"Can I get an audience with Bono?"

Dear God, please make it chocolate pudding for lunch today!

Charity to the poor? But I don't understand this. What's in it for us? We need to be maximising our yield, here, not giving the green stuff away! Who hired this nincompoop?

"I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition"

The Church should institute a vow of poverty for all of its officials and servants.