Very much the same as goes on in a red light district, but with additional farm animals. Mind your feet when you visit, and do not be surprised if you see a good-looking ewe in a shop window.

Paper CD?

And I hope you noticed that I said nothing at all about Welshmen or welly boots in that entry about purple light districts. Oh, bugger, I just pressed "Submit" by mistake....

A paper CD is an item of clothing (if it may be termed clothing) for suntanning the genitals, consisting of a circle of reflective paper with a circular hole cut concentrically in it. To wear the paper CD, you simply stick your (cough cough) through the hole, go sunbathing wearing nothing else. The sun's rays are concentrated on the key area producing a pronounced tanning effect. Just be careful you don't burn.

What about a dog-end brusher?

Originally a specialised tool for the removal of ordure from the smelly end of long-haired dogs and cats, it is now applied to any person with a truly distressingly repulsive job, such as teaching schoolchildren or telephone sales.

Welsh Stripper

This is blindingly obvious really. Everybody has heard of a Welsh Dresser, that substantial and robust decorative pine display unit which leans precariously against the wall in a kitchen, or indeed sitting room, in some cases dining room, and rarely, a posh entrance hall [pause for breath] - which has shelves and in some instances, little nooks and crannies, etc. Well, most folk proudly display their knick-knacks or amusingly-shaped teapots on these shelves, in order to attract a compliment or two from a passing guest. In short, they 'dress' the shelves. A Welsh Stripper, quite simply, is someone who UNdresses these shelves.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of egg-cups with cute little legs, my Auntie from Clitheroe has threatened to bequeath to me her precious collection of Oily Leathers and I'm shuddering in anticipation, nay - ignorance. Any ideas?