mc5 - ... so help me God.

That Rooney kid - what a plank!

Shrek escaped from Hollywood and is now taking international football by storm.

I am devstated that the European cup has come round again and that I have to eat handfuls of Doritos just to ensure an England victory.

Bob the dog

Leaky football? A large dollop of peanut butter makes an ideal substitute.

Raak

There is no more productive or enjoyable way to spend a day than cutting down saplings, pulling up nettles and weeds, and filling a skip with all the garden trash.