mc5 - Ooops! Time to change career?

Darwin

Dear William,
It has come to my attention that your brother George has never provided me with a tooth in trade. I would muchly like to add one of his pristine enamels to my collection, but based on his unwillingness to cooperate, I beseech you to acquire one for me. I will pay triple the going rate. It would please me to no ends if you would procure for me the complete collection, at which time I may have another little favor to ask.
Yours In Good Faith,

T. Fairy.

p.s. I have hidden a mallet beneath your bed.

I Say, Porter!

Upper right two and four, lower right three and two lower left one. Come on.

I Say, Porter!

A pink podume to anyone who recognises the above quote. It was brought to my mind by the death of Dick Vosburgh last week.

Kim

Oh gawd, its nearly dawn and I can't get rid of these nicotine stains!

bob

"Little boy, would you like to come sleepover at my Neverland ranch?"

I Say, Porter!

[bob] Coffee all over the place.

Raak

*jangling chord* NOBODY expects Santa Claus! Our two weapons are our sinister laugh *HO HO HO* and our menacing red cloak -- and our minute record of all your sins... Our three weapons...

Sierra Mike

What about your knobbly sack?

Raak

Among our multiple and diverse weapons of terror are these: our sinister laugh *HO HO HO*, our menacing red cloak with the furry bits, our record of your sins, our knobbly sack, and our little elves. Will you confess now, or must we play you -- THE JINGLE BELLS! *evil maniacal laughter*

Darwin

"IOU 5 cents, please add it to my tab."

I Say, Porter!

"£14.50, Johnny. That'll teach you to sleep with your head under the pillow." © T. Pratchett

.......

[isp] ouch!!! LOL

I Say, Porter!

Time for a change?

Pope

Knobbly

"Mazel tov... oops"

Rosie

"Can't we get some birds in and have a knees-up?"

Phil

"Get that arse!"

Raak

"La ilaha illa Allah. Muhammadun rasulullah."

I Say, Porter!

The creation story's not meant to be taken literally...

Sierra Mike

I am so totally not gonna wear that dumb hat in public!

Uncle Korky

"Erm... I appear to have a turret in my car, but someone's nicked the machine gun..."

Rosie

"You know what women are like".

I Say, Porter!

I talk to God...

Uncle Korky

"Hi! I'm David Icke!"

I Say, Porter!

What do you mean, women aren't allowed to be Pope?

Raak

Let's do the Spanish Inquisition sketch!

Projoy

I was only obeying orders!

Phil

"Can I get an audience with Bono?"

Projoy

Dear God, please make it chocolate pudding for lunch today!

Projoy

Charity to the poor? But I don't understand this. What's in it for us? We need to be maximising our yield, here, not giving the green stuff away! Who hired this nincompoop?

Sierra Mike

"I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition"

Raak

The Church should institute a vow of poverty for all of its officials and servants.

Projoy

Time to invade Italy and take back my kingdom. Roll out the tanks, Cardinal General Bellarini!

I Say, Porter!

Of course I support a woman's right to choose! What do you think I am, some kind of fascist?

Rosie

Ma Dad loved his fitba'. Supported Rangers, aye.

I Say, Porter!

What have the Roman Catholics ever done for us?

Raak

We need to reexamine our basic brand proposition, and establish new conversations that let our customers talk directly to us. I've hired Mr. Wormwood here from Screwtape.com to create opportunities to enable new user-centred engagement modes and collectively emergent reevaluation of traditional doctrine. To keep up to date on these exciting developments, subscribe to my blog, and read the new College of Cardinals wiki.

(I am delighted to record that rab's spam-detector turned up its nose at that until I invoked the name of our patron saint.)

I Say, Porter!

Yes, I wear the cilice, but it won't show under my papal robes.