I hate tables, which is why I've nicked rab's. Torn between the grips of Melpomene and Thalia (nice if you can get it), I've bifurcated Game I.

Furcation I : Stratford-Upon-Crescent	Graziela: These secret, black and midnight weasels three Doth speed my coach, and double as my tea. 'Tis quicker, by my troth, to get them trained, Far more than all my shrews, as yet untamed. But I, I am more shap'd for sportive tricks Than shuttling messages beyond the Styx. I prithee, vaunt my skill as ballroom dancer! Boleti: Nay, tell us of our fortune, necromancer!
Furcation II : Oh Yes It Is!	Graziela: It's weasily explained. I always travel on them, it's more cost-effective. Boleti: What you mean? Graziela: Things run better on Weasel! Azulejo: I don't wish to know that. I hear you're a medium. Graziela: No, I'm a size 6 but you're too kind. Boleti: [whispers] Watch out - it's a small medium at large. Graziela: I can indeed. Azulejo: But can you predict the future? ...Oh, that's very good. Graziela: You're called Azulejo, you're 38, married and the father of two lovely children. Azulejo: Hmm, not bad. I'm actually the father of 3 children. Graziela: That's what you think. Boleti: I went to your steaming hovel the other night. It said "Closed, owing to unforeseen circumstances." [All groan mightily] Graziela: Yep, saw that one coming.
Furcation III : Reverse Chalk Farm '84	[Projoy] I admire your attempt to reunify the entire game; as to your other question, hmm. Green Park/Park Royal, leaving it open for matt.
Furcation IV : Boardman's Combined	Waterchute
Furcation V : Small Earthquake in Chile	Attacks
Furcation VI : Sound Charades	[matt] Yes it was Farscape - knew you'd get it. As for the this: best I can get is Smeller's Scents Of Snow (maybe Sorrel?), but I know that's wrong.
Furcation VII : Limericks	The dog cocked its leg

*sigh*. It seems these things always include a furcation I can't do as soon as possible. This has two already...

[Ibid] That's what strategic passing/fudging manouevres are for. I'm not really sure how to do Sound Charades and Oh, Yes It Is myself, but am willing to give it a go.

Shame, I was hoping Ibid'd play, as I know he's got a Sound Charade ready to roll. So here's a quick... Bluffer's Guide to fudging Oh Yes It Is!:

1. Enter [entirely new character]
2. Exit [extraneous character who hasn't said anything]
3. [hero] and [sidekick] do visual comedy bit that doesn't work in a completely verbal medium
4. "Graziela, you remind me of my wife! Why, she's so ugly, her visit to the beautician's took 10 hours. And then they gave her an estimate. When she walks through the door, the mice start throwing themselves in the traps. But then my face lights up - she shoves it in the fire."
5. "Whaddaya think of it so far?!"
6. "I knew I should've done Today With Des & Mel instead"
7. "I've had better audiences than this in a phone box"
8. "I read a book about you lot the other day, it's called Bleak House"
9. "Goodness gracious!" [points offstage]
10. "I say, boys and girls, if [villain/ghost/zombie/alien/giant ant/bloke with sheet over head/terrorist/DEATH] shows up, you will say It's Behind You, won't you?"
11. Curtain

(But don't use the last one)

To avert the impending Projoy Paradox I've had to reunify the original bifurcation, venting excess pressure into the limerick strand. Let's hope the result is stable.

i Stratford	Graziela: Thy fortune, wretch, is plain for all to see If dance ye not, imperilled shall you be All men who walk these sands accurséd are Their choice: to die, or do the Cha Cha Cha! Azulejo: Bloody 'ell! Boleti: Thou ain't kidding, sunshine! Graziela: If you wouldst live beyond this night, then go! Grab thee a weasel, slow slow quick quick slow!
ii Oh Yes It Is!	Graziela: Oh yes I did! Boleti: Oh no... fair enough, you win. Enter Prince Charming
iii Fork Charm 48	Wembley Olympia, shunting Projoy into the Mens' 10m platform competition
iv Small Earthquake	Britney's
v Sound Charades	[Martha] You're right, that's not it. The old words-not-used test should help -- and remember which department Fred's in.
vi Limacres	And laid a green egg   Then sat up to beg

[matt] Bravo! I fear impending Acre Street...

[rab] What do you mean impending? It never went away! And why didn't someone tell me that "men" is plural already? Oh, the shame!

[matt] Before (against my better judgement) I join the fray, could you tell me why you dropped Boardmans and didn't add another gamelette to make a total of eight ?

[Blob] If I may be so bold as to answer on matt's behalf... this isn't Acre Street as such; we're free (or as free as we can be under the usual T&Cs) to bifurcate and reunify games as applicable. So in this case Reverse Chalk Farm and Boardmans have been unified into a hybrid game (Fork Charm 48), which in turn has had the obvious consequence of mutating straight limericks into Limacres. Hope that makes sense.

Incidentally, I intend to make a move 'Real Soon Now', if I can just arrange with Dobbin the Pantomime Horse's agent a suitable fee for a guest appearance.

[Blob] What rab said. [rab] Glad to hear it -- I was beginning to fear I'd killed the game off.

Ah I see, a nice variant. I will wait for rab's move then before being foolhardy enough to venture my own effort.

I know what the sound charade is, but I don't want to be making every other move.

[Martha] But no-one else does 'em like you!

Shit. I was going to do a move today, but I notice that the tea leaves of fate are disappearing down the plug-hole of destiny (getting trapped in the U-bend of eternity etc) and it's nearly time to go home. Bugger it. Got so caught up in 'Notes and Queries' at Orange I neglected this. (And I have also done some work today, woohoo!).

So maybe tomorrow.

Thank goodness no-one got there before me. Ladies and gentlement I present...

i Stratford	Enter drunk lutenist, who strums almost tunefully Boleti: What is this noise that has just started and so painfully my earlobes parted? Lutenist: For 'tis the weasel dance Sire The one the king doth most admire Graziela: (to audience) Not when I have my way And the king have banished away!
ii Oh Yes It Is!	Prince Charming: Ah, Princess Graziela, the fairest of all in this land. Graziela: (coyly) Prince Charming! (to audience) The most handsome prince there ever was; I wonder if he do ask for my hand in marriage? Prince Charming falls to knees, unaware of the arrival of Dobbin the Pantomime horse in the background. Charming: I was wondering, o fair Graziela Graziela flutters eye-lashes Dobbin approachs Charming and Graziela, inserting his nose right into the middle of their entrace and brays loudly Charming: Away with you, nag, before I turn you into glue. Back half of Dobbin lifts his tail; front half of Dobbin assumes expression of horror, and runs away as quickly as possible, the two halves separating. The two chase each other round for minutes until being shooed off stage by Charming. Audience: Cheers
iii Fork Charm 48	Shepherd's Loo, which I believe takes Blob out of the game. Sorry, Blob.
iv Small Earthquake	Enormously
v Sound Charades	I think Martha knows matt's one and on the assumption that he gets this one, I'll gift him two points. Film - One word FX: Knock knock Professor Hertz: Come! Enter undergradute student Nigel Round Hertz: Ah Round! Do take a seat. Now how can I help you? Round: Well, you see, Professor, whilst enraptured by your lecture on 'Curves' yesterday, I was slightly confused by one of your diagrams. Hertz: Go on. Round: Well, first you drew an arc. Hertz: Indeed. Round: And then an ellipse. Hertz: Yes, and after that I believe a hyperbola. One of my favourites, although I am rather partial to the limacon of Pascal. Has a most beautiful pedal, you know. Anyway I seem to be going off on something of a tangent. What was your question? Round: Well next you had lots and lots of curves that all looked the same, going on into infinity. Hertz: Well I do admit my motions can be somewhat circular. Round: And the thing is, you never told us what these curves were, as it was the end of the period. Hope that's the right kind of thing; not done this before.
vi Limacres	There once was a man with a dog Who kept a very dull log The dog cocked its leg And laid a green egg Then sat up to beg That looked suspiciously like an old mog Oh my! What a terrible slog For a bottle of lavender grog As though he were vastly agog
vii 10,000 Celerity CD's	9,999 VD clinics

Be warned: the slightly pedantic HTML checker makes this a more difficult than usual game to play...

Incidentally, was I right in assuming that Graziela is a girl's name? Hard to tell, these days...

Thanks for the 2 points :o) Do I have to figure yours out, now? (And yes, I thought Graziela was a girl, too)