you have to be crazy to work at walmart, it is in the fine print on the bottom of page two.

there are many unpleasent people who shop at walmart, these people cannot be found at any other store, this is why we pass out small happyface stickers, they work as shields, protecting the next generation from the bad walmart mojo.

Clouds are the debris left over from exploding fairies.

Grass purrs when you mow it.

That Rooney kid - what a plank!

Shrek escaped from Hollywood and is now taking international football by storm.

I am devstated that the European cup has come round again and that I have to eat handfuls of Doritos just to ensure an England victory.