Bit of a messy entry there. Thanks for clearing it up, Raak.

Buttering you (sic) toast. Simply means spreading a sort of emulsion made from the scum that floats to the top of a certain farmyard animal's mammalian secretions onto a scorched slice of material sawed from a block consisting of the ground up tops of certain grasses, a fungoid organism which exhales greenhouse gases, a little fat and ascorbic acid mixed with a little water, which is pounded together, allowed to ferment for a while and then roasted in a hot oven until brown all over. Not terribly romantic, I'm afraid. And you do NOT want to hear what's meant by "bacon, black pudding and eggs"!

Puffed Wheat - Ha! I nearly said "Corn Flakes".

This is an allusion to the story of the three little pigs and the big bad wolf. The first little pig built his house of straw, and the wolf huffed and puffed and blew it away. Hence, to describe an enterprise as puffed wheat is to imply that it has been undertaken with no real effort and no knowledge of what is required and how to carry it out, and will fail at the first test. Cf. Stacked Broomhandles, referring to the second pig's house of sticks, which meets a similar fate, showing that although real effort has been applied, it is wasted without real knowledge; and Stout Brick, referring to the third pig's house built with right effort knowledgeably applied.

Daisy Piercing

'Daisy Piercing' was well known during the 17th and 18th centuries but appears to have fallen into a decline of usage. Whilst it originally had only one meaning it was expanded during it's later use and, eventually, meant two things

A) The art (and it is one) of hanging a cow bell

B) The act of a gigolo - the inference here being that gigolos generally 'date' old cows.

Hello, hello; I seem to have cut off myself. So, and it's something that has always intrigued me and yet something to which I have never had a satisfactory answer; what is a

Kiwi fruit?

Quite simply, I suggest you go into a bar in Invercargill and, clutching your tube of Speights firmly for protection, ask the massed ranks of ram-castrating rugger buggers for a Kiwi Fruit. I can guarantee that you will learn pretty rapidly what it means, and you will probably learn a lot of other new words too.

In the same spirit, I was recently offered a Cornish Pasting, but had no time to spare and was forced to make my excuses. Would I have needed to bring my own wallpaper?