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The return of the facial nightwear game
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Forget names, faces? Embarrassed by your poor command of English? Have you encountered a mysterious and possibly very rude phrase, but you're afraid to ask what it meant? This is the place for you. Leave such face pyjamas here, and let our panel of resident experts laugh at them.
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[when a gentleman's *ahem* is unable to *ahem*] ... due to a hairless scrotum, perhaps?

[Andogynous] sorreee - inadequate poof reading.

deliberate error, turkey

Curtain Tongs (the real thing) are used for hanging, taking down and adjusting glassfibre drapes which are magnificently fireproof, but tend to insert fine fibres of, frankly, glass under the fingernails if dealt with by bare hands even in latex gloves. The term is really now the equivalent of "A Bargepole" in the phrase "I wouldn't touch him/her with Curtain Tongs, even before I heard the rumour", and is even reduced to an adjective in some demotic contexts. As in: "Whaddya think of 'er?" "Curtain Tongs, mate. Curtain Tongs."

Phone Bottle

The ability to charm someone's knickers off over the phone, especially when one is invariably tongue-tied and bashful face to face.

Chimney Poker

Any gambling card game conducted in a smoke-filled room (usually with attendant beer, flatulence and bad language)

Modesty Cupboard

Isn't that where one keeps one's face pyjamas?

Greased Lemon

Buttering you toast - someone used this as a sexual reference...and I'm dying to find out what it means...
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