated on the Northern Line somewhere between Euston and Camden Town.

Llyfrgell Owen
Lovely goal! that's my son Owen.
thank you DrQ

merci beaucoup

What a lovely view of the ocean you have from this hatchery!

Was kostet das Benzin pro Liter?
What fee did Tony Benn accept to promote metrication?

Arbeit macht frei

On the contrary, I survived the date without receiving any hickeys.

Je ne peux plus bouger ma voiture
You smell, and you commit indecent acts with scavenging birds. (traditional insult)

bo le bata is capall le ceansact

Cromwell banning cricket; punishable by death.

Twll dîn pob Sais! *grabs coat in a hurry*
Return those tools to the pub and make it snappy

i gran dolori sono muti

The Great Dolores is my mother

Hänschenklein ging allein in die weiter Weld hinein

The water is warm.

Je ne comprends pas

This bag won't carry all my shopping.

Alea Jacta Est

Alia would like to be known as "Jack" since the operation.

comme ci, comme ça

Would you like to examine my precise punctuation?

rusticus expectat dum defluat amnis

Country people know that animals fart.

Amantium irae amoris integratio est

I love it when a plan comes together.

curriculum vitae

School is compulsory

I believe the following is grammatically incorrect, but I'm quoting the song:
voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir

Get off the bench and on the court -- your serve.

Y Ddraig Goch ddyry gychwyn
As best I can figure it out, Dr Q, you mean

"If you wore drag you would look just like Ira Gershwin"

Nonlo faccia, per favore.
No pouting, please.

È pericoloso da appoggiarsi a fuori

Periwinkles stuffed with hot chillies. (Yum!)

- áíÓ äÈí ÈáÇ ßÑÇãÉ ÅáÇ Ýí æØäå! ..

Oops. It worked in the page I copied it from. Here's a replacement:

Areopagitica

Oops again. I hope I haven't screwed up the formatting...
Ah. Ok now.

Areopagitica

What astronauts must use to keep in touch until mobile phone masts are erected on Mars (only a matter of time).

Ecce homo!
The Queen's Speech

Pro schola grates agimus vetusta
Be grateful that your education has accelerated your body's progression into old age.

Hej Gamle Man

High Roller in New Orleans.

Har du sedd min kaslonger?
Have you stuck my tape-head cleaner up your arse again?

primus inter pares
My camping stove is in pieces

Teo torriate konomama iko

My mother has run off with a theatrical troupe.

Barbara celarent darii ferio baralipton

Barbara quickly makes Darius a strong cup of tea
[Having introduced him to the wonderful concept of mnemonic syllogisms].

LOLOLO FUNEX?

A limbo dancing party.

Ave imperator, morituri te salutant!

"When the bird-people rule, I will kill all conservatives as a warning!"

Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre
"Legs will be broken at the toga party"

Egy sör, kérem.
I will pelt you with eggs, sir churl!

Gradus ad Parnassum

Students may find mountaineering expensive

Gluckliche Reise

T.A.T.U. has a new hit.

Forlat, Jag tanke den var min ben.
My Jaguar needs refuelling with four-star, but I refuse to buy anything from a petrol station run by that varmint, Ben.

Son pittore ancor io!

For pity's sake, child, tie down the moons of Jupiter!

So de wa arimasen yo!
Da fizzy mineral water is well wicked.

abiit excessit evasit erupit

If you keep playing with it, it will fall off.

allegro ma non troppo

This is an early model, with a speed limiter

Arma virumque cano

Viagra is made from dog's bollocks.

megaloblatta blaberoides

"I'm really great, so I'm going to kill anyone who mentions haemorrhoids."

Der Befehl Speichern unter

No-one failed to notice that his favourite collection of hedgehogs were escaping from the bottom of his trousers.

Honores mutant mores

When in the company of Daily Mail readers, be sure to respect their customs.

me genoi!
I'm a cherry cake

Sacre bleu!

Blue sugar!

Je plie et ne romps pas.

I've got a headache

solventur risu tabulae: tu missus abibis!

I can't glue the table: the wife's drunk it!

hande hoch

I have pawned my limbs.

Er is aan alles een overvloed.

Eh oop, there's summat nowt right about me computer...

Credo, quia impossibile est.
It's tough to be hip these days.

deus ex machina

I have a teacup with cracks in the shape of Jesus' face.

Wovon mann nicht sprechen kann, darüber muss man schweigen.

The transvestite with the face like a haddock is left speechless.

Får jag låna din öl?
How far does your Jaguar go before it needs an oil change?

Wirken Sie mit!

We are huge fans of Kenneth's fingerless glove

Pleon hemisy pantos

I prefer to think of the trousers as being half full.
Bugger - I was going to say "Sooty has not done enough exercise!"

À la recherche du temps perdus

"Time for grilled chicken!"

Håll den här medans jag sticker.
I hold my hair on with glue.

verb. sap.

Tree speak.

La Bamba

Cute Italian deer - less than a year old

Zut alors!

My jacket is blowing away

chateax maison

Massage parlour vorsprung durch technik
It just popped out during Metalwork!

Oppidum antemeridialum corniculatum [I sense fatigue is setting in; would someone like to do the honours?]

Mornington Crescent.
Although, really, I wouldn't mind carrying on with it.

Vous souhaitez louer une voiture?

Will you make sweaty love with me in my car?

tumulus simulacrorum

This is actually a false beer belly I am wearing.

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

The dragon is exhausted after getting a lap dance.

Neis cwrdd â chi
You nose has bad karma.

Cymru

A sort of rice cake made from the excretions when a person is aroused.

Ich bin ein auslander.

I've hidden the body of an Australian among the refuse.

Schreib mal wieder!

Open your mouth wider and scream (as the Nazi dentist said to Dustin Hoffman).

obscuris per obscurum

Honestly - there's no need to hide the label on that cheap bottle of bacardi.

Cosi fan tutte

A frilly teapot ventilator.

É aquela uma banana em seu bolso?

Will one banana from the sea make you angry?

Est-ce qu'il y a du fromage?
Is your age making you feel unwell?

Hij was toen 43 jaar.

He died of eating 43 jars of pickled tuna.

Et dixit fiat lux; et lux fit.

The fat dictator was a perfect fit for his luxury Fiat.

der bestirnte Himmel uber mir und das moralische Gesetz in mir

Heaven is stunted over Mir, for there is ghostly morality within.

En arche en ho logos, kai ho logos en pros ton theon, kai theon en ho logos.
"In order to improve homeland security, all American citizen will need to have the Statue of Liberty and American flag tattooed on their foreheads."

Éamonn atá orm.
Your husband is home.

De historie zal deze oorlog beschouwen als een van de keerpunten in deze eeuw.

History will show that long strands of Izal have been stashed in the van secreted in the boathouse alongside the slumbering ewe.

Suppressio veri suggestion falsi

Please don't ask again about my breast implants.

Na bardito taynel o pogekône!

In the Bardo, it costs one conical podume to enter the tunnel (of rebirth).

D'argent a la fasce d'azure, charge d'un soleil de gules.

It's urgent that you cover your face with gemstones: a seagull has just flown into the sun.

Eh. Mitä ihmettä?

$1000 to whack him. [Indistinguishable Brooklyn Gangster Jibberish.]

Que horas são?
Is this pig really a prostitute?

So desu ne!
So don't sue me!

borgen macht sorgen

Burgers give you a tummy ache

Çà n'fait rien

Such is fate.

Sans souci

Without ketchup.

Doch jeder tötet, was er liebt.

You may have either tortoise, whichever you prefer.

Rauchen verboten

Rowers for boats.

Alles Vergängliche
ist nur ein Gleichnis
Das unzulängliche
Hier ist ereignis
Das unbeschreibliche
Hier ist's getan
Das ewig-weibliche
Zieht uns hinan.
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!

ardha baddha padmottanasana

That's a nasty looking verruca.

sul ponticello

Don't sulk, you poncy cellist!
Pogue mahone dubh
"Our sex life is fine." -- First Lady Laura Bush

Suoraan eteenpäin
Suffering from teenage angst

E pluribus, unum

If there are so many buses, how come I haven't seen one yet?

Je pense, donc je suis.
When I'm thinking, I dip swiss rolls in my tea.

Quod esse non potest

Don't protest about Status Quo

Ho fatto una gran cazzata
Hey fatso, is that your grandmother on your arm?

ceteris paribus

The badgers are laughing together

Pleidiol wyf i'm gwlad

I'm glad your wife plays too.

Ich habe bauchschmerzen
I have slime on my back.

Hur gör man sin egen sida?

Herman Göring was a sinful man, despite his home brewed cider.

Ite, missa est
Here are the weapons of mass destruction.

mutatis mutandis

X-Men 2

nuqDaq yuch Dapol?

Who threw up on my model railway?

Fac ut gaudeam

Bloody Hell, that CD's LOUD

Ne vous tenez pas sur mes orteils, svp
Hint; It's nothing to do with the lack of italics.
Don't play tennis with me, it's such an ordeal.

I campi obbligatori sono in grassetto

I'll only do my Liberace impression once I'm stoned.

Non, je ne regrettes rien!

Nuns shouldn't mock egrets.
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?
Are you a couch lesbian?

gibier de potence

gibber over the pot

Strewth!

Third person singular of "strew". When used as an interjection, the subject is understood to be "God": "God strewth" refers to the divine bounty in creating the remarkable spectacle that has provoked the speaker's ejaculation.

Ne ekersen onu bicersin

No ejaculation without fornication

Ferro tunicam!

The camera attached to the tunafish is made of iron!

J'ai pollette d'arnu
These female parrots have just hatched.

ma non parlo l'italiano molto bene

My mother decided not to redecorate the parlour in Italian style. She's using molten beans instead.

Mens sana in corpore sano
The men's sauna includes sandwiches

Mamma Mia!

Look at my breasts!

Memento mori

I remember more! (The slogan of a memory training course.)

lapsus linguae

Pasta with reindeer sauce

Khob Khun Krab
Corn with seafood.

Im Sommer fallen die dicken Leute auf, im Winter die dünnen.

Do not loiter with your genitals exposed in the month of August, because you will fall down dead in December.

Yassoo Kombare!

Hi ho Silver! (Or possibly Gold, depending on the inflection).

Dos pesos.

Dole money.

Entrer dans une firme
(An order by Mr. Parslow's wife.)

Dwi'n hoffi Llambed
Come in for a coffee - my bed's soft too! ..... Dreaming - I've never had an invite like that.

Há um cabelo em minha sopa.

I ordered my supper on the internet

Jeg herpa gitaren min med en saks
My guitar has herpes and my doctor is a saxophone.

casus belli

Incoming telephone call

dulce de leche
This milk is too quiet.

El que se queja, faltas tiene.

All your quizzes fail to grasp the rudimentary questions.

Et ego in Arcadia vixi.

And I play Tails the fox in Sonic the Hedgehog videogames.

In dubio pro reo.

George Bush is in favour of Brazil

tum chuutya ho
Belly-dancer cum prostitute.

Mirabile visu

Mein Führer, I can see!!!

Ne plus ultra

The slogan for the relaunch of neon.

Et tu, Brute?
"So, Olive, yous had one, and Wimpy had one, and Sweet Pea had one, and I's had one...."

A shaynem dank dir im pupik.
Shy men get clammy when they speak of puppies.

Selg ikke skinnet før bjørnen er skutt

Before you can skin the bear, you must kill it.

loc. cit.

Lock Cup

(Raak) That's stunningly close to the real translation. Was that deliberate??

Una mezza verità è una bugia intera.

[Darren] No, but I guessed that it might be.
Una Stubbs messed up big time when she attempted buggery.

Kai ta leipomena, kai ta loipa??

And your unordained Englishman, is he a wolf?

Aux armes citoyens!
Formez vos bataillons,
Marchons, marchons!
Qu'un sang impur
Abreuve nos sillons.
Citizens with extra limbs!
Ferment your watery soup,
My friends, my friends!
I've sung rude songs
Which were short but silly.

Wer jung reitet, geht alt zufuss.

We're young rats, so get lost, old zookeepers!

Kokoa kokoon koko kokko.

How to prepare Pollo con mole

[Darren] I thought that one was "Citizens, to arms! Form your batallions! The martians are coming!

Pollo con mole
Come assist me with my mole survey.

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre!

It's good, but it's not lager.

Moi aussi

I'm Rolf Harris.

Ogni corso d'acqua ha la sua sorgente.

An Australian friend

A, zer parea! Karakola eta barea!

Ahem, sorry, didn't pay attention to being simulposted. Darren's was of course
Of course, Daiquiris for the Seargeant.
Ah, the pariah who ate a bear with Coke!

Katsastuseste-ratsastatkos vai yksikseskos yskiskelet?

Can you hear me over the noise of my deflating inner tube?

Pour encourager les autres.

Lesbian writers are cowards.

[Dunx] Curses, simulposted. My phrasebook gives that as My fellow felines! Let us meet at the rodent steakhouse, where we shall eat fried Whiskas until we throw up. Obviously a phrase where context is everything.

2 ou 3 choses que je sais d'elle

[Dunx's one] It takes bravery to eat porridge.
[matt's one] You can have any 2 or 3 of these women.

Ein Neger mit Gazelle zagt im Regen nie.

[matt] Sorry, when I saw the word "simulpost" I assumed blindly you hadn't done one for Dunx. I just realised you did.
One enchanted night with the poised gazelle ensured the longevity of his reign.

poly phlois boio thalasses

I love many boys and girls.

nisi dominus frustra

It can be frustrating trying to keep your home nice.

Brekekekex, ko-ax, ko-ax!
Send a repairman immediately! My television aerial has broken!

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre!

Bzzzzzt! Repetition (see above).
[BM] I think he's doing it on purpose; his previous one was a repetition too!
Dollis Hill
Dull ease ill
Démenti D'Ongar
[BM, CdM] Thank you for your forbearance - I think I'll just stop trying to play now.
Is DrQ's one meant in earnest?
[Darren] Yes.
In that case, Démenti D'Ongar = Uncontrollable male libido

Méchant poulain peut devenir bon cheval

When I'm poorly I sing and keep a big shovel under the beadspread.

Nove polegadas são demasiado curtas

[Darren - Superb!]
That polecat matches the curtains back at my cottage.

Una paloma blanca

A large bottle of Tipex

Zrob-co, bo cie zdupcza
"Zrob Co." - the place to buy teacups.

Faccio una piccola passaggiata.
I am about to cut a small passageway. (Said by a surgeon giving a demonstration to his students.)

tant pis

This wine is awful.
La mesa no es larga
You should have seen the one that got away.

Res ipsa loquitur

This residence features a door of your own that locks.

See ma Ma? See fush? Ma Ma cannae staun' fush.

What do you mean, "last orders"?

J'accuse!
I've just played the card which is normally valued between the 10 and the Queen!

Hijo de cabra, mucho salta.

To make holy water, add salt.

It's a braw bricht moonlicht nicht.

I am not Scottish

S'il vous plait... dessine-moi un mouton.
Desmond Lynhams' moustache has been silver plated.

Donner und Blitzen.

Doner and a hurl.

don su don su don doko doko don

Welcome Donald! Welcome Susan! Donald! Susan! Donald! Do come in! Do come in, Donald!

Excusatio non petita, accusatio manifesta.

Excuse me, you are not small. I accuse you manifestly.

Non ho pagato per il mio libro nuovo
I'm afraid there is no hope for your illness while my books remain so pristine.

naturam expellas furca! tamen usque recurret

Phew! Better out than in, but warn people if you're going to do that again!

quod erat demonstrandum

Those vermin are protesting in the square again.

ri-mi-bi-du-mo-i-odi-ai-ama-ri-go
A poem: I bid for more iodine, then I go away.

Nihongo ga wakarimasen.

Hung like a mason.

Voici l'Anglais avec sang-froid habituel.

The English Voices sang in a Freudian fashion as usual.

Saya chakap Melayu baik, la

If you are about to vomit, I will settle you comfortably and sing a bit.

ho le mey kiti luca chi chi chi

The sacred kitten of Brian May looks as if it's about to take up ballroom dancing.

Watashi wa baka na gajin

What does she want a bread maker for?

gote mu mein aa gaye
My goats are all gay.

om mane padme hum

My bachelor pad stinks

In flagranté delicto
Yes, it is meant to do that. It's called caramelisation. It will be delicious. Trust me.

Hasta la vista, baby!
Isn't that a fine view, my child?

sic transit gloria mundi

Mrs Estefan threw up in the van on the journey home from a weekend away.

Hony soit qui mal y pense

When Malcolm is 'dressed up', he would prefer to be known as 'Honey'

si monumentum requiris, circumspice

Making a huge statue by pouring cement over Victoria Beckham.

Penblwydd Hapus
Agh! The cat has drawn blood from my "little chap!"

Daijobu desu ka?

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