Modesty Cupboard
Greased Lemon
Buttering you (sic) toast. Simply means spreading a sort of emulsion made from the scum that floats to the top of a certain farmyard animal's mammalian secretions onto a scorched slice of material sawed from a block consisting of the ground up tops of certain grasses, a fungoid organism which exhales greenhouse gases, a little fat and ascorbic acid mixed with a little water, which is pounded together, allowed to ferment for a while and then roasted in a hot oven until brown all over. Not terribly romantic, I'm afraid. And you do NOT want to hear what's meant by "bacon, black pudding and eggs"!
Puffed Wheat - Ha! I nearly said "Corn Flakes".
Daisy Piercing
Recently I heard an answerphone message in which the callee claimed to be busy Gluing the Green Envelope. What was really going on?
What goes on in the purple light district?
Paper CD?
What about a dog-end brusher?
Welsh Stripper
Oh, and while we're on the subject of egg-cups with cute little legs, my Auntie from Clitheroe has threatened to bequeath to me her precious collection of Oily Leathers and I'm shuddering in anticipation, nay - ignorance. Any ideas?
Meanwhile, what's a tablet contestant?