I was contracted to appear as one of the lambs in The Silence of the Lambs, but I got myself fired for making impassioned out-of-character speeches and singing old Goodies hits.
Country dancing is about the most powerful form of protest against society. It has been employed to devastating effect in eight of this country's most successful coups.
Only one starfish has ever risen to cabinet rank in this country, and this is principally down to the fact that starfish are unable to speak, write, debate, frame legislation, understand a ministerial brief or be bound by any kind of collective responsibility.
Hash browns are so named for their resemblance to rapid access data structures. Other delicious choices for breakfast treats include linked list greens and array yellows.
Somewhere in the sprawling metropolis - in his secret laboratory - an evil wrongdoer is hatching a dark plot to become the queen and rule the world. Could this be another job for “Security Hamster”?
I come from a long-established line of mongers. My family have been mongers for as long as anyone can remember. My father is a fishmonger, his father was an ironmonger and his father before him was a costermonger. My mother was an accomplished rumour- and scandalmonger but the spin-doctor said she had to give it up on account of her back. I thought I would go into domainmongering but my dad says its a flash in the pan and the real money is in war.
The rise of Donald Rumsfeld was foretold by Nostradamus, the ancient Mayans, the Book of Revelations, and the 12th June 1973 edition of 'Womens Weekly'.
Somewhere in the unfashionable suburbs, an attractive and scantily clad female has been trapped in the attic of a burning warehouse as part of a plot to swindle her inheritance. Could this be a job for "Fire-fighter Guinea-pig"?
Meanwhile in Cricklewood, the Fire-fighter Guinea-pig's arch-nemesis, the Combustible Shrew, is hatching a plot for his rival's demise. And his diary secretary gets paid a lot
Most Roman mosaics are actually massive Rubik's Cubes that have gone stiff and settled in one configuration. The pictures they appear to show are projections from the viewers mind.
Conifer trees are very militaristic. During the cold war, hundreds volunteered to leap into the Arctic Ocean and scud around under the Polar ice cap looking for enemy submarines.